


Phoenix

by Bebedora



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Betrayal, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Game(s), Rebirth, Romance, Violence, pre-game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-10-05
Packaged: 2017-12-05 16:01:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 65
Words: 223,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/725158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bebedora/pseuds/Bebedora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Death is final. At least that is what you have been taught to believe. A tale of death, rebirth and betrayal. Rated M for language, violence and graphic material.  Begins seventeen years pre-game, ends five years post-game.  COMPLETE</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Phoenix Prologue

Phoenix: Prologue

 

                The rain was relentless.  It had poured for three days straight.  It was one of the worst storms Winhill had ever seen.  Lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating the man’s face for just a moment in the darkness.  Even with the rain, the summer heat was oppressive.  He looked down at the cart next to him, a malignant smirk passing over his lips.  He spoke to the still form lying covered on the wagon.  He knew his words went unheard, but he spoke them anyway.

“You deserve this, you know.  Whatever they have planned, you deserve it.  I want you to know this is your fault.  You brought this upon yourself.”

Lightning struck somewhere off in the fields, sending a tremor through the ground seconds later.

“If you just would have loved me instead of him, we wouldn’t be here tonight.  You’d still be alive and I wouldn’t be doing what I’m about to do. I wouldn’t hate you so much.”

The wind gusted and changed the direction of the rainfall for just a moment, making the rain fall horizontally.  Off in the fields, lightning struck again.

“This never had to happen; I never wanted it to happen, but you made me.  _You_ brought me to this,” he spat, venom in his words.

He looked down the road at the approaching headlights in the distance.

“They’re coming for you,” he said to the form wrapped in blankets.  It’s not like he expected a response.

He laughed a sinister chuckle into the wind a spoke again. 

“Those dumb bastards back in the village, they’re so naïve.  They think you’re six feet under.  It’s their own damn fault they never bothered to look in the coffin one last time.  They thought you were so special, such a saint.  But I knew what you really were.  You were just a whore.  A whore who fell for that filthy Galbadian soldier.  A lot of good that did you, huh?” he asked aloud.

The truck was getting closer now.  It was having trouble navigating through a divot in the road that had filled with floodwater.

“That idiot soldier is gonna be heartbroken if he ever comes back.  I can’t wait to see him suffer.  I’m sure he’ll put on great show.  The villagers will surely do their part to make his life miserable.  They hate him almost as much as I do.  It’ll be great,” he laughed, an evil flicker passing over his eyes.

The unmarked vehicle stopped directly in front of him.  Three figures stepped out and one approached him, holding an umbrella over its head.  He couldn’t see their faces in the dark.  They were dressed in civilian clothes, one wearing a short skirt.  They obviously waned to blend in with the local populous and did not want to draw any unwanted attention to themselves.  Two of the figures immediately went the cart and started to move the wrapped object.

“Not so fast,” the man barked.  “Hands off until I get my payment.”

The person in the skirt reached inside her light summer jacket and pulled out an envelope.  “It’s all there, the amount you were promised,” the woman said, her voice almost drowned out by the sound of the rain.

The man inspected his bounty and acknowledged his acceptance.  The female agent motioned to her two companions to start loading the cargo and then held out her hand, palm up, as if she was expecting something in return.

“Oh yeah,” the man replied.  “Here.”

He tossed an envelope haphazardly at her, catching her off guard.   It almost hit her in the face.   She fumbled while trying to catch it and not drop her umbrella in the process.  

“It’s all there, all her information.  She died yesterday, around 10pm,” he stated, flatly.

The woman looked over the contents of the envelope for a moment, and then nodded in with apparent satisfaction.

“And you’re sure there’s no next of kin?” she inquired.  “Dr. Odine doesn’t want anybody trying to claim the body down the line.”

“No,” he said, emotionless.  “No one’s going to miss her.  She was trash.  Trash the village is glad to be rid of.”  He spat on the ground and wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

Disgusted by his spitting, the female agent wrinkled her nose in repulsion.  “And the child?”

“Dead too,” he lied. 

“Well, everything seems to be in order.  Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Barclay.  Dr.  Odine thanks you for your willingness to help with his project.  Your information gathering services have always been appreciated by the lab,” she said.  She looked up at the sky in annoyance as the rain continued to fall, unabated.  “And of course,” she continued,” you understand the need for you to keep quiet about this transaction, as always.  It is of the utmost importance for the security of the project and the teams involved.”

“Yeah, my lips are sealed,” he said, placing the envelope with his payment securely in his back pants pocket.

The female agent turned and moved around the side of the vehicle, getting in the passenger side.  The other agents closed the back of the truck and also got in.  The vehicle sped away, spraying mud back at Barclay.  He grumbled as he wiped the mud splatters off the front of his pants.

“Enjoy yourself, bitch,” he snarled after the truck.

He looked down at his watch.  11:37 pm, August 24th.  He turned his head up towards the sky and let the rain pelt his face.  He then started back down the side road towards the soft lights on the horizon.  The rumbling thunder continued, drowning out the cries of a newborn in the sleeping village ahead.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_Author’s notes:  This story will span a few different time frames.  The first part is seventeen years pre-game, with the last(and longest) part taking place five years post-game. You will always be told when a time change happens!   I promise Squall and Laguna will be in it eventually…please be patient and keep reading!  (Rinoa, however will not be included, because she just didn’t fit into my story.  Sorry Squinoa fans!  I hope this doesn’t deter you from reading!)_

_I have had this idea for many years, and finally found the time to get it written._

_I always appreciate constructive criticism, but please no flames…my fire proof coat is at the cleaners.  Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy the ride._

_\--Bebedora_


	2. Phoenix Chapter One

Phoenix: Chapter One

 

                Dr. Odine waited outside his lab on the outskirts of Esthar.  He had never been a patient man, and was finding it increasingly difficult to contain his growing anger.  He paced back and forth, anxiously wringing his hands.

“Vat is ze holdup?  Why haven’t zey arrived yet?” he demanded to his assistant, stomping his foot for emphasis.  The young woman jumped at his sudden outburst, and before she could answer him, he scurried away, mumbling to himself.

The message had come through around 8pm.  One of his “research assistants” had contacted his lab regarding a body for one of the Doctor’s experiments.  This term was hardly a true description for these scattered men and women.  “Spy” was much more appropriate.  Odine had at least one in every city, town and settlement around the globe, allowing him to sink his claws into the business of the totally oblivious public.  These agents gathered information and-more importantly-subjects for the Doctor’s experiments.  They knew exactly what sort of information the Doctor required and exactly what kind of person or creature he needed at any given time.

This message had come from a man named Barclay.  Odine had never met him, as he lived far off on the Galbadian continent in a small secluded hamlet named Winhill.  According to the message, a woman had died, and the villagers were willing to give her body to science. What Barclay hadn’t mentioned in his communique was that he had removed the body from its casket before burial, with the villagers none the wiser.  Of course, that information was not passed on to Odine’s lab.  The Doctor may have been sneaky and underhanded at times, but he was no grave robber.  Barclay had assured the lab contacts that the villagers had willingly given up the body, when in all actuality, they thought she was buried and at peace.

It was well after two in the morning, and still Odine’s subject was nowhere to be found.  There was a very small window of opportunity in which to begin his experiment.  If he didn’t start within forty-eight hours, it may not work.  He was not about to let such a perfect specimen just waste away.

The message had read:

**** Female, 25 years of age****  STOP

****In good health, died in childbirth****  STOP

****Excellent candidate for Project Perfect Phoenix****  STOP

It was a short message, but informative enough for Odine.  He immediately sent his collection team to retrieve his prize.

“Vere are zey?” he screamed again.  Time was running out and he didn’t want his experiment jeopardized.  Almost as soon as the last word had escaped his lips, an unmarked truck pulled up to the lab.  “Pull around ze back!” he barked at the driver.

“It’s about time,” the small Doctor muttered under his breath as he shuffled inside to meet his subject for the first time.

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

                Within the hour, the body of the young woman was prepped for examination by the Doctor.  As the final preparations for his exam were finishing, Odine read through the file an assistant had handed him.

**Subject:**   Raine Leonhart

**Age:**   25

**Weight/Height:** 125 lbs. /5’4”

**Ethnicity:** Galbadian

**Approx. Time/Date of Death:**  2200 hours, August 23rd 

**Cause of Death:** Complications from childbirth

**Place of Death:** Winhill, Galbadia

**Prior Health History:** Unknown, presumed healthy

Barclay had certainly provided with gusto.  Dr. Odine set the file on a small table and moved towards his subject.  The technicians had positioned the young woman on an exam table.  She was nude so the doctor could study her under more scrutiny.  She appeared to be extremely healthy, and had no obvious crippling deformities.  Odine noted a small C-shaped scar on her left thigh, about two inches long.  The only other issue the doctor took notice of was that her abdomen was slightly bloated, but that was to be expected of any woman one day postpartum. 

Odine smiled and rubbed his hands together in delight.  “Yes.  She iz perfekt.  Zis will be marvelous.  You may dress her in scrubs and prepare her for ze procedure,” Odine instructed his technical staff.  “Ze procedure vill commence in two hours.”

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

Odine’s approach to bringing back the dead was very straightforward.  He and his research team had isolated a series of chemicals and organic compounds they determined to be essential to life.  Odine and the team concluded that by re-introducing the chemicals and organics back into a recently deceased body, along with brain stem stimulation, they could, in theory, re-start life.  They were unsure, however if any memories or skills would remain from the previous life experience.  That would take years of research on a test subject that had been successfully been brought back to life, and they had yet to do that.  They speculated that the longer the time lapse between death and re-animation, the more skills and memories would be lost, and the recovery, if even possible, of said skills and memories would be exponentially harder with the passage of time.

He and his colleagues had made many attempts on various creatures before making the leap to a human subject.  The first, second and third attempts had been made on toramas that they had bred in captivity for experimentation.  They had been euthanized and given the chemical cocktail and brain stimulation within 48 hours of death.  None of the three had ever shown any traces of life, and after each attempt, the titration of the chemicals had been altered slightly and the current on the stimulation had been turned up or down.  By the time they were ready for the fourth torama trial, they were confident that they would be successful.

The fourth torama test had worked, if only for a few minutes.  The creature had been successfully re-animated, only to collapse and die mere minutes later, seemingly electrocuted by its own blasters.  The research team concluded, after days of poring over the data collected and dodging Odine’s rage over losing another test subject, that the electrical stimulation delivered to the creature’s brain had overloaded its system.  In essence, it had blasted itself to death.  The experiment had worked; they just needed a different subject to make a better analysis.

Odine had decided that the next subject needed to have almost no inherent elemental electrical properties, so they decided on using a Trabian mesmerize foal that had yet to grow its characteristic blade.  That would minimize the risk of any unwanted electrical conductivity.  The experiment had been a success, and one month later, the foal was still alive.  This had given Odine the confidence to move ahead to human experimentation. 

Three weeks after the Mesmerize trial, he had obtained the corpse of an executed Galbadian prisoner from a “research assistant” at the infamous D-District Prison.  The experiment had not gone as planned.  The electric current had been too high and resulted in the man’s head exploding, splattering brain matter throughout the lab.  Needless to say, Odine was less than thrilled.  He flew into a fit of rage and stormed out of the room, still covered in bits of skull and scalp, leaving his bewildered associates to clean up the aftermath.

Within a day, he had sent out his request for another human subject to his spies.  Now here he was, less than two weeks later, gazing down at his next subject.  He was confident the necessary adjustments had been made to the electrical settings and was ready to proceed.  He wasn’t about to lose his chance with this young woman.  She was just too perfect.

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

Precisely two hours later, Odine once again entered the procedure room where Project Perfect Phoenix would begin.  The young woman had been dressed in a pale green smock made of surgical scrub material.  Her long brown hair was let down and was spilled across her shoulders from underneath the metal halo encompassing her head.  This apparatus was an integral part of what would hopefully make Project Perfect Phoenix a success.  It contained the necessary elements to deliver the electrical current to the young woman’s brain that would hopefully bring her back to life.  She had several tiny electrodes taped to her forehead and neck, to measure any brain activity that would manifest should they succeed.  Around each wrist and each ankle was a padded cuff, attached to heavy metal chains.  The chains were anchored to the underside of the gurney with massive bolts.  She had intravenous drips running into both arms, which would eventually administer the chemical cocktail Odine had determined to be crucial to the re-animation process. 

Odine finished his circle around the exam table and when he was convinced the preparations were satisfactory, he moved to the head of the gurney.  He stood silent for a few seconds, eyes closed as if in deep thought.  He inhaled deeply and with eyes still closed, he addressed his team, one of which had switched on a recording device and a video camera.

“Today iz ze day we succeed.  Zere vill be no more failures in zis lab,” he declared.  He opened his eyes as he kept speaking.  “Zis young woman’s life vaz cut short.  Ve have ze opportunity to give her a second chance.  It von’t be ze life she vonce had, but it vill be life, nonetheless.”

He motioned to the technician in charge of the chemical administration to be ready.

“Project Perfect Phoenix, Mark H-2 vill now commence.  Note ze time and date, please:  5:36 am, August 25th.” 

He nodded to the technician to start the chemical drip.  She removed the clips on each of the four lines containing the vital ingredients.  Odine watched intently as the multi-colored fluids flowed through the plastic tubing into the woman’s arms.

“Ve must vait forty-five minutes until all ze components are introduced into her system,” Odine remarked.  “In ze meantime, everyone get to zeir stations and prepare for ze next phase.  Make sure you are busy!” he barked.

The other doctors and lab technicians scurried away in all directions, busying themselves with their individually assigned tasks.  Some were making sure the chemical drips flowed at the correct speeds, while others were occupied making sure the calibrations of the electrical stimulation device were perfectly in sync.  They all knew Odine would not accept failure, especially after the last attempt.

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

Forty-five minutes passed surprisingly fast.  The technician in charge of the IV drips informed the doctor they were ready to commence with the brain stimulation.  Odine, who had remained his station at the head of the young woman the entire time, acknowledged the technician with a nod.  He then turned his attention to the older male doctor in charge of administering and monitoring the brain stimulation. 

“I take it ve vill **not** have ze same problem ve had last time, vill ve, Doctor Bishop?” Odine questioned the man, firmly.

“I can assure you, Doctor Odine, all the necessary adjustments have been made and we will not have a repeat of previous failures,” Bishop replied, with a slight hint of apprehension in his voice.  He knew if there were to be another “mishap” he would certainly lose his job, or worse.

“Good,” Odine replied, satisfied.  “I am going to hold you to zat.  Mark ze time, 6:21am.  Begin.”

Doctor Bishop flipped the switch and the current began coursing through Raine’s body.  There were no visible signs that the current was too strong, in fact there were no signs there was any current at all.

Odine scowled and pursed his thin lips together.  “Increase ze stimulation.  Ve need more current!” he shouted in Bishop’s direction.

“Yes, Doctor Odine,” he replied, turning a dial to increase the current streaming into the young woman.

Immediately, her fingers started to twitch, and all the fine hairs on her body began to stand on end.  Odine was pleased by this result, and moved around the side of the bed.  He bent down to inspect the tiny erect hairs on her arms more closely.  He smiled and looked up at Bishop.

“Now, Doctor,” he reminded.  “Zis is the place where we had ze **_problems_** last time,” he emphasized.  “Are you better prepared today?” he questioned.

“Certainly, Doctor Odine,” he responded, hoping he wasn’t lying to the small doctor.  Odine made his way back to the head of the table and gazed down at the young woman.

“Increase ze current, Doctor Bishop,” Odine commanded.  “Bring her back.”

Bishop inhaled deeply and held his breath as he turned the dial higher, hoping he wasn’t about to ruin another subject and therefore face Odine’s incredible wrath.

Instantaneously, the woman’s back arched and her hands and fingers turned into tight fists.  Her body strained against the restraints holding her to the table.  Odine’s eyes widened as he observed the controlled chaos that was unfolding before his eyes.  As the young woman’s body convulsed on the exam table, Odine licked his lips in anticipation, waiting for any signs of independent life.  All the doctors and technicians were on their guard, ready to shield themselves from any “shrapnel” that may be headed their way if the young woman’s head burst like the previous subject’s had.

Thirty seconds passed, and with it the time where the last experiment had failed so impressively came and went with a collective sigh of relief from the room’s occupants, including Odine.

“Time?” Odine barked.  A young assistant of the doctor’s answered back, “Forty seconds, Doctor Odine.”

Odine’s research had indicated that if re-animation would be attained, it would more than likely happen in the first minute. 

His eyes never leaving the jerking body of the young woman, he said to Bishop, “Be ready to shut down at sixty seconds.”  The woman’s body continued to thrash about, fists balling, toes curling.  Her hair was beginning to stick out straight from the electric static.  She flailed so violently that one of the intravenous lines tore from her arm, starting a trickle of blood running down her limb. 

“Ten seconds remaining,” the young assistant reminded.  As she began her final countdown, Odine began to wring his hands together and tap his foot in anticipation.

“Eight…seven…six...five...,” she counted.  Bishop put his hand on the giant red shut down switch, dreading having to come up with an explanation as to why they had failed yet again.  His brow was drenched with sweat and his heart was racing.  The seconds felt like hours. 

“Four…three…two…,” she continued. 

Out of nowhere, Raine’s eyes shot open as a deep, raspy breath shook her trembling body. 

“Off!  Off!” Odine screamed.  “Turn off ze current!  Mark ze time!  6:23 am!”  Bishop quickly complied with Odine’s command and ran to the side of the exam table in exhilaration.

The smell of burnt ozone in the air from the electrical current was thick, and all the occupants of the room were silent, save for the ragged, uneven gasps coming from the recently deceased woman.  The breaths were not in a regular cadence; rather they were at inconsistent intervals, sometimes ten or fifteen seconds between each.  Odine waited patiently as another doctor came close and shone a small penlight into her open, yet hauntingly vacant and unblinking eyes.

“Pupils are sluggish,” he noted.  He moved the light from side to side.  “She’s not following the light’s path.  I don’t think she’s in there.”  Odine merely grunted quietly and kept his vigil on the woman.

As the minutes passed, her writhing slowly calmed, as did her breathing.  Breaths that were once irregular gasps, now had a more even and deep rhythm.  Slowly, her spasms abated and her body relaxed.  Her back lowered onto the tabletop and the strain on the restraints was all but gone.  Gradually her eyes began to relax and finally closed in what appeared to be sleep.

“She’s unconscious,” a technician noted, pointing to brain wave readouts in front of her on one of many screens.  Odine clapped his hands together and yelled, “Ach!  Success!  Yearz of hard work have finally paid off!  You should all be very proud.”

He then went around the side of the procedure table and tapped the now living woman’s hand lightly.  He bent down and whispered in her ear,” You, my dear, are a diamond in ze rough.  You vill have a new life.  Ve vill give you ze tools to achieve just zat, in time.”

The small doctor then turned and started to leave the chamber, barking more orders as he went.  “Move her to ze medical bay and call me when she regains consciousness,” he said, pointing at a middle-aged female lab technician.  “And you,” he demanded, pointing to both Bishop and the young lady who had been in charge of the chemical infusion,” Prepare your reports and be in my office no later than 3pm this afternoon.  I vill not tolerate tardiness.”

The doctor swiftly exited the room and proceeded down the cavernous, desolate halls of his lab complex, towards his office.  He turned the corner, and when he was satisfied that there was no one present to see him; he jumped into the air in celebration.  His experiment had succeeded.


	3. Phoenix Chapter Two

Phoenix: Chapter Two

 

                **_Light_.** Such a bright light.  She wanted it to go away.  It hurt her eyes, and they weren’t even open.

**_Sound_.  ** Muffled voices chattered around her.  She had a hard time making out what they were saying.  “…three days now…Odine…impatient…”  She willed them to shut up so she could go back to sleep.

**_Smell_.  ** She smelled an antiseptic odor, like one would find in a hospital or clinic.  _Hospital?  Am I in a hospital?  Why?_

**_Tactile._** She was aware of the fact that she could not move her hands and feet.  They felt restrained, and she didn’t know why.  _Did I do something wrong?  Did I commit a crime?  I hope I didn’t hurt someone…_

She desperately wanted to open her eyes, but no matter how hard she tried, the enormous weight on her eyelids would not budge.  She tried to speak, but her voice would not work.  It felt as if her entire throat was coated in a thick mixture of tar and sand, and her mouth felt full of cotton balls.

“…at her mouth…trying…”

The voices were back again, and they seemed closer this time.  She wanted whomever it was to turn the light off, so she could try again to open her eyes.  The light was so painful, so intense.

She managed a faint groan, but it was cut short by the piercing pain of her parched throat.  She didn’t know if she wanted to try again to speak, but that damn light was just so annoying.

“…call Doctor…him know…waking up…”

She decided to make one last attempt to speak, as she was quickly becoming exhausted.  She swallowed the small amount of saliva that had accumulated in her mouth, hoping it would be enough to moisten her throat and allow her to speak.  “L-light…off…,” she rasped, her weak voice barely audible under the din of various beeping monitors, machines and other random noises.

The voices were much clearer now, as she heard a male voice shout, “Quick!  Turn off the light!”

Within a few seconds, the blinding light coming through the thin skin of her eyelids was reduced to a soft glow, and was no longer painful.  She gave the act of opening her eyes one last try and to her surprise, she managed to crack them open slightly.

“That’s it,” a soft female voice encouraged.  “A little at a time.  Let your eyes adjust to the light.”  The soothing tone gently urged her to seek out a deep place in her mind, where she searched for the inner strength she needed to force her eyes open.  She was feeling incredibly drained but willed herself to press on, yearning to put a face to the phantom voice.  She just had to see what was on the other side of her eyelids.  _“Then you can go back to sleep,”_ she told herself.

The faceless voice spoke again, “Don’t open your eyes too fast, dear.”

With a final burst of energy, she opened her eyes and tried in vain to focus on the blurry mass in front of her.  Within seconds, the blob was obscured by an extremely bright light, small and pinpointing.  It made her screw her eyes shut again, and she instantly regretted her decision to ever open them in the first place.

“For Hyne’s sake, Leonard!” the female voice scolded.  “Give her a minute before you shine that damn light in her eyes!”  The woman patted her charge’s hand softly and cooed, “Go ahead and open your eyes again, sweetheart.  I promise he won’t shine the light in them until you’re ready for him to do so.”  Her last words were accompanied by a stern glare of warning to her colleague.

The young woman wasn’t sure if she could force her eyes open once more.  She was nearing the point of exhaustion, despite having only been conscious for less than five minutes.  A part of her wanted to throw in the towel and allow the encroaching unconsciousness to take her, but something in the back of her mind was urging her to try one more time.  She just had to see the talking woman’s face.  She had to know whether or not she was real, or just a figment of her delirium.

She forced her eyes open and was very relieved when the blinding light of “Leonard’s” penlight did not return.  “Try to focus on my face, dear,” the woman said, pointing to her own. 

Blinking several times, her eyesight quickly adapting to the soft light, she obeyed the voice and focused with intent on the blob, which was looking more and more like a human face with each passing moment.

The young woman allowed a soft smile to cross her lips as she whispered, “I can see you.”  The nurse grinned and replied, “I’m so glad.”  Her patient then tried to reach for the hand of the nurse, only to find that her stretch was thwarted by padded restraints.  “Why am I chained?” she asked, confused.  The nurse comforted her by squeezing her fingers gently and answering, “Don’t worry darling. It’s for your own protection right now.”  Too exhausted to question her further, the young lady accepted the nurse’s response.

The nurse then grabbed a soft cloth from a pile on a small table nearby and dipped it in a bowl of cool water.  She wiped the woman’s forehead with now damp cloth, hoping to ease her patient’s discomfort and obvious distress.

The young woman sighed contentedly as the cold moisture made contact with her slightly feverish skin.  A few drops of icy water rolled onto her cheeks and down her neck, making her shudder for a split second.  She could feel the grip of unconsciousness slowly closing around her and fought to keep her eyes open.  The nurse moved closer to her patient’s face to try and keep her focused.  She gently stroked her cheek and nudged,” Don’t leave me yet, sweetie.  I want you to tell me your name.  Can you do that for me?”

_“Name?  What is my name?  Why can’t I remember my name?”  _As the darkness started to take her, she desperately wracked her brain, praying she could come up with an answer before the blackness at the edges of her mind consumed her completely.  She was becoming frantic as she realized not only could she not remember her name, she couldn’t remember anything.  Fleeting images flew through her mind, ones she did not recognize.  _A long haired man, wind blowing through the long grass on a high hill, a silver ring_.  She had no idea what any of them meant.  Just as fast as the images had entered her mind’s eye, they were gone, leaving her feeling empty.   She dug into her psyche, burrowing deeper and deeper, begging her brain to let her have even one little kernel of information.  She could feel the shadows making their final tug at her, pulling her into oblivion.  _“Wait!  I have it!  I think my name’s…”_

She licked her cracked lips and croaked with her last ounce of strength, “R-raine.”  With all her power spent, her eyes closed and she slipped into the void of her unconscious mind.

The nurse, pleased with this small amount of progress, noted it in the woman’s chart and got up from the bedside to speak with Doctor Odine, who had just burst into the medical bay. 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX

Odine had thrown quite the temper tantrum upon entering the med lab, only to find that his test subject had slipped back into unconsciousness.  He screamed and yelled at the staff for not calling him sooner, even though they had done exactly what he had asked of them.  They all knew the diminutive doctor could be irrational with his anger at times, and all had learned to take it with a grain of salt.  After he calmed down, the nurse handed him the chart and with a soft tone to her voice, said, “She talked, Doctor.”

Odine pored over the chart, barely able to contain his jubilance.  “Astounding!” he bellowed.  “She retained ze memory of her name!  Who knows vat else she remembers?”

The doctor moved from the foot of Raine’s bed, chart still in hand, to her right side.  He tapped the cuff around her wrist and asked of the nurse, “Did she show any signz of violent behavior?”

“Not at all, doctor.  In fact, she was very confused about why she was restrained.”  The nurse studied the readout of her heart monitor before continuing.  “I don’t think she poses any threat.  She’s far too weak to try anything.”

Odine drummed his fingers on the restraint for a moment, then finally ordered, “I see no reason to keep her chained.  You may unlock her.”

The stout nurse nodded in agreement and pulled a set of keys from her uniform pocket.  She unlocked the restraint on the left hand, carefully detaching the cuff from its chain, then removing the chain from the underside of the gurney.  She gently rubbed the now exposed skin of the young woman’s wrist.  She proceeded to unlock both ankle cuffs, going through the same motions with the chains as before, and then moved around to the right side, where Odine stood.  Raine never even stirred.

“Excuse me, doctor,” she nudged, moving to unlock the final restraint.  When the shackles had been removed she addressed the small man, “Thank you, Doctor Odine.  I think this will help with her recovery.  She may be more willing to cooperate later because of this compassion you have shown.”  She placed the cuffs and chains in a crate hidden under the bed.

“Just make sure to observe her closely.  If she showz any signz of rezistance, do not hezitate to restrain her again,” Odine cautioned.”

“Of course, Doctor,” she promised.  “We will watch her like a hawk.”  She and Odine were quiet for a moment, as the doctor studied the various monitors gathered around the head of the bed.  Satisfied with the readouts, he looked back to the nurse to issue her new instructions.

“Next time she regainz consciousness, try az hard az you can to keep her awake.  Call me immediately.  I am very anxious to talk with her.”   As he walked out of the small room, the nurse overheard him mutter underneath his breath, “I vill not miss ze next opportunity to talk to her.”   She knew it would surely mean her job if he were to miss it again.

XxX  XxX  XxX  XxX

 

Odine received his wish within ten hours.  Raine once again came to, and this time stayed conscious.  She awoke to a much more alert state this time, and was greeted by the same caring nurse that had taken care of her since the beginning.  Strong but gentle hands brushed the hair from her cheeks and a calming voice soothed, “Well, hello again, Miss Raine.”  The nurse adjusted the bed to bring Raine to a more lounging position before fluffing another pillow and placing it behind the young woman’s lower back. 

“Better?” she asked?  Raine shifted her weight back and forth in her bed, and then conveyed her answer with a short nod.  She tried to swallow, but her throat felt like it was coated in sandpaper.  The nurse noticed her difficulty in swallowing, and offered her a glass of water from the bedside.  Raine accepted it and started to sip slowly.  The cool water felt like a pristine waterfall running down her throat, soothing and refreshing. 

“Don’t drink too fast, honey,” the nurse cautioned.  “We don’t know how your stomach will react to the water; it’s been a while since you’ve had anything to drink.”  Raine took one more mouthful of the liquid, and then handed it back to the nurse.

“Wh-where am I?” she finally managed, her voice faltering from lack of use.  “How did I get here?”

The nurse patted her leg through the thin blanket that covered her body and reassured, “Doctor Odine will be here soon to answer your questions.”  Raine looked to the nurse with a look of desperation in her eyes and pleaded, “Please tell me what happened!  Why can’t I remember anything other than my first name?”  Her eyes darted around the room, which was starting to darken with the approach of nighttime.  She tried desperately to pick out anything that might jar a memory, something that she recognized.  She could barely see a bluish glow emanating from the cracked blinds of the windows.  She wondered what could have created such a hauntingly beautiful light. 

She became very nervous, bordering on panicked, as she realized nothing in the room was producing any sort of memory.  She suddenly wanted to run: out of the room, out of wherever she was.   To where, she did not know-only that she wanted to be very far from this place. 

Doctor Odine barged into the small room, practically falling over his long robes in his effort to quickly make it to the lab.  “Ach!  You are awake!” he bellowed.  “I have so many queztionz for you!”  The impish doctor took a seat at the foot of Raine’s bed on a short swiveling stool.  Raine recoiled a bit as the doctor rolled himself towards the head of her bed, almost as if she were trying to get as far away from this mysterious man as she could.  He slapped his hands down upon his lap and began, “So, Mizz Raine, how are ve feeling today?”

She didn’t answer him; instead she studied him intently, trying to figure out just what his motives were.  When Odine didn’t receive a response, he asked again, “Mizz Raine?  Did you hear my question?” 

“Yes,” she answered in a quiet voice.  She had an unsettled feeling deep in her gut, a feeling of utter dislike for the small man sitting before her.  She didn’t know why, but something about him seemed insincere and untrustworthy.  She wanted to be far away from this man. 

“Mizz Raine,” Odine said again, this time a much more stern tone to his voice.  “Please answer my question.”

She swallowed hard, sensing the man’s demeanor was starting to change from patient to irritated.  She finally squeaked out, “I’m scared.”

Odine wrote her response down in a file he had grabbed from a nearby table and continued, “You have no reazon to be scared.  You are safe here.”

She was not the least bit comforted by his words.   She could feel the pent up emotions within her begin to swell, knowing it was just a matter of time before the dam broke. 

Odine studied her chart intently for a moment before speaking again.  “Vat do you last remember, Mizz Raine?”  he questioned, anxiously awaiting her response.  She looked down at her hands, which were clasped tight in her lap.  She started to tremble, feeling the tears start to sting the corners of her eyes.  Unable to hold back the impending outburst any longer, she blurted out, “Nothing!  I don’t remember anything!”  She dropped her head into her hands and sobbed uncontrollably.

Doctor Odine felt defeated.  He had hoped that because she had remembered her first name, that other memories had also been regained.  He could feel his impatience with the crying young woman growing, and her weeping made him uncomfortable.  With an exasperated huff, he threw his hands into the air and proclaimed, “Ach!  Zis crying will get us nowhere!”  He pointed to the nurse with a thin, bony finger and commanded, “Calm her down!  I cannot finish questioning her until she stopz zis blubbering!”

He turned to leave the room so the nurse could do as she was ordered, when a hiccupping voice sounded behind him.  “W-wait.  Please don’t go.  I have questions for you.”

The mousy doctor’s shoulders slumped as he turned to face her once again.  He detested having to deal with emotionally fragile people.  “You may ask,” he replied with a curt ring to his voice, “ _if_ you calm down.”

Raine took a few cleansing breaths at the nurse’s insistence, calmed herself down and immediately began to pummel the doctor with questions.  “Where am I?  Who are you?  How did I get here?  What happened to me?  Why can’t I …” She was stopped by Odine holding up one hand, while pinching the bridge of his nose above his glasses with the other. 

“One question at a time, Mizz Raine,” he said.  He once again took his seat on the stool at her bedside and began, “You are in Esthar and I am Odine.  I am a scientist.”

“Esthar?” she questioned.  She wracked her brain trying to find any morsel of information that may be buried about the strange name of the city.

“As for how you got here,” he continued, ignoring her questioning tone regarding the city, “You vere found on a train coming from ze Fisherman’s Horizon.  You were unconscious and feverish, and some good Samaritans brought you to us.  You had no identification on your person,” he lied. 

“I was sick?” she asked.  “With what?”

Odine pursed his lips and answered with a very short, “Trabian Flu.  Anything elze?”

“Yes!” she shot back.  “How did I get on the train?  Where did I come from?”

“I told you before, Mizz Raine,” a growing tone annoyance in his voice.  “You vere found with no ID.  Ve have no idea where you came from.  Zat is why it iz very important zat you try to remember something.”

He stood up and crossed his arms across his robes.  “I vill be back later.  Please try to remember anything, so we can…” he hesitated with a swallow and then proceeded to lie through his slimy teeth.  “…get you back to your family, wherever they may be.”  He tried to muster a fake smile in an attempt to seem somewhat sincere.

 She felt that she would never be safe if this man was around, and it frightened her that she could not discern why.  Everything about him was “off,” she thought.  His eyes were beady and darting behind his thick glasses.  She felt unsettled by the way he scurried around, like some sort of hyperactive rodent.  His tone of voice was condescending, as if he felt he was superior to everyone in every possible way.  She knew he was putting on a caring face just for her, in order to glean whatever information he needed, but in reality she felt as if he didn’t care about her one bit.  She felt like an experiment, but she could not put a finger on why.  She did the only thing that felt right at that moment, she just hung her head and gave no response.  Odine exited the room, a disappointed look on his face and sinking feeling in his belly.  He heard the sobbing start once again.  He hurried out of the med lab in order to escape the wretched noise.

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX

Two weeks passed, and still the woman from Winhill remembered nothing more about herself.  Odine was slightly pleased that she retained all of her life skills: she could read, write, take care of herself and interact socially with the small amount of people she was allowed to have contact with.  But what he was really after was the reclamation of personal memories.  Even though he had absolutely no intention of ever allowing her to return to her village, he still wanted her to remember, if only to show that his experiment truly had purpose.  He wanted validation for his accomplishment.  He didn’t just want to create a blank zombie; he wanted to be able to possibly give a life that had been cut short a second chance. 

After countless sessions with her yielded nothing more, Odine became disillusioned with the whole experiment.  The tiny man was easily distracted, and was already prepared to move onto another area of research that would be a more efficient use of his time. 

He had one more idea on how to possibly tap into hidden memories in Raine’s brain, and thankfully one of his colleagues could take over, since his interest was waning with each passing day.

Sitting in an oversized chair in his office, he pressed a button on the intercom and barked in the air towards the speaker, “Summon Doctor Ash!  I vant to see him immediately.”


	4. Phoenix Chapter Three

Phoenix: Chapter Three

 

_A giant Moogle wearing a cupcake hat was walking towards her at a brisk pace.  It stopped about ten feet from her on a crystal path.  It cocked its head and smiled.   “Would you like fries with your library books?” it asked._

_“No, thank you,” Raine replied.  Pouting at her answer, the Moogle dissipated into the air in the form of an iridescent fog, leaving her alone.   A bit confused, she continued down the path, passing by three trees in a row, each with metallic bark.  The trees emitted a high-pitched whine, all in perfect harmony with one another.  She enjoyed the strange melody; it reminded her of some sort of futuristic musical instrument._

_Suddenly, the scene changed, and she was plopped into a small market, filled with shoppers.  She immediately noticed that all the shelves were completely empty, save for the one directly in front of her.  It was stacked from top to bottom with bacon-flavored crackers.  Raine suddenly felt the urge to tear into one of the cracker boxes and devour the contents.  She just HAD to have those snacks.  She reached for the closest box and eagerly tore it open, salivating at the prospect of the salty snack inside.  Her hand dove into the box, and where she expected to find bacon crackers, she instead found hundreds of centipedes.  She screamed and dropped the box on the floor, spilling the insects from the package.  The box hit the floor and immediately caught fire.  The blaze quickly engulfed the remaining boxes on the shelf, spreading out in all directions, threatening the entire store._

_Raine noticed the shoppers were completely unaware of the flames, and continued browsing the empty shelves.  She frantically ran down the burning aisle, grabbing the first person she saw by the shoulders.   Shaking the woman, she yelled, “The store is on fire!  Get out!”_

_The woman looked up from the blazing shelf with vacant, hollow eye sockets. Raine gasped in horror at the woman’s appearance.  The shopper smiled politely at Raine, then went back to browsing the barren, burning shelves, without so much as a word.  She seemed not to care that the market was crumbling around her in flames.  Exasperated by the woman’s lack of urgency with the matter, Raine ran towards the exit and turned to face the oblivious shoppers when she reached the doors.  She placed her hands on either side of her mouth to amplify her shouts and screamed, “Don’t you people realize this place is burning down?  You’ll all be killed!”_

_At once, all the shoppers turned and looked in her direction with the same hollow eyes of the first woman, and all answered in unison, “We must wait for the manager to give us passage.”_

_Confused by the collective’s cryptic reply, she screamed in response, “What?!  Are you people insane?”  The ceiling started to cave in, showering the shoppers with embers and burning beams.  Raine turned back to the door, deciding to save herself and leave the foolish customers.  She tried in vain to pull the metal handles, which were quickly becoming quite hot from the heat of the approaching flames.  She begged to whoever could hear her, “Please!!  Help me!  Someone please open the doors!”_

_She could feel the searing heat of the encroaching flames as she collapsed to her knees, sobbing with fear.  As her clothes began to smolder, then burn, she felt all hope leave her body.  She was going to die.  She felt the flames lick her now bare skin, as her sleeves had burned away.  The flesh turned black and sloughed off as ashy cinders.  The bones of her arms were now exposed, along with her hands.  The flames started to eat away at her back, burning straight down to her spine in a matter of seconds.  She expected there to be ungodly pain, but there was none.   All that was there was the stench of her own crisp flesh.  Just as her hair began to singe down to her scalp, she found herself on a grassy hill, no longer surrounded by flames and smoke._

_She inhaled the fresh air, and the faint scent of wildflowers replaced the acrid stink of burning flesh in her nose.  The grass she was seated on was soft.  The motion of the wind-swept blades against her bare arms startled her.  She looked down at her limbs, and where she expected to find the charred remains of her arms, she instead found a bundle of blankets, nestled close to her chest._

_She carefully moved a corner of the light blue blanket and was greeted by the face of a sleeping newborn baby.  She stroked its cheek lovingly, as if she knew the child.  The baby stirr_ _ed and momentarily opened its eyes.  Ice blue orbs met with her own and she instantly felt an overwhelming sense of unconditional love for the child.  She began rocking back and forth in the tall grass, humming a soft lullaby.  The child closed its eyes and snuggled into the blankets.  Raine felt completely at peace in that moment, feeling as   if she could stay that way, in this place, forever.  She kept humming and rocking, stopping only once to bend down and kiss the baby on the top of the head, relishing in the clean scent of its soft brown hair._

_She looked up towards the sky, which was crystal blue and peppered with several fluffy fair-weather cumulus clouds.  As she closed her eyes, she felt the warm sunlight wash over her face.  She sat that way for several moments, never faltering with her rocking movements.  All of a sudden, she was pulled out of her reverie when the weight of the baby seemed to disappear._

_She looked down to her arms to find that the child was gone, leaving only a blood-soaked blanket in its place.  She recoiled in horror, flinging the blanket as far away from her as possible.  She looked at her hands, and was once again terrified to find that they were covered in blood.  She frantically wiped her hands on the grass, trying to cleanse them of the phantom blood.  When most of the wretched substance was gone, she crumpled sideways into the grass, sobbing into her still stained hands.  She felt totally empty and alone.  She longed to hold that baby again, and felt that she would do anything that was asked of her to get the chance to do so one last time.  She looked up to the sky, only to find that the weather had changed.  Storm clouds gathered and flashes of lightning lit up the now ebony sky.  A bolt of lightning struck a tree not far from her causing her to sit bolt upright from her fetal position on the grass.  The tree fell, igniting the grass, which had turned brown and dry right before her eyes.  The fire flew through the grass at an alarming pace, reaching her location within seconds.  The flames made a circle around her, closing in as the seconds ticked by.  Just as flames started to tickle her skin for the second time…_

_XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX_

Raine shot up in bed, entangled in the blankets.  She was drenched in a cold sweat that soaked right down to her undergarments.  She was shaking with fear _._

Her dreams had been vivid since she regained consciousness three weeks prior, but they always felt like just what they were—dreams.  Even though this one had started absurd like all the others, the ending felt all too real.  She desperately wanted to hold the child close to her again, feeling an attachment she had never felt before.  She felt utterly empty without it in her arms.  She buried her head in her hands and sobbed until her voice was hoarse.


	5. Phoenix Chapter Four

Phoenix:  Chapter Four

 

                Dr. William Ash strolled down the cavernous halls of Odine Laboratory with the Project Perfect Phoenix files tucked under his arm and a bounce in his step.  He had received a call from Odine earlier in the week requesting that he look over the files and then come to his office for an important meeting.  He was thrilled that the miniature doctor had called for him, as it seemed Odine had never paid any attention to him or his research.

Dr. Ash had been hired by the lab three years ago as part of a new Psychology Research Department.  As of that very day, he was still the only employee of said department.  He had a background in hypnosis, subliminal messaging and recovery of repressed memories.  When he had been taken on at the lab, he really had no idea why Odine would need someone like him.  He always assumed that the great doctor’s work delved more into monsters, machines and oddities.  He never in a million years would have thought that Odine would be interested in hypnosis or his field of study.  He plugged away through the years, researching various subjects on his own, occasionally asking his higher-ups when he was going to get an actual sanctioned project to work on.  “ _When Doctor Odine is ready for your services,”_ was the usual response.  So, like always, he kept to himself puttering at this-and-that, biding his time until he would be summoned by the great Doctor Odine.

As he approached the door to the office, he took a moment to straighten his tie and smooth out any wrinkles in his crisp white lab coat.  He took a deep breath, held it for a moment, and then exhaled in an attempt to calm what felt like Bite Bugs flitting around in his stomach.  He had never met Odine before, and wanted to make sure he didn’t come off as some blabbering idiot.  He raised his hand and knocked on the massive door.  A voice laden with a heavy accent bellowed from behind the behemoth, “Come in, Doctor Ash!”  He checked his cufflinks, straightened his wire-rimmed glasses and opened the door.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX

 

“Ach!  Right on time, Doctor,” Odine greeted.  “Punctuality iz very important.  Please have a seat.”  The miniscule doctor pointed to a medium-sized table made of blue glass, resembling many of the buildings in the adjacent city of Esthar.  There were several chairs encircling the table, each with the Odine Laboratory logo embroidered on the seat cushion.  As Ash approached the table, he scanned his surroundings.  The massive tinted windows looked out onto the barren, parched desert.  He could just barely make out the Esthar skyline in the distance.  He noticed the shelves on the immediate walls were cluttered with awards, plaques and certificates, commemorating Odine’s long legacy in the scientific community. 

His eyes then focused on the doctor himself.  Ash had never met the man in person, and only seen him from a distance.  He was amused by the doctor’s small stature, as he stood no more than five feet tall. He appeared frail and mousy, with big oversized glasses perched upon his pointy nose.  He found it a little funny that someone so powerful and foreboding could be easily taken over someone’s shoulder and carried away. 

Odine gestured to the files nestled under the younger doctor’s arm and began, “I see you have brought ze Project Perfect Phoenix files vith you.  I azzume you have gone through zem?”  Seating himself, Ash set the files down on the table and replied, “Yes Doctor, and I have many questions.”

“Your qvestions can vait, Doctor Ash,” Odine quickly responded, a snapping tone in his voice.  “Right now you listen.”

Slightly taken aback by the doctor’s abrasive response, but never willing to show his annoyance with the condescending tone of the tiny doctor’s reply, Ash took a small notepad from underneath the pile of folders and placed it on the table in front of him.  He retrieved the ornate gold pen his father had given him upon his graduation from medical school from his lab coat pocket and readied it, eager to take notes on whatever the renowned doctor had to say.

Odine waited for the younger man to ready himself before beginning, “I azzume you have read all her health detailz?”  Ash nodded in response.

“Good, zen I don’t have to go over ze basics,” he replied, relieved he did not have to go into her personal health records and waste time.   “Zis project vas begun as a vay to see if I could resurrect a deceased individual, zen re-integrate zem into society.  My ultimate goal vaz to be able to give families second chances vith lost loved ones.  Unfortunately, zis experiment did not pan out as planned.”

Odine rose from the table and turned his back on Ash as he made his way towards the wall of windows overlooking the bleak desert.  Contemplating whether or not to follow suit, Ash decided to stay silent and seated.

As he came within a foot of the panes of glass, the doctor began to speak once again, his voice quieter than it had been before, almost if in defeat.  “I’ll admit zat I can eazily become disenchanted by lack of progrezz, and sadly, zis project no longer interests me like it vonce did.  In all truth,   Mizz Raine’s inability to remember her past life experiences has annoyed me, and zat iz unacceptable.  Zat iz why I am handing primary and zecondary care of ze subject over to you, Doctor Ash.  I trust you vill not disappoint me.”

Ash cleared his throat and responded, “I will put all my time and energy into making progress on Perfect Phoenix.  I have been waiting for the opportunity to show you what I am capable of, Doctor.  After reading about this young woman, I really want to help her.  My ultimate goal is to reunite her with her family.”

Upon hearing Ash’s final goal, Odine whirled around on his heels and screamed, “No!!  Zat must never happen!!”  He scurried towards the younger man, robes swishing at his feet, coming to a stop at the table where he planted his hands on the tabletop and locked eyes with his young protégé.  “I am going to make myself very clear only once, Doctor Ash,” he commanded.  “You vill never reveal any specifics to Mizz Raine.  Ever!!”  At his last word, he pounded his frail looking fist on the glass top for emphasis.

Ash could only recoil in his seat at the abrupt turn in mood from the Doctor.  His temper was legendary; this was Ash’s first taste of it.  How such a little man could do such an about-face in mood was amazing.  He could see the fire seething in the older man’s eyes behind his massive glasses, his thin lips curling at the corners with passion.   “Az far az she vill ever know, she vaz found vith no ID on a train.  She must never know ze truth about her origins.  She must never know zat she vas resurrected.”

Ash started to speak but was cut short when Odine held up a finger to shush him and began speaking again. 

“Let me be clear, Doctor Ash.  I vant you to use any meanz you see fit to recover her memories.  But know zis,” he cautioned.  “I have no intention of ever returning her to her village.  She is mine.  Let her believe she vill go back someday, if you feel it vill help in recovery, but never forget who is still ultimately in charge of zis project.  You may have control now, but I vill always be in control of you.  If you ever tell her any information zat you have been instructed to keep secret, and I find out—and I vill find out- you vill be removed from ze project and vill be **_dealt vith._** ” 

The doctor’s last words hung in Ash’s ears, a chilling reminder of Odine’s legendary wrath.  The sinister tone in Odine’s voice unsettled him.  Odine had a menacing look in his eyes, and Ash knew right then and there that he meant business.  Not willing to show any signs of weakness, Ash stood, squared his shoulders and replied with a confidence in his voice he had never heard come from himself before, “I understand, Doctor Odine.  I can assure you that all precautions will be taken to ensure that she only knows what you want her to know.  I am honored to be working on this project and will strive to achieve astronomical results.   I am confident in my abilities.  I won’t let you down.”

Odine stood up straight from his hunched position at the table and crossed his hands behind his back.  “I vill hold you to zat promise, young Doctor Ash,” he acknowledged.  “Now zat we are clear with one anozer, ve can get down to business.”  He shuffled over to his desk and retrieved his copies of the Project Perfect Phoenix files before returning to the table and seating himself across from Ash once more.  Ash took his seat once again and waited for Odine to begin speaking. 

“Now Doctor Ash, I have gone through your perzonel filez and I see zat you have studied hypnoziz.  I feel zat at zis point our only option iz to attempt it.” 

Ash wrote a quick note on the pad in front of him before questioning his elder colleague.  “Has any sort of hypnotic therapy been attempted with her yet?”

“No,” Odine responded.  “I feel zat zis iz our last hope if ve are to have any chance of recovering anything from her mind.” 

Ash reached for a small glass of water on the table and took a sip, contemplating his next question.  “What exactly am I allowed to tell her and what needs to be kept from her?”

“You tell her nothing, Doctor Ash,” Odine responded coldly.   “She is never to know how she came to be in my pozession.  As far as she vill ever know, she came from a train and ve no nothing about her pazt.  Act surprised ven and if she rememberz anything.”

Noting the Doctor’s warning in his notes, he continued with his line of questions.  “What about her pregnancy?  Surely she will ask about it if she remembers.  What do I tell her then?”

Becoming slightly annoyed with Ash’s seemingly redundant questions, Odine replied, “Nothing, Doctor.  You tell her abzolutely nothing.  Whatever she remembers will be hers to try and figure out.  You are juzt here to get her to ze point of actually regaining her memoriez.  What she does vith those memories doez not concern me.  Juzt remember zat she vill never be returned to her village.” 

Ash decided not to push the subject any further and proceeded with his next line of questioning.  “I notice that she is still residing in a small hospital room within the complex,” he stated, looking at a particular page in the files.  “Is it possible that she could be moved to a more comfortable living space?  I think it would be beneficial to her treatment for her to feel as safe and sound as possible.  If she feels at home, and feels like she has a place to call her own, even if it is in the lab complex, she may be able to retrieve memories easier.  Personally speaking, I know I would feel more at ease in a homey environment than in a sterile, secluded hospital room.”

Odine scowled at the young doctor for a moment, not really wanting to let her out of her small confined room.  He liked her close and secured, so he could make sure she was watched at all times.  “Vat exactly did you have in mind, Doctor Ash?”  Odine questioned. 

“I took the liberty of going through the personnel records of the lab and noticed that there were several vacant employee suites on the premises.  I was hoping you would give the green light for her to move into one of the smaller one-bedroom suites,” the young man replied.

“You really think zat zis would help her in her recovery?” Odine asked. 

“I do, Doctor Odine.  My studies have shown that patients who feel comfortable in their surroundings have a much higher percentage of achieving recovery.  If she were more comfortable, she might be able to access those memories more efficiently,” he added. 

Odine pondered his request for several moments before responding, “As you vish, Doctor.  I vill send ze paperwork through to have her moved tomorrow.  She vill be given ze basic accoutrements for living, nothing more.  Furthermore, she vill not be allowed to leave her new accommodations unless it is to attend therapy sessionz, and even then it vill be vith accompaniment.  She vill alzo not be allowed any outside visitors, unless I perzonally deem it necessary, are ve clear?”

“That is acceptable, Doctor Odine.  Thank you.   I do have one more request of you, though,” Ash proceeded.  He noticed that Odine was becoming a bit antsy in his seat.  “I would like for her to have access to a television and any books she requests, as well as ones I feel she would benefit from.  I think it can be a great asset and could very well lead to memories resurfacing.  An image she sees on the TV or a passage she reads in a book may jog her memories.”

“Vatever you feel iz needed, Doctor Ash.  I vill see to it zat a televizion iz installed in her suite,” Odine replied.  “Now, anything elze?”

Ash considered his next words carefully before asking with a bit of apprehension, “What will happen to her if I am unable to help her regain her memories?  Will she be ever be allowed to leave the lab complex?”

Odine took a small handkerchief from somewhere within his robes and removed his glasses, which he proceeded to clean with the cloth.  Never making eye contact with his young counterpart, he spoke matter-of-factly, “Vat happens to her if you fail iz none of your concern, Doctor Ash.  All you need to worry about iz ze here-and-now.  Do your job with your best foot forward and with diligence and you need not vorry about an unvanted result.”  The small doctor finished polishing his eyeglasses and returned them to their perch on his thin bony nose.  He closed the file folders in front of him and rested his frail fingers on their top.  “Any more qvestions, Doctor Ash?” he queried.

Ash placed his gold pen back in his coat pocket and replied, “None that I can think of, Doctor Odine.  I want to thank you again for this wonderful opportunity.  I look forward to meeting Miss Raine and I hope to make some real progress very soon.  I plan on seeing her tomorrow after she is settled in to her new accommodations. “

“I vill look forward to your progrezz reports on ze project, Doctor.  Don’t fail me—I expect results from you,” Odine replied, shuffling back to his desk leaving Ash to see himself out. 

 


	6. Phoenix Chapter Five

Phoenix:  Chapter Five

 

                Dr. Ash had just poured himself a cup of coffee when he heard a knock at his office door.  He was expecting Raine for their first meeting.  Steaming mug in his hand, he opened the door and was greeted by a petite brown haired woman with huge blue eyes.  _“She’s stunning,”_ Ash thought to himself.  He had seen the pictures attached to her files countless times, but they did not do her justice.  She had her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail and was wearing a thin green t-shirt with the Odine Labs logo silkscreened on the chest, as well as plain khaki pants.  Obviously she had been given a simple and generic wardrobe by the staff.  Ash mentally vowed to remedy that.

“Raine, I presume,” Ash greeted.  “Please come in.”  The young woman crossed the threshold, stopping momentarily to look back at her escort.  “You can go now,” Ash instructed the young man.  “I’ll call for you when we are done with our session.”

 The chaperon rolled his eyes and grunted as he turned and made his way down the long hallway.

“Please,” Ash gestured into the room.  “Come on in and have a seat.  I want you to make yourself comfortable.”

“Thank you,” Raine said in a hushed tone as she entered the small, cramped office and took in her surroundings.  The room was little, with barely enough room for the doctor’s desk, a small loveseat shoved up against a side wall with a chair directly across from it.  A small wooden coffee table was sandwiched in between the two.  Ash’s desk was situated in the back corner, facing into the room so he could see out of the only window on the back wall.  A small cart with a coffee maker sat in the other corner.  There was no empty wall space, as every inch of the small room that wasn’t occupied by some sort of seat or table was lined with bookshelves, jammed with hundreds of volumes. 

Raine hugged herself, grasping her arms with her hands.  Sensing her obvious discomfort, Ash decided to break the ice.  “I know it’s small and cluttered, but it’s actually by design.  See, if I keep it this way, the cleaning crew refuses to even come in here for fear of being crushed by books and papers.  It keeps them out of my hair,” he said with a slight mischievous smile.

Raine mustered a faint grin. “It’s ok.  I’m used to small, confined spaces.”

“I’ll tell you what,” Ash suggested.  “Let’s have a few sessions in here, and then I’ll see what I can do about a change of venue every once and a while, sound good?”

“Sure,” she replied softly.

Ash motioned for Raine to sit on the small couch against the side wall and offered, “Coffee?  It’s not the best, though.”

Raine nodded while Ash filled a mug for her.  She accepted it and he took his seat across from her in a leather chair.  Raine eyed the lettering and whimsical design of a dancing golden chocobo on the vessel before chuckling and imploring, “Chuck’s Chocobo Corral?” 

Ash shook his head and grinned sheepishly, “Hey, it was free!  Gimme a break!”

Raine smiled and took a sip, noting that the doctor was right: it wasn’t the best coffee.

“Where are my manners?  I didn’t even introduce myself properly,” Ash began.  “My name is Doctor William Ash.  Doctor Odine wants us to work together on recovering your memories.”

“It’s nice to meet you, “Raine replied with a smile.

“Well, let me tell you a little bit about myself then,” Ash offered.  “I’m thirty-five, married to my job and I’m originally from Timber.  Do you know where that is?”

Raine took another sip of her coffee and answered,” I know of it.  Doctor Odine gave me an atlas to see if anything would jump out at me.  I don’t remember anything about the city itself, though.”

“It’s in Galbadia.  It’s a very industrial city, relies heavily on the railroad business to keep it afloat.  There’s also a great magazine published there, Timber Maniacs.  I’ll see if I can round you up a few copies. The city is full of very hard-working people,” he beamed, obviously proud of his roots.  “Anyway, I went to medical school in Dollet and moved here to Esthar three years ago after finishing my PhD.”

He picked up a small plate of assorted pastries from the table and offered it to Raine.  “Hungry?” he asked.

Raine shook her head and he put the plate down before continuing.  “My field of expertise is Psychology, with an emphasis on hypnosis, especially using it to access repressed memories or memories lost by trauma.  I also dabble in subliminal messaging.”

“How did you get interested in such a specialized field, if I may ask?” Raine questioned.  Ash was pleased that she was starting to engage more.

 “It’s kind of a funny story, actually.  When I was ten, my dad took me to see this magician.  The opening act was a hypnotist.  She started making the audience members do all sorts of strange things, like acting like chocobos, kissing each other, and saying all sorts of absurd stuff.  I was enthralled.  I don’t even remember what the magician did that day, to tell you the truth.  All I could focus on was that hypnotist.

“My parents bought me books about hypnosis when they realized how interested—no wait, scratch that—obsessed I became,” he admitted with a shy smile.  “I read everything I could on the subject and eventually realized that it was an actual science and so much more than just a parlor trick.  I decided right then and there, at the ripe old age of ten, mind you, that I wanted to learn how to do it properly.  You know, in a medical setting, so I could help people like you who had lost their memories.  And here I am.”

Raine looked straight into his eyes, almost as if looking into his soul. “Have you ever seen a case like mine?”

Ash sighed, “No.  Your case is very severe.  In the past I have worked mostly with patients who suffer from amnesia caused by head and brain trauma.  But I promise that I will do everything in my power and will use all of my knowledge to help you.”  He set his mug down on the small wooden table between them.  ” Are you willing to go under hypnosis?”

Raine closed her eyes for a moment and sighed before opening them and answering,” “I like to think that there are people out there somewhere who miss me.  Maybe I have a husband and children.  Whatever my life was before—good or bad—I just want it back.  I’ve never wanted anything so badly in my life; at least I don’t think so,” she admitted.  “So, to answer your question, I’ll do anything to get that life back, hypnosis included.”

Ash nodded his head and replied,” All right then, Miss Raine.  Let’s get started on your therapy.”  He reached for a file folder on the table that was adorned with one word:  Raine.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

 

“So,” Ash started.  “Before we get down to the nitty-gritty, I wanted to know how you like your new living arrangements.”

Raine’s face lit up with a small smile as she answered,” They’re wonderful.  I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that you had something to do with it?”

Ash placed a hand on his chest and answered, “I did and I’m glad you like it.  I felt that if you had a space to live in that felt more “homey”, that it may be easier for you to recall something.  I was hoping it would make you more relaxed.”

“I do feel more relaxed, thank you.  I actually can’t wait to use the kitchen and cook.  I may not remember any family recipes, but I think I can handle the basic stuff.  Do you think I could get a cookbook?”

“Of course you can have a cookbook.  I’ll have one sent by before the end of the day.”

Raine smiled gratefully and replied, “Thank you so much.  Who knows, maybe I’ll remember a regional delicacy from ‘wherever’.”

“I’ll make sure that you get any ingredients you need.  Just give a list to your escort and he’ll give it to me,” Ash offered.

Raine sipped her coffee and peered over the rim of the mug at the doctor, as if she wanted to ask more but was a bit nervous for requesting too much.  She took another drink and decided to press her luck.

“While we’re on the subject of lists, is it possible to add some new clothes to it?”  She tugged at the collar of her lab-issued shirt and continued, “These shirts are really itchy and the pants are just plain ugly.”

Ash chuckled a bit and responded, “Of course you can have some new clothes.  Just write down your sizes and a few ideas and I’ll make sure you get some new duds.” 

“Thank you again.  I don’t want to be a burden for asking so much,” she added.

“Nonsense, you are not a burden.  Anything else?” Ash asked.

Raine was happy that the doctor was so accommodating and that he seemed genuinely interested in her well-being.  The others, especially Odine, always seemed insincere and fake to her, and she never felt comfortable with any of them.  She felt safe with this man; comfortable telling him what was on her mind.

Ash readied his pen. “So, I know you’ve been asked all these questions about a hundred times before, but please bear with me—these queries are for my own chain of notes for your treatment.”

“Okay,” Raine replied, “I’m so used to answering repetitive questions it doesn’t faze me anymore.”

“So, dumb question first, do you remember anything about your life before coming here to us?”

“No,” Raine answered.  “Absolutely nothing, I remember waking up in that hospital bed, nothing prior to that.”

Ash scribbled some notes in her file and resumed his questions.

“Do you ever have vivid dreams, or dreams that recur?” he asked.

“All my dreams are vivid, Doctor Ash,” she commented.  “They don’t seem to make sense though.  As for repeating dreams, no.”

Ash kept writing.  ” How do these dreams make you feel when you wake up?”

Raine sighed before answering, “Confused, mostly.  I mean, they’re really weird.  We’re talking about giant Moogles, talking chocobos, bugs…”  She hesitated a moment.  “Sometimes though, I wake up feeling incredibly sad. Usually I can’t remember those dreams, but I did have a particularly vivid one a couple nights back that I still can’t shake.  I woke up so frightened and distraught.  It actually made me cry for at least an hour afterwards.”

Intrigued, Ash shifted in his chair and inquired, “Would you be willing to share your dream with me?  I might be able to help you decode it.”

“I guess it’s worth a try, isn’t it?” Raine replied.  She brought her legs up to her body and crossed them underneath her rear end on the couch.  She described the giant cupcake hat-wearing Moogle and the metal trees, all while Ash noted every detail, no matter how insignificant they may have seemed to Raine.  When she began to recount the part in the market, Ash noticed that she was becoming increasingly agitated and solemn.

“Those people in the store, you know, the ones with the empty eye sockets?” she described.  “They were so creepy.  They didn’t seem to care that the store was burning down around them.  Then they said something really strange.  When I yelled at them to get out, they just looked at me with those hollow eyes and they all said in unison, ‘We are waiting for the manager to give us passage.’”  Ash noticed that Raine actually shuddered as she said the phrase.  She was visibly upset by the dream.  He wrote down the passage and circled it on his notes.  “Who knows what that means, huh?”

She continued, “And the fire and heat, they were both so real.  I could feel the flames burning my skin, even though there wasn’t any pain with it.  I could smell the stench of my own burning flesh.  It was horrible.  I can still smell it, even though it wasn’t real.”

She finally came to the part of her dream where the scene changed and she appeared on the hill.  Her mood seemed to alter in that instant, and she became content and at peace. 

“All of a sudden I was on that grassy hill, and there was this baby in my arms,” she recalled, hugging her arms close to her body.  “I don’t know if it was a boy or a girl, but I felt so connected to this child, like it was mine.  I felt like everything was right with the world at that moment and I never wanted to let that baby go.  I sang and rocked and wanted nothing more than to stay in that place forever.”

Her face suddenly switched from content to distressed as she began to talk again, all the time Ash listening with intent and taking his notes.

“Then the baby was gone and I was left with a bloody blanket in my arms,” Raine went on, tears beginning to stream down her face.  “I felt like my heart was ripped from my chest.  My hands were covered in blood and no matter how vigorously I wiped them on the grass they just wouldn’t come clean.”  She was starting to shake now as her strength was leaving her body.  She put her head in her hands and began again,” Then the tree next to me on the hill was struck by lightning and started the grass on fire.  I felt like I didn’t care at all because that baby was gone.  I felt no reason to live without it.  Nothing else mattered.  The burning grass raced towards me and just before I was engulfed again, I woke up.” 

She sobbed then, wiping her eyes on her bare arm.  Ash handed her a box of tissues and completed his final notes while she finished crying.  She wept for a few minutes, and Ash let her pour everything out, as if he knew how long she had held those pent up emotions inside.  Eventually she calmed and spoke to no one in particular, “I wonder if I ever had a baby.”  She blew her nose into her tissue and sighed,” Sorry I got so emotional.  That dream just really got to me, you know?”

Ash leaned forward in his chair to make closer eye contact with her and gently spoke,” Never apologize for your emotions.  Emotions are what make us who we are and separate us from the fiends.  They just may be one of the keys to regaining your memories, and they are certainly nothing to be ashamed of.”  He sat back and continued, “Let it out.  Scream, yell, laugh, or cry— anything you need to do to feel better.”

Still visibly shaken from her ordeal, Raine sat quietly, sniffing occasionally and wiping her still leaking eyes.  She didn’t speak anymore, and Ash felt as if the session should come to an end.

“I think that’s enough for today,” he finally spoke after giving his charge a moment to compose herself.  “I have sort of a ‘homework assignment’ if you will.  I’d like you to keep a journal of your dreams and any thoughts you have that might seem useful to your treatment.  Even if it’s just daydreams, they may turn out to be useful.”  He handed her a pink spiral notebook.  “I hope pink is alright, I didn’t know what color you liked so I guessed,” he added with a small smile.  “I’d like to see you twice a week, if that seems alright with you.”

“That sounds fine,” Raine acknowledged, crumpling her tissue in her hand.  She accepted the notebook and set it on her lap.  She paused for a moment before speaking again.  “I just want to thank you for working with me, all the other doctors seemed to lose patience with me pretty quickly when I didn’t produce results for them.  I can just tell that you’re different.  I…” she hesitated.  “I trust you.”

Ash stood, with Raine soon following, tucking her new journal under her arm.  He held out his hand as if to shake hers.  She clasped his hand and he spoke as he shook, “I value your honesty.  I give you my word that I will do everything possible to help you get your life back.”  He felt a pang of guilt as he uttered that last sentence, as he knew that Odine would never allow her to totally regain her past life.  But, he needed her full trust if he were to succeed.  “I’ll call for your attendant now.”

When the young man arrived, Raine bid Ash farewell.  As she started to walk down the hall with the bodyguard, he called after her, “I’ll be sure to get you that cookbook by the end of the day!”


	7. Phoenix Chapter Six

Phoenix: Chapter Six

 

                Raine stood in the small kitchen of her suite, chopping onions for chicken stew.  Ash had made good on his promise a week ago and had produced not one, but six cookbooks.  She now had recipes from all over the globe, more than enough to keep her busy during the countless hours she was in her home.  She was only allowed to leave for her twice weekly therapy sessions.  The rest of her time was spent confined in her apartment.  Sure, she had a television, books and a new-found hobby of cooking to keep her occupied, but they were a poor substitute for human contact.  The only people she saw were Doctor Ash and her chaperon.

With her onions diced and set aside, she moved on to carrots and celery.  Cooking relaxed her, and it gave her time to muse about her former life, trying to find even the smallest morsel of information that could be locked away within her mind.  She methodically chopped the remaining vegetables and threw them into a large pot where she already had some chicken and potatoes browning.  She reached for a head of garlic, prying out four cloves with her fingernails.  She smashed each one with the flat edge of her knife before peeling them and mincing the cloves fine.  She tossed the bits into the sizzling pot and her nostrils were immediately tickled by the scent of toasting garlic.  The aroma made her mind cloud for a moment, and her brain wandered.  An image popped into her head, floating somewhere in between the real world of her kitchen and her inner thoughts.  A man with long brown hair and a goofy grin materialized in her mind.  His actions were very animated, waving his arms in the air as he commented,    _“Hyne, Raine!  Think ya got enough garlic in that?  That’ll sure keep the vampires away!”_

Raine exhaled sharply as the apparition disappeared from her mind, and she realized she had been holding her breath.  She was suddenly aware of a stinging sensation emanating from her left hand.  She looked down to see blood starting to ooze from a nick on her index finger.  Realizing she must have cut herself in her hazy moment, she grabbed a sheet of paper towel and applied pressure to her small wound.  The bleeding stopped rather quickly and after she made sure her in-progress stew would not burn, she went into her living room and immediately began to record a description of her vision in the journal Ash had asked her to keep.

She pried into her psyche, trying to recall every detail of what she saw in her mind before it faded completely.  The man had beautiful green eyes that reminded her of shining emeralds.  His smile was so big, so genuine.  In that brief moment, she could tell he was in love.  His voice was like a bell.  She felt an attraction to him she never remembered feeling for anyone before.  She wondered if they were a couple and wished she could know his name.  She was unable to make out any features of the area around the man, but something deep inside her felt comfortable there.  It just felt “right,” even if it was only for a few seconds.  

Raine made sure to note the smell of garlic cooking triggered the vision.  She wondered then if the images were just a figment of a hopeful imagination or a real memory.  She hoped for the latter.  Was this her boyfriend?  Husband? 

As she finished writing down the last details, the smell of garlicky chicken and potatoes began to permeate the small room.  She closed her journal and headed back to her steaming pot.  Raine couldn’t wait until her therapy session the next day when she could share her experience with her doctor.  Smiling at the lingering foggy image of the mystery man still floating in her mind, she added her own home-made chicken stock to the pot and covered the vessel before returning to her living room to wait for her creation to finish cooking. 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_“Hey Raine, c’mere for a second.  I wanna show you something.”_

_Raine followed the phantom voice into a small but cozy kitchen.  The vase on the table contained the most beautiful white flowers she had ever seen.  She could hear giggling coming from the adjacent room, the same direction she heard the voice emanating from a moment before.  The laughing seemed to come from two separate voices, a man and a child.  She cautiously started to round the corner, as if expecting to be ambushed.  As the child’s giggling got louder, the male voice warned, “Shhh, she’ll hear you!”_

_Smiling, Raine rounded the corner, just to have a giant black rubber spider thrown in her face.  As she batted at it, it fell to the ground, as did the two attackers.  A man {THAT SAME MAN!!!} and a small girl rolled around on the floor in hysterical fits of laughter._

_“Laguna!!” Raine screamed.  “Don’t throw things at me!  You’re not being a very good influence on her!”_

_The two paid no attention her as they continued to howl in delight.  Raine just stood here, hands on hips, shaking her head.  “Whatever,” she grumbled as she threw the spider toy at the man._

_“Man, Raine!  You’re no fun!!”_

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Raine jolted upright in her bed, a thin sheen of sweat covering her trembling body.  She put a hand to her chest, as if to try and calm her racing heart. 

_“That man again, it was him!”_ Raine desperately tried to grasp at the man’s name.  She knew she yelled it in her dream, but it was fading.  “ _Come on, Raine…think!_ ”

She whipped her journal open, ready to write down the man’s name, only to have it totally disappear from her brain.  “Dammit!” she yelled.  Frustration getting the better of her, she flung the journal against the side wall, along with the pen in her hand.  She flung one of her pillows for good measure and then looked at her clock.  4:56 am.  Realizing it was futile to stay in bed any longer; she rose and padded into the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. 


	8. Phoenix Chapter Seven

Phoenix:  Chapter Seven

                The knock on Ash’s door was frantic and impatient.  He opened it to find a flustered Raine, clutching her journal tightly to her chest.  Before he could even greet her properly, she blurted out, “I remembered something!”  She pushed her way past him into the room, seating herself on the loveseat.

“Well, hello to you too,” Ash chided.  Sensing his patient wasn’t in a playful mood, he decided not to jab at her further and seated himself.  Ash opened her file and began, “Please tell me what you saw.”

Raine’s face beamed as she opened her journal and began to relay her vision.  “You’re never going to believe it.  Not only did I remember something yesterday, but I also dreamt something too!” 

“Go on, please.”

“I was cooking chicken stew yesterday afternoon, and the smell of cooking garlic made my mind wander.”  Ash balanced the file on his lap as he wrote. “Made your mind wander?  Could you elaborate?”

”The image of a man came to me,” Raine began. “He was very handsome, with long dark brown hair and the most beautiful emerald eyes I have ever seen.”  Her face settled into a content smile, and she started to chuckle as she continued.  “He was kind of goofy, waving his arms around.  He was really animated with his actions.”

Ash wrote her account in her file, pen moving quickly to try and keep up with her excitement.  “Did this man say anything to you?”

Raine grinned.  “Yes!  He said, ‘Hyne Raine, ya got enough garlic in that?’  Then he said something about keeping vampires away.”

“The man knew your name?” Ash inquired.

“Yep, can you believe it?  I really felt a connection with this guy.  Even though the vision only lasted seconds, it seemed like I had known him for quite some time.  Almost as if I was in love, “Raine gushed.  “Then the vision ended and I realized I had cut my finger in my daze.  It really had me in la-la land.”

Ash finished his notes.  “I’m very intrigued by the fact that your memory was triggered by a scent.  They’re one of our best weapons when we’re trying to access memories.”

Raine interrupted him, “Wait!  There’s more.  I dreamt about him last night, but it didn’t feel like a dream.  It seemed so real, like it had happened to me in the past.” 

“Two visions in one day,” Ash commented.  “I think we may just be getting somewhere.  Please, tell me everything you remember.” 

“It started with this man’s voice.  He said he wanted to show me something.  I walked through a kitchen with the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen on the table.  I could actually smell them.  I made my way towards the room where he called from.  I could hear him laughing, along with a child.”

“A child?”  Ash diligently took his notes as he allowed his patient to continue.

“Yeah, I didn’t know if it was a boy or a girl at the time.  Anyway, I rounded the corner and this guy threw a rubber spider right in my face!”  Raine chuckled and shook her head.  “The damn thing was so creepy.  The two of them, him and this little girl, they were howling and rolling around on the floor laughing hysterically.  I yelled at him about not being a good influence on her, and—this is the part you’re not going to believe—I actually used his name!”

“His name?  That’s phenomenal!  What is it?”

Raine sighed.  “Don’t get your hopes up, Doc.  After I woke up I immediately went to my journal to write it down, but I had lost it already.  I was so pissed I threw my journal against the wall.”

Feeling a bit of defeat over her inability to recall the name, Ash decided to suggest a new course of action to his patient.  “I think this is the perfect time for us to try some hypnosis, while the dream and vision are still fresh in your mind.”

Raine set her journal on the table.  “Whatever you say, Doctor Ash.  What do I do?”

“It’s very simple and totally painless,” Ash answered.  “I’d like you to lay lengthwise on the couch, propped up slightly with the pillow next to you on the floor.  Are you comfortable with that?”

“Sure.”  Raine situated the pillow under her head and shoulders and settled into a reclining position.  “So, are you going to swing a pocket watch in front of my eyes or something?” she asked with a small chuckle.

Ash pulled the drapes on the single window, blocking the blaring desert sun out of the room.  “No, nothing like that.  The whole pendulum thing?  It’s just something hypnotists that perform use for flare.”

Ash sat again and scooted his chair closer to Raine’s head.  He took a small recorder from a drawer in the end table.  “Is it alright if I record our attempt?  It’s easier than taking notes, and it enables me to go back and listen later for the inflection and tone of your voice, and your immediate reactions to questions and situations.”

“Of course, whatever you need to do, Doctor Ash.”  Raine folded her hands on her abdomen.

Ash switched on the recorder.  “I want you to relax your body.  Think of a serene and safe place.  Focus on letting all the tension, worry, and anxiety melt away.”  Ash could see her shoulders droop as she sighed with content. 

“Now, I want you to concentrate on my voice as I count backwards from ten.  Whenever your eyes feel like closing, let them.  Ten…nine…eight…You should be feeling very relaxed.  Your breathing is tranquil and your mind is starting to wander.  Seven…six…five…go to that safe place we talked about.  You may feel like your body is beginning to float.  Don’t be alarmed.  Let yourself go into peacefulness.  Four…three…two…one…you are totally calm.  Ash waited a moment in silence to make sure Raine had settled into her hypnotic state. 

“Where are you?”  He asked.

Raine’s brow furrowed for a moment as she tried to discern her surroundings.  “I think might be in a house.  It’s during the day, there’s sunlight coming in through the windows.”  Raine’s speaking was very slow and deliberate, bordering on monotone.

“Do you hear anything?”

“No.  There’s no sound at all.  It’s like a muted television.  But I smell something.  I think it’s…it’s flowers.  Yes, flowers.  I’m sure of it.”

Ash was fascinated by her account.  Even though he had worked with countless patients during medical school and his residency, he ever tired of being in the thick of a hypnotic trance.  Every intricacy, every bit of minutia still riveted him every time.

Raine inhaled deeply, as if she was smelling the flowers in her vision.  “I love flowers.  These ones are so beautiful.  They’re in a cut crystal vase on a table.  It looks like a kitchen table.  They’re the most brilliant white color.  It almost seems like they’re glowing, like they’re creating their own light.”

“What else do you see?  Is there anyone else there with you?”

Raine was quiet for a few moments before she spoke.  “I...I think so.  I see shadows.  They look like they’re being made by people.  They’re moving.  It’s like they keep moving just out of range from me.”

Ash shifted in his chair and gave the recorder a quick glance, making sure it was still functioning.  “Try to follow the shadows.  See if you can catch up to them.”

Raine sighed deeply and Ash could see her eyes fluttering underneath her lids, as if she was looking around.  “I think they’re in the next room.  I can see the shadows on the wall.”

“Go into the next room.  Take it all in,” Ash suggested.

“It’s a big room.  I-I think it’s a tavern, or a pub.  I don’t think it’s open, though.  No one’s here.  Whoever made the shadows isn’t here, either.”

“What else do you see?  Can you make out anything that might give you a clue as to where you are?  Maybe a window you can see out of?”

Raine inhaled a deep breath and held it for a moment.  She exhaled through her nose before continuing.  “There’s a big wooden bar with a very ornate bar back.  The rest of the room has small tables all around.  There are vases on each one with those same amazing flowers from the kitchen.”  She paused for a moment, and shifted her hands on her abdomen.

“There’s a bank of windows along the front wall, and a door.  The door looks really big and heavy, and it has flowers carved into it.  It’s cracked open just a tad.  There’s sunlight filtering in through the opening.”

Ash took a sip of his coffee.  “Walk towards the windows.  Tell me what you see through them.”

Raine was silent for a few seconds, presumably because she was making her way towards the windows in her mind.  “The sun is really bright.  I have to shield my eyes to look through them.”  Ash noted on a small pad that she placed a hand over her eyes, as if she were trying to block out sunlight.  Suddenly, a confused look crossed her face.

“What’s wrong?” Ash asked.  “Do you see something?”

Raine’s brow deepened and she huffed.  “No.  I don’t see anything.  I’m looking out of the windows, and everything’s black.  No, wait…not just black like it’s night time.  It’s like…like there’s nothing.  It’s a void.”

Sensing Raine’s growing frustration, Ash decided to switch topics.  “Is it still silent?  Can you make out any sounds yet?”

Raine sighed and concentrated on her surroundings.  “I don’t hear anything.  There’s…”  Her breath hitched and she hesitated.  “Wait.  I hear something.  It’s very faint.  I…I think it’s footsteps.”

“Where are they coming from?  Can you follow them?”

“I’ll try.  It’s hard to hear them.  I think they’re coming from upstairs.  I see a staircase.  I’m going to go up.”

Once again, Doctor Ash could see Raine’s eyes scanning around under the thin skin of her eyelids.  “These stairs are really old.  They’re creaking under my weight.  I’m coming up onto the landing.  It’s a living room.  I think someone lives above this bar.  It’s homey.”

A small smile graced Raine’s lips.  “There’s some dolls scattered on the floor next to the staircase.  And a tea set.  I wonder where the child is.”

“What about the footsteps you heard?  Is there anyone there with you?”

“No, but…” she hesitated.  Ash noted that she had begun to nervously wring her hands together.  “Something’s not right.  I…I can smell something.  Something awful.”

“Where is the scent coming from?  Can you locate the source? Can you tell me what it smells like?”

Raine’s breathing became uneven as she answered.  “There’s a bed at the other end of the room.  I…I think someone’s in it.  They’re completely covered.  I think the smell is coming from over there.  It smells rotten.  Like someone left steaks out for a few days.”

“Make your way towards the bed, Raine.  Go see what’s there,” Ash suggested.

“I don’t want to.  The smell is overpowering.”

“I tell you what,” Ash compromised.  “Just go over there for a second.  Once you figure out what it is, you can retreat.”  He just _had_ to know who or what was in that bed.

“O-okay,” Raine agreed.  “Just for a second.”

She continued to wring her hands, and had an almost panicked look on her face.  Ash felt a bit guilty for putting her in obvious distress, but she had agreed to do anything to help with her treatment. 

“Oh, Hyne!  The smell is awful!  Please…please let me out of here!”  She had a desperate, pleading tone to her voice. 

“Tell me what’s in the bed.  Then you can go, I promise.”

“There’s something sticky on the floor next to the bed.  My shoes are slipping in it.”  Raine hesitated for a moment before a completely horrified expression appeared on her face.  “Oh Gods!  I think it’s blood!”

Raine was beginning to be unable to catch her breath.  “I don’t want to pull back the covers!  Please don’t make me do it!”

“A quick peek... That’s all we need,” Ash nudged.

Raine gasped in horror and began to sob as she spoke.  “Hyne!!  It’s…it’s me!  I’m dead!”  She put a hand over her nose and mouth, as if trying to block out the putrid stench of her vision. Gagging, she wailed, “My skin is rotting!  My eyes are gone!  Oh my God, there are worms and maggots everywhere!  They’re slithering out of my nose!  Please…PLEASE!!  No more!!  No more!!!”

Raine was thrashing about now, and Ash actually had to stabilize her position on the loveseat with his hands to keep her from tumbling off.  She was completely hysterical, sobbing and shrieking at the same time.

Ash gently began to soothe his patient.  “Raine, listen to my voice.  I need you to focus on my words.  I’m going to count backwards from five.  When I get to zero, you’re going to open your eyes.  Five…four…three…two…one…zero.”

Raine’s eyes shot open and she sat up lightning quick on the small couch.  Clutching her chest with one hand and her stomach with the other, she barely had enough time to moan, “I’m going to be…”

Ash thanked Hyne for his quick reflexes and produced a small trashcan to her just as she vomited.  When she finished, she wiped her mouth on her sleeve and turned to look at Ash.  Eyes puffy and swollen, and mucus dripping from her running nose, she blew out a hard breath.  “What the hell does that mean?”

Ash sat quietly for a moment, contemplating his next words very carefully.  He knew if he revealed any classified information to her, Odine could quite literally have his head.

 “I don’t know what it means, Raine.  In all my years doing hypnosis, I have never encountered anything like you just experienced.  I do think that you need to rest now, though.  I’ll go over the recordings and my minimal notes this evening.  I’ll try to have something for you by our next session.  If you want, I can give you a sleeping pill to help you rest.”

“That would be great.  I don’t think I can fall asleep on my own.  Not after that.  I can still smell the rotten stench.”  Raine shuddered and looked as if she might be sick once more.  She swallowed hard and put the trashcan back on the floor beside the couch.  “Could I have some water, please?”

“Of course.”  Ash rose and poured her a glass of the cool liquid from a pitcher on his coffee cart.  She accepted it and sipped cautiously.  “”I’ll call for your bodyguard.”

Raine sat up and hung her head.  She was till trembling, and her breathing was somewhat irregular.  Ash considered calling another physician to look her over before releasing her to her suite, but ultimately decided against it as she started to calm.

After summoning the chaperon, he sat next to her on the couch.  “You okay?”

Raine turned to look at him, her face drawn and her skin pale.  “Honestly?  No.  I haven’t felt that terrified since that first time I woke up in the hospital.  It was awful.  You can’t imagine what it’s like seeing your own decaying corpse.”  Tears began filling the corners of her eyes. 

A rough knock on the door signaled the arrival of Raine’s escort.  Ash extended his hand to Raine to steady her as she rose from the couch.  He took one of her hands and placed a small blue capsule in her palm.  “To help you sleep.”

Raine forced a smile.  “Thank you.”  

“Try to get some rest. Hopefully I’ll make some headway on our session recordings tonight and I’ll have some good news for you by next session.”  Ash opened the door and the stern-faced young man was standing there, ready to take Raine back to her apartment.  Raine merely nodded in Ash’s direction and followed the escort down the hall.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

                Ash sat in his dark office, the only light emanating from his desk lamp.  Files littered the desk, along with notepads and various scraps of paper.  His hand-held recorder was switched on and was running.

“…The vision was so intense, the subject actually vomited upon release from hypnosis.”  He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as he continued.  “I feel somewhat guilty not being able to tell her that her vision has real merit.  It’s a real manifestation of what her brain is trying to tell her about her past life.  I pray that the never makes the connection that she was actually dead for days.  I know she desperately wants an insight into her former life, but Odine was very clear with his instructions.” 

He paused for a moment to dunk a teabag into a steaming mug next to his recorder.  “I’m torn because I think I have formed a close bond with her.  She trusts me.  I so badly want to give her just a morsel of information.  I know it would help her to regain memories.  But I know if I revealed anything, not only could I lose her trust for keeping information from her, but Odine would have me pulled from the project—and who knows what would happen…to either of us.”

Removing the teabag from the cup and discarding it in the trash next to his desk, he took a sip of the tea, only to recoil as it burned his tongue and the roof of his mouth.

“Shit!  That’s hot!”  He immediately frowned as he noticed the recorder was still on, and had logged his obscenity.   Frustrated, he stopped the recorder.  Taking his burnt mouth as an omen that he should call it a day, he began to organize his notes to take home with him.  He switched off his lamp, leaving the scalding hot tea on his desk. 


	9. Phoenix Chapter Eight

Phoenix:  Chapter Eight

_Three years have passed and Doctor Ash and Raine have made no progress in recovering any more memories.  The early headway they experienced quickly waned.  Raine’s dreams became nothing more than absurd images in her sleep, and the mysterious long-haired man never appeared again.  Both doctor and patient became disillusioned.  Not willing to give up--or let Raine give up on herself--Doctor Ash pressed on._

_Raine came to feel very safe in the care of Doctor Ash and the lab.  She trusted Ash immensely, and felt like even though they had made little progress, he was still working for her cause.  Allowed to come and go as she pleased within the lab complex, she no longer needed an escort to her therapy sessions.  She was not, however, allowed to leave the buildings under any circumstances, per Odine’s initial instructions.   It had been almost three years since she had seen or had any contact with Doctor Odine, and that is just the way she preferred it._

_She had expanded on her hobby of cooking, delving into the worlds of pastries, ethnic foods and even candy making.  She cooked a meal for Doctor Ash once a month, testing out new recipes and ideas on him.  She had also taken up martial arts to keep her mind and body sharp, and had achieved an impressive skill level.  She read any books she could get her hands on, particularly history books and atlases, in hopes that something would jog her memory.  She also enjoyed the occasional romance novel, losing herself in the dreamy stories.  For the most part, she was content with her present situation, but still longed for the day when her memories returned and she could go back to her former life…wherever that might be._

_Doctor Ash and Odine still agreed that she must never know that she was resurrected.  Still, Ash yearned to be able to help more; give her at least the name of her village or some other little tidbit of information.  He knew that was a pipe dream.  Odine would never allow it.  Doctor Odine had all but forgotten about his once prestigious project and long ago moved on to other endeavors, leaving Ash and Raine to work by themselves._

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

                Raine lounged on her couch painting her fingernails.  The television was on, but she wasn’t paying much attention to it.  The images flickering on the screen were that of a cooking program.  A plump old woman was rolling out some sort of dough, going on and on about the importance of cold ingredients.  Raine glanced up every once and a while during her beauty routine, mentally noting that she would have to find the recipe for whatever the woman was making.  Raine preferred cooking shows and travel documentaries, hoping the latter would jog some sort of image from her brain.  She avoided the news, and gave up watching it almost immediately after she was given her apartment.  The world was too violent, she decided, and she didn’t much care for politics.  She didn’t even know who the President of Esthar was.

She methodically brushed the soft pink polish on her nails, taking great care to make sure the coat was even.  As she was finishing her last finger, she bumped the remote control with her wrist, and it fell to the floor. The impact changed the channel.  Raine scowled and swore under her breath, as she realized she would not be able to pick up the device and change the station back without smudging her nail color.  She huffed a stray lock of auburn hair from her eyes and focused her attention once again to the task at hand.  Disappointed to realize she was now on the news, she made an effort to focus on her task and ignore the program.  Humming softly to herself, she began to paint her petite toes with the same rosy color.

 “…And in other news, Doctor Odine is scheduled to make his annual science report to the President this morning…”

Raine paused for a moment and looked up at the mention of the tiny doctor’s name.  She wanted to see what Odine looked like now, as three years had passed since their last encounter.  “Still looks creepy,” she muttered.

Raine was just about to resume her task as the newscaster continued.  “This year President Loire has a luncheon planned after the meeting to commemorate Doctor Odine’s twenty years of service to Esthar.”

As if in slow motion, the news footage of a man who didn’t look very presidential at all appeared on the screen.  He was wearing an obnoxious floral shirt and rumpled khaki pants, and had the goofiest grin on his face.  Raine held her breath at the sight of the man. In an instant, she knew who he was.  She dropped the brush, still covered in lacquer to the table and fumbled around on the floor for the remote, her newly painted nails forgotten.

“Volume!”   She mumbled as she mashed the sound higher.  She ran to the television set so she could see up close.

There he was, smiling and shaking hands with some dignitary, using those same hand gestures and beaming with happiness.  Directly under the video footage was a name:  President Laguna Loire.

Raine gasped and clapped her hands over her mouth.  She began to jump up and down.  “Laguna Loire,” she whispered into her hands.  One of her hands migrated up to the side of her face, where her long hair was let down.  She nervously started to twirl a lock between her fingers as the images of the president captivated her.  She desperately wanted to hear his voice, to make absolutely sure it was him, even though she knew in her heart of hearts that it was.  “Laguna Loire!” she finally screamed, clapping her hands.  “LAGUNA LOIRE!”  She was sobbing uncontrollably now, not out of sadness, but sheer joy.

She continued watching, concentrating her gaze on the man moving on the screen.  She drank in every detail of him, wanting so badly to touch him just to allow herself to see that he was real and she wasn’t dreaming.  Tears flowed from her eyes, making it difficult to see the broadcast clearly.  She wiped them when the station went to commercial.

She ran towards her door, not bothering to put on shoes.  She didn’t even care that she was still wearing her pajamas.  Flinging the door open, she nearly collided with a scientist in the hallway as she darted out.  She excused herself and ran away, her bare feet slapping against the cold tiles of the passageway.  She pushed her way down the hall, leaving bemused workers in her wake, who weren’t used to barefoot, pajama-clad women running wild within the lab complex.

Moments later, she arrived at Ash’s office door and began pounding as if her life depended on it.  “Doctor Ash!  Open up, it’s important!”  She banged the door until her hands began to hurt and she started to wonder if he was even there.  Passers-by gave her strange glances, but she carried on, knocking frantically.  “Ash!  Are you in there?  Open the…”

As if she willed it, the door opened and before the doctor could ask what the commotion was about, Raine blurted out, “Laguna Loire!”  She jumped up and down with sheer excitement, clapping her hands together in a furious cadence.

“What are you talking about?”

She ceased her jumping and grabbed Ash by she shoulders, startling him.  “Laguna Loire!  The President!  It’s him!”

Confused, Ash ushered her out of the hallway, where passing scientists were giving them suspicious looks.  When the door was closed behind them, Ash began to try and sort things out.  “Okay, calm down for a minute.  Start at the beginning.”

Raine was too excited to sit and chose instead to pace back and forth in front of Ash’s desk.  “Laguna Loire is the man from my dream!  The one from three years ago?  He threw the spider in my face!”

Ash was consumed with instant panic.  If she was right, and the man in her vision was indeed Loire, this could spell disaster for both himself and Doctor Odine.  If Laguna were somehow related to her, he thought, then he would surely be enraged when and if he found out about Project Perfect Phoenix. 

“Are…are you sure?”  Ash asked with a shaking voice.  He prayed Raine was too excited to notice growing panic in his tone.  He cleared his throat, and composed himself as best as he could.   “That’s incredible!”  He was trying so hard to pretend to be excited.

Raine stopped pacing and went to the window, gazing towards the gleaming city on the horizon.  “Oh yes, I’m sure! I was watching TV and painting my nails, and I bumped the remote and it accidentally changed the channel.  I didn’t bother to turn it back because I didn’t want to smudge my polish.  It turned to the news and I really wasn’t paying attention.  I only looked up when I heard Odine’s name.  They were talking about the science conference.”

Ash began to pace the length of his office, nervously wringing his sweating hands together.  He hoped she wasn’t attuned to his change in mood.  He felt flushed and clammy at the same time and his panic was growing with each word she spoke.

“Then I saw him.  I had to catch my breath…seeing him sent chills up my spine.”

Her next words almost made Ash sick to his stomach.  “I have to meet him!  What if he’s been searching for me all this time?”  She turned to face Ash, surprising him out of his uneasy pacing.  “Oh my God, what if he’s my husband?”  He took note that her face was glowing with excitement.

Ash quickly composed himself, attempting to erase any sign of anxiety from his demeanor.  He extended his hand to Raine and ushered her to sit in a chair in front of his desk.  “Now, just calm down.  We can’t be hasty.”  Ash seated himself behind the desk and powered on his computer.  “We can’t just go barging into the President’s office like crazy people, raving about how you _might_ know him.”

Raine’s exuberant expression began to wane. 

“Let me do some research and consult Doctor Odine,” Ash continued.  “Then I’ll need to go through the proper channels to request an audience with President Loire, if—and I emphasize _IF,_ Doctor Odine feels that is the appropriate course of action for the moment.”

“Can’t you at least contact his office and ask if he recognizes my name?  Or maybe send a photo for him to look at,” Raine suggested.

Trying to remain professional as his fear mounted, Ash removed his glasses and set them on a stack of files.  “Raine, I know how excited and hopeful you are, but we aren’t talking about some average Joe here.  This is the President of Esthar.  We have to go about this by the book.”  He hoped he was coming off as sincere. 

Raine hung her head slightly, her happiness starting to deflate.  “Okay.  I know you’ll do what’s best for me.”  Ash felt a tug at his heartstrings, hearing the genuineness in her voice.  “I just can’t help but be excited, you know?  I mean, what if this means I get to go home?  Or start a new life here with Laguna!”

Ash could feel a bead of sweat run down the back of his neck and into his shirt collar.  “All right now, go back to your apartment and don’t say a word about this to anyone.  Understood?”  His tone was very commanding and forceful, something Raine had never experienced from him before.  “We don’t want any rumors started about the President.”

_And we don’t need his Science Ministry poking around here._

“Okay, Doctor Ash.” 

“Stay in your suite until I contact you, okay?  Maybe you could bake a cake,” he suggested with a forced smile.  He felt as if he was going to vomit.

Raine rose from her seat and approached the door. Hand on the knob, she turned to face Ash.  “If this turns out to be real, and I do know him…I’ll never be able to thank you enough for all that you’ve done for me.  You’ve taken care of me all these years…kept me safe.  I could never repay you.”

Ash’s stomach churned.  If this did turn out to be real, he knew that she would never be allowed to reunite with Loire.

That would break her heart.

She smiled gratefully and put a hand on her chest, over her heart.  “I’m gonna go back and watch the news some more.  Maybe I’ll see him again.”  She paused while a thoughtful look washed over her face.  “Who would have thought…all these years I have spent avoiding the news because I thought the world was too violent.  And all this time, he was probably on every day.”  She opened the door and disappeared into the hall.

The door closed behind her and Ash instantly felt bile rise in his throat. Worst case scenarios started flooding his brain.  What if Laguna had them imprisoned for the project?  What if they were to be executed for crimes against humanity?  He had to contact Odine.  Ash scowled when he realized that the doctor was meeting with the man who unknowingly held their fate in his hands.

He decided to compose what he was going to say to Odine and started jotting down notes.  He dialed his phone and put it on speaker, to keep his busy hands free.   A young bubbly woman answered.

“This is Doctor William Ash.  Yes, I know Odine is out of the office.  The minute he returns, tell him I need a meeting with him.  It’s an emergency.”


	10. Phoenix Chapter Nine

Phoenix: Chapter Nine

 

                “One more picture please, Mr. President!”

Laguna Loire and Doctor Odine paused for photos in front of the ornate doors to the Presidential office.  They shook hands for pictures as Laguna flashed his world-famous smile.  Odine merely grimaced as the camera flashes blinded him. 

When the flashbulbs stopped, reporters crowded in for a quick question and answer session.  “Doctor Odine!  What projects are you planning on briefing President Loire on?  Will there be any updates on the power supply problem in the East District?”

Odine squirmed at the reporter’s query.  He hated being in the spotlight.  “I am sure ze Prezident’s office vill issue a press releaze after ze conferenze.”

“Mr. President!  Do you plan on asking Doctor Odine about the sealing system on Adel’s tomb?  As you are already aware, there are many people still worried that this containment vessel will actually hold.”

Laguna smiled broadly.  “Adel’s tomb is safe as can be.  There is no need to worry about any part of it failing.”

A presidential aide stepped in front of the two men.  “No more questions!”  Two more aides opened the massive doors, and Laguna ushered Odine inside before turning and waving to the crowd of reporters, a huge smile gracing his face.

The doors closed behind him, leaving the two men alone in the office.  Laguna motioned for Odine to take a seat in front of his desk, which was littered with papers, files and various bric-a-brac.  Laguna shuffled some papers around sheepishly, attempting to quickly tidy up.  “Uhhh, sorry about the mess, Doc.”  Odine noticed that he nervously scratched the back of his neck while speaking.  “How’s about some coffee?”

“No.  Thank you, Mr. President.”

“Please call me Laguna!  ‘Mr. President’ makes me feel old.”

Odine sat, stern faced.  “I prefer formality, Mr. President.”

“Uhh, okay.”  Laguna came around the front of the desk and sat on the corner.  “So, what about that power problem?  Those poor people are really suffering.”

Odine opened a file binder he had prepared for the meeting.  He flipped through the pages, many earmarked with labeled tabs.  Finding the one he sought, he looked up meet the President’s eyes.  “Ze power grid ugradez are coming along az scheduled.  Ve should be able to reztore full power vithin ze month.”

“Good!  I was starting to worry.”  Laguna scratched his neck again.  “Adel really destroyed that district, and the residents are really in dire straits.  I just want everyone to be happy…and you can’t do that without enough power to run your washing machine and TV, am I right?” 

Odine pursed his lips as he continued to go through his notes.  “Ze tomb of Adel iz functioning at one-hundred perzent.  Ze auxiliary power generatorz are on standby and vill activate ven and if zey are needed.  Adel’s brain activity remainz nil.”

Laguna breathed a sigh of relief.  Even though he had personally overseen every aspect of Adel’s containment, he still worried every day that the mechanism would fail and she would bring her terror back to Esthar.  “Good!  That witch deserves to be frozen up there forever!”  For emphasis, Laguna pumped his fist into the air.

The two men sat, Odine in his chair and Laguna teetering on his desk, for twenty minutes.  Odine filled the President in on all of his scientific projects.  All that is, except for the non-sanctioned ones.  Most of Odine’s experiments were in the public domain, but he did have his secrets.  One of Odine’s main reasons for having projects out of the public eye was that “regular people” usually didn’t understand strange ideas, and they generally didn’t like experiments having to do with the occult, death or, in the case of Perfect Phoenix: resurrection.  Odine had always provided his own funding for such projects, and thus never felt the need to tell the Science Ministry about them.  He didn’t need them poking their noses in his business.

As Odine neared the end of his update, he noticed Laguna was beginning to fidget and lose interest.  _“How a man so young and inexperienced could become President is beyond me,” he thought._ Odine closed his folder and set it on his lap.  “Do you have any more questionz for me, President Loire?”

Laguna, who was absent-mindedly spinning a pen next to himself on the desk, stood and cleared his throat.  “Umm, no Doctor.  You don’t miss a beat, do you?”  Odine merely stared at Laguna, not knowing exactly how to respond.  Feeling a bit awkward at Odine’s silence, Laguna put his hands on his hips and exclaimed,   “We should get goin’ to lunch!  I hear they made Chimera steaks!”  Laguna patted his stomach with delight.

Odine stood and straightened his robes. It was out of the corner of his eye, that a photo on the President’s desk caught his attention.  It was a young woman with brown hair and a joyous smile.  Odine adjusted his glasses to bring it into clearer focus.  It was then that, for the first time in his life, Odine felt completely panicked.  The smiling face staring back at him was that of Raine Leonhart.

Odine felt his face flush and for a moment he felt as if he might faint.  He immediately began to sweat underneath his heavy robes.  He willed himself to calm down, for he didn’t want the President to catch on to his mounting anxiety.  _“It haz to be a coincidence.  There’s no way it can be her,” he inwardly mused._

With a slight shake in his voice, Odine questioned Laguna, “Mr. Prezident, if I may ask, who iz zat?”  He pointed to the picture. 

Laguna turned to look at what Odine was alluding to.  A small smile graced his lips when he picked the silver frame up.  Odine noted that his eyes betrayed his smile, as they hinted to some sadness in his life.

“That’s my late wife, Raine Loire.”  Laguna traced his finger down the side of her face. 

Odine fiddled with the folder in his hands.  “I’m sorry, President Loire. I did not realize you had lozt your wife.”  He was trying his hardest to hide his terror within his condolences. 

Laguna sighed and returned the frame to its spot on the desk.  He turned to face the tiny doctor.  “It’s okay.  It isn’t exactly public information.  I like to think that she’s lookin’ down on me from wherever she is…keepin’ an eye on me…makin’ sure I don’t mess something up. ”   In an attempt to change the subject, Laguna threw his arms into the air and exclaimed, “Let’s hit that luncheon!  I don’t know about you Doc, but I’m starvin’!”  He slapped Odine on the back, causing the miniscule doctor to lurch forward. 

The luncheon.  In Odine’s current state of panic, he had completely forgotten about the celebration.  With this new information, he had to get back to the lab and figure out how such an egregious mistake had been made.  If the President were to ever find out about Project Perfect Phoenix, Odine’s career, not to mention his life, would certainly be over.

“Mr. Prezident, I am sorry but I must decline ze lunch invite.  I juzt remembered zat I have an appointment zat I cannot miss.  I hope you understand.”

Odine bowed to Laguna and scurried towards the door, letting himself out and leaving the President standing alone in his office, very much confused.  “But there’s cake…” he called out as the door slammed shut.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Odine rushed to his waiting car where he immediately contacted the lab.  The poor young man that answered never knew what hit him.  Screaming almost unintelligibly, Odine raved, “Get me every file pertaining to Project Perfect Phoenix!  I vant it all vaiting for me ven I arrive!  Cancel all my appointmentz for ze rest of ze day.”  He held on to the door handle as his driver took his turn a little too fast.  “And summon Doctor Ash!” 

 


	11. Phoenix Chapter Ten

Phoenix: Chapter Ten

                Odine arrived back to his lab within twenty minutes, and as requested, the Project Perfect Phoenix files were waiting for him.  He pored over the information, looking for any small detail that had been overlooked.  Everything seemed to check out:  protocols for picking up and delivering the specimen, background checks on the agent, Barclay, even sweeps of the village in the weeks after to make sure there were no suspicions.  Nothing was amiss, and Odine grew angrier by the moment.  Of all the mistakes to be made, an intimate relationship to the sitting President of Esthar had to be the biggest.  Frustrated, Odine tossed the papers in his hand carelessly on his desk and activated his intercom.  He pounded his fist on his desk as he barked into the receiver.    “Contact Mr. Barclay in Winhill!  I vant to speak vith him immediately!” 

“Y…yes, Doctor Odine.  I’ll get right on it,” his secretary responded.  “Oh, and Doctor Ash has just arrived.”

“Send him in, and do not dizturb uz unlezz you get ahold of Winhill.”

The intercom went quiet just as Odine’s office doors opened, producing Ash.  “Cloze the doors before ve speak, Doctor Ash.”  The younger doctor obeyed and shut the doors behind him. 

The younger doctor had a pale face and appeared quite nervous.  “Doctor Odine!  I think we have a significant breakthrough, but…,” Ash hesitated, his brain not quite willing to finish his sentence.  “…It may prove to be a very troublesome problem.”  He stood just feet inside the office, almost as if afraid to approach Odine any further. 

“Mizz Raine is Loire’s wife,” Odine retorted.  The small doctor sat, unmoving, behind his desk, with eyes glued to the man trembling at his door.

Ash nearly dropped the files he had brought with him as all the color drained from his face.  “I was so afraid of that.  But, how did you know?”

Odine rose from his seat and began pacing back and forth along the length of the desk.  “I saw her picture on ze Prezident’s desk zis morning.  He said her name vas Raine _Loire_ , and zat she vas dead.”  Odine wasvisibly shaking now, revealing a side of him no one ever saw. 

Ash seated himself just as he began to feel lightheaded.  He saw his career flash before his eyes.  Everything he had worked so hard for now teetered on the brink of destruction.  Panic was beginning to get the better of him. 

“Vait,” Odine suddenly interjected, pointing a bony finger at the young man.  “How do you know zey vere married?” 

Ash turned his head, which had been avoiding Odine’s gaze, to see that the doctor was staring him down.  “I didn’t,” he replied softly.  “At least, not before now.”  He blew out a long breath, in an attempt to calm his nerves.  “She saw him on television this morning, and came to me right away.  She doesn’t realize their relationship, but she seemed very hopeful that it was something intimate.  She even wondered if he might have been her husband.”  He put his head in his hands, feeling the sweat start to bead along his hairline.  “She wants to meet him,” Ash whispered, hands muffling his voice.

“No!” Odine bellowed.  “She muzt never come in contact vith him!”  Odine’s face began to redden, with both anger and fear.

The young doctor stood and moved towards Odine, stopping him in his pacing tracks.  “We both agree that Loire must never find out she’s alive.  Right?”  Ash was almost pleading.  He wanted to make sure Odine realized the gravity of their situation.  “If he finds out that she’s alive, he’ll put us in prison, or…or…he’ll execute us!”

“Of course he muzt never find out, you idiot!” Odine barked.  “You must control yourself, young Doctor Ash.  Ve need to come up vith a plan, and ve cannot do zat if you are frenzied.”

Ash’s shoulders slumped as he returned to his seat.  He took a few cleansing breaths and swallowed what little saliva he had in his dry mouth.  “What do you suggest we do?”

“It is simple, ve need to make her forget all about President Loire.”

He shook his head.  “There’s no way she’d ever forget him now, she’s determined to meet him.”  Terror swept over Ash as began to mumble, “Oh Hyne, what are we going to do?”  He rocked back in forth in the chair, like a frightened child.

Odine started his pacing again, his robes swishing against the polished tile floor.  Moments of silence passed while Odine pondered their next move as Ash continued to sway in his seat.   An evil smirk graced Odine’s lips as he finally proclaimed, “Ach!  I have it!”

Ash looked up from his position, his face devoid of color.  He was on the brink of hyperventilation.  “It’s no use.  Nothing will save us.  He’s going to find out and, and…and…”

“Shut up, Doctor Ash!”   Odine scurried over to the quivering younger man and sat in the adjacent seat.  He leaned in closer and addressed Ash.  “She can’t meet a dead Prezident.”  His words were very clear and deliberate. 

The younger man’s jaw dropped.  “Doctor Odine, you can’t be serious.  You’re talking about…” he quieted his voice to just above a whisper.  “…about assassinating the President.” 

Odine looked at him as if he were insulted by his remark.  “I mozt certainly am not, young Doctor Ash.  Don’t miztake me for such a fool.”  Odine adjusted his glasses.  “But vat iz to stop us from convinzing Mizz Raine zat he haz been killed?”

Ash couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of Odine’s plan.  He immediately regretted his decision, as Odine abruptly slapped him across the face with a bony hand.  “NEVER laugh at me again!”

Shocked at Odine’s physical outburst, Ash rubbed his stinging cheek.  He contemplated running at that moment; grabbing Raine and taking her directly to Loire.  If he produced her, he thought, perhaps the President would show some mercy on him.  He could blame it all on Odine.

“Doctor Ash!”

Ash snapped out of his thoughts as the great doctor’s harsh tone brought him back to awful reality.  He knew he couldn’t run.  Odine’s goons would take him into custody before he even made it to Raine’s doorstep.

“And how do you propose we convince her?  She’ll know we’re lying the minute she sees the news.”

Odine snorted with disdain.  “You vill tell her newz of the assassination tomorrow.  Make sure your story is believable.  I vill take care of ze rest.  I plan on removing all live televizion broadcasts from her cable feed.  She vill never vatch anozer newscast again.”

“What about the staff here?  Surely we can’t expect them to play along with the ruse.”  Ash was glaring at Odine with suspicion. 

The sinister look was once again creeping into the doctor’s eyes.  “You vill sever all ties vith zis lab.  You and Mizz Raine vill leave ze premizez.  I vill make sure you are compenzated and have a place to live out your dayz.”

Ash snapped.  The calm and somewhat timid doctor that once inhabited his body was gone, replaced by a raving, furious being.  Enraged, he flew up out of his chair and grabbed Odine by his oversized collar, easily lifting the featherweight doctor out of his seat and into the air.  His feet dangled a few inches off of the ground. 

“You can’t do this to me, you slimy rat!”

Despite the fact that he was suspended off of the ground, Odine kept his cool.  “Oh, I most certainly can, Doctor Ash.  Who vill believe anything you have to say over my word?  Now, put me down.” 

Ash’s lips began to curl with anger and he briefly contemplated squeezing his hands around Odine’s neck.

“All I have to do is scream, and my assistantz vill rush in, and _end your employment,_ ” he emphasized, calmly.  The doctor’s thin lips curled into a venomous smile, waiting for Ash’s response. 

He ripped his gaze away from Odine’s miserable face and it settled on the floor as he let the frail doctor drop to the ground.  Ash then fell to his knees in defeat, as he knew he could never win against the legendary doctor.  Odine stood in front of him, placing a bony hand on each shoulder, asserting his dominance.  Ash kept his head hung.

“Now, young Doctor Ash, you vill return to your office and plan your story to Mizz Raine.”  Odine kept pushing his shoulders down with surprising strength, keeping Ash from rising.  “Know zat by ze time you arrive to your office, your phone lines vill be tapped, so zere iz no use in calling for help.  My men vill be vatching you.”  Odine released Ash’s upper body and the young man stood.

“Tomorrow morning, you vill inform Mizz Raine of ze Prezident’s… _unfortunate demize_ …and zat you two vill be leaving ze lab later in ze week.” 

The young man felt the urge to strike Odine across the face, as his hands balled into fists.  “What the hell do I tell her about why we’re leaving, huh?”

“She trustz you, Doctor Ash.  She vill do vatever you say.  Tell her zat ve need to make room for new projects and zat you both are moving to a new facility.”

Ash gritted his teeth.  “And where the hell might that be?”  His fury with the doctor was growing by the second and he didn’t know how much longer he could contain himself before flying off the handle. 

“You vill go to ze old genetics lab near Lunar Gate.  It vill be readied for your arrival.  Zat vay, you vill be far enough avay from Esthar zat ze President vill have no course to ever look for you.  It vill be like you never even existed.”

In the course of one day, Ash had gone from an established research physician within Odine Labs to a pariah, cast out into the desert with nothing.  “And what if I refuse to play your little game?”  He clenched his fists so tight that the nails dug into his palms. 

Odine smiled, baring crooked yellowed teeth.  “You die, Doctor Ash.  Plain and zimple.  I vill have you killed.” 

Ash realized he had not options left.  If he were to revolt, he would die, and who knows what would happen to Raine then.  He knew it wouldn’t end well for her.

Ash stood and made his way towards the massive wall of windows behind Odine’s desk, and prepared himself to make some demands.  If he was going to be ousted, he would make sure that both he and Raine were taken care of.  “I want to be compensated, Doctor Odine.  Think of it as…hush money.”  He turned to face the doctor as he spoke, staring him down with confidence he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

Odine smiled slightly, knowing that he had Ash right where he wanted him.  Odine nodded.  “You and Mizz Raine vill have enough Gil to live out ze rest of your lives in comfort.  You vill be given everything you need to continue your research.”  Odine approached, staying just out of reach should Ash lash out again.  “In return, you understand, zat you vill never return here, nor vill you speak of your tenure vith zis lab.  It vill be like it never happened, and all record of your employment vill be erased from our recordz.”  Odine clasped his hands behind his back.  “And if you ever try to return or contact me, or if I ever catch vind zat you have releazed Mizz Raine…” Odine closed the gap between him and Ash and grabbed the man’s shoulder with bony fingers, curling them into Ash’s flesh.  “…I vill make sure zat you vill vish you had never been born.  You vill suffer beyond belief and you vill certainly beg for death.”

Ash narrowed his eyes growled, “If you go back on your word, old man, and I don’t get my lab or my money…”

Odine simply sat at his desk and began collecting every piece of information pertaining to Project Perfect Phoenix into a pile in front of him.  He never turned to face Ash as he spoke.  “You vill get your compenzation.  Do not speak to Mizz Raine again today.  Now, get out.”

With no retort available in his mind, Ash silently shuffled towards the door.  Odine watched as he slipped out into the darkness of the hallway.  Satisfied that the situation was coming under control, he busied himself with the task of destroying any trace of Project Perfect Phoenix. 

He pressed a button labeled “SECURITY” on his intercom.  It buzzed as the connection was made, and Doctor Odine did not wait for acknowledgement before starting to speak.  “Have Doctor Ash followed back to hiz office, zen his apartment.  Never let him out of your sight.  Tell your communicationz agent to tap hiz phones and remove all live newz channels from Mizz Raine’s cable immediately.”

The man on the other end acknowledged his orders as Odine began to methodically to shred all evidence of his secret project.  He continued with his instructions as the machine whirred to life.

“Send a crew to ze genetics lab near ze Lunar Gate at once, to ensure zat it haz not been infested vith fiends.  If zey find any, remove ze threat and begin to clean.  It muzt be habitable in three days.  You have my permizzion to furnish it az you see fit.”

Satisfied that he had given his employee enough guidance, he switched the intercom off.  Then he continued to shred every last piece of evidence that could ever tie him or his lab to Raine Leonhart-Loire.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

                Darkness blanketed the desert just outside of Esthar.  The lab complex was quiet, save for the buzzing of a paper shredder.  The phone rang, startling Doctor Odine.

“Yes?”

“Winhill has…contacted us, Doctor Odine.”  He could sense the apprehension in the young man’s voice on the other end.

“And?”

“And…Barclay is dead, sir.”

Odine sighed and rolled his eyes, annoyed at this new news.  “Continue.”

The young man on the other end read the information he had received from Barclay’s sister back to the annoyed doctor.  “He committed suicide four months after his last delivery.  His sister said he left a note that simply read: ‘I don’t deserve forgiveness for what I’ve done.’  She didn’t know what that meant.”

Odine hung up the phone without warning.  He started to feel that panicked feeling again, the same one he felt in the President’s office that morning.  He mulled over the words of the suicide note in his head.  _“I don’t deserve forgiveness for what I’ve done.”_   Odine began to run scenarios in his mind, trying to figure out what the dead man’s words meant.  Although he didn’t want to admit it to himself, he knew that it had something to do with Raine.  Whatever Barclay had done, he was glad to be ridding himself of the burden of Project Perfect Phoenix and the woman now known as Raine Loire. 

 

 


	12. Phoenix Chapter Eleven

Phoenix:  Chapter Eleven

                Raine loved cinnamon rolls.  She adored everything about them:  the painstaking preparation, their aroma wafting through the house as they baked, the satisfaction of the first wonderful bite.  She inhaled deeply from her couch, taking in the delicate scent of sugar and spice floating through the room.  She hoped that someday she would be able to prepare them for a certain Estharian President.

She was flipping through the channels on her television, trying to find a newscast.  Raine was befuddled; all the stations that normally carried the news seemed to have vanished sometime during the night.  She desperately wanted to see Laguna’s face again, and to finally hear his voice in the real world.  She had dreamt all night of putting her arms around his neck, and never letting go.   She briefly considered calling Doctor Ash and asking about it, but decided it was too early in the morning.

Raine scowled, tossed the remote on the coffee table and reached for the romance novel next to the couch.  Snuggling under the blanket, she was soon engrossed in the racy contents, imagining the hero to be Laguna.

A knock on her door startled her, and she looked to the wall clock.  Almost fifteen minutes had passed.  She was surprised to have a visitor this early in the morning, especially on a Sunday. 

She closed her book, stood, and tossed the book into her vacated spot. Raine straightened her messy ponytail and made sure she was somewhat presentable to her visitor.  Pajamas and chocobo slippers would have to do.  She internally thanked Hyne she was already wearing a bra, so she could open the door without feeling exposed.  She briefly popped into the kitchen on her way to the entryway, noticing that her sweet breakfast treat still had ten minutes left in the oven. 

 “Coming!” she shouted at the nameless knocker.  Wincing as her bare feet came in contact with the cold foyer tile; she peered through the peephole and found Doctor Ash.  A hopeful smile swept across Raine’s face. 

“Doctor Ash!  This is a pleasant surprise.”  His expression was very serious, almost somber.  He avoided making eye contact with her, instead choosing to look down at his feet.

“What’s the matter?”

Ash raised his head to look into Raine’s deep azure eyes.  “Raine, I...”  She noticed that he was having trouble finding his words and was nervously playing with his wristwatch.  “Can I come in?”

Raine frowned; knowing whatever news he had for her could not be good.  “Sure, please sit down.”  She pointed towards her small living room. 

Ash moved past her.  He still couldn’t face her eyes for more than a few seconds.  He sat down on a plush chair and Raine did the same on the adjacent couch.  She put her hands in her lap and looked at her doctor with pleading eyes.  “What’s wrong, Doctor Ash?”

He exhaled deeply, taking a moment to compose himself.  He turned his head towards her to meet her gaze.

“Raine, I don’t know quite how to tell you this.”  His palms were beginning to sweat, and he wiped them on his trousers.  He noted the worried look on her face and steadied himself.  His guilt was already consuming him, and he hadn’t even lied to her yet. 

“Raine, I’m afraid I have some really bad news…”  He could feel the coffee he had forced himself to choke down that morning begin to churn in his stomach and rise.  She just looked at him with those doe-eyes, threatening to break him where he sat. 

“…Last night, at a charity ball…”  His voice cracked, just like he had practiced in his office hours before. 

“…Last night the president was shot and killed.”  He lowered his eyes, not wanting to see her reaction.

Raine heard the words, but they did not register within her brain.  Her whole body went numb, and she found it increasingly difficult to breathe.  Her hands migrated to her chest, where they came to rest crossed over her heart. 

An almost inhuman moan came from Raine’s direction.  Her hands covered her mouth and she began shaking, tears flowing freely from devastated eyes that had once shown so much life.  He gaze darted around frantically, trying to find something to focus on.  Her breaths were short and ragged.  “No…”  She began to sway in her seat, repeating, “No…no…”

“Raine?  Raine…”  Ash could tell that she was entering an almost trance-like state.  “Raine, you need to listen to me,” he soothed.  “You need to calm down and look at me.”  He moved from his chair to sit next to her on the couch.  He cupped her chin and pulled her face to look at him.  “Look at me, Raine.  Focus on my eyes and voice.”

She was frantic now and the blue orbs that met Ash’s gaze were devoid of life and glassy.  “Raine.  Calm down.  You’re going to hyperventilate if you don’t compose yourself.”

She was trembling before him and finally mustered, “You’re lying.”  Her words stung him painfully; He knew she spoke the truth, even if she didn’t realize she was correct.  “He can’t be dead.  Not now…not when I was so close!”

She began sobbing again, wrapping her arms around Ash’s body and burying her head in his shoulder.  Her tears began to soak through his shirt.  Her voice was muffled by his body.  “Please tell me you’re lying,” she pleaded.  “It can’t end like this, not when I was going to get my life back.”

Ash struggled to keep his composure.  The sight of what his lie was doing to her was almost too much to bear.  He desperately wanted to tell her that she was correct, that he was, in fact, lying.  Ash wrestled with that inner demon as he caressed Raine’s hair, trying to comfort her.  He felt so dirty, as if he were taking advantage of her vulnerability.  He knew that this pain he had caused her was consuming her from the inside, ripping apart any hopes she may have harbored of a life outside the lab. 

Her head still rested on his shoulder.   “Did he suffer?”

“What?”  Ash was not prepared for such a question.

“Was it quick, or was Laguna in pain?”

Ash hesitated for a moment, formulating his response.  “No.  It was a single shot to the head.  He never even knew what happened.”

He felt Raine’s grip tighten around his chest.  “At least it was instant.”  She began to sob again, and remained close to him for several moments.

Then, Raine suddenly stiffened and pushed herself away from the doctor.  “Wait.  Why haven’t I seen anything on the news?  Is this the reason all my news stations are gone?”  She lifted the hem of her shirt to wipe her eyes, revealing her bare abdomen for a brief moment.  Ash looked away, feeling awkward at the sight of her exposed flesh.

“Doctor Odine felt it would be better if you heard the news from someone you trusted.”  He inwardly cringed at the word “trust.”  _If only she knew how much I couldn’t be trusted…_

Raine sniffed and lowered her head gain, not responding to her physician’s reply.  She sat, with hiccupping sobs coming at irregular intervals.  Ash sat in silence, not quite knowing how to console her anymore.  His lie played over and over in his mind, as did the image of Raine’s heart breaking before his eyes.  Her emotions were raw, her pain almost too much for him to cope with.  His pangs of guilt came as sporadic waves of nausea.  Feeling the need to quench his own thirst, and needing an excuse to compose himself away from his patient’s grief-stricken eyes, he rose from his seat.  “Let me get you some water, ok?”

Raine didn’t answer; instead she curled up into a ball and buried herself under blankets in the corner of the couch.

Ash ventured into the warm kitchen, and was immediately greeted by the smell of baking pastries.  Not knowing where the glasses were kept, he spent a moment opening cabinets.  Spices, food boxes, plates, and finally glassware.  He filled two glasses at the tap and before returning to Raine, drained his own. 

Upon re-entering the living room, the doctor could hear sniffling emanating from underneath the purple fleece blanket.  “Raine?  I brought you some water.  You should really drink something.”

A muffled voice answered from within the makeshift cave.  “A beer.”

“I’m sorry, what?”  _Was she really requesting alcohol at eight-thirty in the morning?_

The voice spoke again, more forceful this time.  “You said I should drink something.  I want a beer.  Trabian Ale…in the fridge.”

“Okay…”  Ash placed the water on the coffee table and returned to the kitchen, where the baking scent had taken on slightly burned note.  Spotting some oven mitts, he opened the oven to find deeply brown cinnamon rolls.  Frowning at their overcooked appearance, he removed them and set them aside on a cooling rack that had been left on the counter. 

He returned to the living room, beer in hand, which was becoming bathed in the light of the rising sun.  He held the beverage out in front of him.  “Here you go, Raine.”

A lone hand snaked out from under the blanket, palm open.  Ash placed the cold bottle in the exposed extremity and watched as both vessel and hand disappeared under the covering once again.  Not knowing quite what to do with himself, he sat again and rested his head on one of his fists.  Ash decided to stay silent and wait for a cue from Raine.

Several moments passed, the only sounds to be heard being the ticking of the wall clock and the periodic sloshing of liquid being drained from a bottle.  Then, without warning, the hand appeared again and dropped the now empty bottle haphazardly onto the carpeted floor.  Once again, he heard a muffled voice.  “Another.”

Ash looked at his watch.  “Raine, it’s only eight-forty-five.  You really should eat something.”

Messy brown hair, followed by a forehead and two puffy red eyes peeked out from behind the blanket.  “I’m not hungry.”

Ash moved to sit on the couch with Raine once more.  He noted that she had stopped crying.  “Raine,” he soothed.  “Drowning your sorrows in booze isn’t the answer.  You really need to talk about your feelings.”

Her head dipped below the blanket again.  “You want me to share my feelings, Doctor Ash?  Alright, here you go.  This fucking sucks!”

Her tone was no longer one of sadness, but of anger.  Ash was taken aback by her use of such a profane word.  He had never heard her swear like that before.

Raine sat up, with only her head sticking up out of the covering.  “I finally get somewhere with remembering my life and I get so close to being able to actually connect…”  Raine exhaled, almost in annoyance.  “…and some coward pulls the rug out from under me with a bullet.”

“I tell you what,” Ash suggested.  “I’ll gather some materials about Laguna.  At least you will have something then.  You can learn about what a great man he was.”  He patted her knee through the quilt.  “It may not be a real live person, but it might bring you some closure if you learn more about him.”

Ash pondered what had just come out of his mouth.  Now with Laguna “dead” he could provide her with more insight into the President’s life.  She would have no reason to want to meet him now.

Raine forced a weak smile.  “That would be nice, I guess.”  She huffed, and stared around the room at nothing in particular.  “I think I need to be alone for a while, Doctor Ash.”

The young doctor exhaled and slapped his hands on his thighs.  “Alright then, but there’s one more thing that brought me here this morning.”

Raine’s eyes darkened and a look of concern crossed her face.  “I hope it’s not bad news again.  I don’t think I could take any more today.”

“Actually, I think this news is quite good,” Ash lied, unable to show his true emotions on how he felt.  He didn’t want to let on that he was furious about being blackmailed to leave.  “We’ve been given our very own lab.  It’s near the Lunar Gate.  We’re going to move there next week.”  Ash feigned a fake smile.  Raine merely stared at him, not uttering a word. 

“When we’re settled, we could try some more hypno-therapy.  You might have more luck regaining more memories of Laguna now that you have conscious knowledge of him.  I know you might not want to hear it right now, but you may benefit from recalling more about him.  It will help in the grieving process.”

Raine hung her head.  “Whatever.”

Making his way to the door, Ash passed by the kitchen and spied the overcooked pastries he had left to cool.  “I took your cinnamon rolls out of the oven for you.  I think they’ll still be okay to eat.”

He didn’t expect a response from the devastated woman he was leaving behind.  Ash let himself out and quietly closed the door behind him.  When he had put a bit of distance between himself and Raine’s suite, Ash ducked into a supply closet, locking the door behind him.  He stood trembling for a moment before collapsing to his knees.  No one passing by in the hallway heard his sobs. 


	13. Phoenix Chapter Twelve

Phoenix: Chapter Twelve

                “You know the drill, Raine.”

The young woman positioned herself on the supple leather couch of Ash’s new office exactly as she had done dozens of times over the past years.  The only difference today was that she and her physician were in a new office, a new home.  She crossed her hands on her belly and began to relax herself. 

The pair had made the move to the new lab over a month ago, _almost_ without incident.  There was the caravan’s run-in with an adolescent Malboro, but it turned out to not pose much of a threat.  Raine learned a valuable lesson that day about the tentacled beast:  adolescent Malboros can’t spit Bad Breath.  After the beast was dispatched and its tentacles harvested, the group was once again on its way.

Their new home was smaller than the environment Raine was accustomed to, but she was relieved to be further away from Doctor Odine.  She had a smaller apartment than she was living in at Odine Labs, but her personal kitchen was cozy and warm, and for that she was grateful.  She and Ash shared most of their meals in a communal dining room, prepared in the spacious commercial kitchen once used by employees by Raine.  She enjoyed having the small complex to themselves, and spent many hours exploring the various rooms and halls.  She equated it to a treasure hunt: she never knew what she was going to find behind each door.  Most of the rooms were empty, but every once and a while she would find something interesting.  She even found an old Timber Maniacs magazine with an article written by Laguna, which she took with her and stowed away underneath her pillow.  She read the article every night before falling asleep.

She was still heartbroken over the loss of Laguna Loire.  The first few weeks after his assassination were the hardest.  She dreamt about him every night: sometimes the images were peaceful and funny, but more often than not, she envisioned his death.  Those nights she would wake up terrified and not be able to fall back to sleep.  Even though those particular dreams had started to subside, she still found herself scared to go to sleep at night, fearful of what her dreams might bring. 

She vowed to herself to remember more about him and their life together.  She wanted to keep his memory alive in her mind.  So she continued her daily hunt around the complex, hoping to find any more morsels about her lost love. 

As she reclined on Ash’s couch, her eyes wandered to the ceiling, where they rested upon a water spot on one of the tiles. She followed the uneven outline of it, wondering what had caused the leak in the first place.  Raine used the mark as her focus point to help with her relaxation.

She was vaguely aware of her doctor counting backwards from ten, gently urging her to find a peaceful place in her mind. 

_This time will be the time when I remember something more.  I know it._

It was a mantra she always repeated without fail before undergoing hypnotic therapy.  It was a small bit of encouragement that had helped her in her darkest times, when she believed that more recollection just wasn’t possible.  It gave her the motivation to press on and not give up on herself, even when she felt that there was no hope.

“Where are you, Raine?”

She inhaled deeply, smelling the scent of wildflowers in her vision.  “I think I’m near a flower garden.  The smell is so heavenly.  I’m standing with my back up against some sort of structure.”  Raine hesitated for a moment to survey her surroundings in her mind.  “I think it’s a tool shed…and there’s a…a target painted behind me.”  Her words were hinted with confusion.

“A…target?”

“Yes, in red paint on the wood.  It looks like a child painted it.  It’s jagged and the circles aren’t equal.”  She grinned in her relaxed state, obviously amused by the “art” before her.  “Wait, someone’s coming.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_“Laguna, you can’t be serious.  There’s no way I’m letting you throw those things at me.”_

_The handsome long-haired man in front of Raine got a pleading look on his face.  “C’mon, don’t be such a party-pooper,” he whined.  “How am I supposed to become a famous circus knife-thrower if I don’t practice?”_

_Raine smiled and stepped over to him.  She put her arms around his neck, mindful of the blades in his hands at his sides.  “You don’t need a human target.  Just aim at what you painted on my garden shed.”_

_Laguna pouted.  “But I need to know where to aim.  I’m going to need a real person to throw at eventually.”  He looked towards the sky for a moment, deep in thought.  His brow was furrowed, his lips pursed.  When he finally spoke again, it was with great gusto.  “I’ll bake you a cake if you let me aim at you!”  His grin was massive, obviously proud of his bribe._

_“You honestly think I’m eating anything you cook?  Last time I did that I was puking my guts out for days!”  Raine patted him on the chest._

_“Uhhh….okay.  How ‘bout if I buy you one then.  There’s that chocolate-raspberry one you like from Mila’s.”  The sing-song of his voice seemed to float on the spring air._

_Raine sighed, knowing Laguna had her just where he wanted her.  There was no way she could resist the scrumptious confection he had tempted her with._

_“You’d better not hit me, Loire.”_

_He kissed her on the top of the head then pushed away.  Making a crossing motion over his chest, he promised, “I won’t hit you.  Deling Scouts honor.”_

_“You dropped out of Deling Scouts,” Raine replied dryly as she took her position once again up against the tool shed._

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“Now what’s he doing?”

Raine’s face was stern for a moment.  In an instant, her hands sprung to her left thigh, where she massaged the muscles through her skirt.

“He hit me!”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_“Holy shit, Raine!  I’m so sorry!”_

_Laguna dropped the rest of his throwing knives to the grass and ran to Raine’s side.  She was curled up in a ball, clutching her left leg._

_“Laguna!  You stabbed me!”  Tears were streaming down Raine’s face, and her hands were slowly becoming stained with blood._

_“Lemme see,” Laguna commanded.  The sight of the blood was instantly too much for him, and he started to sway back and forth.  “Whoa, that’s a lot of blood.  I…I don’t feel so good, Raine.”_

_She grabbed him by the arm and shook it.  “No way, Laguna.  You don’t get to faint.”_

_The young soldier snapped himself back and replied, “Oh man, Raine.  I’m so sorry!  I wasn’t aiming for your leg, honest!  I was aiming for your...never mind.”_

_Raine didn’t even want to know what his intended target had been.  Starting to feel light-headed, she commanded, “Just get me into the house and call Dr. Phillips.  I’m going to need stitches.”_

_Laguna dutifully scooped his love up into his arms and carried her towards the pub where she lived, pausing in mid-voyage to shake a cramp out of his leg._

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Ash brought Raine out of her hypnotic state and she immediately lifted the bottom hem of the plaid mini-skirt she was wearing, causing the doctor to blush and look away.

“Look!  I always wondered what this scar was from!”  Raine was beaming, pointing at a C-shaped scar on her thigh.  “I can’t believe he threw knives at me…and I can’t believe I _let_ him.  That’s true love, I guess.”  She chuckled as she let her skirt fall back into its original position.

She propped herself up on her elbows and looked towards her doctor.  Her grin subsided and was replaced by a mournful expression.  “It really stinks that I am remembering more things and I can’t share them with Laguna.”

Ash switched the small ever-present recorder off and answered, “I know you still miss Laguna, and you’ll probably never stop missing him, but this really is good for you.  Memories keep lost loved ones alive in your heart.”

Raine sat up completely and swung her legs off the side of the couch.  “You know what might cheer me up?”  She had a hopeful glint in her eyes.

“What?”

“Could we go to Esthar?  I’ve never been there, and I would love to see it for myself.  Who knows, maybe someone will recognize me!” 

A moment of terror washed over Ash as he struggled to come up with a viable excuse as to why they couldn’t go.  There was no way she could ever set foot in the metropolis.  She’d realize the lie instantly, as Loire’s image was plastered all over the gleaming city.

“I wish we could, Raine.  But there’s an epidemic spreading through Esthar right now.  Doctors there have no idea what it is or how to cure it.”  He observed her reaction closely, trying to gauge if she was falling for yet another lie.  “You’ve been away from the general populous for so long that you would be at an even greater risk of infection.  We just can’t take that chance.”

Raine eyed him suspiciously for a moment before conceding.  “I guess a shopping trip isn’t worth catching the plague over.”

Ash sighed internally in relief.  Although he was getting better at lying to her, he still didn’t enjoy doing it. 

“Are we done, Ash?  I’m hungry.”

Doctor Ash closed the file folder on his lap.  “Sure.  Don’t forget to write about your vision in your journal.  The more you think about it, the more chance of more recovery you have,” he reminded.

Raine rose and gave her doctor the same “salute” Laguna had made in her vision.  “Deling Scouts honor.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Night was falling over Great Plains of Esthar near Lunar Gate.  The small bedroom was illuminated by a small table lamp in the corner.  A figure sat in an adjacent chair, legs curled under her.  A small notebook was resting on a pillow on her lap, fingers holding a pen that was moving at lightning speed across the pages. 

_“…I read the article again tonight.  Laguna writes of a place called Balamb.  Apparently it’s a fishing town.  It looks very quaint and peaceful…like a nice place to raise kids.”_

Raine paused for a moment to sip her steaming tea.  She gazed out at the Lunar Gate in the distance through her window.  Every so often, a “whoomp” was heard, as a capsule was sent rocketing into the stratosphere, then into space.  As first she found the noise to be quite annoying, but had become increasingly used to it over the past month. 

_“Children.  I know I have written about kids in the past, but I can’t help but wonder if I had any…with Laguna.  Sometimes I daydream that I had two, a boy and a girl.  We would bake cookies, snuggle on the sofa and read books, and pick vegetables in the garden.  But then I have to stop myself because I get depressed.  I get so mad at my brain sometimes for holding my memories under lock and key.  I get myself so worked up that I start to doubt whether or not Hyne really exists.  I mean, how could an all-powerful being be so cruel as to take a woman away from her family and torment her every day by keeping her in the dark about her life?  I just don’t know what to think anymore.”_

Raine sipped at her tea again and reached for the last of the jam-filled cookies she had prepared earlier that day.  Her attention turned to a small crystal frame on her nightstand.  She rose, leaving her journal behind.  She sat on her bed and picked up the photo.

“Laguna, why is life so cruel sometimes?”

The handsome face, an official photo Ash had given her, just grinned back at her.  She placed the frame back on her night-table and lay down.  Her hand migrated under her pillow to touch the tattered Timber Maniacs magazine that resided there and cried herself to sleep once again.

_A/N:  FYI Mila’s was the bakery that did my wedding cake…shout-out!  And Dr.Phillips was a college professor…you know, back in the stone ages when I graduated from college, lol.   Gotta represent!_


	14. Phoenix Chapter Thirteen

Phoenix: Chapter Thirteen

_A/N:  Just for continuity’s sake and timing, Raine is now 32, Ash is 43 and Squall is 8…somewhere in the world…_

**Five Years Later**

                “Happy Birthday, Ash!  Forty-three, right?”

Doctor William Ash gazed upon the beautiful layer cake in front of him.  Over the years, Raine had learned just what kind of birthday dessert he enjoyed: white cake, chocolate frosting, no sprinkles.  This year she had even sculpted tiny flowers out of red fondant, making the top of the cake reminiscent of a flower garden in full bloom.

“You really outdid yourself this year, Raine.”

“C’mon, make a wish!”  Raine pointed towards the striped candle rising from the middle of the pastry. 

Ash closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, holding his breath for a moment.  After confirming his desire in his mind, he blew out the breath and extinguished the flame.

Raine clapped her hands.  “Now don’t tell me what your wish was or it won’t come true!”

As Raine began to cut into the moist cake, Ash thanked her for the wonderful meal.  “Raine, that was just wonderful.  The Mesmerize steaks were superb, and that butter sauce?”  Ash pinched his thumb and forefinger together and kissed them.  “Practically orgasmic.”

Raine blushed at Ash’s racy comment.  “It’s just butter sauce!”  She handed him a slice of her confection, complete with a scoop of strawberry ice cream. 

Ash kept thinking about the wish he had just made as the two ate in silence.  He internally tried to decide whether or not he should act upon it.  Feelings he had not felt in a very long time had begun to creep up on him over the last few years, and he was finding it increasingly difficult to keep them at bay.  He was lonely, and there was a beautiful, kindhearted woman in his life every single day. 

“Don’t you like your cake?”

Ash was snapped out of his thoughts and realized that he had been merely pushing the dessert around on his plate.  “Of course I like it!  I just got caught up in my thoughts, that’s all.” 

The two finished their cake and ice cream over small talk:  how Raine’s herb garden was growing, rouge Chimera that they had both seen skulking around the gate.  When they finished, Ash began to help Raine clear the dishes.

“Oh no you don’t, mister.  It’s your birthday, I’ll clean up.”

Ash decided to disobey and grabbed the dishes anyway, following Raine into the kitchen.  “Come on now, Ash.   What do you think you’re doing?”

Ash set the plates in the sink and turned to look Raine in the eyes.  “Making my wish come true.”

Confusion registered on Raine’s face as leaned forward and kissed her tenderly.  He immediately felt her stiffen and she pushed him away.

Raine’s breath hitched in her chest.  “D…Doctor Ash?  Wh-what are you doing?”  She was trembling.

Instantly Ash felt utterly embarrassed.  He felt his cheeks flush as he struggled to find his words.  He turned his back to her and put his hands over his face.  “Raine, I’m so sorry.  I…I don’t know what came over me.”  He hung his head in shame. 

Raine hesitated for a moment, not knowing whether to run back to her apartment or stay.  She was torn, for she had no romantic feelings for Ash whatsoever, but she could see that he was hurting and embarrassed.   She wanted to help him.  She nervously wrung her hands for a long moment before finally responding. 

“I’m sorry, William.  I just don’t feel that way about you.  I mean…you’re my doctor and my friend.”

Ash turned to face her once again.  “I’m such a fool, Raine.  Please forgive me.  I swear to you this will never happen again.”

Ash felt flushed as a wave of heat flashed through his body.  He prayed that he had not irrevocably damaged their relationship.  “It was stupid of me to risk our working relationship and our friendship on such a thoughtless impulse.”

Raine’s eyes turned compassionate and she cocked her head slightly.  She grasped Ash’s shaking hands in her own.  “It wasn’t thoughtless.  You have feelings just like everyone else.  I just hope you understand that even though he’s gone, my heart will always belong to Laguna.” 

The doctor removed his hands from Raine’s clutch and shoved them into his pockets.  “Look at us, now you’re acting the part of the psychologist.  I’m supposed to help you with _your_ feelings, not vice-versa.”  Ash tried to muster a smile.  “Thank you for being so kind.  You totally had every reason to freak out and yet, here you are trying to soothe my feelings.  You truly are an angel, Raine.”

Her eyes twinkled like stars as she responded, “I just want us both to be happy.  I know you’ll find that special someone someday.  Now, go back to your apartment and try to take your mind off of this evening.”

“You’re too kind, Raine.  I can’t tell you embarrassed, mortified and sorry I am.  You have my word that this will never happen again.”

“I know it won’t Ash.  Let’s just forget about it.”  Raine shooed him away with her hands and turned back to the sink full of dishes.

Ash moped back to his apartment in the small complex, where he could just barely make out the sound of clinking silverware being loaded into the dishwasher.  He opened his liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of cheap Galbadian whiskey.  Not bothering to pour the contents into a glass, he instead chugged straight from the bottle. 

_Time to drown your sorrows, old boy.  Forget all about Raine…_

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_After a few weeks of awkwardness, Raine and Doctor Ash had overcome the tense time their relationship had endured, after the “birthday incident.”  Ash took advantage of their reluctance to be together for more than therapy to prepare a surprise for Raine.  Everything was now back to normal, and life continued as it always had in the small world the pair had made for themselves._

“What exactly do you expect me to do with your dancing cactuar tie?”

Ash sighed and pointed his index finger down and twirled it, motioning for Raine to turn around.  He loosely tied the accessory around her head, covering her eyes.  “I expect you to use it as a blindfold.  Can you see?”

“Of course I can’t see!”

“Good, now come with me.”  He took Raine by the hand and led her down the hall to formerly empty room. 

“You know this isn’t necessary.  I won’t peek.”

Ash chuckled.  “It is so necessary.  I don’t want this to be unveiled prematurely.”  He hoped the gift he had prepared for Raine would please her.  Ever since the unpleasantness of his birthday celebration, Ash had been wracking his brain trying to come up with some way to make amends.  He had been feverishly working on his surprise ever since then, and had barely made his self-imposed deadline.

When the pair arrived at their destination, Ash opened the door and guided Raine inside.  “Okay, you can take the blindfold off now.”

Her eyes focused on the room before her.  Ash had transformed one of the many vacant lab spaces into a dojo. 

“Ash, what is all this?”

The doctor extended his arms out wide at his sides.  “Happy Birthday, Raine.”

The woman eyed him quizzically.  “Birthday?  We don’t know when my birthday is.”

“True, but we can pretend it’s today, okay?  Humor me.”

Raine put her hands on her hips.  “You sure are a strange one, Doctor Ash,” she quipped with a smile.  “I don’t know what to say.  This is amazing.”

Ash grasped her hand and began an impromptu tour.  “It’s equipped with everything you need to practice your martial arts.  I know since we left Odine’s lab you’ve had to train with your DVD’s in your apartment.”

Ash pointed towards the back wall, which was adorned with mirrors.  “There’s a TV and DVD player so you can practice here, in front of the mirror.”

He motioned to the corner, where a punching bag hung from heavy chains fastened to the ceiling.  “I didn’t know what kind of equipment you needed, so I got everything,” he admitted with a sheepish grin.  “There’s focus pads, gloves, mats and punching bags.  You could even practice on me once and while, if you promise not to jack me up too bad.”

Raine surprised Ash by throwing her arms around his neck in an excited embrace.  “Thank you, Ash.  This is so much more than I could ever want.”

“So you like it?”  Ash hoped he hadn’t overdone it.

Raine scurried over to the punching bag and gave it a few good kicks, followed by a nasty cross punch before responding, “I love it.  It’s the best gift I’ve ever received…I think.”

Raine gave the bag a strong roundhouse kick and reclaimed her position at Ash’ side.  “I could never thank you enough.  This is so wonderful.”

Ash bowed his head to her.  “Anything for you Raine.” 

 


	15. Phoenix Chapter Fourteen

Phoenix: Chapter Fourteen

                Raine’s eyelids grew heavy, causing her to have trouble focusing on the large travel-photo book on her lap.  The glossy, colorful images that had captivated her imagination earlier were now the only obstacle between her exhausted brain and blissful sleep.  She was just about to start a section on Balamb, an admitted favorite part of the book, when her eyes finally succumbed and closed, leaving her fast asleep nestled into the corner of her couch.  As her body went limp, the book slipped from her lap and fell to the floor.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_The pain was unbearable, coming in waves every five minutes or so.  Raine stood in the doorframe, resting her weary, sweat-soaked body against the wood.  She cradled her left arm around the bottom of her bulging belly._

_“Raine dear, come and lay down.  You are very close.”  The smiling old woman tried her best to soothe her._

_“This is the only position that takes that awful pressure off of my back.”_

_“I know your back hurts.  It’s called ‘back labor.’  It means the baby is probably face-up.”  The midwife knew this would make birth difficult for both mother and child._

_“I just want to stand a little b…”  Raine’s sentence was cut short by another contraction starting, the pain making her unable to speak.  She slumped against a table next to the door, and then into the arms of the midwife, who had swooped in to help support her patient.  The two swayed back and forth attempting to take pressure off of Raine’s hips._

_“Don’t hold your breath.  Blow through your pain.”_

_The pair rode out the contraction while a terrible storm raged outside.  The window in the small room was cracked just enough to let a breeze in, but keep the torrent out.  Even with the small draft, the late-August heat was oppressive._

_As the pain subsided, Raine straightened up.  “Thank you, Francine.”  She wiped damp hair away from her cheeks.  “I don’t know if I can take much more of this.”_

_The midwife took Raine’s hand and led her to her bed.  “Lie down and let me check the baby’s position.  I have a feeling this little one is going to make its appearance any time now.”_

_Raine lay back on the pillows and relaxed herself as much as possible to allow the midwife to examine her.  She hissed and winced at the invasion.  She watched the older woman’s face through squinted eyes._

_“The baby’s head is right here,” she said with a smile.  “I think it’s time to start the real work!”_

_Raine’s mind instantly went to Laguna, as it had numerous times since her water had broken the previous morning.  All through the last night, as her labor pains intensified, she couldn’t stop thinking about Laguna.  She wished he were there with her, helping her through and ultimately witnessing the birth of their child._

_The midwife began gathering all her supplies from a large carpet bag.  “Are you excited?”_

_Raine managed a faint smile.  “Of course.  I’m just worried.  I’ve never done this before…and the baby is five weeks early.  Isn’t that bad?”_

_The gray-haired woman sat on the edge of the bed and massaged Raine’s swollen foot.  “The baby will probably be small, but five weeks isn’t that premature.”_

_“Okay.”  Another contraction was revving up, and Raine instinctively began a low moan.  She rolled on to her side, attempting to reduce the pressure on the small of her back.  The midwife went to the other side of the bed and began to apply firm compression on her spine.  “On the next contraction, I want you to try pushing.  It will help your body move the baby.”_

_Raine immediately began to cry at the suggestion.  She felt exhausted, scared and alone.  The prospect that the baby would be there soon both terrified and elated her at the same time._

_When the pain had subsided, the midwife helped Raine into a reclining position, with pillows supporting her back.  She then offered her a sip of water and wiped Raine’s brow with a cool cloth._

_Another contraction started, much quicker than the previous one.  “Sit up a little,” the midwife instructed.  “Pull your knees apart and bear down.”_

_She attempted to follow the words of the old woman, but was having trouble concentrating.  She felt enormous pressure in her head as she pushed, and felt like she wasn’t helping the baby progress._

_The midwife, sensing her frustration, offered some sage wisdom.  “I know it sounds weird, but pretend you’re using the bathroom.  Believe me, after six kids of my own, I know what works.”_

_“Next one,” Raine replied, out of breath.  Her mind wandered again to Laguna, wondering where he was and what he was doing.  There was no way he could have had any clue that his child was about to be born, as Raine didn’t find out she was pregnant until weeks after his departure.  She had hoped he would make it home in time for the big event, but it was apparent that only a miracle would bring him through the door now._

_Raine had only a few moments to compose herself before the next contraction started.  The pain and pressure built up, giving her the uncontrollable urge to push.  She took the midwife’s advice and was pleasantly, albeit painfully, surprised to feel the baby move down inside her body.  She concentrated all her force to her core, and worked in tandem with her body’s cues._

_The old woman, who was positioned at Raine’s feet, smiled with encouragement.  “That was a good push!  I saw the top of the baby’s head…lots of dark hair!”_

_Raine wanted this all to be over so badly.  She was done with the pain, done with the pressure.  She just wanted to hold her baby in her arms. “This is really hard!”_

_“That’s why they call it ‘labor’, honey.”_

_“Oh Hyne, here comes another one!”  She curled her abdominal muscles around the baby and pushed with all her might.  She could just barely make out the concerned look on the midwife’s face through heavy-lidded eyes._

_“Looks like I was right.  This little booger’s looking at the sky.  You’ll just have to work extra hard for this birthday!”_

_The contraction ended, leaving Raine feeling indescribable pressure in her pelvis.  “I have to push more!  The pressure is killing me!”_

_The midwife rubbed Raine’s calf.  “No, no honey.  Only push with the contractions.  The pressure you feel is just the baby sitting there.  He or she is almost here.”_

_“I can’t wait!” Raine screamed.  “This is unbearable!”  She panted heavily, sweat and tears streaming down her face in unison._

_“I know you want to push, Raine, but you mustn’t.  It’ll just make more work for you if you don’t wait.  Besides, it will stress the baby.”_

_“I’m never doing this again!” Raine protested.  She decided right then and there that this would be her one and only child.  There was no way she would ever endure this kind of pain voluntarily again._

_“You’re going to need all your strength and then some to get this baby out, honey.  Sunny-side-up little ones aren’t quite positioned right.  Think of something happy, then push with all you’ve got.”_

_As Raine felt the next labor pain starting, the image of Laguna’s smiling face as he proposed settled behind her eyes.  She could barely register the midwife encouraging her as she urged her body to do what nature intended._

_An extreme burning pain erupted from between her legs and she screamed out into the room.  Lightning flashed at that exact moment, mirroring the intensity of the anguish she was feeling._

_“Keep pushing, dear.  That’s just the baby’s head crowning.  It’s almost over.”_

_Raine cried out as the burn turned to agony.  She could feel her skin stretching to accommodate her child.  “Get it out!” she wailed._

_“Just one more little push, then when I tell you to stop…you stop.  Okay?”_

_Raine concentrated on dialing back her efforts and she felt the baby’s head slip from her body._

_Raine leaned her head back on the pillows for a moment, her energy nearly spent.  She tried not to dwell on the terrible pain in her groin and pelvis, telling herself it would be over soon.  She could hear the gurgling sound of the suction bulb._

_“You can look, if you want.  It’s quite a sight!”_

_She opened her eyes, but was unsure if actually wanted to see or not.  She quickly peeked down to see a tiny face, indeed sunny-side up, on a tiny head.  The midwife was right about the dark hair._

_“One more push and you get to hold your baby, honey.  You’re doing great.”_

_Raine clutched the sheets in her fists, arched her back and pushed with every last remaining ounce of strength left in her body.  She cried out with a guttural scream as she felt the newest Loire slide into the world.  “LAGUNA!”_

_Exhausted, her head fell back against the pillows and she sobbed in relief.  All the pressure in her abdomen was gone, along with the “full” feeling she had experienced in the last months of her pregnancy, when the baby had been pushing up on her lungs and stomach._

_A tiny cry erupted from the end of the bed, and Raine opened her eyes.  Her gaze rested upon a tiny, squirming infant in the midwife’s arms._

_“Congratulations, Raine.  It’s a boy.”  The old woman looked up at the wall clock. “Five-fourteen p.m.”_

_Raine watched as the woman carefully cut the umbilical cord and wiped the baby clean.  She rubbed his brown hair gently, fluffing it as it dried.  After wrapping him in a warm blanket, she handed him to Raine._

_The new mother felt instant and unconditional love for the little helpless being in her arms.  As the midwife busied herself with Raine’s immediate aftercare, Raine got to know her new son.  “Hey there, little man.  I’m your mommy.”_

_He had stopped crying almost immediately after birth, and had a very serious expression on his face for such a small baby.  His eyes, when they actually peeked open, were the bluest blue Raine had ever seen. Even though his face was squished and puffy from the ordeal of birth, she could just make out that he had Laguna’s chin.  His tiny mouth reminded her of a baby bird, eagerly waiting for the mother to return to the nest with food.  She nuzzled her chin in his soft brown hair._

_He felt so small in her arms, so fragile.  “Is it okay that he’s so quiet?”  Raine was concerned that her newborn son wasn’t crying._

_The midwife held her arms out and Raine reluctantly let her take the baby.  “I just need to do a quick exam…listen to his heart, weigh and measure him.  Then I’ll give him back, I promise.”_

_Raine acknowledged with a tired nod and lay back on her pillows as the older woman unwrapped the baby at the foot of the bed.  He immediately began to cry when his skin was exposed to the cool room air.  “What’s wrong?”  Raine inquired._

_“Oh, he’s just mad because he’s cold.  Aren’t you?”  She asked the wailing infant._

_The midwife listened to his heart and lungs, then placed him in a small cloth sling, attached to a portable scale.  “Five pounds even.  Little chicobo.”  She then measured the baby, which was easier said than done, as he was kicking his feet in protest.  “Eighteen inches.  You’ve got a tiny one here, Raine…but he appears just as healthy as can be.”_

_With the baby wrapped once again, this time in a blanket Raine had knitted, the midwife encouraged the new mother to try and nurse.  “It will help you two bond, plus he’s probably hungry.”_

_Raine was relieved when her newborn son latched on right away and began to eat.  She caressed his tiny ear between her thumb and forefinger as he suckled, marveling that this tiny creature had been inside her body not more than thirty minutes prior.  She was startled when the midwife lifted the blankets from her legs._

_“I just want to check your bleeding, honey.”_

_Raine allowed her, and noticed a concerned look on her face.  “Is something wrong?”  The young mother suddenly had a sinking feeling in her stomach._

_The woman replaced the blankets after placing some towels under Raine’s hips.  “I’m just going to call Doctor Phillips.  Your bleeding is still pretty heavy, so I just want a second opinion.  Raine was very scared now, and wished for Laguna to come bursting through the door.  All she had read about post-partum had warned that heavy bleeding was a very serious complication._

_“Don’t worry yourself, sweetie.  I’m sure everything will be okay.”_

_As the nurse was about to leave the young mother to call her physician, she turned to ask, “By the way, have you decided on a name for the little guy?”_

_Raine looked down at her newborn son, who had released her breast to yawn, and replied, “I’m not sure, yet.  It will have to be something unique though…after all, he is a Loire…and they are nothing if not unique.”_

_Somewhere high above, a massive bolt of lightning hurled itself from the heavens and hit the eaves of the pub.  The resulting shudder of the house startled Raine…_

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Raine awoke with such a start that she tumbled off of the couch and rolled on top of the book she had dropped, bending the once pristine pages.  She sat up and struggled to regain her bearings.  Her body was trembling, and she felt a phantom ache in her pelvis.  Her breath was staccato, her face flushed.

“Hyne, I’m a mother!” she cried out into the dark room.  She knew in her heart of hearts that what she had just experienced was no dream. .  Raine sat for a moment, wedged in-between the couch and coffee table, trying to comprehend what she had just seen in her mind. She could still feel the feather-weight of the baby in her arms, and her body felt exhausted, as if she had really just given birth.  She could still sense the heat of the room on that summer night, smell the antiseptic odor of the midwife’s supplies, and feel the unconditional love she had for the infant…her son. 

_I have a son.  Laguna’s son.  Our son.  His name is..._

In the struggle Raine constantly had with her memories, her brain was the victor once more.  It voraciously devoured the name of the baby, locking it away from her.  She cursed her mind as it taunted her with the memory.  

Determined to record everything she possibly could from the event, she bounded into her bedroom and immediately began to write the details in her journal.  Her face was consumed by a huge smile as she wrote, even as she penned the graphic and painful details of her child’s entry into the world.  The fact that she had this memory now, even though the baby was nameless, drove her to comb her brain for every last element to record. 

When she finished, she tossed the notebook aside and her feet carried her swiftly to Ash’s door.  Not caring that is was almost midnight; she clubbed her tiny fist against the hard wood. 

Ash opened the door to find a flustered Raine, once again, beaming from ear to ear. 

“I’m a mother!” Raine screeched, jumping from side to side from sheer excitement.  “It’s a boy!”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

In the wee hours of the morning, after Raine had gone back to her own apartment, Ash sat in the darkness.  Ice clinked in a tumbler that had once been filled with whiskey.  The window was cracked slightly, and every so often, a small trail of smoke exited the suite, to be carried into the desert on the dry night winds. 

Ash had taken up smoking as a teen, and swore it off when his grandfather died of lung cancer when the doctor was only twenty-two.  Much to his chagrin, the habit had crept up on him again after Odine had “released him”, and now was a very easy way to relieve stress.  He never let on to Raine about his secret, and reserved this act for times when he was truly alone.

He drained the remaining drops of alcohol in the glass and returned it to the table beside him, where his trusty recorder was running.

“…I’m sorta glad I’m not able to tell her the child is dead.  I think it would break her more than the Laguna lie.  It gives her something to hope for…”

He exhaled sharply, knowing that no matter how hard she looked or researched, there would be no record of the baby, just as there was no record of her…at least that she was allowed access to. 

“I have to admit, I am interested in knowing the name of the baby for some reason.  I guess I could try and find records but…”

He trailed off; knowing that he was forbidden to make contact with the outside world, save for supply orders through a vendor that Odine had sanctioned.  In a way, he was glad he couldn’t find out.  It would be one less piece of information that he would have to keep from Raine. 

“…what am I going to do if she remembers where she’s from?  I have good stories for keeping her out of Esthar, but what about Winhill?  Surely she’ll want to return…”

Ash flicked his spent cigarette out the window and stared out across the bleak landscape. 

“Fuck…what have you gotten yourself into, man?  You worked so hard your whole life, only to be shuffled off into the desert with a woman you can never have.  And on top of that, you lie to her on a daily basis.  You’re a real asshole, William Ash.”

He switched off the recorder and tossed it back next to his empty glass.  Sighing in defeat, he lit up another smoke and directed his attention towards the Lunar Gate, watching as a freshly-launched capsule soared upwards to the heavens.

 

_A/N:  Shout out to Francine, the doctor who delivered my little dude!  And…just sayin’…five pound babies may be little, but they still hurt like a SOB…been there, done that, and as Raine would say, “I’m never doing this again!”  I love my little guy more than he will ever know…_ _J_

 


	16. Phoenix Chapter Fifteen

Phoenix: Chapter Fifteen

                _A/N:  For continuity and timing, Raine is now 39, Ash 50, and Squall is 15 years old…completely unaware of the goings-on on the other side of the planet…_

**Seven Years Later**

                “I’m coming up to that sign again; you know…the one I can never read.”

Ash sat in his chair, squinting at the files on his lap.  His eyesight had become worse in the twelve years he and Raine had lived in the old genetics complex.  He was happy his new glasses would be arriving with the supply shipment later that afternoon. 

Ash knew what Raine was speaking of from her vision; it was an all too familiar scenario.  She had a recurring vision under hypnosis of walking down a dirt path and passing by a “Chocobo Crossing” marker.  There was always a sign in the distance, worn and faded, and made of wood.  No matter how hard she tried, Raine was never able to see the distressed text.   It frustrated them both-but for different reasons. 

Raine was hopeful it would be a clue about her origins.  Ash discerned the sign more than likely was the welcoming emblem to Winhill.  He knew he could never reveal that information to Raine, and it exasperated him to no end.  Even though he and Raine were far away from Odine’s physical clutches, he understood that they may never be truly free.  Odine’s ears were always to the ground, and even though he was ominously clear about severing all ties with one another, the aging doctor couldn’t help but obsess about Odine’s grasp on him.  He had been suspicious since the first moment that he and Raine had arrived that the complex had been bugged so the conniving Odine could keep tabs on him.  Even after all these years, he still couldn’t shake the feeling of spying.  Odine’s were seared into Ash’s brain.

  _“If you ever reveal anything to Mizz Raine, you vill be dealt vith.”_

Over the past twelve years, the pair had settled into a comfortable and quiet life.  Ash was still very much in love with Raine, but when she showed absolutely no interest in him during the “birthday incident,” he backed off.  Yes, he was lonely at times and craved the attention of the opposite sex.  He went out on occasion to “establishments” that catered to certain customers to satisfy his needs, with Raine none the wiser.  Ash never felt the need for a wife or girlfriend; his “acquaintances” were more than adequate.  He knew that a woman just wouldn’t understand the complex relationship that he and Raine shared.  Nevermind his exile to the desert. 

After Raine’s vision about the birth of her child, she obsessed over it, and it was almost unbearable for Ash to hold his tongue and not divulge any information to her.  The lab had never been given specifics from Barclay, only that the child had died as well.  It was a good thing Odine’s threats kept his mouth in place, because Ash knew the revelation of her child’s death would crush her. 

Even though fifteen years had passed since she had been found, Raine found solace in knitting baby blankets and booties her forgotten child, even though he would have no need for them as a teenager.  It comforted her, helped her hold tightly to a memory that had become very precious to her.  She had never been able to recall the boy’s name, despite countless hours of hypnosis and therapy.  It was something that haunted her every day, as did Laguna’s death. 

She still had yet to set foot in Esthar, much to her initial disappointment.  It always seemed like there was some epidemic, uprising or disaster that prevented them from going.  None of it was true, as Ash had become very proficient in coming up with reasons why they couldn’t go to the gleaming city.  She understood that it was a booming metropolis, with many real dangers.  Raine became very afraid of the city at some point, and abandoned all interest in ever visiting.  She felt safe and protected in their complex, and never wanted for anything. 

“Dammit, I can’t read the sign!”  Raine exhaled sharply, snapping Ash out of his thoughts.  The doctor could tell that his patient was frustrated and decided to bring her out of the trance.  Giving her a moment to right herself, Ash sifted in his seat before speaking.

“Stupid sign again, huh?”

“You got that right.  Damn, and I thought for sure I was going to be able to read it this time.” 

“Raine, I know you don’t want to hear it, but you need to face the real possibility that you may never be able to read the sign.”

The woman scowled at him, blowing an errant lock of hair out from in front of her eyes.  “How can you say that, Ash?  You yourself said there is no limit to what hypnosis can help recover.”

“I don’t want to discourage you, Raine.  I just want you to realize that as you age, it is possible that some memories will become less and less accessible.”

Raine thought on his words for a moment.  “I guess that’s a polite way of telling me that I’m getting old?”  She smiled, faint creases appearing at the corners of her eyes. 

“You and me both, kiddo.”

The two ended their session with no progress made, and Raine reminded Ash that dinner would be later than usual that night; she was trying out a new recipe. 

As the afternoon wore on, Ash caught up on updating some files for a while before venturing outside to the gate at three o’clock.  He waited for several moments, giving himself enough time to enjoy a secret smoke.  The telltale dust cloud of an approaching vehicle caught his attention as he stepped on the discarded butt of his cigarette.

Ash would place orders via internet, and the supplier would deliver them every six weeks like clockwork.  Ash used a pseudonym to conceal his identity when purchasing and accepting orders, as he was instructed to do by Odine.

“’Afternoon, Mr. Campbell,” the delivery man greeted. 

Ash acknowledged the balding old man with a handshake.  It amused Ash to be addressed as “Mr. Campbell,” as it was a name he had pilfered from the crabby old algebra teacher he had in secondary school back in Timber.

When the boxes were unloaded from the back of the trailer, the short old man spoke up.  “Hold on a sec, Mr. Campbell.  I have some mail for you, I think.”

“You think?”

The man reached through the open passenger side window in the truck’s cab and grabbed a large envelope.  “Yeah, it’s not addressed to you specifically, but the address matches.  There’s no name on it.”

Ash accepted the envelope as the older man wiped sweat from his bald head.  “Thanks, Rex.  See you in six weeks.”

The older gentleman got back in his truck and pulled away from the complex, waving backwards out the window as he disappeared into the midday sun.  Ash tucked the envelope under his arm and began to move the mountain of supplies into the lab.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

It wasn’t until halfway through that night’s dinner of Shumi-style vegetable casserole that Ash remembered the mystery envelope he had discarded on his office desk in his rush to make the evening meal.  He excused himself after the dishes had been cleared and headed back to his office.  The letter-sized envelope was sitting on his desk, carelessly thrown on the top of a stack of papers. He hadn’t noticed before, but it was emblazoned with the official seal of the President of Esthar. 

Ash immediately tensed at the sight of Loire’s name under the official mark.  He began to feel flushed as his mind raced over possible scenarios as to why a certified communication from the President would be arriving on his doorstep.  His mind instantaneously turned to Odine, and he had a sinking feeling he had been ratted out.  He quickly calmed his nerves as he reminded himself that Odine would go down with him if Loire found out about Project Perfect Phoenix, and the sniveling little doctor would never throw himself under the train that easily.

Deciding he had to see what was contained inside, he tore the envelope open and pulled out a letter scribed on official Presidential letterhead.

**Doctor William Ash,**

**It has come to my attention that you have been engaging in unethical experiments, including: experimentation on children, the occult and vampirism.**

**Considering the circumstances, I have no other option than to expel you from the Science Ministry and the scientific community at large, as well as the city of Esthar.  I hope your banishment will be an example to others who are considering participating in such nefarious endeavors.  I cannot have such a horrible blemish mar the pristine reputation of Esthar’s fine scientific community.**

**Attempting to enter the city will result in your immediate arrest.  Your further penalty is to live out your days in the desert, knowing your own actions caused this outcome, and you are the only one to blame for this happening.**

**Do not reply to this message, as it will be seen by this office as a threat and you will be prosecuted.**

**President Laguna Loire**

The looping signature of the President was burned into Ash’s brain as the letter dropped from his hands and fluttered to the floor.  The doctor struggled to comprehend what he had just read. 

_“Experimentation on children?  Vampirism?  It’s all lies!  How could I be accused of such horrible things?”_

He stood behind his desk shaking.  With this banishment, he would lose what little contact he had left with the outside world.  The fact that it was based on erroneous information infuriated him.  Ash had always held a bit of contempt for Laguna Loire within himself, for it was because of him that Raine would never feel love for him.  Now he hated the man with every fiber of his being.  He clenched his fists, nails digging small crescents into the palms of his hands. 

He could never defend himself against these false claims, or he would be imprisoned and possibly executed for his long-time participation in Project Perfect Phoenix, as well as holding Raine there with him, and keeping knowledge from her that would ultimately restore her former life.

Laguna had always seemed like a compassionate man to Ash, but when love was involved, even the most caring and sympathetic man could be swayed.  Ash knew that he would pay dearly if anything about Project Perfect Phoenix were to ever be revealed.

His anger with Laguna rose with each beat of his heart, and his sanity was slowly leaking from his mind.  The part of his brain that had contemplated attacking and killing Odine years prior was back with a vengeance, and had all but wiped out the submissive, unassuming Ash that had once existed.  The new man left in the wake of the fury was vicious and relentless, seeking vendetta with an animalistic instinct, like a fiend that had just smelled fresh blood. 

He began to envision a violent and gruesome death for Laguna at his own hands.  He wanted the man to suffer for sealing his fate in the barren Esthar wastelands.  It quickly dawned on Ash, however, that just couldn’t stroll up to the President and murder him in cold blood.  He wouldn’t even make it one step into the city without being arrested.

His mind worked feverishly for many tense, long moments, until he had an epiphany.  Ash turned to gaze out over the desert towards the gleaming city in the distance.  An evil smirk graced across his lips.  He had just come up with the perfect plan.  Ash vowed then and there to get even with Laguna Loire and make the rest of his life-however short it was to be-a living hell.  Even if it took until Ash’s last dying breath, he would see to it that Laguna suffered more than any human had ever agonized before.   This would be the ultimate punishment for banishing him, punishment for holding Raine’s heart and love when Ash felt that it should belong to him.  If he couldn’t have Raine, then both she and Laguna would pay dearly.

An internal darkness fell over Ash’s eyes and the last remaining speck of the once caring and compassionate doctor was erased from existence.  He realized that he had the perfect weapon in which to complete his crusade:  Raine.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“The letter has been received, Doctor Odine.”

The tiny, aging doctor lifted his attention from his microscope to acknowledge the messenger.

“Good.”  He shooed the young man away and focused himself back to the single-celled organisms he was studying.

Ash wasn’t the only one who had been planning.  Odine had sent the letter, forged on official letterhead of the President, to Ash.  The President’s office, and ultimately the man himself, had no idea of the “banishment.”  There had never been any unethical practices on Ash’s part, as the letter had accused.  Odine wanted to make sure that all of Ash’s anger towards him for forcing their separation was once and for all focused elsewhere, and the President seemed like the perfect target.  Odine knew Ash had a violent streak-as shown by his outburst in the doctor’s office all those years ago.  If Ash was foolish enough to act out on his newfound fury against the President, not only would he be punished for his actions, but could also take all the blame for Project Perfect Phoenix.  Odine knew Ash would never be so stupid as to try and implicate him as a part of the clandestine project, and even if he did, no one would take his word over the legendary doctor’s.

Satisfied that Ash was now sufficiently taken care of and would no longer haunt the back of his mind, Odine changed the slides in his microscope and fixated once again on the microscopic creatures swimming aimlessly in the drop of water they inhabited.

 

_A/N:  Shout out to Bruce Campbell…purveyor of awesomeness for decades._ _J_


	17. Phoenix Chapter Sixteen

Phoenix:  Chapter Sixteen

_“Raine, honey, come inside.  You shouldn’t be standing in the rain.  If you catch a cold it could be bad for the baby.”_

_Patting her bulging belly, the young woman obliged returned to the flower shop.  The old woman who owned the business shook her finger at her in a scolding manner.  “What were you doing, anyway?”_

_Raine went back to arranging the vase she had been working on.  Sighing, she reluctantly answered her elder.  “It’s nothing.  I guess I was just hoping…”_

_The old woman scowled and pursed her lips.  “You were hoping that he would come back.”_

_Raine diverted her eyes from the gaze of the woman, embarrassed._

_“Honey, he’s not coming back.  The sooner you forget about him, the easier it will be to move on with your life.  He probably got scared off when he realized marriage was forever.  Stupid soldier.”_

_Raine was about to defend Laguna against the woman’s harsh criticism when a lightning bolt struck and sizzled down through the roof, hitting the old woman.  Instead of vaporizing her on the spot, it continued to electrocute her, making her hair stand on end and her flesh begin to burn._

_To Raine’s horror, her eyes turned blood-red and the body of the old woman began to pulsate, as if creatures that had burrowed under her skin were struggling to break free.  Her form grew to three times its original size and her skin color turned to a putrid green.  Her face contorted into a hideous mass of pustules and scabs before assuming its final form as a giant hideous beast with dripping fangs and jagged horns.  Two extra arms sprouted from the creature’s back, claws glistening with a sticky iridescent slime.  The monster shrieked and attempted to gain its footing, as the woman’s feet had now been replaced with hooves._

_Raine screamed in horror and backed up, praying she would make it to the door.  Where she expected to contact the entryway with her back, she only found herself sinking into a soft, moist alcove.  The room instantly changed, it ceased to be a small town flower shop and was instead now a dreadful dungeon with walls that seemed to be alive and pulsing, made of flesh._

_She felt an inhuman arm, spiked and white-hot, snake around her chest, holding her in place.  “Give me your baby!” the fiend roared, shuffling towards Raine as she struggled against the restraining limb, frantically trying to free herself._

_The monster was inches from her now, and the hand closest to Raine had morphed into a blade, rusty and bent.  “Your baby belongs to me now!”_

_Just as the rotten blade began to pierce the skin of Raine’s round belly…_

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Ash was awakened by a blood-curdling scream from across and down the hall.  He bolted towards Raine’s apartment, knowing all too well what he was going to find.

He threw open the door to her bedroom to find her thrashing, tangled in the blankets of her bed.  She was screaming hysterically, her hands clawing in the air at some unseen force.

“Raine!”  Ash grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her.  He had practice with this occurrence, and had learned over time how to rouse her.  “Raine!  Wake up!”

Her eyes suddenly shot open and one of her flailing arms caught Ash on the side of his face, knocking his glasses to the floor.  Holding Raine steady with one arm, he grabbed his glasses from the ground with the other and returned them to their perch on his nose.  He resumed his grip on her shoulders and held tight until the terror subsided from his patient.

Soon, her trembling stopped and Raine’s body relaxed.  She slumped forward, pulling her knees up to rest her head on.

“Same dream again, wasn’t it?”

Raine raised her head, puffy eyes meeting his.  “I can’t take much more of this, Ash.  The thought of this dream happening this frequently makes me terrified to even go to sleep.”

Ash patted her hand gently.  “I can’t imagine how horrible this is for you.  I’ve never had a recurring nightmare, thank Hyne.”  Ash was the picture of compassion.  Inside he beamed at this development.  He was one step closer to putting his vendetta into action.

“Why don’t you make yourself some tea and then try and get back to sleep.  We’ll try some more hypno-therapy in the morning and we’ll see if we can’t make some progress in getting rid of this nasty dream.”

Raine flopped back on to her bed and sighed.  “Can’t you give me sleeping pills or something?”

Ash shook his head.  “Prescription sleep meds would only make your dreams more vivid, and that is something we definitely don’t need.”  He was playing the part of the concerned and attentive physician very well.  While his outer persona was soothing his exhausted and frustrated patient, the inner demon that had recently taken up residence was scheming and enjoying every minute of the woman’s despair.  Ash couldn’t wait to get back to his lab and continue his work.

“I’ll start your kettle on my way out.  You gonna be ok?”

Raine shooed him away with a flick of her wrist.  “Don’t worry about crazy ‘ol me.  Hopefully you can get some sleep.”  She flung her forearm over her eyes.  “Sorry I woke you up again.”

“Don’t worry about it.  See you in the morning-actually, this morning,” he chuckled.  His small joke fell on deaf ears.

Ash let himself out and instead of making the short trek across and down the hallway to his suite; he ducked down a rarely used service corridor.  He passed several supply rooms and the boiler facility until he reached a metal door with a radiation warning posted on the outside.  There was no danger, as Ash had placed the fake sign there as a deterrent on the off chance that Raine would wander that way into the complex.  He only visited this surreptitious area in the wee hours of the morning, when he was confident Raine wouldn’t notice.  Ash punched a key code into a small pad recessed into the doorframe and the door slid open.

The secret lab he had set up for himself was quite small, with only enough room for his workbench and a few pieces of electrical equipment.  A laptop sat atop the worktop, surrounded by tiny tools and a magnifying lens mounted on a swing arm.  He sat on the high stool in front of the work area and donned a pair of rubber gloves, mindful of fingerprints.  Ash opened a small metal box and retrieved an earpiece, no bigger than an almond.  He positioned it on a small pedestal underneath the magnifying glass and switched on a small, bright light underneath.  Working with surgeon’s precision, he installed the last of the small microchips.  There were several of these information devices, all loaded with calming sounds and music.  All but this last one.

His goal was to convince Raine that the device would help her sleep, by projecting soothing noises and melodies directly into her ear.  What she would never know was that there was a small bio-sensor embedded in the guts of the mechanism that would detect when she entered into REM sleep, the perfect time for subliminal messaging to take hold. 

This last chip to be installed contained the most vital component of Ash’s sinister plan.  He had recorded a message days before, making sure his voice was clear and strong, so there was no confusion in the mission objective.  Ash knew this process of seeding information in Raine’s brain could possibly take years, but it was time well spent in his mind.  He needed this undertaking to go off without a hitch.  The communiqué was broken into multiple parts; each being triggered to broadcast after a certain amount of time had passed. 

As Ash snapped the chip into place, he smirked.  It felt as if he were placing the first of many nails into Laguna’s coffin.  He fastened the housing cover to the device with a tiny screw and marveled at his achievement.  He placed the device into the box and readied it for Raine by attaching a pink bow on top. 

He would present it to her tomorrow, under the guise of a sleep aid, and unbeknownst to her, she would begin to play her vital role in the demise of Laguna Loire.

“Rot in Hell, Loire.” 

 

_A/N:  Anyone catch the Phantasy Star IV reference?_


	18. Phoenix Chapter Seventeen

Phoenix: Chapter Seventeen

                “Did you ever get back to sleep last night?”  Ash entered the dining room and was greeted by the aroma of sizzling bacon and eggs. 

A very tired looking Raine turned from the stove.  Her eyes were somewhat sunken, with dark circles underneath.  Her usually smiling face was drawn and sullen.  She was a textbook example of exhaustion.

“No.  I just sat and watched TV.”

With his small gift hidden behind his back, Ash seated himself at the table and set the present on the chair next to him, under the table.  “You didn’t have to make this big breakfast if you were so tired, you know.  I would have been just fine eating cold cereal.”

Raine plopped a plate of food down in front of Ash and then seated herself.  She didn’t make an attempt to eat; instead she pushed her eggs around on her plate with a piece of toast.

With a slice of bacon hanging from his mouth, Ash reached to the seat next to him and produced a box.  He held it out in front of himself, wiggling it at Raine.

“What’s that?”

Ash painted his face with a super-sweet and sincere smile.  He was excited to give her the device.  He wanted his plan to begin.  Raine, of course didn’t know the truth behind his grin.

“I hope it’s the cure for your troubles.”

Raine eyed him suspiciously as she grabbed the box from Ash’s hand.  “I doubt whatever is in here will save me, Ash.”  She plucked the pink decoration from the lid.  “What’s with the bow?”

Ash smiled softly.  “Even the most practical of gifts deserve a little dressing up, don’t you think?”

Raine mustered a small crooked smile.  “You’re silly.”  She opened the box slowly, to reveal the tiny ear bud.  Using her fingers as pincers, the pulled the small device out of the container.  She held it up if front of her face, her eyes crossing as she tried to focus on the tiny machine.

“A hearing aid?  I’m not _that_ old, Ash.”  She cocked a small sly grin as she placed it back on the cotton batting it had been resting on. 

Ash rose and moved to the other side of the table to stand behind Raine.  He removed the mechanism from the box.  “It’s an ear bud to help you sleep.  Here, let me.”

Ash moved the hair from in front of Raine’s left ear, disturbing it just enough to release the subtle aroma of her shampoo.  He inhaled slightly, losing himself for a split second in the floral scent.  He gently nestled the device in her ear, which automatically turned on.  “It will turn on and off by itself.  Just bring it back to me when the little green light turns red for a new battery.”

“I hear birds.  And…rain?”

He moved to sit in the vacant chair beside her.  “They are calming sounds, white noise.  Studies have shown that noises like these can help with sleep problems and ease nightmares.”

Raine fiddled with the piece, trying to fit it more comfortably into her ear.

“It’s kind of annoying.”  She sat for a long moment, intently listening to the sounds emanating from the device.

“You’ll get used to it after a while.  The sounds will change each night, and I even programmed some soothing music into it.”

Raine removed the device from her ear and placed it carefully back into the box.  “I guess I’ll try anything to get rid of those horrible dreams.”  She sighed and scooped up a forkful of eggs.  “Thanks Ash.”

He took his seat once again and the pair finished their breakfast in silence.  Ash’s thoughts ran again and he found himself lost in the demise of Laguna.  Tonight, Raine would hear the first of the messages designed to brainwash her.  This first phrase, the trigger, was the most important part of the whole system.  Without the prompt, there could be no follow-through.  Raine would hear the trigger phrase for months every night without fail.  It would be seared into her subconscious, lying dormant until the perfect moment.  Ash also knew that, more than likely, the calming sounds would in fact help with her night terrors, and Raine would finally get some sleep.  He just had to convince her that the ear bud needed to be a permanent part of her night’s sleep.

He found himself imagining Laguna, lying in a pool of blood, on the floor of the presidential palace.  His lips twitched ever so slightly at the gruesome image, knowing that in the future it would become reality.  Ash was very confident in his invention and his ideas, and knew that if he was patient and let the messaging take hold, that he could ruin their lives forever.  That would be payback enough for him.

Looking up as he finished the last of his breakfast, Ash reminded, “Now, you need to sleep with that in your ear from now on.  Even if the dreams subside, it needs to be a part of your routine.  It’ll give you a more restful night’s sleep and peace of mind.”

“Yeah, okay.”  Raine reached for Ash’s plate.  “You done?”

Ash wiped his mouth and placed his napkin on the plate as Raine lifted it away from him.  “Superb, and the bacon was extra crispy, just the way I like it.”  He watched as she disappeared into the kitchen.  Immediately his mind began to wander again, into his imagined future where both Loires would pay the ultimate price for ever crossing him.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Raine brushed her long hair, loosening a few tangles that had taken up residence during the course of the day.  The long strokes of her brush soothed her.  She watched in the mirror as her hair became smooth.  Satisfied that all the knots were gone, she set the brush down and reached for a small pot of eye cream.  Raine was pleased that even in her late thirties, at least that’s how old Ash had said he thought she was, that she had retained a rather youthful appearance.  She still had no signs of gray in her auburn mane.  Her eyes were graced by a small cluster of crow’s feet at the corners, but the eye cream was helping to soften them.  She speculated that her exercise routine and martial arts had a bit to do with her excellent health, but she often wondered if it was genetic.  She longed for a memory of her parents and extended family, but it seemed as the years flew by, her brain was intent to keep said memories locked away.

Raine’s mind often wandered during this quiet nighttime ritual.  She dreamed of Laguna, tried to envision what he would have looked like now, had he still been alive.  Raine imagined as a virile, lean man, still muscular even though he was aging.  She always pictured him with a slight tinge of gray in his dark hair.  She had been glad, all those years ago when she saw him on the television, that his hair was still long, like it was in her memories.  She could still see the youthful glint in his eyes as he smiled at her from her mind.

Raine dabbed the peach-colored cream under and around her eyes, blending it in with her finger.  Her mind jumped to thoughts of her baby son, still nameless in her memories. She wondered about what he was doing right at that moment.  He had to be a teenager by now.  Raine hoped wherever he was that he was safe, and that he had a good family.  She tried to imagine who he would take after in appearance.  Laguna had such chiseled features, and she dreamed that her son would look like his father.

When all the elixir was absorbed into her skin, she closed the small jar and turned off her vanity light.  She sat in the darkness for a moment, gazing out at the Lunar Gate.  The complex had become a source of comfort to her at night, illuminating her dark room.  She was fascinated by the fact that people used it to rocket themselves into space.  She imagined what it would be like to see the planet from orbit.  She heard the telltale “whoomp” of a capsule being launched, and it prompted her to go to her bed.

She snuggled herself under the covers and reached for the small box Ash had given her that morning.  She positioned the small device in her ear and wiggled it around until it felt situated correctly.

It immediately switched on, and Raine heard the soft sounds of a babbling brook.  It wasn’t loud enough to keep her from falling asleep, but just enough to soothe her.  She kissed her forefinger and placed it on the photo of Laguna.  She switched off her bedside lamp and exhaled deeply as he head hit the pillow.  Her eyes fluttered closed and she prayed that her dreams would be un-haunted that night.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_Raine dropped a blueberry into her basket, and then popped two into her mouth.  They were so sweet and juicy._

_She moved through the forest, picking berries as she went.  There was a castle in the distance, colorful banners billowing in the afternoon winds.  Raine looked down at herself, and noticed she was wearing a regal purple gown, reminiscent of historical royalty._

_She continued down the path, eventually entering into a clearing.  Peasants along the roadside bowed and curtseyed to her._

**[[[WE ARE WATING FOR THE MANAGER TO GIVE US PASSAGE.]]]**

_A child ran up to her with a bouquet of wildflowers and shyly handed them to her.  Raine smiled and rewarded the girl with a palmful of berries.  The little one graciously accepted her treat rushed back to her family and shared her bounty._

_Raine smiled and continued to the castle.  Guards bowed to her she crossed the drawbridge._

**[[[WE ARE WATITING FOR THE MANAGER TO GIVE US PASSAGE.]]]**

_She walked through the courtyard, which was abloom with spring flowers.  Raine grazed her hand lightly across the tops of red tulips as she passed them by, reveling in their velvety feel.  She came to a bench where she sat down, smoothing out her flowing dress.  She popped a blueberry into her mouth and looked upwards to the sky, where two hawks were circling._

**[[[WE ARE WAITING FOR THE MANAGER TO GIVE US PASSAGE.]]]**

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Raine awoke with the dawn the next morning, feeling more rested than she had felt in weeks.  She sat up and turned to look out of her window, and watched as the sun peeked over the horizon.

Her hand felt her left ear and gently removed the tiny device embedded there.  She stared at it for a moment, smiling.  Raine couldn’t believe that it had actually helped her sleep.  She had been very skeptical at first that this small mechanism would actually save her from her wretched dreams.

She replaced it in the box and carefully put it in the drawer of her nightstand.  She stepped out of bed and stretched, enjoying her well rested sensation.

Raine quickly dressed and decided that she would make biscuits for breakfast with the extra time the sunrise had gifted her.  She was blissfully unaware that there was a message swimming around in her brain.

A message that would change her life forever.


	19. Phoenix Chapter Eighteen

Phoenix:  Chapter Eighteen

                _Two months have passed.  Raine’s nightmares have subsided somewhat, although they have not gone away entirely.  She dutifully wears her earpiece every night, with hopes that her horrible dreams will once and for all leave her night’s sleep._

_Ash’s plan is still in progress, with the messaging due to switch within the next few weeks…_

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“What made you decide to have our session out here?  We haven’t done this in ages!”

Ash and Raine stood in a small courtyard near the back of their complex.   It was spring, and even though they were living in the middle of a desert, Raine had managed to successfully cultivate vegetables, fruit and flowers.  A cool, dry breeze blew in from the open roof, rustling Raine’s hair from her shoulders and blowing it around her face.

“It’s a beautiful day; I thought we should take advantage of it.  It’ll help us both to relax.”  Ash motioned Raine to a cloth-covered lounge chair. 

“In a minute, ok?  Just let me water these beans first.”  Raine retrieved a watering can and gently sprinkled the budding plants. 

Ash watched her movements, lost in the way she could perform even the most mundane of tasks with such grace.  It seemed to the doctor that she effortlessly swung the heavy, water-laden can up and down the rows of plants.  He wondered to himself if, when the time came, she would be able to carry out her mission with the same elegance.  He chuckled inwardly.  Never had such a phrase been attributed to assassination, as far as he knew.  He did know, however, that it would truly be grand.  He took a long gulp of his iced tea and waited for Raine to finish.

“There you go, little beans.  Enjoy your drink!”  Raine rinsed her hands with what little water was left in the can and dried them on her pants.  Finally she seated herself on the lounger.  “A few weeks and we’ll have a bean harvest!”

Ash began his hypnotic countdown and saw that Raine had easily relaxed this time around.  Before he even had a chance to start his questioning, Raine offered some information.

“It’s dark…there are millions of stars in the sky!”  She sighed contentedly.  “It’s kind of cool out here, but it’s just so beautiful that I don’t mind it.”

“Can you tell me a little more about your surroundings?  Any houses or buildings?  People?”

Raine hesitated.  “I’m in a field.  There’s a grassy hill in the distance.  It reminds me of…”  She paused, and a look of deep concentration came over her face. 

Ash sat forward in his chair.  “It reminds you of what?” 

Raine’s expression changed, and was no longer contemplative.  It had been replaced by a content smile.  “It reminds me of the hill in my dream.  You know, the one from all those years ago…when I held the baby.  I think it’s the same place.”  She turned her head to the left, as if she were looking for something.  “It is the same hill…I’m sure of it.  I see the tree that was struck by lightning.”

“Go over by it.”  Ash wanted to see if approaching the tree would evoke any sort of memory, good or bad.

Raine hesitated.  “N-no…that’s okay.  I really don’t want to go over there.”  The pensive look on her face had returned. 

“Do it for me?”  Ash wanted her to go near the tree, if for nothing more than morbid curiosity.  Maybe the horrid vision would return, and there would be a need for him to comfort her.  He tried to find any way to get close to her without her becoming suspicious.  He loved holding her in his arms, if only for the few fleeting moments of time when he was showing support.  Or, perhaps it would trigger more nightmares.  Whatever the outcome, Ash wanted to see what the effects on Raine would be.  He needed her to be more agitated and unhappy.  The more distressed she became, the easier it would be in the long run--when she was finally allowed to leave.  Ash smirked at the thought of releasing Raine, knowing how much initial joy it would bring her, and eventually extreme heartbreak.

“I don’t want to, Ash.”  Her tone was stern and stubbornness dominated her demeanor. 

Ash huffed and sat back in his chair.  “Fine, don’t do it then.”  His tone was curt.  “What else do you see?”

Raine was silent for a moment before her beaming grin returned.  “Laguna!  He’s here!”

Ash rolled his eyes at the mention of that name.  He hated seeing how Raine’s face lit up when she talked about him.  The look of utter bliss that accompanied her words made Ash want to scream.

“Wait…he’s turning away from me…”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_“Laguna?”_

_The man in front of Raine startled slightly at the sound of her voice._

_“Laguna?  Why did you want me to meet you way out here for?  What are you up to?”_

_He turned to face her, an apprehensive look on his face.  She noticed he was clutching something tightly in his right hand._

_“What’s with you?  You’ve been acting really strange lately.”_

_Laguna scratched the side of his neck and chuckled anxiously._

_Raine cocked her head.  “Why are you so nervous?”_

_A stunned look crossed Laguna’s face.  “Wh-what makes you think I’m nervous?”_

_Raine arched and eyebrow.  “You’re scratching your neck.  It’s your tell, you know.”_

_Lowering his hand, he began to fiddle with whatever object was residing there.  He looked at Raine, then to his feet._

_“Laguna Loire!”  Raine crossed her arms over her chest.  “It’s cold out here, so what’s so important that you had to drag me out into the middle of a field?  Couldn’t we have done…whatever this is…in the house?”_

_Laguna’s shoulders slumped slightly, his bravery seeping out of his pores.  “Ahhh, it’s nothin’.  Nevermind.”  He turned his back on a confused and slightly annoyed Raine and took a few steps away._

_“What’s the matter with you?  You’re being weird.”_

_Laguna stopped short upon hearing her voice.  All at once, his bravado came charging back.  “It’s now or never, Loire,” he muttered to himself.  Inhaling deeply, he turned to face Raine, grabbing her left hand in the process.  Wordlessly, he slipped a gleaming silver band on to her petite finger._

_Raine gazed down at her newly-accessorized finger in disbelief.  She had no capacity for words at that moment, so she merely exhaled sharply as she raised her hand to her face.  She stared at the ring, unable to form a coherent response.  Her eyes finally met Laguna’s face, which was graced with a boyish smile._

_“Laguna?  Wh-what is this?”_

_He smiled tenderly and raised his own left hand to show her.  There, mirroring her own finger, was an identical silver ring.  “Marry me, Raine.”_

_She crashed her body into his, wrapping her arms tightly around his muscular frame.  She buried her face into his bicep.  “Yes,” she breathed._

_Laguna nuzzled his chin into her hair.  Her tears of joy soaked his shirtfront.  “I love you, Raine.”_

_“And I love you, Laguna.”_

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Raine cradled her left hand in her right one, tracing an imaginary line with her finger where her wedding ring would have been.  She had a look of utter joy on her face.

Ash sat and sulked at the image Raine’s vision had produced for him.  He felt the bile rise in his throat at the mere thought of the two lovebirds so happy together.  He applied steady pressure to the pencil in his hand with his thumb and forefinger until it finally snapped like a twig.

Raine spoke again, breaking Ash out of his thoughts.  “We’re sitting by a little stream now…it’s cold on my toes!”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX

 

_They sat on the banks of a small brook, dipping their feet into the frigid water._

_“Geez Raine!  This water’s icy somethin’ fierce!”  Laguna pulled his feet out and began to massage his frozen toes with his hands, trying to warm them up._

_“Don’t be such a baby.”  Raine splashed water back at Laguna, dousing his legs and abdomen._

_“Hey!  Cut that out, or you’ll be swimmin’ in a second!”_

_“You wouldn’t dare, Loire.”_

_“Yeah, you’re right.  I wouldn’t.”  He wrapped his arm around his new fiancée and lightly kissed the top of her head.  The pair sat in silence, holding each other for what seemed like hours.  Nocturnal birds sang their haunting melodies from all directions, and the night breeze carried with it the faint aroma of wildflowers._

_The peace was finally broken by a soft feminine voice.  “Where do you want to get married?”_

_Confused, Laguna responded, “Huh?  Well…right here, of course.”  He felt Raine curl in tighter into his embrace.  “What, you don’t want to get married here?”_

_Raine sighed.  “It’s not that.  I would like nothing more than to get married in this village, it’s just…”_

_Laguna slumped his shoulders.  He knew what she was going to say next.  It was no secret that the residents of the small hamlet didn’t see much good with him.  All they saw was a stranger—an injured soldier who had stolen the heart of their golden girl.  “…It’s just that you don’t think the villagers would be too happy with it.”_

_Raine peered up at him.  “I just want the day to be perfect.”  She straightened up and took Laguna’s hands in her own.  “I don’t want there to be any drama.  The villagers can be…”_

_“Jerks?”_

_Raine chuckled and sighed.  “Sure, okay.  Jerks.  I want this to be special, and I don’t want to always be thinking in the back of my mind if someone’s going to make a scene.”  She looked down at their joined hands and spun Laguna’s ring around on his finger._

_“I’m sure you are well aware of how the residents feel about you, and how protective they are of me.  I just…”_

_Laguna cupped Raine’s chin and pulled her face up to look at his own.  “Whatever you want, however you want this to happen…we’ll do it.  I’ll make it happen.  I just want to marry you and start our life together.  It doesn’t matter where it happens or how many people are okay with it.”_

_He kissed her lips softly.  “All that matters is that we love each other and the Universe knows it!  I’m pretty sure we want to spend the rest of our lives together, right?  Who knows, we might even have tons of kids someday!”_

_Raine patted him on the chest.  “Now, don’t get ahead of yourself, Loire.”  She embraced him once again and intertwined her fingers into his long dark hair.  “I sure do love you, Laguna.”_

_He inhaled the soft vanilla scent of her hair.  “So when do you want to do this?  I hope soon, ‘cause I’m dyin’ to have some cake!”_

_XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX_

Raine embraced herself by crossing her arms around her body.  She smiled from ear-to-ear.  “Hyne, I wish I could remember the name of the village.  It’s like my mind enjoys keeping vital information from me.”

Ash was wringing his hands together anxiously, not wanting to hear any more about her happy vision.  Irrational thoughts began to float through his mind, ones where he envisioned himself in Laguna’s position proposing to Raine, kissing her passionately.  The images soon turned to ones of violence, where he was stabbing Laguna in the back of the neck just as he was about to meet Raine in the field.  Ash knew that he was nearing his breaking point for the day and was trying to hurry and end the session.  He had to get a drink and smoke.

“Raine, I think we’ve done enough for today, and I think…” he forced himself to sound sincere.  “…that we’ve made some wonderful progress that we can expand on tomorrow.”

Raine, still deep within her hypnotic state, pleaded, “No, please Ash!  I want to keep going.  I have to see if I can get to my wedding.  It might be my only chance!”

Ash snarled at the suggestion.  The last thing he wanted to hear about was their nuptials. 

“Please Ash!”

The doctor exhaled long out his nose and tried to find an outlet for his growing agitation.  He spotted the glass of iced tea out of the corner of his eye sitting on the small patio table next to him.  The image of Raine and Laguna, happy and in love, popped back into his mind and pushed him over the edge as he lost control of his arm.  It swooped across and knocked the glass to the patio, shattering as it hit the decorative bricks.  The liquid soaked into the dry dirt in between the paving stones instantly. 

Raine startled at the noise, but did not question its source. 

“Alright, just a little while longer.  Try and relax yourself and find the memory.”  Ash decided to take his own advice and attempted to calm himself with a cleansing breath.  He couldn’t let on that he was hot and bothered; he would have no viable excuse as to why to explain to Raine.  Ash removed his spectacles, which had tinted by themselves in the bright desert sunlight, rendering them instant sunglasses.  He closed his eyes and counted to ten in an attempt to gain ground on his growing emotions.

“Ash!  There’s a little girl here, I think I’ve seen her before!  And…and there’s a…a man I’ve never seen before.  He’s tall and dark skinned…”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX

 

_A tall, dark man poked his head in the door.  “You look beautiful, Raine.”_

_“Thanks, Kiros.”_

_Raine admired herself in a full-length mirror.  She was clad in a short white dress made of lace and satin.  Roses made of cloth adorned her shoulders at the top of small capped sleeves.  She carefully arranged the white flowers scattered throughout her hair, which had been let down.  In the reflection in the mirror, she noticed an impish little girl playing with a doll on the floor behind her._

_“Sweetie, please don’t sit on the floor. You’ll get your dress dirty.”_

_The child looked up at Raine and willingly obeyed by standing up and dusting off the backside of her dress with her hands._

_“Come one, little one.  Let’s give Raine a minute to herself, okay?”  Kiros extended his hand to the small child, who eagerly grabbed for it, doll tucked neatly under her arm._

_“You look real pretty, Raine.  Like a princess.”  The little girl cocked her head and smiled._

_The pair exited the room, leaving Raine alone to primp for a moment more.  She smoothed a crease out of her dress and applied a thin coat of soft shimmering-pink lip gloss.  Satisfied that she was presentable, she grabbed a small bouquet of wildflowers and roses and exited._

_After descending the stairs, Raine found herself in the main room of the pub, which had been closed to the public for the special occasion.  The sun was just starting to set, sending the last tendrils of light cascading through the windows.  She spotted Laguna, gently rubbing his left thigh.  Raine chuckled softly and shook her head, the sound causing her fiancé to turn and face her._

_“Hyne, Raine.  You’re beautiful.”  Laguna put his hand to his chest, as if trying to catch his breath.  He extended a trembling hand to her, and she accepted and took her place at his side._

_“Laguna, you’re shaking.”  Her tone was just above a whisper.  “Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet.”_

_He squeezed her hand.  “Nah, I’m just…well…”   His hand abruptly shot to his left thigh as he yelped._

_Kiros tried to unsuccessfully hide his laughter.  “Some things never change, man.”_

_Laguna massaged his leg until the cramp subsided.  The judge who had come from Timber seemed to be getting impatient.  He adjusted his glasses with pursed lips._

_Raine giggled and patted Laguna on the back.  “You can start, your honor.  He’s just a big baby, that’s all.”_

_The little girl somehow made it into Kiros’ arms as the ceremony commenced.  The judge spoke of love and commitment, and of devotion, honor and loyalty.  Laguna and Raine held hands the whole time, gazing lovingly into one another’s eyes._

_The soft light of candles in the diminishing daylight gave the ceremony an almost heavenly aura.  “Do you, Laguna Loire, take this woman to be your wife?”_

_Laguna reached up to brush aside a stray lock of auburn hair from Raine’s face.  “I do, with all my heart.”  A single tear rolled down his cheek._

_Raine felt her own tears well up as the judge then turned his attention to her.  “And do you, Raine, take this man to be your husband?”_

_She looked to the little girl perched in the tall man’s arms, knowing that she would once again know a true family.  “I do…forever.”_

_The judge, noting that the pair was already wearing rings, made their union official.  “By the power vested in me, by the country of Galbadia, I now pronounce you man and wife.”_

_Laguna leaned in to kiss his new wife, but was thwarted by the sound of a clearing throat.  He turned to his side to find a smirking Kiros, holding the small child tightly in his strong arms._

_“No kissin’ until the old man says so, Uncle Laguna!”  The little girl emphasized her scolding by wiggling her dainty finger in the air.  She squirmed and Kiros let her down.  The tiny child came to stand next to the judge and commanded, “You better let him kiss her, mister.  Uncle Laguna isn’t very patient sometimes.”_

_Laguna scratched his neck and shrugged his shoulders.  “Well, you heard her…”_

_The judge patted the child on the head.  “May I proceed?”  She nodded in agreement.  “Good.  You may now kiss your bride.”_

_Laguna grabbed Raine around her waist and dipped her back, kissing her lips tenderly as she allowed herself to be swept off her feet…_

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX

 

“Oh, Hyne!  That little girl!  She’s the same one that threw the spider!  I wonder who she is?”  Raine’s face was aglow with delight.  “And the man, Kiros?”

Ash, however was fuming.  The very idea of a happy union between the two lovers made him want to gag.  He cringed at the idea of Laguna kissing Raine, holding her close.  He wanted to rip the memory from her mind and tear it apart, erasing it from her brain.  Where Raine viewed it as a wonderful happening, an insight into a life she once had and a memory to hold precious, Ash saw it at a jab to his own heart.  It was something he would never have, not with Raine or any other woman.

To make matters worse, he recognized the name of the man there: Kiros.  Her description of him perfectly matched the image of Kiros Seagill, the President’s Ambassador.  Now on top of Laguna knowing Raine intimately, Kiros was now in the picture as well.

As for the little girl, all of Raine’s medical records had indicated that she had only given birth to one child in her lifetime, so he had no idea who the little one might have been.  Why she had called Loire “Uncle Laguna” was a mystery that Ash didn’t feel was worth decoding.

He could feel himself becoming ill with anger and knew he had to remove himself from the situation.  He hurriedly brought Raine out of her hypnotic state and dashed away from her when she was awake.

“Ash?  Where are you going?”  She sat bolt upright in the lounger, noticing the smashed remains of the glass on the patio stones.  “What happened?”

All he could muster was, “…sick to my stomach!” as he pushed through the door into the complex, leaving a bewildered Raine to pick up the pieces of the shattered tumbler.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

 

Locked safely in his apartment with a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other, Ash began to calm himself down.  His whole body was shaking and he had already vomited twice, once out his window.  The image of Raine and Laguna saying their “I do’s” was playing on a continuous loop in his mind.

He took a swig straight from the frosted bottle, emptying it.  He dropped it carelessly to the floor and picked up a small object from his personal desktop.  He twirled the metal piece-- dart--in between his fingers, running this thumb over the soft feathers at the end.  In one fluid motion, he flicked his wrist and the dart sailed from his hand.  It arced across the room and made contact with its intended target.  A photo of Laguna docked with dozens of tiny holes was tacked to the wall.  The dart had pierced the man’s image square in the chest, right where his heart would have been.

Smirking at his direct hit, Ash formed his thumb and forefinger into the shape of a gun, much like a child playing cops and robbers would.  He made a shooting sound with his mouth. 

“Bullseye.”


	20. Phoenix Chapter Nineteen

Phoenix:  Chapter Nineteen

_Cactuars danced everywhere.  They were perched on the trees, emerging from mailboxes, peeking their heads from out of flowerpots.  Raine could hear their chatter as they came together into one group and swayed collectively.  There were thousands of them, all moving as one unit. They surrounded her and swept her along with them, their tiny spines pressing uncomfortably into her legs._

_“Where are we going?”  Her question startled the group, which came to an abrupt halt.   A tiny cactuar, no bigger than a human hand jumped up from the innards of the assembly and came to rest on Raine’s shoulder._

_“Don’t you know?  We’re going to Esthar, of course!”_

_Raine felt elated.  “Esthar?  I’d love to go to Esthar!”_

**[[[KILL]]]**

_The baby cactuar disappeared into a puff of yellow smoke, and one by one its thousands of counterparts did the same, leaving Raine alone.  Confused, she called out, as the sky turned pink and it started to rain jellybeans._

_“Where did you guys go?  Come back!”  Raine turned to look behind her, hoping to see the Cactuars.  “I want to go to Esthar!”_

_The torrent of candies was accumulating at her feet, and as she began to walk, she had to kick them away._

**[[[KILL]]]**

_Curiosity got the better of her and she reached down and scooped up a handful of the sweets.  She continued to walk while popping the candies into her mouth.  Raine continued to stroll, taking notice that all wildlife that had been present was suddenly absent, and the birds had stopped singing.  She called out, hoping to receive a response from someone—anyone.  The direction the path was leading her on began to darken and become littered with rubble.  Raine tripped over what she thought was a rock and fell forward, catching herself on outstretched arms and dropping her candy.  She sat up and rubbed her aching ankle, making sure she wasn’t seriously injured.  It was then that she realized she hadn’t tripped over a rock, but a human head._

**[[[KILL]]]**

_The head was facing away from her, but she noticed it had a gaping would in the back of the skull.  She felt ill as she noticed that the head was covered in thick, long, dark hair, much like Laguna’s._

_Raine started to back away from it, and as she did the head moved on its own and rolled to face her.  The vacant eyes of her husband stared back at her, a large exit wound where his left cheekbone once was._

_Raine screamed and covered her eyes._ _When she felt hands on her legs she dared to peek out and found Laguna’s headless body clawing at her._

**[[[KILL]]]**

_She shrieked and attempted to scoot backwards, trying desperately to get away from the abomination._

_“Help me!” the head pleaded with a gurgling voice.  “Please help me, Raine!”  The eyes turned black, obliterating any color they once had.  The mouth gaped like a fish’s sucking in air and gagging on blood that trickled out in a thin stream._

_Raine screwed her eyes shut and covered her ears.  She felt the ground below her begin to shake as the path opened up a giant crack, swallowing her into the depths of the unknown…_

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“This damn thing isn’t working Ash!”

Ash looked up as Raine walked into his office and tossed the small earpiece onto his desk.

“Is the battery dead?”

Raine sat on the small couch.  “No, but I had a terrible nightmare last night.  I thought this was supposed to help.”

Ash beamed internally at the prospect of a new nightmare, but he put his best “caring doctor” face on and asked, “What kind of nightmare?  Want to talk about it?”

“Not really…it was about Laguna…”

Once again, Ash stifled his joy.  A terrible dream about Laguna was wonderful news.  He just wished Raine would share it with him.  Ash came and sat down next to her, placing the ear bud gently on her leg.

“It’s working fine, Raine.  I told you in the beginning that it wouldn’t make the bad dreams go away completely.  Think about how bad your dreams would be if you didn’t use this?”  He tapped the small device.  “Please don’t give up on it.  I assure you, it _is_ working.”

Raine huffed and grabbed the small machine, stuffing it into her pants pocket.  “Whatever you say.”   She rose and headed to the door.  “Breakfast will be ready in an hour.”  She slumped her shoulders and exited the office. 

When he could no longer hear her footsteps echoing in the hallway, Ash opened his desk drawer and pulled out a photo of Laguna, which had been marred by two giant holes where the eyes had once been.  Taking a letter opener, he jammed it into Laguna’s toothy smile and twisted it, obliterating the grin.

“Soon, Mr. President…soon.”


	21. Phoenix Chapter Twenty

Phoenix:  Chapter Twenty

 

_A/N:  For timing…Squall is now 17, Raine is 41 and Ash is 53_

**THREE YEARS LATER**

 

_The second Sorceress War has been underway for nearly a month.  The Lunatic Pandora laboratory has been activated and the tomb of Sorceress Adel has fallen from the heavens, initiating the Lunar Cry._

_Unbeknownst to Raine, her son is fighting valiantly to save the planet--and the woman he loves.  Laguna, well aware of the identity of the young man he has just sent into battle, is reluctant to tell young Squall Leonhart of his paternity, at least until after the danger to life itself has passed._

_Raine and Ash are safe within the walls of their complex, the force fields surrounding them keeping even the fiercest of fiends away as they fall from the skies…_

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX

 

“Ash!  Look at the moon!  It…it looks alive!”  Raine stood in the courtyard, shielding her eyes from the intense red glow emanating from the satellite. 

Stepping from the doorway, Ash was immediately bathed in the red light himself.  He looked up, at what seemed to be pulsing masses of…something…on the lunar surface.  “Raine, we need to go inside.  Now.”  His tone was urgent.

Taking one last look at the moon, Raine obeyed and returned to the safety of the building.  When the door had been securely locked, Ash motioned for her to join him near a wall of windows that covered one side of the dining room.

“It’s much safer to watch from in here.”  He looked to Raine, who seemed to be fascinated by the goings-on high above.  She chewed on her fingernails.  The two watched in silence as a massive plume of monsters emerged from a bulge in the moon and began hurtling towards the planet.  Ash could have sworn that he saw the tomb of Adel being pulled along with the column as it crashed into Tears’ Point.  Dread filled him as he knew in his heart that this was the Lunar Cry. 

“Are we going to die, Ash?” 

He put his arm around Raine’s shoulders and comforted her.  “We’re perfectly safe in here.  Nothing can get in.”  He prayed internally that he was correct.  They were far enough away from the impact zone to keep the fiends, if they expanded out into the desert, away from their home for the time being.

“Do you know what is happening?” 

Raine never took her eyes off of the influx of monsters.  “I have no idea, why?  Has this happened in the past?” 

“It’s called the ‘Lunar Cry.’  It’s a phenomenon that usually only happens once every thousand years or so.  Monsters fall from the moon.  With the new war going on…”  Ash cut himself off.  He hadn’t intended on telling Raine about the Sorceress War.

“New war?”

_Shit._ Ash formulated his response.  “Unfortunately Raine, there is a war being fought right now.”  He looked up to the moon, full and red, and sighed.  “Does the phrase ‘Sorceress War’ mean anything to you?”

Raine shook her head.  “No, should it?”

“Not really, I guess.  I was hoping it would jog a memory…nevermind.”  Ash sat at the large dining table, still facing the windows and watched as Raine followed suit.  “About twenty years ago, a Sorceress named Adel became power hungry and tried to take over the world from Esthar.  Those who weren’t terrified of her attempted to fight, hence the name ‘Sorceress War.’”  Ash didn’t mention that he was very sure he saw Adel’s tomb fall with the wave of fiends.  He knew Raine was worried enough.

“This ‘Adel,’ was she defeated?”

“Yes she was…by a very brave man, Raine.  Did you ever wonder just how Laguna became President of Esthar?”  Even though Ash felt nothing but hatred for Laguna now, he begrudgingly acknowledged that he was indeed responsible for saving the world from Adel’s reign of terror.

“Laguna?  He beat her?  How is that possible?”  Raine touched the spot on her left ring finger where her wedding band would have resided.  “I mean, he’s so goofy…and he’s squeamish around blood!”  She thought a moment before amending her comment.  “But I guess he was very passionate--and that had to have helped.”

Ash hated talking about Laguna, even though he had been the one to bring him into their conversation.  “The people of Esthar needed a new leader after Adel, and he was the one who vindicated them, so…”

Raine chuckled.  “An accidental President?”

“You could say that.”

“Figures.”  Raine’s attention turned once again to the bloody moon, spewing terror from its surface.  “Are you sure we’re safe, Ash?  I’m starting to get really scared.  What if the monsters get too close?”

Ash grasped Raine’s hand and assured, “The force fields around this complex are strong enough to keep even the most pissed-off Malboros away.  We’re safe, don’t worry.”

“Okay, I trust you, Ash.”

_There’s that word again…’trust.’  If she only knew…_

The two sat in silence for hours, captivated by the spectacle that was unfolding before their eyes.  All the while Ash hoped he was right about the fields holding.  He had worked too hard on Raine to have a fiend wreck his plans now.  He just prayed that with all the chaos raining down on Esthar that Laguna would survive and be victorious once again.

Then Ash could destroy him.

 

 

_A/N:  I know these last couple of chapters have been very short, but they are VERY important!  Bear with me on these shorties…longer ones are coming!_


	22. Phoenix Chapter Twenty-one

Phoenix:  Chapter Twenty-one

_The Second Sorceress War has ended, and the world is safe again, thanks to the six Fated Children.  Laguna Loire, trying along with the people of Esthar to deal with the aftermath of the fiend infestation has decided it is time that the world knows information about his family that he has not known long…_

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Ash scrolled down through the news page on his computer screen.  Today was the day Balamb Garden was going to officially release the names of the six “Fated Children” that saved planet from the clutches of Ultimecia.  Ash marveled at how teenagers could be capable of beating such a powerful being.  But there they were, staring out from a group portrait on his monitor.  He read their names and matched their faces to them.

_Dincht.  They let a kid get tattoos like that?  Damn, those Gardens sure let a lot of stuff fly._

He scrutinized all of them, finding something about each one to pick on.  The cowboy had girly hair, the one with the whip looked like a dominatrix.  He was caught off guard when a pair of very recognizable eyes captured his own.  The young man had a familiar look to him, as if Ash had seen him before, even though he knew that wasn’t the case.  He scanned the text underneath the photo, attempting to match the face with a name.

**SeeD Commander Squall Leonhart, age 17.**

Ash immediately felt chilled to his very core.  Surely the name had to be a coincidence.  The medical records for Raine indicated that her child had died soon before she did.  Ash stared at the stern, unsmiling young man.  Even without a smile on his face, the evidence was clear to Ash.  His eyes were the same as Raine’s and his facial structure resembled Laguna’s.  He was looking at the face of Raine’s “dead” baby.  That he shared her surname was the icing on the cake.

He rubbed his stubbly morning chin and tried to calm himself.  Here, right in front of him, was another potential problem—another person with ties to Raine.

A pop-up window appearing on his screen snapped him from his thoughts.  It was a notice from a news service he subscribed to.

**PRESIDENT LOIRE TO HAVE NEWS CONFERENCE AT 9AM PERTAINING TO SeeD COMMANDER.**

Ash had a sneaking suspicion he knew what the conference was about.  If he was right, his mission had abruptly changed direction.  An evil smirk passed over Ash’s face as he noted the time: 8:45am. 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Laguna Loire and Squall Leonhart sat at a small table, surrounded by cameras and reporters.  Microphones lined the tabletop and small personal recorders were scattered around them.

The Estharian President was massaging his cramping leg underneath the table, hoping no one would notice.  Squall sat silent, unmoving, his face blank.  A voice from out of camera range spoke, “Ready whenever you are, Mr. President.”

Laguna cleared his throat.  “Good Morning, citizens of Esthar and the world.  It certainly is a beautiful day to be alive, isn’t it?”

The reporters chuckled casually; Laguna scratched the side of his neck, and Squall gave no response.    “Ahhh…I guess you’re all wondering why I called this conference, huh?”  He looked to Squall, who sat motionless and unsmiling.  Not receiving any acknowledgement from his young companion, the President spoke again.

“Well, it seems that I have been given a gift from the faeries, and I…I want to share it with the world.”  Laguna beamed from ear-to-ear and patted Squall on the shoulder, the young man visibly stiffened at the contact.

“Before the war ended, I was informed that I had a son…a son with my late wife, Raine.”  Laguna’s expression softened slightly and there was a small crack in his voice.  “I won’t go into all the details, I’m sure you will dig them up anyway.  Long story short—Squall is my son—and I couldn’t be happier or prouder.”  Laguna turned to look at his son, who continued to sit stoically.

“So…I’m sure you hounds have questions, but keep them respectful.  After all, I did lose my wife, and Squall his mother.   Be nice, okay?”  He flashed the press pool a soft grin.

The reporters began their inundation of the President and SeeD Commander.  “Mr. President, how could you not know you had a son for almost eighteen years?”

Laguna, bracing for such questions, offered a somewhat rehearsed response.  “When I left Winhill to find my niece and ended up getting involved in the Adel resistance, I had no idea that my wife was pregnant.”  He paused and struggled against his emotions.  “When I was able to finally return to the village, she was already gone, and the residents lied to me about how she had died.”  The president clenched his fists under the table.

“Look, I don’t want to speak bad about those guys, really.  They loved Raine a lot.  Me?  Not so much.  Long story short—again—Squall and my niece were sent to an orphanage in Centra but the villagers only told me Ellone had gone.  I didn’t even know he existed.”  A frown crossed Laguna’s face.

The President looked to Squall.  “Anything you want to add?”

“No.”

Another reporter questioned the young SeeD.  “Commander Leonhart, how did it feel to suddenly find out your father is the President of Esthar?”

Squall reluctantly answered.  “It was surprising.”

The reporters hung on his short words, trying to decide if he was going to elaborate.  When he didn’t offer any more information, more questions echoed through the room.

“Do you plan to move to Esthar, Commander?”

“How do you both plan to be parts of each other’s lives?”

“Commander, how do you feel about being abandoned by your father?”

Laguna fielded most of the questions, with Squall only participating when absolutely necessary.  Sensing his son was nearing his publicity limit for the day, Laguna decided to end the conference.  “Okay guys…and ladies.  Thanks for your time.  I just want to remind you all to be respectful of our privacy, got it?  The reason I decided to do this is so you don’t bug us later.  We both have very important jobs to do and I hope you can respect boundaries, okay?”  Laguna shook a mock-scolding finger at the audience with a smile.

An aide stepped in and reminded, “All further questions should be directed through the President’s office.  Please do not contact Balamb Garden.”

The two men rose and stopped momentarily for photos.  Laguna grinned and slapped Squall on the back, who steadied himself and shot his father a stern look.  As they left the conference room, Laguna waved to the cameras.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Ash sat silently in his office, staring at the emblem of the President that had replaced the live feed.  The information swirling around in his head was unbelievable.  The child he and Odine had believed to be dead was very much alive, and had just saved the world from doom.

 And he just happened to be the son of Laguna Loire.

He began to laugh quietly as he realized the tides had changed.  His laughter grew to a cackle, then a guttural guffaw, laced with sinister undertones.  He now had no reason to kill Laguna, because he had a much better weapon to make him suffer.  He bolted from his chair and ran towards Raine’s apartment.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“Hey Ash, what’s got you so excited?”

Realizing he was probably flushed, Ash attempted to calm quickly.  “Oh, it…it’s nothing.  I just decided to run down the hall—a little impromptu exercise, y’know?”  He offered a sheepish grin.

“Okay…so what’s up?”  She invited him inside and ushered him into the kitchen. 

“How’s your earpiece working?  Is the battery okay?”

Raine leaned up against the counter.  “Yeah, it’s fine.  Why do you ask?”

“Can you go get it for me?  I found some new sounds and melodies that other physicians have found to be beneficial that I’d like to upload onto it.  I’ll have it back by dinner, I promise.”

Raine held up a finger indicating for him to wait while she retrieved the ear bud.  Ash sat quietly, helping himself to a cookie from a plate on the counter.

Raine returned and handed him the small device.  “Are they good?”

With crumbs falling from his mouth, Ash responded, “They’re delicious.  Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”  He pocketed the tiny machine.

“Take a few with you.”  Raine wrapped four cookies in a sheet of paper towel and presented them to Ash. 

“Thanks Raine.  And I promise you’ll have this for bed tonight.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Ash turned on the small digital recording device in his secret workshop.  He began the digital uplink program to connect to the earpiece.  He took a few cleansing breaths and made sure his voice would be clear and concise.  This message would be the most important one to enter Raine’s psyche.  He knew it had to be heard loud and clear. 

“Kill Squall Leonhart.” 


	23. Phoenix Chapter Twenty-two

Phoenix:  Chapter Twenty-two

**Three Years Later**

                Raine kicked the well-worn punching bag with all her might.  Her thigh muscles burned as they reached their limit of use for the session.  Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, which was becoming looser with every powerful hit.  She gave the bag one final jarring kick and was startled by clapping coming from behind her.

“Ash!  How long have you been standing there?”  She grabbed a towel from a small stool and wiped her face and neck. 

“Just a minute or so.  You’re really fierce!  Now I remember why I gave up on letting you practice on me.”

Raine gulped from a bottle filled with sports drink and chided, “You’re just a wuss, Ash.”  She gave him a playful wink.

“I’m not a wuss…I’m fifty-six.  I’m not as spry as I used to be.”  He approached Raine, who had plopped down to sit on a floor mat.  Her legs were stretched out in front of her, with her arms leaning backwards, supporting her body weight.  Ash sat, and produced a small case he had been concealing behind his back.

Raine nodded in Ash’s direction.  “What’s in the box?” 

The doctor didn’t answer right away; instead he chose to fiddle with the handle of the silver box.  He flipped it up and down, clicking the plastic grip against the smooth metal of the container.  “Raine, have you ever fired a gun?”

Surprised, Raine shook her head.  “No, not that I remember.  Why?”

Ash popped the latch on his case, revealing a black 9mm handgun.  Raine instantly recoiled at the sight of the weapon.  “Guns make me nervous, Ash.”

“Don’t worry, it’s not loaded.  Yet.”  He removed it and held it out for Raine to inspect. 

“No thanks, Ash.  Not for me.”

The doctor placed the gun back in the padded interior of the box.  “I think it would be prudent for you to learn to use it…and to feel comfortable doing so.  I mean, we’re isolated out here in the middle of the desert and with all the extra monsters from the Lunar Cry still roaming about, plus the increase of criminal activity that came on the heels of the devastation…”  He hesitated for a moment, trying to sound concerned.  “--I just want you to be able to defend yourself if the need ever arises.”

Raine eyed him apprehensively.  “I…I don’t know, Ash.  I’m nervous.”

He patted her on the knee and closed the gun case.  “Come with me, okay?  I just want you to try once.  I _need_ to know that you can do this.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX 

 

Raine adjusted her sunglasses to dull the glaring desert sun.  She chuckled softly and motioned to a target at the far end of the courtyard.  “Nice target, Ash.  You draw that yourself?”

The target of which she spoke was about six feet tall, and was fashioned with a line drawing of a human.  The proportions were a bit uneven and there was even a face scribbled on the head, mean and snarling.  “I wanted it to look intimidating.”  Ash raised an eyebrow.  “Not so much?”

Raine shook her head and laughed.  “It’s not scary, but I definitely want to hurt it for some strange reason.”

Ash took the handgun from its case and proceeded to teach Raine how to load it.  “The magazine goes in here, and always make sure the safety is off before you try and fire it.  Got it?”

With trembling hands, Raine duplicated the actions Ash had just showed her and successfully loaded and readied the weapon.  Ash took it back from her.  “I’m going to take the first shot, alright?  Watch my posture and actions.  This is a 9mm, so it won’t have too much kick to it.”

Raine stood back a safe distance and covered her ears.   Ash put his finger on the trigger and fired the gun.

Raine jumped.  “I changed my mind, Ash.  I really don’t want to do this.  That thing scares me.”

Engaging the safety once more, Ash turned to Raine, who was visibly trembling.  “I know it’s scary Raine, but this is really important.  I need to know that if there is ever an emergency and I’m incapacitated, that you can take care of yourself.”

Raine held up her fists and punched into the air in a flurry.  “I got these girls, Ash.  I can defend myself just fine.”

“Against an intruder armed with a machete?  Or a Grendel?”

Raine lowered her hands in defeat.  “Oh _all right_ , Ash.  You win.  I’ll try it—once.”  Her tone was stern.

She and the doctor traded places and Raine eyed up the target.  “You missed, you know.”  She pointed to the objective which had a single hole almost near the bottom edge, nowhere near the human image.

“That’s why I’m hoping you’ll have better aim than me.  Your eyes are sharper.”

Raine smiled and flicked the safety off on the weapon.  She held it out in front of her body with rigid arms. 

“Focus through the sight and aim for either the head or the chest, right over the heart.  That’ll instantly neutralize anyone.”

She inhaled deeply and squinted one eye closed, focusing on the target ahead.  A deafening shot rang out across the desert as she fired.

“Bullseye, Raine!  You’re a crack shot!”

She engaged the safety and set the firearm back in the case before going to inspect the target closer.  She had hit the image square in the chest, mere millimeters from the heart.  She poked her finger into the hole, trying to discern how far in the bullet had travelled.

“Wow!  You’re a natural.”  Ash moved in closer to scrutinize the hit.

“I can think of a lot better things I’d like to be a natural at.”

The pair returned to the makeshift firing line and Ash unloaded the weapon and stowed it away.  “Let’s make a deal.  Will you practice once a month, for an hour or so…just to keep you fresh?”

Raine frowned.  “You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?”

“It’s very important to me.  Please?”

Raine sighed.  “Whatever.  But you need to order me those imported candies from Galbadia for my efforts.  Lots of ‘em.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Raine.”  The two shook hands and returned to the complex.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_All the bean plants in Raine’s courtyard garden were sprouting yellow and purple striped vegetables.  Giant caterpillars crawled on the ground, chomping at the strange vegetation.  The skies suddenly turned green and a shower of diamonds fell from the clouds.  The moment the gems came in contact with the earth they exploded into thousands of miniature fireworks, illuminating the dusky garden with brilliant colorful plumes._

_A bird with a Blobra’s face landed on the patio table and began to lay glowing eggs.  Within moments, they hatched, releasing minuscule passenger trains, puffing smoke from their engines and honking tiny horns._

**[[[KILL SQUALL LEONHART]]]**


	24. Phoenix Chapter Twenty-three

Phoenix: Chapter Twenty-three

_A/N:  For timing, Squall is now 23, Raine is 47 and Laguna is 51._

**_THREE YEARS LATER_ **

_“Breaking news out of Esthar this morning as the Science Ministry has announced the death of Doctor Hans Odine.”_

Ash’s attention immediately snapped out from his closet, where he was picking out the day’s tie.  He dashed for his bed, fumbling for the remote to increase the volume.

_“The Ministry reports that Doctor Odine passed away in his sleep last night, apparently from natural causes.  He was seventy-seven.  Honorary services are pending, although the Ministry states that there will be a public memorial and a statue dedicated to his work in the coming months.  Again, breaking news that Doctor…”_

Ash switched off the television and sat silently on his bed for a moment in disbelief, his chocobo tie still in his hands.  A wicked grin spread across his face and he leapt up onto the mattress.  He bounced like an excited child, reveling in the fact that the man who had exiled him to the desert was now dead and gone.  He whooped with joy once, before plopping down to the bedspread, out of breath.

He was disappointed that Odine would not be able to take the fall for Project Perfect Phoenix and the horrors that would soon befall the president of Esthar, but he was happy knowing that the tiny doctor no longer had power over him. 

Once he caught his breath, Ash picked out a new tie—his previous selection had become terribly wrinkled during his celebration—and loped it around his neck as he made his way to breakfast.  He left his suite and was halfway down the hall to the dining room when he decided to detour through Raine’s flower garden. 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“Flowers?  What for?”  Raine accepted the freshly-picked pink tulips, deposited them in a tall glass and began filling it with water.

“We’re celebrating.”

“Celebrating?  What?”

Ash leaned up against the refrigerator while Raine poured batter onto a waffle iron.  “Who do you dislike more than anyone in the whole world?”

She didn’t hesitate.   “Odine.”

A sly grin spread across Ash’s face.  “Ding, ding, ding!”  What would you say if I told you that you never had to think or worry about him ever again?”

Raine clamped the small appliance shut, and the scent of cinnamon waffles beginning to cook filled the kitchen.  She turned to Ash, wide-eyed.  “You don’t mean…is he dead?”

“Dead and gone.”

Raine leaned against the countertop with her back.  She thought for a long moment, while she drummed her fingertips on the top of the iron, pausing momentarily to crack it open just a tad to check on the waffles.    “Does it make me a bad person to be happy that he’s gone?” 

Ash stole a piece of prepared bacon from a serving dish on the counter.  With a full mouth he responded, “Hey, I’m the one who suggested we should celebrate!  That practically makes me the devil!”  He reached for another piece, only to have his hand slapped away.  “He was never nice to you—or to me for that matter.  He abandoned you.  You have every right to be just a little glad that he’s stiffer than a board right now.”  Ash winked.

Raine blew a sharp breath out from puffed cheeks.  “I just can’t feel bad.  I never felt safe around him and I…”  She looked Ash straight in the eyes.  “…I never trusted him like I trust you.”  She offered a soft, sincere smile. 

Ash presented his own confession.  “Did you know that I had been working for Odine Labs for three years before I ever met him?  And that was the day I was given your case.  Talk about a bad boss.”  Ash tried one last time to snitch a slice of bacon, prompting Raine to move the plate out of his reach.  “I’ll admit that his contributions to the scientific community over the last decades have been outstanding, but the world doesn’t know the real Odine like we do.  If they did, they wouldn’t be so quick to honor him like they undoubtedly will.” 

“You’re probably right, and you know him better than I do.  Who knows what terrible things he did that people don’t know about?”  Raine popped the lid of the waffle maker open and dumped fresh pastries out onto a plate.  “Celebratory waffles, anyone?  Here’s to no more Doctor Odine.”  Raine pointed to the refrigerator as she made her way to the dining room.  “Get the syrup, wouldja Ash?”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“The smiley face is a nice, albeit somewhat disturbing touch, Raine.”

Ash brought the paper target back to their firing line to show the woman.  Raine had grouped her shots together to form a simple face on the head of the target, complete with eyes, a nose and an arcing mouth. 

“Hey, it’s art.”   She slid the empty magazine from the gun with ease and reached for another, only to find there was none.  She opened the case, hoping to find more ammunition.  Thwarted, she sighed, “Poop, all out of ammo.”

Ash took the firearm from her and stowed it back in its container.  “You know, for a woman who was adamant that she didn’t like guns, you sure have become quite the professional.”

Raine released her long hair, now tinged with tiny streaks of gray, from the long ponytail it was held in.  It flowed over her shoulders and back like a long brown waterfall.  “Hey, if I’m going to do something, I’m gonna be damn good at it.”

“You certainly have cornered the market on ‘damn good,’ that’s for sure.  You put even the most seasoned police officer or soldier to shame.”

Ash watched as Raine stretched her long arms behind her back in a graceful arc.  Her body was in top shape and Ash was almost a bit jealous of her physique as he quickly took a look down at his small paunch.  He cleared his throat.  “Come on, I’ll buy you lunch…and by ‘buy you lunch’ I mean I’ll heat up the leftover lasagna we had last night.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Raine snuggled under her covers, deep in sleep.  It was well past midnight, and the soft breeze blowing in through her cracked bedroom window brought with it the far-off call of a predatory Hexdragon.  Her photo of Laguna, now faded by time, looked on as she slept…

_A small boy not more than ten sat with a box between his legs, crawling with tiny felines.  “Kittens!  Kittens for sale!”_

_Raine approached the boy and bent down to pick up a squirming snow-white cat from the box.  It mewed at her with a tiny voice and nestled into her hands._

**[[[KILL SQUALL LEONHART]]]**

_“How much?”   She scratched the little animal behind the ears, earning her a soft purr._

_“Fifteen Gil, lady.”_

_Raine pondered the price for a moment before countering.  “Ten…deal?”_

_The child pursed his lips and considered her offer.  “Okay, ten.  But you gotta promise to take care of him!  He likes to drink warm milk.”_

_Raine fished a ten-Gil coin from her pocket and deposited it into the boy’s open and waiting hand.  “I’ll give him a good home, bud.  Don’t worry.  I think I’ll name him Fluffy.”_

_With her new pet cozied up safely in her arms, she continued down the cobblestone path towards what appeared to be a town square._

**[[[KILL SQUALL LEONHART]]]**

_A farmer’s market had taken up residence, and the whole area was alive with people, music and the delicious smells of various foods being prepared.  Raine passed by countless stalls, each selling fruits, vegetables and prepared foodstuffs.  She stopped to talk to a frail-looking old man who had baskets of brightly colored eggs available for purchase._

_“Chocobo eggs?”  The old man offered.  “Freshest you’ll find this side of Timber.”_

_Raine picked one up with her free hand.  It was very heavy, with a slightly rough texture to it.  “Chocobo, huh?  I don’t think I’ve ever eaten one of these.”_

_The man waved a scolding finger at her.  “Oh, there not for eatin’ missy.  You throw them at Ruby Dragons to keep them at bay.”_

**[[[KILL SQUALL LEONHART]]]**

_“What?  That’s the most absurd thing I have ever heard!”  Raine replaced the egg into its basket and moved on to the next stall._

_“You’ll be sorry!”  The old man called after her._

_She made her way through the crowds, sampling a few baked goods that caught her attention, all the while keeping a tight grip on Fluffy the kitten.  Then, without warning, the sky turned jet black and lightning flashed across the heavens.  The kitten jumped from her hands and ran into a clearing, where it immediately morphed into none other than a giant Ruby Dragon.  Raine screamed in horror.  “Fluffy!”_

**[[[KILL SQUALL LEONHART]]]**

_She screamed as it lunged towards her and just as it was about to scrape her with its gargantuan claws, she heard the old man’s hysterical laughter.  “I told you so, missy!  Now you’re in trouble!”_

_Raine reached out towards the man.  “Please!  Throw an egg at it!  It’s going to kill me!”_

_The other vendors of the market_ , _along with the patrons, all turned their backs on her and floated up into the churning sky, attracting the attention of the beast for just enough time for Raine to escape.  As the creature snapped its jaws at the throngs of people ascending towards the atmosphere, Raine ran from the square and down an alley, where she hid behind a row of barrels.  She stayed there for what seemed like an eternity, until the chaos in the town center subsided.  When she could no longer hear the deafening roar of the dragon, she timidly made her way from the alley and immediately found herself back on that familiar grassy hill, surrounded by thousands of blooming wildflowers.  As she collapsed from the exhaustion of sheer terror, the wind picked up, carrying with it a soft masculine voice._

**[[[KILL SQUALL LEONHART]]]**


	25. Phoenix Chapter Twenty-four

Phoenix:  Chapter Twenty-four

_Squall Leonhart has made a permanent move to Esthar, having been newly appointed as commander of the city’s own brand-new Garden._ _His former role as Commander of Balamb SeeD has been taken over by Xu, whom Squall hand-picked for the position._ _Squall and Rinoa, realizing their affection was nothing more than a young-love fling, ended their romance years ago and still remain good friends._

_Although he would never admit it publicly, he misses his friends back in Balamb and relishes the time when he can contact them._

_Squall lives in the Presidential Palace and works alongside his father as a liaison between the Presidential office and Garden.  He also oversees SeeD requests and applications that come in on a daily basis.  He still occasionally goes out on SeeD missions, although his high profile position and name make the most dangerous of assignments out of the question._

_His relationship with his father has improved.  After an awkward first year of getting to know each other, the two men have come to an understanding about their family dynamic and constantly keep working at building a meaningful relationship--sometimes to Squall’s chagrin.  The young Commander, now twenty-three years old, has come to accept that having a family isn’t a bad thing, and is trying to be comfortable with the idea of having people love and support him unconditionally._

_With Squall living in such close proximity to Laguna, Ash believes that it is time to put his plan in motion and begins his final preparations…_

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“Are you sure you’ll have one ready for me?”  Ash listened intently to the caller on the other end of the phone line.  “Yes…it will be very soon.  I’ll need it within the week.  Yes…just be ready for my call.”

He hung up the phone and sighed.  One of the most crucial parts of his upcoming plan had just been finalized.  All the years of planning. The countless hours spent hunched over a tiny electronic device in a claustrophobic workshop.  The sometimes heart-wrenching work he had put in with Raine—it was all about to pay off. 

Ash reminisced for a moment, remembering the first time he had ever met Raine.  She had looked so scared and weak that morning in his old office.  She had no memories then, only her name.  They had worked so hard for so long, until the morning she had come running to his door and jumping with joy at the recall of a new remembrance.  His mind flashed through their years together, remembering a time when he didn’t hate Laguna Loire, and when Odine was still haunting his every move. 

His mood turned darker for a moment as his memories focused on the recent past, when his intentions had turned nefarious, fuelled by hatred.  He wasn’t, however, soured by these thoughts, but instead was invigorated and chomping at the bit to see his plan succeed.  He was eager to witness the downfall of Laguna, the destruction of everything the man had worked so hard to forge for the good of humanity.  He knew that the fall of Esthar would never happen, and didn’t want the city to fall into ruins.  He just wanted Loire to crack and crumble, to become a shell of the man he once was and lose everything he held dear.  Ash would make sure Laguna paid dearly for cutting him off from civilization and holding Raine’s love.

He made sure his contact’s name and number were safely cleared from the screen of his phone and heard his stomach growling.  Looking at his watch, he realized it was almost noon and Raine would be preparing one of the last meals she would ever cook for him.  He hoped it was those little pulled pork sandwiches he loved so much.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Ash was halfway down the hall to the complex’s kitchen when he heard a giant crash followed by silence.  His feet felt as though they were barely touching the ground as he ran, fearing the worst. He skidded to a halt when he entered the spacious kitchen as an unconscious Raine came into view, lying next to an overturned stepstool. 

He ran to her side, and quickly located a strong pulse at her neck.  Relieved, he felt her neckline for breakages and gently patter her cheek in an attempt to rouse her.  Her breathing was normal and there didn’t appear to be any blood, which eased Ash’s fears somewhat.  He noticed a large goose-egg protruding from her scalp along the hairline on the right side of her head.

A truly caring person would have been worried for the health and well-being of the woman on the ground.  Ash, on the other hand, was concerned that after all his hard work, one clumsy move by Raine could potentially undermine the whole mission.  He glanced up at the open cabinet, and the serving dishes that would have been just out of Raine’s reach. 

He focused on the unconscious woman at his knees, who was beginning to come around.  She moaned softly and screwed her still-closed eyes shut even tighter.  “Raine?  Can you hear me?”  Ash caressed the side of her face with his thumb.  He lifted her body onto his lap so she was in a slightly reclined position.  Ash watched her as she slowly tried to open her eyes.

“Ash?  What hap...”  Her eyes immediately widened and she sat bolt upright, knocking Ash off balance. 

“Leonhart!”  She grabbed Ash by the shoulders and shook him vigorously.  “My last name is Leonhart!  At least it used to be... It’s Raine Leonhart-Loire!  I’m from…” she paused for a moment, allowing the information that had been allowed back into her brain time to sink in.  “Winhill!  Oh Hyne, I remember everything!”

Ash felt his cheeks flush.  He had no words.  He sat silently, staring at the joyfully hysterical woman on the kitchen floor.  Her hands were trembling as they migrated from his shoulders to cover her mouth.  Her voice was muffled as she kept rattling off more of the information that had seemingly flooded into her brain.

“Squall!  My baby’s name is Squall.”  Tears streamed down her face.  She hugged her arms close to her body, as if she were cradling an infant.  “He’s a grown man by now!”

Ash still sat there, stunned and silent.  He wasn’t about to tell her about her heroic son…at least not yet.  He sat and listened to her go on, smiling at the prospect of what all these memories would mean for her transition.  He was practically giddy. 

“The little girl, her name was Ellone.  She’s not mine by blood, but I raised her after soldiers killed…”  She hesitated, casting her eyes down to her bare feet for a moment.  “Ash?  The first Sorceress War…it spanned the globe, didn’t it?  Her parents were killed during the war.”  She sat for a moment, in thought.  “She must be in her late twenties now, she was five the last thing I remember.” 

Raine then got a pensive look on her face.  “Why can’t I remember anything more than a few hours after Squall was born?” 

Ash, still reeling from the flood of memories that were spewing from Raine’s lips, struggled to come up with a believable answer.  “Maybe you got sick right after he was born, or you were ill even before then?  Trabian Flu is known to cause dementia in the most severe cases, and patients infected with it are prone to wander off.”  He was having a hard time keeping his thoughts from melding together in his brain.  On one hand, this onslaught of new information would make Raine’s transition back into “family life” with Laguna much easier.  She wouldn’t have to struggle with getting to know people again, remembering names and being taught her family history.  This revelation made him practically ecstatic.

On the other hand, he was also panicking.  There was a real possibility that she would remember the moments leading up to her death.  The scientific territory they were treading in was unknown, and there were just so many uncertainties as to what her brain would actually recall.  No one had ever been successfully resurrected and regained memories before, and this prospect frightened Ash.  He wasn’t ready to reveal the true circumstances on how she came to be at Odine Labs. 

Raine sat sobbing with joy, spewing information faster than Ash could properly process it.  “Laguna and I were married in November, the seventh.  I…I didn’t know I was pregnant when he left in December.”  Her face grew solemn.  “Oh Hyne, I wonder if he even knew he had a son.”

She brought her knees to her chest and hugged them.  “I wonder what Squall is doing right now.”  She rested her chin on one knee, deep in thought.  After a long moment, her attention snapped back to Ash.  “Ash!  Please take me to Winhill!  Maybe he’s still there!  I have to find him, please!  I want to go home!”  Her face was alight with a huge grin.  “Damn, I should have hit my head years ago!”

 “We can’t be hasty, Raine.  I know you are over the moon with all this, and rightfully so.  Let me make some calls to Winhill and the Galbadian government to confirm your identity.”  Unbeknownst to Raine, Ash was planning no such calls, but instead requests of his own contacts.  Her mission would be beginning earlier than planned.

“Why don’t you go back to your apartment and lie down.  Don’t forget, you cracked your head pretty good.”  He help up a finger and moved it back and forth in front of Raine’s eyes, making sure she was tracking properly. 

She slapped his hand away with a scowl.  “I’m fine, Ash.  My head’s just pounding a little, that’s all.  I don’t think I’m going to be able to rest.”

Ash frowned.  He wanted her out of his hair so he could prepare.  “Okay, don’t lie down, but take it easy,” he compromised.  “Why don’t you see how much you can write down in your journals?  This will be an opportunity to record any questions you might have for your family—if we find them.”  He tried to sound caring.  At least the excitement in his voice as real, even if it was for a completely different reason.  “C’mon.  Let me help you up.”

She accepted the assistance and stood on wobbly legs.  “Oof.  Maybe you should walk me back.”  She put a hand to her head and massaged the aching lump.  “I guess I really hit my head hard, huh?”  She gingerly took a few steps with Ash’s help.

“Come on, let’s get you settled back home so I can make my calls.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX

 

With Raine safely situated in her suite, Ash hurried to his office and locked the door.  He moved with urgency, gathering files from stacks and filing cabinets, filling his arms with papers and folders.  He sat at his desk, dumping the records across its surface and diailed a number.  He drummed his fingertips on the desktop as he waited for the call to connect. 

“Put me through to the Warden.  This is Mr. Campbell.”

He waited again as he was put on hold, rolling his eyes at the fact that the D-District Prison’s hold music was bubbly pop tunes.  His call was finally answered by the intended recipient, who wasn’t even given enough time to greet Ash.  “Thomas, it’s Alex Campbell.  Yes…I’m aware that we just spoke.  No, nothing is wrong, in fact…things couldn’t be more perfect”

He listened to the man on the other end of the line for a moment before speaking.  “It seems I’ll need that body sooner than expected…tomorrow, actually.”

Ash had to move the handset away from his ear as the Warden’s surprised screech was a bit too loud.  He could still hear, however, as the man’s voice was extremely raised and annoyed. 

_“Tomorrow?  And how do you suppose I make that happen?  I was planning on sending you the prisoner we were gonna execute on Friday.  FRIDAY!”_

Ash brought the phone to his ear once more and calmly, but firmly replied, “Then move up the execution.  He’s a criminal, for Hyne’s sake.  Who cares?”

He listened for a long moment, rolling his eyes again.  It was of no interest to Ash, as he had his own agenda.  He picked at the veneer of the side of his desk as he listened, waiting for the man to take a breath.  “Are you quite finished?  Now, are you going to make this happen or not?  Have you forgotten just how much Gil is set to be wired into your _personal_ account?”

Ash smirked as the Warden agreed to his demands.

“Glad you see it my way, Warden.  I’m so glad Galbadia still takes the time to beat some of their prisoners to death.  Yes…and make sure his face is unrecognizable.” 

Ash sat patiently as the Warden spoke and then answered, “Tomorrow night, after eight pm.  That should give me enough time.  Have your men come from the East on the old service road, and use the back entrance.  I’ll be waiting.

“Yes…of course.  You’ll get your payment when I get my cargo.  Of course, five-hundred thousand Gil, as promised.  Just make sure you hold up your end of the bargain.  The corpse must be as close as possible to my body type and size.  Yes…I know what kind of risk you are taking, but that isn’t going to get you any more Gil.  Tomorrow night, Thomas…you better not cross me.”

Ash hung up the phone and leaned back in his chair, propping his feet up on his desk.  Lacing his hands behind his head, he sighed, enjoying a small moment of peace before he began the momentous task of readying all of the “evidence” he would need.

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, the scent of the flowers just outside his open office window tickling his nostrils ever so slightly.  They reminded him of Raine, and that thought snapped him out of his self-imposed meditative state and he began to go through the countless stacks of files littering his desk pertaining to Raine and Project Perfect Phoenix.  He knew everything had to be in perfect order for his plan to begin.  He never even noticed that his stomach was still growling. 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Four hours later, and most of his office work complete, Ash headed off to Raine’s apartment to check on her.  The bounce in his step that had not been present since his early days at Odine Labs was back, and he whistled a cheery tune as he walked.  He was almost in disbelief; his plans were about to come to fruition.  He knew it would be months until the grand finale, but he was still giddy as a child.

He arrived at Raine’s door and was greeted by a note attached with a piece of masking tape.

 

**Ash—**

**I’m in the kitchen.  Don’t worry, I’m feeling much better.  I knew you’d be worried if you got here and I didn’t answer…**

**\--R**

The note was marked with a silly drawn face, complete with hair, a beard and glasses.  Ash chuckled as he pulled the paper down and neatly folded it into quarters, stuffing it into his front shirt pocket. 

As he approached the kitchen, he was drawn in by the tantalizing scent of onions and garlic cooking together.  He heard soft vocals, as Raine was singing a song Ash had grown to love but had not heard in ages. 

_“Darling, so there you are…with that look on your face…As if you're never hurt…As if you're never down…”_

He entered the kitchen, and standing in almost the same spot he had found her unconscious in just hours earlier, was a barefoot Raine, singing and peeling carrots. 

_“Shall I be the one for you…who pinches you softly but sure…if frown is shown then…I will know that you are no dreamer…”_

Ash cleared his throat to get her attention, not wanting to startle her when she had a sharp kitchen tool in her hands.  She jumped at the noise, whirling around with a hand on her heart.  “Ash!  You scared me!”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.  You have a lovely singing voice, Raine.  I just wanted to tell you that.”

Blushing, Raine turned and went back to her carrots.  “I remembered that song, too.  It was one of my favorites.”  She waved Ash over.  “Come on, you can help me peel these veggies.”

Ash crossed the threshold of the kitchen.  “You should be resting, you know.  Not cooking.”

Raine huffed in annoyance.  “Don’t worry, I feel fine…really.  I wanted to cook you something special as a ‘thank you for everything’ dinner.”

The doctor made his way to her side, aware that this was the last time he would ever help her prepare a meal.  A wave of nostalgia swept over him.  This part of his life was coming to a close.  Even though he was very eager for Laguna to suffer, a part of him would genuinely miss their time together.  After all—he was still very much in love with her.

“Wash your hands and then peel those potatoes, okay?”  She had a sweet smile on her face.  Her attention was still focused on the carrots.  “Did you get ahold of anyone in Winhill?  Anyone recognize my name?”

 “The village hall office wasn’t picking up the phone and the Galbadians are looking at their records.  They said it could take up to a week.  We’ll just have to be patient.”  Ash picked up a kitchen towel from the counter and patted his hands dry.

Raine handed him the peeler and began to dice her carrots.  “Waiting sucks, huh?  I guess I can be patient; it’s just hard sitting here on my ass waiting for some government drone to find my records.  Peel those and pass them to me, wouldja?”  She motioned to the bowl of potatoes with her large chef’s knife.

“Are you making what I think you’re making?”  Ash’s face softened with an almost child-like smile.

“Yep.  It’s your mom’s chicken pot pie.  I also made your favorite baked cheesy potatoes.”

Ash noticed a cake behind Raine on the small kitchen table.  “Cake too?”

She turned to look at the pastry, glazed with a thin vanilla frosting and topped with fresh strawberries.   “I wanted to make this meal extra special.  I might be on my way home by this time tomorrow, so I wanted to make this dinner one to remember.”

“Just make sure you don’t overdo it, alright?  Don’t forget you bonked your head pretty bad this morning.” 

Raine huffed.  “Oh, I’m fine.  The lump is almost gone, see?”  She gently thumped the butt end of her knife against her temple.  “Besides, I have you to help me now, it’ll lighten my load.”

The pair worked in tandem, Ash peeling and Raine chopping.  When all the vegetables were peeled and diced, Raine tossed them into the pot with the cooking garlic and onions.  “Thanks, Ash.  I’ve got it from here.  Why don’t you sit down and keep me company.”

Ash obeyed and seated himself at the tiny table.  His attention was grabbed by the tantalizing cake, and did not go unnoticed by Raine.

“Hands off that cake, mister!”  She pointed at him with her spoon, scolding.

Ash watched as Raine poured cream and chicken stock into the pot, making the luxurious filling for the pot pie.  When it thickened enough, she dumped it into the prepared pie dish she had readied and topped with a pie crust she had waiting in the wings.  He took in every detail about her, committing it to memory.  The way her hair fell into her eyes when she bent over to put the pie in the oven.  Her soft barefoot steps as she moved gracefully around the kitchen, almost as if she were dancing.  He knew he would truly miss her when she left.  When she took her leave, he would most likely never see her again in person.  His vindictive, violent side quickly overrode any sadness he was feeling as he thought about the inevitable outcome of his plan.

“Ash?”  He snapped out of his daydream to find Raine waving her hand in front of his face.  “Where’d you go?”

He patted the table in front of the other chair.  “Sit for a while and take a load off.”

Raine sighed as she sat.  “It’ll be ready in about forty-five minutes.”

Ash sat for a moment, drinking in the ageless beauty of Raine’s face.  He marveled at the fact that even though she was now nearing fifty, she didn’t look a day over thirty, except for the faint whispers of gray streaking through her hair.  Realizing he was staring, Ash decided to make small talk.  “So, what else did you remember?  Regale me with life in Winhill.”  He smiled sincerely, but internally dreaded the fact that Laguna would ultimately come up in the conversation.

“Oh Ash, it’s so wonderful.  It’s like everything came flooding back at once, and I instantly got my life back.  My birthday is December first.  I’m forty-seven years old!  I can’t believe that! “   Raine grinned from ear to ear.  “All the memories of my time with Laguna are so precious.   We were only together in Winhill for a short time, just a little over a year and a half, but they were the happiest moments of my life.” 

Ash begrudgingly asked Raine for more insight into her life with Laguna, knowing it would ultimately help with her transition to remember everything vividly.  “How did you meet Laguna?”

Raine smiled.  “He washed up on the shore.  He was hurt really badly, and was unconscious for days.  I didn’t even know his name until he came to.”  She rested her elbows on the table, then her head in her hands.  “Turns out he and his cohorts were running from enemies and they jumped off a cliff to escape them.  Can you believe that?  A cliff!”

“That’s pretty brave…or dumb.  Depending on how you look at it.”

“He was laid up for months.   Ellone and I took care of him and nursed him back to health.  At that point, I thought he was just a goofy soldier and didn’t really have any feelings for him.  Elle on the other hand…she fell for him right away.  She adored him…”  Raine’s eyes became misty and she sighed.  “I wonder where Elle ended up after I disappeared.  She was such a special little girl, but there were always people after her…”  Raine’s expression darkened, and she slowly lowered her eyes.  “Odine was one of those people, Ash.”

Genuinely surprised by this information, Ash questioned, “Odine?  What would he want with a little girl?”

“I can’t explain it.  Elle was always…special.  I likened it to a “sixth sense”.  I guess Odine and that Adel character thought she would be useful.  I never understood it.  They sent soldiers to take Elle in the middle of the night.  They snatched her right out of her bed.  Laguna went off after her and that was the last time I ever saw him.”

“You said you didn’t know you were pregnant at the time when he left, right?”

“Yeah.  He left in December and I found out a few weeks after he had been gone.  There was no way to get a hold of him; Adel had communications pretty locked down back then.  He ended up finding Ellone and sending her back in June of the next year.  Then Squall was born at the end of August and I don’t remember anything else.”

“He didn’t send any message back with the little girl?  Surely there must have been some way to contact him.”  Ash tried to feign interest.

“Not really.  Adel was still in power then, and it was all he could do just to get Elle out of Esthar safely.  There was a small message with her, which said he’d be back as soon as he could.”  Raine sighed and wiped her nose with a napkin from the table.  “What’s done is done I guess.  Hopefully someone can get me in contact with Ellone and we can make new memories together…and maybe she has been with Squall this whole time, who knows?”

Raine looked out into the dining room and at the massive wall of windows overlooking the desert.  She raised her napkin to her eyes and blotted them, changing the subject in the process.  “I sure am going to miss you, Ash.  I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me.  You took care of me when no one else wanted to, and worked with me to regain memories of my former life. If it wasn’t for you, who knows where I would have ended up.  I could never repay you for it all.  You gave up any hope of a normal life…for me.  Living out in the desert like this so we could work in peace, it was quite the sacrifice.”  She moved her hand to grasp his.  “How do you feel about all this?  I know this must have come as quite a shock.”

Ash could never tell Raine how overjoyed he was that she would soon be leaving the complex.  He instead, put on a caring face and answered, “I truly am so happy for you that you will finally be going home.  I mean, that is the outcome we worked so hard for, right?”  He squeezed her warm hand in his own.  “I’m not going to lie and say it’s not going to hurt like a son of a bitch, though.  We’ve been through so much together, and your leaving will leave a hole that will never heal.  I know it’s what’s best for you though…what you deserve.”

Raine rose from her seat and Ash followed.  She embraced him tightly, clutching him harder than she had in a long time.  Ash didn’t want the moment to end.  “Promise you’ll call and write me, alright?”

Raine ended the hug and wiped her eyes on her sleeve.  “Will you stay here, Ash?  Or go back to Esthar?”

_Neither._   “I don’t know yet.  I think I’ll stick around here for a little while.  I’ve got a huge lab for all sorts of work.  I just have to figure out what to do next…”  He smiled a sheepish grin.  “Maybe I’ll become a Chocobo breeder or something.”

“I wouldn’t.  Those suckers bite.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

With Raine in her suite gathering and packing her belongings, Ash sat in his dark office, illuminated by the dim light of a crescent moon.  He stared out at the Great Plains of Esthar, sandy and rocky, and watched as a pack of Malboros in the distance swarmed in on an adolescent Chimera.  The creature put up a valiant fight, but in the end was torn apart by the wriggling tentacles of the slimy creatures and devoured. 

Ash checked his watch.  It was time to make his final call of the night.  His conversation was brief and one sided.

“X, its Campbell.  Three a.m. tomorrow night, and don’t be late.”

He disconnected the call and lit a cigarette.  The glowing end illuminated his face for a brief moment as he sucked in his first drag.  He blew the smoke towards the open window, watching as the air currents swirling outside drew the puff out into the desert.  

His transportation would arrive at three a.m. the next night, taking him to an arranged safe house in the slum village of Heaven’s Hope, located miles from Esthar proper.  The settlement had sprung up after the Lunar Cry, and was inhabited by those displaced by the disaster, now destitute and poverty-stricken.  Unfortunately, the criminal element that had also emerged after the catastrophe had also taken up residence in the struggling hamlet and it had become infested with crooks and lowlifes, and was rampant with crime.  Even the Estharian police force avoided the place, fearful of becoming targets.  It was the perfect place to disappear.

This “X” person, whom Ash connected with through Rex the supplier, arranged a dwelling with television and internet access, per Ash’s request.  Over the last few years, Ash had been drawing extra funds from the hush-money account that Odine had set up, depositing it into the account of “Alex Campbell.”  Ash knew once his plan began, he would no longer be able to access the old account, and needed to make sure he had enough funds to survive.  Sure, he could afford a grand home in a much better community, but then he would be out in plain sight.  He needed to be somewhere where no one would ever come looking for him, and Heaven’s Hope provided the perfect refuge.

He looked around his office, at all the materials and personal effects he would leave behind.  Everything, even his most treasured possessions, would be abandoned.  He gazed up at his diplomas hanging framed on the wall and at his gold pen from his father sitting in its holder on his desk.  He would miss that pen.

All the files pertaining to Raine and Project Perfect Phoenix were tucked neatly away file cabinets, clearly labeled in bright colors so they would stand out.  Ash made sure one of the drawers marked “Raine” was opened just slightly.  He wanted them to stand out when the investigation that would inevitably follow tomorrows impending events, began.

He flicked his cigarette butt out of his window and stood to stretch his stiff muscles.  He opened his desk drawer and removed the two defaced pictures of Laguna, one with the eyes and mouth gouged out and the other riddled with dart holes, and held them up in front of his face, taking one final look at them.  He grabbed a lighter and with one flick, lit it and held the flame up the corners of the photos.  Ash held them in his hands for a moment until the flames got too close to his fingers.  He then tossed them into the trash can beside his desk and watched as they were reduced to ashes. 

There was one more task he needed to take care of before retiring to his bed for the last time ever in the complex.  He headed off towards the service tunnel with his secret workshop.  There, he would dismantle all of his equipment and scatter the pieces throughout the complex, making it look like nothing more than remnants of the gear left behind by the genetics scientists all those years ago.

Then Ash could rest up for the most important day of his life.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

 

_A/N:  Ok, before all the Squinoa fans get out the pitchforks and chase me into the town square…_

_Plain and simple:  I like reading Squinoa…not so much on the writing front.  Ashbear encouraged me to write for the WIB challenge, and I must say I had a blast.  But, Squinoa was never something I ever intended to write before the challenge, so it is not really my comfort zone.  I will come out of the closet here and admit that Rinoa really annoyed me in the game; she came off as whiny and needy.  For that reason, I never wanted to write for her.  Yes, I have some ideas for more Squinoas in the future…but they are a long way off, and frankly, I need to be in the right mood for it, lol.  So…to make a long story a bit longer, you won’t see her in Phoenix…at all.  Sorry to disappoint, but it’s the cold hard truth.  There, I said it:  feel free to throw food.  Cookies and Cadbury Eggs are preferable.   ---B_

 

 


	26. Phoenix Chapter Twenty-five

Phoenix:   Chapter Twenty-five

                With the last of her clothing neatly folded and ready to be packed, Raine slipped into her pajamas and curled up in her bed.  She flipped her journal open and continued her thoughts from that afternoon.

_My head is spinning.  I’m finally going “home”, but what will I find when I get there? I’ve been thinking today about how they all must have felt after I disappeared.  Will I be taken back?  Will they all hate me for wandering away?  Will they embrace me with open arms and welcome me back with tears in their eyes?_

_Squall and Ellone come to mind.  Will they be there?  Surely they have their own lives by now, but I can’t help but think the impossible thought of “are they still alive?”  That thought nearly sickens me._

_I have been trying to imagine what they both look like now, as adults.  I envision Squall looking like Laguna more than me, with his father’s angular features.  I remember him having Laguna’s chin.  I didn’t have much time with him, but I loved him like it was an eternity.  I can still feel his tiny body in my arms, and see his huge blue eyes gazing up at me.  As for Elle, she was such a beautiful child, I can only dream about how stunning she must be as a woman.  I remember brushing her hair every night before bed, and then she would wrap her little arms around my neck and kiss me goodnight.  I know that Elle isn’t really my child by blood, but she was such an important part of my life, and I love her as if I gave birth to her._

_My thoughts race back to Squall.  Will he hate me for abandoning him?  What if he rejects me?  I don’t think I could bear it…_

Raine paused to wipe a stray tear away from her cheek.  She closed her eyes for a moment, thinking on what she had just written.  Upon opening them again, she stared at the time-worn photo of Laguna, ever smiling.

_…Laguna…  That is perhaps the most bittersweet subject.  I finally remember everything about my life—our life—and I can’t share it with him.  Even after all these years, his death still haunts me.  I would give anything just to have one more day with him, to hold him one last time._

_I wonder if he ever remarried.  I hope that he found happiness in Esthar.  Though the thought of him with another woman is enough to break my heart, in the end, I just hope he was happy.  My thoughts, again, turn to Squall. Did he ever know that Laguna was his father?  The sparse amount of information I have seen about Laguna never mentions a son. My mind races as I think about how much the villagers disliked him, and the terrible thought enters my brain that they may have hidden Squall from Laguna.  They never felt our love was “right” and many of the residents tried very hard to convince me not to fall for him.   It saddens me to think that Squall grew up without us, but I hope whatever upbringing he had was loving._

_Who knows, he might be in Winhill right now, running the pub.  I wonder if he is married, or has children.  I could even be a grandmother by now!  That is truly a strange thought…_

Feeling her eyelids beginning to become heavy with fatigue, Raine closed her diary and set it on her nightstand.  As she did every night, Raine lightly touched the face of Laguna’s photo and snuggled down underneath her covers.  Sleep took her quickly that night.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_Raine pulled the box of toys down from the closet shelf.  “Are these the ones you wanted, honey?”_

_The faceless child in front of her nodded, hands extended and ready to receive them.  With toys in hand, he scampered off to play with the tiny cars contained in the carton.  Raine watched him as he ran off down the hallway, nearly tripping over a toy spider on the floor.  When she heard the clanking of metal cars crashing into each other on the hardwood floor of the other room, she smiled and went off to the kitchen to make a cup of tea._

**[[[PAYBACK]]]**

_The kettle boiled instantly, spewing a putrid green steam cloud from the spout.  Not caring about the color or the fog, she wafted the mist away from her face and poured the water into a mug, which instantly turned into a giant kettle on the table, filled with carrots.  Not noticing the vegetables, Raine dunked the teabag up and down; making sure it spent enough time in the hot liquid.  She peered out the window, noticing that the flowers were growing upside down in the garden, their roots popping up out of the ground on the stalks where the blooms should have been._

_The faceless child appeared at her side, holding one of the cars.  The front wheels on their axel had fallen off, and he was holding the broken pieces out to her.  “Fix my car, mama?”_

_“Sure, baby.  Come sit with me while I do it.”  She pulled out the chair next to her at the table, and the child climbed up and rested his elbows on the tabletop.  She pushed a small plate of cookies in front of him, and he eagerly grabbed three.  “Not too many, little man.  You’ll spoil your dinner.”_

_She inspected the small car, which was glowing with an eerie light.  Turning it over, she found where the axel had come loose and snapped the piece back into place.  She rolled the car along the table, testing to see if it indeed fixed the problem.  The toy catapulted off the table and into the sink across the room._

**[[[PAYBACK]]]**

_“Do it again, mama!”  The child shrieked with joy and pointed at the sink._

_Raine retrieved the toy from the sudsy water and patted it dry on a Mesmerize pelt.  She decided to one-up herself this time and propelled the car off of a long countertop.  Instead of landing in the sink, the small toy ended up in a flowerpot.   “Oops, bad aim.”  She grabbed the boy and took him into her arms, embracing him tightly._

_He turned his featureless face up to meet hers.  “Thanks for fixin’ my car, mama.”  He snuggled his body into hers and sighed.  Raine held him close, gently swaying in the middle of the kitchen.  She closed her eyes for a moment of peace, savoring the way his little body seemed to meld with hers so perfectly when he was in her arms.  They stayed that way for a long moment, Raine opening her eyes at the most perfect of moments.  She saw a figure approaching the house from the back path.  A smiling Laguna spied her through the glass, waving wildly._

_Raine put the boy down and motioned to the back door.  “Daddy’s home, love.  Go open the door for him.”_

**[[[PAYBACK]]]**

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Raine awoke feeling more refreshed than she had in quite some time.  She was disappointed that she couldn’t recall anything about the dream she had during the middle of the night, as it left her with a very serene sensation. The sun was just beginning to rise.  She rolled over and looked at her bedside clock, an antique that Ash had given her as a gift years ago.  She smiled at the sight of the clock, knowing that it would always remind her of the time they had together. 

Raine lay in bed for a few minutes, watching as the rising sun made shadows dance across her walls.  She turned her head to look at Laguna, who smiled at her from the frame.  “You’ve always got something to smile at, don’t you Loire?”  She grabbed the photo and kissed it.  “I promise I’ll find Squall and Elle.  I’ll make sure they know how much you would have loved to be a bigger part of their lives.”

Raine got out of bed and headed off to a nice hot shower, where she daydreamed about the life she hoped she would soon be getting back. 


	27. Phoenix Chapter Twenty-six

Phoenix:  Chapter Twenty-six

                Ash didn’t get much sleep that night.  It left him looking haggard and exhausted.  A sane man would have been shocked by his appearance, and would even try and remedy the situation with some cold water to the face or a relaxing shower.  Ash, however, was pleased with his form and mood.  It would make today’s confession more convincing.  He _had_ to look the part of a guilty man if he wanted Raine to believe him. 

He intentionally avoided breakfast, which didn’t raise any alarm bells to Raine.  He would sometimes skip the morning meal with her if he had work to do.  But when he also missed lunch, Raine came looking.  He informed her that he wasn’t feeling well, through a closed and locked door.

It really wasn’t that big of a lie.

_I should be okay by dinner, Raine.  I’m just feeling a little off today.  You should go pack some more.  Don’t worry about me._

She had left a tray with a bowl of chicken soup and crackers to help in his “recovery”, a small but caring gesture that tugged on Ash’s heartstrings.  He knew how much she cared for him, and this little sign of compassion cemented it.  He never ate the soup, instead choosing to dump it down the toilet. 

 Ash spent most of the day sitting in his bathroom behind closed doors. He wasn’t ill, but wanted to make sure Raine couldn’t hear him should she come to check on him.  He rehearsed over and over, making sure he came off as remorseful, guilty.  He worked on producing tears on command and should the need arise, hiccupping sobs.  He needed to sound like a shamed man, one who was desperately grasping at forgiveness.

For hours he re-played the imagined scenario in his mind, preparing for any reactions that Raine might have.  Would she cry?  Scream?  Lash out violently?  The latter worried him, as he knew Raine could easily hurt him.

After countless hours of preparing, Ash took a moment to tousle his hair to make himself look more disheveled and out of sorts.  He left the bathroom with his shirt untucked and slightly rumpled, and without his trademark tie.  The sun was just beginning to set.  He knew Raine would be putting the final preparations on what would be their last meal together, although only Ash knew that to be true.

He sat on his bed next to his nightstand.  Opening the drawer, he produced a small envelope.  He dumped out the contents—a single blue pill no bigger than a pea—into his palm.  He stared at it for a moment, marveling at how something so small could be so powerful.  He tucked it into his pants pocket and sat. 

_Everything you have worked so hard for is about to start.  Keep your cool.  Don’t fuck it up._

He exhaled sharply and reminded himself to keep a smirk from gracing his face.  He had to play this part carefully.  If Raine grew suspicious, the whole plan would crumble, and all his hard work would be for nothing.

The setting sun made shadows all around his room.  He watched as miniscule particles of dust caught the sunlight and seemed to glisten as they ebbed and flowed on the room’s air currents before falling to the floor. 

Ash slapped his thighs in readiness and left his bedroom for the kitchen.  He could smell fish baking.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“Ash, bring the glasses to the table, ok?  I’ll have cola.”

Ash filled the glasses as he covertly watched Raine carry two prepared plates into the dining room.  When she was out of sight, he fished the small pill from his pocket and dropped it into her glass, where it immediately began to fizz, the bubbles blending in with the carbonation.  He gave it a quick stir and the tablet disintegrated into the beverage.

He followed her and placed her glass next to her plate, then seated himself.  He looked down at his hands nervously, drawing attention to his apparent emotional state.  His brow was sweating, and he used his napkin to wipe it dry.

“Ash?  Are you feeling okay?”

He looked up to meet Raine’s concerned face.  “Yeah…I’m just feeling a little flushed, that’s all.  Maybe it’s menopause.”  He picked up his cutlery and began slicing into the flaky white fish.  “This looks delicious, Raine.”

She eyed him suspiciously for a moment before taking a drink of her cola.  “Whatever you say, Ash.  Menopause…” she chuckled and sipped her drink again.  Ash watched closely as she drank, wondering if she would notice any difference in taste.  She had to drink the whole glass for the drug to work properly.

Ash picked at his plate, never eating more than a morsel at a time.  He pushed the food around and tapped his fingers nervously on the edge of the table.  He watched Raine continue to eat and -- more importantly—drink.

She ate quietly, eyeing Ash with suspicion.  Finishing her cola, she set the glass down and folded her arms across her chest.  “What’s wrong, Ash?  And don’t say ‘nothing’ because I know you better than that.  Something’s obviously bothering you.  Tell me what’s on your mind.”

Ash closed his eyes for a second, mentally preparing himself for he was about to say.  He had to stifle a smile, as he was internally ecstatic that he was finally beginning.

“Raine, I…uhh…” he brought his gaze up from his still-full plate to look into her eyes.  Her brow was furrowed with a mixture of concern and suspicion.  “…We need to have a serious discussion.  I…”  He averted his eyes again, this time staring at the fork he had carelessly dropped onto his plate.  This was going exactly as he had planned.

“Ash?  What’s going on?”  Her voice had a pleading tone to it.

_This is it._

Ash inhaled very slowly and deeply through his nose, then let the breath out through pursed lips.  “Raine, I’ve been keeping something from you…from the beginning, actually…”  He didn’t continue right away, instead he tried to gauge her emotions.  Her hands were beginning to shake, and Ash could see that her complexion was becoming paler by the second. 

She frowned.  “I don’t know if I want to hear this.”

Ash, following his carefully rehearsed act, picked at his thumbnail with his other fingers, refusing to make any more eye contact with her.  He stalled for a moment, breathing heavily and with a nervous hitch.

His voice was meek and submissive.  “Do you…do you know what a Phoenix is?”  He finally raised his eyes to meet hers.

“Yes.  It’s a mythical bird that’s resurrected from its own ashes.”

Ash exhaled sharply through his nose.  “That’s correct, it was… _resurrected._ ”  He accentuated the last word heavily.  He eyed her, seeing if his emphasis had stuck a chord with her.  

She sat unmoving, save for her trembling hands.  Her crystal blue eyes pierced Ash, but he didn’t waver.  He kept up his faux nervous front, and tapped his fingers on the tabletop anxiously, breathing erratically.

“Doctor Odine had a clandestine project:  Project Perfect Phoenix.  It was to see if a deceased individual could be brought back to life…and to find out if they would retain or be able to regain memories of their former life before death.”  He continued to dart his eyes around the room, only making eye contact with Raine for a second at a time.  His lower lip quivered slightly, and he exhaled. 

“You were the only successful trial, Raine.”

She stared at him blankly, and he wondered for a moment if she had even heard him.  Her lip began to shake as tears welled up in her eyes.  “Wha…What are you saying, Ash?  Was I…was I dead?”

Ash hung his head, willing himself not to smirk.  His next words were laden with guilt.  “You weren’t found on a train…”  He shook his head while he spoke.  “You died shortly after giving birth to Squall.  A man named Barclay in Winhill worked for Odine…he gave up your body.  Odine brought you back to life using chemicals and electric current.  When you didn’t progress fast enough for him, he turned the project over to me.”

Raine’s whole body shuddered, her composure crumbling.  Tears streamed down her face. “I…I don’t understand.  How could you do this to me? You didn’t think that the fact that I had been brought back from the dead was important enough to tell me? You knew this whole time where I was from…that I had a child!   You could have told me from the very beginning instead of making me suffer for years!  Why did you do this to me?”

Ash immediately became defensive.  “It was Odine!  He made me keep all the information from you.  I…I wanted to tell you the moment I got your case, I swear!”  Once again, he hung his head and waited for Raine to respond.  He waited for a long moment, not looking at her.  Her hiccupping sobs were the only indication that she was still even in the room.  When he finally looked up, he had no time to react as Raine reached across the table and slapped his face.

“I guess I deserved that.”  He rubbed his stinging cheek.

She was no longer crying and her distraught expression was now flushed with rage.  “You will take me to Winhill…first thing in the morning!  Then you will turn yourself in to the authorities for keeping me prisoner for so long.”  Her tone was forceful.  “I trusted you, Ash.  After all we’ve been through together, I can’t fathom you would be so cruel and betray me like this.  You’re nothing more than a con artist, not a doctor.”  She got up to leave.  “I’m going to my suite.  Don’t you dare try and follow me.”

“W…wait!  Raine, you can go…but there’s more you need to hear.  Hear me out, and then you can leave.”  He rose and began to approach her.

Raine growled.  “Get away from me, Ash!  I’ll have you on the ground faster than you could ever imagine.”  She raised her fists into a fighting position. 

Ash backed off, raising his hands in mock surrender.  “I won’t come any closer, just hear me out.  I…I lied about something else.”  He reached his hand into his front shirt pocket and pulled out a photo.  Ash held it in his hands for a moment before offering it to Raine.

With trembling hands she quickly snatched the picture from Ash.  A look of confusion mixed with sadness crossed her face.

Ash’s voice was hardly a whisper.  “That’s your son, Raine.  Squall Leonhart.  The picture is from several years back, when he was seventeen.  He had just come back from fighting the Second Sorceress War.  I’m sorry I couldn’t find a more recent photo.”  He spied her for a moment, watching as she traced her finger down the length of the photo, misty eyed. The image was an official Balamb Garden one taken soon after the war had ended.  He was unsmiling, his legendary Gunblade slung over his right shoulder.

Once again, tears began to fall from Raine’s eyes.  “Oh Hyne, he looks like Laguna…”  She brought her hand to her mouth, covering it, and cradled the photo against her bosom.  She then shot Ash a piercing look.  “Don’t think this absolves you of anything, Ash.”

Ash took a few steps towards Raine, but when she snarled and backed up, he retreated, stopping dead in his tracks.  “Get out of my way, Ash.  I’m leaving…NOW.”  She stared him down with the ferocity of a Wendigo.  Then she added sarcastically, “Or is there anything else you’d like to cop to?”

He scratched the back of his neck nervously, purposely stalling to enhance the tension.  Her reactions were so amazing; Ash was having difficulty staying somber and guilt-ridden.  He stuffed his hands in his pockets. 

“Spit it out, Ash!”

He continued to stare at her, seeing just how long she would wait.  A small masochistic part of his brain actually wanted her to strike him again.  He licked his lips in anticipation, eyes darting around in an attempt to look shamefaced. 

Raine tapped her foot impatiently, still clutching the photo over her heart.  She stared him down with an icy glare.  “I swear to Hyne, Ash.  I’m going to get violent in a minute.”

Taking this as his cue, he finally spoke up. “He was commander of a mercenary force out of Balamb, although now he lives in Esthar…with Laguna.”

“L…Laguna?”  Raine’s voice was barely a whisper.  She looked as though she were trying to force words from her mouth. 

“Laguna’s alive.  We—Odine and I—we lied to you.  We didn’t want you to try and contact him.  We were scared he would imprison us if he found out about you.”  He removed his hands from his pockets and clasped them together in front of his body in a pleading gesture.  “You have to believe me when I tell you that we had no idea you two were connected when we…well, when we received your body.  We realized it much later, and by then it was too late.  We were in too deep with the project already.  That’s why we had to move out here on our own.  Odine made me sever all ties with his lab and blackmailed me to cover his own ass.”

Raine moved closer to Ash and struck him again, this time with a fist to the eye.  Ash staggered back and dropped to one knee.  “Rot in Hell, Ash!  Take me to Laguna…NOW!”  A fire Ash had never seen raged behind her azure eyes.  “You are the lowest of lowlifes.  You took my trust, my friendship—my LIFE—and stepped on it with shit-covered shoes! Then on top of it all, you told me the love of my life was dead…even though you knew it would crush me.  You stole these last twenty-some odd years from me!   I hope you waste away in prison for the rest of your life for what you’ve done!”

Ash rose, swaying slightly from the recent impact to his head.  He covered his eye with one hand.

Raine’s fists were clenched, squeezing the photo of Squall into a tight roll.  “You will take me to Laguna tonight…and maybe he will show mercy on you for bringing me in without a struggle.”  Her trembling lips were curled into a furious sneer, her cheeks flushed bright crimson.  “Get the hell out of my way, Ash.  Or do you want to get clocked again?”  She raised her fists once more and readied her body in a fighting stance.

Ash finally stepped aside, allowing her to pass.  She quickly moved around him.  “Get on the phone with Esthar now!  I want someone here to pick me up tonight!”  She made a beeline towards the door but was stopped by the sound of Ash’s melancholy voice.

“I’m sorry, Raine.  For everything…”  His voice quavered, and he worked to produce tears, which pooled at the bottom of his eyeglass lenses.  He removed them and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

“Go fuck yourself, Ash.  You’re not a damn bit sorry and you know it.”  She ran off down the hall, not pausing to scream, “I hate you!”

He barely heard Raine’s door slam.  When he was satisfied that she would no longer come back and wouldn’t be able to hear him, he slumped into a chair and breathed a sigh of relief.  A wicked grin spread across his face and he had to stifle an evil laugh.  He couldn’t believe how perfectly she had reacted.  Her rage and pain were more than he ever expected. 

A small part of his brain, barely alive anymore, felt a twinge of guilt and remorse-- He still loved her deep in his soul.  Even his love wasn’t enough to override the majority of his mind, which instantly devoured any trace of decency left in him.  He checked his watch.  Raine would be deep asleep within the hour.  The pill he had slipped into her drink was a high-dose sleeping medication, one that would keep her asleep and completely unaware of her environment and anything going on in it for at least eight hours.

The time was almost seven o’clock.  He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bag of frozen peas to hold over his aching eye.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Raine stomped around her suite in a frenzy.  Her mind was racing, and not able to form coherent thoughts.  Everything in her life had been turned upside down in mere minutes.  Not knowing exactly what to do with herself, she ran into her bedroom and flung her body on the bed.  Burying her head under a pillow, she sobbed until she had no more tears left to give. 

She felt so betrayed, so hurt.  Then her mind reminded her that Laguna was alive, and Squall was safe.  Her expression softened as she removed her head from underneath the downy pillow.  She rolled on to her back, pulling the photo of Squall out from under her body.  She stared at the picture, pulling every detail she could about him from the image. Raine stared at his face, the angular lines of his cheeks, the scar that crossed the bridge of his nose.  She wondered how he had received such a brutal mark at such a young age.  Raine chalked it up to living the very dangerous life of a mercenary.  His clothing was very unique, a ruffled fur collar on a leather jacket, ammunition for his gunblade strapped to his thighs.  The weapon looked vicious, glowing with an eerie blue light.  She then noticed her gleaming platinum pendant hanging around his neck.  The fact that it had somehow stayed with him through his whole life gave her a bit of solace.  The necklace had been a gift from her father on his deathbed, and she treasured it.  She wondered if he also had the matching ring.  She made a mental note to ask him when she saw him.    That single thought, that she would soon see her son, brought her to tears once more.  Her emotions were going haywire.  One minute she was furious over Ash’s betrayal, and the next she was ecstatic that she would soon be reunited with her family.  She desperately wanted to hold Laguna in her arms, to see how Ellone and Squall had grown. 

Her eyelids began to feel strangely heavy, her eyesight becoming blurry.  Frowning, she tried to sit up in bed, only to have what seemed like hundred-pound weights bogging her down.  She attempted to roll over onto her side to get out of the bed, but found herself unable to move.  Her eyes fluttered shut as the blackness consumed her.  She still clutched the photo of Squall.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

                                                                                                       

Eight-thirty arrived and Ash gingerly knocked on Raine’s door.  He received no response.  He knocked harder; just to be sure she was out of commission before he opened the door with a master keycard. 

He stepped inside, noticing the boxes of belongings she had already packed before their confrontation.  The room smelled of the woman, like flowers and clean linens.  He inhaled deeply, savoring the scent that he would no longer be able to smell after tonight.  He briefly contemplated taking an article of clothing that belonged to her, so he could remember her scent, but decided against it.  He wouldn’t want anything to seem amiss. 

“Raine?”  Ash’s voice was quiet.  He moved through the suite carefully, just in case she was hiding and ready to ambush him.  He approached her bedroom and heard the faint sound of soft snoring.  He peeked his head inside to find Raine, completely laid out on her bed, unconscious. 

He tapped her arm lightly, and when he received no acknowledgement, he smiled.  His little blue pill had done its job.  He knew that he now had at least eight hours to do his final preparations.  He lightly moved a lock of hair that had fallen over her eyes and left her to dream.


	28. Phoenix Chapter Twenty-seven

Phoenix:  Chapter Twenty-seven

                Ash returned to his office and wasted no time in overturning his chair and sweeping most of the contents of his desktop to the floor.  He pushed the desk out slightly, making sure there was enough room.

Satisfied it looked like there had been a struggle in the small space, he backtracked down the hall, knocking over potted plants along the way.  He tipped a padded chair next to the front door on its side and then went outside.  Ash turned and kicked his foot at the glass with all of his might.  The glass cracked and buckled, but did not break.  He kicked again, sending his foot through the pane.  Ash didn’t bother to close the door when he went back inside—the force fields were still on.  

Suddenly sensing the pangs of hunger deep in his belly, he made his way to the kitchen.  Before eating, he cleaned up the dinner dishes.  He needed it to look like life had gone on as usual that night.  

When the dishes were stowed in the dishwasher, he helped himself to a slice of Raine’s strawberry-topped cake, a beer and a bag of chips.  He sat silently for almost an hour, munching on his snack and reviewing what would happen when the Warden’s delivery men arrived.

As he ate the last of his snack, he noticed headlights approaching from the east, just as he had instructed.  Ash wiped his greasy hands on the front of his pants and tossed his trash in the wastebasket.   He made his way to the back door, lowering the force fields in the process.

Ash stepped out into the warm desert night.  The day’s heat had yet to dissipate. The headlights of the vehicle he had seen through the window came closer, the dust from the road reflecting in the light.  The truck pulled up to the back entrance, and was unmarked, the only recognizable features being layers of caked-on dirt and grime.  Someone had even written the word “dickbag” in the dust. 

Two men got out of the truck, one from the driver’s seat, the other from the back doors.  There were no words between any of the men, just a body being unceremoniously dropped at Ash’s feet, wrapped in heavy plastic sheeting.  Without a single word or any acknowledgement on anyone’s part, the two delivery men climbed back into their vehicle and sped off into the desert.  Ash could just barely see the red glow of the tail lights as they became obscured by the rising dust cloud the truck had produced.

Ash rolled up his sleeves and began to drag his delivery inside.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

He unwrapped his cargo carefully.   Whomever it was had been stripped completely nude.  The man had been savagely beaten:  his face smashed, nose broken and several teeth missing.  His torso was bruised and Ash suspected there were multiple broken ribs.

The height and weight of the man matched Ash’s perfectly, as did the hair and eye color.   He could discern his eyes were blue because the man’s lifeless gaze stared up at him.  Ash began to undress completely down to his briefs, which he removed.  He then dressed the convict’s body in his own clothes, even loosely securing his tie around the neck.  He put his shoes on the body and stood back to make sure everything looked perfect.  It truly looked like Ash himself had been beaten to death.

He left his office, and strolled down the hall stark naked.  The plastic sheeting that had encased the corpse was balled up and in his arms.  He detoured from the path to his apartment to the trash incinerator, where he tossed the sheet into the furnace.  Ash started the burner, obliterating any evidence. 

Ash returned to his apartment, dressed, and found his extra pair of glasses.  He put that pair on and tucked his good spectacles into this shirt pocket, but not before cracking one of the lenses and bending the frames.

He looked at his watch.  The time was one in the morning.  He had only two hours to finish his preparations.  Ash grabbed a towel from his linen cabinet and a spare razor blade from the bathroom drawer.  He exited the room and made his way towards the front door.  He took one last look at the place he had called home for more than twenty years and turned off the light as he closed the door behind him.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Ash dropped the towel and blade on Raine’s couch and entered her bedroom.  The woman still lay in exactly the same position, an indication that the sleep medication was still hard at work.  Her breathing was deep and rhythmic, her chest rising and falling with each breath.

He sat down on the bed next to her, taking her hand in his own.  He stroked her face gently, and ran his thumb over her slightly parted lips.  He leaned in close and kissed her deeply, not caring that she had no way to say no to his advances. The kiss lasted a few moments, and he was able to just barely taste the last traces of the sweet cola on her lips.  He broke from her, sitting up and letting his eyes wander up and down her defenseless body.

He touched her neck gently with his palm, picking up the pulsing beat of her heart.  He dared to let his hand venture lower until he came to her breasts.  Using both hands, he caressed her chest, feeling the heavy material of her bra though her shirt.  He wanted more.  He moved his hands underneath the thin fabric of her top and moved his hands under her brassiere.  Ash marveled at how soft and warm her skin was.  He found himself thinking lustful thoughts as he fondled her, shoving aside concern over dignity or how she would react had she been conscious.

His eyes travelled lower to the waistband of her blue jeans.  Ash licked his lips, his libido taking full control.  He had never wanted her as bad as he did right at that moment.  Everything he had been pushing down within himself, all the feelings of love and lust, were bubbling up like oil from a well.

Ash trailed his hands down her stomach, feeling the toned abs she had worked so hard to maintain with her strict workout regimen.  He traced his finger around her navel, watching as her abdomen rose fell with each breath.   Whatever was left of his conscience was slowly being eaten by his desire.

He began to slide his fingers underneath the button of the pants, when a thought occurred to him.  If he acted on his carnal impulses, there would be evidence that Raine had been violated.  Even in his maniacal state, he realized that he loved her too much to have her this way.

He took a cleansing breath and re-positioned her bra back into its original place.  He smoothed out her shirt and took a moment to passionately kiss her one last time.  Ash then leaned close to her ear and whispered a message.

“Be a good girl and complete your mission, Miss Raine.  I love you more than you will ever know.”

She never stirred in the slightest.  He got up and took a moment to gaze upon her one last time. 

“Goodbye, Raine.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Retrieving the razor and towel from her couch, Ash left Raine’s apartment for the final time.  He didn’t bother lock up.  They never felt the need to in the past.

He entered the front foyer where the large ornamental clock emblazoned with the Odine Labs logo read a quarter to two. He unfolded the towel and held the razor up; fascinated by the way the blade caught the light.  He raised his left hand near his chest, palm up.  Without hesitation, Ash sliced into his palm in two places, producing a significant flow of blood.  He let the red liquid drip from his fingertips onto the floor, shaking his hand so it would splatter.  He made his way down the hall towards his office, stopping occasionally to wipe his bloody hand on the walls or track his feet through the crimson pools on the stark white tile floor.  He loved the way the color of the blood seemed to pop out from the bleached floor tiles.

When he arrived at his office, he wiped his bloody hand all over the dead man’s clothes and face, and the furniture in the room until it became apparent that there had been a massive and violent struggle.  He placed his broken glasses slightly askew on the corpse’s face.  He then wiped off his bloody shoes on the towel he carried with him.  The last important detail was to wipe some of the blood from the towel on the shoes of the dead man.  He was pleased.

Ash wrapped his oozing hand in the towel and applied pressure.  He looked to the nameless man lying splayed out on the floor, battered and bloody.  He knew this would work.  It had to.

He only planned to take one item with him, and when he was satisfied that the office looked like a crime scene, he opened a bottom file cabinet drawer and retrieved his cargo.  He turned in the doorway, taking one last glimpse at everything he was leaving behind.  He was really going to miss his gold pen.

“Rest in peace, Doctor William Ash.”

He headed towards the front entrance of the complex, toting the case that housed his 9mm pistol.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Three o’clock came and right on time, X’s man arrived to take him to Heaven’s Hope. Holding a bloody towel in his throbbing hand and sporting a nasty shiner around his eye (courtesy of Raine), he left his home—and his love—behind, tripping the silent alarm as he left. 


	29. Phoenix Chapter Twenty-eight

 Phoenix:  Chapter Twenty-eight

 

                “Prepare yourselves, ladies and gentlemen.  The silent alarm on this place was tripped, so we can speculate that there was some sort of forced entry.” 

The police sergeant barked his commands back through the tactical van.  The vehicle sped towards the Odine Genetics Complex—off limits because of sensitive research—from their outpost on the outskirts of Esthar.  The lab had been closed to anyone but the highest-cleared scientists twenty-plus years prior, due to bio-sensitive projects.  Or so it had been said.  The alarm triggered the police alert system soon after three a.m., and it took no longer than twenty minutes to arrive.

“Reports indicate there are only two inhabitants.  Find them and make sure they are safe.  Any suspects are to be neutralized with less-lethal force if at all possible.”  The van hit a bump in the road, knocking the sergeant off-balance for a moment.  “Sixty seconds!  Saddle up, people!”

The van skidded to a halt and the officers leapt out of the back, weapons drawn.  The sergeant took point, leading his team up to and through the front gate. He silently motioned to the officer at the front of the line to move up.  She took over the leading position and went ahead, leaving the others to guard her rear.  She approached the door, kicked in and left ajar.

“Forced entry, sir.”  She spoke clearly but quietly into her radio headset, broadcasting her response to the rest of the team.  The sergeant joined her and motioned for the other team members to follow as they entered the building. 

“Blood on the floor…and signs of a struggle.”

The group split up, two officers following the sergeant down the bloody hall, and the other two going down the opposite hallway, towards the employee quarters.  “Remember, only two people are reported to work and live here.  Find them.”  The sergeant pointed his motioned down the adjacent hall.  “Move out, people.”

A young rookie officer spoke up.  “Only two?  Why the hell would Odine only have two staff members in such a huge place?”

The sergeant shot him an annoyed glare.  “Shut up and concentrate on the investigation.  Who knows why Odine did the things he did?  Now get moving.”

 The teams began their sweep of the building.  The sergeant took the rookie and the female officer and headed down the hall that looked like it had been witness to a horrible struggle.  “Look at all this blood.”  The rookie covered his mouth as if he were going to vomit.

The officers came upon a slightly cracked door, adorned with a bloody handprint.  The two younger police stood on each side of the door, backs to the wall and guns drawn.  The sergeant pushed the door open carefully with the toe of boot, just barely peeking his head inside to survey the scene.

“We’ve got a body.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Raine put a hand over her eyes, shielding them from the bright overhead lights of her bedroom.  Her head felt fuzzy, and her mouth was as dry as cotton.  She tried to remember how she had fallen asleep with all the lights blazing, and why she was still dressed in her day clothes.  Her brow furrowing, she set the photo of Squall down, which was still clenched tightly in her hand, and rubbed her hands across her face and eyes in an attempt to rouse herself. Everything felt “off” and her body ached like she hadn’t moved for hours.  Groaning, she rolled onto her side and stared at her clock.  Thinking her eyes were deceiving her, she squinted to get a better look.

Three-forty-six a.m.

The memories of the previous night came flooding back to her and she flew into rage.  “That son of a bitch!”

Her mind began to race.  How could she have slept for almost eight hours? Why didn’t Ash wake her when her transportation from Esthar arrived?  She leaped from her bed, furious.  She made up her mind that she would find Ash, who had obviously not contacted anyone in Laguna’s camp, and beat him senseless.  Then she would contact Esthar herself.

It was just as she was approaching the door to the living room when she heard voices.  Voices she did not recognize.  She pushed her body flush with wall and put her ear on the closed door.

_“…looks like someone uses this suite….check the bedroom…”_

Raine panicked.  She suddenly wished she had Ash’s gun.  Her mind went over different scenarios as to who the intruders might be.  Were they criminals?  Laguna’s men?  Police?  Her eyes darted around the room quickly, looking for a heavy object she could use as a bludgeon to defend herself.  She was not about to take any chances.  Her eyes rested on the antique brass clock Ash had given her. 

She swiftly zipped to the bedside table, grabbing the timepiece.  She was back at her sentry position at the door within seconds.  Raine raised the clock and readied herself for battle.

The door opened slightly and Raine could see the muzzle of an assault rifle poking around the side.  She gasped quietly, terrified.   She clutched the clock with trembling hands, saying a quick prayer before she leapt out and smashed it down onto the weapon, knocking it from the hands of her assailant. 

“Esthar Police!  Hands up!”

Raine obeyed, overcome with relief at the sight of the officer.  The clock clattered to the floor, breaking the glass face.  “Police!  Thank Hyne you’re here!  I’m being held prisoner, help me!  Take me to Laguna!”  She sobbed, unable to wipe her falling tears from her eyes with raised hands.

The officer who still had a weapon kept it trained on Raine as his counterpart picked his rifle up from the floor.  Raine lowered her gaze to her chest, where a dot from a laser sight rested over her heart.  The rear officer spoke first.  “Laguna?  You mean ‘President Loire?’   Who are you and why do you believe you’re being imprisoned?”

Raine, hands still held high, let the floodgates open.  “My name is Raine Loire and Doctor Ash…”

The front officer held up a hand to silence her in mid-sentence.  “Wait, did you just say your name is ‘Loire?’” 

 “Yes!  Laguna is my husband and Doctor Ash has been keeping me here against my will for over twenty years!”

The two officers exchanged suspicious glances.  “There’s no way you can be the President’s wife.  She died decades ago.”

Tears streamed down Raine’s face.  “You’re right, I did die decades ago!  I was used in a sick secret project of Doctor Odine’s.  Find Ash and make him confess!”  Her arms began to shake, becoming exhausted from holding them aloft.  “Can I please put my arms down?”

The front-most officer nodded and Raine dropped her arms, letting them rest across her chest.  The rear officer spoke into his radio.  “We found a survivor, sir.  She claims she’s the President’s wife.” 

Confused, Raine dared to speak up.  “Survivor?  Where’s Ash?  What happened?”

The cop waved her off so he could continue talking.  “Yes, sir…I understand.  What can I tell her?”  He listened intently.  “Yes sir, affirmative.”

Raine began to wring her hands.  “What’s going on?”

“There’s been a break-in.  Doctor Ash is dead.”

Raine stared at him for a moment, dumbfounded.  A part of her was angry that Ash would never be held accountable for his actions.  She was also scared, because the only two people who knew about her and the project were now deceased.  Another portion of her mind was relieved that Ash could no longer hurt her, and a tiny, almost minuscule part of her emotions felt sadness, even though he had crushed everything in her life the night before. 

“He’s…he’s dead?”  Raine moved her hands to her mouth, covering it.  “How?”

The back officer eyed her.  “We were hoping you could tell us.  It’s a big mess out there…a lot of damage.  You didn’t hear anything?”

Raine wracked her brain, trying to come up with any evidence that would help the officers.  “I didn’t hear a thing.  The last thing I remember is falling asleep around eight o’clock.  I’ve never slept that soundly in my life.  The next thing I know, you guys are here.”  She fought for the courage to ask the officers her next question.  “How did he die?”

“It appears that he was beaten.” 

Raine sat down on her bed, head in hands.  “Oh Hyne, did you catch the person who did it?  Why would someone do such a thing?  It’s not like we have anything of value here.”

The officer shook his head.  “Don’t know, ma’am.  You said something about finding Ash and making him confess.  Confess to what, exactly?”

“I told you, he and Odine had a secret project—me.  I’m sure his files have all the information you need.  But, who knows, I couldn’t trust him any further than I could throw him.”  She lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.  “I just recently regained all my memories—after having them be nonexistent for over twenty years.  I was lied to…Ash told me Laguna was dead years ago to keep me from trying to contact him.”  She stood again and approached the officer, taking one of his hands in hers.  “Please take me to Laguna!  I’m so frightened.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX

 

“Loire’s wife, huh?  I thought she was dead.”  The police sergeant turned to face his colleagues.  “Any of those file cabinets say the name Raine?  Or Raine Loire?”

He watched as the rookie moved to step over the body.  He skimmed the front of the drawers, stopping at one labeled “Raine.”  “Yessir, right here.  ‘Raine.’  There’s also a few labeled, ‘Project Perfect Phoenix.’”

The sergeant got on his radio.  “Dispatch?  Send a meat wagon, and contact Ambassador Seagill in the President’s office.  Get him out here ASAP…and don’t inform the President.”

He stepped over the corpse on the floor and began to flip through random folders in the cabinet.  The two younger officers watched silently.  After several moments of skimming, the sergeant finally spoke.  “Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle…she’s telling the goddamned truth.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_A/N:  The sergeant in this chapter is based on Sgt. Apone from Aliens.  I imagined him looking and acting exactly like him, and I just had to add his line, “Saddle up, people!”  Just a little tidbit.   _


	30. Phoenix Chapter Twenty-nine

Phoenix:  Chapter Twenty-nine

_“Kiros Seagill?  This is Officer Drake with the Esthar Tactical Unit.”_

Kiros grumbled and rubbed his eyes.  “This had better be important.  Do you know what time it is?”  He tried to focus his eyes in the pre-dawn light filtering through his bedroom blinds.  He fumbled for the clock, and brought it close to his face to read the glowing red numerals.  Five after four in the morning.  Groaning, he replaced the timepiece on his nightstand and rolled onto his back. 

_“We need your assistance at the old Odine Genetics Lab, Ambassador.  There’s been an incident.”_

Kiros threw his arm over his face.  “Why on Earth would you need me?  You’re the bloody police.”

_“Mister Ambassador, it’s of the utmost importance that you get here as soon as possible, and that you don’t inform the president.”_

Kiros was intrigued.  “Don’t inform the president?  What exactly went on out there?”

_“All I have been given the liberty to say is that there has been an event here, and I was instructed to contact you and request your presence.”_

He slipped out of bed, wincing at the cold tiles under his feet.  “This had better be as imperative as you say it is.  I’ll be there in thirty minutes.”

 He disconnected the call and tossed his phone onto the bed.  He screwed his eyes shut as he turned on the bedside lamp.    A figure stirred under the covers, turning over to avoid the offending light _._ “For Hyne’s sake, turn that light off!Don’t you realize it’s four in the morning?” 

“Go back to sleep, love.  I’ve just got some business to take care of.  I won’t be gone long.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Kiros arrived to find a crime scene.  Yellow tape crossed the front door, which had been kicked in and forced open.  As he entered the building, he noticed several streaks of blood leading down a hallway to his left.  Coming towards him from said hallway were two coroner’s assistants, pushing a gurney with a body bag.  The police sergeant followed alongside them, and nodded to acknowledge Kiros.

“Ambassador Seagill, thank you for getting here so quickly.”  The man was large and muscular, covered in body armor, an assault rifle slung over his shoulder.  He offered his hand to Kiros.  “‘Name’s Sergeant Murdock.  Sorry we couldn’t meet under better circumstances.”

Kiros shook the man’s hand, cringing under the fierce grip that came with it.  “Likewise, Sergeant.  You’ve got me here now, so would you mind telling me what is so damned important that you needed to drag me out of bed at five in the morning?  Never mind the fact that I was instructed not to bring this to President Loire’s attention?”  Kiros stifled a yawn.

Murdock signed off on the coroner’s chart and shooed the men away, gurney in tow.  “Would you mind following me, Ambasssdor?”  The sergeant motioned down the hallway.

“Of course.  What’s with the gurney?”  Kiros watched as the men wheeled the body out of the broken door, lifting the police tape as the exited. 

“I’ll get to that, sir.”

The two men walked down the hall, which was stained with blood and in disarray.  “I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that all this blood has something to do with the body that just left?”

Murdock stopped and faced Kiros.  “Are you familiar with a Doctor William Ash?” 

Kiros thought for a moment.  “No, can’t say that I recognize that name.” 

The two men continued to walk.  “He worked for Odine for a number of years, and then moved out here.  He’s the one in the bag, by the way.  The silent alarm was tripped this morning.  When we got here, we found him in his office.  He had been beaten to death.”  The two men arrived at a door, crisscrossed with more yellow caution tape.  “After you, Ambassador.  Mind the blood on the floor.”

Kiros ducked under the tape to gain entry into the small office.  “It looks like a bomb went off in here, sergeant.”  He moved against the side wall, careful not to step in any blood or touch anything that might be considered evidence. 

“Yeah, there was quite a struggle in here, as you can see.  Whoever did this was strong, and brutal.  You should see the body.  Twenty years on the force and it was still enough to make me cringe.”  Murdock handed Kiros a pair of latex gloves.  “Put these on.”

Kiros obliged, still confused as to why he had been brought into the middle of the desert to see a crime scene.  “I still don’t understand what this has to do with me, Sergeant.  I know you and your boys are perfectly capable of handling a murder investigation.”

The sergeant concurred. “I couldn’t agree with you more, sir.  You were brought out here for another reason.”  He handed Kiros a file.  “Take a look at that.”

Kiros scowled at the man.  “You brought me out at dawn to look at files?  Couldn’t you have just sent them to my office at a reasonable hour?”

“Just look, Mister Ambassador.  Then you’ll understand why you were summoned.”

Kiros huffed and opened the plain manila folder that had no outside markings.  He mumbled various phrases out loud as he quickly skimmed through the files.  “Project Perfect Phoenix…Odine Labs experiment to raise the dead…electric current and chemicals…  Sergeant, this is all very interesting, but I still don’t get why this couldn’t wait.”

The hulking man tapped the folder.  “Keep reading, Ambassador.”

Kiros sighed, mentally noting to have all calls routed through his secretary first.  “Subject is female from Winhill; age twenty-four…Raine Leonhart-Loire…” 

Kiros suddenly couldn’t speak. He looked at the name over and over again, images of her face flitting through his mind.  He instantly thought of Laguna, and what his ultimate reaction would be if this information panned out to be true.  He finally looked up to the sergeant, his ability to speak having returned. “Where did you find this file?” 

Murdock pointed to the file cabinets.  Kiros strode over to them, pulling open the drawer marked ‘Raine.’  He thumbed through the myriad of files rapidly, a mixture of elation and sadness tugging at his heart with every page he turned.  He pored over the information in the folders, all the specifics of the experiment, how her body was procured.  He stopped when he reached the files with the records of her therapy with Ash.  He almost didn’t dare to ask his next question. 

“Is she here?”

The sergeant nodded. 

“Has she been hurt?”

Murdock shook his head.

“Take me to her.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Kiros entered a homey apartment, which had obviously seen a woman’s touch.  Purple throw pillows and matching blankets were tossed on the couch, and the whole place smelled of fresh flowers and baked goods.  Boxes were stacked near the kitchen door, a sign that someone had recently done some packing.  A young female officer stepped out from the kitchen, toting a cup of steaming coffee. 

“Ambassador Seagill, pleased to meet you.  My name is Officer Tierney.  I take it you’re here to see…her.” 

Kiros nodded.  “Where is she, officer?” 

Tierney placed the cup of coffee in Kiros’ hands and pointed to a door off of the main room.  “She’s in there, sir.  She’s waiting for that.”  She pointed to the hot mug in his hands.

Kiros approached the door, which was guarded by another tactical officer, armed to the teeth.  “Is all that armament really necessary?”  The officer offered no response, instead opened the door for the Ambassador.  Kiros took a deep breath and crossed the threshold.  There, sitting on the edge of a bed clutching what appeared to be a photo frame, was Raine.

She never looked up, instead kept tracing her finger up and down the glass front of the frame.  Kiros stared at her, not able to believe his own eyes.  It most definitely was Raine, the only thing having changed about her in more than twenty years being streaks of silver in her long brown hair.  He cleared his throat.

Looking up, her eyes met his gaze and she gasped, dropping the frame to the floor.  Raine sat unmoving for a moment as she looked Kiros up and down.   She jumped off the bed and ran to him, arms flung wide open. 

“Kiros?  Kiros!  It’s really you!”  She wrapped her arms around his body, spilling the piping hot beverage in his hands onto the floor. 

Kiros stiffened at the contact, inhaling sharply.  He gently pushed her away and held her at arm’s length, trying to get a better look at her.  He scrutinized every detail of the woman in front of him, aiming to find anything that would give him an indication that she was truly who the files said she was.   Raine was sobbing and smiling at the same time, her body shaking. 

“I want to believe that you are indeed Raine Loire, but you have to understand my concerns.  It isn’t every day that the President’s dead wife just appears in the desert.  Sit for a moment; tell me what has been happening out here.”

She plopped down on her bed, Kiros following suit.  “It’s really me, Kiros.  Please take me to Laguna, I’m so scared.”  She wiped the tears from her eyes, and began to spill her pent up emotions in a giant flood.  “Doctor Ash and Doctor Odine experimented on me.  I didn’t have any memories of who I was, and Ash used hypnosis on me to try and regain my memories.  I remembered Laguna, and they lied to me and told me he had been assassinated!”  She clenched her fists and scowled.  “Then, two days ago I fell and hit my head, and everything about my life came flooding back.  Total cliché, huh?”  She quirked a soft smile.

“So you’re saying that you have been living out here for years without any memories of who you were?”

Raine huffed a lock of hair from her forehead.  “I had bits and pieces.  I remembered that I had given birth to a baby, but I didn’t know its sex or name.  I knew Laguna was my husband, but I didn’t remember where we were from.  Turns out Ash and Odine knew everything from the very beginning, and were keeping all the information from me, including the fact that I had died and was brought back to life.  Cold hearted snakes.”

Kiros sat thinking for a long moment.  “I guess I don’t understand fully what has been going on here, but the one thing I do know is that you are who you say you are.  The files I skimmed had genetic data proving your identity.”  He smiled warmly. 

“Raine Loire, in the flesh.”  She held her hands out wide, as if announcing herself.

“Tell me more about this Ash fellow.  You said both he and Odine lied to you about Laguna being dead?”

Raine frowned.  “About twenty-three years ago, I had a dream about Laguna.  I didn’t know his name, only what he looked like.  Then a few years after that, I saw him on television and couldn’t believe my eyes.  I told Ash I thought that he was the man in my dreams, and within two days, they lied to me and told me he had been assassinated.  It wasn’t until last night that I found out they had both lied to cover themselves.”

Kiros’ interest was piqued.  “Last night?”

Raine lowered her eyes to the floor and began tracing the tile pattern with her toes.  “Ash confessed everything to me.  He told me about Project Perfect Phoenix, about Odine wanting to keep information from me, that they had lied to me about Laguna to make sure I would never contact him.  He claimed they truly didn’t know my connection to him at the time of my experiment.  I guess they didn’t want to go to prison if Laguna found out they had been experimenting on his dead wife.”

“What’s the last thing you remember about last night?  I don’t want you to turn out to be a suspect in all of this.”

“I stormed away from Ash and locked myself in here.  Ash promised me he would contact Laguna and send someone to pick me up.  I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remember it was after three a.m. and the police were here.”  Raine looked up to meet Kiros’ gaze.  “Do they think I killed him?  I didn’t!”  Anxiety fell over her expression.  “But I guess I had good reason to, didn’t I?”

“I don’t think you are a suspect at this time, no worries.  But let’s just keep the fact that you and Ash had a blowout between us for the time being, shall we?    I’ll make sure the police don’t question you any further.”

Raine squeezed his hand lightly.  “Kiros?  When can I see my family?” 

Kiros got up from the bed.  “Let me work on that.  In the meantime, why don’t you get your things together and wait here.”

She nodded silently.

Kiros exited the room and closed the door.  He leaned heavily against it for a moment, eyes closed.  His thoughts raced.  There was no doubt in his mind that the woman in the other room was indeed Raine Loire, but he was still extremely skeptical of her appearance out of the blue.  He knew that it looked very suspicious, and that one person in particular within the Loire family would be instantly cynical.    Now the matter of telling Laguna came into his mind.  He had absolutely no idea what he was going to say.  There was no easy way to tell his best friend that his dead wife just happened to be alive and had been less than fifteen miles away for the last twenty-three years.  Not to mention that she had been subject to a terrible experiment at the hands of Doctor Odine.

 It would break Laguna’s heart. 

Kiros knew his friend better than anyone else, and he feared that Laguna would jump headfirst into the situation without knowing all the details.  He needed to ease him in slowly, with facts, not speculations.  The files in Ash’s office were to be his best weapon. 

His thoughts turned to Squall, and he knew Laguna was in for quite a battle with the young Commander.  Where Laguna more than likely wouldn’t hesitate to bring Raine back into their lives instantly, Kiros knew that Squall would be skeptical.  He would look for any ulterior motives that may be lying dormant underneath the surface.  After all, he was a trained military man.  But the young man wasn’t the most forthcoming with his feeling and thoughts, and Kiros worried that Squall would bottle up a lot of his emotions.  Kiros recalled how hard it was for Squall to allow Laguna into his life, and Kiros instantly feared that Squall would have a difficult time accepting Raine.  Kiros also knew that he would more than likely agree with Squall.  Even though he was overjoyed to see Raine alive, something just didn’t feel right to him.  He didn’t know just what exactly, but he knew that this just wasn’t a coincidence that she was found out of the blue like this.  He decided to do more research after he told Laguna and Squall.

 _What a way to start my morning._  

When he opened his eyes, he went in search for Officer Tierney.

“Officer Tierney, please contact Sergeant Murdock and have every member of your tactical team meet me in the dining hall in ten minutes.  As of right now, the office of the President is taking over this investigation and I ask that you no longer speak to anyone about the case or what you have seen here this morning, understood?  Also, please instruct your Sergeant to bring the files I had been looking at in Doctor Ash’s office.  I will need them.”

The young officer smiled and saluted Kiros.  “Right away, Ambassador.  Ten minutes.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Exactly ten minutes after his order was given, Ambassador Seagill sauntered into the dining hall where he found all five members of the SWAT team that had begun the investigation in the wee hours of the morning.  They were all sitting at a long table, cheering on a young officer.  He had a knife in his hand, and was trying not to stab his fingers as he swiftly moved the blade in-between his digits.

Kiros cleared his throat as he approached the table.

Murdock immediately quelled the uproar from the officers.  “Knock it off, Drake.  No more monkey business.”  The young officer stowed his blade in its sheath on his shoulder and focused his attention on Kiros.

“Good morning, lady and gentlemen.  For those of you who don’t know me, I am Ambassador Kiros Seagill.  I work closely with President Loire on day-to-day affairs, as well as serving as Ambassador to Balamb.”

The officers acknowledged him by tipping their helmets and waving hands. 

“As you are all quite aware, the incident that occurred here this morning is out of the ordinary.  I know that you are all very faithful to President Loire, so I hope you all will be willing to cooperate with what I’m about to ask.”  He set a stack of papers down in the middle of the tabletop, along with a few pens.  “As of this moment, this investigation is going to be handled by the President’s personal police force.  They will be arriving within the next hour to begin.  Please read and sign these gag orders.  It is very important that the information regarding the woman found here at the lab not be leaked to the press.  This is going to be a private matter for the President until he decides what will be made public.  The press office of the President will make information available when we deem it time.  Any questions?”

The sergeant stood, hands on hips.  “I think I speak for everyone here, Sir, when I say that we are all loyal to Loire.  We would stand by him no matter what.  If you want us to hold our tongues about this mess, then we’ll do it.  No questions asked.”  He looked around to his officers, stern expression on his face.  They all nodded in agreement.

Kiros internally breathed a sigh of relief.  “Thank you all.  I am glad to see that decency and compassion still have a place in this world.”  He shook Murdock’s hand.  “Now, Officer Tierney, will you please go to the apartment and assist her in getting her belongings together?  I will have a car sent to pick her up.  Inform her that she is not to exit the car in Esthar until someone tells her to do so.”

“Yessir, Ambassador.”

Kiros turned on his heels and left the dining hall, a stack of Project Perfect Phoenix files tucked under his arm.  He would have a lot of reading material for the ride home. 

As he got in his waiting car, he looked at his watch.  It was nearing six in the morning.  Laguna and Squall would no doubt be starting their morning workout ritual soon.  He knew just where he could find them.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX      

 

Ash stepped into the dingy three-room shack that X had procured for him.  The place smelled like dead dogs and dusty upholstery.  It was obvious that whoever lived there before had no housekeeping skills whatsoever.  The walls were stained with who-knows-what, the floor tiles cracked and faded.  The furniture was filthy, the carpets balding in areas of high traffic.  There was a small kitchenette that was splattered with grease and food debris, dishes festering in the sink.  It seemed to Ash that someone had been living here recently, and had left hastily.  He paid it no mind, however, since he now considered the hovel his own.  It was far below the standards of anything he was even remotely used to, but it would work perfectly for hiding. 

He concealed the gun case behind the dilapidated couch then went to inspect the bathroom and bedroom.  Upon entering the room, he was overwhelmed by the unmistakable odor of stale urine, likely coming from the foul-looking mattress in the corner.  There were no blankets on the bed, only stains.  He glanced around the room, locating what appeared to be a linen closet.  Upon further inspection, he found sheets and towels, which appeared to be freshly laundered. 

_Seems like X knows the importance of clean sheets, at least._

The bathroom light was on, flickering and attracting small flying insects.  The sink was partly filled with murky water, the toilet freshly used.  Holding his hand over his nose at the offending stench, Ash flushed the commode, praying that it was functional.  When the contents were sucked down into the sewer, Ash shut the lid and sat down. 

The place was atrocious, but nothing out of the ordinary when it came to Heaven’s Hope. Ash knew that it was the perfect place to hide—and wait for all hell to break loose in Esthar.  He planned on giving Raine ample time to feel comfortable in her new home, to make new memories and forge bonds.  When Raine felt at her most content, Ash would strike.  Her newly minted world would come crashing down around her, taking Laguna and Squall with her. 

Ash couldn’t wait.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

As Kiros journeyed back to Esthar, he voraciously read every bit of information he could about Odine’s horrible project, and the part Raine had been forced to play.  What he read nearly broke his heart.  Raine had endured years terrifying nightmares, painful recollections of memories that she couldn’t interpret.  All under the guise of Ash trying to help her regain her life.  It sickened Kiros to think of this doctor sitting and listening closely as Raine poured her heart and soul out to him, hearing her try and figure out the jumble of memories swimming in her brain.  All the while, this man knew the truth and didn’t have the decency to tell Raine. Not to mention that he and Odine never had any intention of allowing her back to Winhill.   He kept information from her purposely, facts that could have restored her life and brought her back to Laguna.  He understood why they did it—to cover themselves—but it still angered him that poor Raine was in the middle of their sick game.  He only wished Odine were still alive to pay for his crimes.  

He saw the city fast approaching in the distance, and started to prepare what he would tell Laguna and Squall.  His thoughts tumbled in his head, as did his stomach.  His anxiety level was high, and he knew he had to appear calm when he found the two men.  They would pick up on his compromised emotions right away, especially Squall.  Kiros took a calming breath, exhaling slowly through his mouth.  He felt the car slow as it entered the city.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_A/N:  Yes, yes…more Aliens allusions.  I just couldn’t help myself. I almost named Officer Drake “Hicks,” but that would have been a little too out of control.  *swoons for Michael Biehn*   The name Murdock isn’t from Aliens, but you can choose whether it’s an homage to H.M. Murdock from The A-team, or the ultimate crazy villain Murdock from MacGyver.  Both are acceptable.  But here’s the tricky one…anyone catch the Phantasy Star IV reference?  _


	31. Phoenix Chapter Thirty

Phoenix:  Chapter Thirty

                Raine gazed out of the tinted windows at the desert as it flew by her at a fantastic speed, the sand and rocks blurring together.  She didn’t think she had moved this fast since she and Laguna had taken a train to Timber decades ago.  Even though the cabin of the car was cooled by an air conditioning system, she could feel the oppressive heat of the desert outside by placing her palm against the glass window. 

She hadn’t seen Kiros again since he left her bedroom, hours before.  The female officer named Tierney had come back and helped her pack a few belongings: her photos of Laguna and Squall, journals, a change of clothes and a few beauty products.  Her already packed boxes of garments had been left behind; she didn’t want anything to do with them, they had been purchased by Ash and Odine.   The young woman had waited as Raine changed her clothes, picking out a medium length khaki skirt topped with a light purple short sleeved blouse.  She applied a thin sheen of shimmering lip gloss, a dusting of blush and some mascara.  She wanted to be beautiful for Laguna.

Officer Tierney had escorted her to the back entrance, away from the front foyer and hallway that was still marred with blood and crime scene tape.  They pair waited in the early morning desert heat for Raine’s ride, making small talk.  Raine had asked the young woman about Esthar.

_“You’ll love it there.   It’s huge and beautiful, and there’s more shopping than you could ever hope for.”_

Raine was apprehensive.  Ash had led her to believe for so many years that Esthar was rampant with disease and uprisings.  She wanted to believe that those were lies, and she breathed a sigh of relief when Officer Tierney quelled her fears.

_“There hasn’t been an uprising since Adel.  President Loire is the best thing that has ever happened to the city.  Everyone is happy, prosperous, and safe.  He truly is an agent of peace.”_

Raine had smiled at the mention of Laguna and his successes as President.  She still had a hard time believing sometimes that he truly was the leader of the largest and most technologically advanced city on the planet.  Then again, he did have a knack for getting into situations by accident.  The fact that he had stayed President for over twenty years made Raine so proud of him.  She couldn’t wait to see him.

As Raine had entered the car, Officer Tierney bid her farewell.  _“Good luck to you, Ma’am.  Enjoy your new life.  Remember; don’t exit the car until someone opens the door for you.”_   The young woman tipped her helmet, smiled, and closed the door. 

Now Raine was speeding across the desert, the skyline of Esthar beginning to become visible on the horizon.  She couldn’t help but wring her hands anxiously, knowing that she would soon be reunited with Laguna and Squall.  She wondered how she would be received.  If Laguna had remarried, what would her place be in his life?  Would Squall accept her as his mother?  Would Elle even remember her?

As the outlying villages of the Esthar suburbs outside of the city shield started to fly by her, the butterflies in her stomach began to flit around exuberantly.  She shifted in her seat, trying to make herself more comfortable.  “These aren’t the most comfy cars in the world, are they?”

“Excuse me, Ma’am?”  The driver looked back in her direction.

Embarrassed, Raine’s cheeks flushed.  She hadn’t meant to say that out loud.  “Oh, nothing.  I was just thinking out loud.”

The driver set his eyes back on the road and pointed out the front window.  “There it is, Ma’am.  Esthar.”

Raine moved to her left in the back seat so she could see out the front window.  There, in front of them, was Laguna’s city.  She put her hand to her mouth in shock, marveling at just how huge the place truly was.  The buildings glistened in the morning sunlight, sparkling like giant crystal pillars jutting up into the blue sky. 

“We’ll be entering the city in a moment.  Just have to pass through the security checkpoint.”

Raine moved to look out of her own window, craning her neck to get a better look at the buildings that now seemed right on top of her.  The car slowed and came to the checkpoint.  The driver never stopped, only flashed a badge at the guard and continued into the city.

They passed under a giant arch and up a ramp and Raine was instantly captivated by the gleaming structures.  Tears came to her eyes and the first thing she saw was a giant banner with Laguna’s smiling face.  He hadn’t changed a bit, except for a few wrinkles around his eyes.  He looked so happy, so vibrant. 

The car merged onto a main artery from the entrance ramp and joined the steady flow of morning traffic.  Even at six-thirty in the morning, Esthar was bustling.  Raine felt the vehicle bank to the right as the driver steered onto what appeared to be an outer road, encircling the city.  Raine was amazed at the massiveness of the sprawling metropolis.  Buildings sprouted up from every piece of available land, reaching towards the sky as if they were making an offering to the heavens.  Most of them were glowing with a blue-green light, but there were bright colors dotted in and amongst the constructions, speckling the cityscape with occasional pinks, yellows and purples. 

“See that big palace over there?”  The driver snapped Raine out of her thoughts with his booming voice. He was motioning out the passenger side window.  “That’s where you’re going, Ma’am.  The Presidential Palace and Offices.”  He looked back for just a moment, a small smile gracing his lips.

The vehicle slowed to take a turn towards the grand structure, making it appear through the windshield.  It took up the whole window, and then some.  Raine realized she had been holding her breath with anticipation and let out a long exhale.  She knew she was so close to regaining her life.

The driver slowly took them around back of the palace, Raine gazing at the beautiful fountains and trees on the grounds.  She looked up through the tinted glass, trying to count the floors of the massive building.  She wondered where Laguna was inside. 

The car slowed to a stop at the back of the building, at what appeared to be loading docks.  There was no one waiting for them, the area seemed deserted.  Raine sat, smoothing out a crease in her skirt, looking for any signs of movement out of her window.  A moment passed before a door opened, and a hulking man wearing white robes emerged.  The driver pointed at him through the window.  “That’s Ambassador Zabac.  He’s a close friend of the President’s.  He can’t talk, though, so don’t expect any response from him.  Despite his appearance, he’s the gentlest soul on the planet.”

The door opened and a giant hand extended in, beckoning for Raine to exit.  She placed her tiny hand in his and got out of the car, ducking her head to avoid hitting it on the frame.  She stood up to lock eyes with the man.  He towered above her, at what she guessed to be over seven feet.  She noticed he had a large scar extending down the entire left side of his face, making him look a little intimidating.  Any apprehension she may have felt towards this gargantuan man melted away when he flashed the sweetest smile she had ever seen.  He motioned to the door he had come from and began walking.  She followed behind, the driver bringing up the rear carrying the small bag of personal effects Raine had brought with her.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

High above on the balcony of the private Presidential Residence, Laguna Loire sipped his coffee, taking in the beautiful sunrise before him.  He loved Esthar in the morning, the way the dawn light reflected off the mirror-like facades of the thousands of buildings.  He was so proud of this place, and respected the way it had come back to life after the atrocities of two Sorceress Wars.  His people were resilient, willing to do anything to breathe life back into their home. 

His attention was drawn by a vehicle slowly driving along the side service road, towards the back loading docks.  He watched as it snaked its way around the curves that followed the outer borders of the gardens.  He took another drink of his slowly-cooling beverage, eyes still trained on the car.  He had loved watching vehicles from high above since he was a child, when he would often accompany his father to Dollett.  His father’s work often took him into the tallest buildings in the dukedom, and a young Laguna would sit patiently while his dad conducted business, watching the tiny cars below him go on to wherever their destinations might have been.  Though fifty-some years had passed, he still enjoyed this childhood ritual, and made it part of his morning routine whenever he could fit it in.

Draining the last of his coffee, he realized he would be late for his morning workout with Squall if he dawdled much longer.  He watched as the car rounded the side of building, disappearing from his line of sight.  Turning on his heels, he returned his empty mug to the kitchen and headed out the door, grabbing his gym bag as he went.

 

 


	32. Phoenix Chapter Thirty-one

Phoenix:  Chapter Thirty-one

                “Come on, Laguna.  Is that all you’ve got?”

Squall Leonhart beckoned to his father with an extended finger.  The two men were sparring, one of the many activities included in their morning workouts.  He taunted the older man by faking a quick punch in his direction.

“Give me a second, will ya kid?  I’m not as young as you!”  Laguna bent at the waist, chest heaving, resting his gloved hands on his thighs.  He wiped the perspiration from his brow.  “How is it possible that you haven’t even broken a sweat?”

“Because I’m in better shape than you, plain and simple.  Plus, you eat too much pizza.”  The young man moved in closer, catching the president off-guard with a right hook.

Laguna had only a split-second to react, bringing his hands to either side of his face to block the blow.  He immediately tried to retaliate by kicking his younger opponent in the side, only to have his leg grabbed and twisted, sending him to the mat. 

Squall smirked as he let go of Laguna’s leg, letting it thud to the floor.  “You’re not even trying, Laguna.  As least make a solid attempt to take me down once and a while!”  He backed up and looked down at the panting president.

 Laguna’s hair, which had been pulled back into a ponytail, was beginning to come loose, wet strands sticking to the side of his face.  He pushed himself into a seated position, holding his hands up at face-level.  “I surrender, kid.  You’re just too good.  You’re gonna end up killin’ me.”

“Whatever.  I can’t believe you gave up so easily.”  Squall removed his fighting gloves as he went to the benches and grabbed two bottles of water and a couple of towels. He returned to the mat and sat next to Laguna.   He wiped the sweat from his chest and head, then hung the towel around his neck.  “Seriously, Laguna.  You have to fight longer than that.  How are you supposed to get a good workout from fifteen minutes of combat?”

Laguna gulped the icy water down.  “I’m not as young as I used to be.  You also have to remember that I haven’t had years of conditioning and extreme workout regimens.  Face it, Squall.  You’re just in better shape than I am.”

Squall snorted.  “You got that right.”

Laguna playfully slapped his son’s bare arm and the young man winced.  “Watch it, Laguna!  That’s only a week old!”  He gently rubbed his new tattoo, which displayed the insignia of SeeD. 

“I still don’t know what the draw is to tattoos.  Why would you want to permanently mark your body with _needles_?  And besides, don’t you have enough?  That’s number three, right?”  Laguna leaned backwards to inspect Squall’s bare back, adorned with a tribal pattern across his shoulders.  He couldn’t see his son’s other arm, but he knew Griever was worn there with pride. 

“Whatever.  You’re just too chicken to get one.”  Squall got up and motioned with his head for Laguna to follow.  “Are you coming?  If you’re not going to fight me, at least get on a treadmill or something.  You’re starting to get a paunch, old man.”

Laguna looked down at his belly, which admittedly wasn’t as toned as it used to be.  “Hey, I’m fifty-one years old, gimme a break!”  He got up off of the mat and followed Squall into the main gym.

The two watched the morning newscast on a flat-screen television mounted to the wall as they exercised.  Laguna found a comfortable speed on the treadmill while Squall finally worked up a respectable sweat on a stationary bike.  The president marveled at the punishment his son’s body could take, noting that the resistance on Squall’s bike was at the maximum. 

Laguna, who did not take kindly to silence, felt the uncontrollable urge to make small talk.  “So…what’s on your agenda for the day?”  He saw Squall roll his eyes from his peripheral vision.  He knew his son hated conversation for conversation’s sake, but he was glad to get him to talk at all sometimes.

Squall took a swig from his water bottle, sighed, and reluctantly answered.  “Nothing much, it’s actually a pretty slow day.  Just some late SeeD applications and a few progress reports to Cid.  I was hoping to duck out early.”

A wry grin spread across Laguna’s face.  “Leaving early, eh?  Would that have anything to do with that History instructor Elle mentioned?”  He chuckled when Squall’s face suddenly turned crimson.

“What?  No…well, maybe.  Look, I don’t want to discuss this with you.”  Squall emptied his water bottle and threw it at Laguna, barely missing the man’s head. 

The workout facility erupted with the sound of Laguna’s hysterical laughter as the president tried to catch his breath.  “Temper, temper!  Y’know, you aren’t going to score any points with the ladies by throwing things—unless they’re into that sort of thing.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Kiros heard the sound of Laguna’s maniacal laughter coming from his private gym. Either he wasn’t alone, or he was watching cartoons again.  Kiros opened the door to find both Laguna and Squall in the midst of training.  The president was jogging along on a treadmill, while a red-faced Squall seemed to be feverishly trying to ride away from his father, even though the bike was stationery. 

_I bet Laguna embarrassed him again._

Kiros took a deep breath, readying himself for the upcoming conversation.  Clearing his throat, he made his way towards the two men.

“Hey, Kiros!  Care to join us?”   Laguna beckoned him over with a wave, while Squall nodded his acknowledgement. 

“Good morning, gentlemen.  No, I don’t want to join you, but I do need to talk about something.”

Squall stopped pedaling and got off of the bike.  “I’ll leave you two to your business.  See you later, Laguna, Kiros.”  He pulled his shirt over his head and grabbed his gym bag.  He started towards the door, only to be stopped by Kiros.

“Actually, this concerns you both.”  He had a pensive look on his face.  Father and son exchanged speculative glances.

The trio moved to a small table where they sat, Kiros setting a stack of files down.  Laguna used his towel to rub his sweat-dampened hair dry.  “So, what’s up?  You couldn’t tell me whatever this is after I’ve had a shower?”

Kiros clasped his hands together, tapping this thumbs against one another.  He looked to Laguna, then Squall, then to the files on the tabletop.  He exhaled.  “Do either of you know of a Doctor William Ash?”

The two men looked at one another, Squall shrugging his shoulders.  Laguna quirked an eyebrow.  “No, should we?”

Kiros kept moving his thumbs, and clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth.  “I guess not.  Well, he was murdered early this morning at his lab—the old Odine Genetics Complex.”

“So?  Call the police.  What does this have to do with me, Kiros?”  Laguna looked confused.  

“The police are already on the scene.  They called me out there.”  He looked to Squall, who had a suspicious look on his face.   “It appears that Doctor Ash and Doctor Odine had secret project.”

Squall crossed his arms over his chest.  “What kind of secret project?  I thought when Odine died all of his clandestine projects were outed.”

Kiros pursed his lips.  “Apparently this one was so secret it didn’t exist in Odine’s files.  Strictly off the books.”  He opened up the top file folder.  “Odine had a project named ‘Perfect Phoenix.’  It was rooted in resurrection.  He experimented on corpses unsuccessfully until he got it right.  He was trying to bring back the dead in hopes that they would retain their memories.”  Kiros hesitated, trying to find words.

“Apparently, when the only successful trial wasn’t progressing as fast as Odine wanted it to, he handed it off to this Ash guy and ended up sending them to the desert after a— _complication_.”

“Complication?”  Laguna leaned forward in his seat. 

Kiros flipped through the file, stopping in the middle.  He placed his palm on the page and closed the folder, using his hand as a marker.  “The project was started twenty-three years ago.”  He looked at Squall while speaking. 

The young man cocked his head.  “Why’d you look at me when you said that?”

Kiros inhaled deeply, letting out the breath slowly.  “Laguna, I…”

“What’s eating you, Kiros?  C’mon, you know you can tell me anything.  It can’t be _that_ bad!”  Laguna cracked a sincere smile. 

Kiros opened the file back up.  “Raine is alive, Laguna.”  He pushed the folder across the table.

All the color drained from Laguna’s face.  His mouth hung open in shock for a moment, then his lips clenched together angrily.  “What the hell man?  If you think you’re joke’s funny, it’s not.” 

Kiros started to speak only to have Laguna interrupt.  “I paid for her headstone, Kiros.  Why in the world would you say such a thing?  She’s been dead for over twenty years.”  Laguna’s expression was one of hurt and confusion.

Squall sat silently, sternly looking at Kiros.  He showed no reaction whatsoever, not even flinching at the information. 

Kiros tapped the folder.  “Take a look, Laguna.  The secret project?  Raine was the successful trial.  I’m so sorry, man.” 

Laguna took the file with shaking hands.  He read for a long moment.  “I don’t understand, Kiros.  The villagers told me she was dead.”

Kiros scooted his chair closer to Laguna.  “She _was_ dead.  A man in Winhill gave up her body.  Odine brought her back with chemicals and electricity.”

Squall, who had been silent up until then, finally spoke up.  “How do we know it’s her?  It could be a genetically-engineered double.  You did say they came from the Genetics Lab, right?”  Kiros could tell he was fighting to keep his emotions from bubbling to the surface.  He could see the young commander’s jaw muscles clenching. 

“It’s her, Squall.  All the data regarding her health, death and body procurement are in the files.  It was the day after you were born.  Odine and Ash had no idea she was connected to your father in the beginning.  When they did realize it, they lied to Raine—telling her Laguna had been assassinated so she would never try and contact him.  Then they panicked and Odine sent the two of them into the desert—to get the ‘incriminating evidence’ as far away from himself as possible.  He essentially banished them to the desert in the hopes that no one would ever know.” 

Tears in his eyes, Laguna looked up.  “Prove it, Kiros.  Prove to me that she’s really alive.”  He got up from the table.  “I want to see her.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Laguna had walked down to the Presidential Police offices countless times in the past.  Never had it taken so long in his life.  The three men walked silently and with determination.  Laguna hadn’t felt this apprehensive in a long time. 

His best friend had just told him his dead wife was in fact alive.  He didn’t know how to react.  His first instinct had been to become angry at Kiros for making such a cruel and sick joke.  It quickly registered, however, that the man didn’t have a sinister bone in his body, and would never do anything so unkind.  Once his mind had quieted somewhat, as they were walking to the station, his thoughts focused on the woman he was going to see.  He wanted to believe that she was actually here in the palace, alive and well.  But the fact that she had been dead to him not more than ten minutes prior weighed heavily upon him.  He still loved Raine with all his heart and soul, never wanting another woman since they parted.  If she were to not show such strong feelings for him after all these years, he would be crushed.  And what about Squall?  The kid was just getting used to the idea of having a father, and now he was confronted with the prospect that his dead mother was back in his life. 

They arrived at the police station and were greeted by the captain of the presidential guard.  “Good morning, Mister President.  Quite a surprise, huh?”  The man tried to crack a small smile to lighten the heavy mood. 

Laguna didn’t want any part of it.  “Where is she?  I want to see her.”

The captain accompanied them down the hall and rounded the corner where Ward was waiting.  He waved quickly, motioning for them to come his way.  Laguna came to stand next to the large man, who put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“…”

“Ward says she’s in the next room, and that if we go in here we can see her through two-way glass.”

The giant man opened the door and Laguna hurried inside, anxious to glimpse the woman Kiros said was his wife.  Ward gestured to a large window, looking into an adjacent room.  Laguna approached the glass, his breath hitching in his throat. 

There, sitting at a table sipping a cup of coffee was Raine. 

“Oh Hyne, it looks just like her.”

Kiros came to stand behind his friend, Squall taking his place next to his father.  “That’s because it _is_ her, man.”

“I want to talk to her.”

Ward nudged Kiros in the side.  “…”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Laguna.  Ward agrees.  You are pretty emotional right now, and we think you need to calm yourself before you jump into anything.”

“I’m just fine, guys.  I have a foolproof way of telling whether or not it’s truly her.  It’s something only the two of us and a doctor in Winhill know about.” 

He then placed his palm on the glass, steadying himself.  A single tear dropped from his eye.  “Squall?  What do you think?”  He turned to face his son.  The young man had no expression on his face, no emotions showing through of any kind.  Laguna desperately wanted some sort of reaction from the stoic Commander.  “Squall?  Did you hear me?”

Without turning to acknowledge Laguna, Squall sighed.  “I don’t know what to think.  I still think it could be dangerous, though.  She may have been genetically altered to resemble Raine in every aspect.  It may be a plot by a resistance group, or the Galbadians, to get close to you.  I don’t want to take any chances with your safety.” 

Laguna stiffened and turned to Squall.  “Take any chances with my safety?  What’s that supposed to mean?  Look at her, I don’t think she’s part of a resistance group.” 

Squall squared his shoulders and bit back at Laguna.  “We don’t know anything about her or what that Doctor Ash did to her for all those years.  For all we know, he could have been training her as an assassin.”

“I don’t believe the crap that is coming out of your mouth!”  Laguna flushed with growing anger. 

“I don’t believe how careless you are being!  We don’t know anything about this ‘project.’”  Both men had raised voices.

Laguna clenched his fists, willing himself not to physically lash out at his own flesh and blood.  “That’s your _mother_ in there, Squall!  My wife!   This is a second chance!”

Squall’s upper lip snarled.  “You’re delusional.  I don’t want any part of this.”  The young man turned on his heels and raged towards the door, slamming it behind him as he left.

Laguna made a motion to stop him, but was thwarted by Kiros grabbing his shoulder.  “Let him go, Laguna.  He’s dealing with this in his own way.  You have to respect his feelings.”

Laguna’s shoulders slumped as he watched his son storm from view, his heart sinking.  It hurt to see his son rejecting his own mother.  He felt bad for Raine, and he hadn’t even talked to her yet.  Laguna didn’t want Raine to feel any more awkward than he thought she already would.  And yes, he felt bad for Squall.  And his heart broke for his only son, knowing the emotional torrent that must have been thrashing through his mind.  The young man lived his whole life without a proper mother, only Edea, who also had five other children to deal with on a daily basis.  It’s not like he had a lot of one-on-one time with her.  He knew Squall had a difficult time dealing with overly emotional situations, and this one took the cake.  Deep down, Laguna understood Squall’s skepticism and wariness, but it still angered him that he acted the way he did.

He sighed, turning towards his two friends.  “I want to talk to her, guys.  I _need_ to talk to her.  I’m alright, really.”

Kiros and Ward exchanged concerned glances.  Laguna brushed his hair down with his hands and made sure he wasn’t a rumpled mess.  He frowned when he realized he was still clad in his workout tank top and shorts, not to mention a sweaty mess.  “Damn, I look like something that fell off the work boats in Fisherman’s Horizon.” 

“…”

“Ward says you don’t smell so great either.”

Laguna raised his arms and sniffed, his nose wrinkling.  “Aww, Geez.  Well, she loved me when I was bed-ridden and bloody, hopefully she’ll still love me stinky.” 

 Ward shrugged his shoulders and unlocked the door to the small room next to their own.  Laguna took a deep breath and walked through the door.

 

 


	33. Phoenix Chapter Thirty-two

Phoenix:  Chapter Thirty-two

                Raine sat sipping coffee, willing the door to open.  She had been in that holding room for what seemed like hours.  Her thoughts bounced back and forth between Laguna and Squall.  She wondered if they were both in the building.  She was giddy.  The next person she saw could very well be Laguna.  Kiros had told her that he would work on getting her reunited with him, and she hoped that he would make good on his word. 

As she sat with her thoughts, she pulled the photo of Squall out of the front pocket of her blouse.   She was so happy that he looked like Laguna, and wondered if he took after him as much in person as he did in the photo.  She speculated as to how tall he was.  It was impossible to decide from the photo alone. 

She hugged her arms around her body.  The small room was cold and sterile, not unlike her first days at Odine Labs.  She tapped her fingers on the table.  She felt like someone was watching her.  Raine looked towards the giant mirror on the far wall—no doubt two-way.  She wondered who was watching her from the other side.  Imagining that it was Laguna and Squall, she smiled slightly and drank the last of her coffee.

Just as she finished and set the mug down, she heard the door lock disengage and it swung open.  Her eyes fell upon the most wonderful sight she had ever seen.

Laguna.

He silently stood in the doorway, clad in black track shorts and a white tank top.  He looked as if he had just come from a workout.  He nervously scratched the back of his neck, like she seen him do a thousand times.

Her breath hitched in her chest, and she closed her eyes.  She hoped that when she opened them he would still be there.  It almost felt as if she was in a dream, and she would wake up at any time, back at the lab.   When she did open her eyes, his locked with her own and she smiled warmly.  She didn’t dare  speak, not yet.  Raine just stared at him, and he at her.  Her eyes caught the glint of a silver ring on his left hand, and she instantly recognized it as the one he had showed her when he proposed. The sight of it made her heart twist with joy. He had never remarried.

Raine stood and began to slowly move towards him, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“Laguna.”

 He held his hands up and pushed them forward.  “W-wait a minute.  Show me your thigh…your left thigh.”  He was commanding tone was laced with apprehension.

Raine cocked her head and quirked a small smile.  She knew exactly what was going on.  He was trying to see if it was really her.  She raised the hem of her skirt, exposing her bare skin.  “It’s right there, Laguna.  The scar you gave me trying to become a knife-thrower.  How’d that work out for you?” 

Raine saw the apprehension in Laguna’s face melt away, replaced by a pained look.  He grabbed his leg and yelped in discomfort, massaging his thigh.  “It’s really you, isn’t it?”

Raine let her skirt fall and started to move towards the man once again.  She stopped just inches from him, feeling the heat of his body radiating through the chilly room.  Surprising Raine, he grabbed her and embraced her tightly, nuzzling his face in her hair.  His voice began to crack.  “I thought you were dead.  I can’t believe you’ve come back to me.”

She wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly, like she had dreamed about countless times.  Her tears began to flow, and ran down Laguna’s bare arm.  “You and me both, Loire.  Those bastards told me you had been assassinated.” 

She felt his body relax and lean into her embrace.  “If this is a dream, I hope I never wake up.”

“It’s not a dream, Laguna.  I’m really here, and I’m never leaving you again.  I love you.”

“Raine, you don’t know how much I hoped to hear those words just one more time.  I never stopped loving you.  Ever.”  He bent down and pressed his lips against hers, gently at first, but then deepening the kiss.  When Laguna finally came up for air and held her out in front of him to get a better look.

 “Hyne, Raine.  You’re just as beautiful as the last time I saw you.  It’s like you’re an angel or something.”  He ran his hand through her hair, brushing it back from her face.  “It’s uncanny how much Squall looks like you, Raine.  Seeing you again just drives it home.”

Raine closed her eyes at the mention of her son’s name.  “Squall?  Where is he?”

Laguna’s smile waned.  “He’s around.  He, uhh…he’s not handling this too great.”  He scratched the back of his neck again, raising an eyebrow.  “He’ll come around.”  He held her close and took in her scent, reveling in the sweet floral aroma.

“And what about Elle?  Is she safe?  I remember all those people always being after her.” 

“Ellone is just fine.  She’s in Dollett right now spending all my money.”  Laguna chuckled into Raine’s neck.  “I’m sure Kiros will contact her and she’ll be on the next transport home.  You’re going to freak when you see her Raine, she’s a grown woman, and she’s just beautiful.    She’s…she’s getting married next year.”

 The pair stood for a moment, swaying slightly in each other’s arms.  Raine let her tears flow freely, sobbing away twenty years of heartbreak and sorrow.  All the ill feelings towards Ash and Odine, all the sadness she felt when she thought Laguna was dead—it all streamed out of her eyes and dripped to the floor.  Gone forever.  She moved her hands up Laguna’s back to his shoulders, where she splayed her fingers across them.  Raine could feel the tension begin to melt away.  She never wanted the moment to end, but knew that they couldn’t stay in this small room forever.  She pushed back and cupped her hands around Laguna’s face, a grand smile gracing her lips. “You’ve got some gray hair, Laguna!”

He chuckled lightly and wrapped his hands around hers, holding them against his cheeks.  “So do you, Raine.”

She pouted for a moment, before slapping him playfully on the chest.  “You’re not supposed to say things like that to women, Laguna!”

He smiled sheepishly.  “Hey, go easy on me!  I haven’t had a lot of practice dealing with women in a long time!”  His smile drooped slightly as he lowered his hands, taking Raine’s down with them.  “They didn’t hurt you, did they?  Odine and Ash?”

Raine lowered her gaze to Laguna’s chest, laying her ear against it.  She could hear his heart pounding.  “No, not physically.  Ash actually took very good care of me, I never wanted for anything.  But…”

Laguna’s arms tightened around her, as if he were trying to protect her.  “But?”

Raine sighed.  “Looking back on it, they were emotionally abusing me from the beginning, even though I didn’t know it.  They kept everything from me, Laguna.  They knew where I was from, that I had a child.  Ash claimed they didn’t know I was your wife when the project started, but I don’t know if I believe him.  They lied to me about your death so they wouldn’t get in trouble.”

A tear rolled down Laguna’s cheek.  “Raine, I’m so sorry I didn’t know what they were up to.  Odine had a lot of secret projects that were revealed after his death, but nothing was ever mentioned about Phoenix.  Now I know why.  Those guys are lucky they’re both dead.”  Raine felt Laguna stiffen.  “They would have gone to prison for the rest of their lives.  And not in Esthar’s prisons, either.  I’m talkin’ D-District.”  He sighed, cradling her head close to his body.  “I should have been able to protect you.”

Raine craned her head up to meet his eyes.  “Laguna, you didn’t know.”  She caressed his cheek with the back of her hand.  “It’s in the past now, and all that matters is that we’re together and we can start over.  If…if that’s what you want.”

Laguna’s eyes glistened with tears.  “I’ve dreamt every night about being given a second chance with you.  Now that you’re really here, I’m never letting you go ever again.  You’re my wife, Raine.  Forever.”  He held up his ring, just as he had that night in Winhill. 

Raine began to laugh and cry at the same time.  “Laguna Loire, I love you.”

“And I love you, Raine.  C’mon, let’s get you out of here and into your new home.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Kiros found Squall leaning against a balustrade of the balcony close to the police headquarters.  He had his hands spread out on the granite top, leaning the weight of his body on them.    His head was cocked to one side as he stared out at Esthar. 

Kiros said nothing as he moved beside the young man.  The two remained in silence for a long moment before Squall finally spoke up.  “If you came out here to lecture me, I don’t want to hear it.”  He never looked at Kiros, instead kept his gaze focused on the city in front of him. 

“No lectures, I promise.”  He turned to face Squall, and nudged his arm to get his attention focused away from the city.  “I want you to know that a part of me shares your skepticism.  Not about her identity, but about ulterior motives.” 

Kiros exhaled, gathering his thoughts.  “I’ve come to learn after twenty-plus years of dealing with Odine, that you never know what to expect.  Obviously, I was right on the button.”  He tapped his fingers on the balcony.  “Even though the files taken from the scene show that after your father’s “death” Odine severed ties with Ash, I’m not inclined to believe that’s entirely true.  Odine never let anything go that easily.”

Squall turned his eyes back to the horizon.  “So what are you suggesting?”

Kiros chuckled slightly.  “I haven’t the slightest idea.  I am just as confused as everyone else right now.  But I will tell you this; I don’t think that this just happened out of the blue as coincidence.  I’m going to be doing a lot digging and research now, and I’ll make sure I let you know if I find anything.”

“Dig deep, Kiros.  Find…something.  I don’t like feeling so suspicious.”

“Think about your actions, alright?  You grew up without her, and now you really do have a second chance at a relationship. Don’t be so afraid to let your feelings show.  I told your father to give you some time, but you’ll eventually have to see her.  You can’t sulk around here avoiding them.”

Squall scowled and sighed.  “I know you’re right, okay?  It’s just…”  He ran a hand through his hair.  “Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to meet my parents.  I never told anyone that, but they dream was there.  I think every orphan thinks like that.  I knew I couldn’t though, because I had been told that they were more than likely dead.”  He hesitated for a moment, picking at a chipping piece of stone from the balcony.

“Then Laguna shows up and after a lot of work, I was finally content in my life.  The lingering sentiment of wanting to meet my mother was still there, but I _knew_ that was never possible because she was dead.  Up until this morning, that was the case.”

Squall blew out a breath from puffed cheeks.  “And now here she is, alive.  I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

Kiros could tell that the morning’s events were finally beginning to take their toll on the young man.  He could sense that his emotional walls were starting to crumble.  Kiros felt honored, however, that Squall trusted him enough to confide in him. 

“Kiros?”

The older man turned to look at his young counterpart.  He had a concerned look about him.

“Take care of Laguna.  Watch him.  We all know how he gets.  I just don’t want him to get hurt.”

Kiros was slightly taken aback by the young man’s sudden compassion for his father.  True, Kiros knew deep down that Squall cared about and loved his father, even if he never expressed it with words.  It was small gestures like this that cemented it for Kiros, and he was glad. 

“Don’t worry, Squall.  Ward and I will make sure he doesn’t get in over his head.” 

 


	34. Phoenix Chapter Thirty-three

Phoenix:  Chapter Thirty-three

                Laguna loved the way Raine’s hand felt in his own, so soft and warm.  He never imagined that he would experience it ever again. He felt like he could hold onto her forever. He squeezed tightly, and smiled when she returned the pressure. 

He never intended to let go again.

When they entered the adjacent room, they were greeted by Ward and an officer from the presidential police.  Laguna frowned slightly when he saw that Squall was nowhere to be seen.  He had hoped his son would have a change of heart.

“Raine, I don’t know if you got a real introduction to this big oaf here.  He and I have quite the history, but don’t believe everything he says about me.”  Laguna punched Ward in the arm, and the giant returned the favor, knocking him back slightly.  Laguna rubbed his upper arm.  “Hey, watch it!” 

Raine giggled.  “Ward was the one who escorted me here.  He’s a gem.”  She patted the large man on the back with a smile.  Ward turned to the man next to him and extended his arm towards the officer.

“…”

“Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Loire.  My name is Lieutenant Reese with the Palace police.”  The man extended his hand for Raine to shake.  “I just brought some paperwork for both you and the President to sign, and then you’ll be free to leave.”

As the man handed Laguna the papers, he couldn’t help but feel a wave of pride sweep over him hearing the Lieutenant call Raine “Mrs. Loire.”  He never thought he would hear that phrase again.  Laguna quickly skimmed the paperwork and signed his name with a pen the Lieutenant had given him.  “Just the release forms?”

The officer nodded and motioned for Raine to follow Laguna’s actions.  She did, signing her name as “Raine Loire” for the first time in over twenty years. 

Reese examined the documents, making sure nothing had been left unsigned.  When he seemed satisfied, he folded and tucked them neatly into his uniform pocket.  “Everything is in order, Mister President.  The detectives assigned to the murder case may want to question your wife again at some point, but more than likely that won’t happen.  Ambassador Seagill has given them strict orders to come to him first with any requests of that nature.  And don’t worry about press leaks.  This precinct is loyal to you, and no one will say anything until you are ready to release the information. ”

Laguna was relieved to hear that his dear friend had gone to lengths to protect Raine.  He knew he had a great police force that would do a fantastic investigation, but they were nothing if not extremely thorough.  Raine had been through enough already, and he was happy that the police wouldn’t be poking around while she tried to acclimate to a new life.  He was grateful that Kiros would be taking charge if the police needed any more information from Raine.

The lieutenant saluted Laguna, and then tipped his hat to Raine.  “Have a good morning, Mister President, Mrs. Loire.  Be sure to contact us if you need anything.”  He turned on his heels and exited the room, his heels clicking on the tile floor.

“…”

Laguna smiled.  “Yeah, you’re right, Ward.  I think it’s about time we sprung this lovely lady from this police station and took her home.”  Laguna put his hand on his hip, forming a loop with his arm.  “Shall we?”

Raine linked her arm through Laguna’s and the three left the police station for the upper floors of the palace. 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Squall Leonhart stormed into his apartment in the Presidential Palace.  Tossing his keycard and phone down on the breakfast bar, he threw open the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of beer.  He didn’t care that it was only eight in the morning.  He needed something to calm his emotions.  He popped the cap off and made his way to the balcony.  He opened the doors, and was immediately awash in a warm breeze.  It blew through his hair as he sat on a deck chair, drowning his anger in the malty beverage. 

Now that he was alone, he could brood in peace.  His morning had started off so well.  For the first time in what seemed like ages, he woke feeling well-rested.  He didn’t start the day with a headache.  He even enjoyed his workout with Laguna.  Then Kiros had come in, and in an instant, his entire world was turned upside-down. 

And then his headache came back. 

He mulled over the morning’s events.  Two hours ago, his mother was dead.  He had seen her headstone up on the Winhill bluffs.  He never thought about seeing her ever again, taking to her.  Death was final. 

Then his world was turned on end, Kiros saying the fateful words that changed everything. 

_“Raine is alive, Laguna.”_

Squall took a long draught of his beer, swirling it around in his mouth.  He heard Kiros’ words over and over.  Raine was alive.  He had seen her, or what looked like her, with his own eyes.  He just didn’t know what to think anymore.  He hated feeling so out of control, so helpless.  The proverbial rug had just been pulled out from underneath him, and it seemed like no one around him accepted his opinion on the matter.  Squall knew that Kiros shared in some of his skepticism, but would also try and get him to see Laguna’s point of view. 

He snorted at the thought of seeing the situation from Laguna’s perspective, and finished off his beer.  He knew exactly what Laguna’s thoughts were, and what he would do.  He would jump in head first, throwing caution to the wind.  Squall could see the impending battles with his father a mile away.  He knew Laguna had a good head on his shoulders, even though his goofiness sometimes got the better of him.  Squall had seen his father in political action many times, standing up for what he believed in.

 But what he couldn’t shake was how his father acted when it came to love.  He had seen it with his own eyes, through Laguna’s.  He saw how his heart sometimes got the better of him.  The way his leg cramped when he was nervous, the way he bumbled his words when he was trying not to sound like a ninny. 

Squall had seen, and knew first hand just how much Raine meant to Laguna.  The fact that he had never remarried, and refused to remove his wedding band was proof of that.  He just hoped that Laguna’s emotions wouldn’t overtake him and cloud his judgment. 

Something still didn’t feel right about the whole situation, and Laguna’s reaction made it even worse for Squall.  He couldn’t believe that the president of such a great nation would dive into a situation he knew virtually nothing about on a whim, a hope that what he saw in front of him was reality.  But, Squall also knew that love was a powerful mistress, and controlled even the most steel-willed people with ease.  He remembered as he jumped out into space after Rinoa, not caring about himself—just her.  In that moment, everyone else ceased to exist in his world, and he knew that’s just how Laguna felt.  And he couldn’t blame him. The man was just given news that everyone that had lost a loved one yearned to hear. 

 After all his military training, all the countless hours studying espionage and tactics for taking down government leaders, his brain was full of “what-if” scenarios that could turn out to be all too real on a daily basis.  Deep down he did love his father, and didn’t want to see him hurt, physically or emotionally.  He just wished everyone wouldn’t be so quick to accept her into their lives.  Sure, the files said it was her, and Laguna claimed he had a foolproof way of knowing, but that wasn’t enough for Squall.  Truth be told, he didn’t know if anything would ever be sufficient, even when the truth was revealed. 

His brain screamed at him to slow his thoughts as it tried desperately to make sense of the jumble of emotions swirling within.  During this entire hubbub, he had been stomping one feeling deep into himself, willing it to stay out of his mind.  He tried in vain to make it go away, but it kept creeping back, taunting him.

His mother was alive.  As much as he didn’t want to admit to anyone, especially himself, he was the tiniest bit happy.  He tried so hard to quell that feeling, not wanting to be hurt again when and if the situation turned out to be not what it seemed.  He had longed since he was a child to have a proper mother.  Edea did the best she could, but she had all the others to deal with, and Squall had been pretty self-sufficient as a child.  He learned from an early age not to depend on anyone but himself, and he certainly wasn’t ready to let a stranger be his “mother.” 

Squall grabbed his empty bottle and returned to the kitchen in search of another beer.  He heard his cell phone ringing, and picked it up from the countertop, where it had been carelessly thrown with his keycard.  He rolled his eyes when he saw the caller ID.

**Laguna**

He didn’t answer; he knew what the other man wanted.  Laguna was going to try and convince him to see _her_ face-to-face.  The woman that deep down Squall knew was his mother.  That thought scared him.  He was fearful that he would bond with her, only to have his world turned upside down again.  His gut still told him something was amiss.  He was frightened that he would watch as his father was pulled in, only to have everything implode around him.  He didn’t like feeling this way, and inwardly cursed his own nature. 

The phone pinged, indicating a there was a voicemail.  He contemplated erasing it without listening, but curiosity got the better of him.  He activated the mailbox and turned on the speaker.

_“Hey, um, Squall?  It’s me.  Look…I, uh…I’m sorry I got so upset this morning.  You had every reason react like you did.  I know that we’ve all had the shock of a lifetime today, but…ummm…listen, just please don’t shut her out.  I’d like you to come by later and just talk to her, meet her.  All I ask is ten minutes, okay?”_

Squall deleted the message with a flick of his thumb and a sigh.  He certainly wasn’t ready to see her or talk to her, and he really didn’t feel like dealing with Laguna either.  The only thing he wanted at that very moment was a shower.  A hot one. 

Then he would decide what to do next. 

 


	35. Phoenix Chapter Thirty-four

Phoenix:  Chapter Thirty-four

 

                The elevator dinged and the doors opened into the residential wing of the palace.  Laguna stepped out first, extending his hand to his wife.  She followed, amazed by what she saw.  The whole placed glowed with an eerie, yet calming light.  The hallway floors were crystalline.  Raine hesitated and retreated back into the car when she realized she could see the floors below them.  “Whoa, this is giving me vertigo.”

Laguna smiled and guided her out of the elevator.  “You’ll get used to it.  Just don’t look down, that’s what I had to do at first.  I almost puked the first time I came up here.”  He squeezed her hand in reassurance.  “The hallways are the only areas like that, my apartment—I mean _our_ apartment—has solid flooring.” 

The two walked down the long, curving hallway, Laguna pointing out various sights.  “This door is Kiros; the one next to it is Ward.”  Raine couldn’t help but feel a little overwhelmed by it all.  In the course of two days, her life had been turned on its end.  No longer was she held captive by Ash, the product of some sick experiment, nor was she widowed.  She had gone from desert exile to the presidential palace in less than four hours’ time.  She still expected to wake up at any moment, back at the lab complex. 

She was snapped out of her thoughts by hesitation in Laguna’s walking pace.  He had slowed to a stop just before another door.  “Uhhh, this door is Squall’s.”  He ran a hand through his hair.

 Raine moved forward to stand next to her husband.  She looked up towards him with a hopeful smile on her face.  “Do you think he’s here?”

Laguna forced a weak smile.  “I don’t know, he kinda ran off this morning.  He tends to brood when he gets upset.” 

Raine’s eyes sunk to the floor, and she sighed.  “Could we knock and see?”  She wanted to see her son so bad it hurt.  Her heart was yearning to reassure herself that she was indeed in Esthar with her family.  It was heartbreaking that her child wasn’t there to support her.

Laguna exhaled slowly.  “It’s…it’s better that we don’t.  I know how badly you want to see him and how much I’d like to shake some sense into him for acting this way, but…” 

“…But we have to respect his feelings.  I know, Laguna.  He’s dealing with this in his own way.”  Raine stared longingly at the door.  “I just wish he would at least come introduce himself.  It’s killing me that I can’t have him right here next to me, like you are.”  A single tear rolled down her cheek. 

Laguna wrapped his arms around his wife, holding her tightly.  “I know this sucks.  Let’s get home and you and I can have a long discussion about Squall and his ‘Squall-ness.’” 

Raine looked up to see a smiling Laguna.  “’Squall-ness?’”

Laguna chuckled.  “He’s a very complex young man, and Kiros came up with that term.  It’s a very accurate description of his attitude.” 

The two ended their embrace and continued walking down the hall, hand in hand. 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Squall came out of his bathroom, towel drying his wet hair.  The shower had relaxed him somewhat, and had given him more time to think.  He knew that his reaction to this morning’s news probably wasn’t the best one he could have had, and he realized that his behavior had hurt Laguna.   He was truly sorry for that.  It had taken him a couple of hours to come to see that, but he knew.  But he didn’t feel the need to explain himself, especially not to Laguna.  He would see her if and when it felt right to him.   He couldn’t just jump in like Laguna did.

 He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was amiss.  He wouldn’t let himself be sucked into this whole mess without some research first.  Kiros had said he was going to get to work on it right away, but Squall felt he needed to do some digging of his own.  For his own peace of mind. 

He dressed quickly, finishing by replacing his Griever ring on his finger.  He stopped by the kitchen and grabbed his phone and keycard, along with a banana.  He checked the inbox, and was relieved when there were no more new messages.  It seemed like Laguna had gotten the hint that he didn’t want to talk. 

Banana in hand, he decided that he would take the long way to E-Garden that morning.  Then he wouldn’t have to pass by Laguna’s apartment.  Sliding the door open, he peered around the side to make sure no one was lurking.  He knew his father well enough not to put an ambush past him.  Satisfied that the coast was clear, he walked the opposite way down the hall, away from Laguna’s home, and quickly got in the elevator.

He made it to his office without confrontation from anyone, and was relieved when he was safely inside.  It was the weekend, so most of the administrative offices were vacant, and a large portion of the student body was gone.  Esthar Garden had a large commuter student population, as the curriculum focused more on technology rather than warfare.  There were some resident students, but the dorms were on the other side of the building, so he was relatively isolated.

Grabbing a bottle of water from a small refrigerator in the corner, Squall sat at his desk, which was neat and tidy.  Unlike a certain President’s. He prided himself on organization and cleanliness, never letting papers or clutter take up residence anywhere. 

He peeled the banana and took a bite, then powered his computer on.   He didn’t bother to check the flashing email icon that greeted him.  He wasn’t interested in Garden business at the moment.  Instead, he brought up the central Esthar search engine.  Tapping his fingers anxiously on the keyboard, contemplated where to start.  After a few minutes of indecision, he set down the banana and typed in a name.

**Raine Leonhart**

The engine immediately brought some small news blurbs, from many years back.  All they mentioned was that she was the President’s late wife.  Nothing about Ash or Odine.

**Raine Loire**

Again, the browser hit on snippets about her being the President’s wife, nothing more.  He even saw his own name a few times, something he still wasn’t used to seeing even after all these years with Laguna.  At least most of the publications got his name right.  Nothing irked him more than seeing his name listed as Squall Loire. 

He took a last bite of his fruit and wrapped the peel in a napkin before dropping it in the wastebasket.  He decided to go the obvious next route with his research.

**Doctor William Ash**

To Squall’s surprise, he found nothing.  He cocked his head as he looked at the blank screen.  He checked his spelling and started the search again.  Instantly, the same message appeared.  **_No results found._**

Squall was puzzled.  There was absolutely no record of the man, like he never existed.  He stared at the screen, trying to put the pieces together in his mind.  Squall knew that there had been a man named Ash; he had kept Raine in the desert for over twenty years.  He scratched his head, deciding to try another search method.

**Odine + William Ash**

Again, there were no results found.  Had Odine wiped any trace of the man off the grid?  No doubt in an attempt to cover his own ass, as Kiros had alluded to.  He knew searching anything about the project would also come up with nothing, so he didn’t even bother. 

Squall leaned back in his chair, laced his hands behind his head, closed his eyes and exhaled deeply.  He didn’t know what he expected to find.  He wasn’t surprised that there was no record of anything, and he didn’t even know why he had bothered to look.  Squall surmised that somewhere in his conscience he was grasping at straws, attempting to find any reason not to get close to Raine.  He had hoped that something would jump out at him through his research, giving him that a-ha or “I told you so” moment that he could take back to Laguna.  Deep down, he didn’t want to intentionally hurt the man, but if he were to be able to bring proof that he should be more cautious, then maybe everyone would start listening to him. 

He decided that he would tackle the little bit of Garden work he had in his inbox, hopefully taking his mind off of the situation for a little while.  If he let it go for a few hours, then maybe he could come back and look on it with clearer eyes. 

That, or he would have more suspicions to deal with.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“Holy Hyne, Laguna! This place is huge!”  Raine walked into her new home, mouth agape.  The sight before her was truly incredible.  It was the biggest living space she had ever seen.  Windows covered the entire far wall, giving her a view of the sprawling city. A balcony door was off to the side, where Raine could see patio furniture and a few towering plants. The living room was homey, a large screen television recessed into the side wall, leather furniture arranged in front of it.  She noticed right away that it had a very Galbadian feel to it:  warm colors, muted metal finishes.  It was a far cry from the futuristic ambience of Esthar. 

Laguna came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her body. “Welcome home, Raine.  I hope you like it.”

 “Like it?  This is amazing!”  She turned to face him with a huge grin on her face.  “This is more spectacular than I could have ever imagined.”

Laguna took her by the hand.  “Want the Presidential Grand Tour?  It’s free!” 

Raine couldn’t help but chuckle at his childlike giddiness.  She was happy that he seemed as ecstatic as she was.  Laguna led her into the living room and off to the left side, where they entered a cozy den.  “This is the man-area.  We boys play poker in here a couple times a month.  Squall usually ends up with most of our money.”

Raine walked around the perimeter of the room, covertly dragging her finger along the surface of the woodwork.  “You keep this place pretty clean, Loire.  You’ve changed a lot.”  She shot him a sly smirk. 

Laguna scratched the back of his neck.  “Ahh, actually, I have a housekeeper.  She comes by once a week.” 

Raine chuckled.  “Well, I think she can be let go, I’ll gladly take over for her.”

Laguna made his way towards her and took her hands in his own.  “You don’t have to clean!”

Raine smiled and squeezed his hands.  “Laguna, this is exactly what I want.  I want to wake up every morning and make you breakfast.  I want to do a little housework here and there.  I want to be a mother to Squall and Ellone.  Everything we were cheated out of…now we have the chance to do it all.”

Laguna rested his palm against Raine’s cheek.  “You truly are an amazing woman, Raine Loire.  Here you are, freshly rescued from the desert, and you’re thinking about housework.  And I agree, I just want to have a normal life as we possibly can together.  Although, being the President makes life kinda tough sometimes.  You up to the challenge?”

“I was up to it the minute I laid eyes on you.  This is the only thing I have ever wanted.  When Ash told me you were dead, what little life I had crumbled.  Everything I had hoped for died with you that day.  And even though I thought I knew that we would never be together again, I still dreamed about it.  It kept me sane in a way.  Now we are together again, and I intend to be the best wife I can possibly be—the wife I dreamed every night of being.  I’ll be damned if I’m going to let those jerks keep me from being happy anymore.”

Laguna kissed her forehead.  “Man, now I remember what made me fall in love with you.  You’re no nonsense.” 

Then, Raine noticed something hanging on the wall out of the corner of her eye.  “Is that Mildred?”

Laguna looked towards the wall where his treasured assault rifle hung proudly.  “Yes indeed.  She’s outta service now, though.  Kiros and Ward won’t let me shoot it anymore.” 

“I never understood that name, Mildred.  Seems like an odd thing to call a weapon.  You never did tell me where it came from.”

Laguna smiled sheepishly.  “It was my grandmother’s name.  Up until I met you, she was the strongest most steel-willed woman I had ever meant.  She didn’t take any crap.  I guess I figured it was a fitting name.” 

Raine patted his face.  “I would have loved to meet her.” 

He took her hand and led her out of the den, continuing their tour of the presidential residence.  They stopped in front of the window wall, Raine admiring the grand city.  It was a far cry from the desert, and Winhill for that matter.  She found herself missing the tiny hamlet ever so slightly, even though she was happy with Laguna in Esthar.  After all, it was where she was born and grew up.  She hoped they could go back soon.

The pair walked down the hallway, Laguna pointing out a small bathroom and a few small bedrooms, that weren’t being used.  He had suggested that Raine could use the rooms for whatever she wanted.  They came to the end of the hallway, to a half-opened door.  “Well, that’s my, I mean, our bedroom.”  She could tell he was nervous, as he tried to massage his thigh without her noticing. 

She pushed the door open, immediately able to smell the scent of Laguna’s cologne.  The room was illuminated by bright sunlight streaming through a second wall of windows.  The balcony doors had been left open, a warm breeze making the curtains billow.  The bed was unmade; blankets tangled together, a pillow on the floor.  “I see you still have the same bed making skills from before.” 

Laguna shrugged his shoulders.  “Hey, I didn’t have anyone to answer to until today!”

 They made their way onto the balcony, where once again, Laguna held her tight in his arms.  “I know I’ve said it a lot today, but I still can’t believe this is happening.  I mean, you’re really here.”  They stayed in each other’s embrace for a long moment, taking in the sights of the city below them, relishing in each other’s presence.  It was in this closeness that Raine heard the telltale sounds of a grumbling stomach.  She giggled slightly.

“It sounds like you need some lunch.”

“Yeah, I kinda skipped breakfast.

Raine pushed back from Laguna.  “Show me the kitchen?  I can make us something to eat.”

Laguna hesitated.  “Ummm, okay….” 

They walked to the kitchen, Raine almost fainting at the sight.  The room was bigger than the pub in Winhill.  Laguna had two gas ranges, one on a center island.  There was more cabinet space than Raine had ever seen in her lifetime.  She also noticed that it was suspiciously clean, and remembered that Laguna had never been much of a chef.  “I’m going to go out on limb here.  I’m guessing that you don’t use this place much, do you?”  Raine tapped crossed her arms and tapped her foot.

Laguna laughed nervously, trying not to scratch his head.  “Yeah, well, I don’t need to cook for myself.  I just order from the main kitchen most of the time.  For everything else, I just have frozen pizza and macaroni.  Oh, and ice cream.  Lots of ice cream.”  He had a childlike smile on his face.  “And Squall is a pretty good cook, sometimes he feeds me too.”

It warmed Raine’s heart to hear that she and Squall had a potential common interest.  She hoped they could share it with each other at some point. She then turned her attention back to Laguna.  “So, are you telling me that if I open these cabinets they’re going to be empty?”

Laguna raised his eyebrows and bit his lower lip.  “Not empty, just full of junk.  What can I say; I have a sweet tooth, remember?”

Raine gave him a scolding glance.  “First thing tomorrow we’re going to the grocery store and stocking this place properly.  How am I supposed to make sure the President eats well with no food in house?”

Laguna’s hand instinctively went to his neck.  “Uhhh, they don’t let me go to the store.  Kiros says I’ll just buy candy and chips, and he’s probably right.  Plus, it’s a security risk.  I’d get mobbed!”  He sat down at the center island.  “I tell you what, you make a list of everything you think we should have and my assistant will make sure you get it.”

Raine frowned at Laguna’s idea.  It reminded her of Ash, and his offer to do the same thing decades ago. 

“Raine?  Did I say something wrong?”  Laguna had a concerned look to his face. 

She sighed.  “No, it’s just…Ash did the same thing for me.  I wasn’t allowed to leave under any circumstances so everything was brought to me.”

Laguna lowered his eyes.  “Geez, I’m sorry I reminded you of that place.”

Raine tapped his hand, which was resting on the countertop.  “Hey, you didn’t know.  It’s fine, really.  I’m totally okay with making a list for your assistant.  I understand why we can’t just go to the store on a whim, really.”

Laguna smiled back, nodding his head.  “How’s about in the meantime I call the central kitchen and have them bring us a lunch fit for kings?  You still like bacon cheeseburgers?”


	36. Phoenix Chapter Thirty-five

Phoenix:  Chapter Thirty-five

“Are you sure we need all that?  I’ve never heard of half that stuff.”  Laguna sat with Raine at the center island of their kitchen, munching on the remnants of lunch.  She had been putting the finishing touches on a list of foodstuffs she would need.  “What’s arrowroot?”

Raine rolled her eyes and snatched the list from his hand, taking a sip of her chocolate milkshake.  “That’s because you don’t cook for yourself.  If you want me to properly stock this kitchen and make you fabulous meals I need every last bit.  And arrowroot is a natural thickener.”  She drained the last of her icy beverage, moaning in pleasure.  “I can’t believe I can get one of these whenever I want.  I’m going to get very spoiled, very fast.”

“It’s good to be the President.”  Laguna cleared the dishes and walked them over to the dishwasher.  “And it’s good that I can actually share this wonderful life with you.”

Raine glanced over her list one more time, and then handed it to Laguna.  “It’s all set.  You’re sure this isn’t too much to ask of your assistant?”

“Believe me; he’d rather go do it than risk me getting bowled over by a crowd of fans.”

Raine chuckled at the mention of Laguna’s “fans.” Raine tried to imagine his admirers, likening them to groupies following a rock star around.   The fact that a President would have such a loyal following was incredible to her.  Her memories of Presidents and leaders were that of Galbadian heavies, not caring for the people, only themselves.  She was somewhat humbled by the man in front of her.  The last time they were together, he was still a bumbling young man, but passionate about finding Ellone and returning her safely to the village.  Now he was President of the largest and most powerful nation on the planet.

 It made her head spin. 

She caught Laguna staring at her, almost as if he were mesmerized.  “What’s wrong?  Do I have whipped cream on my nose or something?”  Raine swiped at her face.

“Nothing’s wrong, in fact everything couldn’t be more perfect.  Look at us, it’s like time stood still and here we are, back to our old life.  Sitting in the kitchen, making a grocery list.  It’s like we’ve been together this whole time.”  He extended a hand to her, beckoning her to follow. 

She left the list on the countertop and let Laguna lead her into the den.  He patted the couch, instructing her to sit, before going over one of many bookshelves that lined the walls.  She watched as he pulled three books that looked to be photo albums down.  He sat next to her, and she snuggled into the crook of his arm.

“How’s about a trip down memory lane?  And a trip up new-memory lane?” 

Raine giggled at Laguna’s choice of words.  He always had a knack for making up absurd ways to describe events and things.  He opened up the first album and revealed a torn-out magazine page.  Raine recognized it right away.  It was the same _Timber Maniacs_ article she had kept under her pillow for years.

“I’ve seen this article, Laguna.  It was one of the only tangible things I had to connect with you.  I found the magazine in one of the abandoned lab rooms.”  She looked down, almost as if she was embarrassed.  “I slept with it under my pillow.”

Laguna snaked his arm around Raine, holding her tightly.  “I’m glad I could be there for you, even if it was in paper-form.”

They turned the pages together, looking through various shots of them in Winhill.  Ellone jumping on a bed. Raine picking flowers. Laguna cleaning “Mildred.”  They all looked so happy in the images.  Raine was warmed by the pictures, remembering happy times.  When they came upon their wedding photos, her tears began to flow freely.  Laguna looked so handsome, Ellone so precious.  She had loved her wedding dress, and had helped the seamstress in town with the lace herself.  She wondered what had happened to the garment, to all her possessions in the pub.  In the same moment, Raine was both overjoyed to see the images again, and saddened that her time with Laguna had been so short-lived.  She vowed then and there to make every minute now with him count.  

“Where did you get these pictures?”

Laguna’s body began to shudder as he started to laugh.  “I stole them.” 

Raine looked up to him with a quizzical look on her face.  “Laguna Loire, petty thief?”

Laguna explained further.  “When I went back to Winhill to, well, to pay for your headstone…”  He hesitated, cringing at the memory.  “I kinda went to the pub when the villagers weren’t paying attention and stole some things.  They would have never let me have them otherwise.  I took these photos, a few of Ellone’s dolls, and some of your belongings.”

“A few of my things?  Like what?”  Raine was beaming at the thought of some of her personal effects from that era still being around. 

“That white sweater that you always wore, and your earrings.  I couldn’t find your wedding ring.” Laguna looked very disappointed.  “I have them socked away somewhere.”

Raine smiled softly and sighed.  The fact that Laguna had risked even more ire from the villagers to get mementos of her tugged at her heart strings.  He seemed desperate to hold onto memories of her, just as she had been with the magazine article.  She thanked the stars that they never had to be apart again.  She focused her attention back to the album.

The last page contained an image Raine had never seen before, and she had no idea who had snapped the photo.  She and Laguna were embracing, Raine’s head turned away from the photographer.  She instantly recognized it as the day Laguna left to find Ellone.  Her mind swirled at the memory of that day, how devastated she was at the loss of Elle and the impending parting with Laguna.  Knowing what she did now, she also was saddened by the fact that she had been pregnant at the time, and neither of them knew before Laguna left.  Raine felt it was very fitting that the image was the last in the album, that it symbolized an end of an era of sorts.

“Who took this picture?  I’ve never seen it before.”

“That would be Kiros.  He’s always considered himself somewhat of a semi-professional photographer.  He says it relieves stress.”

Raine sighed.  “I don’t even remember him being there that day.  I guess I was too caught up in the fact that you were leaving me.”  She snuggled in closer to her husband.  “That was one of the worst days of my life.  That, and the day I went into labor.  I wished every day that you would make it back in time for the baby, and when he came five weeks early I was devastated.  Not that it would have made much difference, but I hoped that you would come bursting through the door every day.”

Raine felt Laguna’s shoulders slump.  “Hyne, Raine, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.  I feel like it’s my fault that you…well, that you died.  If I would have been there I…”

Raine cut him off.  “You couldn’t have done anything.  I still would have bled out.  You aren’t a doctor, and nothing you could have tried to do would have saved me.  What’s done is done, and by some sort of miracle, we’ve been given another chance.  I guess it’s the only good thing Odine has ever done, in a creepy sort of way.”

Laguna used his thumb to wipe a stray tear from the corner of his eye.  “Still, if I had even known you were pregnant, I could have sent for you and Squall would have been born in Esthar, and you would have had a fighting chance.”

“Laguna, with all the communications down because of Adel’s reign of terror, there was no way we could contact each other.  Let’s not dwell on the past.  She’s dead; we’re alive and can start over again.”

He closed the album, and set it on the armrest of the sofa.  “You’re right, like always.”  He laid the next album on Raine’s lap.  “Would you like to see some pictures of Squall and Ellone?”

Raine could feel her entire face flush at the mention of their names.  “Are you kidding?”  She opened the book slowly, and the first photo she saw was a group of smiling children, about five years old.  “What’s this?  Some kind of school picture?”

Laguna smiled, a hint of sadness in his face.  “Not exactly.  It’s an orphanage picture.  Squall is the one in the middle, with the red shirt on.”

Raine’s heart sunk.  Her son had grown up an orphan.  She fought back tears as she ran her fingertip down the length of his body in the image.  Her worst fears had come true.  Laguna didn’t raise their son.

“How did he end up in an orphanage, Laguna?”  Raine’s voice was cracking ever so slightly.

Laguna took a deep breath and sighed.  “The villagers lied to me.  When I came back looking for you and Elle, they told me you had died, but they never said how.  I finally managed to wrestle the fact that they had sent Ellone to an orphanage out of the old bat that ran the flower shop.  No one ever mentioned Squall.  Not once.”  Raine could hear the resentment and underlying anger in his voice.  “Those people hated me from the very beginning, I knew it.  I know they didn’t want to see you get mixed up with some strange soldier.  After dwelling on it, I have come to the realization that they probably thought the ultimate way to get back at me for “ruining your life”, as the general store merchant called it, was to hide my only child from me.” 

He ran his hand through her long hair, entwining his fingers in the strands.  “I’m so sorry that I didn’t raise him Raine.  That he grew up in a military school, being taught to kill.  If I would have known about him, I swear it would have been different!” 

Raine sat up and turned to face Laguna.  She took cupped his chin in her hand and turned his head towards her.  “Listen to me, Loire.  It’s in the past.  Did he grow up to be a good person?  Is he a responsible leader, a fierce warrior?”  Laguna nodded.  “See?  It all worked out in the end.  He’s successful at what he does, and I can only hope that he’s happy.”  Raine kissed Laguna on the cheek, and sat back in her place, curling into his body once more.  “He is happy, right?”

Laguna sighed, resting his chin on the top of his wife’s head.  “For the most part, I guess.  He’s not the most forthcoming individual when it comes to feelings and emotions. That’s part of the ‘Squall-ness’ I mentioned.  I really had to work hard these last five years to finally get to him.  We’re working on it.”

Raine stifled a yawn, her eyes beginning to close as she basked in Laguna’s body heat.  “Was he unhappy as a child?”

Laguna tried not to snort.  “You could say that, I guess.  He had a very strict upbringing, and a lot of it was self-imposed.  He left the orphanage when he was almost six, and went straight to Balamb Garden.  From the moment he got there, he was trained to be a mercenary.  I think he enjoyed it to an extent, but then again, who knows?  He really doesn’t talk about it much.”

Raine yawned again, trying to focus on Laguna’s words.  “Is he good at what he does?”

Laguna’s voice beamed with pride.  “Oh man, you should see him in action.  He swings that gunblade around like it’s a feather.  It’s effortless.  He’s in such good shape he puts anyone to shame, and he’s a master tactician and strategist.  He has planned some of the most intricate and dangerous SeeD missions ever attempted.  That, and he’s tough as nails.  The kid’s been shot twice, beaten, tortured and even had an ice spike go right through his chest.  And that’s just the stuff I know about.  I don’t know how he’s still alive sometimes.”  He nudged Raine in the ribs.  “It must be the Leonhart blood in him.”

Fighting impending sleep, Raine managed to shoot back, “Well, he certainly doesn’t get the bravery from you.  I remember you being quite the chicken when it came to blood.”  She exhaled deeply, the darkness of exhaustion finally taking her.

Laguna grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over their laps.  He closed his eyes and settled down into the comfy plush leather.  He let his eyes close and smiled as he too quickly found rest.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

The only indication that a substantial amount of time had passed was the grumbling in Squall’s stomach.  Looking at the clock on his computer screen, he realized that it was almost four in the afternoon.  He was amazed at how three small emails from various faculty members and one SeeD request had turned into seven hours of work.

Trying to decide whether or not to go home and cook or just order in, he turned his chair around to gaze out over the city.  He sat watching the cars whiz by below him.  His phone rang and snapped him away from the window.  He smiled slightly at the name on the screen.

**Jane**

He had met her a year prior, when she had been hired as the new History instructor at Esthar Garden.  She was a year older than him at twenty-four.  She was a civilian from Trabia, looking for adventure in the big city.  Their relationship was strictly professional at first, as Squall did not want to risk either of their careers by fraternizing.  It became apparent very quickly though that the both of them had strong feelings for each other that went way beyond working together.

They had kept their relationship secret for several months, not wanting to attract any attention.  Squall had wanted it that way, and Jane accepted it.  She understood why he wanted to keep their relationship quiet, he had a very high profile job and father, and didn’t want the media poking around all the time.  They bothered him enough because of his relationship to Laguna.

Just recently it had leaked that Commander Leonhart had been dating an instructor at Garden, and surprisingly, Squall didn’t fight the news.  He astonished himself by not lashing out at the press, instead choosing to ignore them altogether.  His private life was for him, no one else.  He didn’t even talk much about it with Laguna, which left the President feeling ignored somewhat.  Squall knew that Laguna wanted him to open up more, but he still had boundary issues with the man.  Hell, Jane had only met Laguna a handful of times, and even then their encounters had been very brief. 

He picked up the phone and connected the call. 

_“Lemme guess, you’re in your office.”_

Squall stifled a small chuckle.  “Yeah, I had some things I needed to take care of.”  He knew he should tell her about that morning’s events, but he didn’t know how to bring it up.  It’s not every day you enter into a conversation with, _“Guess what?  My dead mother is alive.”_

_“You hungry?  Want to meet me for dinner?”_

Squall exhaled through his nose.  “Sure.  Why don’t you come over to my place.  I have something I want to discuss with you.”

_“Listen to you, all formal with me.  I would love to come over and have a “discussion”.  You crack me up sometimes.  You want pizza?”_

Squall smiled.  “Pizza sounds great, no green peppers.  Give me forty-five minutes, okay?”

_“You got it.  See you in a bit.”_

He disconnected the call and found himself with a huge grin on his face.  He was glad no one was around to see it.  He saved his smiles for Jane and Ellone, and sometimes Laguna.  He liked feeling this way for someone else, liked that she reciprocated his affections.  He hadn’t felt this way about a woman since Rinoa, and he found himself thinking very seriously that he could see himself spending the rest of his life with Jane.  The distraction of his girlfriend quickly waned when he began to close down his computer windows, as he saw that he had left the search engine open with his inquiries about Ash and Raine.  He scowled as he was brought back to reality. 

He knew he would have to see her at some point, but he just wasn’t ready. Maybe Jane would have some input.  He smiled again at the thought of her name. 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

The door chimed and Squall swore he could smell the pizza from across the room.  He flipped off the TV and rolled off the couch, heading for the door.  As he got closer, the tantalizing aroma of pepperoni and mushrooms invaded his nose. 

He slid the door open and there, holding a gigantic pizza box in her arms was Jane.  She was petite at just over five feet tall, with short black hair and glasses.  Squall loved the way she always had quirky tee-shirts with off the wall sayings and brightly colored nail polish on. Today’s clothing offering was a black top with a snarky Moomba instructing you to “Talk to the Paw.” She definitely didn’t fit the bill when it came to Garden Instructor, and he figured that’s one of the reasons he had fallen for her in the first place.  She wasn’t like any other woman he had ever met.

They spent a lot of their time together holed up in either of their apartments, watching movies and playing video games.  He found out quite quickly that she was no slouch as an opponent, and usually ended up kicking his ass at most games.  She loved action movies, the more violent, the better.  A girl after his own heart.    She was a no-nonsense gal, and could hold her own with the toughest of characters.  She had a sailor’s mouth and wasn’t afraid to voice her opinion, but at the same time had a soft feminine side.  She cooked and baked like a pro, and they spent a lot of time trying out new recipes on each other. He liked the fact that he could share his love of cooking with someone else.  Zell thought it was hilarious that the powerful SeeD commander liked to make muffins. 

She also had a fantastic head on her shoulders.  She had studied Centran History at Deling University after leaving Trabia.  Squall was amazed that she managed not one, but two college bachelor’s degrees:  History and Education.  Not to mention her graduate work in the deserts of Centra, digging up relics for museums.  She had just come off her last dig when the job at Esthar Garden had opened up, and she had jumped at the chance to teach at such a prestigious academy.     

He loved her little personality quirks, the way she stuck her tongue out of the side of her mouth when she was concentrating, or how she always made sure none of her food was touching on her plate.  She was constantly fidgeting her feet when she sat and she hated spiders. 

Squall knew that if a woman was going to survive a relationship with him and his moodiness, she would need to be strong. She couldn’t be afraid to stand up to him when he let himself brood too much. But he also needed someone that could pull him out of his shell, someone he could feel comfortable enough to relax around.

Jane was a good match.

He took the pizza from her arms and kissed her cheek.  “Come on in.” 

She crossed the threshold and slipped off her sandals. She stood on her tip-toes and kissed Squall softly on the lips. “I’m starving!  Let’s dig into that damn thing before I eat my shirt.”

They decided on eating on the patio, watching the city switch from day to night.  They ate quietly at first, before Jane broke the silence. 

“You’re quieter than usual.  What’s bugging you?”  She sucked a long string of cheese into her mouth.

Squall sighed.  “I received some unexpected news this morning.”  He hesitated, not knowing quite how to continue.  “Jane, my mother is alive.”

The woman in front of him immediately dropped the piece of pizza from her hands as her mouth hung open.  “What?   How is that possible?”

“Laguna and I were working out this morning and Kiros came in, telling us that Odine had some sort of secret project.  He resurrected her, Jane.  Someone in Winhill gave up her body and he brought her back to life.”

The young woman drummed her fingertips on the table.  “I don’t understand. How is that possible?  And if she was alive, how come no one knew?  I mean, Odine couldn’t keep something like that a secret from everyone, could he?”

Squall sprinkled some red pepper flakes on his slice of pizza.  “You’d be amazed at what Odine was capable of.  You’re lucky you grew up in Trabia and didn’t have to hear about or deal with him too much.  He was super-intelligent, I’ll give him that.  But he always gave me a bad feeling, like he was up to no good.  Now I know he was.”  Squall took a bite of his pizza.  “From what we can tell, Odine and a doctor named Ash, who had been the other participant in the project, panicked when they realized that she was Laguna’s wife.  Odine exiled them to the desert.  Ash was found murdered really early this morning, and the police found Raine inside.  Something about this whole situation feels off, and Laguna is diving in, letting her back into his life without being the slightest bit cautious.”  Squall lowered his eyes.  “I…I don’t know what to do.”

Jane got up and sat next to him.  “Look, I know this must have come as a huge shock to both you and Laguna.  I know that if I were just suddenly told my dead mother was very much alive, I wouldn’t know how to react either.”  She gently patted his hand.  “Squall, I wish I had perfect advice for you.  I don’t like to see you hurting and confused.”

Squall looked out at the city.  “I just have so many worst-case scenarios running through my head.  What if she isn’t who she seems?  What if this Ash character or Odine did something to her?  No one is stopping to think that there may be ulterior motives here.  What if she’s been trained to be an assassin, or…”

Jane stopped him by kissing him deeply on the lips, getting his attention.  “Will you listen to yourself?  It seems to me that you’re trying to give yourself a reason not to be involved.  You’re afraid that you’ll be hurt again.  You feel like you were abandoned by her when she died, and you’re grasping at straws here, trying to find any reason not to get close to her.  You don’t want to go through the pain of your childhood again if she leaves or does something terrible.  Am I right?”

He simply stared at her.

She held his hand, squeezing tightly.  “Look, I will be the first to admit that I share a little bit of your concern.  I mean, it’s not every day that a dead woman just shows up on the radar out of the blue.  Who knows what they did to her?  But the fact of the matter is: she’s here now, she’s not showing any hostility, she’s probably scared out of her mind, and all she wants to do is see her family.  You know I don’t have any kids or motherly instincts, but I can tell you that if I were in her shoes, I would want to see you.  I would be heartbroken to be rejected.”

Squall made an attempt to speak but was cut off.   He instead looked away towards the Esthar skyline.

“I agree that everyone needs to be cautious, especially Laguna.  Even though I have only met him a few times, he seems like a passionate man and that sometimes he has tendency to jump into situation without thinking enough about it.  He’s a good guy, and it’s obvious that he loved your mother very much.  But that doesn’t mean you can’t at least go and introduce yourself.  You need this, Squall.  Think of it as potentially closing a door to one very painful time in your life, only to open another one into happiness.” 

She poked her finger into his cheek, forcing him to look at her.  “Haven’t you once thought about meeting her?  Weren’t you the least bit curious about her when you were a kid?  This is your opportunity to get to know her.  No one ever gets this chance, Squall.  Dead means dead, and yet here she is, alive.  Don’t blow this, when others would kill to be in your shoes.”  She kissed his cheek and went back to her original seat.  “Be a man, Leonhart.”

She was right, of course.  Squall knew everything she said was true.  “Be a man, huh?”  He scowled and picked a stray onion off of his piece of pizza.  “I guess you’re right.  I’ll go tomorrow morning.  Thanks, Jane.”

She smiled and shoved her remaining pizza crust into her mouth.  “You may think you’re all complex and shit, but I got you figured out, _Commander._ ” 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

 

_A/N:  Ok, those of you who know me may have noticed a little bit (ok, a lot) of similarity between Jane and a certain author whose name rhymes with “debedora.”  Although I haven’t been 24 for 10 years… *hides* Can’t blame a girl, can you?  Now shut up._

_Oh, and “Talk to the Paw?”  Gotta love Emerald Latias._ _J_


	37. Phoenix Chapter Thirty-six

Phoenix:  Chapter Thirty-six

                Raine woke up to find herself alone and under a fuzzy blanket.  Her brain panicked for an instant, as she didn’t immediately recognize her surroundings.  A quick glance around the room quelled her fears.  Mildred was on the wall, photo albums stacked on the coffee table in front of her, Laguna’s cologne still lingering in the air. 

She was home.

Laguna, however, was nowhere to be found.  The sun was low on the horizon, and Raine wondered just how long she had been asleep.  She pushed the blanket aside and got up from the sofa.  As she made her way to the door, she heard Laguna’s voice, along with a younger male’s.  Her face immediately lit up, hoping the voice belonged to Squall.  She skipped into the living room and towards the kitchen, where the sounds were coming from.

Her elation was short lived when she entered the kitchen to find Laguna speaking with a young blond-haired man. She was disappointed that it wasn’t Squall. There were several paper bags containing groceries on the center island, a bouquet of roses in Laguna’s hands.

“Oh man, Raine!  You ruined the surprise!”  Laguna attempted to quickly hide the flowers behind his back.  “I was going to come wake you up in a minute.” 

Raine padded into the kitchen, seating herself at one of the barstools surrounding the island.  Laguna motioned towards the young man.  “This is David, my assistant.  Anything you need, he’ll get for you.  His number is on speed-dial.”  Laguna scratched his neck.  “Otherwise I wouldn’t remember it.”

The man bowed his head.  “It’s an honor to meet you, Mrs. Loire.  Welcome home.  And the President is right; I’m here to make sure you have anything and everything that you need.  I also try to keep him out of trouble.”  A small smile graced his lips.

She smiled sweetly at him, nodding.  He seemed like a wonderful young man.

“I’ll get out of your hair now, Mister President, Ma’am.”  David turned and let himself out, leaving the couple alone in the giant kitchen. 

Laguna smiled sheepishly as he rounded the island.  “I guess these aren’t much of a surprise, since you saw them and all.”  He handed the flowers to Raine. 

“They’re beautiful, Laguna.  Thank you.”  She inhaled the strong scent of the buds.  “Do you have a vase?”

Laguna pursed his lips in thought.  “Vase.  _Vaaaaaase_ …Ahhhh, I don’t think so.  I guess I didn’t really think that through, did I?”  He started opening cabinets, trying to find a suitable vessel.  Raine giggled the whole time.  He finally produced a large glass pitcher.  “How ‘bout this?  I never use it.”

Raine stood and took the container from Laguna, and filled it at the sink.  “That’s perfect.  Thank you.  David and I will work on getting us some vases.  I love having flowers around.”

Laguna came up behind Raine and slid his arms around her slender waist.  He nuzzled his face close to her ear and whispered into it.  “I remembered.  That’s why I asked David to get the roses.  I wanted you to really feel like you were home.”

Raine sighed, placing the stems into the water.  “The only thing that would make it better is if Squall would come see me.”  She hung her head, tears starting to well up in her eyes. 

Laguna gently turned his wife around to face him.  He sighed, shaking his head.  “Look, I’m not going to say that his behavior is okay, but it’s his nature.  He’s a very skeptical person, and has trouble getting close to people.”

Raine turned around in Laguna’s arms to face him, confused.  “What does he have to be skeptical of?  Doesn’t he believe it’s me?”

Laguna rested his chin on the top of Raine’s head.  “It’s not that he doesn’t believe you are who you say you are, but he’s suspicious of ulterior motives.  He thinks you could, well, that you could be a threat to me or our family.”

Raine buried her face into Laguna’s chest.  She was sickened by the thought that Squall thought she was trying to hurt Laguna in some way.  She wanted to run to him and scream at the top of her lungs that all she wanted was her life back.  She needed him to understand that Ash and Odine never tried to turn her against Laguna or the rest of the family, that she was just an unwilling participant in a nightmare project.  She began to sob, attempting to muffle her cries in Laguna’s shirt.

“Shhh, Raine, please don’t cry.”  Laguna gently smoothed her hair and tried to soothe her.  “He’ll get better, I promise.  And if he doesn’t, I’ll pull rank on him and drag him in here by his ankles.” 

Raine squeezed her arms around him tightly.  “It’s just not fair, Laguna.  Now that I’m here and with you, the only other thing I want is to see my children.  Ellone has an excuse; she’s halfway around the world.  Squall has no reason other than it seems like he’s being stubborn.  I know that he has trouble accepting strangers and I’m just about the strangest ‘stranger’ around.  But it still hurts that he isn’t here.”

Laguna chuckled slightly, and Raine craned her neck to meet his gaze.  “What’s so funny, Loire?”

Laguna looked away, sheepishly.  “Well, it’s just that when you mentioned stubbornness, it made me think of someone.”

Raine arched an eyebrow.  “Reminded you of someone, eh?  Plan your next words very carefully, Laguna.  Or you’ll be cooking your own dinner tonight.”  She drummed her fingers on his chest.

He scratched the back of his neck, and looked up towards the ceiling, avoiding making eye contact.  “Oh, it’s nothin’ Raine.  I already forgot who it was.” 

“That’s what I thought.  Thanks for trying to cheer me up.  Help me unpack and put away these groceries, wouldja?  Then you can help me make dinner.”

Laguna got a doubtful look on his face.  “I don’t think you want that, _Mrs. Loire._   My cooking skills involve heating up the oven for pizza and not much else.”

Raine dug into one of the bags, pulling out a box of dry pasta.  “Well then, we had better get to work.  I’ll make a cook out of you yet.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX    XxX   XxX  

 

“You’re gonna have to come out of that shack sooner or later, Leonhart!”

“While you’ve got a rocket launcher?  Not a chance.” 

“I promise I won’t shoot you with it.”  Jane batted her eyes in Squall’s direction.  “Look, I un-equipped it.”

They sat on Squall’s couch, a package of chocolate chip cookies next to Jane.  The pair was in heated combat with each other on the big screen TV. 

“I don’t believe you.  C’mon in here with me…it’s nice a cozy.”  Squall’s voice had a false sincerity about it.  He smirked at Jane.

“Yeah right, and walk straight into your claymores the second I cross the threshold?  No thanks.”  Jane tossed her controller on the table.  “I give up.”

“Spoiled sport.”  Squall powered down the system and leaned back into the couch.  Jane seized the opportunity and cuddled up against his body.  He put his arm around her, resting his cheek on her hair.  “Well now what?  It’s only eight o’clock.  You want to watch a movie, or something?”

Jane didn’t answer right away.  Squall was just about to ask his question again when she finally spoke.  “Tell me about your mom?”

Squall was a bit taken aback by her question.  She had never really asked about his family before.  Any of them.  They talked about Laguna and Ellone from time to time, but Squall figured she didn’t ask a lot because she knew what kind of person he was.  He didn’t like to talk about private matters, even with her.  He was getting better about it, letting her inside his walls more, but it was slow going.  He appreciated that she didn’t pry, and he figured she knew he would open up when and if he was ready.    The fact that she had asked about Raine unnerved him.

 Squall hesitated, trying to find the right words.  “I don’t know what to tell you.  She’s dead…at least, she was up until this morning.”  Squall huffed a lock of hair from in front of his eyes.  He wracked his brain, trying to come up with something more to tell her.  Then it dawned on him.  He didn’t know much about her at all.  He had never really brought up the subject with Laguna before.  He knew the man got emotional when he talked about her, and Squall was never that good about dealing with feelings—his own or that of others.  Because of that, he avoided the subject.  The few times her name had come up in the past, Laguna always spoke highly of her, and Squall could surmise that she had been a wonderful woman. 

Seeing her through Laguna’s eyes during the times where Ellone had sent him back gave him insight, albeit small, into her life in Winhill.  He always saw her as a strong, no-nonsense woman.  How she put up with Laguna, he had no idea. 

He didn’t know any specifics about Raine:  if she had any siblings, how she spent her childhood, even mundane things like her favorite color or foods. The only small thing he remembered from his time in Winhill was how much she loved flowers.   He suspected that had she survived and raised him, he would know all those things about her.  He didn’t have a mother to compare it to, only Edea.  And he didn’t know anything about her, either. 

“Leonhart?”   Jane nudged him in the ribs.  “Hey Squall!  You zoned out on me again.”

Squall shook himself out of his thoughts.  “Sorry, I was just thinking about your question.  I guess I don’t really know much about her.”

Jane smiled.  “Well then, that’s just another reason for you to go and introduce yourself tomorrow.  There’s no time like the present to get to know her.”  She sat up, reaching for the package of cookies.  “Damn, all gone.  Well, what do you want to do now?  A movie does sound good.”

Squall got a sly smirk on his face. He needed to get his mind off of the whole Raine situation, and he knew just the thing.  “Oh no, I have a much better idea.”  He reached for the remote and turned off the TV, then scooped Jane up in his arms and carried her, giggling and kicking her feet, all the way to his bedroom.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Laguna swiped his thumb over the surface of his plate, trying to get every last ounce of Raine’s butter sauce.  He stopped short of picking up the plate and licking it.  “Holy crap, Raine.  This was the best meal I have ever had.  Who knew chicken could be so good?  It’s like you plucked it from Heaven, or something.”

Raine shook her head and smiled.  She couldn’t believe that Laguna was actually wiping his plate clean like a child.  “I’m glad you liked it.  You can expect lots more where that came from.”  She sighed contentedly.  “This is so wonderful.  I can’t believe I just made you dinner.  It feels like a dream.”

Laguna extended his hand across the table, and Raine held her own out to meet his.  They held on to each other for a moment, looking into each other’s eyes.  “Well, if this is a dream, then let’s hope we never wake up.  I don’t want to spend another moment without you ever again.”

“Ditto, Loire.”  Raine released her grasp on Laguna’s hand.  “Help me with the dishes?”

Laguna shook his head.  “Oh no you don’t.  No dish duty for you tonight.  You made me a wonderful meal, the least I can do is clean up.  Why don’t you go out onto the balcony and watch the city for a while?  I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

“You sure?”

Laguna nodded.  “Go.  Esthar’s beautiful at night.”

Raine got up and rounded the table to kiss Laguna.  “Thanks.  Don’t be too long, ok?”

She left the kitchen and crossed the expansive living room.  She stopped momentarily to pick up a brass frame with a photo of Squall and Ellone.  The young woman was radiant, smiling from ear-to-ear.  Squall, on the other hand, seemed to be bothered by the fact that his picture was being taken.  Raine’s heart sunk a bit, and she hoped that he at least smiled sometime in his life.  She wanted him to be a happy person, and it bothered her to think that he wasn’t. 

She put the photo back in its place on the end table and approached the balcony doors.  As she opened them, she was washed over by a warm breeze and could hear the bustling streets far below her. She made her way to the railing, gingerly looking over the side.  It took a moment for her to get a sense of balance.  She knew she was high up, but it didn’t sink in until she peered over the edge.  Raine figured she was at least twenty stories in the air. 

It was just after eight in the evening, and the sun had just dipped below the horizon for the day.  The city glowed even brighter at night, the towering buildings looking like giant green plant stalks reaching towards the stars.  Down below, on the streets, she could see cars whizzing past, and strange tube-structures which seemed to carry people around the city.  She was intrigued by the apparatuses, wondering if they encircled the whole metropolis.

She leaned on the balcony, letting the wind blow her loose hair around her face.  She barely noticed Laguna sneak up from behind.  He came to stand next to her, setting two glasses of red wine down on the balcony top.  “It’s pretty awesome, isn’t it?”

“It’s more incredible than I could have ever imagined.”  Raine took one of the wine glasses and sipped the crimson liquid.  “Mmmm, this is really good.”

Laguna sampled his own.  “It is, isn’t it?  It was a present from Squall.  He picked it up in Timber a few months ago when he was on SeeD mission.  I was saving it for a special occasion.”

Raine closed her eyes at the sound of her son’s name.  She stood silently for a moment.  She finally turned to Laguna.  “How did you find him again?  You know, after the orphanage?” 

 The pair made their way to a set of lounge chairs at the end of the balcony.  They sat quietly for a moment, Laguna gathering his thoughts.  Raine waited patiently, sipping her wine and gazing out at shimmering city.

“It was Ellone, she reunited us.  After you died, Elle and Squall were sent to the Kramer’s orphanage.  Man, I hope you get to meet them someday, they truly are the most caring and loving people on the planet.”  Laguna took a sip of his wine.  “Anyway, after we sealed Adel away and the Estharians made me president, Odine got really creepy again and wanted Ellone to study and experiment on.”   Laguna looked down at his hands.  “I had to work with him, Raine.  He was actually a huge asset in sealing that witch up.  I can’t believe right after all of that, he was experimenting on you.”  Raine noticed tears start to drop from her husband’s eyes.

“Hey, Laguna.  You didn’t know.  No one did.  There wasn’t anything you could have done anyway.”

“I know.  It just kills me, that’s all.”  He looked back towards the cityscape.  “Where was I?  Oh yeah, so I decided to go back to Winhill and get Elle before that slimy rat could get his hands on her.  But it was too late.  By the time I got there, she was gone already.  All anyone there would tell me was that they sent her to an orphanage.”

Laguna drained his wine glass and set in on a small table in-between the two loungers.  “I searched high and low trying to find which place they sent her to.  I finally stumbled upon the Kramer’s place in Centra.  I was literally a week late.  All they would tell me at the time was that she was gone, and safe.  I know now that she and the orphanage’s Matron, Edea Kramer, had been whisked away by the White SeeDs.”

“White SeeD?”

“Yeah, turns out Edea ended up inheriting the powers of a future Sorceress, Ultimecia, in the past.  I know, it’s really confusing.  Even I don’t get it sometimes.”  Laguna smiled sheepishly.  “Because of that, she needed to go into hiding, and they figured Ellone would be safe with her and the SeeDs that were assigned to protect them.  Elle spent the next twelve-odd years on a ship, sailing around secretly.”

Raine was confused, but decided to let Laguna continue.  She hoped that both Elle and Squall would help her to understand it someday.  She did have one question, though.  “That sorceress, Ultimecia?  She’s the one that Squall fought, isn’t she?”

Laguna nodded.  “Yeah, hero of the world.  He and his comrades saved us all.”  He beamed with pride.  “Anyway, Elle came up with this plan to use her freaky powers to send Squall back into me and try and change the past.  She wanted to prevent her kidnapping from ever happening, and make sure that I never left Winhill.  She thought if she were to be successful, you might have survived and we could have all lived peacefully.”

Raine remembered those powers.  How Ellone seemed to know when something was going to happen before it occurred, or how she knew things about the past that she shouldn’t have. 

“After a few failed attempts, she realized that it wouldn’t work.  By then we were deep into the Second War, and Ultimecia was threatening the very existence of the whole planet.  It was really scary.”  Laguna physically shuddered at the thought.  “Then she realized that she could at least try and reunite all of us:  me, her and Squall.  The kid had already gotten a not-so-glamorous glimpse into my past life, so she thought it would be a catalyst to bring us closer together.”

Raine chuckled at the idea of just what Squall had actually seen through Laguna’s eyes.  She hoped it wasn’t anything too embarrassing, for Laguna or herself. 

“At that time, I hadn’t seen Elle since I rescued her in Esthar.  I was aboard the Lunar Space Station checking on Adel’s tomb, and “POOF!” she just appears. Oh, Raine, she was beautiful.  I couldn’t even believe it was her.  After we had some bonding time, she told me about Squall.  Needless to say I was shocked and heartbroken.  I felt awful knowing that I had a child with you that grew up without either of us.”  Laguna’s face saddened and he hung his head.  “And all of a sudden, he was standing in front of me in my office and we were trying to figure out a way to beat the future-witch.  I was such a chicken, Raine.  I didn’t tell him that I was his father right away.”

“Why not?”

“I didn’t want him to get distracted.  I mean, he was about to risk his life to save the world.  I didn’t think he would have wanted that extra burden.”

“So when _did_ you actually tell him?

Laguna blew out a breath from puffed cheeks, then scratched his neck.  “N-not for a while.  It just never seemed like the right time.  Everyone was so busy after the war, celebrating and running the press circuit.”

“How long did you wait, Loire?”

“Almost a year.”  Laguna avoided Raine’s eyes.  “And lemme tell you, he was not a happy camper when he found out.  He was really pissed that I knew for so long and didn’t tell him.  I didn’t blame him one bit.”  Laguna exhaled deeply.  “He got over it though, kinda.  We still have awkward patches and we aren’t as close as I would have liked, but I know part of that is just his personality.  We’re both getting better.”

“How did he end up here, then?”

Laguna smiled.  “It was his idea, actually, can you believe it?  About three years ago, after everything had settled down, he brought up the idea of an Esthar Garden.  When the plans were finalized, he volunteered to be the SeeD Commander and interim Headmaster.  I was over the moon at the prospect of having him that close.  I couldn’t believe that he would actually put himself closer to me on purpose. He had spent the better part of those last years trying to avoid me at all costs. Maybe he finally decided to grow up, who knows?   I guess life has a way of surprising you when you least expect it though, huh?”  He tapped Raine’s thigh.

“You said it, Laguna.”  Raine sipped her wine slowly, enjoying the warm feeling in her cheeks as the alcohol began to affect her.  “I’m glad that you two at least are trying to have some sort of relationship.  I just hope he will feel that way for me in time.”

“He will, Raine.  Elle and I will make sure of it.”

Raine smiled at the mention of Ellone.  “Tell me about her, Laguna.”

“She’s the most wonderful woman.  I can’t wait until she gets home you can see her.  Y’know, after all she’s been through, you’d think she’d be bitter or something.  I mean, she spent her childhood on a ship running from crazy scientists and future witches.  She missed out on so much, and yet she’s the happiest, most caring and sympathetic person you’ve ever met.”  Laguna stared out at the city.  “She’s a social worker here in Esthar, helping kids deal with the loss of parents and loved ones from the second war.  I guess her close ties with the subject give her an upper hand in assisting them.”

Raine smiled, happy that Elle was a successful and happy young woman.  “You mentioned she’s getting married next year?  Is he nice?”

“His name is Ryan, and he’s a perfect match for her.  He’s funny, caring and loves kids. They met when she was studying in Dollet, and when it came time for her to come back two years ago, he followed.  They just got engaged a few months ago.  He loves her a lot, and I couldn’t have hand-picked a better guy for her myself.”  Laguna snorted.  “Squall even approves of him, and that’s big.”

Raine was so excited that she would be able to witness Ellone get married.  Ideas began flowing through her mind like helping her pick out a dress and choosing flowers.  She couldn’t wait to see Elle and meet her fiancé. 

“Raine?  Can I ask you something?”

She turned towards Laguna, who had an apprehensive look on his face.  “Of course.  Why do you look so nervous?  You can ask me anything you like.”

“Will you tell me about your life at the lab?”

Raine wasn’t prepared for that question.  She had tried so hard during the day to forget all about that place.  Even though her memories of the lab had been relatively pleasant until yesterday, now all she could think about was how she had been lied to and held captive the entire time.  She never wanted to think about Ash or the lab again.  “Laguna, I know you want to hear about my time there.  And I _will_ tell you about it someday, I promise.  It’s just…”  Raine sighed, trying not to cry. 

Laguna sat up in his lounger and swung his legs over the side.  He turned to face Raine and took her hand in his own.  “Don’t worry about it.  I feel just awful for upsetting you.  I know if and when you want to talk about it, you will.” 

Raine smiled softly.  “Can I ask _you_ a personal question?”

Laguna invitingly spread his arms wide.  “Fire away, I don’t have anything to hide.  Well, except for the ‘Timber Incident.’  But that’s something I’ll leave for Kiros to embarrass me with.”

Raine giggled for a second, then turned serious again.  “Why didn’t you ever remarry?  I mean, we were pretty young when we were, well, separated.”

Laguna absent-mindedly twisted the ring on his finger.  “I never wanted to.  You were my soul mate, and when you died, I didn’t want to be with anybody else.”  He looked deep into her eyes.  “No one could have ever taken your place in my heart, ever.”

Raine suddenly felt a twinge of sadness for Laguna.  Sure, she was happy that his heart still belonged to her after all these years and that they could essentially pick up where they had left off.  But a part of her was sad that he had spent all these years alone.  “You mean there hasn’t been anyone?”

Laguna looked away for a moment.  “Well, there was this one woman.  Ward set me up about ten years ago. She was really nice and we got along very well.  I tried to be happy, I really did, but in the end I just felt like I was cheating on you.  The relationship only lasted three months.”

Raine scooted closer to him on her chair and rested her hand on his knee.  “I’m sorry that you weren’t able to enjoy another relationship.  I have to admit though, that I’m a little happy that you didn’t remarry.  It would have made me coming back very, well, awkward.” 

Laguna brought her hands to his lips and kissed them lightly.  “It just didn’t feel right to me.  I didn’t want you to hate me from beyond the grave.”  He smiled gingerly.  “But it doesn’t matter now, because the faeries gave us a gift and we are together again.  Now we can make up for all that lost time.”

They both stood, holding one another closely.  Raine looked up into her husband’s eyes, seeing the same look of unconditional love she had witnessed more than twenty years ago when they had exchanged vows.  He leaned down and kissed her passionately under the stars.

She was truly home.

 

 


	38. Phoenix Chapter Thirty-seven

Phoenix:   Chapter Thirty-seven

                Squall rolled over and tried to shield his eyes from the blaring sunlight.   As his body moved towards the center of the bed, he found that he was not alone.  Jane lay on her back, legs tangled in the blankets, and snoring softly.  He covered her exposed chest with the sheet and rested on his side, staring at her.  He loved the way she looked when she slept, so peaceful.  It was hard to imagine that some of the foulest language one could ever hear could come from such an angelic-looking creature.  It made him chuckle.  He laid his head back down on his pillow and closed his eyes once more.

His mind wandered to the previous night, and how a night of video games had quickly turned into something very wild.  All the concerns he had about meeting Raine had melted away that evening, lost in the throes of passion.

Then the reality of the day ahead came crashing down on him, effectively removing any pleasurable thoughts from his brain.  He knew that he had to go see her today.  He wouldn’t be able to go about his everyday life efficiently unless he confronted this whole situation and dealt with it, as Jane said, like a man.  He realized he couldn’t avoid Raine and Laguna forever, that eventually he would have to see and talk to them both.  He also knew that the longer he waited, the worse it would be for all those involved.  If he procrastinated because he was brooding, Laguna would eventually begin to pester him again, and the man could be very persistent. 

He decided he would go see her, and give it ten minutes.  That would be enough time to introduce himself and let her and Laguna say what they would inevitably feel the need to say.  Then he could leave and know that he made an effort to meet her.  Hopefully that would be enough to get Laguna off his back and give himself more time to figure out just what the hell was going on. 

 He opened his eyes again at the sound of Jane shifting under the blankets and yawning. 

She groaned and pulled the linens up higher around her body, shivering.  “Fuck, it’s cold in here!”  She cracked her eyelids just enough to be able to see. 

Squall scooted closer and wrapped his arms around her body.  “It’s cold because you’re naked.” 

Jane snorted.  “Look who’s talking.”  She snuggled in closer, trying to wick some of Squall’s body heat away.  “What time is it?”

Squall craned his neck to the right, trying to see his beside clock.  He scowled when he found the numbers were obscured by a lacy bra.  _We really had fun last night._ He swatted at the undergarment until it fell to the floor.  “Six-thirty.”

“Too early.”  Jane yawned again, curling up into a ball.  She sighed contentedly.  “You gonna go see her today?”

Squall exhaled deeply.  “Yeah.  I just want to get it over with.”  He snaked his arm around her waist. 

“Well, what are you waiting for?  You know Laguna gets up at the crack of dawn just like you do.” She poked him in the ribs.

Squall sighed.  No use in delaying the inevitable.  Besides, the sooner he went, the sooner he could come home.  He kissed her softly and rolled over to get out of bed.  He sat up and stretched his arms over his head, rocking his neck back and forth in an attempt to work out the night’s kinks.  He grabbed the bra from the floor and tossed it in Jane’s direction “You might need this.”  He made his way to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

“Yeah?  Well you might need some boxers if you’re planning on going out.”  She pulled the blankets over her head.

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Laguna’s senses were bombarded by the scent of frying bacon and fresh-brewed coffee.  He finished dressing and strolled out into the kitchen.  Raine was standing with her back to him at the stove, barefoot and humming.  He stood in the doorway for a moment watching her.  He was in awe that there was a beautiful woman making him breakfast.  Not to mention that said woman just happened to be his previously-deceased wife.  If Laguna had been a science-fiction fan, he could have made a million Gil on the screenplay rights to this story.

He thought back to an hour ago, when he had opened his eyes to find Raine curled up next to him in their bed.  Her petite body had felt so warm, and he had been very reluctant to even get out of bed.  He was still reeling from the night before. 

Their evening had progressed slowly, neither one wanting to jump into intimacy faster than they were comfortable with.  They both soon realized that even though there were nerves to overcome, in the end, they were still hopelessly in love with one another, with nothing to be embarrassed or worried about. 

They night they had spent together was one of love, slowly getting to know each other again on the most intimate of levels.  They bared their souls to each other, strengthening their bond more than either one could have ever imagined. 

“Good morning, _husband._ ” 

Laguna was brought back to the present by the sweet sound of Raine’s voice.  She had turned around to greet him, tongs in hand.  He realized he had been holding his breath, and exhaled sharply.  She looked so beautiful standing there, her hair pulled back into a loose bun, still clad in the oversized t-shirt and pajama bottoms Laguna had provided for her to sleep in.  Even with no trace of make-up on her face, and in rumpled bedclothes, she was still the most gorgeous creature he had ever seen. 

Laguna approached his wife and kissed her tenderly before wrapping his arms around her tightly.  “It is a good morning, isn’t it?” 

She twisted in his grip, turning back to her sizzling frying pan.  “You’re going to get splattered with bacon grease if you stick around here, Loire.”

Laguna kissed the top of her head and took a seat at the side of the island.  “Do you remember how I like my bacon?” 

Raine picked up a desiccated slice and held it up with her tongs.  “Incinerated.” 

“Bacon truly is one of the ways to a man’s heart Raine, you’re an angel.  The central kitchen laughs at me when I order it that way.”

Raine sighed, changing the subject. “Do you think he’ll come by today?”  She scooped some scrambled eggs onto a plate and handed them to Laguna across the island. 

“Who, Squall?” 

Raine lowered her eyes.  “Yes.  I mean, he’s had a day to muse over everything that’s happened.”

Laguna could tell she was grappling with her emotions.  Squall’s behavior had to be taking an enormous toll on her.  “I don’t know.  He tends to brood for a while when he’s really upset.”

“Squall-ness?”

Laguna snorted.  “Yeah, ‘Squall-ness.’”

Raine served herself and sat across from Laguna.  “I know it sounds weird, but I would even be happy with a phone call at this point.  Just to hear his voice…”

A light went off over Laguna’s head.  _She wanted to hear his voice_.  He reached for his cell phone sitting on the countertop.  “I just got the best idea!  I’ll call him.  I know he won’t answer, but the voicemail will pick up.  Then at least you can hear him talk.”  Raine smiled softly at Laguna’s small gesture of kindness.  Laguna could see by the look on her face that she was excited by the prospect.

He dialed Squall’s number and drummed his fingers on the side of his plate.  As expected, the call went to voicemail.  When the inbox picked up, Laguna switched the call to speaker.

 _“You’ve reached Commander Squall Leonhart.  Leave a message at the tone.”_ The voice on the prompt was strong and matter-of-fact, bordering on monotone. 

“He’s all business, isn’t he?”  Raine picked at her breakfast.  “Thank you, Laguna.  It was nice to hear him speak, even if it was just a voicemail message.”

Laguna patted Raine’s hand across the counter.  “He’ll come around soon, I promise.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“Your phone rang when you were in the shower.  Damn thing woke me back up.”  Jane was sitting up in bed, wiping her glasses with the corner of the sheet. 

Squall picked the device up from the dresser top and furrowed his brow.  Laguna had called.  He was relieved to see that there was no message.  He quickly dressed, then made his way back to the bed, where he sat next to his girlfriend.  “You gonna be here when I get back?  I don’t plan on staying more than ten minutes.”

Jane stretched her arms backwards, lacing her fingers together behind her back.  “If you still have those cinnamon rolls in your fridge, then yes.”  She smiled innocently.  “But don’t expect me to wait to eat them.  You snooze, you lose.”

“Whatever.  I’ll be back in a little while.”  He kissed her softly and left the room.  He entered the kitchen and leaned up against the breakfast bar.  Closing his eyes, he prepared himself for what was to come.  He wasn’t exactly looking forward to facing Laguna after how he had left things the previous day. 

He decided to start the coffee maker before he left, as a courtesy to Jane and to stall his inevitable departure.  Scooping some coffee grounds into the filter, he let his mind wander to what might transpire when he arrived at Laguna’s door.  Would Raine be happy to see him, or upset that he hadn’t made the effort sooner?  He sincerely hoped she wouldn’t cry.  A thought then crossed his mind—what if she wanted to hug him?  He shuddered at the thought, as he wasn’t comfortable with his close friends and family embracing him much, let alone a stranger.  Squall decided he would deal with that event when and if it happened.  Squall filled the cistern in the small appliance with water and started the brewing. 

“I hear you in the kitchen, Leonhart!  Quit stalling and get the hell outta here!”

Obeying the stern command that came from his bedroom, Squall grabbed his keycard and headed out.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Laguna heard the door chime just as he was loading the last of the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher.  He wasn’t expecting someone this early on a Sunday morning.  Raine had gone to take a quick shower and dress for the day while Laguna had volunteered to clean up.  He took a last swig of his coffee and deposited the mug into the appliance, then turned it on. 

He whistled a cheery tune as he strolled over to the door, feeling the breeze from the open patio doors as he crossed the living room. The door slid open when he brushed his fingertip across the touchscreen on the keypad.

“Squall.”

The young man stood in the hallway, casually dressed in blue jeans and a black t-shirt.  The tattoos on either of his upper arms were just barely peeking out from the hem of his sleeves.  He stood with his hands shoved in his pockets, and never uttered a word.

Laguna was genuinely surprised to see his son.  He figured it would take him at least a few days to come around.  He smiled softly, wondering if Jane had helped him to see how silly he had been acting.  He had only met her a handful of times, but he knew enough about the young woman to know that she was no pushover, and let Squall know when he was acting like a child. 

Laguna was happy to see him, and relieved that it seemed like he had finally come to his senses.  He knew this would mean the world to Raine, but he was on his guard.  Squall definitely had trouble emotional or uncomfortable situations, and Laguna knew this first meeting would be both. 

“Uhh, you wanna come in?”

“Yeah, thanks.”  Squall crossed the threshold, Laguna noticing the he seemed to be surveying the living space, as if he were looking for someone.

“She’s getting dressed, in case you’re wondering.”  Laguna motioned to the couch in the living room.  “Wanna sit down?”

Squall shook his head.  “No.  I’m not staying long.”  The young man pulled his hand through his brown locks.  “Look, I…”

Laguna could tell that his son was having difficulty finding words.  He so badly wanted to hear an apology for his actions the day before, to hear that he had acted irrationally.  Laguna knew, however, that the possibility of that happening was slim to none.  He knew that the young man felt very strongly in his opinion of Raine, and that he wouldn’t be easily convinced otherwise. 

Laguna was just grateful that he was here now, and maybe they could all work on starting a relationship with one another. Although Laguna desperately wanted to know more about why Squall had acted so passionately the day before, he knew better than to press the subject right now.   He would ask questions later, no need in sending Squall running by digging into his emotional state. 

“…I just came by to meet her.  Don’t expect me to be all lovey-dovey and forget about my feelings on the subject.”

Laguna nodded.  “Okay.  Squall, I’m really proud of you for doing this.  I know it must have taken a lot of courage to come here this morning.  I can kinda imagine what you’re feeling, after all we both got the same news yesterday, am I right?”  He tried to crack a silly smile, but instantly realized Squall wasn’t in a joking mood.  “Can I ask you something though?”

“Whatever.”

“What changed your mind?  I thought for sure I’d have to hunt you down and drag you in like a chained Behemoth.”

The young man sighed, tracking his gaze away from Laguna and off into the distance.  “Nothing changed my mind.  I still feel very strongly that something isn’t right with this whole situation.”  He shifted his weight as he crossed his arms over his chest.  “Jane and I talked last night and she made me see things from a different perspective.  She made me realize that no matter what kind of opinions I have on the matter, the fact is that Raine is here and probably wants to meet me.  Don’t get me wrong, I still have a lot of reservations and it’s going to take a hell of a lot of evidence to convince me otherwise, but I shouldn’t make her suffer just because I’m leery of her past.”

Laguna smiled at his son.  He was proud that he shared his feelings, even if some of them were still negative.  He knew it took a lot of courage on Squall’s part to come to them this morning, especially when he still felt very strongly about the whole situation. He made a mental note to thank Jane for making him see how his behavior was hurting Raine. 

“Thank you, Squall, for doing this.  It means a lot to me and I sure as hell know it means a lot to your mother.”  Laguna noticed instantly as his son cringed slightly at the mention of Raine as “his mother.”

“Don’t thank me for anything, Laguna.  I need to do this as much for me as I do for her.” 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Raine looked at herself in the mirror, smoothing her hair down with her hands.  She adjusted the collar on her short-sleeved pink blouse, the only one she had brought with her.  After she was satisfied with her appearance, she spritzed a tiny amount of floral perfume on her wrists and left the bedroom. 

“Laguna?  I didn’t know where you usually put your wet towels so I just hung it over…”

Raine stopped dead in her tracks.  Upon entering the living room, her eyes fell on Squall.  He was standing in the middle of the room with Laguna, seemingly in a conversation.  His brow was furrowed, a slight scowl on his face.  His arms were crossed across his chest, making his biceps bulge under his black shirt.  She could just make out the bottoms of black tattoos on both arms, and wondered what the designs were.  He and Laguna were the same height, but Squall was definitely more toned than his father.  It was obvious that he worked out regularly.

The two men had turned in the direction of the hallway when they heard her voice, and were now both facing her.  She could feel Squall’s blue eyes piercing her as he stared.  He never flinched or acknowledged her.  She stood silently, never finishing her previous sentence.  She had to remind herself to breathe.  All he could do was stare at the handsome young man in front of her.  Even though he looked like Laguna in the photo she had of him, seeing him in person brought out all the Leonhart features in his face.  She immediately noticed that he had her eyes and cheek structure, and of course, Laguna’s chin.  She couldn’t stop herself from bringing her hands to her mouth in awe.

He was really here.

“Raine?  Look who showed up!”  Laguna was beaming, and patted the young man on the back.  Squall immediately stiffened and gave him a scathing look. 

Raine timidly took small steps towards them, all the while keeping her hands at attention over her mouth.  She came to a stop next to Laguna, visibly trembling.  She closed her eyes briefly, telling herself this was truly happening. 

When she opened them, her eyes locked with those of her son.  _His eye_ s _are so intense and beautiful, like ice.  And that scar…it makes him look intimidating._

She finally managed to squeak out some semblance of words.  “S-squall?  I can’t believe you’re here.”  He stood silently, lightly chewing on his bottom lip.  She could tell he was nervous.  She felt the tears in her eyes begin to slide down her face, her breath beginning to hitch.  Her voice was barely above a whisper.  “Thank you.”

Squall looked to Laguna, who motioned with his head and very animated eyebrows to talk to her.

“I-I just wanted to introduce myself.  I didn’t want you to feel…rejected.” 

Raine could sense the emphasis in his voice on his last word.  She let the sound of his voice reverberate around in her brain, relishing in its smooth melody.  His words seemed to dance in her mind, like a beautiful song.  She was so happy to hear him speak in person.

Raine clasped her hands at her abdomen, resisting the urge to jump at him and embrace the young man.  From what Laguna had told her, he was leery of physical contact, even from those closest to him.  She knew she would get the chance to hold him in her arms again soon enough.  She didn’t want to scare him away when he just finally came to her.

“I’m just so glad that you finally came.  I was afraid that you didn’t want to see me and didn’t trust me because of my past with Odine.”

Squall sighed.  “It’s not that I don’t trust _you_ , it’s the people who…”  He cut his sentence off prematurely, checking his words.

“The people who ‘made’ me?”  Raine cocked her head as Squall nodded so slightly she almost missed it.  “I understand why you’re leery of my past, Squall.  From what your father has told me, and from what I know about Odine, he didn’t exactly have the best track record with our family.  I know he did a lot of bad things to a lot of people, Ellone included.  And Ash’s treachery and betrayal only heightened that feeling, I’m sure.”  She took a few small steps towards him, and was disappointed when he backed away.

“But I’m here now, and I have been dreaming of this moment since I found out about you.  I was so scared that you wouldn’t let me be your mother after all these years, and when you didn’t come to me right away; I’ll admit that I was extremely hurt.  The thought that you didn’t want anything to do with me nearly broke my heart.” 

Raine then smiled sweetly.  “And now, here you are.  I can’t thank you enough for coming here today.  I know it’s awkward—for all of us.  But I know in time, we can all work together and hopefully make a new family.”

Squall stared at her.  “Look, I still don’t know what to think about this whole situation, but Jane helped me to see this from your point of view, and made me realize that we both needed this.”

Raine looked at Squall with a hopeful expression.  “Jane?  Is she your girlfriend?”  The young man nodded, his cheeks flushing slightly.  “Well, I will have to thank her for getting you to see life from a woman’s perspective.  And I understand that you still have concerns.”

Squall got a stern look on his face.  “I want to be very clear, I still have a lot of suspicions about this entire matter, and I intend to exhaust every avenue to quell my reservations.  I can’t just jump into a situation like _some people._ ”  He looked to Laguna, who frowned slightly and rubbed his neck.  “I can’t promise anything, but I guess I hope we can work on _something_ at _some point_.”   Squall exhaled sharply. 

Raine smiled softly.  It wasn’t exactly the reception she had hoped for, but from interacting with Squall for this short amount of time, she could tell that this was a pretty normal response from the young man.  Just by listening to him speak, the vocabulary he used, she could tell that he was extremely military-minded and that she should take his rigidity with a grain of salt.

“I understand, Squall.  I know that getting to know each other won’t be easy.  After all, most children have their whole lives to get to know their parents, not to meet them when they are twenty-three.”  Raine was astonished by the words that had just come out of her mouth.  It still amazed her that she had a twenty-three-year-old son.

The trio stood silently for a moment, mother trying not to stare too much at son, before Laguna spoke up.  “So, Squall.  Wanna stay for a cup of coffee on the balcony?”  Raine could see the hopeful glint in her husband’s eyes. 

The young man turned to him, shaking his head.  “No thanks, Laguna.  I’ve got to get going.”

Slightly disappointed at the short visit, Raine lightly touched Squall’s arm, prompting him to recoil and give her a quizzical look.  “Will you come back soon?  And maybe bring Jane?  I’d love to meet the woman who won my son’s heart.”  She smiled hopefully.

“We’ll see.”  He nodded his goodbyes as he headed to the door.  “Laguna, Raine.”

Raine watched as her child left the apartment, the faint scent of his aftershave lingering in the air after he had taken his leave.  Laguna put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed lightly.  “See, I told you he’d come around.  And he did…kinda.”  He scratched the back of his neck with his free hand.

Raine sighed and wrapped her arms around Laguna’s midsection.  “He doesn’t call you ‘Dad.’”

“Yeah, he doesn’t really feel comfortable with that.  A part of me thinks he never will.  It bothered me at first, but not anymore.  I’m just glad I can be a part of his life, it doesn’t matter how he addresses me, really.”

“Do you think he’ll ever call me ‘Mom’?” 

Laguna sighed deeply, causing Raine’s head to rise and fall with his chest.  “I wish I could tell you, sweetheart, I really do.  I don’t want to sound like a jerk by telling you not to get your hopes up, but I don’t want to lead you on, either.  I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

“He’s a no-nonsense guy, isn’t he?”  She nuzzled her chin into Laguna’s shirt.  “But I am so glad he finally came to see me.  It feels nice to know that he doesn’t hate me, or anything.”

“That’s just his personality, you’ll get used to it.  He’s like that with practically everyone, even Jane sometimes.  Although she doesn’t take much of his angsty crap.”  Laguna chuckled.

“Is she good to him?” 

“She’s a perfect match for him, Raine.  If you think he’s ‘no-nonsense’ you should see her.  I have never in my life met a stronger woman, with the exception of you, that is.  She can be kinda brash at times, if you’re not used to her, but she’s got it where it counts…and I can tell she really loves him.” 

Raine closed her eyes.  “I’m glad he found someone that makes him happy.  He deserves nothing less.”

“I’m with ya on that one.”  Laguna pushed Raine away from his body and changed the subject.  “Well, now that you’ve met him and we don’t have to wait around hoping he’ll show up, how’s about a tour of the city?”  His voice had a sing-song to it.  “I’ve got a cool car…”

“Are you asking me out on a date, Loire?”  Raine had a playful look in her eyes.

Laguna immediately grabbed his left thigh.  “Uhhh, yeah, I suppose I am.” 

Raine laughed hysterically, fighting her guffaws in order to get a word out.  “You never cease to amaze me Laguna!  Even after all these years, you’re still nervous to ask me out!  That’s rich!”

He balanced on one foot, trying to massage his cramping leg.  “Hey, it’s been a long time since I’ve asked a woman out, cut me some slack!”

He extended his arm to Raine, who looped her own around his and allowed herself to be led out the door.


	39. Phoenix Chapter Thirty-eight

Phoenix:  Chapter Thirty-eight

                “How’d it go?”  Jane sat licking cream cheese frosting from her thumb.  She eyed Squall over the purple rims of her glasses. 

Squall passed around her at the breakfast bar, pausing to gently squeeze her shoulder.  “Fine.”

“That’s all I’m going to get from you?  Fine?” 

“Don’t start, alright?  He poured himself a cup of coffee and took a long sip.  He saw that Jane had set out a cinnamon roll for him already.  “It was okay, I guess.  She was definitely happy to see me, and she seemed to understand where I was coming from.  It was pretty awkward though, and Laguna just stood there with a dumb grin on his face the whole time.”

“What did she say?”  Jane poured some milk into her coffee and stirred it with her finger. 

Squall took a bite of his cinnamon roll.  “Just that she was happy that I came by and that she felt bad that I didn’t sooner.”  He sighed and looked up at Jane.  “She’s hoping that we can all get to know each other better soon, including you.”

 “I’d love to meet her, Squall.  But not until you’re ready.  I don’t want to step on any toes.”  She added more milk to her mug.  “What was she like?”

Squall thought back to Laguna’s living room.  She had been beautiful, just like the few pictures he had seen and the memories he had from Laguna’s past.  “She looked remarkably the same.  Sure, she’s aged somewhat, but she looked very vibrant and healthy.”

Jane rolled her eyes.  “That’s not what I meant.  How did she act?  Did she raise any red flags to you, _Commander?_ ” 

Squall knew where she was going with her line of questioning.  She wanted to know if some of his fears about her had dissipated.  “She was very pleasant, and no, I didn’t see any type of behavior that would indicate she had other plans.  She’s…nice.”

The young instructor smiled. “See?  I told you so.”  She sipped her coffee, then eyed him over the rim of the mug.  “Are you glad you went?”

Squall sighed, a small, almost unnoticeable smile touching his lips.  His voice was very quiet.  “Yes.”  Jane smiled from behind her coffee cup.  “Don’t misunderstand, I still have a lot of concerns about her past and you know me well enough to know that I don’t accept people at face value on the first meeting.  But…”  He hesitated.  He felt comfortable enough around Jane, and knew that she would never judge him for his feelings.  But this was _so_ personal, _so_ new of an emotion that he didn’t know if he even knew how to describe it.

“…but I guess I hope just a little bit that _in due time_ I can try and forge some sort of _something_ with her.”  He knew that sounded awkward, Hell, it felt weird just to say it.  But he knew that Jane would more than likely understand where he was coming from.  He felt relieved when she smiled.

“I’m happy that you took the leap and went to see her.  I think that this is the start of something great for your whole family.  Think about it, Squall.  You have the opportunity to have the family you were skunked out of as a child. It’s pretty cool.”  She looked at the microwave clock.  “Shit, I better get going.  I promised my Mom I’d call her at eight.  Sorry I have to duck out so quick.”  She rose, stuffing the last of her roll in her mouth, and raising her coffee mug.  “I’m taking this to go, okay?  Dinner tonight?”

Squall nodded and leaned over to kiss her across the breakfast bar.  “Yeah.  Let’s go out.”

“Oooh, a date?  What, are you trying to get lucky or something?”  She winked slyly at him.  “Call me later.”  She made her way to the door, sipping her coffee.

“Oh, and Jane?  Don’t tell your mom about…well, you know.”

She blew him a kiss.  “My lips are sealed, Leonhart.”

Squall watched her leave, genuinely disappointed to see her go.  He added a second roll to his plate and took it with him to the couch.  He put his feet up on the coffee table and set the plate down next to him.  He powered on his laptop and balanced it on his legs, trying not to spill coffee on it.  Scrolling through the morning’s news headlines, he was relieved to see that there was no mention of Raine or Laguna.  At least the press office had kept their word about nothing leaking. 

He thought for a moment just how and when the news would come out.  He knew Laguna’s press secretary was very good at her job, and would never let anything out without his permission.  Squall also was pleased that all Laguna’s staff was extremely loyal, and would never divulge anything to anyone that the president didn’t want known.  He took a bite of his breakfast, licking the frosting from his upper lip. 

He continued to peruse the news briefs, alternating coffee and cinnamon roll.  He found his mind  wandering back to that morning’s meeting with Raine.  Squall was relieved that it hadn’t been quite as awkward as he had imagined it being.  Sure, there were weird moments, like when she touched his arm.  He could tell that when he had recoiled at her touch that she was unsure how to react.  He wondered if Laguna had told her that he didn’t like to be touched, and if she had tried it anyway.  He figured at some point she would want more physical contact with him, but he wasn’t sure if he would be ready when it happened.  He didn’t even allow Laguna to embrace him that often, and he had known him for five years.  When he did hug Squall, it was always uncomfortable and stiff, the young man looking for any avenue out. 

After meeting her this morning, some of his reservations about Raine had lessened somewhat, although he still was concerned about Ash and anything he had been up to.  The fact that there was absolutely no information about the doctor anywhere, even in Odine’s records, didn’t sit well with him.  He had dealt with Odine enough to know that the little man had been capable of anything, and the fact that Ash had been an employee—that apparently didn’t exist—made Squall uneasy.

He knew Kiros would be working diligently to find anything about Project Perfect Phoenix and Ash, and that the instant he found anything the man would bring it to his attention.  He just had to have faith that Kiros’ digging would yield something.  For no matter how sweet and unassuming Raine had been, she was still an enigma to Squall, and until he had solid proof that there was absolutely nothing sinister going on behind the scenes, he had to keep his guard up. 

He just hoped that Kiros would find something soon, so he could move on with his life.

A new life.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Laguna and Raine circled the city on the outer roads in his luxury car.  The tinted windows obscured the bright colors of the buildings somewhat, but Raine didn’t care.  She was just happy to be with him.

“This is a nice toy, Laguna.  I’m guessing the window tinting is so you don’t get overrun by mobs of people?”  She had a silly grin on her face.

“You got it.  The members of my staff didn’t even want to let me have my own car.  Security reasons, you know?  But I guess I whined enough for them to finally cave.”  He smiled slyly.  “This baby is bulletproof, has a panic button that will have the police on my tail in a heartbeat, and even a heat shield that would protect the car from flamethrowers!  I suggested it be equipped with rockets, but Kiros said that would be a little extreme.”

Raine laughed.  She could just imagine the chaos that rocket launchers in the hands of her husband would produce.  “They were right to deny you, Loire.”

Laguna pulled the car off to the side of the road and into a small outlet overlooking the city.  “We can’t get out to see the scenery, but at least you can enjoy it from in here with me!”

Raine looked at Laguna quizzically.  “Why can’t we get out?  Security again?”

Laguna scratched his head.  “Well, kinda.  Kiros and my advisors told me not to get out with you.”  He looked like a child trying to cover up evidence.  “It’s just that, well…my office hasn’t made your “appearance” public knowledge yet.  And we probably won’t for some time.  I agree that I don’t want you to be seen yet, for all our safety and privacy.  If word were to leak out before we’re ready to let the world know, it would be crazy!  The press can be pretty vicious sometimes.”  He rested his hand on her thigh.  “I hope you’re not mad at me.”

Raine patted Laguna’s hand.  “Why would I be mad at you?  In fact, it’s the complete opposite. I’m so honored that you would want to protect me like that. And I totally understand why I need to stay hidden for a while.  It’s not every day that a dead woman comes back to life—and happens to be the president’s wife.”  She smiled in assurance at her husband.  “When we’re ready to tell the world about me, we’ll do it on our terms.  I’m enjoying this quiet time with you right now, and I know that once word leaks out about me, that quiet time will be harder to find.  Being the president’s wife is a pretty public life, and I’m ready to tackle it—in time.”  Raine could see the look of relief on Laguna’s face.

“You don’t know how happy I am to hear you say that, Raine. I thought for sure you’d be pissed that I had to hide you. I didn’t want you to feel like you weren’t ‘worthy of the lifestyle’, or something like that.”  He guided the car back onto the highway, and continued their circle tour of Esthar.  “When we get all this jazz figured out with Ash and Odine, then my office will release a press statement and we can officially recognize you as the First Lady!  Pretty cool, huh?”

Raine chucked.  Never in her dreams could she ever imagine herself as First Lady of Esthar.  It was a very foreign idea to her, but one she was willing to embrace. 

The pair continued their expedition around the bustling metropolis, with Laguna eventually turning onto city streets from the freeway.  He drove through Esthar’s expansive shopping district, Raine’s eyes bulging at the sight of all the enchanting stores.  They passed several women’s clothing stores, and it occurred to her that she didn’t have another change of clothes other than the ones she came in yesterday and the ones she was wearing. 

Laguna had stopped at a traffic signal, and she pointed out the boutique.  “Laguna?  That store over there sells women’s clothes.  I…”  She almost felt embarrassed asking for Laguna to buy her anything.  It felt as if she were taking advantage, even though she knew that was a silly thought.  “…I just realized that I don’t have anything more to wear.”  She looked at him hopefully.

He got a huge grin on his face.  “Raine, it would make me the happiest man on the planet to provide you with an entirely new wardrobe.  Only the best for my wife.”  He leaned over her to get a better look at the window of the store, which was adorned with the phone number.  Raine took advantage of Laguna’s position to scratch her nails across his back, as she remembered he loved.  He arched his shoulders, almost purring with pleasure.

“Oh Hyne, Raine.  You remembered just how I like my back scratched.”  He sighed contentedly.  “But you gotta stop…the light’s green!” 

She laughed and covered her mouth as Laguna sat up and drove through the intersection.  As he moved the car forward, he punched a number into the console computer of the vehicle.

_“Good Morning, thank you for calling Symphony of Elegance!  How may I assist you today?”_

“Yeah, hi.  This is, well, President Loire.”

A surprised inhale came from the other end of the line.  _“Um…what an unexpected surprise, Mister President.  I’m honored that you would call our establishment.  My name is Trina.  How can I be of service?”_

“Well, I’m in need of a wardrobe.”

There was silence on the other end.  _“A-a wardrobe?  Mister President, please don’t think I’m being disrespectful, but you **do know** this is a women’s store, don’t you?”_

Raine was trying so hard not to laugh as Laguna’s face began to turn crimson.

 “Wha…Oh geez!  It’s not for me!”  Laguna’s was white-knuckling the steering wheel with embarrassment.  “It’s for, uh, my niece!”

_“Oh, well that makes more sense, sir.  Is there something in particular you had in mind?  We have a fine selection of garments, ranging from every day wear to evening gowns.”_

“Well, I kinda need everything.”

_“Every…thing?”_

“Yeah.  Is there any way you could send a selection to the palace and she could choose what she wanted?  She wants a new wardrobe, and well…what are uncles for, huh?”

Raine was so excited to be getting a new wardrobe, and so touched that Laguna would go to all the trouble of having it delivered to her.

_“Of course, Mister President!  If you give us a few hours, we can get a selection ready.  What size does she wear?”_

Raine, knowing she had to keep quiet on the speakerphone, held up six fingers.

“Size six.”

_“We will get to work right away, Mister President.  We are honored that you would choose our store to provide such a gracious gift to your niece.”_

“Thank you, Trina.  _My niece_ will be very pleased.  Oh, and don’t forget to send shoes!  Size…”

Raine held up seven fingers.

“…Size seven, please.”

_“Expect the delivery by one this afternoon, Mister President.  And thank you again!  We really appreciate you choosing us to clothe your family.”_

Laguna disconnected the call and took Raine’s hand in his own.  “There, all set.  Now you don’t have to worry about walking around naked…unless you want to.”  A sly grin spread across his face.

“Laguna Loire!  I can’t believe that just came out of your mouth!”

Laguna turned red and shook his head.  “Me neither!” 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

The doorbell rang, and Raine’s eyes immediately lit up.  She hoped it was the delivery from the boutique.  Laguna motioned for her to wait in the den while the employees set up the selections.  She obeyed, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before she disappeared. 

While Laguna and the delivery crew set up the fashion show in their bedroom, she poked around the den, hoping Laguna wouldn’t mind her snooping.  She scanned the bookshelves.   Most of them were history and travel books.  She always remembered Laguna dreaming about travelling the world, seeing strange lands and meeting new people.  She was happy that his love of travel seemed to still be strong after all these years. 

She continued her tour, stopping at the recessed wall case that housed Mildred.  She reached her hand out and gently touched the cool metal.  She inhaled deeply, the scent of gun oil stirring up memories.  She remembered the first time Ash had shown her his pistol, and how the overpowering scent of the oil had brought her back to Laguna’s tiny home in Winhill for a split second.  He would sit on the kitchen floor, gun disassembled, painstakingly cleaning and oiling all the intricate parts.  It took him hours, and he dutifully did it twice a month, all part of his job requirements to be the “Monster Hunter of Winhill.”

She chuckled lightly as she thought of Ellone, and how she would follow Laguna around the town square, “surveying” the scene.  Even though the villagers would have never admitted it, Raine knew they were grateful that he protected them from harm.  She scowled, her mood souring as she thought of how the townspeople must have treated Laguna when he returned.  It broke her heart.  They were so cruel to not tell him about his child, and all because they were being petty and vindictive. 

Trying to lighten her mood, she made her way to the couch and sat down, reaching for the photo album they had left off with the night before.  She flipped it open, coming to an image of Squall.  The first thing she noticed was that he didn’t have his tell-tale scar.  Laguna’s blocky handwriting was scribbled underneath the photo. 

**_Squall, age 17.  Garden ID photo._ **

Raine wondered for a moment, just when he had received the injury.  She surmised it must have been during the war, since he was seventeen when he fought.  It pained her to think of him being marked for life like that, his precious face marred for eternity.  She smiled as she gazed at the image of her son with a pristine face.  Stern and unsmiling, she looked into his deep eyes, trying to gain any insight into him.  She could almost feel the pain of his solitary childhood, the years of emptiness and self-sufficiency.  She sighed and turned the page, looking for a happier image.

The next photo was Ellone, seemingly placing flowers on the ground in tall grass.  Upon closer inspection, Raine could see that she was setting the flowers down on a piece of stone.

A headstone.

Raine didn’t have to look any closer at the picture.  She knew whose grave marker it was.  She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to grasp at the image she had just seen.  Ellone had looked at peace, almost smiling.  It was as if she were just there to say hello, no sadness involved.  That thought calmed her emotions somewhat, as she had felt uneasy at the first sight of the photo.  There was just something weird about seeing your own headstone. 

She flipped another page and her mood shifted yet again.  It was Squall.  And he was smiling.

She could tell the photo had been taken candidly, without his knowledge.  He was looking away from the camera, only three-quarters of his face visible.  But the smile was unmistakable.  It was slight, but present. His eyes sparkled with an almost mischievous glint, much like she had seen in Laguna’s countless times.  She wondered who or what he was smiling at.  From what Laguna had told her, his smiles were few and far between. 

She sighed, feeling a sense of warmth wash over her.  It was nice to see him happy.  She hoped, in time, she could elicit one of those secret smiles for herself.

She continued turning pages, immersing herself in photos of everyone.  Laguna and Ellone standing in front of the Palace.  Ward holding Laguna upside down by his ankles.  Squall holding his hand up to the photographer in what seemed to be a gesture of “go away.”  All these images made Raine smile, and she was excited at the prospect that she soon would be in photos with her family.

She closed the album and set it back on the table just as Laguna came into the den.  “What’cha doing?”

She smiled sweetly at him.  “Just looking at more photos.  Are you ready for me?”

Laguna got a huge grin on his face.  “Almost.  The delivery guys just left.  We’re just waiting for our resident fashion expert.”

Raine smirked.  “If it’s Ward, I think I’m going to have to re-think this whole ‘new wardrobe’ thing.” 

“Believe me; you don’t want that guy giving you clothing advice.  He goes commando under those robes sometimes.”

Raine tried to shut that image out of her mind forever. “That was way too much information, Laguna.  Please don’t ever do that again.”

He extended his hand to her, laughing. “Yeah, I guess that was a little uncalled for.  Come with me?”

As the pair entered the living room, the doorbell chimed.  Laguna let go of Raine’s hand and answered it.  Kiros strode in, scarves and various handbags draped across both arms.  “I thought you might need some accessories.  We have too many in our house.”

Raine smiled with gratitude.  “I take it you’re the fashion expert Laguna mentioned?”

“At your service.  It’s nice to see you again, Raine.  How do you like Esthar so far?”  He approached the couple.  “Laguna isn’t driving you batty yet?”

Raine put her hand on her husband’s shoulder.  “Not yet. Although I got a loud reminder of why it was hard to sleep with him last night.”  She made a snoring noise. 

“Hey!  I don’t snore that bad!  And you used to talk in your sleep!”

Kiros chuckled.  “Come on, you two.  Let’s get to work.  We have a new wardrobe to try on.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Two hours had passed, and the state of Laguna and Raine’s bedroom indicated that either someone had been trying on mountains of clothes, or a fabric-bomb had gone off.  The bed and chairs were littered with blouses, skirts, jeans and dresses.  Laguna sat on the floor, smiling as Raine tried on the last of the clothing.

“I love this dress, but do you think the neckline plunges too deep, Kiros?”

The man walked in a circle around Raine, pulling at the hem, adjusting the capped sleeves.  “Not at all.  The fashion of today is a little different from that of Winhill twenty years ago.  I love it.”

Laguna just sat silently, letting the two “ladies” primp.  He smiled as Raine twirled in the garment, making the bottom of the dress puff out and float on the air.

“I’m just not used to such progressive clothes, that’s all.  My wardrobe back at the lab…”  She hesitated, scowling for a split second.  “…It was pretty, but nothing like this.”  She smoothed the front of the dress down and smiled at herself in the full-length mirror.

She turned around to face Laguna.  “What do you think?” 

He leaned back on his hands and cocked his head.  “I love it.  I love all of it.  It’s like they were all made for you.”

Raine got an embarrassed look on her face.  “Are you sure this isn’t too much?  I mean, it’s going to be awfully expensive.”

Kiros snorted as he folded and set aside the garments Raine had decided against.

Laguna rose, and put his arms around Raine’s slender waist.  “Hey, I’ve got more money than I know what to do with.  Since Squall never lets me buy him anything and Ellone already spends it freely, I didn’t have anyone else to spoil…until now.” 

“Thank you, Laguna.  You’ve made me feel like the world’s most beautiful woman.”

“Anything for you, Mrs. Loire.  I’ll let the laundry service know that they have a massive pile to come collect.”

Raine shook her head.  “Oh no you don’t.  No more laundry service for you.  We have a washer and dryer, right?”  Laguna nodded.  “I will wash my own clothes, thank you very much.”

Kiros laughed from across the room.  “You’d better not trust Laguna to do your laundry.  You should see the sweater he shrunk.  It looks like a child could wear it.”

Laguna shot Kiros a dirty look.  “Hey!  I got rid of that!”

“Yeah, well we ‘rescued’ it and are holding it in case we ever need to blackmail you.”  Kiros winked at Raine.  “Come by sometime and I’ll show it to you.” 

Raine buried her face in Laguna’s chest and began to laugh.  Her laughter abruptly stopped when she heard the doorbell.   Laguna let her go and pushed away.  He held up his finger, indicating for her to stay put.  “I’ll be right back.  Don’t go anywhere.”  He had a giddy smile on his face, the one Raine remembered him having when he was up to something.

While Laguna went to answer the door, Kiros and Raine sorted the new clothing to be washed.  They had just begun to hang the jackets in the closet when Raine heard soft footsteps along coming down the hall.  Raine turned as the door opened, and couldn’t believe what she saw.  She exhaled deeply, the name seeming to float like a melody on the air.

“Ellone…”

 


	40. Phoenix Chapter Thirty-nine

Phoenix:  Chapter Thirty-nine

                “Ellone…”

The young woman stopped just inside the door, her hands shaking as she held them across her abdomen.  She just stared, as if she was unable to process the sight before her eyes.  She took a few timid steps forward, bringing her hands up to cover her mouth.

“Elle, honey.”  Raine held her arms out, beckoning for Ellone to embrace her.  The young lady ran at her, throwing her arms around Raine and squeezing tight.  She felt Ellone’s body shake as she began to sob.

“Raine!  I can’t believe you’re really here.  When Kiros called I thought he was insane!”  Raine smoothed her hair down, nuzzling her cheek against Ellone’s head.  “Kiros tried to explain, but I’m still so confused.”  She pulled back, looking Raine straight in the eyes.  “I tried to convince myself the whole trip back that he made a mistake.  I didn’t want to get my hopes up that something so ludicrous could be true.”  Tears streamed down Ellone’s face, and she made no attempt to wipe them away.

Raine used her thumb to brush a lock of hair from Ellone’s cheek.  “It’s true, Elle.  I’m really here.”  She smiled sweetly and kissed her forehead.  “And I’m never leaving you again.  That’s a promise.”

Ellone leaned her head on Raine’s shoulder, just as she had when she was a little girl, and sighed.  “It’s like some sort of dream.  I don’t want to let go of you, Raine.  I’m afraid that if I do, I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone.”

“Your Uncle said the same thing.”  She had been dreaming of holding Ellone in her arms again since that night Ash had revealed everything to her.  The last time she had been this close to the young woman, her bulging pregnant belly had been in the way, the morning of Squall’s birth.  She reluctantly let go and held Ellone out at arm’s length to get a better look at her.  “Elle, you’re so beautiful.  Just like I imagined.  I can’t believe the last time I saw you, you were this high.”  She held her hand at her hip. 

Laguna came to stand next to his niece, putting his arm around her shoulder.  “Isn’t she gorgeous, Raine?  Just like her aunt.”  He winked at his wife.

Ellone blushed slightly.  “Uncle Laguna, you’re so sweet.  But I could never be as pretty as Raine.”  She held her hand out to Raine, who accepted it and squeezed tight.

“I think you ladies need to have some ‘girl time.’  I’ll get out of your hair so you can catch up.”  He motioned to Kiros to follow.  The two men left the room as Raine cleared a spot on the bed for them both to sit.

“Raine?  I’m so curious about everything, but I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk about your ordeal quite yet.”  She had such a sincere smile on her face, and Raine could tell that she was very good at her social work job.  The way she spoke, so calm and compassionate, made her instantly proud of the young woman before her.

Raine sighed and placed her hands in her lap.  “Thank you for understanding, Elle.  I will tell you all about it at some point, but it’s memories that I’d rather not relive at the moment.  I’m just so happy to be here with my family.” 

Ellone nodded with understanding.  “Well, if you ever want to talk about it, please don’t hesitate to come looking for me.  I’m a good ear to vent to.  After all, it is my job.”  She smiled a smile that Raine hadn’t seen in twenty-plus years.  In that instant, she ceased to see a woman in front of her and instead was gazing upon a four-year-old girl.  In Raine’s eyes, a part of Elle would always be that little imp, running around the tables in the pub and following Laguna around like a puppy.

“Tell me about yourself, Elle.  I want to hear absolutely everything.” 

The young woman made herself comfortable on the bed, sitting cross-legged across from Raine.  “Well, after you died…”  She stopped herself, almost as if she were embarrassed about what she had just said.

Raine made her feel at ease.  “Elle honey, I know about what happened after I left.  You don’t have to relive that stuff again, Laguna told me everything. I want to know about your life _now_ , as a woman.”  She smiled, and could instantly see relief in Ellone’s face.

The young lady reached for her purse that she had dropped on the bed when they sat.  She fished out her phone and brought up a photo.  She handed it to Raine.  “That’s Ryan.”

The young man in the photo was a handsome brunette, with sparkling blue eyes.  His smile was practically infectious.  “Elle, he seems wonderful.  Your Uncle told me how you two met, so you tell me about your life together in Esthar.”

Ellone accepted the device back and set it next to her on the bed.  “He’s so wonderful, Raine.  He’s a schoolteacher here in the city, second grade.  The kids love him.  He and Uncle Laguna get along great, and even he and Squall hang out every once and a while.  I can’t wait for you to meet him.” 

“Do you two live here in the palace?”

Ellone snorted.  “If Uncle Laguna had his way we would.  When I first came to Esthar I did, but after Ryan and I got back from Dollet I decided I really wanted to live on my own.  Needless to say, Uncle Laguna got very protective and only agreed to let me go on the condition that _he_ get to pick my apartment.  I know he was just trying to keep me safe.”  She smiled again.  “We finally settled on a place within walking distance from here.  I don’t think Uncle Laguna would have let me get away with moving any further.”

Raine was overcome with emotion upon hearing how protective Laguna had been.  She expected nothing less from him.  “Do you spend a lot of time with Laguna?”

Ellone smiled broadly.  “You bet.  I like to surprise him in his office every chance I get, and he takes me out on a “date” once a month.  He’s like the father that I never got to have.  I love it, and I love him.”

Raine sighed, elated that Laguna and Ellone had such a wonderful relationship.  She did feel badly that he and Squall didn’t share the same feelings for one another; at least Squall didn’t seem to. 

“Will you tell me about your wedding plans?  When are you going to get married?”

Ellone held out her hand, and Raine couldn’t help but notice a sparkling diamond on her ring finger.  “We really haven’t set a date yet.  He proposed a few months ago, but we’ve both been so busy with our jobs that it kinda went to the back burner.  I guess now that you’re here, I will have some help, huh?”  She had a hopeful glint her eye.

“Of course I will help you!  I didn’t want to step on your toes if you had already started planning.” 

“Well, you’re the mother of the bride, Raine!  You have to help!”  Ellone got a distant look in her eyes.  “It just hit me that you’re really here.  You’re actually going to help me with my wedding plans.  You know, when Ryan proposed, one of the first things I thought of was that I wished you could be here to see it all.  I know it was supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life, but I couldn’t help but feel a little sad.  But now here you are, for real!  And my dream can come true.”

Raine put her hands over her heart.  “I am so honored that you would call me ‘mother of the bride.’  I used to dream about what you would be like as a woman, and you haven’t deflated my dreams.  You are a wonderful woman, Elle and I want nothing more than to see you and your brother happy.”

Ellone wiped tears from her eyes.  “You’ve always been my mother in my eyes. You took care of me when there was no one else.  Even though we didn’t have much time together, I learned how to be a strong and caring woman from watching you.  I tried all these years to model myself after you, hoping you would be proud.”

“I am proud, Elle.  I couldn’t have wished for a better life for my children.”  Raine looked down at her hands clasped in her lap and exhaled deeply.  “Elle?  Can I ask you about Squall?”

Ellone nodded.  “Of course!  He _has_ come to see you, right?”

“Yes, this morning.  Finally.”

“Finally?”  Ellone looked confused.  “You mean he didn’t come right away?  That stubborn Grendel.”  Ellone’s fists clenched in her lap. 

Raine shook her head.  “Please don’t be upset with him.  He has some reservations about my past, and I understand where he’s coming from.  He’s just worried that Odine or Ash did something to me that will make me turn against the family. He’s being cautious, please don’t hold it against him.” 

Ellone nodded her head, exhaling deeply.  “I’ll admit that I don’t fully understand how you came back to us, and my mind definitely doesn’t work like Squall’s.  I guess the military man in him sees the world differently than we do.  But I can’t believe that he would think you were out to hurt us.”

“I know, honey.  It hurt me when I heard what he thought.  He is entitled to his opinions though, even if they are painful to hear.  But I’m confident that he will come around.” 

Ellone arched an eyebrow.  “Well, he can be pretty stubborn.  It might take a lot of work to convince him.”

“Kiros and your Uncle are working on that, rest assured.”  Raine sighed and looked at Ellone.  “Is he happy?  He just seems like such a serious person, I’ve only seen one photo where he was smiling.”

Ellone smiled sweetly.  “He’s happy, Raine.  Sure, he has a really tough job that makes him crankier than a Wendigo sometimes, but he really is a wonderful person. Once he feels comfortable around you.”  She pursed her lips.  “You have to understand, he didn’t have the best childhood.”

Raine’s eyes sunk as she hung her head. 

Ellone immediately grabbed Raine’s hands.  “I didn’t mean it to sound like it was your fault.  It wasn’t.  He grew up learning how to fight, to strategize, and to take care of himself without needing anyone else.  And part of its just the way he is.  I think that had he grown up with you as a mother, he still would be stoic and aloof at times.  It’s just his nature.  We’ve all learned to deal with his “Squall-ness” and in time you will too.”

Raine had to laugh slightly.  “There’s that word again, ‘Squall-ness’.”

“It’s a very accurate description of his personality.”

“So I’ve been told…and seen firsthand.”  She sighed.  “I just hope that he can come to accept me.  I know it will take time—a lot of time, but I just want to be his mother.  He deserves that.”

“Yes, he does.  And he’ll come around.  It will take time though.”

Raine looked at the clock next to the bed.  It was almost five o’clock.  “Will you help me start dinner?  I hope you’ll stay…and ask Ryan to join us.”

Ellone smiled massively.  “You’ll have to wait a bit longer to meet him, I’m afraid.  He’s in Timber right now at a bachelor party.”  Ellone rolled her eyes.  “Who knows what kind of trouble he’s getting into.  But it would be my dream come true to help.  What are we having?”

“How about baked salmon?  After all, it was your favorite as a child.”

Ellone got tears in her eyes.  She rose and she and Raine walked hand in hand towards the kitchen. 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

The restaurant was loud and boisterous, patrons yelling at a hockey game on one of many big screen TV’s.  Just a year ago, Squall would have never been seen at such an establishment, he hated the noise and crowds.  But since meeting his little spitfire, he found himself frequenting places like this more often, and not minding so much.  As long as the company was good.

Jane screamed at the game, raising her beer in the air. “Are you fucking kidding me?  That so totally was NOT high-sticking!  He’s hardly bleeding!”  She flipped the bird at the TV before turning her attention to Squall.

“It’s just a game, Jane.”

She looked at him with wide eyes, mouth agape.  “Just a game?  It’s the playoffs, Leonhart.  That penalty could very well cost us the game…and the championship.”

Squall smirked from behind his pint glass. He loved it when she got fired up.  She was so animated in everything she did:  she taught with passion, made love like a tiger, never seemed to have a dull moment in her life.  Jane was fun to be around, plain and simple.

She screamed again, this time emphasizing her anger by slamming her fist against the table.  “For the love of Hyne!  That penalty has now resulted in a power-play goal.  I give up.”

Squall snorted, shaking his head.  “Now I remember why I try not to piss you off.”

“Very funny, Squall.  You know, I’m _really_ angry now, so you should probably try to cheer me up.”  She batted her eyes and pointed to the menu, tapping her finger on the image of a piece of chocolate cake smothered in strawberries, chocolate sauce and ice cream.

“You do know that’s, like, two-thousand calories, right?”

Jane smirked.  “Well, I guess you just have to help me _work it off later_.”

Squall ordered the dessert and the pair sat and watched the game while they waited.  Fortunately, Jane’s team scored twice more and won the game with only seconds to spare.  Squall was relieved that he wouldn’t have to accompany a Blue Dragon back home instead of his girlfriend. 

The waitress brought their cake, and Jane immediately dug in.  With a mouthful of cake and fruit, she asked a very out of the blue question that Squall was not expecting.

“So, what kind of relationship do you think you’ll want with Raine?”

Squall put down his fork, and stared at his tiny girlfriend.  He didn’t know how to answer her.  He sat silently for a moment, trying to decide whether or not to answer honestly or with sass.

“I don’t know.”

Jane rolled her eyes.  “I figured you’d say that.”  She took another bite of cake.  “Don’t you want to at least try and get to know her on a more personal level?  I think it would benefit you both to spend more time together.”

Squall was becoming irritated.  She had a point, but he didn’t like hearing it when he still had a lot of concerns about Raine’s past.  A part of him, deep inside, did want to forge a bond with her.  After all, he had never had a proper mother.  But he was still so unsure about what had happened with her in the last twenty-plus years, and he just couldn’t let it drop.  Not yet. 

“I don’t know what else to tell you.  She’s only been here for two days.  You can’t expect me to jump in like Laguna did.”  He poked his fork around in the melting ice cream. 

Jane patted his hand.  “I understand that it’s been a really hard couple of days.  And I can’t say that I would be jumping in all gung-ho either.  But you have to want _something_ with her.” 

Squall sighed.  “I want to be able to trust her.”

Jane’s face turned compassionate.  “I can’t imagine what it feels like to not be able to trust my mother.  I’m sorry that you have been thrown this wacky situation, but I know that you are a strong man and you’ll find the answers you’re looking for eventually.”  She stroked the top of his hand with her index finger, tracing the thick veins underneath his skin.  “In time you’ll be able to find a good balance with her, and with Laguna.  Who knows, maybe this whole thing will end up helping your relationship with him, too.”

He knew she was right.  Even though she had the devil’s mouth sometimes and could be a little brash and bawdy, underneath all the electricity she hid a sensitive woman, who cared deeply for her loved ones.  She always made him see the bright side of life, and coaxed him out of his shell when he retreated.  Of all the people close to him, she knew him the best, and for that he was grateful.

He watched as she picked the plate up and licked the remaining chocolate sauce from the surface.  When she put the dish down, he had to chuckle.  “You’ve got a little something on your nose.”

She crossed her eyes down, trying to get a better look.  “Oops!  I couldn’t help myself, that sauce was to die for.”  She tried to lick it off her nose with the tip of her tongue.  When she wasn’t successful, she wiped it with a napkin. 

“You always brighten my day, Jane.”

She smirked.  “That’s why I’m here.  Well, that and the fantastic sex.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Laguna and Raine lay in bed, the soft glow of Esthar illuminating the room.  The evening had been delightful.  They shared a wonderful meal with Ellone, catching up and reminiscing about old times.  Laguna had tried to get a hold of Squall, but wasn’t surprised when he didn’t answer.

The faint sound of cars on the street below began to lull them to sleep.  As he lay with Raine tucked in close against his body, he suddenly remembered that he would have to actually go to work in the morning.  He frowned, not wanting to leave Raine alone so soon.

He nudged her, even though he could tell by the rhythm of her breathing that she was almost asleep.  “Raine?  Are you awake?”

She stirred, groaning slightly and turning her body to face him.  “I guess I am now.”  He could sense the annoyance in her voice. 

“I just realized I have to go and be the president again in the morning.  That means you’ll have to be here by yourself during the day.”  He smoothed her hair.  “Are you okay with that?”

She opened her eyes and smiled.  “Of course I’m okay with it.  You have a job to do.  Esthar needs you.”

“Raine, you’re amazing.  I thought you might be just a little upset that I was leaving you all by yourself already. I didn’t want you to feel abandoned.”  He sighed.  “Hyne knows I would much rather stay at home with you, but the cabinet and I are working on some trade negotiations with Trabia and…”

Raine stopped him.  “You don’t have to explain yourself, Laguna.  I understand how important your job is, you don’t have to justify it when you need to leave me.  Besides, I have plenty to do.  I plan on trying to make some sense out of all these beautiful new outfits you bought for me.  They all have to be washed and put away.  And Ellone took the afternoon off, so she’s coming over.  I won’t be alone the whole time.”

Laguna was relieved.  He knew she would be safe in the Palace, and that Ellone would keep her company.  Once the trade agreement was taken care of, he vowed to himself to take a bit of time off.  Kiros _was_ always telling him that he needed a vacation.

He kissed the top of her head and held her close.  “Goodnight Raine.  I love you.”

Raine’s voice was laced with sleep.  “I love you too, Laguna.  Forever.”


	41. Phoenix Chapter Forty

Phoenix:  Chapter Forty

                “Laguna, you really don’t have to keep calling.  I’m fine.” 

_“I know, I just miss you, that’s all.  Is Elle there yet?”_

Raine stood in front of their bed, where various pieces of clothing were sorted into piles and ready to be washed.  She held the phone against her ear with her shoulder as she took the tags off of a silk blouse.  “Laguna, I told you she would be here around noon when you called _ten minutes ago._ ”

_“Oh yeah, I guess I forgot. Are you sure you’re okay?  You’re not lonely are you?  Do you need me to come home?”_

Raine sighed as Laguna prattled on.  He was so sweet when he was nervous.  “I’m fine, Laguna.  You had better get back to work, or the people are liable to impeach you.”

_“Okay Raine.  Call if you need anything, alright?”_

“You’re just looking for any excuse to get out of working today, aren’t you?”

_“Yes ma’am.  I’ll call you later, okay?”_

Raine laughed.  “I’m sure you will.  Now get back to work!”  She hung up the phone, knowing that it wouldn’t be long before she heard his voice again.  He had been calling every ten minutes or so since eight am.  It was now ten o’clock.  She briefly thought of ratting him out to Kiros, but she relished in the fact that she was able to hear his voice at all. 

She scooped up a pile of delicates and took them to the laundry room.  She had to laugh when she saw that the both the washer and dryer looked suspiciously unused.  It amused her to think that someone else washed the president’s “unmentionables.”  She opened the cabinets in search of detergent.  When she had exhausted all the places it could possibly be hiding, she accepted the fact that Laguna had never used the appliances. 

She felt proud as she realized she would beat her husband to the punch on his next call.  She headed into the kitchen, grabbing an apple from a bowl as she sat down and dialed the phone. 

_“Raine?  Is something wrong?”_

She smiled, taking a bite of her apple.  “No, nothing’s wrong.  I figured I’d give you a taste of your own medicine and call you for a change.  That, and you don’t have any laundry detergent.”

Raine heard him exhale with relief.  _“You scared me!  I thought you were in trouble or something.”_

“Well, I am sort of in trouble.  I can’t wash any of my new clothes.”  She twirled her hair around her finger.  “You’re busted, you know.  There’s no detergent, which means I know for a fact that you have never used your washer.”

_“Heh.  You got me on that one.  I’ll have David get some right away.  Need anything else?”_

“Nope, that’ll do.  And look, now you don’t have to call me in ten minutes like I know you were planning to do.”

Laguna laughed on the other end of the line.  _“Am I that predictable?  Well, too bad.  Anyways, I have a meeting in ten minutes that will keep me occupied for at least two hours.  I’ll call you after, okay?”_

“That sounds great.  I sure do love you, Laguna Loire.”  She disconnected the call and tried to decide what to do next.  She briefly contemplated walking the short distance down the hall to Squall’s door, but she figured he was at work and decided against it.  She would call on him another time.

Finishing her apple and discarding the core, she suddenly felt the urge to bake.  There were few things in life that made her happier than being in the kitchen creating wonderful dishes.  She pulled a recipe up from memory, a Spice Cake that she knew Laguna would love.  She began humming a cheerful tune as she went hunting for the ingredients.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Kiros thought he would try one more time.  He had all but exhausted every avenue in search of any information about Ash. Odine’s records yielded nothing, and there was no mention of him within the Science Ministry.  Kiros really didn’t expect to find anything, but he needed to try every option.  From what Raine had said, Odine had sent them out into the desert when the two doctors realized she had been Laguna’s wife.  Because of that connection, Kiros figured Odine had essentially erased Ash’s existence from his records to sever all ties with him.  He didn’t even seem to have any family still alive that could shed any light on him, but he had one more option.

Accessing the databases for all the large colleges around the world, he finally got a hit with Dollet University.   He punched into the cached student files from years back.  Kiros typed in Ash’s name, and there he was.  It seemed Odine hadn’t gotten rid of all evidence pertaining to him.  He scrolled down, scrutinizing his records.  The man had graduated near the top of his class with honors.  His coursework was impressive, studying all areas of psychology, with an emphasis on hypnosis.  He had even done field work with subliminal messaging.  He seemed like he had been a very talented doctor. 

Kiros accessed another cluster of files, this time finding his personal and medical records.  Ash seemed to have been in good health during his time at the University, and had showed no abnormal tendencies or behaviors during his mandatory physical and psychological exams.  Kiros was hoping that the records from the University’s medical files would have given him a clue into Ash’s mind, letting him have even a tiny morsel of insight into the man, be it good or bad.

He sat at his desk, and once again began poring over the Project Perfect Phoenix files.  The research fascinated him, even though it had been performed on someone very dear in his life.  He was astounded that Odine had pulled off such a daring and extreme experiment.  He was very impressed with the dynamics of it all, from the chemical compounds used to the sheer fact that Odine had kept it all a secret.  The slimy rat certainly had power during his life.

He had been reading Ash’s notes on from their first session again, trying to glean any information he could from them.  The thing that stuck out most was the liner notes Ash had scribbled in the margins.  They were so compassionate and sympathetic. 

_“Raine seems so sad.   I want so badly to help her, to bring her memories back.  She deserves nothing less.”_

_“I feel bad that Raine’s first experiences here were with Odine.  I know she doesn’t trust him.  I hope in time she will come to trust me.”_

_“I have never met a sweeter, kinder person in all my days.  I have to make this work.  I must get her memories back for her.”_

He also came across a phrase, circled for emphasis. 

“ _We are waiting for the manager to give us passage.”_

According to the session notes, Raine had dreamt about a fire within a store, and the occupants had said the cryptic message to her.  He flipped to the next page, not paying it too much attention.  Kiros knew that these notes were made before Odine banished them, before they found out about her ties to Laguna.

Even after looking over notes from sessions after they had been sent to the desert, Ash’s intentions still seemed to be honorable.  He was always trying to find a way to help her access more memories, even though he would have known at the time that there was no way Odine would ever have let her free. To Kiros, Ash had been a man of integrity, and even though he would have never been allowed to let her go, he still truly wanted her to regain her memories.  Kiros knew how ruthless Odine had been, and he figured the tiny doctor had threatened Ash within an inch of his life not to ever divulge anything to Raine.

_“Today’s session yielded some fantastic results!  She remembered a man, although she does not know his name.  She seems to think they might be married, though.  Progress!”_

A thought occurred to him then, and he flipped quickly to a new set of notes. He was surprised when some loose papers fluttered out from the folder, notes he hadn’t seen until now. These ones were dated much later, and Kiros was instantly intrigued by what he saw.  He remembered when he had first read through the files, noting a change in Ash’s tone, but had chalked it up to mental changes from being in the desert all alone for so many years.  Now, after reading his earlier writings again, along with these new findings, warning signs began to pop up.  He noticed Ash’s notes had taken a darker tone to them, and were no longer compassionate.  He had written things about Laguna in a negative aspect, as if he were jealous or vengeful against him.  He had even come across some phrases that were borderline psychotic. 

_“She dreamed of him again last night.  I used to feel sad that we lied to her about Laguna being assassinated.  Now I just want him gone from her mind.  He keeps taking her further and further away from me.  I deserve her, not him.  And it makes me happy knowing that he will never have her again.”_

_“Coming for you, Mister President.”_

_“They’ll pay for taking her heart from me.  They’ll see.”_

Kiros tapped his fingers on his desktop, deep in thought.  Ash had fallen in love with Raine at some point, and was jealous of the fact that even “in death”, Laguna still held her heart.  But he didn’t think that alone would be enough to make a man have ulterior motives.   He figured something else must have happened to make him go from caring to vindictive.  He needed to find out what had caused such an abrupt change in his mental state.  Kiros decided to plan a trip out to the lab complex when he had a free moment to steal away from the city.  Perhaps he would find something that had been overlooked by the authorities. 

Hopefully he would have something to report to Squall soon.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX             

 

Squall tossed and turned, kicking the sheets away from his body.  His sleep had been fitful all night, his brain refusing to shut itself down. Although he had tried not to, all he could think about was Raine.  Their meeting kept playing over again in his mind, and he was dissecting it, trying to find any sort of hint that something amiss.  He mentally scrutinized her body language, her tone of voice and eye contact.  He never imagined he would be using his SeeD training on how to read people on his dead mother.   He wanted to be able to trust her, to allow her more access into his life.  Hell, he just wanted to be able to be in the same room with her and not feel uneasy.    Frustrated, he turned to look at his clock, annoyed when it turned out to only be one in the morning.  He was exhausted and his body was crying out for rest. 

Jane usually helped him sleep, but she was in her own apartment, halfway across town.  He sighed, rolling out of bed.  He went to his dresser and pulled open the top drawer.  Tucked away under a pair of long underwear that he never wore, was a small velvet box.  He held it in his hand for a moment before cracking the lid open.  The sparkling diamond ring inside caught the small amount of light filtering in through the blinds.  He took the golden band from its box and twisted it between his fingers, allowing the set gem to twinkle in the ambient light of the room.  It was a simple piece of jewelry, no adornments or extra additions.  Just a solitary marquis-cut stone, weighing a tiny bit over one carat.  He knew Jane was a no-frills kind of gal when it came to jewelry, and wouldn’t want anything else on the ring to take away from the brilliance of the stone.

He sighed and placed the ring back in the box, carefully replacing it back in the hiding place under the flannel pants.  He had purchased it over a month ago, but still hadn’t found the courage to ask for her hand.  His brain kept screaming at him to not be such a coward and just ask her, but his personality sometimes got the better of him.  He had been alone for so long, with the exception of his two-year relationship with Rinoa, and a part of him was still having difficulty coming to terms with the thought of spending his life with another person.  He truly loved Jane, and knew that she reciprocated those feelings strongly.  He didn’t have any doubt about her answer; he knew she’d say yes.  She’d been dropping subtle hints for the last month that she was more than ready to be “Mrs. Squall Leonhart.”  There were only so many bridal magazines covertly left out on her coffee table that he could pretend not to see.

_Then why the hell are you chickening out?  What more is there to think about?  Ask her already!_

His mind was made up.  He gave himself an ultimatum.  There was a charity ball coming up in three weeks to benefit the Esthar Garden Scholarship Program for War Orphans.  He and Jane would be in attendance, and Laguna had been invited.  He didn’t know if the older man planned to attend or not, but if he did, Squall doubted Laguna would come alone.  Raine would more than likely accompany him.

 If he didn’t propose by then…he’d have to call Laguna “Dad.” 

That was enough of a scary thought in his own brain to almost make him want to run to his car and speed off to Jane’s door at that very moment.

Squall looked longingly once more at his bed, knowing full well if he lay down he wouldn’t fall back to sleep.  He decided to make a cup of tea Jane had bought for him, for occasions such as this.  He hated the acrid taste of the beverage, but he was so exhausted that he would try anything to be rewarded with sleep.  He padded into the kitchen, enjoying the cool tiles felt under his bare feet.

When his tea was properly steeped, he plunked himself down on the leather couch and flipped the television on.  He rolled his eyes when the first thing he saw was syndicated reruns of _Married, With Feathers._   It was an incredibly stupid sitcom about a woman who married a Chocobo. 

And of course, it was Laguna’s favorite show.

He surfed the channels, stopping briefly to watch one of Zell’s favorite shows, _Idiotic-ness_ , where the producers aired videos of people doing completely moronic things like roller-skating down flights of stairs, or drinking lemon-lime soda and eating bananas until they vomited.  He watched because it reminded him of his boisterous friend, not because it was entertaining.  Although, he did laugh when a young man leapt out from behind a corner wearing a Malboro mask, scaring his girlfriend so bad she dropped an entire bowl of punch.  He made a mental note never to do that to Jane.  She knew karate.

He sipped his tea, flitting around nearly all two-hundred channels of Esthar’s cable system.  Fishing shows.  Infomercials selling pet clothing.  A sci-fi movie about giant metallic spiders.  Trabian Mesmerize-wrangling semi-finals.  He couldn’t believe some of the garbage that was on in the wee hours of the morning.

Squall finished his tea just as the clock turned two.  He could feel his eyes beginning to droop, and was pleased that the tea had actually done what it promised to do.  He leaned his head back, resting it on the plush top of the cushion.  He told himself he would just close his eyes for a minute, and then make his way to bed.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_“I know you’re here, so you had better show yourself!”_

_Squall carefully peered out from around a corner, gunblade in hand.  The room was dark and every surface was covered in a thick layer of dust.  He pushed his back up against the wall, making sure he wasn’t leaving himself open to an attack from behind.  He felt as if he were being watched._

_“I’m going to find you one way or another, so you better just surrender now.  Then maybe I won’t kill you.”   He waited for a response, but was met with total silence.  He turned his blade a fraction of an inch, trying to see around the corner in the reflection.  Just as he was about to move, he saw a dim shadow slip behind a statue of a nameless Sorceress in the blade’s mirror-like surface._

_He smirked, knowing that the direction the phantom had moved lead one way.  Whatever it was had trapped itself._

_He snaked along the wall, keeping his body flush with the smooth wood paneling.  He felt something tug at his leather jacket and stopped abruptly.  He turned to see a small nail sticking out from the wall, and scowled when he noticed that it had ripped a hole in his garment.  The jacket can be repaired, he told himself.  He had to keep moving or he would risk losing his track on the target._

_Squall moved along the hallway the specter had disappeared down and quickened his pace when he heard a pained moan coming from the room at the end.  The giant crystal door was cracked open slightly, allowing an eerie red glow to spill out into the dark hall.  He nudged the door open wider with the tip of his gunblade, using it once again as a mirror to peer into the chamber.  When he saw that nothing was in the immediate area, he pushed the door open completely._

_His feet were immediately kicked out from underneath him by an unseen force, Lionheart swept aside and flung across the marble floor.  It came to rest under a statue of Ultimecia.  Squall looked up at the effigy, noting that the eyes glowed with an inhuman green light, as if it were alive._

_“So, you’ve come…finally.”_

_Squall tried to get up, but felt as if he were being pinned down by hundreds of weights, unable to move his limbs. The burden on his body was so great that he was having trouble taking breaths._

_“Who…who are you?”_

_A sinister laugh echoed from high above him, bouncing off the walls.  He could hear footsteps on the balcony encircling the room, slow and steady.  The faint light of the room barely kissed the upper floor, making it possible for him to only make out a silhouette.  The figure rounded the corner and began to glide down the steps with grace.  As it approached, he could see it was clad in a flowing gown, the head capped with a glittering crown of jewels._

_“I’m offended, Squall.  Don’t you recognize your own mother?”_

_He grunted as he tried to break free of whatever force was holding him to lift his head.  The pressure was so great the he felt as if he would lose consciousness at any moment.  His eyes were beginning to glaze over and it seemed as if a layer of cheesecloth had been placed over them, making it difficult to see clearly.  The face of the creature came into the light of candelabra at the bottom of the staircase._

_It was Raine._

_“You…you’re not my mother.  My mother is…”_

_The figure raised her hand and Squall was instantly lifted into the air and thrown back against a marble column.  He could feel several of his ribs break upon impact.  He sputtered a tiny amount of blood from his mouth as he fell to the ground._

_“What were you going to say, my son?  That I’m dead?”  She began to laugh as she seemed to float towards him, no feet touching the ground.  She hovered above him for a moment, then bent down to stroke his cheek.  “How can you say that when I’m right here?”_

_He looked up at her, trying desperately to keep his eyes open.  He could feel the encroaching blackness of unconsciousness closing in on him.  He somehow managed to bring himself to his knees, battling against the unseen force that was trying to press him back to the ground._

_Raine raised her hand, palm open, and it was immediately engulfed by a fiery-orange glow.  With a flick of her wrist, she hurled the ball of flames at him, sending him flying once again at the column.  His body was pinned by tendrils of flame, forming into restraints at his wrists and ankles._

_The fire began to singe the fine hairs on his arms, but didn’t seem to burn any deeper.  Even though there was nothing there, it felt as if someone had grasped his throat and was squeezing.  He gasped as he felt his windpipe begin to give under the tremendous pressure._

_“Wh-why are…you…d-doing…this?”_

_Raine smiled, exposing sharp fangs within her mouth.  “You don’t believe me.  You don’t trust me.”_

_Squall’s eyes began to flutter shut as his brain became deprived of oxygen.  He fought to keep himself from going out.  “Y-you’re…n-not…my moth…”_

_Raine cocked her head and smirked, her eyes shining with a strange iridescence.  “Your heart lies to you.”_

_Suddenly, her other arm shot up, retractable claws jutting out from her fingertips.  She plunged the hand deep into his chest, turning it as the razor-edged talons sliced into the flesh.  He heard his ribs cracking, felt the pressure of her invasion.  His head lolled to one side, fresh blood trickling out of the corner of his mouth.  He felt as if he were about to take his last breath._

_She removed her hand, and held something close to his face.  He could hardly see, but felt the warmth of the object radiating against his cheeks.  His eyes weren’t obeying anymore, rolling back into his head of their own accord.  He just wanted to die._

_“Son.  Open your eyes.  I have relieved you of that which was telling you untruths.”_

_He forced his eyes open, and saw that she was holding his heart in her hand.  He watched as it burst into flames and disintegrated into a pile of ash.  She let the cinders fall through her fingers onto the floor.  His eyes closed and he pleaded for release…_

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

 

Squall startled awake, clutching at his chest.  He expected to still be in that horrid room, with that specter.  It took him a moment to take in his surroundings and realize that he was safe in his apartment, the soft light of the sunrise just beginning to peek over the horizon. 

He sat forward, hanging his head between his legs.  It took him a few moments to catch his breath and calm down. 

Squall had never had such a terrible nightmare.  His whole body was trembling, and he couldn’t get his eyes to focus.  He tried to wrap his head around what he had just experienced.  He was utterly confused.  Dreams weren’t supposed to make sense, he knew that.  But this one was horrifying.

And it didn’t help quiet his suspicions about Raine one bit.

He stumbled towards his bathroom, hoping a cold shower would shock his body back into reality.

 

 


	42. Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-one

Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-one

                Raine was amazed that only five days had passed since she had left the lab complex.  It seemed like she had been in Esthar for twenty years, right at Laguna’s side.  Nothing felt foreign or strange, she adapted to her new life without so much as a hiccup.  Every day she woke with the sunrise to find herself in the same bed with her husband.  She made him breakfast as if she had been doing it for decades.  She kissed him goodbye as he went off to be the President, one of the only things Raine still had trouble wrapping her head around.  It was truly surreal.

The only damper on her happiness was the fact that her son hadn’t attempted to make any contact with her since their first and only meeting three days prior.  Raine knew he was fighting some mighty demons that had surfaced since her return, but was still hurt that he didn’t show any interest in communicating again. 

She had been puttering in the kitchen most of the afternoon and had successfully re-arranged the cabinets to her liking and baked a batch of delicate lace cookies.  She began to feel slightly tired and decided to sample the fruits of her labor along with a cup of coffee.  A good book on the couch sounded fantastic.

When her beverage was ready, she piled several of the small pastries on a plate and made her way into the gigantic living room.  She placed her plate on the table and snuggled under a light blanket on the couch.  She popped a cookie into her mouth, savoring its light lemon flavor.  Reaching for her book, she settled down into the corner and became engrossed in the world of Centran Mythology.  She had taken the book from Laguna’s expansive library, intrigued because she had never read anything on the subject before.  Laguna had mentioned that Jane had a deep knowledge of Centran History, and Raine felt it might benefit her to learn about the subject.  Plus, she liked the picture of the cover.  The image was of Odin, mighty and strong atop his steed. 

She sat for more than an hour, immersing herself in the grand myths of the ancient Centrans.  Her eyes were just beginning to droop when she heard the front door swish open.  She turned to see Laguna, who had something in his hand.  Raine looked to the clock. 

“What are you doing home this early?”

Laguna got a sheepish grin on his face as he kicked off his shoes in the entryway.  He immediately hid the object behind his back.  “Can’t a guy come home early and surprise his wife?”

Raine arched an eyebrow.  “Sure…but he raises suspicions when he’s hiding things behind his back.”

Laguna reached down and gently massaged his left thigh.  “Hey, I’m the president.  I can do whatever I want.”  He smiled broadly.

Raine patted the couch cushion next to herself and raised her cookie plate so Laguna could see it.  “Want a treat?  They’re really good!”  Sure, she wanted him to come and sit down because she had missed him, but part of her also wanted to see what he was hiding.  She knew she could entice him with cookies.

He rounded the couch, still trying to work the cramp out of his leg.  When he sat, he quickly kissed her, and then placed the small object in her hand.  It was a box.

“Open it.”

Raine looked at him quizzically.  She turned the box over and over in her hands for a moment before cracking the lid.  Her eyes fell upon the most beautiful diamond and emerald ring she had ever seen.  The round stone had to be over two carats, flanked on either side by smaller emeralds.  It was all set on a thin silver band.  Her hands were trembling as she looked up from the box to meet Laguna’s eyes. 

“It’s beautiful, Laguna.  But why?”

He took the box from her hand and removed the ring.  Taking her left hand in his, he slipped the delicate band onto her ring finger.  “It’s an engagement ring.”

Raine snorted, wiping the tears from her eyes.  “Laguna, we’re already married.”

“I know, but I couldn’t afford to get you a proper engagement ring the first time around.  Now that I can, I wanted you to have one.”  He had the same look on his face that he had over twenty years ago in the field, one of hope and devotion.

“Oh Laguna, I don’t know what to say.  You are the sweetest man I have ever met, and I don’t think I could love you any more than I do right now.”  She held her hand up and twisted her fingers around, watching the stone catch the light. 

“Well, if you love me now, you’re gonna flip in a second.”  He had a devilish grin on his face as he produced another small box.  “Open it…again.”

She obeyed and this time found a plain silver ring, much like the original one Laguna had given her twenty-four years ago.  She immediately began to cry, unable to stop her tears of joy.

“I couldn’t find your real wedding band when I went back to Winhill, but this one is almost identical.  It does have _one_ difference though.”  He took the band out of the box and handed it to her.  “Look on the inside surface.”

Raine squinted to see what he was talking about.  There, in small script, was an engraving.  She wrapped her arms around Laguna’s neck tightly when she saw what it said.

**_My love for you is eternal._ **

“I hope you aren’t upset that I couldn’t find the original one.  I looked, I really did.”  He nuzzled his chin into her long hair.

Raine backed away from their embrace, holding the band out for Laguna to take.  He carefully slid it onto her finger, next to the engagement ring.  “Laguna Loire, you are a hopeless romantic, you know that?”   She held his hand in her own, tracing her finger over his wedding ring. 

“I wanted you to feel complete.  I thought these rings would help it feel more official.”

Raine wiped her eyes on the blanket that was across her lap.  “They’re perfect, Laguna.  But I didn’t need rings to cement my love for you.”

“Hey, every woman deserves something sparkly!  Besides, it was kinda fun picking it out.  Ward came with me.  He’s quite the knowledgeable man when it comes to diamonds.  Don’t ask me why, though.”

Raine tried to imagine the scene with a goofy president and hulking mute in a jewelry store.  She became confused when she tried to figure out just when he had found the time to sneak away and purchase the ring.  “Wait a minute, when did you get this?  I thought you were in trade negotiations these last few days.” 

Laguna scratched his head and stalled.  “Uhhh, well…I kinda fibbed about just how long the talks would take.  I was proud of myself though, it only took me an hour to pick it out.”

Raine smiled and cupped her hands around Laguna’s cheeks.  “Good choice, Loire.  It’s beautiful.  And I’ll even forgive you for stretching the truth a little bit.”

He held up his hand, reminiscent of that night on the grassy hills outside of Winhill.  His own silver ring glinted as he smiled.  “Forever, Raine.  I promised you that the day we got married.  And I meant it.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Squall tossed the thick binder containing this quarter’s SeeD budget on his desk, where it landed with a thud.  He pinched the bridge of his nose to try and stave off the headache pounding behind his eyes. A flash of annoyance tore through him when the phone rang.  For the hundredth time that day.

He was even more aggravated when the caller ID had identified the person calling as Laguna.  He didn’t really want to deal with him today.  He briefly contemplated pretending he didn’t hear the phone ring, but knew that the man was very persistent and would keep calling.  Or he would show up at his door unannounced later.  Squall took his chances and picked up the receiver.

“Hello Laguna.”

_“Hey Squall!  What’s up?”_

Squall rolled his eyes at Laguna’s exuberance.  “Entirely too much.  Did you want something?”

_“No.  Not really.  I just called to see how you were.  You haven’t come by since, well…you know.”_

“I’ve been busy.”

_“Oh.  Well, your mother was wondering if you would like to come by for dinner tomorrow.  She really wants to talk to you more.”_

Squall could hear the hopeful tone in Laguna’s voice.  His inwardly cringed when the Laguna referred to Raine as “his mother.”  He didn’t doubt that it was her now, but he still was having trouble thinking of her in that way. 

“Maybe some other time.  I already have plans.”  At least that wasn’t an out-and-out lie.  He did have a date planned with Jane—one that involved bug guns, bigger explosions and tons of blood.  He loved that she got so excited about super-violent action movies.

_“Oh.  Okay, I get it.  Well, don’t forget about us.”_

Squall blew out a breath.  He didn’t need Laguna laying a guilt trip on him.  It was bad enough his feelings about the situation were making him feel guilty as it was.  He just wasn’t ready to see her again, and certainly not ready to have an in-depth conversation. 

“It’s just a really bad time, Laguna.  All SeeD applications are due by next Friday, which means everyone and their brother is rushing to get them in.  My desk looks like a file cabinet blew up.”

_“You don’t have to explain yourself, Squall.  I know how busy you are.  Maybe next week, huh?”_

Squall could hear the disappointment in Laguna’s voice.  “Look, I really have to get back to work.  We can talk about this later, alright?”

_“Sure.  See ya later, Squall.”_

Laguna ended the call, leaving Squall sitting in silence in his office.  He replaced the receiver back in the cradle with an exasperated sigh.  He could hear the hurt in Laguna’s voice; he knew that by avoiding Raine he was hurting them both.  But he still didn’t feel comfortable around her, and pushing him certainly wasn’t going to make him feel better about it faster. 

“Fuck this.”  He closed down his computer.  He knew there was no way he would be able to get any more work done today.  He decided he would go home and cook something comforting for dinner.  Maybe that would get his mind off of everything.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

She stood in the hallway, nervously wringing her hands together.  She desperately wanted to ring the chime, to see him again.  But at the same time, she didn’t want to invade his privacy.  It was obvious that he wasn’t ready to see her again.  He had been avoiding contact since that first meeting.  She knew that Squall had turned down her invitation to dinner the next day, so she decided to reach out by appearing at his doorstep.

Raine took a deep breath and told herself not to overthink things.  She exhaled and made up her mind that she was just going to do it.  Ring the bell.  If he was home, he might let her in.  If he didn’t, she’d try again another time. 

There was no knowing what would happen if she didn’t at least try.

She pushed the small glowing spot on the key pad and waited.  When she didn’t receive an answer, she depressed the button one more time, giving herself one more chance before she went back home.  She was just about to turn and walk away when the door swished open, revealing Squall with a large butcher’s knife in his hand.  He had a very surprised look on his face.

“Hi Squall.  Your Dad is taking a nap, so I decided to pay you a visit.  I hope that’s alright.”  She had a very hopeful smile on her face.

He just stood there for a moment, silent.  After a long and somewhat awkward moment, he finally spoke.  “I guess.”

Not the answer she was hoping for, but not a surprise, either.  He was, after all, a very quiet and stoic man.  “Can I come in?”  She hoped he wouldn’t turn her away.

He pursed his lips and scowled slightly.  Raine had to stifle a smile.  He sighed and answered, with reluctance in his voice.  “Yeah, sure.”

Raine inwardly beamed.  She was so excited to finally see where her son called home, to get a better look at his day-to-day life.  She crossed the threshold and was immediately bombarded by the incredible aroma of baking chicken.  “Something sure smells good in here.  I take it you like to cook?”

He closed the door behind them and nodded silently.  She could tell he was very uncomfortable with the whole situation.  “I, uh, have to finish cutting these potatoes or they’ll turn brown.”  He motioned towards the kitchen with his knife. 

She followed him, quickly looking around the rest of the apartment as she walked.  The furniture was black leather, accented with silver rivets.  The lamps were also silver in color, and all the tables were glass.  It was definitely a much different environment from her home with Laguna.  Where their apartment was warm and inviting, Squall’s was very efficient and sleek, much like her son.  It fit his personality perfectly. 

She made her way to the kitchen, following behind him like a duckling.  He extended his hand to a barstool at the breakfast bar, where she seated herself.  “Do you want something to drink?”

She smiled at him.  “No, thank you.  Thanks for inviting me in. It really means a lot.”

He didn’t answer; instead he turned back to the cutting board and finished with his vegetables.  Raine sat silently for a moment, just watching him.  His behavior fascinated her.  She found it interesting that he was so incredibly indifferent, almost bordering on rude.  She had a hard time believing that he would actually just stand there and cut potatoes instead of talking to her.  But, then again, she knew about “Squall-ness,” and this behavior seemed to be perfect proof that it really did exist.  She decided to break the ice.

“Look, Squall.  I know this is weird for us…for all of us.”  Raine could see his shoulders tense as she spoke.  It probably wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but dammit he was going to hear it.  She needed to get this off of her chest.  “But I just want to get to know you.  I missed out on the first twenty-three years of your life.”

He put his knife down on the counter and hung his head with a sigh.  “I know that this whole situation isn’t your fault.”  He turned to face her, arms crossed over his chest.  “But you have to understand where I’m coming from.  I have a lot of reservations about what those two did to you.  I don’t know anything about Ash, but I dealt with Odine enough in my life to know that he was capable of anything.  I just don’t know what to think yet, alright?”

Raine nodded with a small smile.  “I get it.  I really do.  From the first moment I met Odine, I didn’t trust him either.  And Ash?  Well, I know now that I shouldn’t have trusted him.  But during all those years with him in the desert, I didn’t know any different.  I can tell you this, though.”  She clasped her hands together on the countertop.  “I don’t think anything wonky went on.  Ash never said anything weird, never acted strangely.  I think his only crime was keeping me there and lying.”

Squall cocked his head.  “There.  Lying.  He lied to you about everything, kept information from you.  Who’s to say he didn’t hide more?  _That’s_ what I’m getting at.  We just don’t know.”   He exhaled deeply.  “I really do want to make this work, honestly.  It’s just…”

Raine could see that he was grappling with his emotions.  She almost felt bad for putting him on the spot by showing up unannounced, but at the same time she could hear his raw feelings now, as he didn’t have time to think about his answers beforehand. 

“You have to understand how I grew up.  I learned to do everything for myself.  Sure, Garden kept me fed and gave me a place to live, but I learned to take care of myself because I _had to._   I didn’t have parents.  I didn’t even know Laguna existed until during the war, and sure as Hell didn’t know he was my father until I was eighteen.”    He ran a hand through his hair.  “Don’t misunderstand; I’m not blaming you for dying, or anything.  But I spent my entire childhood feeing abandoned.  Thankfully the GF’s helped me forget most of why I felt that way.”

“GF’s?”

“Guardian Forces.  They help in battle, make me stronger, more agile.  But, a side effect is memory loss. I didn’t even remember that I had been in an orphanage until during the war.  I had even forgotten about Sis.  Until she reminded me rather forcefully.” 

Raine sighed, and willed herself not to cry.  It broke her heart to hear about his lack of a childhood from his own lips.  “I’m so sorry you suffered as a child.”

“Don’t be.  You can’t be sorry for something you had no control over.”

“I still feel guilty.”  She rose and rounded the breakfast bar, coming to a stop next to her son.  Squall stiffened slightly and moved a few inches away from her.  Raine took a deep breath and did something she had been longing to do again since their first brief meeting, and hoped his reaction would be different this time.

She put her hand around his forearm.

He surprised her by not pulling away, although she did feel his muscles clench and stiffen at the contact. 

“I can’t change the past.  No one can.  And I know that you are a grown man, with an extremely dangerous and difficult job.  I realize that you don’t need your Mommy to tuck you in at night and comfort you if you scrape your knee.”  She squeezed his arm gently.  “But I desperately want to be part of your life.”

He turned to look her in the eyes, and she could feel the piercing blue go directly into her soul. 

“For years I had no memory of anything.  I didn’t know my last name, where I came from.  I woke up in that hospital room with nothing.”  She sighed heavily, the memories weighing upon her.  “And I worked for years to finally get bits and pieces of anything I could grasp. When I finally remembered that Laguna was my husband, I was lied to.  To hear that your husband is dead is probably the most terrible news a woman could possibly hear.”  She paused to wipe a few stray tears from her cheeks. 

“I remembered you, you know.  I had a vision about your birth, and the fact that I realized that I was a mother made me the happiest in the world.  Even though I didn’t know what had happened to you, I dreamed all the time that you were happy and safe.  You know, I didn’t even know your name until last week.”

Squall hung his head, and Raine could tell that his emotions were starting to get the better of him.  She desperately wanted to reach out and embrace him right then and there, but she knew he might not react well to that.  “When Ash told me the truth, the only thing I could think of was a reunion.  Even though I was furious for being lied to, the thought of seeing you and your father again kept me sane.  I knew that it would only be a matter of time before I could hold you in my arms again.”

Squall raised his head again and nodded.  “I understand you were hurt, and I am truly sorry for everything those bastards did to you.  And I’m glad that you see this situation from my perspective, also.”

Raine smiled softly.  She believed she had finally gotten through to him.  “I know this won’t happen overnight, but I just want to be your mother again.”

“I won’t lie; I still have a lot of reservations.”  He averted his eyes, breaking contact with Raine’s.  She could tell that his feelings had embarrassed him. 

“I know, Squall.  And I understand one-hundred percent.  I will admit that it still hurts a little to know that you still have some feelings of doubt, but I know that in time, you’ll get the answers you’re seeking and we can all move on.”  She clasped her hands over her heart.  “But you must believe me when I say that I have no nefarious intentions.  I would never hurt you, your Dad or your sister.  I just want us to lead as normal of a life as possible together.  We were all robbed, and it’s time to be a family again.

Squall nodded.  “It’s not going to be easy for me, but I guess I can try to make this work.”

“That’s all I ask.”

Squall blew out a breath from puffed cheeks. “Okay.” 

Raine patted his arm once more and returned to her seat.  “Do you mind if I stick around and keep you company?  I’d love to hear more about you, if you would humor me.” 

He turned back to his cutting board, picking it up and dumping the vegetables into a pot on the stove.  “Whatever.”

Raine smiled warmly.  She was touched that he didn’t ask her to leave, and that he seemed more willing to possibly share information about himself.  “So, what are you making?”

He ignited the gas burner and added what appeared to be chicken stock and cream to the pot.  “A chicken pot pie.”

Raine exhaled with delight.  “A man after my own heart.  That’s one of my most favorite things: to make and eat.  We’ll have to compare recipes sometime.”

He didn’t answer, instead stirred the contents of the pan before lowering the heat to a simmer.

Raine realized she was going to have to work very hard to get anything personal out of him.  She decided to start slow.  “So, tell me about your job.  Laguna tells me you’re the Commander?  Sounds important…and dangerous.”

Squall turned back to her and leaned up against the counter.  “I oversee all of the SeeD officers and operatives.  My job is to accept missions on behalf of Garden, then assign them to the most qualified agents.  We mostly do mercenary work, but have been known to help out communities in need and restore civil peace when the call arises.”

“Mercenaries, huh?  You mean you’re paid to kill.”  Raine’s face fell into a small frown.  She didn’t like the idea of her son being a hired goon. 

“Sometimes.”  Squall’s voice was stern and commanding.  “As long as the price is right.”

“Have you ever…”  She stooped herself, unsure if she wanted to know the answer, although she could surmise since he had fought in a war that he had taken his fair share of lives.

“Have I ever killed a man?  Of course.”  His eyes were emotionless.  It made Raine feel somewhat uneasy that he didn’t show any sort of reaction when he spoke of killing people.  She was unsure if she wanted to press the subject, but decided she needed to know more about what was going on behind those azure eyes.

“Don’t you feel bad?”

Squall sighed, and suddenly his eyes betrayed him.  They looked sad.  “Of course I feel bad.  Every one of those people had a family, someone who would miss them.   But in the heat of battle, it’s a ‘him or me’ mentality, and I’ll be damned if I’m going home in a body bag.  You learn to deal with it and push those feelings aside.  Thinking compassionately while you’re looking down the barrel of a gun or have a knife at your neck will get you killed.”

Raine recognized the vigor in his answer.  It was the Leonhart blood talking.  Her father had the same intensity about him, and would have probably given a very similar answer to her question.  It bothered her though, to think of her son taking lives, and that he seemed almost nonchalant about it.  No mother ever wants to hear that her son has killed countless people, be it during war or peace time.  She decided to change the subject, as she was beginning to feel very sad for Squall.  She knew it was his job, and that he had chosen his life path.

She sighed.  “I think I’ll take you up on that drink now, if you don’t mind.”

He went to the refrigerator, and offered her a few choices.  She settled on a glass of orange juice.  “Do you do anything else at Garden?  Somehow I can’t see you being content sitting behind a desk all day.”  She smiled slyly.

“I try not to be in my office too much, although I’m not that lucky.  I do teach two Gunblade classes, one to beginners and an advanced level course to SeeD cadets.  That, and I go out on missions when I can.  Although, my high-profile name and appearance make that difficult sometimes.”  Raine noticed that he had looked up towards his scar to emphasize his point.  “This thing makes me an easy target.  Everyone instantly recognizes me.  That means no covert work.”  He pouted slightly, prompting Raine to smile.  He seemed disappointed that he wasn’t able to do as much field work as he would have liked.  She could tell he was passionate about his job, but that he missed being just a “regular SeeD.”

“How did you get that?  If you don’t mind me asking?”   She pointed to his forehead.  His brow furrowed and Raine could tell he was starting to close up again.  It was becoming apparent that it was a subject he didn’t like to talk about.

“It’s nothing.  Just a training mishap.” 

Raine sensed that there was much more behind those eyes, but that he was unwilling to tell her about it.  She decided to drop the subject for now, not wanting to ruin their time together by making him more uncomfortable than he already was. 

“You mentioned Gunblades.  I’m curious as to why you chose such a difficult weapon to use.  Those things are legendary for being very hard to master.”

A miniscule smile graced his lips, almost undetectable.  She could instantly tell he was proud of his weapon.  “You answered your own question.  I chose it because I knew it would be the ultimate challenge.”

There it was again.  The Leonhart blood coming through.  No one in her family, herself included, ever backed down from a challenge or let something get the better of them.  Of course he would choose the most demanding weapon out there to make his own. 

He surprised her then, making an offer that she never saw coming.  “Would you like to see one?”

She was consumed with happiness.  He seemed to be coming out of his shell just a bit, even if it did take weapon-talk to do so.  “I would love to.”

He moved towards the living room, motioning for her to follow.  They went down the small hallway to a door with a key pad.  He punched in a few numbers and the door slid open.  He motioned with his hand for her to enter.

The kid had his very own armory.

Raine held her breath for a moment, taking in the sheer incredibleness of the room.  Even though it was a small space, there were Gunblades mounted on every inch of wall.  Each one seemed to be suspended by nothing, hovering in what appeared to be custom-designed cubbies.  She counted six in all, and   there was also a case lying on a table in the middle of the room, adorned with a symbol she recognized right away.

Griever.

The Leonhart family had chosen that symbol as their insignia over a hundred years prior.  Their choice had been based in bravery, as the lion was the most courageous beast that ever roamed the planet.  She was overjoyed that he had also chosen that representation for himself.  She wondered if he had been given the family pendant and ring, or if it too had been lost to time. 

“This is incredible, Squall.  Have you used all of these?”

He nodded and approached the leather-covered case.  He flicked the latches open and raised the lid, exposing the grand weapon inside.  He removed the blade and held it out in front of himself, allowing Raine to see its full glory. 

Raine stood in awe at the sheer bulk of the gunblade.  It was as long as his entire torso, and glowed with a brilliant blue light.  It looked like it was extremely heavy, but he seemed to hoist it with ease onto his shoulder. 

“This is Lionheart.”

_Lionheart.  What a fitting name._

“It’s incredible, Squall.  I’ve never seen anything like it.”

He smirked slightly, obviously proud of his weapon.  “That’s because it’s one of kind.”

He placed the weapon carefully back in its case and secured the latches.  As his fingers moved, Raine caught a glint of silver on his right-middle finger.  She immediately felt butterflies in her stomach.  She brought her hands to her mouth with a surprised inhale, causing him to whirl around at the sound.

“You have it.  You have Griever.”  She pointed to the ring on his finger.

He cocked his head slightly, surprise on his face.  “How do you know that name?” 

She moved towards him, gingerly reaching for his hand.  He recoiled slightly but did not pull his hand back when she took it in her own.  She tapped the ring, relishing in the fact that she could see it once again.  “This ring.  Griever?  It was your great- grandfather’s.  He gave it to me when he died, and I guess someone had at least a little bit of heart to give it to you when they sent you away.  There was a pendant, too.”

Squall’s eyes lost their contact with her own and seemed to stare to the side as he reached inside his collar and pulled out a chain.  Raine’s eyes began to tear up as the saw the shining lion around her son’s neck.

“I can’t believe you have that, too.”  She released Squall’s hand in order to wipe her eyes.  “Did they tell you that the name was Griever?”

“No.  I made it up.  I couldn’t tell you why I chose the name, though.”

Raine felt overwhelmed.  She really didn’t believe in a lot of hocus-pocus or an afterlife, but she couldn’t help but wonder if the faeries had somehow told Squall about the uniquely named Lion.

“Well, your great-grandfather would be proud to know that his brave and powerful grandson was keeping the Leonhart name alive and respected.  Thank you for keeping these heirlooms safe.”

Squall tucked the chain back into this shirt.  “Do you want them back?  I mean, they are yours after all.”

Raine shook her head.  “Absolutely not.  They belong to you now.  Just promise me that you will pass them on one day to your own children.”  She saw his face flush slightly at the mention of kids.  It tickled her to think that she might one day be a grandmother.  Raine looked at her watch, noting that it was almost four in the afternoon.  “I had better get back, or your Dad is liable to turn the palace upside down looking for me.”

Squall got a quizzical, almost mischievous look on his face.  “You mean you didn’t tell him you were leaving?  He’s going to go crazy.”

“I left him a note.  Besides, if he’s anything like he used to be, he takes his naps quite seriously.  He won’t be awake for at least another hour.” 

She exited the room, Squall following close behind.  He led her to the front door, where she stood silently for a moment, clasping her hands across her abdomen.  She very badly wanted to hug him.  After their time together today, she still didn’t know how he would react.  Sure, it felt like they had made progress, but she could tell by his body language that he was still having difficulty processing the situation.  He had been gracious and polite during her visit, but she also sensed that he was hesitant and not quite sure how to proceed. 

She begrudgingly decided not to embrace her son.

“Thank you for letting me stay.  And for allowing me into your life just a little bit.  It means the world to me.”

Squall shifted his weight to one foot and sighed.  “You’re welcome.”  He was hesitant with his words, as if he wanted to say more but couldn’t articulate properly. 

Raine left, turning once more to address Squall before the door closed.  “Oh, and I don’t care what Kiros and Laguna say.  You look just like your father.”  She waved as the door slid shut, and didn’t see him roll his eyes at the mention of the man.

She walked to her own door, and before going in put her back up against it and closed her eyes.  She had actually had a conversation with him that lasted longer than five minutes.  And it had been wonderful.  She could still hear his voice in her head, smooth and strong.  Raine felt a huge smile tug at her lips, and she couldn’t help but feel at peace. 

This was the start of the life she had dreamed of for so long.


	43. Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-two

Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-two

**One Week Later**

                _“…Breaking news out of the Presidential Palace this morning as word has come down that Press Secretary Jorden will be having a press conference scheduled for nine-thirty this morning.  No official memo regarding what the conference will entail has been released, although several news outlets have been speculating.  The President’s lack of public appearances this past week has some reporters guessing if his health is a factor, or if he is considering retirement.  President Loire is known for being a ‘President of the People’, and his absence from the limelight last week could be taken as concerning.  We will bring the conference to you live as it happens.  This is Esthar Channel Five news…”_

“Well, they certainly like to jump to conclusions, don’t they?”  Raine sipped her tea and shook her head at the newscast.  “You’d think they actually wanted something to be dreadfully wrong with you.”

Laguna shoved a piece of toast into his mouth.  “They can’t get rid of me that easy.  Those vultures are always looking for some kind of dirt.  I guess they’ll get the story of the century today.”  He smiled, his eyes twinkling.  He tapped Raine’s hand lightly.  “Are you sure you’re ready for this?  Life’s gonna change for you…again.”

“I couldn’t be more ready.  I am one-hundred percent prepared to be the First Lady of Esthar.  If they’ll have me.”  Apprehension touched her voice.

“The people will love you.  I’m sure of it.”  He rose and placed his plate and coffee cup in the dishwasher.  “Are you okay with what will be said today?  I mean, that she isn’t going to mention Odine or Ash?”

Raine sighed.  She didn’t like hearing those names.  “The press release that Samantha is going to read is alright with me.  I would love it if the people could hear the true story, but I understand why we can’t just go and drag Odine’s name through the mud. I know that he did a lot of wonderful things for the city, but in my mind he will always be a liar. Even if it isn’t the whole truth, I’m sure they will have a lot of questions for her.  And us.”

Laguna stood behind his wife and gently began to massage her shoulders.  “Sam is the best at her job.  I trust her to only say what we have authorized her to say.  She’ll do it right, and she won’t let those hounds get the better of her.  I admit that I don’t like keeping things from the people.  After all, they trust me as their leader because I’m always honest with them.  But I agree that leaving Odine and Ash out is the best course of action.  What the people don’t know can’t hurt them.”

Raine reached up and patted one of Laguna’s hands.  “I know she’ll do a great job.  It is still hard to talk about and hear, but I agree that the people need at least a tiny explanation.”  She sighed and looked off to her left, gazing at the Esthar skyline.  “Although a little part of me is bummed that she won’t come right out and say that Odine was a deceitful rat.  I would really like his career to be sullied posthumously.”  A mischievous grin graced her lips.

“Raine Loire, you’re a little devil.” 

She sighed as Laguna sat next to her.  “I know it sounds evil, but even though he technically gave me my life back, he also stole precious moments from me.  That is time I can never get back, and I hate him for it.  That, and all the lies.  I wish the people could understand just how horrible he truly was.”

Laguna tapped his fingers on the countertop.  “I know you hate him, and so do I.  But the majority of the citizens still love him dearly.  I hate to say it, but he did play a pivotal role in saving this city--twice.  People tend to overlook the other stuff because of that.”  He picked a piece of bacon off of Raine’s plate and took a bite, which prompted her to kick him softly.  “A lot of his secret projects, when they came out, went ignored by the people.  It was like they stuck their fingers in their ears and said, ‘I can’t hear you!  La-la-la!’”  He demonstrated, causing Raine to chuckle.  “ It’s hard for me to have to put on a smile and talk about him like he was some kind of saint or savior.  But, I have to do it ‘cause I’m the President.  At least you know that I hate him as much as you do.”

Raine kissed him on the forehead and got up to clear the dishes.  “Thanks, Laguna.  You always know how to calm my nerves.  Or get on them.” 

“It’s my job.”  He checked his watch.  “Hey, it’s almost show time!  C’mon leave those dishes and come watch with me.”

“Shouldn’t we be there?  After all, this _is_ my coming out, isn’t it?”  Raine looked confused.  She had dressed up for the press conference.

“All will be revealed, Raine.  All will  be revealed.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX 

 

“Thank you all for coming.  If you’d all take your seats we can begin.”

The press pool obeyed Secretary Samantha Jorden and took their seats.  The woman was tall and slender, her face stern.  She was no-nonsense when she spoke and never let the reporters bully her into a corner with their questioning.  Rustling her papers on the podium, she cleared her throat and began to speak.

“As you all have noticed, the President has been out of the public eye this past week.  I have heard all of the rumors as to why he has been absent, and I can gladly tell you that everyone is wrong.  He isn’t dying, nor is he planning to retire.  I can’t believe this is coming out of my mouth, but he has also _not_ been abducted by aliens.”

A quiet murmur spread throughout the room, along with a few chuckles.

“The President and his family want to share some incredible news with the world today.”  She tapped the papers together on the stand.  “Last week, President Loire was informed that his late wife, Raine was in fact, alive.”

The group of reporters all inhaled in unison.

“It seems that shortly after her death, she was taken to a science facility and in a stunning clandestine experiment—resurrected.  As a side-effect of the process, she had no memory of who she was, where she came from or what had happened to her.  The scientists in charge of the project had no knowledge of her ties with President Loire at that time.  In fact, it was before he became our leader.  She lived her life for over twenty years unaware of who she had been.  Slowly, over time she was able to recall some of her memories, including her first name.  But most of her past eluded her.”

Secretary Jorden took a moment to hush the crowd with a wave of her hand. 

“Recently, she regained all of her memories as a result of a head injury, and the scientists immediately reunited her with the President, their son, Squall Leonhart, and niece Ellone.”

One of the female reporters in the crowd fanned herself at the mention of the SeeD Commander’s name.  The whole group was feverishly writing down the Secretary’s words, all chomping at the bit to be the first to ask a question.

“The President and First Lady, as she is to be called from here on out, will make their first official appearance in one week’s time at the SeeD charity ball.”

A photo appeared on a screen behind the Secretary, Laguna and Raine smiling warmly, his arm tight around her waist.  “This is the official photo from the Office of the President.  A copy will be sent to all news agencies by the noon hour. I will now open the floor to questions.”

The reporters began yelling to the Secretary, all trying to get her attention. 

“ _Madame Secretary, who was responsible for such an incredible experiment_?”

Secretary Jorden adjusted her glasses.  “A group of privately funded scientists.  They wish to remain anonymous.” 

_“Secretary Jorden, does Mrs. Loire intend to make herself available for media interviews any time soon?”_

“Not at the moment.  She is still adjusting to her new life, and wants to enjoy this time privately.  As soon as she decides she is ready, my office will begin the scheduling.  There will be a ‘red carpet’ of sorts at the SeeD ball next week where you will be allowed to photograph her, but any questions asked will not be answered at that time.  And before anyone asks, the press is not allowed inside.”

_“Sam, how does the President feel about the fact that his wife was experimented on?  Does he feel any animosity to the scientists for keeping her hidden away for so long?”_

Secretary Jorden knew this line of questioning was coming.  “He is overjoyed that she has been returned to the family.  The scientists who headed the project were completely unaware of her identity until her head injury.  As soon as they authenticated her identity, she was reunited with the family.  President Loire holds no animosity towards the scientists.  He commends them for doing the right thing in bringing Mrs. Loire back.”  She hoped that would be a sufficient answer.  Even though she was prepared to elaborate if need be, she would rather not continue to stretch the truth.

_“Ms. Secretary, How does Commander Leonhart feel about finally having a mother?”_

“Mr. Leonhart is happy, as is the whole family.  Let me take this time to remind you that if you have questions for the Commander, do not contact his office.  Anything you would like to ask needs to come to me, just like always.”

_“Where was she being held these last twenty-plus years?  Were the Galbadians behind it?”_

“As I said earlier, the scientists wish to remain anonymous.  I can tell you that the Galbadians are not involved, though.  The location of the lab is also being withheld, at the request of the team involved.  They want their privacy, and I hope you all can respect that.”

_“Does she like Esthar?”_

A smile spread across the Secretary’s face.  “She loves it.  She hopes to step out and see more of the city very soon.”

_“Secretary Jorden, this project seems very complicated and fantastical; almost something that Doctor Odine would have dabbled in.  Did he have any ties to the experiment?”_

The Secretary stood firm, showing no emotion whatsoever.  She knew his name would pop up eventually.  “No.  Doctor Odine was not involved.  Like I said previously, this project was privately funded by sources outside of Esthar.”

_“Secretary, do they have any plans to return to Winhill soon?  If memory serves, Mrs. Loire is from that area, correct?”_

“It is possible that they will travel there at some point.  The president’s schedule is very busy and doesn’t allow a lot of time for leisure.”

_“Samantha, what sort of role with the First Lady play in the Presidency?”_

“She is a very compassionate and caring woman, and I’m sure she will no doubt find a charity or organization to work with.  She has already mentioned working with her niece, Ellone, to help war orphans.  I can take one more question.”

_“Madame Secretary, does anyone have any suspicions about the intent of the scientists or Mrs. Loire herself?  I mean, it’s not every day that a woman just comes back to life and waltzes into the Presidential Palace.  Has it been proven that she is actually Raine Loire?”_

Ms. Jorden squared her shoulders and spoke.  “No one has any doubts as to her identity.  Medical data confirms that she is indeed Raine Loire.  As for the scientists, they are a very trustworthy group and we have no reason to believe that they had any intent other than to resurrect and help a woman get her memories back. They were successful, and hopefully they can take their knowledge and help countless others around the world who have lost loved ones before their time.  The fact that they reunited her with her husband immediately upon confirming her identity is testament to their collective conscience.  They have received the President’s eternal gratitude.”

The press pool erupted in a cacophony of questions, each reporter trying to drown his or her counterpart out for a turn at the Secretary’s attention.  “No more questions at this time.  All other inquiries can go through my office.  Thank you for your time.”

Secretary Jorden strode off the small stage and out a side door, into her offices.  Closing the door behind her, she tossed her papers onto the desk and poured herself a cup of coffee.  She was glad that was over.  Although, now she knew the onslaught of questions would begin pouring into the office within minutes. 

As if it read her mind, she could hear the phone on her assistant’s desk ring.  She poked her head out of the door and said to the young man, “Just start a list, and I’ll get to them when I can.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“Taking me to a ball?  Fancy!”  Raine’s face lit up.

“Well, that went pretty well, huh?”  Laguna patted Raine’s thigh.  “I especially liked the photo.  We make a cute couple, you know that?”

Raine nodded.  “She did great, even with the Odine question.  She’s a wonderful asset to your office.”  Raine sat back on the couch, hanging her arm over the armrest.  “I’m just concerned about all the questions that will come in about the so-called ‘scientists’ that supposedly handled the project.  Aren’t you worried that someone will dig up information that refutes her answers?”  Raine looked worried.

“Hey, don’t get upset.  Sam is the absolute best.  The reporters around here might be vultures, but they believe her.  As for the world press, well, that might be a different story.  But Sam will deal with them if she needs to.  If the time comes when we need to come clean, she’ll make sure it’s done right.  I agree with her what the people don’t know can’t hurt them right now.”

She sighed.  “Alright.  I just don’t like being dishonest, that’s all.  I don’t want to give the people a reason to mistrust us.”

Laguna put his arm around her shoulder.  “Don’t worry.  As soon as the media blitz dies down in a few weeks, something new will come on the scene and they’ll have another target to hone in on.  Sam is a respectable woman, and they have no reason to doubt her.”

Raine put her head on Laguna’s shoulder.  “You know, Loire.  You always know how to make me feel at ease.  I wonder if Squall caught the conference.”

Laguna craned his neck to look at the wall clock behind them.  “I’m sure he saw it.  He was very confident that Sam would do a good job.  He trusts her just like I do.  Plus, she takes care of any questions about him that come through the office, so he’s grateful for that.  That kid hates the press.”

Raine snuggled into the crook of Laguna’s arm.  “I’m still so glad that he didn’t turn me away last week.  I’m hoping to get some more time alone with him soon.”

Laguna chuckled slightly.  “Well, I wouldn’t suggest surprising him like that again.  He may have been polite last time, but he doesn’t like unannounced visitors.  I remember this one time, I came around and he was really pissed.  Seems I had interrupted…well, you know what?  Never mind.”

Raine giggled as she saw Laguna’s cheeks turn pink.  “I’ll keep that in mind.”  She yawned and put her feet up on the table.  “Are you actually going to get some work done today, _Mister President?_   Or are you planning on being a lump on the couch?  If so, I could use some help making sense out of the jumble you call a linen closet.”

Laguna slapped his thigh and looked at his watch.  “Oh, hey!  I gotta go!  Just remembered that I have, uhhh, Presidential stuff to do.”  He kissed her on the cheek and jumped up.

“That’s what I thought.  Get outta here.” 

He leaned down and kissed her again, this time softly on the lips.  “Call me later?”

She nodded.  “You bet.  Don’t be late for dinner; I’m making your favorite.”

Laguna’s face lit up with excitement.  “Meat loaf?  Don’t forget the…”

“…hard-boiled eggs in the middle?”  She wrinkled her nose.  “I could never forget such a thing, Loire.  Ever.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Ash switched the tiny television off.  The image of Raine and Laguna’s smiling faces was burned into his brain.  Their sweet smiles, the way Laguna held her slender waist, the look of love in both of their eyes.

It made him feel like vomiting.

He still loved Raine, and always would.  But his hatred for Laguna Loire overrode any feelings of compassion or caring.  His love for Raine was overtaken by the need to see them both suffer.

He was surprised that the Press Secretary fudged the truth about the whole matter.  He didn’t think Laguna would have the balls to lie to his people like that.  He had always prided himself on being an honest man, an “un-politician.”  Ash smirked as he realized it would make the outcome of his master plan even more spectacular than he had imagined.  After everything went down, not only would Loire have to deal with the death of his only son at his wife’s hands, but then he would have to pick up the pieces of his broken presidency, and fess up to his people for having lied to them.  

He didn’t expect his own name to be mentioned, after all, the police were probably still investigating his demise.  He was upset, however, that Odine hadn’t been mentioned.  He really wanted to see his reputation blackened after death.  The little rat deserved nothing less. 

 He clenched his hands together in his lap and looked over towards the ratty couch in the corner.  He knew what was behind that couch.  What it would ultimately end up doing.  A sinister smirk spread across his face. 

Behind that couch was a small case, the same one that he had brought with him from the lab complex.  The object sitting idle inside was waiting.  Waiting for its turn at glory.

Ash sat in silence for a long moment, contemplating just when he would spring into action.  He desperately wanted to move forward with the plans right now. He wanted to see that whole family suffer. 

He stopped himself, though.  He knew he needed to give her more time to bond with everyone, to make a life for herself.  Now that the news was out that she would be appearing publicly, he wanted to give her time to interact with the citizens of Esthar, to allow them to be captivated by her beauty and charm. 

So they could turn on her and the President when all hell broke loose.

Ash wrung his hands together, the dry skin on them beginning to crack and bleed.  He got up and pulled the couch out slightly, gazing down at the silver box behind it.  He didn’t touch the case, just stood for a moment staring at it.

Soon the time would come.  The Loire family would experience heartbreak like never before.  Ash would have his revenge.

Within a month, Squall Leonhart would be dead.

 


	44. Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-three

Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-three

                The sun made the buildings of Esthar gleam in the morning light.  Raine had learned very early on not to stare at the glistening structures for too long.  They were like the sun itself, if you looked too long, you would have spots in your eyes for hours.  She panned her gaze around the skyline, watching as the city began to bustle with morning activity.  Cars sped by underneath her on crystalline roads; passengers boarded the tube-transports, tourists stopped in front of the Palace to get photos. She watched as a group of schoolchildren disembarked from their bus and lined up like little ducklings behind the teacher, eager to enter the palace for a tour.   

The air was crisp and clean, with no hints of pollution.  Birds floated on invisible currents in the sky, weaving around the buildings with grace.  She turned to look at the Airstation, watching as small transports took off, heading to various points around the globe. 

She closed her eyes and had to remind herself that she wasn’t dreaming.  She had truly fallen in love with this city.  And, only two days after the announcement that she was actually here, it was apparent the residents of Esthar had fallen in love with her.  Their apartment was flooded with bouquets of flowers, balloons and cards welcoming her into their lives.  The influx of flowers had been so massive that Raine had decided to begin donating them to hospitals and retirement homes around Esthar.  She also made sure the balloons went to the Children’s Hospital in an effort to cheer up the patients. 

She opened her eyes and turned at the sound of movement behind her.  Laguna had come outside, holding two cups of coffee.

“Good morning, Madame First Lady.”

Raine accepted the steaming mug with a smile.  “Right back at ‘ya, Mister President.”

Laguna came to stand next to her, sipping his coffee.  “It sure is awesome isn’t it?  You know, even after twenty-three years, it still takes my breath away.” 

Raine turned her attention back to the skyline.  “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of looking at it.  For a girl coming from Winhill, it is the stuff dreams are made of.”

“You’re the stuff my dreams are made of.”  Laguna had turned to face her.

“Loire, you’re so sappy it hurts.”  She playfully slapped him on the back. 

He chuckled, taking another drink from his mug.  “So, what’cha up to today?” 

Raine took a deep breath.  She hoped Laguna would be on board with her idea.  “Actually…I was thinking of going out.”

Mid sip, he eyed her over the lip of his coffee cup.  His eyebrows arched.  “Out?  Like, ‘out’ out?”

“Yeah.  Ellone wanted to help me pick a gown for the ball.”  She tapped her fingers on the balcony, eagerly waiting for a response.  She hoped Laguna would agree to let her leave the palace.

He exhaled through his nose, looking out at the city.  He was silent for a long moment. 

“Laguna?”

He turned to face her again, a hint of concern behind his green eyes.  “I don’t know, Raine.  I mean, you’ve only been ‘out’ to the people for a few days now.  I want to make sure you’d be safe.”

Raine placed a hand on Laguna’s forearm.  “We’ll take a security detail with us, and ride in a car with tinted windows.  Elle wants to take me to one of her favorite stores, and she assured me that they will keep our visit very private.”  She cocked her head and put on her most convincing doe eyes.  “Please?” 

A small smile graced Laguna’s lips.  “Dammit, Raine.  You know I can’t say no to you.”  He kissed her softly on the lips.  “Just promise me you’ll be careful.  No other stops, alright?”

She raised her hand with the Deling Scouts salute.  “Scout’s honor.  Not that you’d remember that…dropout.”  She smirked.

“Hey, watch it.  I seem to remember you telling me you only lasted two years in the Moogle Maidens.”

“Touché, Loire.”

He sipped his coffee, producing a smirk of his own and a quiet, “Mmm-hmm.”

The stood in silence for a moment, taking in the morning scenery.  Laguna moved closer to Raine, and put his arm around her back.  She rested her head on his shoulder, breathing in the soft scent of his cologne. 

He finally had to release his embrace to look at his watch.  “I gotta go, Raine.  Presidential duty calls.”  He set his cup on the balcony and turned take her hands in his own.  “Are you sure you want to go out today?  I can have the store send the dresses up to you.”

Raine could see the worry in his eyes.  She squeezed his hands tightly.  “I really want to do this, Laguna.  It’s time I see more of the city.  And your guards will be with me at all times.  I’ll be safe.”

He sighed.  “If it’s what you really want, then I’m okay with it.  Do you need anything?”

Raine smiled playfully.  “Actually…”  She held her hand out, palm up.  Laguna immediately slapped it five, a goofy grin on his lips.  Raine put her other hand on her hip and arched an eyebrow.

“Oh, I suppose this is the part where I give you money, huh?”  Laguna smiled sheepishly as Raine nodded. 

“That’s the idea.”  She batted her eyes at him.

Laguna looked very proud.  “Well, it just so happens that Elle has accounts in all of the finest stores in Esthar.  Thanks to her Uncle.”  He picked up his mug and finished his coffee with a wink.  “Everything is taken care of.  And you’ll have arrangements of your own next month when the accountants set them up.”

Raine put her arms around Laguna’s body, feeling the warmth of his skin on her own.  “Thank you, Laguna.  And not just for the dress.”  She pressed her ear close to his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.  “Thank you for the wonderful life I have.  For loving me.  For everything.”

She felt him tighten his own arms around her as they cradled her against his body.  His breathing was deep and rhythmic, and his voice reverberated out from his chest into her ear.  “I just want you to be happy.  I want to give you everything you were cheated out of.  I want us to have the life we deserve together.”

She looked up to meet his eyes with her own.  “Laguna, you are the love of my life, you know that?”

He winked again.  “Knew it from the first day I laid eyes on you.” 

She gave him “the look.”  “Oh really? That’s funny, because the first time I laid eyes on _you_ , I contemplated putting you back on that beach.  I didn’t know if I wanted to get involved.”  Her face softened, and a glimmer shone in her eyes.  “I’m glad I didn’t though.  You turned out to be quite a catch.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Raine and Ellone combed the racks at an upscale boutique in the heart of Esthar’s shopping district.  Raine had absolutely no idea what she wanted.  She hadn’t gone shopping properly in over twenty years.  In fact, the last trip she remembered taking to a clothing store was in Timber—and she was six months pregnant.

She had no idea what kind of dress to be looking for, and so far, every one of her choices had been shot down by her very opinionated niece.  Another selection caught her eye, a long black piece with silver accents around a scooping neckline.  “What about this one?”

Ellone’s head came out from the racks, and she immediately rolled her eyes.  She shook her head.  “No way.  Too matronly.  You need a sexier look.”

Raine’s eyes bulged.  “Sexy?  Is that appropriate?”

Elle snatched the offending garment away from her aunt and placed it back on the rack.    “Of course!  You’re the wife of the President—the gorgeous wife, I might add—who just happens to have a fantastic body.  Flaunt it!”  She had a devilish grin on her face.  “You go change out of your clothes and wait.  I’ll be right back.”  She motioned to the fitting room and scampered off.

Raine obliged her niece, slightly apprehensive about what she would be bringing back.  As she stripped down to her undergarments, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.  She had to admit, she looked pretty damn good for forty-seven years old.  She smoothed her hands over her abs, noting they had lost some of their muscle tone.  She hadn’t worked out in two weeks, and she was beginning to see the signs.  She made a mental note to ask Laguna about the gym facilities in the Palace.  She knew they existed, as he and Squall had morning workouts together. 

She was snapped out of her thoughts when Ellone’s arm thrust around the curtain, waving a shimmering ruby dress.  “Try this.”

Raine hung the garment on the hook to get a better look.  It seemed to be a form-fitting sleeveless satin dress, with tiny rhinestones accenting a plunging neckline.  The back was extremely low, and would dip way past the middle of her back, and the bottom flared out just as it reached the floor.

“Ummm, Elle?  I’m not too sure about this one.” She felt the fabric between her fingers. 

Ellone’s voice was muffled by the wall.  “Trust me.”

Raine sighed and removed the dress from the hanger.  She decided it wouldn’t hurt to try.  Besides, it would make Elle happy.  She stepped into the dress.  The fabric felt smooth and cool against her skin.  She adjusted the hem and pulled slightly at the shoulders, turning around to look at herself.

The neckline was deeper than she had imagined.

She had to admit, though, she did look pretty good.  She just didn’t know if she would be comfortable in it in front of all those people and cameras.  After all, it was her first public appearance since coming to Esthar.  She didn’t want to seem out of place.

“Come on, Aunt Raine.  Let’s see it.”

Raine tried to lift the straps of the dress in an attempt to raise the neckline before pulling the curtain back. 

“Whoa!  That’s the one!”  Elle’s eyes and face were practically glowing.  “You’re hot stuff, Raine.  Uncle Laguna’s gonna hit the ceiling.” 

Raine exited the fitting room and a salesperson guided her up on to a pedestal facing a full length mirror.  She swung her hips back and forth, making the bottom hem of the dress flutter slightly.  “I have to admit, Ellone, you outdid yourself.”

Ellone smirked, then moved to stand next to Raine.  She walked around the dais, holding her chin with her hand.  She looked Raine up and down, stopping once to tug the bottom of the back down slightly.  “Damn, I’m good.”

Raine stared at herself, amazed that she could actually pull off wearing this dress.  She was grateful that she had stuck to her workout regimen all those years, and was very pleased with the way her body looked in the garment.  “You know, Elle, I was a little apprehensive about this dress when you first brought it to me, but now…”  She looked at herself in the mirror, using her hands to push her cleavage up a bit.  “I think this just might be the one.” 

The saleslady brought a pair of shimmering red pumps, and slid them onto Raine’s dainty feet.  Now that the whole ensemble was complete, Raine loved it even more.  She never would have imagined herself in a dress like this, so sexy and revealing.  She thought back to her days in Winhill, how she had a much more conservative wardrobe.  She rarely wore short skirts, sleeveless shirts or anything that showed too much skin.  Now, here she was getting ready to go public in a searing hot little number, and was totally okay with it. 

_How times change, eh Raine?_

She turned to the worker.  “How much is the dress?”

Ellone held her hand up the stop the woman before she could answer.  She then turned to her Aunt, hands on hips.  “Do you like it?”

Raine looked at herself in the mirror once more.  She stared at the woman in the reflection, her body being hugged by the garment.  She twisted her body slightly to get a glimpse of her back, exposed and bare. 

“I love it.”

Elle looked back to the salesperson.  “Then don’t tell her how much it is.  Charge it to my account, please.”

Raine extended her hand, which Ellone took in her own.  The two women stood silently for a moment, admiring their purchase.  The young woman finally squeezed her fingers and turned to face Raine.  “I don’t know about you, but all this shopping has exhausted me.  Let’s head back and order in.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“Are you sure you’re okay, Commander?  That thing hit you pretty hard.” 

Squall rubbed his aching shoulder, wincing when his fingers came in contact with the gash and fresh blood adorning it.

 He had taken his advanced-level Gunblade class into the Training Area of E-Garden.  The place had just been re-stocked with various fiends, and they were all extremely cranky from being displaced.  He thought it would be the perfect time for the cadets to hone their skills.  One particularly pissed Chimera didn’t appreciate being taunted by the class and went after the closest target.

Squall.

He had instructed the students to stay back and out of harm’s way while he took the beast down.  He had experience with Chimeras from the days of the Sorceress War, and felt confident he could best the creature.  He had successfully incapacitated three of the four heads, leaving the Lion’s head, the one that attacked physically for last.  The animal was badly wounded, favoring its front left paw as it tried to circle the Commander.

Squall was also feeling fatigued, as he hadn’t fought this hard in a long time.  He used the time the fiend spent licking its injured paw to catch his breath and move his junctions around.  It took him less than thirty seconds to ready himself again, and he leapt at the creature, raising Lionheart high above his head in what he had planned to be a finishing move.  As he flew through the air, a sense of hesitation washed over him, and he let his grip on the hilt go slack ever so slightly.  His concentration faltered for a split second.

It was all the time the beast needed.

Apparently, the Chimera still had more spunk left in it than Squall thought, because it swiped a giant clawed hand at him, knocking him out of the air before he could even make contact.  The students all gasped as he skidded across the dirt floor and came to rest at the base of a giant tree.  He got to one knee and huffed angrily.  One of the cadets began to move forward to help, but Squall held up a hand and flicked his wrist commanding the young woman to stay back. 

This was his fight.

As he rose and lifted his gunblade into ready position, he felt the tell-tale pain of a deep cut on his shoulder blade.  He could smell the blood as it seeped into his tee shirt and rolled down his back.  He mentally thanked himself for removing his uniform jacket before beginning the fight.  At least he wouldn’t have to get it repaired and cleaned.

He pushed his pain aside and charged towards the beast, swinging his blade just as the Chimera turned to bite at him.  Lionheart sliced through the fiend’s skull with ease, leaving two halves of the head at the beast’s paws.  The body slumped to the ground as the cadets erupted in raucous cheers.

“Commander?”

Squall snapped himself out of his thoughts and turned to face his students.  “I’m fine.  Let this be a lesson to all of you that fiends don’t care about rank.  They will attack you on the sheer principle that you’re there.  No one is invincible.”  He felt a sharp sting in his shoulder, reminding him of the fresh wound.  “Everyone gather your gear.  You’re free to go.”

He watched as the students left, the young woman who had been concerned looking back over her shoulder one last time as she rounded the corner and moved out of sight.  When the cadets were gone, Squall felt his stomach tighten and ran to the underbrush to vomit.  The fight had been intense, and the pain from the wound was incredible. 

Wiping his mouth on the cleaning cloth he carried for Lionheart, he sat for a moment on a rock to catch his breath and compose himself before heading out.  He knew he would need to get the wound checked in the infirmary, and that he would most definitely need stitches. 

Before moving down the path, he called upon Diablos, asking the Guardian Force to keep all the other fiends away from him until he was safely out of the Training Area.  He didn’t think he could handle another fight today.

As he walked, he tried to come up with a reason why that particular fight had been so difficult.  He rarely got injured like that, and he tried to figure out why it had happened.  He went over the battle in his head as he traversed the stone path.  The three heads that he took down first had been trying, but not overly problematic.  He had methodically attacked each one with the corresponding maneuvers he had used successfully dozens of times on such beasts.  When he had come to the last head, the Lion’s head, he had hesitated for a moment, and ended up paying for it.

But why did he waver?  His brow furrowed as he stopped to rest.  He sat down on a log and hung his head close to his chest.  The pain in his shoulder was radiating across his back and abdomen.  His hands fell slack across his thighs, and droplets of blood rolled down arm and dripped off the fingers on his right hand. 

As he watched the crimson liquid drip onto the dirt and soak in, he realized it had been the Lion’s head itself that stopped him.  It reminded him of Griever, and in that instant, if only for a nanosecond, his mind had wandered to Raine.   That was just enough time for him to let his guard down and be attacked.

He knew better than to let feelings invade him during a battle.  Warriors who let their minds wander get killed, plain and simple.  He had been lucky.  The Chimera was already badly wounded and didn’t have its other heads to assist it.  Had there been even two heads still functioning, there was a chance that the cadets would have had to carry him out of there.

Since his nightmare two days prior, he couldn’t stop thinking about Raine.  He knew that he had to face his demons and talk with her again soon, or he wouldn’t be able to function properly.  After he got his back stitched up, maybe he’d make an effort. 

Squall’s throbbing shoulder brought him out of his thoughts.  He hoisted Lionheart onto his good arm and made his way to the infirmary. 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“You know, Elle, pizza tastes better when you’re on a balcony overlooking the most beautiful city in the world.” 

Raine and Ellone sat high above the streets of Esthar, washing their late lunch down with a couple of cold beers.

“I feel kind of naughty, Raine.”  Ellone took a long draught of her beverage, then held it up for a toast.  “It’s strange to be drinking alcohol around you.  The four-year-old in me feels weird.” 

Raine raised her bottle and clinked it against Ellone’s.  “Shall I scold you like I did when you were four?”  She smiled slyly.  “Feel free to go stand in the corner for a few minutes.”

Ellone laughed and finished her beer.  “No, thank you.  I spent enough time there in Winhill.  Though, I am mature enough now to admit that I deserved most of that time.” 

Raine looked out over the city, adjusting her sunglasses to keep out more light.  “Elle?  Can I ask you some more things about Squall?  I’m curious about his personal life, but I don’t think he’d open up to me about it.  Not yet, anyway.”

“Of course you can.”

Raine grabbed another slice and proceeded to sprinkle it with pepper flakes.  Ellone laughed slightly.  “What’s so funny?”

Ellone shook her head with a giggle.  “Squall is the only other person I have ever seen actually put red pepper flakes on pizza.  You two have more in common than you realize.”

Raine took a bite, savoring the mouthful of heat she got.  “I craved pizza with pepper when I was pregnant with him.  No wonder he likes them.”  She had to pause and sip her beverage when some flakes got caught in the back of her throat.  After washing the offending particles down, she commenced her questioning.

“Will you tell me about Jane?  How did they meet?  What’s she like?”  Raine had a hopeful gleam in her eyes.

“Oh my goodness, Jane.  Where do I even begin?”  Ellone smirked.  “She’s so cool.  Definitely doesn’t take any crap, which I think is good for Squall.  She stands up to his broodiness.”

“What does she look like?”

“She’s really tiny, can’t be more than five feet.  But don’t let her little stature fool you.  Squall said she actually flipped him over her shoulder once when they were sparring.” 

Raine had to laugh at the image of this petite woman throwing her son over her back.  Ellone was right, she sounded pretty cool.

“She’s got short spiky black hair which she sometimes streaks with purple or pink, and she wears glasses.”  Ellone tapped her fingers on the side of her beer bottle.  “Let’s see, what else?  Oh, she’s got quite a mouth on her, so don’t let it catch you off guard the first time you meet her.  I’ve been around her enough, so I think she feels comfortable enough around me to ‘remove her filter’ so to speak.  The handful of times she has been around Uncle Laguna, I noticed she tried to keep it in check.”  Ellone laughed.  “It’s funny hearing such naughty things come out of such little woman.”

“Laguna told me she teaches history at Garden.  I’m assuming that’s where they met?”

“Yep.  She’s the instructor of World History, with an emphasis on Centran cultures.  She’s super intelligent.  I’ve never met anyone with a mind like hers.  It’s like she’s got a sponge in her head.”  Ellone’s lips formed into a soft smile.  “They met in an elevator, like you couldn’t get any more cliché.  She was running to catch it and stuck her foot in the door to stop it from closing.  She ended up in his arms as she fell into the cab.”

Raine tried to imagine how utterly uncomfortable Squall must have been at that moment, and had to stifle a laugh.

“Anyway, they kept running into each other in Garden and before they knew it, they were together.  I have to commend them for keeping their relationship secret for as long as they did. Squall was worried about both of their careers and reputations if word had leaked that the Commander was dating an instructor.  Now that they have been together a year though, it doesn’t seem to bother him as much.”

“Do you think they’ll get married?”

Ellone sipped her beer.  “I’d be surprised if they didn’t.  They’re a good match for each other.  She brings zaniness into his life that was never there before, and he truly is a happier person when she’s around.” 

Raine’s heart felt warm.  She was glad to hear that he had happy moments in his life.   And this girlfriend sounded wonderful.  She couldn’t wait to meet Jane.  “What does Laguna think of her?”

Ellone snorted.  “He loves her.  She’s a gal after his own heart.  You know how Uncle Laguna is; everything is silly, goofy and sometimes downright childish.  I think when she laughed at him as he belched the ABC’s cemented it for him that she was a keeper.”

Raine put her head in her hands.  She had forgotten about Laguna’s hidden “talent.”  “I remember when he tried to teach you to do that.  I was mortified.”

“You should have seen it; I thought Squall was going to die of embarrassment.  He didn’t bring Jane by again to see Laguna for months.” 

Raine’s face softened a bit.  “It seems like Squall and Laguna’s relationship is…awkward.  Do they spend _any_ time together?  Other than their workouts, I mean.”

Ellone cocked her head in thought.  “It’s not so much awkward as it is strained.  I’m sure you’ve noticed that they are two very different men, with extremely dissimilar personalities.  Uncle Laguna is boisterous and loud, tells silly jokes and is always trying to be the life of the party and Squall…”  She hesitated, a small smile gracing her lips.  “Well, Squall _isn’t_.” 

Raine nodded in agreement.  “You’re right about that.  He’s the ‘anti-Laguna.’” 

Ellone snorted.  “That’s a good one!  I’ll have to remember that.”  She sipped her beverage.  “They do spend time together, this last year especially.  I think it just took Squall a while to get used to the fact that he actually had a father.  The fact that Laguna is such a high-profile man made it harder for him.  Most of their time together is spent privately, away from the prying eye of the public and press.”

The young woman took another slice from the box.  “They both have antique weapons collections, so they spend time admiring each other’s stash, bickering over proper storage and cleaning.  It’s kinda funny.  Squall tries to get along with him, he really does.  Laguna just annoys him sometimes.”  She snickered.  “I’ve noticed since he’s met Jane, he softened a little with Uncle Laguna, it seems like he’s cutting him more slack in his goofiness.  That, or Squall just gave up and realized that there’s no changing him and decided to live with it.” 

Raine was happy that their father-son relationship seemed to be getting better as the years went on.  She hoped that in due time, Squall could find balance with her too. 

“What does Squall like to do in his spare time? I know he’s very busy with SeeD, but he must have some down time.”

Elle bit into her pizza, her eyes looking up to the sky as if she were correlating her answers.   
“He and Jane are pretty physically active. They go hiking and biking on weekends, but he also likes to veg out on the couch with an action movie or video games.  Jane kicks his ass on a regular basis.”  She sipped her beer again.  “Oh, and he’s a pretty good cook.  He made me a birthday dinner this year that knocked my socks off.”

Raine beamed.  She loved that she had something in common with him.  It also touched her heart that he would show such love for his sister.  Her mother had always said that a wonderful way to show love for someone was to cook them a magnificent meal.  She was happy that Squall and Ellone seemed to be closer than he and Laguna were.   “I hope he’ll let me cook with him sometime.  I find it to be very relaxing.”

“That’s just what he said about cooking.  He told me once that it lets him escape from the hardships of SeeD.”

Raine’s smile waned.  “SeeD.  Squall told me a little about it, but I could tell he was hesitant to talk more in depth.  It sounds dangerous.”

Ellone nodded, her face becoming solemn.  “I’m not going to lie to you, Raine.  It’s the most dangerous job in the world.  The average lifespan of a SeeD officer is twenty-seven.  But, those men and women know what they are getting themselves into.  They train their whole lives for this.  They know death could be around every corner, so they live life to the fullest when they’re not on duty.”  Ellone looked out towards the city.  “SeeD’s get paid three times the national average and the higher up in rank they are, the more Gil they have coming in.  You can just imagine what Squall’s salary is.  He’s rank A.”

Raine thought back to Squall’s apartment, and how sparsely furnished it was.  He didn’t seem to have a lot of material goods, other than electronics and Gunblades.  But, then again, she hadn’t seen his whole home.  She wondered what he did with all the extra income. 

“Your Uncle was telling me about the kind of abuse Squall has taken in his career.  He mentioned some awful things.  Is it all true?”  Raine was unsure if she really wanted to hear the answer.

“He’s taken a beating, that’s for sure.  I don’t know a lot of details; he’s pretty private about that sort of thing.  I think he keeps a lot to himself because he doesn’t want to worry me or Laguna.  I mean, he almost died on a mission four years ago and didn’t even tell Laguna about it until two years later.  He said it wasn’t a big deal because he survived.  I know Uncle Laguna was really hurt by that.  He made Squall promise not to keep things like that from him anymore.”

Morbid curiosity getting the better of her, Raine wanted to know more about the mission.  “What happened?”

Ellone pursed her lips.  “It’s pretty bad.  You might not want to hear it.”

Raine knew she should take Ellone’s advice, but she just had to know.  It was like some sort of creature gnawing at her brain.  “It’s okay, Elle. You can tell me.  Maybe it will help me to understand him better.”

Ellone bit her lower lip and held it there for a moment before finally speaking.  “He was shot and had to extract the bullet by himself in an alley.  He lost a lot of blood and barely made it to his rendezvous.”

Raine had to close her eyes and take a cleansing breath.  The thought of her son alone in an alley, fighting for his life was almost too much to bear. 

“Raine?  Are you okay?”

She opened her eyes again to find Ellone’s gaze, laced with concern.  “Yes, I’m fine.  You’re right, that was pretty bad.  I guess I should have heeded your warning.”

Ellone patted Raine’s hand across the table.  “Now you know why he doesn’t tell us a lot about missions.  Even though he doesn’t seem to care about people sometimes, deep down he just wants to protect the ones he loves from the harsh reality of his job.  That, and a lot of his work is classified.”

Raine nodded and turned to look at the skyline.  “I wish that he could have a safer job.  Even though I’ve only known about his position for two weeks, I’m scared for him.”

“He knows the risks.  He loves his job.  He hates the paperwork, mind you, but the thrill of SeeD is what he lives for.  He’s a born warrior and a strong leader.  No one could do what he does better.”

That thought reduced Raine’s fears somewhat, but she realized that she would probably never be one-hundred percent at ease with his career choice.  But, it was his life to live as he saw fit, and if that meant being in harm’s way more often than not, she would accept it. 

Without warning, a brisk breeze blew in, fluttering the napkins around the table.  Ellone grabbed them, trying to swipe the hair out from in front of her eyes.  “I think this is a sign that we should go in.  Looks like there’s rain coming.”  She pointed to the horizon, where dark clouds were gathering. 

Raine recalled Laguna mentioning that rain was rare in the city proper, but when it did happen, it was intense. She remembered the heavy downpours that would deluge the lab from time to time, but they were few and far between. The pair gathered their dishes and trash and headed in.  Within minutes, a downpour outside completely obscured the cityscape.

“Whoo!  That was a close one!”  Ellone ran to the balcony doors, sliding them shut just as the wind shifted and blew the precipitation into the house. 

Raine put the dishes in the dishwasher and went to rinse the bottles of the last of the beer residue before tossing them into the recycling receptacle under the sink. 

Ellone entered the kitchen, looking at her watch.  “I hope you don’t think I’m eating and running, but I have to go.  Ryan and I are meeting friends for dinner and I need to run a few errands before we go out.  Sucks that I’ll have to do them in the storm, though.”

Raine moved around the center island and embraced the young woman.  “You go right ahead, honey.  Here, let me walk you out.”

Ellone grabbed her purse from the countertop and allowed Raine to lead her by the hand to the door.  They embraced once more before Raine slid the door open.  Ellone crossed the threshold and gasped.

“Oh Hyne, Squall!”

Raine immediately rushed out of the apartment to find Squall leaning against the wall, fumbling with his key card.  Lionheart was dragging unceremoniously next to him, the razor sharp tip etching lines into the crystalline hallway, his SeeD uniform jacket tied around the hilt by the sleeves.   It was apparent that he had been injured.  His tee shirt was ripped and bloodied at the back, and Raine could see bandages through the hole.  He sluggishly turned towards the two women, eyes appearing glassy and not focusing properly. 

Raine and Ellone both ran to his side, Elle grabbing his gunblade away from him.  When Raine tried to take the key card from his hand, he flicked her hand away and continued to attempt to open his door. 

“I’m fine.  I just need…”  His fingers fumbled and he dropped the key card to the ground, swearing under his breath. 

Raine bent to pick it up.  “You most certainly are not fine.  Let me help you.”  She placed her hand on his bicep in an attempt to steady him while she slid the card through the reader.  The door whooshed open and she led him into the apartment.  Ellone followed behind, carrying the massive weapon.  She set it against the wall just inside the door. 

“Do you need me to stay?”  Ellone was obviously concerned for her brother.

Raine shook her head, all the while holding on to a swaying Squall.  “No, sweetheart.  We’ll be fine.  I’ll call you later, okay?” 

Ellone gave Raine a reluctant glance.  “If you’re sure you don’t need my help…”

“Really, we’re okay.  I’m just going to get him in bed.  If I was a betting woman, I’d have to say that he’s full of painkillers right now.  He just needs to rest.”

Squall turned to look at Ellone, a frown on his face.  “I _said_ I’m fine.  I don’t need any help.”

Ellone rolled her eyes and approached Squall.  “Good luck with him.  He can be stubborn.”  She winked and kissed his cheek.  She leaned in close to his ear and whispered, “Be good.”  The young woman left, leaving mother and son alone in the middle of the living room. 

Raine tried to guide Squall to the couch, but he was standing firm.  “You really don’t have to stay, you know.  I’ll be… fine as soon as I can get some…rest.”  His knees wavered, and he brought his free hand to his forehead. 

Raine held on tight, not willing to let her son fall.  “You can hardly stand.  Are the painkillers kicking in?”  She felt his shoulders slump, as if he were admitting defeat. 

“I just need…to lie down.”

Raine took him by the hand, still hanging on to his upper arm.  He hesitated once again.

“Lionheart.  I need to clean it.”

Raine shook her head.  “It can wait.  You need to get to bed before you fall down.”  She could feel him trying to tug her towards the weapon.  His behavior reminded her of when the doctor in Winhill had given Laguna morphine after they found him, and he kept insisting that he clean Mildred.  With a little force, she pulled him along, taking him away from his beloved blade. 

They headed down the short hallway with the armory to a door at the end.  She led Squall into the room and sat him down on the bed.  Raine quickly glanced around, taking inventory of the area.  It was quite large, with balcony doors reminiscent of her own bedroom.  The furniture was very much like that of the living room.  Black dressers and shelves, sliver lamps.  The bed appeared to be queen-sized with black sheets and a black comforter.  A large flat screen television was mounted on the wall across from the foot of the bed.  The closet was slightly open, and Raine could see a jacket with fur around the collar peeking out from inside. She recognized it as the coat from the picture.  She wondered if he wore it anymore. 

She heard his heavy boots clunk to the floor and turned to find him just about to lie back on the bed.  She gently grabbed him by the shoulders.  “Wait a minute.  You need to get that bloody shirt off before you lay down.  It’ll soil the sheets.”

Squall frowned and attempted to pull the tee over his head by himself.  He winced as the hem brushed over the bandages and he stopped.  Raine sat behind him on the bed.  She reached for the shirt, but as soon as her hands touched his back, he pulled away.  “I can do this. I’m not an invalid.”

It broke her heart to watch, but she allowed him to try again.  She could tell that the pain medication he had been given was getting the better of him.  She didn’t want to push her help on Squall, but she knew sooner or later she would have to step in.

He tried again to get the garment off, this time the hem dragging up and over the bandages, dislodging the bottom tape and moving the gauze slightly.  “Dammit!”  He hung his head and turned it away from Raine.  His voice was so quiet she almost missed his request.  “Would you…help…me?”

She could hear the embarrassment and humiliation in his voice.  She could tell that he rarely if ever had to ask for assistance.  It touched her heart that he would ask, but she wished it would have been under different circumstances. 

She gently raised the bloodied shirt past the bandages and over his head.  She noticed that he had a tattoo across his entire upper back, and the dressings covered a portion of it.  She wondered if the design had been marred by the wound.  Raine tossed the shirt aside.  She adjusted the bandages that had moved slightly, gently pressing the tape back in place.  His skin felt so warm under her fingers. 

She looked to his neck, where Griever hung on a gleaming silver chain.  It looked so regal hanging there, the point of the pseudo-cross ending just above his pectorals.  Her eyes moved down his right arm, where she saw Griever inked into his skin.  She was honored that he felt such a connection to the family symbol, even if he didn’t know its significance up until a few days ago.

“Where do you keep your shirts?  I’ll get you another and then you can lie down.”

Squall pointed to the dresser with a shaky finger.  “Top drawer.”  He pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

Raine approached the dresser, tossing the stained shirt in the wastebasket by his nightstand.  Once at the dresser, she was presented with a problem.  There were two top drawers.  Rather than bothering to ask again, she took her chances and opened the one on the left.  She had to stifle a small giggle as she was presented with a lacy bras and underwear.  She hoped they were Jane’s.  The other one contained tee shirts, mostly white.  She grabbed the top garment and headed back to Squall.

She moved to place the shirt over his head and was stopped by his hand grabbing her wrist.  He looked up at her with glassy eyes.  “I need some water.  I don’t think I can make it to the bathroom, though.”  His pupils were extremely dilated.  “I’m feeling really lightheaded.”

She smiled sweetly and set the shirt down next to him.  “Don’t try and put that on by yourself, okay?  I’ll be right back.” She made her way into the bathroom and filled the small glass by the sink.  She decided she would ask about the injury.  Maybe he would be willing to share information in his compromised state. 

“What happened?”

She walked back into the bedroom to find Squall hunched over with his head between his knees.  It was obvious to her that even with the medication he was still in pain.  He looked up. 

“I was stupid.  Chimera slashed me.”  He sighed and sat up straight.  “Eleven stitches.”

Raine handed him the glass while trying to hold back tears.  It broke her heart to see him in pain, and calling himself stupid.  It must have hurt more than his physical body.  It was apparent to her that his pride had been wounded as well.

He drank a little more than half the water, then handed glass back to her.  She set it on the nightstand and picked up the shirt once more.  “Let’s try and get this on you, okay?  Then I’ll help you lay down.”  She slid the shirt over his head, then stretched it wide to pass it over his back without too much pain for him.  He gingerly put his arms through the sleeves, wincing as his shoulder muscles moved.  When it was finally on completely, he exhaled in relief. 

“Thank you.”

A soft smile graced Raine’s lips.  “You’re welcome.  If you can stand for a moment, I’ll pull back the covers so you can get in bed.”

He cautiously stood, using Raine as leverage.  She could tell his knees were weak.  She quickly pulled back the comforter and sheets and guided him to the head of the bed, where he plunked down.  His eyelids seemed to be very heavy, and Raine could tell that he was fighting against the medication to stay awake.  She helped him to lie down and he immediately rolled on to his left side away from her to get pressure off of his wounded shoulder and back.

Raine tentatively put her hand out and reached for his hair.  She began to brush it away from his forehead, and was elated when he let her.  It seemed like he just didn’t have any more fight in him.  She pulled the sheet up to his upper back.  “Do you want the comforter?”

He barely shook his head.  “No.” 

She patted him on the back and smiled.  “I guess I was wrong last week. You do still need your mom to tuck you in.”  Raine heard him snort.  “Do you want me to call Jane?”

His voice was laden with fatigue and his words were beginning to slur from the medicinal haze.  “No…called her…coming…later.” 

She stood next to him for a moment, listening to him breathe.  He stirred slightly, curling into the fetal position.  She was surprised when he spoke again.

“Feels…good to…have…take care of…me…”

His words were jumbled and somewhat hard to understand, but she caught the gist of what he was trying to say.  Even if he didn’t realize he was saying it. Raine was quite certain the medication had a mighty hold on him now, and he probably hadn’t meant to say that out loud.  She instantly felt love from him, even if he didn’t mean to express it.  He was grateful that she was there, and that she could take care of him like only a mother could.  She sighed and rubbed the small of his back through the sheets. 

Raine heard his breathing pattern change and walked around to the other side of the bed.  He had fallen asleep.  She knelt down on the bed and leaned over to kiss him on the forehead. 

Finally, she could show that kind of affection.  Too bad he had to be asleep for her to do so. 

“Sleep well, my sweet son.” 


	45. Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-four

Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-four

                Kiros Seagill stepped out of the climate controlled car into the blaring desert heat.  He fished his sunglasses out of his messenger bag and balanced them on his nose.  He needed to get inside before he melted, and so he hurried up the steps and into the Odine Genetics Complex.

The police captain had granted him access to the site earlier in the week so he could do some digging of his own.  The investigation by the Palace precinct had stalled, and Kiros had decided to see what he could come up with.  As he entered the building, a cool breeze teased his skin, turning it to gooseflesh.  He hated the heat of the sands, and was relieved to be in air conditioning once again.

Kiros had come up with a game plan on his way to the lab.  He would start in Ash’s office, going through other file cabinets and any other place the police had left untouched.  The captain had given him permission to do so, as the evidence gathering portion of their research had concluded.  Kiros had been told he was free to remove anything he needed for his own investigatory purposes.  He would then move on to Ash’s apartment and finally Raine’s suite.  She had assured him that it was alright with her to do whatever he needed.  She had no attachment to the place anymore.

He walked down the hall towards the office, which had been cleaned of the blood that had been there the last time he had been on the premises.  All the crime scene tape was gone and the broken door panels had been replaced.  Nothing seemed amiss, and if one didn’t have any prior knowledge of the brutal crime that had taken place weeks before, they would never know anything had happened at all. 

He opened the door to the office and was hit with stale air.  Even though the blood on the floor had been mopped up, the heavy scent of iron was still noticeable.  Kiros wrinkled his nose at the odor and decided to not stay long.  He went for the filing cabinets immediately, finding that all the drawers marked either “Raine” or “Project Perfect Phoenix” had been emptied.  It wasn’t a surprise to him, as he had copies of every paper to come out of them.  What he was after were Ash’s other files.  He hoped to find some personal notes, other types of research, anything that would give him some insight into their time out in the desert.  Kiros needed to find evidence of _something_ that would cause such an abrupt change in Ash’s personality.  He wanted to have some solid proof, one way or another, that he could bring back to Squall.  Even though it seemed that the young man was getting more comfortable with Raine and the situation, Kiros knew that Squall still had lingering doubts.  He hoped to find anything that would help young Leonhart over the last hurdle. 

He just didn’t know what he was looking for.

There was one drawer in the filing cabinets that looked as if it had been untouched by the police.  It had no label, no outward markings.  For all the officers knew, it was empty.  Kiros opened it to find about a dozen manila folders, many empty.  As he thumbed through them, he came across what appeared to be presidential letterhead.  He was just about to read the letter when his cell phone rang.

 

“Hello, dear.”

_“Please tell me you wore sunscreen.  I know you’re out in the middle of the desert.”_

Kiros rolled his eyes and smiled.  “Yes I’m in the desert, and no I didn’t wear sunscreen.  I don’t have to wear it…unlike you.”

_“Hey, just because my skin is lighter than yours doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole.”_

Kiros could hear the sass in the voice on the other end.  He loved their playful banter.  “Sorry, love.  Look, I’m kind of in the middle of something here.”

“ _Don’t expect me to rub aloe on your burnt face tonight.  Make sure you’re home by eleven, alright?  We’re having lunch with my parents, remember?”_

Kiros shoved the file with the presidential letterhead into his messenger bag.  “I’m looking forward to it.  I’ll see you _before_ eleven, I promise.  Love you.”

“ _Love you more.  See you soon.”_

Kiros placed the phone back in his bag.  He placed various other files in the satchel, along with the letter.  He would look at them all later.  Scanning the room, he looked for anything else that might be useful.  He sat at the desk and opened up all the drawers.  He found nothing out of the ordinary, just standard desk contents.  Pens and pencils, a sliver letter opener, several sticky-note pads.  The police had taken the computer, and had found nothing out of the ordinary on the hard drive. 

Kiros sat back in the chair and glanced at the walls.  Ash’s diplomas and certificates of achievement were all framed and on display.  Nothing seemed out of the ordinary to Kiros, it was just another therapist’s office.  There was even a loveseat, which Kiros surmised Raine had spent many hours on in therapy.

He reached across the desk and pulled an ornate gold pen closer to get a better look at it.  A small plaque was on the bottom of the holder. 

**_To our son on his graduation day.  We couldn’t be prouder.  Love, Mom and Dad._ **

Kiros removed the pen from its receptacle and twirled it around in his fingers.  He wondered if it was the pen used to write all of Ash’s notes.  Sighing, he replaced it and pushed the holder back into its original spot.  The police captain had mentioned that a charity organization had been given permission to take the contents of the offices and apartments in the next month.  Raine had been given the opportunity to claim any of her belongings, but had declined.  She told Kiros that she had taken everything she held dear to her the day she left, and that everything else was just a bad memory.

He sat for a moment, turning in the chair to look out across the desert.  He noticed a pile of ashes collecting in the corner of the windowsill.  He got up and slid the window open to find dozens of spent cigarette butts littering the stones underneath.  He thought back to Ash’s medical files from college that stated that he did not smoke at that time.  Kiros wondered if it was something he had started before or after they came to the lab.  Just one more piece of a giant puzzle.

Kiros sighed and decided there was nothing more to be found in the small office.  He picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder.  He headed out and made his way back to the entrance of the complex, then crossed over to the other hallway, where the employee suites were located.  The police captain had told him which apartment was Ash’s, and he opened that door first.

The rooms were lavishly furnished, very unlike the other areas of the lab.  It was obvious Ash liked the good things in life.  Ash had lived like a king.  Kiros speculated that the blackmail Raine had mentioned was quite substantial.  The furniture was all leather, artwork and sculptures adorning the walls and tables.  High-end electronics and stereo equipment lined the shelves.   

He poked around the living room, combing the bookshelves lining the walls.  Everything seemed very normal.  Most of Ash’s books were medical in nature, many of them well worn.  He walked down the hallway and entered the bedroom.  The police had searched the room to see if anything had been disturbed or seemed to be stolen during the attack.  According to the report, nothing had been out of the ordinary.  There was no sign of burglary, and nothing in the rooms seemed to have been tampered with.

This confused Kiros.  Why would someone come all the way out into the middle of the Great Plains of Esthar, murder a man in cold blood, and leave without searching the complex and plundering it?  He stood in the middle of the room, deep in thought.  Something didn’t seem right about the whole thing.  If he were a criminal, he would have at least tried to find something of value to take from the lab.  And why hadn’t they found Raine?  Kiros knew the silent alarm had been tripped, but whoever committed the murder wouldn’t have been able to know that. 

It all seemed too perfect to Kiros, and at the same time made no sense.  He chuckled in the silent room, chiding himself for ideas that seemed silly.  He decided to look around some more and move on to Raine’s apartment.  He only had a small amount of time left before he had to leave.

Ash’s apartment yielded nothing, and he crossed the hall to Raine’s suite.  The scent of wildflowers invaded his senses again, just as it had done that first day.  He remembered walking into the room, not sure if he believed the file folders that had said she was on the premises. 

It was amazing how everyone’s life had changed in an instant.

He entered the kitchen, where the countertops were lined with dozens of cookbooks.  He briefly contemplated calling Laguna’s apartment to see if Raine wanted any of them, but quickly remembered that she had been very clear that she no longer wanted anything from the lab. 

He made his way to the bedroom, where he sat on the edge of the bed for a moment.  The room was very feminine, a vanity in the corner littered with countless make-up bottles and compacts, nail polish and hairbrushes.  A padded chair sat in the other corner, a small table next to it.  There were books piled on the small piece of furniture, and the chair looked well worn.  It was obvious that Raine had spent a lot of time in this room. 

He looked over his shoulder and spotted the nightstand.  The drawer was cracked open slightly.  He scooted down the length of the bed and opened the drawer all the way.  Nothing seemed out of the ordinary:  a stick of lip balm, hand lotion, a few pens and a silver hair barrette.  He was just about to close it when he noticed a small box poking out from underneath a handkerchief.  He removed the container and lifted the lid. 

Kiros cocked his head as he took a small object out.  It appeared to be an earpiece, not any bigger than an almond.  There were no markings on either it or the box.   He held it in the palm of his hand, studying every tiny detail.  It appeared to be hand-made, as it bore no company logos.  There was a tiny data port on the butt-end of the device, but when Kiros looked in the drawer for upload cables he found nothing.  He located the switch and powered the machine on.  Curious, he pushed the ear bud into his ear and listened.  Kiros immediately heard the sounds of a far-off thunderstorm.  Wind, rain and the rumbles of thunder quietly invaded his hearing. 

He sat for a long moment, listening to the sounds of the storm.  It was very calming.  He removed the device from his ear and placed it back in the box.  He wondered if Raine had been experiencing some sort of sleep difficulties and if the device had been meant to help her.  He reached to the foot of the bed and stashed the box containing the tiny machine in his bag.  Perhaps he would have it analyzed to see who had made it.

He stood and rocked his neck from side to side in an attempt to alleviate stiffness.  He made a mental note to ask for a neck massage when he got home.  He stretched his arms back behind his body and walked slowly around the room, stopping at the vanity to inspect the various beauty supplies left behind.  Briefly, he admired Raine’s taste in nail polish.

He poked through a few drawers, and found nothing but clothing.  The closet also yielded nothing of interest.  He turned towards the door and took one last look back into the room.  His mind wandered to that day when he opened the door to find Raine sitting on the bed.  Never in his wildest dreams would he have ever thought it could be possible.  He smiled softly, a sense of peace washing over him.  Raine was back with her family, and nothing he had found here today made him suspect that there was anything amiss with her arrival back into Laguna’s life. 

He closed the door behind himself and made his way to the front entrance.  Looking at his watch, he swore under his breath as he realized it was almost ten-thirty.  If he didn’t high-tail it, he would be late for lunch.  And he would never hear the end of it.  

He locked the doors of the complex behind himself and got in his car, tossing his bag on the front seat.  Further investigation would have to wait. 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“Dang, Raine.  Who knew tuna salad sandwiches could taste so good.  What do you do to them to make them so divine?”  Laguna closed his eyes and savored the bite he had just taken.

“I spit in the tuna.”

He immediately stopped chewing and gave his wife a quizzical look.  Then, he held the sandwich out in front of him to inspect it, a disgusted look on his face.  “You’re kidding, right?”

Raine raised an eyebrow and smirked.  “Maybe.”

Laguna eyed his lunch for a second more before shrugging his shoulders and taking another bite.  “Well, whatever it is that you do to it, keep it up.” 

Raine smiled, taking a bite of her own sandwich.  “Hey, you’re right.  This is pretty good.  I’ll have to remember to spit in the tuna all the time.”

They finished eating quietly, Laguna giving Raine a run-down of his upcoming afternoon.  “I have a meeting today with the Trabian Ambassador.”  Laguna rolled his eyes.  “I’m sure he’s going to try and weasel his way into the SeeD ball this weekend.  He’s always looking for publicity.”

Raine giggled.  “Sounds like you don’t enjoy his company?  I thought you liked everyone.”

“It’s not that I don’t like him, he’s just…well…gruff.  He can’t take a joke.”  Laguna smiled sheepishly, then reached for a platter of freshly-baked cupcakes. 

“Hands off, mister!  Those are for Squall.”

Laguna pouted.  “How’s he doing?  Have you talked to him at all today?”  He tried to grab at the platter again, only to have his hand slapped away. 

Raine shook her head.  “I haven’t.  I didn’t want to bother him if he was resting.  I’ll take these over this afternoon.”  She cocked her head and handed Laguna a cupcake.

He excitedly accepted the pastry and began to unwrap it, licking the chocolate frosting off of his thumb.  “I called this morning, but he didn’t answer.  I would assume that he took the day off, but then again, who knows with that kid.  He’s a workaholic.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he would try and work with a busted leg and a chunk missing from his head.”  He took a bite, and with a full mouth spoke again.  “That was really wonderful of you to take care of him like that yesterday.  He must have been really hopped up on drugs for him to let you, though.”  He smiled, exposing his chocolate covered teeth.  “I know that it probably killed him inside to have to ask for help, but I’d be willing to bet that he was grateful that you were there.”

Raine sighed.  “I’ll admit that it felt nice to be able to care for him, but it broke my heart to see him in such agony…and so helpless.”  She rested her elbows on the countertop, then her chin in her hands.  “I’m sad that it took an injury to let him allow me to get closer.”

Laguna wiped frosting from his lips with a napkin.  “I’m sorry that it took an injury too.  But, hey, at least he let you get close!  Baby steps!” 

Raine nodded.  “I know.  I’m hoping that this incident will strengthen our relationship in a weird way.  Maybe he’ll realize that having a Mom around to take care of him isn’t so bad.”  She smiled and looked past Laguna at the Esthar skyline. 

Laguna got up and put his trash in the basket before standing behind Raine.  He wrapped his arms around her upper body and gave a light squeeze.  “He’s a lucky kid, that’s for sure.  I’d love you have you as a Mom.”  He leaned down and seductively whispered in her ear.  “But it’s much more fun having you for a wife.”

Raine reached behind her back and tickled Laguna’s stomach.  “Oh get out of here, you horn-dog!”

Laguna let go and cackled.  “You just wait, missy.  You want horn-dog?  You got it!”  He had a wicked grin on his face.  He kissed her on the forehead and headed out, calling back over his shoulder.  “The horn-dog will return after he’s done being President for the day!”

Raine buried her head in her hands and laughed hysterically.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

All the lunch dishes were washed and dried and a load of laundry had been started.  Raine looked at the microwave clock.  It was one-thirty.  She figured she would drop off the treats for Squall.  She just hoped he would accept them, and maybe even invite her in.  Raine was prepared for it to be awkward, after all Squall hadn’t asked for her help right away.  She knew that it had been difficult for him to ask for her assistance, and primed herself for the fact that he may be aloof and distant when she went to visit. 

She balanced the platter on her palm and made her way across the hallway.  With a free finger, she pressed the chime button and waited.  She figured it might take him a while to get to the door.  Needless to say, Raine was quite surprised when the door slid open almost immediately and revealed a petite young woman.

Raine tried to keep her beaming smile in check.  The woman in front of her had spiky black hair streaked with purple, funky glasses and was wearing a red tee-shirt with a drawing of a T-rexaur on its stomach with the caption, “T-rexaur hates push-ups.”  Raine chuckled at the image of the creature with its tiny arms, obviously not suited for such calisthenics. 

The young woman smiled warmly.  “Mrs. Loire!  It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.  I’m Jane.” 

“The pleasure is all mine, Jane. And please, call me Raine.  I brought these for Squall.”  She raised the tray of cupcakes.  “I hope he likes chocolate.”

Jane accepted the plate and motioned her hand into the apartment.  “Come on in, he’s sleeping.  And he loves chocolate, by the way.”  She winked.

Raine crossed into the home in front of Jane, who went directly into the kitchen.  Raine followed.  “Sleeping?  Is he still in a lot of pain?”  She had a concerned look on her face.

Jane placed the platter on the countertop.  “Yeah, he didn’t want to take any pain pills today, but I threatened to call Laguna and have him come over and ‘entertain’ him and he downed them without a fight.”  She smiled at Raine.  “He’s pretty stubborn.”

“Yes, I’ve seen it firsthand.”

Jane went to the fridge and pulled out a pitcher.  “Would you like to stay a while and chat?  I just cooled down my sun-tea.” 

Raine internally beamed.  She was so excited at the prospect of having some one-on-one time with Squall’s girlfriend.  “I would love to, thank you.”  She watched as Jane poured two glasses of tea.  She certainly was tiny, but Raine could see that she had excellent muscle tone.  It was obvious that she worked out regularly.  Jane turned and handed her a glass.

“You wanna go out on the balcony?  It’s not too hot today, and besides, then we can talk without worrying about waking the snarling beast.” 

“That sounds lovely.”  Raine grabbed the platter of cupcakes.  “I’ll just bring these along.  You don’t think he’ll miss two, do you?”  She smiled deviously.

“You read my mind, Mrs. Lo…I mean, Raine.” 

The pair moved on to the patio, which held a small table with chairs and two loungers.  “Squall’s view certainly is lovely.  It’s nice to see another side of the city.”  Raine sat across from Jane.

“You got that right.  I live on the third floor of my building, so all I get to see is someone else’s windows.”  She sipped her beverage.  “Ooh, this is good.”

Raine followed suit and took a drink of her own tea.  “You’re right.  I’ve never heard of sun-tea before.”

Jane put her glass down on the table.  “It’s super easy.  Just fill a jug with water and tea bags and leave it out in the sun for few hours!  It brews in the heat!  My mom used to make it all the time when I was a kid.  My brother and I would fight over who got the last drops out of the pitcher.”  She smirked.  “I usually won.”

Raine loved hearing about her family.  She wanted to know more, to know everything there was to know about Jane, but she didn’t want to seem too overzealous.  “You have a brother?  Any other siblings?”

“Nope, just us.  His name’s Dirk.  I always joke that our parents were on drugs when they named him.  Man, did he catch hell in school.  ‘Dirk the Jerk’ got a lot of play-time.”  She had a wicked grin on her face.  “And of course, big sister had to call him that every chance she got.”

“Sounds like you two are very close.” 

“Oh yeah.  He’s my baby brother, and even though he grinds my gears all the time, I love him with all my heart.  I’d do anything for him.”  She sipped her tea.  “Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

Raine was heart warmed that she would ask about her.  “No.  Just me.  I always wanted a brother though.”

Jane snorted.  “They stink, scare all your female friends away and mess up your stuff.”  She winked.  “All kidding aside though, I know that he would be there for me in a heartbeat if I needed him.”

“Can I ask you some more about yourself?  I would love to know more about the woman who has captured Squall’s eye.”  Raine had a hopeful look on her face.  “I don’t even know your last name.” 

She was relieved when Jane’s smile widened.

“Of course!  I don’t have anything to hide! Don’t worry; I’m not an axe murderer, or anything.”  She smirked.  “And my last name is Rylos.”

Raine laughed.  Ellone was right about her dark sense of humor.  “Laguna told me you’re from Trabia.  What brought you to Esthar?”

Jane reached for a cupcake.  “Well, for one thing, Trabia’s colder than a witch’s ti…”  Jane slapped her hand over her mouth, eyebrows raised.  “Oops.  Sorry.  I mean, Trabia is really cold.”  Her cheeks flushed slightly.

Raine smiled.  “You don’t have to worry about offending me.  I’m pretty much un-offendable. I’m not shocked by colorful language.” 

Jane sighed.  “That’s a relief.  It’s hard enough having to watch my mouth around my students.”  She peeled her cupcake.  “Anyway, the warmer climates of destinations-south were a big draw for me.  That, and all the work I had been doing studying Centran History at Deling University naturally brought me to Centra.”

“What made you so interested in Centra’s history?”

A warm smile crossed Jane’s lips.  “The unknown, really.  So little is known about their culture, their language, everything.  Ever since I was a kid I have been nuts about any sort of history, but the Centrans…”  She sighed.  “…The Centrans fascinated me from the very beginning.  There isn’t a whole hell of a lot on info about them, so when I had exhausted all the materials I could find, I decided to be the one to find more.”  She smiled broadly.  “I go on archaeological digs whenever I can in Centra.  I want to be the one to find something new, something that gives the world more insight into who they were.”

Raine was amazed.  The woman sitting in front of her was so passionate about her interests, about learning all she could, and it made her very happy for Squall to have found such a fantastic partner. 

Jane smiled sheepishly.  “Sorry if I got carried away.  I just love history so much; it’s hard to turn it off sometimes.” 

“You can talk my ear off about history any time you want.”  And Raine hoped she would do just that.  Even though she had only known Jane for less than ten minutes, she could already tell that they were going to get along wonderfully.  “So, this is your first year at Garden, then?  Is it out of the ordinary for a civilian to be teaching in a military school?”

Jane took a bite of her cupcake.  “Holy shit, these are to die for!  Squall might not get any.”  She wiped her mouth.  “To answer your question, yes, it is somewhat unconventional for me to be teaching SeeD cadets.  From what I’ve seen and heard, they like to fill positions with SeeD officers and instructors first, but if they can’t, then they look outside the academy.  I guess I’m honored that they would choose me to teach their students.  I mean, I’m not the most military-minded gal in the world.” 

She sipped her tea and continued.  “I didn’t always want to be a teacher, either.  My dream jobs were either sitting in a dusty archive somewhere flipping through centuries-old books or being on digs in the middle of nowhere, scraping dirt off of some artifact with a toothbrush.”  She sat back in her chair, resting her arms on the sides.  “I had to do student teaching as part of my degree and found that I really enjoyed it.  I talked with some of my professors about maybe getting another degree on top of my history one, and my Centran language instructor pulled a few strings with the Ed. Department and got me in as a late arrival.” 

“So, is this your first year teaching?”

“Yep.  And not to toot my own horn, but I think I’m doing a pretty damn good job.  The students seem to like me—probably because I’m not all stuffy and strict like most of the Garden instructors.”  She snickered.  “Some of those people have major sticks up their asses.  But of course, you didn’t hear that from me.”

There was that wicked grin again.  She was loving Jane more and more each minute. 

“I was so excited to get the job at Garden, but so frickin’ nervous at the same time.  I mean, this was where they trained SeeD’s.  Not to mention, your son had quite the reputation for being a looker.  I took it as a challenge to see if I could resist his handsome face.”  She bit into her cupcake, obscuring her smiling lips for a moment.  “I guess I failed miserably at that one.”

“Ellone told me you two met in an elevator.  Sounds romantic.” 

Jane snorted.  “It couldn’t have been any less romantic.  I almost fell on my ass and dropped my entire stack of papers on the floor.  I’m sure I looked like a total tool.”  She sat forward again. “He was so embarrassed, though.  It was kinda funny.  I knew who he was, too.  That made it all the more weird.  That was the longest elevator ride of my life.  I thought I was going to die of embarrassment.”

“Did he even say anything to you?”  Raine was beginning to understand her son’s personality a little better each day, and wouldn’t have been surprised if he had ignored her.

“Yeah, he caught me before I face-planted and asked me if I was okay.”  She shook her head.  “I was mortified.  Here I was, a new instructor, and I just happen to fall into the arms of the devastatingly handsome Commander.   I couldn’t duplicate it if I tried.”

Raine loved hearing about Squall, even if it was to the tune of his embarrassment.  “Did you make the first move, or did he?”  She winked at Jane, then couldn’t believe that she had just asked such a personal question.  She hoped the young woman wouldn’t be offended or think she was digging too much.

Jane smiled.  “We kept running into each other around Garden, you know, just passing by in the halls, staff meetings.  Stuff like that.  One day we found ourselves in the elevator again, and he asked me what my name was.  Needless to say, I almost lost my shit.  I mean, by that time I was really into him, but didn’t know if he even remembered me.  Wishful thinking on my part turned out to be true.”  She smiled softly.  “We went out to dinner the next night, secretly mind you, and the rest is history.”

“Elle mentioned that you two kept your relationship under wraps for quite a while.”

“Yeah, we both agreed that with us both working at Garden, and him being the Commander, it would probably be best if we didn’t romp around in public right away.  I mean, you know how rumors start and word gets around.  We didn’t want to deal with prying eyes anyway.”  She sighed.  “I realized really fast how private he was, and was totally okay with keeping our relationship secret.  Once we had been together for several months, we were going to attend a charity dinner together and somehow the press got the info and leaked it the day before.  Then we were out to the world!”

Raine was so happy that Jane and Squall had a good life together.  She really wanted to know if they had talked marriage or not, but was unsure if she wanted to press the subject.  She didn’t want it to sound like she was trying to get tons of information out of her.  She decided to ask anyway, her curiosity was getting the better of her.

“Have you…well, talked about marriage?”

Jane’s eyes lit up, and her cheeks flushed.  “Not officially.  Although I have been leaving bridal magazines around my apartment in choice places.”  She raised an eyebrow.  “I don’t know if he got the hint or not.”  The young woman finished her tea.  “I’d love to get married.  _Someday._   I know that he has a hard time getting close to people, but I feel like we’ve gotten past that awkwardness.  I love him with all my heart, and I know that he loves me.”  She smiled softly, her eyes twinkling.  “We just passed a year now, so I guess it’s something we could start thinking about.”

Raine loved hearing how happy they were together.  They both deserved a wonderful life with one another, and she was so glad she was there to witness it.  She decided not to press such a personal subject any further and count her blessings that Jane had allowed her to hear about their personal lives like she had.  Even though she desperately wanted to ask if Jane wanted to have children someday, she let it go for the time being.  Raine knew she would have all the time in the world to ask her more questions.  Raine decided to change the subject.

“How’s his wound?  He said he got eleven stitches?”

Jane nodded, finishing her cupcake.  “It’s alright, I guess.  I changed the dressings this morning and it looked pretty gnarly.  Not infected or anything, but it’s ugly.  He’s gonna be pissed, it sliced his tattoo in half.”

Raine cringed.  “I’m glad I was here to help last night.  He was so wobbly; I thought he was going to fall over before I could get him into bed.”

Jane looked Raine straight in the eyes.  “I’m glad you were here, too.  He doesn’t like to admit it—like, ever—but he does need help from time to time.  Thank you for being there for him.”  She smiled very sincerely.

“It felt good to me able to be a Mom to him, if only for several minutes.” 

A rustling at the balcony door caused both women to turn.  Squall stood there, bracing his body weight on the doorframe with his hand. 

Jane got up and embraced him.  “Hey, sleepyhead.  Look who came to visit…and she brought cupcakes!”

Squall looked towards Raine and nodded.  “Hello, Raine.”  His voice still held on to the remnants of his drug-induced sleep.  She could hear the fatigue in his tone. 

“Hi, Squall.  I just came by to see how you were doing.”  Raine stood, brushing a few crumbs from her lap.  “Well, I should be going.  I’m sure you two want to have a quiet afternoon.”  She hoped he would offer to walk her to the door.  She saw Squall motion with his head for Jane to stay on the balcony.

“It was really nice to gab with you, Raine.  I hope we can do it again really soon.”  Jane extended her hand to shake Raine’s. 

“Likewise, Jane.  Take good care of him, okay?”

The petite woman nodded and smiled, wrapping her arm around Squall’s waist.  “If he’ll let me.”

Squall wiggled out of her grasp.  “I’ll walk you to the door.”

Raine wanted to let her smile wash over her face, but didn’t want to seem too excited at the prospect of something as trivial as being shown out of a home.  She followed him to the door, watching as he gingerly rubbed at the wound on his shoulder.  He turned to face her at the entryway.

“Are you okay?  It doesn’t hurt too much, does it?”  Raine looked up into his deep blue eyes.

“I’m fine.  I just need to rest for a day or two and I’ll be back to normal.”  He slid the door open. 

Raine was unsure what to do.  She knew this was her cue to leave, but she was curious to see whether or not he would thank her for the care she gave him the night before.  They stood in silence for what seemed like an eternity.  Squall bit his lower lip. 

Raine smiled softly.  It looked like she wasn’t going to get anything else out of him.  She was a bit disappointed, but knew it was just his nature.  She was still overjoyed that she had received his secret thanks, even if it had more than likely been drug-induced, yesterday.  She took what he gave her.

“Will you be attending the charity ball on Saturday?”  She knew the answer, but just wanted to hear his voice one more time before she went home.

“Yes.  It’s required.”

Raine nodded.  “Well then, I guess I’ll see you there.  If…if we don’t run into each other sooner.”  She had a hopeful glint in her eyes.

“I’ll see you Saturday.”

She entered the hallway and turned to face Squall one more time.  She waved slightly, wiggling her fingers in the air.  “Bye, Squall.  Enjoy the cupcakes.”

He nodded and closed the door.

Heading back to the patio, he stopped in the kitchen to grab a glass of milk.  Those cupcakes looked rich.

He sat at the table and reached for one of the cakes.  Unwrapping it, he made eye contact with Jane.  “So, what did you guys talk about?”

Jane didn’t miss a beat.  She very nonchalantly replied, “Marriage.”

Squall stopped peeling the paper from his cupcake and arched an eyebrow.  He noticed her smirk instantly, feeling the heat of his cheeks blushing.  “You didn’t.  Did you?”

She took her glasses off and wiped them clean on the hem of her shirt.  “You bet, buster.  She brought it up though, not me.”  She laughed slightly as Squall snorted.  She scooted her chair closer to his.  “She’s glad she was able to come and help you yesterday.”

Squall chose not to acknowledge, and instead shoved half the pastry into his mouth.  He hoped that would be enough of a sign for her to drop the subject.

“Did you at least thank her for taking care of you when you walked her out?”

He took another bite.  “No.  Why?”

Jane rolled her eyes and huffed.  “You’re so dense sometimes, you know that, Leonhart?”

“What?  I thanked her yesterday.  She knows I’m…grateful.”  He averted his eyes, picking at the tiny sprinkles that had fell on to the tabletop. 

“Well, it doesn’t hurt to thank her again and again.  Let her know how much you really appreciated it.  I know from the looks of you when I came by last night, you were in no shape to take care of yourself.”

“Whatever.”  He balled up the cupcake paper and tossed it onto the platter.  They sat in peace for a long moment, Squall finishing his milk and Jane picking at chipping nail polish on her thumb.

He finally decided to break the silence.  “So, did you take the whole day off?”

Jane looked up from her finger and smiled.  “Yes sir.  No classes today, although I do have some papers to grade.”  She wrinkled her nose in disgust.  “Don’t want to, though.”

Squall sighed.  “Well, what _do_ you want to do?”

Jane got a mischievous grin on her face.  “Well, I would like nothing more than to jump you and fuck you senseless, but since I suspect your shoulder is still a little tender…”

Completely stone faced, Squall replied, “Who says I have to be on my back?”

Jane feigned modesty, pretending to be abhorred by his racy response.  “Leonhart, you dirty dog.”

 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_A/N:  I have a shirt just like Jane’s, except it’s a T-rex instead of a T-rexaur.  It’s one of my favorites, and it was just too perfect of a shirt to pass up._

_Oh, and if you get the reference with Jane’s last name…you get 15,000 EXP, 50 AP and an Elixir.  Plus, ultimate nerd bragging rights._

 

 

 

 


	46. Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-five

Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-five

                _“Mom?”_

_Raine turned, peering into the dark house from the bright sunlit patio.  She smiled when she heard the voice.  It had been so long since he had been home.  She worried day and night that he wouldn’t make it back at all._

_“Mom?  You here?”_

_She sprinkled the last drops of water from the watering can on her herb garden and made her way inside.  “Right here, sweetheart.”_

_Squall smiled broadly, extending his arms out in preparation to embrace her.  “I missed you, Mom.  Sorry I didn’t call, the mission was behind enemy lines.”  He looked exhausted, and was sporting a rather nasty black eye._

_Raine moved close and wrapped her arms around his waist.  He winced, and she let go._

_“Should have warned you.  I’ve got a couple cracked ribs.  Don’t worry though, I’ll be fine.”  He smiled warmly, trying to soothe her concern._

**[[[…………]]]**

_“Come and sit down.  Your Dad is working late, so it’s just us for the time being.”  She started a kettle boiling.  “Tea?”_

_Squall sat, trying to carefully adjust his body in the chair so there would be no pressure on his ribcage.  “Tea sounds great, thank you.”_

_Raine prepared two cups as the kettle began to sing.  “Can I ask where you were?  Now that your mission is over…it **is** over, right?” _

_Squall dipped his teabag into the mug, steeping the leaves in the boiling water.  “Yes, it’s over.  The only thing I can tell you is that I wasn’t in Galbadia.”  He shifted uncomfortably in his chair._

_Raine recognized this behavior.  She knew it all too well.  He was hurt worse than he let on.  “Where else are you injured?  I can tell that there’s more.”_

**[[[…………]]]**

_He huffed a lock of hair from in front of his eyes.  “What makes you think there’s more?”_

_Raine stared him down.  “You can’t sit in the same position for more than a minute.  Don’t lie to me, Squall.”_

_The young man sighed and looked down to his tea.  He reluctantly sat back and lifted the hem of his shirt, revealing a square of gauze taped over the bottom of his lower-left ribcage, blood seeping through its layers.  “It’s not as bad as it looks.  The bullet practically fell out.”_

_Raine covered her mouth in shock.  She hated it when he came back with serious injuries.  And it bothered her even more when he tried to cover it up.  He got that from his father.  The two of them never wanted to worry her._

_“Are you sure you’re alright?  Do you need to see the village doctor?”  She sipped her tea, trying to hide her concern behind the mug._

_“I’ll be fine.  I’m tough, Mom.  You don’t have to worry.”  He smiled, reaching his hand out over the table to pat Raine’s lightly._

_Raine heard the front door open, and was excited that Laguna was finally home.  He would be so happy to see his son.  She turned, and where she expected to find her husband coming through the kitchen door, instead a robed figure, face completely obscured, floated into the room._

_Squall snarled at the creature, jumping up so fast he knocked over his chair.  He grabbed his gunblade and raised it to ready position.  “Who the hell are you?  Get out before I kill you where you stand.”_

_The individual raised its hand to the hood.  Squall tightened his grip on the hilt of his weapon and inched closer to the target._

_“Don’t move, or I’ll slice you in two!”_

_In one flick of the wrists, the figure dropped the hood around its head._

_It was Ash._

**[[[…………]]]**

_“Ash?  What are you doing here?  You’re…you’re dead.”  Raine was confused.  Why was he here in her home?  Where did he come from?_

_Squall snarled again, his hands quaking with anger.  “You’re dead meat.  No one hurts my mother the way you did.  NO ONE!”  He charged at the man, swinging the blade wildly._

_In an instant, Ash disappeared, leaving Squall to crash head first into a wall of cabinets.  Dazed, he picked himself up off the floor and looked around frantically.  “Where the hell did he go?”  He stood up straight and challenged, “Come out and fight me like a man!”_

_Raine ran to her son’s side, cowering behind him.  “I’m scared, Squall.”_

_He stiffened his posture and leaned back into her slightly.  “Go hide. I’ll find that bastard and deal with him.  I won’t let him hurt you again.”_

_Raine heard ferocity in his voice that had never shown itself before.  She obeyed, darting into a small hall closet.  When she was safely hidden, she heard her son’s heavy footsteps outside the door as they moved down the hall and into the next room._

_“You’re only making this worse for yourself, you piece of shit!  You’re going to regret coming here!”_

**[[[…………]]]**

_She heard Squall walking around the living room of the house.  His gunblade scraped along the floor, taunting Ash.  “You think you can just waltz in here and show your face?  After what you did to her?”  He began moving again, and Raine heard him open the front closet.  “You can’t hide forever. I **will** find you.  And when I do…”  _

_Raine cowered in between hanging jackets, sinking back into the deepest recesses of the closet.  Closing her eyes, she said a silent prayer and pleaded with Hyne to keep her and Squall safe.  She was afraid of what Ash might do if cornered.  She knew Squall was a trained soldier, but Ash was unpredictable and Raine feared for her son.  His injuries made him vulnerable._

_“You know, you’re supposed to be dead…I can arrange it so that actually happens.”  Squall’s footsteps started again as he walked around the corner and into the parlor.  Raine heard the crystal glassware in the china cabinet clink together as his boots clunked on the hardwood floors.  “I can’t promise it won’t be painless though.  It’s been a day since I’ve had to kill someone.  The urge to slice you in half is really strong.”_

_Raine’s ears suddenly began to ring, and she felt herself being pulled from the closet.  She seemed to pass right through the walls, as if she were mist.  Within seconds, she was standing in the same room with her son, holding her hands out straight in Squall’s direction.  She looked down just in time to see a pistol in her hands and watched in horror as her finger twitched, squeezing the trigger…_

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Laguna slung a towel around his waist and exited the bathroom.  Raine was still lying in bed, her arm thrown over her eyes.  He padded over to his wife and sat on the edge of the bed, causing it to dip and startle her.

“Hyne, Laguna!   You scared the daylights out of me!”  She slapped him on the bare back.  

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to, honest.”  He turned to face her.  “You feelin’ okay?  It’s not like you to still be in bed at this hour.”  He placed his palm on her forehead.

Raine sat up slightly, propping herself up on her elbows.  “I’ve just got a little headache, that’s all.  I didn’t sleep well last night.”  She scooted over to allow Laguna to sit next to her.

“Bad dreams?”  He propped a pillow up against the headboard and sat back, placing his arm around her shoulders. 

Raine nestled into his body.  “Yeah.  It was about Squall.  I…”  She hesitated, sighing heavily.  “…I don’t really want to talk about what happened in the dream.  But, there was a ‘weirdness’ to it that I can’t explain.  Like something extra.”

“Extra?  How so?”

She sat up, moving out of Laguna’s embrace.  Turning to face him, she crossed her legs under her body.  “It was like there was this voice.   It wasn’t saying anything that I could understand, but more like a whisper.  I could hear it, but I didn’t know what it was saying.” 

“A voice?  Did you recognize it?”

Raine’s brow furrowed.  “That’s the thing.  I feel like I knew who it was, yet…it was foreign.  It was just _there_ , you know?  In the background, as if it belonged in whatever was going on.”  She shuddered visibly.  “It weirded me out, and I woke up feeling very uneasy.”

Laguna sat silently for a moment.  He hated seeing her troubled.  “Look, you’ve been through a whole hell of a lot these past three weeks.  I’d chalk it up to the stress finally catchin’ up with you.” 

Raine nodded and ran her hand across Laguna’s lower leg.  “You’re probably right.”

Laguna could tell that she was trying to put on a brave face, but was still bothered by her dream.  “Tell you what, if you are still freaked out and have trouble sleeping again tonight, we can ask the Palace doctors if they can recommend anything to help.”  He cupped her chin and lifted her face so her eyes met his own.  “Okay?”

She smiled and batted her eyes.  “Sure.  Just as long as they don’t try what Ash did.  I hated that damn earpiece that played soothing sounds.  It helped me sleep, but felt like I had a rock shoved in my ear.”

“He gave you something to help you sleep?  Did you want to go get it?  It might help again.” 

Raine scowled.  “No way.  I don’t want anything from that place.”  She knelt on the mattress next to Laguna.  “As long as I have you by my side at night, I’ll sleep better.”  She kissed him on the cheek and climbed over him, out of bed. 

Satisfied that he had helped Raine for the time being, he rolled out of bed, his towel falling to the floor.  Raine turned at the exact right moment to see a completely nude Laguna. 

She giggled, pretending to be shocked.  “Laguna Loire!”

He blushed, then puffed his chest out with pride.  “Hey, I got nothin’ to hide!  You takin’ a shower?  I might just join you…”  He began to move towards Raine, who shrieked and scampered into the bathroom, with Laguna right on her heels.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“…”

“Yeah, Laguna.  Where’s Squall?”  Kiros folded his cards.  “Although, I do admit it’s nice hanging on to my money longer than usual.”

The trio sat in Laguna’s den, their monthly poker game in full swing.  The President took a swig of his beer and tossed a few coins in the pot.  “He said his shoulder hurt.”  The disappointment on Laguna’s face was evident.

“Well, he’s missing out.  Look at you with all that money just begging to be taken.”  Kiros smirked and grabbed a small sandwich.  He had to admit, their poker games took on a whole new level of pleasure now that Raine was around to make the food.  No more take-out for them.

“…”

“Ward says quit moping.  He’ll come play next month.”

Laguna sighed.  “I know he probably really is in pain and all, but…”  He watched as Ward flipped a five-Gil piece into the ante.  “…I just hope that’s really all there is to it.  I’d hate to think he’s avoiding his mother.”  He folded his hand, prompting Ward to grab the money with a sly smile.

“Why don’t we call it a night, huh guys?”  Laguna exhaled deeply, beginning to gather the cards scattered across the table.  It just wasn’t the same without Squall, even if the young man wouldn’t have said much anyway.

Kiros and Ward exchanged concerned glances.  Laguna never gave up this easily. 

“…”

“Hey man, Ward’s right.  You can’t worry about what Squall is thinking.”  Ward knocked on the table to get Laguna’s attention and nodded forcefully.  “He’s already making progress with her, I mean, he actually let her take care of him a couple of days ago.  That’s huge.” 

Laguna finished his beer.  “I know.  And I know that she’s happy that she got to spend more time with him.”  He lowered his eyes to the table top.  “I just wish he’d stop being so aloof with her.”

Kiros snickered.  “Listen to you with your big words.  You sound more and more presidential every day.  Too bad it took you over twenty years to do so.”  Ward snorted and tried to hide a smile.  “Come on, Laguna.  Don’t be so hard on him.  He’s doing the best he can with a very awkward situation.  And I think he’s progressing with leaps and bounds.  Just keep giving him his space.  You’re doing the right thing by letting him breathe a little.”

Laguna knew his friends were right.  He always valued their opinions and advice.  He just had to give Squall a little wiggle room right now.  And if Raine was okay with letting him brood every from time to time, then so was he. 

“Thanks, guys.  You sure are great pals.” 

“…” 

“Ward says that’s what we’re here for.  That, and taking all your money because you’re a shit poker player.”

 


	47. Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-six

Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-six

                _“…We’re awaiting the arrival of President and Mrs. Loire here on Esthar Channel Seven.  This will be the first public appearance for Mrs. Loire, and I think I can safely speak for all the citizens of Esthar when I say we can’t wait any longer!  Wait…is it?  Yes!  The President and First Lady have arrived!...”_

Raine’s eyes had no time to adjust to the pop of flashbulbs as they entered the hallway leading to the Grand Ballroom of Esthar Garden.  It seemed like every member of the press from all the news agencies around the globe were there.

And they all wanted a glimpse of her.

She felt Laguna’s arm tighten around her as he guided her through the doors.  He turned his head and he smiled, his emerald eyes twinkling.

They stopped every few steps for photos, journalists asking questions, hopeful for a response.  Laguna and Raine just smiled at them.  Secretary Jorden had asked them not to engage the press.

_“Beautiful dress, Mrs. Loire!  Who designed it?”_

_“Mister President!  Do you ever plan on revealing the identities and affiliation of the scientists involved with your wife’s project?”_

_“Mrs. Loire!  Have you spent any quality time with Commander Leonhart?”_

_“President Loire!  How does it feel to have your wife back?”_

Laguna stopped briefly and uttered one word.

“Wonderful.”

The couple moved along the red carpet holding hands and smiling for the hundreds of photos being snapped.  Laguna bent in close and whispered through his smile.  “You doin’ okay?”  He squeezed Raine’s hand. 

She tightened her fingers around his and looked up into his eyes as they paused for yet another picture.  “You bet.”

The photographers took advantage of the perfect photo-op with the President and First Lady lovingly looking into each other’s eyes to bombard them with camera flashes. 

They neared the end of the hallway and the grand silver doors to the ballroom swung open.  The couple stopped just before the entrance, turning to face the crowd of photojournalists one more time. 

_“Mister President!  How’s about a kiss?”_

Laguna looked to Raine and shrugged his shoulders with a wink.  “What the hell.” 

The pair indulged the press and shared a quick kiss, the crowd erupting with cheers and flashbulbs.  Laguna broke the embrace and led Raine into the ballroom, waving back at the crowd as the doors closed.

The music in the room was soft, the hum of the crowd talking sending a strange through the area.  As soon as the couple entered, it seemed as though everyone in the place stopped what they were doing and turned to stare.  Laguna scratched the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly.  “Uhhh, hey everybody.”  He waved, a slightly embarrassed look on his face.  “You can all go back to enjoying the party.  I’m sure we’ll have a chance to gab with everyone.”

Most of the guests laughed and went back to their conversations.  Laguna was relieved that they weren’t bowled over the moment they entered.  Sam had seen to it that each guest was instructed to give Laguna and Raine some space, and that they would all certainly get a chance to meet the new First Lady.

They stood for a moment, taking in the sights of the grand ballroom.  Raine craned her neck skyward, in awe of the giant glass ceiling.  She could see the spires of the buildings around her, glowing in the night sky.  It was breathtaking.

She lowered her eyes back to the room, then to Laguna.  “This is incredible.  It’s hard to believe that we’re in a military academy right now.” 

Laguna chuckled.  “Well, Garden may be about guns and ammo, but they do have a fun side.  They like to throw a lot of parties.”  Laguna scratched his neck.  “I’ll have to introduce you to a friend of Squall’s sometime.  Her name is Selphie, and she is the party-planning queen.  And, well, she’s sorta got a crush on me.”  Embarrassment crept across Laguna’s face.

“A crush?  Well, I can see why.  You’re pretty good looking, Mister President.”

Laguna took firm hold of Raine’s hand and led her into the party.  They mingled for a while, meeting with various dignitaries and donors.  Raine had to marvel at the philanthropic endeavors of Garden.  They sure knew how to woo contributors.  The party was lavish, but not over the top.  It was a very friendly atmosphere, not stuffy like Raine had imagined a charity ball to be.  She knew that this money would be going to orphans, so it was most likely in Garden’s best interest not to have the party be too out of touch with reality.

Raine scanned the room, looking for Squall.  She knew he was required to attend, and hoped that Jane would be accompanying him.  She had truly enjoyed her time with the young woman, and looked forward to seeing her again. 

Not seeing her son, she settled into small conversations with Laguna and other guests, enjoying the contact with other people.  She had been isolated for so long out in the desert, that even in the few weeks since her return, she still felt strange around a lot of people.  It wasn’t that she didn’t like being with others, but it had been so long since she had been around so many people at the same time, that it was a bit overwhelming.  She stuck close to Laguna’s side, taking her cues from him and letting him know when the attention got to be too much. 

Everyone that approached them was very nice and seemed to know not to bother Raine too much with questions that she heard over and over again.  They all appeared to be genuinely interested in her new life in Esthar.  No one pried about her time at the lab, even if it was fabricated.  Everyone was very pleasant.

They mingled for over an hour, sampling appetizers and wine.  She met dignitaries, including the Trabian ambassador that Laguna hoped couldn’t manage an invite.  She enjoyed the small-talk, and relished in the fact that she was by her husband’s side the whole time. 

Raine decided that she very much enjoyed the life of a First Lady, getting to know people from around the world and helping with charity.  She made a mental note to get in touch with the head of the charity organization for Garden and volunteer her services for next year’s benefit. 

She listened as Laguna and some wealthy Estharian executive talked, her husband beaming with pride over Squall’s latest mission success.  Apparently, he had single-handedly taken down five assailants and managed to rescue two hostages.  All without ever getting a scratch.  She was mesmerized by Laguna’s voice, it comforted her and really made it hit home that she truly wasn’t dreaming.

“Raine! Laguna!”

Raine instantly recognized the voice as Kiros’ and spun around to find him.  He was walking towards them, a devastatingly handsome man on his arm.  Raine cocked her head slightly.  She wasn’t prepared for Kiros to attend the ball with another man.  All of a sudden, everything fell into place in her mind.  The scarves and handbags, the fashion advice.  The fact that he never mentioned a wife, but a partner. 

“Hey, Kiros, Ewan.  Great party, huh?”  Laguna shook both men’s hands.  “Raine, I’d like to introduce you to Ewan.  He and Kiros have been together, man…has it really been five years?”

Kiros wrapped his arm around Ewan, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.  “Five years last month.”

Ewan extended his hand to Raine.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Raine.  I’ve been waiting for this opportunity since you arrived in Esthar.”

The young man was tall and slender, with a thick shock of red hair atop his head.  She immediately noticed how absolutely in love the pair seemed.  They looked at each other with stars in their eyes.  Raine wondered if that’s how she and Laguna looked to the rest of the world.  She would be elated if they did.

“The pleasure is mine, Ewan.”  Raine smiled broadly at the young man and gasped slightly as he bent to kiss her hand.  “And let me just say, your suit is exquisite.  I’ve never seen such a beautiful shade of lavender in my life.” 

Ewan snorted.  “This old thing?  I dust it off every once and a while.  I figured since it was spring, light purple would be appropriate.  I’m glad you like it…unlike _someone._ ”  He rolled his eyes and motioned his head towards Kiros.

Raine stifled a giggle.  She liked Ewan already. 

“Raine, you look simply stunning.”  Kiros took her hand and held her arm out straight, attempting to get a better look at the dress.  “Scarlet suits you.”

“I was worried it would be a little to risqué for the event.  I’m glad to see that it’s not.” 

Laguna put his arm around Raine.  “I’m sure one lucky guy to have such a knockout wife!”  Laguna looked around the room and behind Kiros and Ewan.  “Hey, where’s the big guy?”

Kiros grabbed a flute of champagne off of a passing waiter’s tray.  “Sick.  Personally, I think he’s just trying to get out of wearing a suit.”

The two couples conversed for several minutes, stopping periodically to take well-wishes from passing attendees.  After a few moments, Raine gently tugged on Laguna’s arm.  “I wonder where Squall is.  He said it was required for him to attend.  I hope something isn’t wrong with his wound.” 

 “I’m sure he’s fine.  Jane has a tendency to run late, so my money’s on her.”  He winked and turned towards the door.  “Well, speak of the devil.”

Raine moved so she could see around Laguna.  The flashbulbs from outside strobed into the ballroom and two figures appeared at the door.  She sighed when she saw Squall, dressed in his SeeD uniform.  Jane was right beside him, in a short royal purple cocktail dress.  She held on to Squall’s arm, waving to someone across the room.

Laguna waved wildly, trying to get their attention.  “Hey!  Squall!  Over here!”

Even in the low light of the room, Raine swore she saw Squall sigh heavily at Laguna’s excitement.  The couple approached their small group, Jane’s dress shimmering as the tulle bottom caught the air.

Raine couldn’t help but stare at her son in his dress uniform.  She loved the intricate embroidered pauldrons, the gold trim on his shoulders.  She instantly noticed one difference from all the other uniformed members of SeeD, though.  Squall’s chest was adorned with several medals and ribbons, along with an insignia that she didn’t see on any other officer. 

“Hey Squall.”  Laguna scratched his neck, then extended his hand to his son.  “Nice to see you again, Jane.  It’s been too long.”

“Likewise, Mister President.”  Jane shook Laguna’s hand.

“Hey now, what did I tell you about that _Mister President_ business?  Call me Laguna.”

Jane chuckled.  “Alright, _Laguna._   And Raine, it’s so nice to see you again.  You look absolutely beautiful in that dress.”

Raine smiled at the complement.  “Thank you, Jane.  I must agree that I love this gown.  And you really pull off that short dress well.  Not a lot of women could do that.”

Jane smiled and twirled around, puffing the bottom hem out.  “Thanks.  I really love it, and that’s saying something since I usually despise getting all gussied up.”  She stopped her spinning, using Squall to steady herself. 

Kiros chimed in, reaching out to help the dizzy young woman.  “I really admire the fact that you aren’t wearing heels.  Somehow I don’t think you are the type to conform to today’s fashion.” 

Jane snorted.  “I can’t walk in the damn things.  I’d fall flat on my ass.”

Raine looked up at her stoic son.  “You look very handsome, Squall.” 

“Thank you.”

She eyed him hopefully.  “Can I ask you about those medals?  And that insignia, is that your rank?”  She extended her finger and tapped the emblem lightly. 

“Yes, it’s my rank.  As for the medals, I really don’t like wearing them.  They draw too much attention.  The Headmaster thinks it’s good for Garden’s image, though.”  His face was stern.  It was obvious to Raine that he didn’t feel like discussing each award in depth.

A waiter stopped, offering the group more champagne.  Jane took two glasses, handing one to Squall.  “Doesn’t Raine look beautiful, Squall?”

He drank from the glass, not offering a response.

An awkward silence fell upon the group, and they all stood in a little circle, drinking.  Laguna finally chimed in and broke the silence.

“So, Jane, still working on what I taught you at the holidays?”  He had a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“You betcha.  I can make it to ‘F’ now before I run out of air.”  She smiled, obviously proud of her achievement.

Raine groaned.  “Don’t tell me you’re teaching her your hidden talent.”

Squall rolled his eyes and spoke up.  “Unfortunately, yes.”

Jane howled, grabbing Laguna’s hand.  “They don’t appreciate raw talent, Laguna.  Come out on the balcony later and I’ll let you hear my progress.”  She smiled with a wink.

The band began playing a slow waltz, and Laguna extended his hand to Raine. 

“Oh Laguna, why don’t you take a spin with Jane?  I’ll stay here with Squall.”  She saw her son stiffen out of the corner of her eye.  She was hopeful that she would get a dance with him.

Laguna eyed her curiously.  “Are you sure?”

“Positive.  You two have fun.”  She leaned in and whispered to Jane.  “Watch out, he has two left feet.”

“Oh sure, now I know why you didn’t want to dance with him,” Jane quipped with a sly smile as she allowed Laguna to lead her out onto the dance floor.

Kiros and Ewan excused themselves and Raine and Squall were left standing alone.  They stood silently for a long moment, watching the dancing pairs on the marble dance floor, the moon high above reflecting on its mirror finish.

Raine moved a few inches closer to her son.  “So, aren’t you going to ask me to dance?”  She looked hopefully into his eyes.

“No.”  He turned his attention back to the dancers.

Raine was slightly taken aback.  “Oh.”  She fidgeted her champagne glass in her hands.  “Can I ask why not?”

Squall sighed. “I don’t dance.”

_Well, at least it’s not because of me._

“You don’t dance?  Not even with Jane?  Or Ellone?”

Squall kept looking forward, never breaking his eye contact with the middle of the room.  “Nope.”

“Well, that’s too bad.  I bet you’d be a graceful dance partner.”  Raine lowered her eyes to the ground and traced the junction of some of the tiles with the toe of her shoe. 

She heard her son sigh and jumped when she felt his hand touch the bare skin of her arm.  He lightly tapped her bicep to get her attention.  “Come on, let’s get a drink.”

She could see the somewhat guilty look on his face, and had to suppress the urge to smile.  She knew that him making physical contact with her must have taken all his willpower.  No wonder he needed a drink.

Raine accompanied him to the bar, feeling the collective eyes of the crowd follow them.  She wondered if they were looking more at her or Squall.  He flagged down the bartender and motioned to Raine to order first. 

She set down her empty glass on the bar top and thought for a moment.  “Do you have red wine?”  The bartender nodded.  “That sounds lovely.”

The man uncorked a fresh bottle and poured.  “And for you, Commander?”

“Scotch on the rocks.”

Raine laughed into her glass, capturing Squall’s attention.

“What’s so funny?”  He accepted his own glass and took a sip. 

“Nothing.  It’s just weird for me to see you drinking alcohol.  Sometimes in my mind, you’re still four hours old.”  She sighed and took a long sip of her wine.  “It’s taking a little getting used to seeing you as an adult, that’s all.”

“Whatever.”  He motioned for her to follow.  “Let’s go out on the balcony, where it’s private.”

They exited the ballroom and found themselves on a grand balcony.  There were several benches lining the marble railing.  Raine followed her son to the edge and watched as he set his glass down and leaned his hands on the smooth stone.  She came to a stop next to him, the brisk warm night breeze whipping up from underneath the balcony, mussing her hair.  She swept it from her face as she turned to look at him.

He stood silently, as if deep in thought.  She studied him as he stared out into the city, the glowing light of the metropolis softly illuminating his angular features.  From the side, he looked more like Laguna.  Sipping her wine, she looked away from him and to the horizon.

“This city sure is something.  I never in my wildest dreams ever thought I would see it.”

The young man beside her offered no response.  She decided to continue, and perhaps she would elicit some kind of reaction from him.  “You know, when I was living in Winhill, even the mention of the name ‘Esthar’ made me feel ill.  I never wanted anything to do with it.  Those soldiers came in waves, relentless.  They murdered villagers in cold blood, including your sister’s biological parents.  Then they took her…twice.”  She closed her eyes momentarily as the wind blew across her face.  “And now, here I am, the First Lady.  Your Dad is the President and it’s an entirely transformed city.  It’s amazing what twenty years will do.”

She saw him lift his glass to his lips out of the corner of her eye.  When he didn’t speak, she decided to stay silent for a moment.  It was beginning to feel awkward.  Raine wondered why he would suggest that they move to the balcony and then clam up.  She was startled when he finally spoke up.

“About Tuesday…”  He hesitated, and Raine took the opportunity to speak.

“You don’t have to say anything, Squall.”

He sighed and sipped his scotch.  “Yes I do.  I just wanted to…thank you.  For taking care of me.” 

She could hear the discomfort in his voice.  She smiled in the darkness.  She knew he had been under the influence of pain medication when he told her it had felt nice to have her take care of him.  So, him thanking her again when he was sober was a nice feeling.

He sighed again.  “It takes a lot for me to ask for help.  It’s not something I usually have to do.  I know I said that I didn’t need any help that day, but…I’m grateful that you were there.”  He turned to face her.  “Looking back, I realize I was in no shape to have been able to do the things you did for me.  So, thank you.”  He leaned his body onto his hands on the balcony top.

Raine took a chance and placed her hand on top of his.  She was relieved when he didn’t remove his hand from her grasp.  “I was just doing what a mother would do to help her child.  You don’t have to thank me.”

He nodded.  “Over the last few days, I’ve begun to realize that maybe I was acting a bit rash in the beginning.”  He exhaled deeply.  “I’ll admit that I may not ever be completely comfortable with having a mother around, I mean…”  He hesitated, and Raine could tell that his words were troubling him.  “…Hell, I still have a hard time accepting Laguna every now and then.  But, I want you to know that I’m willing to make an effort to work on our relationship.”

He stared out at the cityscape.  “This whole situation just caught me off guard, and I know that I didn’t react how you expected me to.  I’m…”  He sighed heavily again, hesitant.  Raine was so grateful that he was expressing his feelings to her, for she knew that this was a rare occurrence.  “…I’m sorry…if I hurt you.”

Raine watched as he hung his head.  It broke her heart to see him distressed, but at the same time she was glad to hear an apology.  His behavior had hurt her feelings, made her feel like less of a mother because he was unwilling to let her in close.  She had spent countless hours trying to figure out what she had done to deserve his harsh treatment, without ever coming to a conclusion.  It boggled her mind that her own flesh and blood would think she was out to hurt the family.  It just didn’t make any sense as to how he could think of her like that.  She knew he was emotionally complex, and had a hard time dealing with feelings sometimes, but it still bothered her that she could never figure it out. 

Now, here he was, actually apologizing to her for the way he acted.  He didn’t elaborate about why he had behaved the way he did, but she was taking this as a win.  Raine knew she might never get a clear answer about how his mind was working during that time, and decided to let it drop.  She was just glad that it finally seemed like they could move on.

She patted his hand.  “Thank you for the apology.  I know that it’s been a tough time for all of us.  I can’t imagine what it’s like to suddenly hear that your dead mother is very much alive.  And I know it must have been doubly difficult to have all those doubts swimming around in your head during this whole situation.”  She took a chance and laced her fingers through his, feeling the warmth of his skin.  She was so happy when he didn’t pull away.  “I’m overjoyed that you feel comfortable enough with me to try and move on.  It means the world to me to have my son in my life.”

Squall swallowed hard and nodded.  “I just want things to be back to normal.  I mean, as normal as they can be.”

“This _is_ our new normal, and I’m ready to embrace it if you are.”  Raine was astonished when she felt his fingers tighten slightly around her own.  “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

Raine smiled softly in the low light of the balcony.  “I never really thought about having children.  I mean, Ellone was a handful, the pub took up way too much of my time, and I helped everybody in Winhill with all of their problems.  It just never seemed like I would have time for a baby, and a part of me was alright with it.”  She took a sip of her wine.  “But then I met your father, and before I knew it I had fallen in love and gotten married.  We were a happy little family, Laguna, Elle and I.”

Raine’s smile turned upside-down.  “But then those soldiers came and took Ellone.  I’ve never been so terrified in my life.  And your father…he charged out of Winhill with the intent on taking down the entire Estharian army if he had to, just to bring her home.  You know, I always knew he’d be a great father; after all, he’s a kid at heart. But when he went off without a care for his own safety to rescue a child that wasn’t even his own, I knew that I wanted to have a child with him.  I knew it in my heart that he would be the best father ever.”  Raine paused for a moment, recalling the memory of Laguna leaving her.  “Things were supposed to be different.  He was supposed to have found her and brought her back himself, so we could pick up where we had left off.”

“Are you resentful that he didn’t come back with Sis?”

“No.  Your dad is a man of honor.  I know he stayed because the people of Esthar needed him…and that he thought Elle and I would be okay until he came back.  I know that he never intended to stay as long as he did, and that if he knew that I had been pregnant, he would have sent for us.”

She heard Squall sigh.  “Did you know you were pregnant when he left?”

Raine shook her head.  “No.  I didn’t realize it until he had been gone for a few weeks.  I tried to contact him, but Adel had shut every line of communication down.  There was no way to tell him.  I just had to hope that he would return with Elle before you were born.”  She cast her eyes down at the streets below.  “I won’t lie, part of me was hurt that he didn’t come back with her, but he didn’t know any different.  Looking back, even if he had known about my pregnancy and come back, there’s no guarantee that the same thing wouldn’t have happened.  There’s a good chance I still would have died.”

Raine had to chuckle slightly at her next thought.  “You know, it’s weird.  In a bizarre sort of way, me dying ended up being a good thing.  I mean, now look at us.  We’re a family again.  If I had survived and we all had a life together from the start, you would have never been at Garden.  When Ultimecia attacked, you wouldn’t have been there to save the world.”  She shook her head in amazement.  “We could all be dead right now if it hadn’t have been for you.”

Raine heard him sigh.  She could tell the praise had bothered him.  She looked up at him, sensing that he was trying to find words.   

“Can I ask…”

“Commander Leonhart!  There you are!”

The pair both turned to find a flustered cadet, red faced and out of breath.  “Sir, the Headmaster is looking for you.  The Trabian ambassador wants to meet you before he leaves.”

Squall nodded at the young man.  “I’ll be there in a minute.”

The cadet saluted, backing up towards the doors and disappearing into them. 

“I’ve got to go.  Maybe we can finish this conversation soon.”  He grabbed his glass.

“I’d like that.  Very much.”  She laughed slightly.  “Oh, and that Trabian ambassador?  Your dad says he can be a little gruff.”

Squall turned to walk back into the ballroom.  He paused at the sound of Raine’s voice once again.

“Squall?  Thank you.”

He looked at her quizzically.  “For what?”

Raine extended her arms.  “This.  This time we spent together.”

“You’re welcome.”  He started walking towards the doors once again, only to stop and turn and face her just before going back into the ballroom.  “Raine?”

She smiled hopefully, hanging on his words.  “Yes?”

He looked down at the glass in his hands, swirling it and making the ice clink against the sides.  “You look nice.”  He barely lifted his eyes to catch her own.

Raine smiled sweetly.  She could tell that the sentiment was sincere.  “Thank you.”  She watched him go, following him with her eyes as he began conversing with the Trabian Ambassador.    She spotted Laguna out of the corner of her eye, leaning against a column, watching her.  Watching them.

She motioned with her head for him to join her.  He came to stand next to her and put his arm around her waist.

“Where’s Jane?”

Laguna snorted.  “With one of her friends in the bathroom.  What is it with you ladies peeing together?”

Raine laughed and tightened her arms around Laguna’s torso.  “It’s not just about _peeing_ , Laguna.  It’s…you know what?  Nevermind.  It’s against the girl code to tell you what goes on behind those doors.  You wouldn’t get it.”

She felt his body shake as he laughed.  “I don’t understand you women sometimes.”  He held her closer and turned slightly, trying to keep the wind from hitting her by allowing his back to take most of the force.  “Did you and Squall have a nice talk?”

Raine nuzzled her face into Laguna’s lapels.  “Mmm-hmmm.  Just how long were you watching us?”

“Not too long, and I couldn’t hear anything.  But it seemed like he was more willing to talk this time.”

Raine sighed.  “He thanked me again for taking care of him.  And told me that he was sorry for his behavior when I first came home.”  She felt Laguna’s arms hold her closer.  “He also said that he is ready and willing to try and make some sort of relationship with me, although he was very honest with the fact that it might take him a long time, and that he might never be totally comfortable with it.”

“Are you okay with that?  Him not feeling one-hundred percent okay?”

Raine nodded.  “Yes.  I just want to have something with him.  And if that means it has to be whatever he is comfortable with, so be it.  I know that you two have a strained relationship sometimes, so in a way, maybe him working out his feelings about me with bring us all closer together.”

“You sure are an amazing woman, Raine Loire.”

Raine craned her neck to look up at her husband.  “We’re finally going to be a family Laguna.  That’s the amazing thing.” 

He leaned down and kissed her tenderly under the stars.

 


	48. Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-seven

Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-seven

                “Laguna!  Wake up!”

The figure next to Raine merely grunted and rolled over, pulling the blankets over his head. 

“Laguna!  We slept in!  You’re late for work!”  She shook his shoulders, trying to rouse him. 

He stretched his arms over his head, running a hand through his tangled hair.  “Calm down, Raine.”  He scowled when his fingers became ensnared in his locks.  “I took the day off.”  He flashed a grin.

Raine crossed her arms over her chest and huffed.  “Were you planning on telling me that before I had a coronary?” 

Laguna rolled over and propped his head up on his hand, smirking.  “No.  I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Raine flopped back on to her pillow, relieved that she didn’t have to rush Laguna out of the house.  “What made you decided to play hooky?”

Laguna inched closer to her, seductively tracing his fingers on her abdomen.  “Morning hanky-panky.”  He raised his eyebrows and grinned slyly, lifting her pajama top slightly.

Raine pretended to be shy, clamping her knees together and throwing her hands over her chest.  “Laguna Loire!  I’m not that kind of girl!”

Laguna smiled roguishly and moved on top of her.  “Yes you are.” 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Laguna and Raine strolled through the quiet halls of Esthar Garden.  Most of the students were in their classrooms, so there wasn’t a lot of traffic to snarl them.  Having decided to take the day off for “extra-curricular activities” the couple now had the afternoon to themselves.  Laguna figured the perfect way to spend that time was to take Raine on a tour of the Garden.

The walked hand in hand, acknowledging the few students in the halls with friendly smiles and waves.  Coming to the elevator, Laguna pressed the ‘up’ button.  “Let’s go see what Squall’s up to.”

Raine eyed him with caution.  “Are you sure he’d appreciate that?  I mean, he seems to be pretty no-nonsense when it comes to Garden.”  Secretly, she loved the idea of surprising him.  She wanted to see him on his work turf. 

The car came down and they got in, Raine leaning on the rail and looking out through the glass.  She steadied herself as the cab began to rise, carrying them high into the Garden.  She watched as the students milling around in the halls became smaller as they rose, finally disappearing as they crossed into the next floor and into the elevator shaft.  The doors opened into the faculty office level, and revealed a very sleek and modern looking area.  It reminded Raine of Squall’s apartment.  White tile floors, black doors and furniture, silver light fixtures mounted on the walls and hanging from the ceiling.  She wondered if he had given input into the design. 

Laguna took her by the hand and they made their way down the slightly curving hallway, following the shape of the oval Garden.  They stopped in front of a large door, adorned with a brass plaque reading “Squall Leonhart, Commander.”

“After you, my dear.”  Laguna opened the door and motioned for Raine to step inside.  The front office was small, with a few standing leafy plants, a pair of chairs and a secretary’s desk.  The young woman, wearing a SeeD uniform, stood as soon as she saw Laguna.

“Mister President!  This is an unexpected surprise!”  She saluted him, then extended her hand across her desk to Raine.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Loire.  I’m Saya, Commander Leonhart’s secretary.”  She frowned slightly.  “I’m afraid I have some bad news though.  If you came to visit him, I’m sorry to say he’s not in today.”

Laguna saw the look of panic cross Raine’s face.  “He’s not injured, is he?”

The young woman shook her head.  “No, nothing like that.  He’s out on a day mission.  He left before sunrise this morning, and probably won’t be back until late.”

Laguna pouted slightly.  “Ah, damn.  I was hoping to show his mother around his office.  You don’t think…”  He raised an eyebrow and smiled broadly at Saya.

The SeeD put her hands on her hips and sighed, a small grin on her lips.  “Go on inside.  Just don’t touch anything on his desk.  He’ll know if something’s out of place, and then I’ll catch hell.”

“Thank you!  Expect a fruit basket or something.”  Laguna winked as he opened the door. 

Bright sunlight streamed in through a wall of windows behind the massive desk.  The office was quite large, one wall lined with book cases and the other with filing cabinets.   A pair of chairs sat in front of the desk, with another three in the corner ready for use.  A small table sat next to the file cabinets, a well-worn looking coffee machine setting on top. 

“Well, this is it.  It’s a really nice office, don’t you think?”  Laguna pointed to the windows.  “Check out his view.”

Raine made her way to the windows, the Presidential Palace smack in the middle of her line of sight.  “It’s neat to see the Palace from this angle.  I never get tired of looking at this beautiful city.”

Laguna sat in Squall’s chair, swiveling it around to face the windows.  “Yeah, he says he doesn’t like having such a big office, but I think he secretly loves it.  He could live in here if he needed to.  He’s got a private full bath, the couch pulls out and there’s a fridge over there in the corner.”  He grabbed Raine and pulled her into his lap, causing her to gasp.  “I wish my office had a refrigerator.”

“You’d just stock it with sugary drinks and be climbing the walls all day.  Kiros would murder you.”

Laguna laughed, squeezing her waist tightly and pulling her in close to his body.  “Yeah, you’re probably right.”  They sat for a long moment, gazing out at the city.  Laguna then spun the chair around so they were facing the desk. 

In and out boxes were stacked on either corner, along with some neatly stacked piles of papers, all with color-coded sticky note labels on top.  Squall’s immaculate handwriting was all over everything.  His computer and monitor were free of dust and the keyboard was neatly stowed in a small drawer underneath.  The only personal items to be seen were two photo frames.  One contained a picture of Ellone, smiling and smelling flowers in a garden.  The other was Jane, flipping the bird.

Raine laughed, and Laguna figured he knew exactly what had made her chuckle.  “That picture of Jane is a doosie, huh?  I think he puts it away when he has important visitors.”

Raine leaned back into Laguna’s body.  “She certainly is a spitfire.  I couldn’t think of a better woman for him.  I really like her.”

“Me too.  Hey!  I just got a really good idea!”  Laguna pushed Raine off his lap and stood.  “Let’s go drop in on one of her classes.  I think she’s teaching right now.”

Raine eyed him suspiciously.  “Do you think that’s a good idea?  Interrupting her?”  She crossed her arms over her abdomen.  “Garden might not appreciate outsiders barging in on their instructors.”

Laguna smiled broadly.  “I’m not an outsider, I’m the President.  Besides, this place would have never been built without my approval.  C’mon, it’ll be fun.”  He took her by the hand, remembering to push in Squall’s chair as they left.  “I know where her classroom is.  Classes will be ending soon, it’s okay.”

They left the office and said goodbye to Saya, and took the elevator to the second floor where the classrooms were located.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX 

 

Jane stood at the front of her classroom, finishing her lecture for the day.  She didn’t even notice the two visitors that had ducked in at the back of the stadium seating.

“So, this next unit we’re going to be starting is on the Centrans.  Primarily their legends.”

A few groans came from the class. 

“Come on, guys.  Don’t whine about something that we haven’t even begun to discuss.  Think about this.  What makes something a legend, or a myth?  How do we know that it isn’t actually real history?”  She sat on the edge of her desk.  “Take Odin, for example.  If you forgot for a moment that you knew he existed and just looked at the facts, you’d be crazy to think that it was real.  I mean, he’s ten feet tall, wields a sword bigger than a bus and is stronger than the wildest Malboro.  And yet, we believe in him because we know he’s a GF and people have seen him with their own eyes.”

The class stirred restlessly.

“Let’s talk about myth.  What is it?”  She waited for someone to raise a hand.  “Anyone?”

A cadet in the front row spoke up.  “Something imaginary?”  Jane twirled her finger in the air, encouraging the student to elaborate.  “A story with a hero, or maybe Gods?”

“You’re going in the right direction.  Myth and legend go hand in hand with history.  Think back to the events of the last Sorceress War.  Think about Ultimecia, Time Compression, even the Fated Children.”

A few of the young ladies in the class snickered and blushed at the mention of the heroes.  It wasn’t a secret that their instructor was dating the Commander.

“In a thousand years, after all of us are gone and all that’s left is our history…what do you think the people of that time will believe as fact and as myth?  All those topics seem completely unbelievable, yet to us, in our time, we know them to be fact.  And why?  Because we were here, we saw it and lived it.”

The class murmured quietly, as they began to understand her train of thought.

“People of the future might look at all that information left behind and think that it just _has_ to be legend.  I mean, I lived through it and sometimes I still have a hard time believing that it actually happened.”  She adjusted her glasses.  “Myth and legend are more important to history than you’d realize.  It marries with everything in a culture.  The language, the arts, family life, politics.  None of that stuff would be possible without legends.  Legends spawn books, learning, the force that drives people to want to know everything there is to know about their world.  Myth has a place in it all.”

She looked at her watch, satisfied that they had enough time for a brain-storming session.  “Okay, let’s do an exercise.”  The class groaned in unison, causing Jane to put her hands on her hips.  “Knock it off, guys.”

She hopped off her desk and went around back to the dry-erase board.  “We’ll call this ‘What we think we know.’  I want you to call out anything that comes to mind about the Centrans.  But, it needs to be historical fact…or what you think is fact.”  She smiled slyly.  “I’ll list your answers, but I’m not going to tell you if they are fact of myth.  Go!”

The class sat silently for a moment before a female cadet in the front row hesitantly raised her hand.  “They were around thousands of years ago?” 

Jane scribbled the student’s idea on the board.  “More!  Don’t raise your hand, just shout.”

“They built moving cities.”

“They ate dogs!”

“The Centrans were destroyed by a Lunar Cry.”

“Odin fell in love with a Sorceress!”

“The Centra ruins are haunted!”

The class continued for five or so minutes, calling out their answers, some actually true, some completely absurd.  It was just what Jane had hoped for.  She stopped the students and methodically went down the list, adding a star next to every answer that was known to be historically accurate.  She didn’t add a star to the “eating dogs” idea. 

“Okay, so what do you guys notice?”  She scanned the room, waiting for a response.  “Anyone?  Come on, guys.  Someone here must be able to do basic math.”  She pursed her lips.

“It’s about seventy percent true.”  A male cadet in the back row spoke up.

Jane smiled.  “Correct.  I’m actually quite pleased that you guys came up with that many factual answers.  It shows that you know more than you think you do.”  She rounded her desk yet again and leaned her rear up against the front.  “Why do you think we believe legends and myths to be fact?”

The class murmured to themselves, leaning in to one another in discussion.  The girl who had offered the first idea in the brainstorm spoke up.  “Because we don’t know any better.”

“Exactly.  We weren’t there.  All we have to go by is what is left behind.  With the Centrans, unfortunately, that isn’t a whole lot.”  She twisted around and grabbed a large book from the desktop.  Struggling with its weight, she held it up for the class to see.  “Take this book.  What can you tell me about it?”

The class began to rattle off answers. 

“It’s old.”

“It’s big.”

“The cover is really beautiful.”

Jane nodded.  “This is a book that was found by yours truly at a dig site in Centra.  We were excavating what we believed to be just a meeting place, and were stunned when it turned out to be a small library.  Most of the books had turned to dust, but this one…”  She beamed with pride.  “…this one survived because it was in a stone box.”

“If it’s that precious, why’d they let you keep it?  Shouldn’t it be in a museum?”  The cadet who had spoken was obviously proud of his snarky comment by the smirk that was across his lips.

“Can the attitude, Braun.  While it may be in wonderful condition, it’s by no means rare.  Besides, finder’s keepers.”  The class laughed and another student punched Braun in the arm, shutting him up.  “What do you think this book is about?  Fact?  Fiction?  Can you tell just by looking at the cover or by its size?”

“It’s big, so it must have lots of words.  It’s gotta be a history book then.”  The student snickered. 

“Ha ha.  You’re wrong.  It’s a book of myths.  Fiction.”  She opened the cover and flipped to a spot she had marked, then turned the book around to show the class.  There was an ornate drawing of Odin, sword in the air.  “If you were a historian, and found this book for the first time ever and brought it to the public as fact, they might have been inclined to believe you…if you were credible enough.  And why?” 

She looked to the class, hopeful that they understood her point. 

“Because they wouldn’t have known any different.”

“Exactly.  Just what we have been discussing.  Who knows what’s really true?  History allows us delve into forgotten worlds, lost people, ancient civilizations.   In the beginning, we’re not going to know everything, and we would be arrogant to claim otherwise.  But…”  She plopped the heavy tome back on her desk.  “…as we learn, dig, sift through layers of dust, figuratively and literally, we uncover the truth.  There’s nothing wrong with myths and legends being incorporated into history.  They’re just as important as facts.  Legends helped build societies.  But we need to remember that they’re what they are:  stories.  So, over the next few weeks, that’s what we’re going to work on.  What’s fact, and what’s fiction.”

She finally noticed the eavesdroppers in the upper corner of the room and smiled softly.  “Alright class, we only have about five minutes left.  You lucked out, I was going to give a pop quiz about the Timber Siege, but we ran out of time.   Pick up your new course books on Centran Legends in the bookstore before next Tuesday, and also remember to hand in those note cards the day before the test next week so I can okay them.  No handy-inny, no-usey.  Are we straight?” 

The students laughed and began to pack up their materials.  “Go on, get out of here.  But if you get caught in the halls I’m not taking the blame.”  She flashed a wicked grin at her cadets.

They filed out of the upper doors, some of them saluting Laguna or stopping to shake his hand, or say hello to Raine.  When they had all left, the couple joined Jane near her desk.

“That was incredible, Jane.  You’ve got me so interested that I almost want to sit in on your class for the next couple of weeks.” 

The young woman smiled.  “Raine, you are more than welcome to audit any of my classes.  Seriously.”  She gathered up a few papers and the large book from her desk and shoved them into a messenger bag with an embroidered Cactuar on it.  The text underneath the image read, “Free Hugs.” 

“No uniform?  I thought all instructors had to wear one.”  Laguna looked confused.

“Nope.  I’m a civilian, remember?  I can wear whatever I want; I just had to sign a form stating that I wouldn’t wear anything offensive.”  She rolled her eyes.  “That was easier said than done, you should see my wardrobe.”  Her shirt that day was yellow; an image of a crying Malboro who’s ice cream had fallen from the cone onto the sidewalk.

“So, what are you two doing poking around Garden?”  Jane eyed Laguna suspiciously.  “Aren’t you supposed to be doing something Presidential?”

Laguna shrugged his shoulders.  “Probably.” 

Jane laughed.  “You certainly have your hands full with him, you know that?”

Raine patted her husband on the back. “Don’t I ever.  Would you like to join us for lunch?”

Jane frowned slightly.  “I would like nothing more than to have lunch with you guys, but I have a staff meeting in twenty minutes.  Nothing says ‘fun afternoon’ like sitting around with a bunch of stuck-up old fuddy-duddies arguing about proper book storage and grading techniques.  Seriously, I’m not joking.”

Laguna looked surprised.  “They really talk about that stuff?”

Jane rolled her eyes.  “And how.  It’s like being shoved into a tiny room with feral cats.  You’d never know updating math textbooks would cause such heated debates.”  A sly grin spread across her face.  “I have my ways around it though.  I just hide my cell phone under the table and play Disgruntled Chocobos.  I haven’t been caught yet!” 

“Did you download that new level pack with the Chicobos?  It’s a beast!”  Laguna’s eyes were twinkling.

Raine shook her head in disbelief.  “So, is that what you do all day?  Play on your cell phone?”  She smiled slyly at her husband. 

Laguna crossed his arms over his chest, matter-of-factly.  “For your information, I play on my computer.”  He stuck out his tongue.

Jane leaned in and whispered loudly into his ear.  “You’re just digging yourself deeper, Laguna.”

Raine put her arm around Laguna.  “Listen to her, Loire.  She’s a wise woman.”  She smiled broadly at Jane.  “Hopefully we’ll be able to have lunch another time.”

Jane slung her bag over her shoulder and grabbed the remaining books from her desk.  “You can count on it.” 

The trio exited the classroom, Jane going her own way with a wave and a smile.  Laguna turned and took Raine in his arms.  “So, lunch?”

She stood on her tip-toes and kissed his nose.  “Sure.  But if you think you’re getting away with feeding me cafeteria food, you’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Squall was exhausted.

Never in a million years would he have thought that a routine day mission would have turned into an all-out fire fight with uncooperative and misunderstanding townsfolk.  He was relieved that no one had been killed, but the small village that SeeD had been contracted to sweep for separatists hadn’t been so lucky.  Quite a few of the houses had been damaged by assault weapons fire along with one or two potholes in the main road from small explosives.  In the end, the separatists had been subdued and dealt with per the mayor’s instructions.

All SeeD’s had come out relatively unscathed, with a few minor flesh wounds and one broken bone.  Squall even had a new war wound to show for his efforts, in the form of a nasty black eye. 

_At least it isn’t another scar._

He wearily opened his door and dropped his gear, including Lionheart, to the floor.  As he looked up, he saw Jane sitting at the small dining room table, grading papers.

“What are you doing here?”

She looked up; a mock hurt expression on her face.  “That’s the greeting I get?  Ass.”

He shrugged off his uniform jacket and hung it on the hook near the door.  “I’m just surprised to see you, that’s all.”  He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.  “It’s a welcomed surprise after the day I’ve had.”

Jane melted into his embrace.  “My washer broke.  I hope you don’t mind me using yours.”  She turned in her seat to make eye contact.  “What the fuck happened to your eye?”

Squall sighed and let go.  Sitting next to her, he put his elbows on the table and rested his chin in his hand.  “Nothing.  Just a little skirmish.”

Jane eyed him with suspicion.  “Whatever you say, _Commander._ ”  She capped her pen and threw it down onto the mass of papers on the tabletop.  “Well, I’ve had enough of this bullshit.  Want me to go so you can get some sleep?”

A faint smile crossed Squall’s lips.  He didn’t want her to go.  Ever.  “Of course not.  I am tried though…and hungry.”  He raised his eyebrows hopefully.

Jane snorted.  “I suppose this is where I feed you, right?” 

Squall smiled and shook his head with a small chuckle.  “I’m joking.”  He leaned back in his chair and stretched his aching arms over his head. 

“I know what would do the trick, if you’re not too tired that is.”  She had a wicked grin on her face.  Squall liked that smile.  “How about some _ice cream_?”  Her eyebrows arched as she emphasized her last words.

“I’m guessing you’re referring to ‘naked ice cream,’ Miss Rylos?” 

She licked her lips and nodded seductively.

“Naked ice cream usually leads to something else, if you remember correctly.”

Jane winked.  “I’m well aware of that, Commander.”

Squall sighed.  “As exhausted as I am, the lure of you and ice cream is just too much.  Lemme take a shower first though, okay?”

Jane wrinkled her nose.  “Yes, please.  You stink.”

“Gee, thanks.  Give me fifteen minutes, alright?”  He got up rocked his neck from side to side, trying to get it to pop. 

“Don’t dawdle.  You wouldn’t want it to melt.  After all, I bought your favorite.”

Squall narrowed his eyes.  “Chocolate Peanut-butter Cup?  You temptress.” 

Jane smacked his backside as he left to shower.  “I’ll be waiting…”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Squall and Jane lay in bed, the cool night breeze blowing in through cracked balcony doors and over their bare skin.  An empty ice cream container sat on the nightstand.  They were silent, basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking.  Squall ran his fingertips over the tops of the spikes in Jane’s hair, content to stay that way forever.

She shifted in his arms, cuddling closer to his body.  She traced her fingers over his abs.  “Laguna and Raine surprised me in my classroom today.”

Squall sighed, not really wanting to hear about his parents while lying naked in his bed with his girlfriend.  He said nothing, instead tightened his arm around Jane’s warm body, hugging her closer. 

“It was nice.  Raine seemed really interested in my lesson plan.”  She ran her finger up his sternum, stopping at Griever, lifting it to rest in her palm.  “She seems to really be adjusting to life here in Esthar.  Isn’t that great?”

Squall closed his eyes.  “Mmm-hmm.”  He felt the cold metal of Griever fall back to his chest, then Jane’s soft fingertips trail up his neck and to his cheek.   

 “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

Squall’s eyes snapped open and he blew out a breath from puffed cheeks.  He just knew this was going to be about either Raine or Laguna.  “What?”  His tone was slightly annoyed.

She rolled on to her side and propped her elbow up, resting her head on her fist.  “What was with you calling Laguna ‘Dad’ at the SeeD ball?  I don’t think I’ve ever heard you do that before.” 

_Oh shit.  Not this.  Not now._

Squall instantly felt a knot in his stomach as he tried to decide how to answer.  Was he really ready to take the plunge and propose?  He had wanted to do things differently, not ask for her hand when they were both nude and coming down from the high of sex.  He realized that it was now or never.

 Ready or not, he was doing this.

Squall sighed and turned his head to look Jane in the eyes.  “I missed my self-imposed deadline.  I told myself I had to call him ‘Dad’ if I did.” 

A confused look spread across her face, her glasses missing.  “Deadline?  What the hell for?”

Squall stared blankly at her for a moment. 

“I owe you money or what?”  She flicked the tip of his nose. 

He threw off sheets and walked to the dresser, ignoring Jane’s cat-calls at the sight of his bare butt.  He slowly opened his drawer and dug under the long underwear to retrieve the small box.  He stood silently for a moment, his back to her.  Mentally preparing himself, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

Turning to face her, box in hand, he saw her expression change.  She no longer had a sly smirk on her face, rather one of genuine surprise.  Her mouth hung open as she pointed at his hands.

“What the fuck is that?”

He returned to the bed, sitting on the edge.  He patted the mattress next to him and Jane scooted over, crossing her legs underneath her body.  Squall couldn’t believe this was happening.  And he certainly never planned it to happen when they were both naked.  This would be hard to explain to the kids someday.

He turned the box over and over in his hands nervously.  He finally looked into her eyes, which were starting to tear up.  “I was trying to figure out a way to do this.  I thought maybe something romantic, but I realized that’s just not us.”  He hesitated, swallowing hard.  “You know what?  Fuck it.”  He opened the box, revealing the sparkling gem.

“Marry me?”

Jane brought her right hand to her mouth, muffling her voice.  “Are you putting me on, Leonhart?”

He took her left hand in his own, stroking the top with his thumb.  “No, this is actually happening.”  He exhaled a long breath. 

“I…”  Jane was shaking, her breath hitching.  “I can’t believe you finally got the balls to ask!”  She wiggled her ring finger.  “Yes!  Hot damn, we’re getting married!”

Squall smiled genuinely and slipped the delicate ring on to her petite finger.  She held it up, allowing the stone to catch the ambient light of the room.  “It’s beautiful, Squall.”  She threw herself at him, wrapping her entire body around his.  She felt so warm in his arms, and he relished in the fact that she would be his forever. 

They sat entwined on the edge of the bed for a long moment, Jane running her fingers through his unruly hair.  She finally leaned back, her hands cupping his face.  “I love you so much, Squall.  I’ve never been happier.”  

He kissed her passionately as he leaned them both back on the mattress until he was lying with her on top of him.  “I love you, Jane.”  He stroked her cheek gently as a look of mild terror crossed his face.  “Holy shit, we’re really getting married.”

“Too late to back out, Commander.  You’re in too deep.”  She smiled playfully. 

He looked deep into her emerald eyes.  “You ready for this?  Being married to me, I mean.  I’m not the easiest guy to be around.” 

She leaned down and kissed him lightly.  “I’ve been ready for months.  I’m so excited I could shit.”

Squall furrowed his brows.  “Please don’t.”

Jane slapped his chest.  “Grow up, Leonhart.”  She lay down and put her ear over his heart.  “It’s kind of surreal.  I’ve been waiting for this for a while, and I wasn’t sure if you were going to do it or not.”

Squall inhaled deeply, his rising chest pushing Jane’s head up for a moment.  “I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve had the ring for a while.”

She picked her head up and turned it to look at him with suspicion.  “And just how long have you been in possession of this beautiful bauble?”  She pulled her arm out from underneath his neck and looked at the ring again.

Squall but his lower lip and tried to avoid her gaze.  “About six weeks.  I kept finding reasons to put it off, and then Raine showed up and everything went to hell.”

Jane laid her head back down.  “You realize this is just another thing that Laguna is going to go absolutely mental over.  He’ll probably start asking about grandkids.”

Squall groaned and rolled his eyes.  “I don’t even want to think about that subject right now.”

Jane snorted into his chest.  “Well, you’ll have to eventually.  I want six of ‘em.”

He grabbed his new fiancée by the shoulders and pushed her up into a sitting position.  “You’re joking, right?  Because if you aren’t I want that ring back.”

She laughed hysterically.  “Holy shit, you should have seen the look on your face!  I thought you were going to puke!”  She leaned back, puffing out her bare chest.  “You of all people should know that I’m just about the least maternal person on the planet.  I can’t even keep plants alive.  Maybe… _maybe_ someday we can talk about rug rats, but for now I’d like to be blissfully married and childless.”

Squall sighed with relief.  Jane rolled off of him and they both scooted back to their original positions in the bed.  She held her hand up once again, the sparkling diamond twinkling in the low light of the room.  Squall put his hands behind his head.

“So, when are we going to tell the ‘rents?”

He sighed.  Now he’d _have_ to talk to Laguna.  “How about Sunday?  They invited us to dinner.”

Jane agreed.  “That’s fine, but don’t think I can keep this from my mom for six days.”

“Go ahead and tell her, just make her promise to keep it a secret until Laguna’s press secretary can make an announcement.”  He mused inwardly about how the press would react.  “Man, I just realized the reporters are going to have a field day with this.  They won’t leave us alone.”

Squall could fell the pull of exhaustion finally begin to win over his brain.  He settled down into the bed, rolling on his side and throwing an arm over Jane.  She stayed on her back, pulling the comforter up over the both of them.  She rolled over briefly to kiss his lips tenderly.  “You’ve made me the happiest woman on the whole frickin’ planet, Leonhart.  You know that?”

He smirked in the darkness and held her close.  “Yup.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_A/N:  Disgruntled Chocobos belongs to Ashbear.  She was kind enough to let me use it.  Think Angry Birds in the Final Fantasy world.  We have the same taste in…how shall I put it?  Randomness._

_And, the expression “I owe you money or what?” is Hawaiian Pidgin for when someone is staring at you.  My husband and I love Hawaii, have been there twice and I find Hawaiian slang popping up in my vocabulary quite often.  Just a tidbit._


	49. Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-eight

Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-eight

                Raine awoke to Laguna’s soft snoring.  She elbowed him lightly to get him to roll over.  He grumbled groggily and complied, his back now facing her.  His snoring ceased and was replaced by rhythmic breathing.   Raine sighed and closed her eyes again, trying to decide if she was going to get up. 

After a few minutes, she realized her brain was activated for the day and there was no way she would get back to sleep.  Laguna had begun to snore again, so that cemented her decision to get up.  Rolling over, she looked at the clock.  It was five-thirty.  She knew Laguna didn’t need to be up for another hour, so she didn’t want to wake him.

She sat up and stretched her arms over her head, working out all the kinks that had accumulated overnight.  Turning back to look at Laguna, she smiled softly as he curled up into a ball and mumbled somewhat incoherently in his sleep. 

“Mrph…get the baseball bat, Ward…”

She clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter. Who knows what he was dreaming about.  She padded over to her vanity where she sat and ran a brush through her long hair.  Sitting quietly, she swore she heard water splashing from the floor above, through the open balcony doors. 

Intrigued, she set her brush down and headed out to the patio.  She leaned against the railing and cocked her head, tipping her ear upwards.  There was no ambient noise from wind or traffic this morning, so she would be able to hear the noise clearly.

She thought for a moment as she picked a few dried buds off of a potted plant.  Laguna had mentioned that there was a pool on the roof of the Palace, on the floor right above them.  She knew from talking to Laguna and Ellone that Squall was a very early riser.  Laguna had also mentioned that he liked to swim. 

She went back in to the bedroom and quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt.  Kissing Laguna softly on the forehead, she quietly exited the room and grabbed her keycard and sunglasses as she left the apartment. 

Time to see if her hunch was right.

The private elevator at the end of the hall brought her to the roof, and as the door opened she needed to put her sunglasses on to shield her eyes from the bright light.  She rounded the corner to access the pool, and when she did she saw no one, just a towel and some clothes draped over a lounge chair. 

But she did hear the splashing again. 

She scanned around the edge of the pool, in which she could see a figure in the water, gliding effortlessly under the surface.  When the person surfaced for air, she immediately saw a large tribal tattoo on their back.

It was Squall. 

She smiled when she realized her feeling had been correct.  His back was to her, and he barely had enough time to fill his lungs with air before he disappeared again under the water.  She watched as he moved down the length of the pool, not surfacing again until he tapped the other end.  His head popped up and he grabbed on to the smooth tile lip, catching his breath.  With his free hand, he wiped the water from his eyes.  He startled slightly in the water when he noticed Raine.

“Uhh, hi.”

Raine waved and smiled, making her way towards the end where Squall was.  She sat on a lounger near him.  “I heard splashing from our bedroom, so I came to investigate.”

Squall tried to shake some water out of his ears.  “Did I wake you?”  He rested his arms on the edge of the pool.

Raine grinned.  “No.  Your father’s snoring did.”  She adjusted her glasses.  “I hope I’m not interrupting your workout.  I can go if you want me to.”

Squall shook his head.  “You don’t have to.  I’m getting out anyway.  I’m just going to…”  He motioned to the other end of the pool before disappearing under the water yet again.  He quickly arrived at the other side and lifted himself out of the clear blue water.  He grabbed his towel and dried the water from his body and swim trunks before slipping on a pair of black track pants and his sunglasses.  He picked up a pair of flip-flops from underneath the chair and walked back towards Raine.  He balled his towel up and set it at the head of the lounge chair.  Sitting, he leaned back on the makeshift pillow, placing his hands behind his head.

Raine followed suit and positioned herself on the chair in a similar fashion.  They sat quietly for a while, a warm breeze whipping up every now and then.  Raine listened to the steady breathing coming from the chair next to her, finally turning her head to look at her son. 

“Do you always get up this early?”  She shielded her eyes with her hand, even though she had on sunglasses.  Facing Squall made her look at the sun. 

He never turned to face her.  “Usually.”

“Me too.  I’ve always been an early riser.  Back in Winhill, the regional birds are very loud in the morning, so I just got used to getting up with them.  I guess it just kind of became a part of my everyday life going forward.”

He offered no response other than a long breath. 

Raine was so happy that he was allowing her to be this close.  After their talk at the ball, she was hopeful that their relationship would blossom.  Thinking of the charity function made her remember that he had started to ask her a question when the young cadet had come to find Squall.  She decided to ask him about it.

“Squall?”

“Mmm-hmm?”

“When we were talking on the balcony at the SeeD ball, you were about to ask me something when we were interrupted.  What was it?”

He sighed, removing his hands from behind his head and sat up.  He brought his legs up under him to sit cross-legged.  He tapped his fingers together anxiously in his lap.  “It’s nothing.”

Raine also pulled herself up, and turned sideways to face him.  “It’s okay, you can ask me anything.”  She lowered her chin to look at him over the rims of her sunglasses.

He caught her eyes briefly, then turned his head away.  He was obviously embarrassed to talk about whatever was on his mind.  He sat silent for a few seconds, picking at the slats of the chair underneath him.  “Do you remember anything about my birth?”  His voice was very quiet.

Raine sighed.  “It was difficult.  Not something I’d ever want to do again, that’s for sure.”

She saw him shake his head in disbelief. 

Raine continued.  “I only had about four hours with you, but they were the happiest of my life, present times excluded.  You were so tiny, only five pounds.  And so quiet.  You hardly cried at all.”  She smiled at the memory.  “You were early, you know.  Five weeks.”

“Did that…me being so early, I mean.  Did it have an impact on what happened?”

“I don’t think so.  The midwife just said you’d be little.  And you were.  I don’t think it had anything to do with my death.”

He cleared his throat, his next words very hesitant.  “How did you, you know…?”

Raine knew what he was asking about.  He wanted details about her actual death.  “How did I die?”

He nodded silently, finally turning to look at her.  Even though his eyes were hidden behind sunglasses, she knew he was looking directly into her own.

“The only thing I remember is the midwife kept saying that I was bleeding pretty heavily.  I’m assuming I went because of that.”

Squall turned away and hung his head, his shoulders sagging.  “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”  Raine took a chance and reached out to pat his forearm. 

“For killing you.”

Raine couldn’t believe what had just come out of her son’s mouth.  He felt guilty for her death.  Her heart sank, sad that he felt responsibility for something that happened so long ago.  “You didn’t do anything.  I’d go through everything again in a heartbeat, even if it meant giving up my life a second time.  Just to give you yours.”  She moved her hand from his arm to his bare shoulder, where she squeezed gently, feeling his muscles tighten at the contact.  “I sure as hell don’t blame you for anything, so you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

He nodded.  “Alright.” 

Raine let go of his arm and sat back.  She watched him for a moment.  He rocked his neck from side to side, and she was able to hear the telltale popping of joints.  She studied the design on his back, the line of stitches etching a line through part of the image. 

“How’s your shoulder?”

He looked back at her, then turned his head to look over his own shoulder at his healing wound.  “It’s fine.  I’m supposed to get the stitches taken out this afternoon.”  He snorted slightly.  “It itches like a bitch.”

Raine snickered.  It was still weird to hear “adult” words come out of her son’s mouth.  It was definitely one of the things she was having the most trouble getting used to.

“I’m sure I don’t have to tell you not to scratch it.  Your dad on the other hand…I’d probably have to put oven mitts on his hands to keep him from away from it.”

Raine couldn’t believe her eyes.   Squall laughed.  His smile was beautiful, white teeth gleaming in the morning sun.  She wished she could see his eyes, as she believed they must have been twinkling.  “You have a wonderful smile, Squall.”

“Well, it’s a rare occurrence.  Not many people get to see it.”  His smile turned into a smirk before disappearing completely.  He leaned back on his chair, adjusting his improvised pillow underneath his head once more. 

“Can I ask you about the Griever on your arm?”

Squall shrugged his shoulders.  “It was my first, when I was seventeen.”

“Seventeen?  Isn’t that a bit young?”

Squall smirked slightly, raising his arm behind his head.  “It was after the war.  I had always kind of wanted one, and I figured I had just survived the conflict, so I just went for it.”  He looked down at the image on his arm.  “I like it.”

Raine smiled softly.  “Me too.”

They sat basking in the sun, Raine’s brow beginning to sweat in the rising heat.  Squall shifted, causing her to turn her head to look at him. 

“I’ve got to go.”  He stood, slipping his bare feet into his sandals.  “It was…nice talking to you again.” 

Raine stood, finding herself incredibly close to her son.  She felt the uncontrollable urge to hug him.  She had wanted to many times in the past month, but the situation just never felt right.  But now here they were, alone and away from any prying eyes.  She hoped he would be comfortable with it.

_Just ask him, Raine.  You’ll kick yourself later if you don’t._

“Squall?”  She tapped her fingers together nervously at her abdomen.  “Can I ask you one more thing before you go?”

“I guess.” 

Raine took a deep breath.  “I would like very much to hug you.”  She looked up at him hopefully, removing her glasses so he could see the sincerity in her eyes.  “I just want so badly to put my arms around you.  It’s just…”  She hesitated, hoping she wasn’t sounding too desperate.  “…I haven’t held you in my arms since you were four hours old.”

He bit his lower lip for a second, and stood silently.  His eyes darted off to the side as he contemplated her request.

Taking his silence as her answer, she began to back away from him.  “It’s okay, Squall.  Don’t worry about it.  Another time, maybe.”

She was disappointed, but understood his reaction.  He still wasn’t ready for that close of contact.  She knew he hardly even came that close to Laguna.  So, his answer took her completely by surprise.

“Alright.”

“Really?”  She brought her hands to rest over her heart, then tentatively moved closer to him.  Slowly, she wrapped her arms around his upper body, pressing her ear against his chest.  It took all her willpower not to cry.  His heart was beating very fast as he gingerly brought his own arms around her back. 

Their embrace was brief, only lasting several seconds, but it was enough for Raine.  To feel him in her arms again made her entire journey back to the family complete.  He was the one to end the hug, releasing his loose grasp on her and backing away as her arms fell slack.

“Thank you, Squall.”  Raine wiped the tears from her eyes.  “You can never know how much that meant to me.”

He nodded silently, then motioned towards the elevator.  “You coming?”

Raine shook her head slightly.  “Nah, you go on ahead.  I’m going to sit and enjoy the morning quiet before the city wakes up and starts making noise.”  She sat back down on the lounger she had previously occupied.

Squall shrugged his shoulders.  “Whatever.  I guess I’ll…see you at dinner Sunday.”

Raine smiled.  “Not if I see you sooner.”

The young man turned and made his way to the elevator.  Raine watched as he rounded the corner of the elevator room and disappeared out of sight.  She closed her eyes and listened to the sound of the city waking beneath her.  Her lips slowly curved into a broad smile, her mind still not believing that she had finally embraced her son.

The fact that he had voluntarily allowed it was icing on the cake.

Now it was real.  She truly felt accepted by her child. 

She was home.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_“Good Morning, Esthar. Thank you for making Channel Five the number one morning news team in our fine city. The time is now seven-fifteen and it’s time for_ _your news and weather together.  Fire broke out last night in the southern district of the city at Nadine’s Fine Foods.  The two-alarm blaze took firefighters nearly three hours to get under control.  The fire marshal commented that they believe the fire started in the back hallway, and that it appeared to be electrical.  No foul play is suspected._

_In other news, President Loire’s assistant David Pointe will be taking a four-to-six week leave of absence starting today to care for his ailing mother.  Press Secretary Jorden said in a statement released this morning that his position would be vacant until his return, and that the First Lady would be overseeing most of Mr. Pointe’s duties in his absence.  Palace staff will fill in for him whenever needed._

_Turning our attention to the weather now, it looks like it’s going to be another scorcher in the city and surrounding suburbs today, with temperatures expected to reach ninety-…”_

Ash turned the television off and sat silently for a moment in the living room of his hovel.  His mind raced, the wheels and cogs in his brain instantly springing into motion.  The news of David Pointe’s leave was the best possible thing he could have heard.  He had been waiting for weeks for the perfect time to strike, putting his sinister plan into motion. 

With one newscast, his chance had been handed to him as if it were on a silver platter.  With David out of the palace, it would be easier to get a package to Raine.  The young assistant was very vigilant about what found its way to the President’s door, but Ash was hopeful that with him out of the picture, procedures would be somewhat lax. 

He jumped up and haphazardly pushed the ratty couch out from the wall.  Sitting there, like always, was the silver gun case he had brought with him from the lab.  Ash stared at it for a moment, licking his lips with anticipation.  He reached for it, only to stop himself just short of making contact with the handle.  

Ash knew that he needed a clean field of operation.  That meant no fingerprints.  There had to be no evidence tying the case and weapon back to him.  He had made sure that the gun had no serial numbers, no way for the police to tie it to anyone.  When he had purchased it from X, the man assured him it had no history.

He went to the kitchen and pulled open a rickety drawer. Inside was a package of vinyl gloves.  Ash slid them onto his hands effectively obliterating any chance of fingerprint identification. Grabbing a scissors and a stick of glue from the countertop, he returned to the case and retrieved it, bringing it back to the small kitchen.  Approaching the small table and with a giant swoop, he pushed the contents of the tabletop to the floor, clearing it.  On the chair next to his own was a stack of magazines and a few pieces of pristine white paper.  After putting the weapon container down on the table he grabbed the top few periodicals and began methodically tearing out pages.

Working for almost thirty minutes, he chose his letters carefully, making sure they were large and brightly colored.  He needed to make sure Raine got the message loud and clear.  Ash snipped carefully, taking great pride in his work.  After all, this would be the message that would spell doom not only for Raine’s child, but for the entire family.  He smiled broadly as he worked, whistling a cheery tune.

When he had all the letters necessary for his communiqué, he tossed the used magazines to the floor and grabbed a sheet of the reserved paper.  Ash arranged the letters exactly how he wanted them to be presented first, then painstakingly glued each one in place, making sure his spelling was correct. 

Everything had to be perfectly in order if this were to work.

Ash finished, holding the letter up with his still-gloved hands to admire his handiwork.  It was perfect.  The message was clear, the letters easy to read.  He was even proud of its artistic quality, as he mentally patted himself on the back for the lovely color grouping he had achieved.

Satisfied that the note was complete, he set it aside, far enough away from his work area that it wouldn’t become mussed.  He opened the gun case and took the weapon out.  Holding it up in his hands, he gazed at it with an almost loving look.  He caressed the metal, rubbing his thumb over the rough etched crosshatch design on the grip.  Ash knew what this weapon was going to do, and he couldn’t help but admire the deadly beauty of the piece.

He meticulously took the weapon apart, cleaning every inch of the surface and inner workings.  Oil was applied to all the parts that required it and he used a small brush to scrub the barrel clean.  After snapping all the parts back into place, he set the gun down on the table and went to work loading the magazine. 

Ash looked over every bullet, choosing the shiniest ones from the box.  After all, they had to be perfect if they were to pierce Squall’s flesh with ease.  He had splurged on top-of-the-line bullets, researching each the pros and cons of all the major brands.  Only the finest ammunition would do. 

After loading all ten bullets into the magazine, he slapped it into the hilt of the gun, smiling sinisterly as he heard it click.  He took one last bullet from the box and slipped it into the chamber, pulling the top back and letting it snap into place. 

The gun was loaded.  Fates were sealed.

Ash engaged the safety while he polished the weapon, buffing it to a pristine shine.  He admired his work, relishing in the fact that his reflection was clearly visible in the almost mirror-like finish of the pistol.   

Satisfied that the gun was indeed ready, he set it carefully in the padded box, making sure it was secure.  He gazed at it one last time, committing its image to memory.  He almost felt sad that it was leaving him, as he had become quite attached to it over the years.  Because of its intended purpose, he felt a connection to it, and now that the gun was going to be leaving his possession forever, it felt as if he were losing an old friend.

Tapping it one last time, for good luck he told himself, Ash closed the case and secured the latches.  He neatly folded the letter in half and using two pieces of clear tape he attached it to the outside of the box.  Ash sat silently for a moment, listening to the almost constant commotion that went on outside his windows on a daily basis.  Raised voices, fights, and the occasional gunshot.  All commonplace in Heaven’s Hope. 

He smirked, thinking that the sounds that were so common to him here in the slums were never heard in the Palace. 

Come tomorrow, the elite residents of the Palace would be all too familiar with those sounds.   He just wished he could be a fly on the wall to witness it all.  It would be magnificent.

He got up from the table and fetched a box just big enough to hold the weapon case.  Setting the container carefully inside, he made sure not to detach his beautifully crafted note.  Taking one last look at his masterpiece, he kissed his gloved fingertips and gently patted the paper. 

“Be a good girl and kill your son, Raine.  Make me proud.”

Ash closed the top flaps of the box and secured them with packing tape. Using a bright blue marker, he addressed the box to Raine at the Presidential palace, disguising his neat adult handwriting as that of a child’s.  He knew a box from a youngster would have a better chance of getting past security and into Raine’s hands.  After all, who would suspect a child to be sending a loaded weapon to the First Lady?

When the appropriate postage was attached, he leaned back in his chair, staring at the parcel.  He suddenly got chills up his spine.  Come tomorrow, Raine would be opening the very box that sat before him and as soon as she read the letter, her mission would begin.

He laced his hands together behind his head and closed his eyes.  He could almost see the news reports of Squall Leonhart’s demise.  Panic at the Palace, Secretary Jorden making a teary announcement, Laguna hysterically crying at what was sure to be a televised funeral service.  He smirked, thinking even further into the future when a tearful Laguna would announce his resignation.  No, better yet, Kiros Seagill would announce the President’s involuntary resignation due to him having to be permanently committed to an asylum after the death of his only child at the hands of his wife.

Ash rubbed his hands together, the vinyl on his palms squeaking ever so slightly.  After all his years of hard work, planning and waiting, the mission was finally a go.

Tomorrow Squall Leonhart would die.

 


	50. Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-nine

Phoenix:  Chapter Forty-nine

**The Next Day**

                Jane walked down the hallway towards the kitchen, the intoxicating aroma of fresh brewed coffee tickling her nostrils. She spotted her fiancé and inspiration struck.   Her feet were bare, so she soundlessly snuck up behind Squall, readying herself to pounce.  He was engrossed in his laptop, which was sitting on the counter.

In the year they had been together, she had failed miserably every time she tried to scare him.  His SeeD training made him aware of his surroundings at all times, his keen ears always open.  It seemed like he had eyes in the back of his head.  Of course, he had never hurt her when he retaliated, rather he asserted his dominance.  At first it had been sweeping blocks with his arms, a leg out from under her from time to time.  As their relationship progressed, it turned more physical with Squall grabbing Jane and tossing her over his shoulder or flipping her over his back and onto the floor. 

And she loved every minute of it.

This morning she vowed would be the time she finally surprised him.  The situation couldn’t have been more perfect.   Whatever he was watching on the screen had sound, which would mask her already softened bare footsteps.  The balcony doors were open, letting in the sounds of the city from below.  If she snuck quietly enough and took her time inching closer to him, she would be able to take him by surprise.

As she neared the breakfast bar separating the living room and kitchen, she ducked down behind it so she couldn’t be seen if Squall were to turn around.   She crawled around on her hands and knees to the end of the bar and paused. She peered around ever so slightly and confirmed he was still absorbed in his laptop.  A wicked smile crossed her lips and she slowly began to rise, bringing her hands up into makeshift claws, ready to grab his shoulders.

She hoped he would scream.

“I’ve been tracking you ever since you came out of the hallway.”

Jane stomped her feet with disgust, crossing her arms over her chest.  “Are you fucking kidding me, Leonhart?”  She stuck her tongue out at him just as he turned to face her.  “I hate you, you know.”

A small smirk touched his lips.  “You made too much noise.  Skulk quieter next time.” 

“Kiss my ass.”  She pouted for a moment, then relented and went in for a morning hug.  She just couldn’t stay mad at him.  “Why are you still here, anyway?  Aren’t you late?”

He rested his chin on the top of her head.  “I’m not going to Garden this morning.  I have a meeting with Laguna in twenty minutes.” 

Ending their embrace she headed for the steaming coffee maker, talking as she walked.  “Oh right.  For the Garden expansion?”

Squall nodded and began to unwrap a muffin.  “Correct.  Laguna wants to see the plans before we send them to the city planner for finalization.”

“Will you be in the office at all today?”

He shrugged his shoulders, mouth full.  “Maybe.  There’s a lot of blueprints and files to look at.  Laguna wants to see everything, even the invoices for the building materials.”  He looked at the microwave clock.  “Shit, I have to go.”

He powered down his laptop and closed it, stuffing it into a case already filled with files and papers.  As he began to put on his uniform jacket, Jane came in close and wrapped her arms around his muscular body before he could button the coat.  She lost herself in the light scent of his cologne.

“Try not to be too late.  I was hoping you’d help me move some of my stuff over tonight.”

He backed away from their hug and allowed her to begin buttoning up the front of his jacket.  “I should be home at the regular time.  Don’t think you’re bringing your furniture over here though.  It’s ugly.”

Jane swatted his chest.  “Whatever, Leonhart.”  Not bothering to finish buttoning his top, she slid her hands slowly down his hips, and around to his backside, where she squeezed.  She noticed he was unarmed that morning.  “No sidearm today?”

He removed her hands from his buttocks and finished buttoning his coat.  “The trigger’s been sticky.  I’ll clean it tonight.”  He cupped his hands around Jane’s cheeks.  “Besides, it’s not like I’m going into battle.  I think I’ll be okay for one day without it.  It’s only Laguna.”  He paused, pursing his lips in thought.  “On second thought, he is pretty annoying.”

“That’s assassination, you know.”  Jane loved his dark sense of humor, and the fact that he usually saved it just for her.

He grabbed his bag.  “See you tonight?”

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him softly.  “Come over to my soon-to-be former apartment when you’re done.  You can help me pack up all my sex toys.”

“You don’t have any sex toys.” 

“Not any you know about, smartass.”  She batted her long eyelashes.

Squall rolled his eyes.  “Go teach my cadets.”  He kissed her one more time and turned to leave.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Raine’s day started wonderfully.   

Waking up without an alarm to jolt her senses into overdrive, she and Laguna had shared a quiet breakfast in bed before she had to shoo him out of the house.

_“What’s on your Presidential agenda for the day?”_

_“Squall’s comin’ by.  We’re supposed to go over the plans for the Garden expansion.”_

  After he had left, she treated herself to a warm bath and a good book.  Raine eventually found herself puttering around the house, doing a few odd chores and waiting for the dryer to end its cycle. 

When the doorbell rang, she quickly smoothed her hair down and straightened her blouse, making sure she was presentable to whoever it was.  The door whooshed open, revealing a young man with a box in his hands.  Raine recognized him as one of the interns from the community outreach office.

“Good morning, Lionel.  For me?”  She took the box from his hands and motioned for him to come inside. 

“Just arrived this morning, Ma’am.  Looks like it’s from a kid.  The head of the department told me to bring it straight to you.  And I’m sorry but I can’t stay.  With David on leave, our office is taking over some of his duties and I have a list as long as my leg to complete before noon.”  He flashed an embarrassed grin and bowed slightly.  “Have a wonderful day, Mrs. Loire.”

Raine waved after the young man and closed the door behind him.  She set the box down on the dining room table, smiling at the handwriting of the address.  It had obviously been written by a child, as some of the letters were misshapen and even backwards.  She wondered what the box might contain.  Usually gifts sent to her by children consisted of hand-made artwork. 

She left the parcel for a moment to get a scissors from the kitchen utility drawer.  Just as she was about to slice into the tape securing the box, the dryer buzzed.  She briefly contemplated leaving her package for a moment to tend to the laundry, but decided Laguna’s underwear and socks could wait.  She wanted to see what this darling child had sent her.

The sharp blade of the scissors divided the tape in two, releasing the top flaps of the box.  She pulled them aside, revealing a metallic case adorned with what appeared to be a note.  Puzzled, she cocked her head to the side as she removed the container.

It was smooth, and appeared to be aluminum.  She snatched the paper from the top and broke the seal of tape with her thumbnail.  She sighed as she began to read.  Her eyes instantly glazed over, the smile dissolving from her face.

**[[[WE ARE WAITING FOR THE MANAGER TO GIVE US PASSAGE]]]**

Raine was no longer in control of her mind or her body.  The paper fluttered to the floor beneath the table.  Carefully, she removed the case from the box and flipped the hinges, exposing the 9mm pistol inside.  She took the weapon from its plush environment and inspected it, making sure it was properly loaded.  Disengaging the safety, she tucked it into her waistband and positioned her shirt over her belly, concealing the gun.  Raine turned and headed to the door, not even bothering to slip shoes onto her bare feet.

_“Squall’s comin’ by.  We’re supposed to go over the plans for the new Garden expansion.”_

She was on autopilot.

The hall was empty as she proceeded to the elevator.  She knew just where to go—Laguna’s office.  As the cab came to a stop and the doors opened, she muttered under her breath. 

“Kill Squall Leonhart.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX    

 

“So, the way we see it, these three parcels of land here…here…and right there,” Squall tapped his finger on each spot on the blueprints as he talked.  “They will be more than enough room for the actual building expansion, construction equipment and staging area.”

“I don’t know how the land owners will feel about Garden barging in and demanding their lots.”  Laguna sipped a cup of coffee and sat on the edge of the table where Squall had laid out the plans for the Garden expansion.

“All but one has already sold to us.  We’re hopeful that the issue with the straggler can be resolved by next week.”  Squall crossed his arms over his uniformed chest. 

“Well, if you’re confident that the last one will sell, then I don’t see any reason to halt the process.  Consider your plans approved.”  He grinned.  “This is going to bring a lot of jobs to the construction workers.” 

“Thank you, Laguna.  Garden appreciates your ease in cooperation.”

Laguna snorted.  “Listen to you, bein’ all formal with me.”  He playfully swatted Squall’s arm, eliciting a stern glance from the young man.  “A simple thank you would have been enough.”

Squall rolled his eyes. “This isn’t family affairs, Laguna.  It’s business.”

Laguna conceded and sipped his coffee.  Sometimes there was just no getting around the kid’s professional nature.  “Whatever you say. Can I see the estimates for the materials and requests for personnel?”

Squall opened his bag and removed the requested files for the President.  “Everything’s there.  We’re going to need at least two years to complete the project, so that should ensure jobs for quite a while.”

Laguna smiled as he skimmed the notes, not really paying attention to them.  It wasn’t like he really needed to see what they said.  In all actuality he had asked his son to bring everything in a selfish attempt to get more time with him.  Laguna cherished every moment they had together, even if it was over work. 

“Everything looks great, Squall.  I don’t see why the city planners won’t agree with my decision.”  He handed the files back to the young man.  “Good job, son.”

Squall scowled at the praise and turned away from Laguna to return the papers to his bag.  He began to fold up the blueprints.  “I guess that does it.  Thanks, Laguna.”

Laguna frowned, realizing Squall was about to leave. “W-wait!”  He scraped his brain feverishly, trying to find some kind of reason why Squall should stay longer.  “Wanna join me for lunch?”  He looked at his watch, disappointed when it was just after ten-thirty.

“Thank you for the offer, but I should go.  I have a mountain of paperwork to get to before the weekend.”

Laguna pouted behind his coffee cup.  “Maybe some other time, huh?”

Squall nodded silently, then turned his attention towards Laguna’s desk when the intercom buzzed.

_“Mister President, the First Lady is here.”_

Laguna smiled and set his mug on his desk.  “Send her in!”  He rounded the desk and stood next to his son.  The door opened, and Raine appeared.

“Hi honey!  Look who’s here!”  He pointed to Squall.

She offered no response as she moved slowly towards the two men.  Her feet were bare, and her eyes seemed distant.  There was a bulge under her blouse, at her waistband.

Something was wrong. 

“Raine?  You okay?”

Still silent, she stopped several feet in front of the two men.  She seemed to stare directly through them with lifeless eyes. 

Laguna started towards her.  “Raine?   Can you hear me?”  He waved his hand animatedly in the air, trying to get her attention to focus.

Her hands slowly moved to her waist and she lifted her shirt slightly, revealing the pistol.  Squall immediately moved to shield Laguna, pushing him behind his own body with his arm. 

Confused, Laguna spoke from behind his son, peeking around his body.  “Raine?  Honey what are you doing?  Just…just leave that there, okay?”  He saw Squall reach for his sidearm out of the corner of his eye.

_No Squall.  Don’t hurt her.  Something’s not right._

Squall’s body immediately stiffened and Laguna realized that he was unarmed.  The young man was slowly inching them backwards away from Raine.  Laguna moved out from behind his son, prompting the young man to give him a stern cautionary glance.

“Laguna, get behind me.”

The president put his hands in the air at chest-level, showing Raine that he didn’t intend to threaten her.  “Raine, sweetheart.  Whatever’s going on…let us help you.” 

She curled her hand around the hilt of the gun and slowly removed it from her waistband.  Her expression never changed, and she was eerily silent as she raised it to chest level.  Her eyes finally moved, settling on Squall.  Raine shifted her body slightly, taking aim at her son. 

“Kill Squall Leonhart.”

Laguna watched in horror as her finger squeezed the trigger two times.

“Payback.”

The shots were deafening in the cavernous office.  Time slowed down, and everything seemed to move at half-pace for Laguna. He turned to Squall, who stood silently.  He stared off at nothing as he brought his hand to his body.  His breathing was coming in short gasps.  With a confused look on his face, Squall poked his fingers into one of the holes in his once pristine uniform jacket.  When he removed them he looked down, cocking his head slightly at the sight of the fresh blood.  He slowly lifted his head to look at Laguna, who saw his eyes glaze over and roll back as Squall’s knees buckled and he crumpled to the ground.

Laguna tried to catch him as he fell, grabbing his shoulders just as the young man’s head was about to come in contact with the floor.  He fell to his knees, pulling Squall’s head and shoulders onto his lap, his son’s body going limp.

 Ward and Kiros appeared almost instantly from the side door, the hulking man subduing Raine with a bear hug-type grasp and knocking the weapon from her hand.  She was glassy eyed, and didn’t put up a fight as Ward pulled her away from the scene and into the corner.  The secretary from the other room burst in the door and screamed, covering her mouth with her hands.

 “Call the paramedics and the palace police!”  Kiros barked.  He then flew to Laguna’s side and immediately tore open Squall’s uniform top, buttons flying off, the chain at the collar snapping.  Laguna’s eyes were wet with tears, his face panicked.  He cried out as he saw the blood pouring from the abdominal wound on Squall’s left side, staining the thin shirt he wore underneath. 

“Squall!  Look at me!”  Laguna shook the young man forcefully.  He watched as Squall coughed, blood gurgling from his mouth.  Laguna pleaded with his son to make eye contact with him while he gently slapped his cheek in an attempt to focus his attention.  “Squall!  _Please_ look at me!”

The young man’s eyes rolled around in their sockets, obviously not able to center in on anything.  Kiros worked quickly, lifting the shirt and applying pressure with his hands to the oozing stomach wound.  “Where’s the other one, Laguna?” 

Laguna looked up at Kiros, the question not registering through the terrified fog over his brain. 

“The other wound, Laguna!  Help me find it!”

Laguna attempted to compose himself and wiped the tears from his eyes.  He helped Kiros tear the shirt from the neck down, exposing Squall’s torso.  The stomach wound was ugly, spewing blood at an alarming rate from underneath Kiros’ fingers.  Laguna’s eyes rested on his son’s heaving chest, and on a hole to the left of Squall’s left nipple.  “There!” 

Kiros kept one hand on the abdominal wound and pressed on the chest injury with the other hand.  Squall’s breaths were ragged now, and he slowly lifted his left hand to his father’s face. 

“L-lagu…can’t…br-br-breathe….” 

Laguna felt the warm, wet blood from his son’s hand stick to his cheek.  He could see the panic in Squall’s eyes.  He covered the young man’s hand with his own, squeezing tightly and feeling the slick blood ooze through his fingers.

“Stay with me, son.  Help’s coming.”  Laguna tried to soothe Squall, the fight draining from the young man’s face before his very eyes.  Squall’s eyes were fluttering shut and Laguna could tell that he was losing consciousness.  He looked down to see the growing pool of blood underneath them.  “Please Squall, don't leave me.” 

“Ch-chest…burns…”  Squall shifted slightly in Laguna’s arms, and he winced.  “Hurts…”

Laguna wiped the blood away from Squall’s chin with his thumb.  He watched helplessly as his son tried to take in air, each desperate breath leading to a cough, Squall spraying tiny droplets of blood onto Laguna’s shirt front.  In an instant, it was as if something inside Squall’s body burst, and his coughing became violent.  The delicate sprays of blood were now clots, and the crimson liquid began to trickle from the side of his mouth.

“Da…dad…”  Squall’s eyes rolled back into his head for a moment.   Laguna’s heart dropped.  He was losing him.  “I…sc-scared.  H-help…m…”

Laguna screwed his eyes shut, unable to look at his son’s terrified face.  He felt Squall’s hand fall slack from his cheek and opened his eyes to see his son’s flutter shut. 

“Squall?” He shook the man in his lap, willing him to open his eyes again.  “Squall!”

“Laguna, he’s not breathing.”  Kiros pulled the unresponsive commander from Laguna’s lap and positioned him flat on the floor, tipping the young man’s chin up and head back. His knees slipped in the blood covering the ground.  “Help me.  You breathe, I’ll do the compressions.”

Laguna just stared at Kiros.  He was frozen.  Briefly, his eyes went to Ward and Raine in the corner, the woman slumped silently in his friend’s arms, staring ahead into a void.  The giant man looked terrified.

“Laguna!”  Kiros snapped his fingers in his face.  “Pay attention!  I’m going to do thirty compressions.  You breathe hard into his mouth twice after that.  Pinch his nose shut.”

Laguna watched as his friend used the heel of his palm to press forcefully on his son’s chest, causing it to dip under the pressure.  Over and over again Kiros pumped, Laguna watching as the blood from his Squall’s mouth began to drip down the side of his face and back towards his ear. 

Kiros kept up the rhythmic pressure, counting out loud to prompt Laguna.  “Twenty-eight…twenty-nine…thirty.”

Laguna leaned over Squall and covered his son’s mouth with his own.  He exhaled hard twice.  Kiros wasted no time in resuming his compressions. 

Laguna was in a haze.  He watched as his best friend pounded on his son’s bare and bleeding chest.  Squall made no noise and never moved a muscle.  Kiros’ strong hands rocked his body back and forth on the floor.

“…Thirty!  Laguna, breathe!”

The President did as he was told once again, forcing air into Squall’s unresponsive lungs.  Surely his efforts would produce results this time.  He finished his breaths, then watched again as Kiros scowled, not finding any signs of spontaneous breathing.

Once again, Kiros began to push on Squall’s chest in a macabre cadence, Laguna’s heart breaking with each thrust.  He heard a sickening crack.

“What happened?”  He pleaded to his friend for an answer as he held his hands on either side of Squall’s head, keeping it from rolling side-to-side.  The young commander’s eyes were cracked slightly open, the whites barely visible underneath his lids.

Never stopping, Kiros blew an errant strand of hair from his eyes.  “I broke some of his ribs.”

“You’re hurting him, Kiros!”  Laguna grabbed for his friend’s arm.

Kiros shoved him away.  “It means I’m doing it right if ribs break!”  Laguna could see that Kiros’ eyes were glistening with tears.  “…twenty-nine…thirty!”

As if on autopilot, Laguna leaned close again and breathed for his son.  He could taste blood on his lips.  When he saw no response for his efforts, his stomach tightened into a knot.  “This isn’t working, Kiros!  Where the hell are the medics?”

Laguna was borderline hysterical.  His son lay dying at his knees, shot by his own mother.  It felt like a nightmare.  He swiped his hair from his face with a bloody hand, leaving a streak of crimson across his forehead. 

“This time, after you breathe, put your hand at his neck and check for a pulse, alright?”  Kiros’ voice was commanding as he pushed on Squall’s chest.

Laguna nodded, adrenaline coursing through his body.  He would not let his son die.  Not today.  Not here. 

Kiros feverishly compacted the young man’s torso.  Laguna kept his hands on Squall’s face, his skin beginning to look pale. 

_Hyne, he’s losing too much blood._

“Now, Laguna!”

The president deftly put his lips over his son’s and exhaled the hardest breaths that had ever come out of his lungs.   Laguna’s fingertips then went to Squall’s neck, desperately trying to find evidence of a pulse.  He panicked when his trembling fingers found nothing.  “K-Kiros…I can’t feel anything.”

As Laguna’s world collapsed around him, three EMT’s barged into the room, their gear balanced on a gurney.  They pushed Laguna and Kiros out of the way, immediately beginning to work on Squall.

The female medic was tiny, and didn’t even look as if she were strong enough to lift a man.  “When did he stop breathing, Mister President?”  She was working at a quick pace getting an intravenous line into Squall’s arm, as one of her partners started chest compressions again.

“Uhhh, about three minutes ago.  I think.”  Laguna didn’t even register that words had come out of his mouth.  He fell backwards onto his rear end and watched helplessly as the paramedics tried to save his son’s life.

“Looks like two gunshot wounds to the left side.  One abdominal, one in the chest.”  The red-headed male medic was calm and collected as he forced Squall’s mouth open with a guiding instrument and began to thread a tube down his throat. 

Laguna was numb, completely unaware of the fact that the police had arrived and were dragging Raine away in handcuffs.  He turned his attention from the EMT’s for a moment just in time to see an officer push her to get her moving.  She didn’t say a word, just stared ahead into nothingness, as if her soul no longer inhabited her body.  He knew he should care, but he was unwilling to give into his brain as it shouted at him that she was in fact responsible for the carnage that was unfolding in his office.  He didn’t want to believe that she would intentionally hurt her own son.

The red-headed medic attached a balloon-like apparatus to the tube he had placed in Squall’s throat and began to squeeze.  “He’s really hard to bag.  I think we’ve got a pneumothorax.  We’ve gotta move…quick!”

Laguna’s eyes bulged at the medical jargon.  “Pneumo-what?  What’s that?  Please don’t let him die!”

Kiros grabbed Laguna’s shoulders as he lunged toward the working medics, keeping him at a distance.  “It means there’s a hole in his lung.” 

The other EMT, an older bald gentleman, kept up his thrusts on Squall’s chest while the other scowled as he tried to give the young man breaths with an ambu-bag.  The female medic connected a bag of clear liquid to the tubing she had started in Squall’s arm, then began to attach several small flexible pads to his chest. 

“What are _those_ , Kiros?”  He covered his face with his hands and hunched forward. 

“Looks like they’re trying to find his pulse.  Those sensors will pick it up.”

She studied the readout on the small screen of the portable machine the pads were wired to.  “He’s got a heartbeat.”

Laguna cried out with relief.  “Does that mean he’s going to be okay?”  His voice was still laden with panic.

“Mister President, your son has two very serious gunshot wounds and isn’t breathing on his own.  You can ride in the front of the ambulance to the hospital with us, but we’ve got to move.  Now.”  The red-headed medic was very clear with his words as he prepared to move the unconscious young man.

Kiros dragged Laguna to his feet as the two male paramedics hoisted Squall onto the gurney, his left arm falling slack off the side.  Blood dripped from his fingers onto the floor.  The larger of the two men began squeezing the bag again, breathing for Squall as they started to move towards the door.  The female ran next to them, holding the IV bag over her head and toting the portable monitor. 

“Mister President!  Now!” 

Kiros pushed him to go with the medics, and motioned for Ward to accompany him to the waiting ambulance. The hulking man looked petrified, tears wetting his cheeks as the gurney carrying the wounded warrior flew past him.

Kiros ran at Laguna’s side. “I’ll go see to Raine.”  He grabbed Laguna’s arm for a quick moment, looking straight into his eyes.  “He’s a fighter, Laguna.  Remember that.”

“Get Jane!”  Laguna called back over his shoulder as he ran off after the medics, leaving Kiros in an instantly empty office. 

Blood covered the floor.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

The ride to the hospital was a blur.  It seemed to take hours as Laguna listened to the medics attempt to stabilize his son in the back.  He stared out the window as the city flew by and the siren’s wail echoed off of the buildings.

 When they arrived at the emergency room, a nurse removed him from the squad and shuffled him inside, right behind the gurney.  The paramedics were bringing the trauma team up to date on all of Squall’s vitals and stats. 

“Male, twenty-three.  Two gunshot wounds to the torso.  Left abdomen and left chest. Possible pneumothorax.  Isn’t breathing on his own, pulse and pressure are sketchy.”

They wheeled Squall into a trauma room and a nurse stopped Laguna as he tried to enter. 

“You can’t go in, Mister President.  Let the doctors work.”  The nurse, a woman about Laguna’s age, whipped out a clipboard, ready to ask questions.  Laguna just stared through the window into the room, watching as the medics lifted Squall’s lifeless body from the gurney and onto the table. 

A doctor at the head of the room barked orders as he wiggled the tube in Squall’s throat, confirming correct placement.  “Get a central line in now, he needs more fluids and blood.  And I sincerely hope that crash cart is ready.”  One nurse began listening to his chest with a stethoscope, while another attached two large flexible pads to his chest, one near the sternum and one on the side.

“What are they doing to him?”  Laguna couldn’t hold back his tears any longer. 

“Trying to save his life, Mister President.  Now, I need you to focus.  What’s his blood type?”

Laguna’s mouth felt as if it were filled with cotton as he tried to answer the nurse.  “I…I don’t know.”

“How much does he weigh?  Any allergies?  Any prior surgeries?”

“About one-sixty, I think.  I don’t know about surgeries and he’s allergic to shellfish.”

Laguna watched as the staff continued to work.  They studied the monitors, following his inconsistent heart rhythm. One nurse removed Squall’s boots and socks before she cut his pants and boxers up the legs and at the waist, tearing them from his body.   Another removed his uniform jacket and what was left of his tee shirt.  She then lifted the pendant from his chest and the ring from his finger.  She dropped them into a small basket on the counter.  The nurse listening to his chest popped up from her position.  “He doesn’t have any breath sounds on the left.”

The doctor calling the shots from the head of the bed crossed his hands over his chest.  “He needs a chest tube to get rid of that air.  Let’s flip him before the tube goes in to check for exits.”

All the team members scurried to the bedside, and on the count of three, they flipped Squall over carefully so they could check for exit wounds.  “There, left side between the ribs.”  A nurse pointed with her finger before they eased Squall to his back, mindful of the tube in his throat. 

After he was replaced on his back, a doctor moved to Squall’s left side, edging a nurse out of the way.  He took a razor-sharp scalpel from a tray beside him, and began to slice into the flesh of Squall’s torso, causing blood to instantly spurt.  Laguna’s knees went weak, and the nurse with him had to grab his arm to keep him from collapsing.

“Why is that doctor cutting his chest?”  Laguna’s mouth hung open in shock as the man then forced a heavy tube into the hole.  A small liquid-filled canister attached to the tubing immediately started to bubble. 

“That’s a chest tube, President Loire.  It’s removing the air from inside the chest cavity.  That’s why he was having trouble breathing.”  She put a hand on his back.  “Why don’t you come with me and I’ll find you a quiet place to sit?”

Laguna quickly turned to her, borderline anger flashing in his eyes.  “I’m NOT leaving him.”  He focused his attention back to the chaotic room.

While the doctor worked on his son’s chest, Laguna watched in horror as another nurse pressed a large needle into Squall’s right groin, placing a large introducer on the back before opening his skin with a scalpel in order to thread a wire through the hole, followed by a thick IV line.  She pulled the long wire back out, thick droplets of blood dripping from the end.  She then quickly placed a suture in Squall’s groin, securing the line in place. She attached the various IV lines readied by the other members of the team to the port at the end of the tubing. “Central line is in.”

 Laguna knew all the color had drained from his face watching the procedure.  He turned to the nurse accompanying him.  “Why didn’t she put that central line thing in his arm?”  His adrenaline-fueled frenzy was beginning to subside and Laguna’s whole body began shake with fear. 

“She needed a bigger vein to work with.  He’s going to need a lot of blood, medications and fluids and the femoral vein is the best inlet.”

Laguna was spiraling out of control.  He watched helplessly as his son clung to life.  His hand instinctively went to his chest, lightly touching where the bullet that had exited Squall might have gone if he hadn’t moved out from behind the young man.

 “Is…is he in any pain?”  He looked to the nurse asking him questions with teary eyes.

She patted him gently on the arm.  “More than likely not, Mister President.”

Laguna nodded slowly.  His son looked so vulnerable on that table, people prodding and cutting without him so much as flinching.  He wanted to rush in and scoop him up, and take him far away where he couldn’t be hurt anymore.  He told himself that the best place for Squall at that very moment was in the ER, with the finest doctors and nurses in all of Esthar working on him. 

 “His blood pressure’s dropping, Doctor.  Eighty-palp, heart rate is one-twenty.”

The physician behind the bed scowled.  “He’s bleeding somewhere internally.  Get some O-neg and run it in, stat.”

A nurse approached the gurney with a machine Laguna did not recognize.  “What’s that thing?”

The RN with him pointed at the team.  “It’s a rapid-infuser.  It’s going to pump extra blood into his system.  He’s lost a lot, Mister President.  She’ll connect it to the central line.”

Laguna looked at his clothing.  He was covered in the scarlet substance, as were the doctors and nurses, the floors and Squall himself.  It was everywhere.

A male physician began a quick scan of Squall’s belly using a portable ultrasound machine.  “Got a lot of blood in here.”  He studied the small screen, his brows furrowing.  “He needs the OR, the bullet hit his spleen.”

 

Laguna was just about to ask another question when all the monitors in the trauma room began blaring.  Panicked by the sounds, he grabbed the nurse by the shoulders and shook gently, prompting her to grab his hands and flick them away with a scowl.  “What’s wrong?  Please tell me!”

 

“His heart stopped, Mister President.”

 

In an instant, Laguna’s world once again crumbled around him.  He watched as the trauma team flew into action.

 

“Lost the pulse…he’s crashing.”

 

The doctor behind the bed barked more orders.  “Start chest compressions and ready an amp of epi.”  One of the others working on Squall began CPR, while another continued to administer breaths with an ambu-bag. 

 

Laguna’s hands shook.  His son’s life was slipping away before his eyes and there was nothing he could do about it.  The nurses and doctors kept up their work, breathing for Squall and trying to start his heart once again.  “Give him the epi; let’s see if his heart will come back.”

 

It was the longest two minutes of Laguna’s life. 

 

 When they finally stopped, the doctor looked to the monitors.  “He’s in PEA.  We can’t shock him yet.  Nurse, run in some bi-carb and calcium and ready the dopamine on a pump.”

 

Laguna’s head was spinning.  He didn’t understand anything they were saying, the medical terms spewing from their mouths sounded like gibberish.  He looked to the nurse accompanying him and didn’t even have to ask the questions.  She began to answer, as if she knew them already.

“PEA is short for ‘Pulseless Electrical Activity.’  It means he looks like he has a heartbeat on the monitors, but doesn’t.  And those drugs: epinephrine, bi-carb and calcium, those will help get his heart started.  The dopamine will help his heart to beat stronger.”

 

The team started the routine again, compressing, breathing, monitoring.  Squall laid there unmoving and unresponsive.  Laguna was afraid he’d never wake up.

 

“We’ve got a change on the monitor.  He’s in V-tach.  Get the pump going and let’s shock him.”

 

The nurse nodded at the doctor and wheeled a cart with an IV pump to the side of the bed, and began to hook all the tubes leading into the central line to it. 

 

Laguna tried to form words.  “Sh-shock him?  V-tach?  What’s going on?”

 

The nurse soothed him by patting his hand.  “If his heart doesn’t start on its own, they’ll have to use a defibrillator to help it along.  It shocks the heart with electricity.  Those large pads they placed on his chest to monitor his heart activity also do the jolting.  V-tach means the parts of his heart aren’t communicating with each other correctly.  His body isn’t getting the oxygen it needs.”

 

Tears streamed down Laguna’s face.  He hated feeling this helpless.

 

The doctor readied the defibrillator.  “Charging…I’m clear, everybody clear?”   The entire medical team working on the young man removed their hands from his body and the doctor depressed a button on the machine.  Squall’s body jumped on the table, his muscles twitching with the jolt. 

 

Laguna gasped at the sight. 

 

The nurses immediately resumed their CPR compressions and forced breathing.  Another two minutes seemed to crawl by at a snail’s pace, Laguna watching the doctors hover around his unresponsive son.  All the sounds of the hospital:  the doctors’ orders, the noise of the alarms on the monitors, it all seemed to be fading.  Laguna felt as if he were slipping away from reality.

 

“Still nothing.  Shock him again.”

 

Another jolt, this time stronger.  Squall’s body jerked unnaturally and his hand slipped off the table, hanging limp. 

 

The doctors kept up their tireless effort, all the while keeping calm and collected.  Laguna wondered how they could be almost nonchalant about the situation.  Then he realized that if they let their emotions get the better of them while treating patients, the very life they were trying to save would be in jeopardy.

 

More compressions, more monitoring.  Squall’s chest rose and fell abnormally with the artificial pumps from the bag in the nurse’s hand.  The monitors suddenly changed their tune, and seemed to calm their obnoxious chatter. 

 

“He’s got a pulse.  Very weak.”

 

Laguna exhaled the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.  His hands were shaking and his legs felt like jelly. 

 

“We’ve got a pressure, but it’s low.  Seventy systolic.”

 

The physician in charge grabbed a cart with a tray of surgical instruments on it.  “He’s bleeding internally.  We need to open him up and get that spleen out.  Run in some antibiotics, stat.”

 

Bile rose in Laguna’s throat and he swallowed hard.  He turned to the nurse, his lower lip trembling.  “They’re gonna take his spleen out down here?  Shouldn’t they do that in an operating room?”

 

“He could die if it doesn’t come out right now.  He’s losing too much blood from it.”  She grabbed his hand and tugged.  “Mister President, I strongly urge you to come with me.  This isn’t going to be pretty.”

 

Laguna stood his ground, planting his feet firmly to the floor.  “I told you, I’m not leaving him.  I need to be here…for both of our sakes.”  He brought his hand to his mouth as the doctor started.

 

Using a large scalpel, he didn’t hesitate as he sliced an incision into Squall’s abdomen, just underneath his ribcage.  The nurse next to him handed him a small retractor, which he placed inside the wound and cranked open, exposing the inside of Squall’s body.  Blood poured from the hole, running down the side of the table and onto the floor. 

 

Laguna watched as his son’s life essence trickled out of his body, staining the doctor’s pants. 

 

The nurses kept adding more blood bags to the infuser, and it streamed into Squall’s veins.  The doctor performing the impromptu procedure stuck his hand in the wound and located the decimated spleen.  Using small clamps, he cut off blood supply to the damaged organ and with a flick of his wrists and a scalpel, lifted it from the cavity.

 

Laguna prayed to Hyne that the nurse’s assumption that Squall wasn’t in any pain was true.

 

“Cauterizer!”

 

The nurse assisting the surgeon handed him an instrument that reminded Laguna of the wood burning tool that his father had in the garage when he was a child.  The doctor stuck it in the wound and puffs of smoke immediately rose from the hole. 

 

“What’s he doing?”  Laguna didn’t even bother to look at the nurse as he addressed her.

 

“He’s sealing off the bleeding vessels so they can take him to surgery.  It’s a quick fix until they can get in there and work properly in the OR.”

 

Covering the open wound with a sterile pad, the medical team prepared to move.  They rounded up all the portable monitors and machines attached to the young commander, and made sure all the IV lines followed with them.  The doctors haphazardly threw a blanket over Squall’s bare and bloodied body and prepared to wheel him out the door.  A doctor took over bagging him for the nurse and they unlocked the wheels of the gurney.  The nurse with Laguna pulled him back so they could exit the room. 

 

The grief-stricken President lunged forward as they made their way into the hallway with his critically injured son.  He reached out his arm as if to grab the gurney.  The nurse forcefully pulled him away.  All he got was a quick glimpse of his son’s face, spattered with blood, a tube forced down his throat.  He desperately wanted to see his blue eyes again, to hear his voice.  His skin was pale, and he looked as if he were knocking on death’s door.

 

“They have to move fast, Mister President.”

 

Laguna called out after the team, which was just about to round the corner.  “I love you, Squall!  Don’t leave me!”

 

In a heartbeat they were gone, leaving Laguna to catch his breath and will himself not to collapse in the middle of the Emergency Room.  He turned to look into the trauma room his son had just vacated.  Blood pooled on the floor, tubing and gauze littered the tiles.  The tray with the surgical equipment…and Squall’s spleen.  It looked as if a bomb had gone off.

 

One doctor had stayed behind, and was now approaching Laguna.  He looked to the man with puffy teary eyes.  He barely registered that the physician had placed the basket containing Squall’s personal belongings in his hand.  All he could see was the blood on the doctor’s pants.

 

“Mister President, I’m doctor Michael Cassidy.  Let’s go somewhere private so we can talk.”

 

Laguna didn’t answer, instead nodded his head instinctively and allowed the doctor to lead him into a small room reserved for such conversations.  The two men sat, Laguna immediately hanging his head between his legs, placing the basket on the floor at his feet.

 

“Are you alright, Mister President?  Do you need to lie down?”

 

Laguna shook his head.  “Just tell me that he’s going to live.”  His voice was barely above a whisper.  “I can’t lose him.”

 

“President Loire, your son is in very grave condition.  One bullet ruptured his spleen, which we were able to remove.  The other went right through his lung, exiting through his back.  That caused air to collect in his chest cavity.  We’ve stabilized the lung for now, but he’ll require immediate surgery to remove the bullet that hit the spleen and to take care of all the damage it caused internally. That’s where he’s going now.   I’m afraid that’s all I can tell you at this time.”

 

Laguna fought for composure as tears filled his eyes.  “Is he going to die?”

 

The doctor shook his head.  “I don’t know, Mister President.  I’m not going to sugar-coat it.  His situation isn’t good at the moment.  He lost a lot of blood, and his brain was deprived of oxygen during those moments where his heart wasn’t beating.  I also don’t know what the surgeons will find once they open him up properly.  I think there was a lot of vascular damage.”

 

“Thank you for being truthful, Doctor Cassidy.  When will I be able to see him again?”

 

The physician sighed.  “It’s going to be several hours.  There’s no way of telling how long the surgeons will need, and then he needs to be settled in the Surgical ICU before you can go up.”

 

Laguna nodded, exhausted.  He closed his eyes.

 

“If you’ll wait right here, I’ll grab a nurse and she can take you to a private waiting area on the surgical floor.”

 

The president looked up to the doctor and rose, mustering a miniscule smile.  “Thank you for helping my son.”  He extended a shaky hand, which the doctor promptly shook. 

 

“There’s no need to thank me, Mister President.”  He motioned for Laguna to sit again.  “Hang tight and the nurse will be right in to move you.”

 

He exited the room, leaving a weary Laguna all alone in the suddenly silent hospital.  He knew that it wasn’t truly quiet, but in that moment, Laguna ceased to hear anything.  He slipped into an unknown place in his mind and replayed the morning’s horrible events.

 

How could Raine have done such a thing?  What brought her to it? 

 

Tears streamed from Laguna’s eyes.  He couldn’t hold back anymore.  He curled up into a ball and lay sideways on the couch, pleading mentally to anyone or anything to begin this terrible day again.  To miraculously make his son appear at the door, ready to go home.  To be able to go back to his apartment and find Raine there, baking a cake and greeting him with her infectious smile.

 

_This has to be a dream.  Wake up, Loire!_

His attention wandered to the floor, where his eyes fell upon the tiny gray basket he had brought in with him.  Sitting up, Laguna grabbed it and set it in his lap. 

 

Squall’s wallet.  His phone, signaling that he had one missed call.  His ring and pendant.  Laguna took the metal chain in his hand, lifting it so Griever hung in the air.  He felt tears sting his eyes as he saw that the necklace was spattered with blood, as were some of the chain links.  He replaced the sullied piece of jewelry back in the container and picked up the ring.  All the intricate etched parts of the regal lion were caked with dried blood. 

 

Laguna’s body shuddered with sobs.  He took the items from the basket and deposited them in his pockets.  Everything but the ring.

 

He slipped it on his right middle finger.  He promised himself that he wouldn’t take it off until he could give it back to Squall properly.

 

 

 

 

 

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_A/N:  This chapter could not have been possible without the extraordinary help of one of our very own ff.net authors, Rydia Pryde.  Her medical expertise helped me bring this chapter to life…very, very graphic life._

_You put up with all my questions (all 35-thousand of them!), especially the dumb ones.  The information you provided was everything I needed and hoped it would be.  This chapter is dedicated to you.  I could never thank you enough, my friend!_

 

 

 


	51. Phoenix:  Chapter Fifty

Phoenix: Chapter Fifty

                “Stack! Stack! Stack!”

Jane Rylos’ students clapped and chanted as she balanced textbooks on her head. She was having trouble with the sixth one.

“Shoosh, guys! I’m losing my concentration!” She stuck her tongue out of the side of her mouth as she lifted the tome onto the pile on top of her head. Her spiky hair made a great nest for the books, as the multitude of hair products gave them something to stick to.

She would have never voluntarily wasted class time with such shenanigans, but the instructor had lost a bet with her students. She predicted that only three-quarters of the class would score higher than an eighty on the last test. If she lost, she had to stack books on her head for them.

They all got perfect scores.

Needless to say, she was very proud of her cadets, and dutifully respected their request to pile textbooks on her hair. They kept up their encouragement as student in the front row handed her another Centran History book. Jane eased the next volume onto the top of the stack, holding her breath as it shifted slightly. She stood still, unsure just how much more her back and neck could handle.

“Miss Jane Rylos?”

Her attention snapped to the top of her classroom where two very official-looking men stood, eyeing her quizzically. Jane’s abrupt movement caused the books perched precariously on her head to tumble in every direction, some crashing to the floor while others landed on the desk behind her. The students laughed and she shushed them with a raised hand.

“It depends on who’s asking.” She pushed some of the fallen books under her desk with her foot. The men set her on edge.

“We need to speak with you.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, obscuring the smiling Moogle on her shirt front. “Can’t this wait twenty minutes until my class ends? I know it doesn’t look like we were up to anything important, but my students still deserve all of their instructional time.”

The larger of the two men began to walk slowly down the side stairs. “I’m afraid this can’t wait.”

Realizing they were on a mission, Jane conceded. “Alright, if it’s really that pressing, come down here and we can talk in my office.” She turned to her students. “Please start to read the next chapter about Odin in your textbooks. Keep it quiet, okay? I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Jane watched as the two men descended the stairs. As they neared her, she saw that they were Presidential Police officers. Usually when agents visited unannounced it wasn’t a social call.

She motioned to the door of her office and followed them in, shooting her students a stern warning glance to behave in her absence. She stopped just inside the door, leaning back to watch her cadets as they talked.

“You might want to close the door, Miss Rylos.”

Jane arched an eyebrow at the officer. “O-kaaay.” She nudged the door shut with her foot. “Alright, what’s so important that you had to disrupt my class?”

The large man introduced himself. “I’m Lieutenant Lucroy. I was asked by Ambassador Seagill to come get you.”

Jane’s palms began to sweat and she felt her heart begin to pound. She tried not to panic as her eyes darted back and forth between the officers. Her mind began to race, trying to piece together what business they had with her. Perhaps something was wrong with Laguna, or possibly…

“Miss Rylos, there’s been an incident at the Palace. Commander Leonhart has been injured.”

Jane felt all the color drain from her face and lips parted slightly. Her hands began to shake uncontrollably and her heart felt as if it had skipped a beat. She closed her eyes, trying to compose herself.

“What do you mean, _injured?_ ” Her mouth felt as if it was full of gauze, and she suddenly became lightheaded. She leaned against her desk for support, causing the other officer to grab her arm in an attempt to steady her. “He was just going to show Laguna some blueprints. How could he have been hurt doing that?” Her mind tried to find any reason it could to prove that the agents were mistaken. “Is he okay?”

The lieutenant looked to his partner for a moment, as though he was asking for silent permission to divulge anything else. “The only thing I can tell you is that he has been wounded. The Ambassador instructed us to bring you directly to the hospital.”

 _Wounded. Hospital._ The words stung Jane’s ears. She stood silently, unable to even acknowledge the officers.

“Miss? Did you hear me?”

Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes, but she was unwilling to let them fall. She had to stay strong long enough to get out of the classroom.

“I, uh… just need to gather my things.” She moved as if she were on autopilot, not really in control of her actions as she grabbed her purse from the wall hook. Terror coursed through her veins and she tried not to let her mind wander to all the horrible outcomes that it was in the process of coming up with. If she did, she’d crumble.

The officer that had steadied her opened the door, ushering her through. Jane inhaled deeply to address her concerned students.

“Instructor? Is everything alright?” A young female cadet stood to address her.

Jane swallowed hard. “No. I…I need to leave.” She fought to keep the tears in her eyes from falling to the floor. “I need you guys to stay here until dismissal. There’s a worksheet on my desk…” Jane’s chest hitched as she fought back a sob. “…please sit quietly and finish it. Cadet Aoki, I want you to make a small sign and attach it to the door saying the rest of my classes are cancelled for the day. Please lock up when you when you leave.”

Jane’s internal walls were crumbling. She knew she needed to get out of the classroom fast, before she lost control of her emotions.

“Yes, Instructor.” Cadet Aoki grabbed the stack of papers from the corner of the desk and handed them out to her fellow classmates.

Jane nodded silently, knowing that if she said anything more her voice would falter and she would begin to cry. She followed the officers up and out of the classroom and they led her to a waiting squad car.

 

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Laguna paced in the small but comfortable waiting room. The shades on the windows were open, allowing him to look down at the people on the street every time he passed by.

_How oblivious they all are. They have no idea what has happened._

He looked up at the clock on the wall, frustrated that only a minute had passed since his last glance.

He was beginning to hate that clock.

His mind wandered, as it had been doing for the last hour. He wrung his hands together, causing some of the dried blood to flake off and fall to the carpeted floor. Laguna knew he should wash them, but couldn’t bring himself to do so. In a morbid way, it was a link to Squall, who was somewhere on the same floor, fighting for his life.

Laguna’s thoughts turned dark. Before he could stop his mind, he found himself trying to think about what would happen if Squall didn’t survive. His life would never be the same. He would have lost both his wife and child in the same day. He briefly contemplated suicide if he were to have to live without them.

_He could be dead right now. My only child…_

The president mentally cursed himself for thinking such horrible thoughts. Tired of pacing, he sat in a plush chair facing the windows. He leaned back, tipping his head back and resting it on the pillowed top of the piece of furniture. Closing his eyes, he took a few deep cleansing breaths and reminded himself that his son was a fighter—that he was tough.

The door opening snapped him out of his meditative state. He turned his head to find Jane.

She stood silently, visibly shaking. Her eyes were puffy, cheeks wet with tears. She just stared at him, her mouth agape. As he stood, her face twisted into a shocked façade, hitching breaths leaving her chest.

Laguna looked down once again to his bloody clothes, thankful that he had at least scrubbed most of the smeared blood from his face.

“That’s not your blood, is it?”

Laguna’s face was solemn as he raised his head to make eye contact. He almost couldn’t look at her. She was terrified, her eyes silently pleading with him to tell her what she more than likely didn’t want to hear. He shook his head.

“No.”

She began to cry, her body shuddering as her head sunk slightly. “What happened? Please tell me he’s okay.”

Laguna didn’t even know how to respond. He struggled to find appropriate words. “He…uhhhh…he was shot.” He looked down at his bloody shirt once more. “He’s in surgery now. It’s…it’s bad, Jane.”

“Shot? But…he was in your office! You two were just looking over blueprints!” Her voice was laced with confusion. “How could he get shot in your office?”

Laguna looked down at the floor. “Raine. It was…Raine.” He couldn’t control his tears, and let them fall freely to the floor. He didn’t even bother to wipe them away.

Jane just stood silently, the only evidence of her sadness being the tears in her eyes and the tremors that wracked her body. “I don’t understand. R-Raine?”

“I don’t understand either. She just came in, and it was like she was another person. She couldn’t hear us. And then she…” Laguna closed his eyes as the horrible memory flashed in his brain. “…shot him.”

Jane brought her hands to her mouth and covered it, her left hand on top, revealing the sparkling diamond on her finger. Laguna’s heart sunk even more. He approached her, gently grabbing her left hand and turning it to get a better look at the ring.

“Oh, Jane…”

She looked down at her hand in Laguna’s and immediately melted into his embrace, her tears soaking through his shirt. “He proposed a few days ago. We were going to surprise you both at Sunday dinner.” She wept uncontrollably, every hiccupping sob tearing at Laguna’s heart. In an instant, the situation had just become much, much worse. Laguna fought to keep his emotions in check, but lost the battle. Tears streamed down his face, and he was lost in a swirl of sadness, fear and denial.

_Why did this happen? Especially now that he has decided to make one of the biggest leaps of his life? It isn’t fair._

They stood in the middle of the room for a long moment, crying together, letting their pain and fear flow as they held each other tightly. Jane finally started to pull away.

“I need to sit down. I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

Laguna guided her to the couch and poured her a glass of water from a small pitcher on the table. She sipped it gingerly. He sat next to her and placed an arm around her back. She leaned in close and rested her head on his shoulder. “How bad is it, Laguna? Don’t lie to me.”

The president sighed and shook his head mournfully. “He was shot twice. Both on the left side of his chest. One of the bullets…” His breath hitched, forcing him inhale calmly to steady his nerves. “…one of them hit his spleen. They took it out right there in the ER.” His voice faltered. “The other one went through his lung and out his back. He wasn’t breathing by himself and they had to…to sh-shock his heart because it stopped.”

He felt Jane curl up into the crook of his arm, her sobs making both of their bodies shake. “He wasn’t…you know, awake when they were cutting him open, was he?”

Laguna sighed. “No. The nurse with me assured me that he couldn’t feel anything. He was out cold.” He hoped he wasn’t lying to the frightened young woman. He never saw Squall flinch during any of the procedures, so he assumed that there was no pain involved.

“He stopped breathing in my office. Kiros and I did CPR until the medics arrived.” Laguna sighed heavily, the exhaustion of the morning beginning to catch up with him. “Never in my life would I have imagined that I would need to resuscitate my son.”

A muffled voice came from Laguna’s side. “Do they think he’ll make it?”

His shoulders slumped. “I don’t know, Jane. I honestly don’t know.” Laguna felt an unnerving feeling of dread creep up on him. He could very well lose his son today.

“When can we see him?”

Laguna squeezed his arm around her. “I don’t know that either. The doctor that came to talk to me after they whisked him away said the surgery could take several hours.”

Laguna could feel her shoulders slump as she nestled closer to his body. “I didn’t even tell him I loved him this morning.” She wiped her eyes on a tissue.

Laguna rested his cheek on Jane’s hair. “He knows you do. And I’d like to believe that all of our love for him is going to help him through this. He’s not one to give up without a fight.” For the first time that day, Laguna had had a positive thought.

“Where’s Raine now?”

“Honestly? I don’t know.” His emotions were dueling with each other. Part of him wanted to know where she was, if she was alright. But, a larger part of his brain was angry. He couldn’t believe that she would hurt her child. Their child. Yet another portion of his thoughts were confused. He couldn’t think of a reason why she would have shot him. She had been fine that morning when he had left. Something had to have happened, something that drastically altered her state of mind. What it was, he hadn’t a clue.

“Why would she do something like this, Laguna?”

He sighed. “I wish I knew, honey. I wish I could start this whole day over again. Kiros and the police will get to the bottom of it.”

“Are you going to go and see her?”

Truthfully, Laguna didn’t want to. He was afraid he would lash out, scare her with emotions that he knew were running rampant in his mind. He would wait. Wait until the police had something more to go on. Until Kiros had some evidence.

Until he knew if his son was alive or dead.

“I haven’t decided yet. I can’t even think about that right now. Wherever she is, she’s being taken care of.”

The pair sat for ages on the couch, holding each other tightly in a silent vigil. The clock kept ticking on the wall, and before Laguna knew it an hour had passed.

“How long has it been? Since…since they took him away?”

Laguna removed his arm and sat forward, stretching his neck. “About two hours. The doctor said the surgeons would be working for a long time.” He stood, arching his arms behind his back. “I think I need some air. There’s a balcony down the hall, want to join me?”

Jane remained seated. “No, thank you. I think I’ll stay here, in case the doctor comes.”

Laguna nodded. “I won’t be gone long. Bring you back a cup of coffee?”

Jane mustered a faint smile. “Sure.”

 

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Laguna took a long drag on the cigarette he had acquired from a sympathetic custodian. He hadn’t smoked in years, but somehow the stress of the day had brought him to it. He remembered how it used to make him feel, how the smoke exiting his lungs calmed him.

The wind whipped up, blowing his tangled hair around his face. He closed his eyes and let the breeze tickle his skin as he exhaled smoke from his nostrils.

_What a horrible day._

Rustling to his left brought him back to the real world. He turned to find Kiros, a small duffel bag in his hands.

“Smoking, Laguna?”

The president took another puff. “Shut up, Kiros. I don’t want to hear it.” He blew the smoke through pursed lips away from his friend.

The man approached, letting the bag fall to the floor at his feet. “I’m not saying a word. Jane told me you were out here. I brought you the extra clothes you keep in your office.”

Laguna glanced down at the sack, then at his own body. Squall’s blood glared back at him, a reminder of just how much of the life-giving liquid had rushed out of his body.

“Thanks. My office…did they clean it yet?”

Kiros shook his head. “No. The police are there investigating. The bullet that went through him lodged in your desk. They’re going to analyze it.”

“Oh.” Laguna stared out at the city. “Was I imagining the blood Kiros? Or was there really that much of it?” Laguna looked down to his stained shirt and pants. It was even spattered on his sneakers.

“I’m afraid you weren’t imagining it, Laguna. It’s mind-numbing. I didn’t think you could lose that much and sur…” Kiros stopped himself.

Laguna hung his head. “Did you get in touch with Ellone?”

Kiros sighed, his eyes showing horrible sadness. “Yes…she was hysterical. I actually had to talk to Ryan after a minute because she couldn’t focus. I sent the Ragnarok for them. They should be home by midnight.”

Laguna just stood silently, taking another long drag. He hated to think of Elle so distraught. He prayed to Hyne that he would have good news by the time she returned.

The two friends watched the city move beneath them for a moment, Laguna finishing his cigarette and extinguishing it with the toe of his shoe on the ground. The bloodstains on them screamed up at him.

“Samantha wants to make a statement soon. The reporters are asking questions about the ambulance.”

Laguna sighed, and wished he had another cigarette. “What’s she going to say?”

Kiros turned to face his friend. “It’ll be brief. Only that Squall was shot in the office, and that the suspect—who will remain un-named for the time being due to the ongoing investigation—is in custody. She’s going to wait until we get some sort of word from the medical team so she can give the press a little bit of info.” He put a hand on Laguna’s shoulder. “Raine’s name won’t be mentioned.”

The president nodded his acceptance. “Okay. Tell her I don’t want her taking any questions.”

“You got it.” Kiros let go of his friend’s arm. “Any news on Squall?”

Laguna put his hands on the railing and extended his arms in front of his body, stretching his back and hanging his head between his limbs. He sighed heavily, feeling tears begin to creep into his eyes. “No. No, no, no!” He stomped his foot, emphasizing his words. He began to cry, tears falling to the cement below. “I’m the fucking president, for Hyne’s sake and nobody will tell me anything!”

Kiros lay a comforting hand on his back. “They’re working hard, Laguna. It takes time.”

Laguna inhaled deeply, thankful for the reassuring weight of his friend’s hand on his body. “I just want to know if he’s…still with me.” He turned his face upwards to look at Kiros. “It was really bad in the ER, man. He actually died for a few minutes.” He lowered his face again, hair hanging loosely at either side.

The wind whipped up again, causing Kiros to turn away from the blustery air for a moment. When it subsided, Laguna stood up straight. He tapped his hands on the metal railing, his wedding band clinking against the smooth surface. “He proposed to Jane, Kiros. A few days ago.”

Laguna saw his friend sigh and shake his head in disbelief. “He was finally ready to take a huge leap in his life, and now it might all be taken away with two bullets…fired by his very own mother.” Laguna shook his head in disbelief. “Where is she, Kiros?”

The tall man stared out at the city. “In custody.”

“She sayin’ anything?”

“Nothing other than she’s scared and doesn’t know what happened. She’s…been asking for you, and Squall. I’m going to sit in on the formal interrogation in about an hour. The palace attorney has been appointed as counsel.”

Laguna sighed. Never would he have thought that his legal team would be defending his own wife. He turned to his friend, eyes wet with tears. “It wasn’t her, Kiros. She wasn’t ‘there’ in the office. When she came in, I knew something was off right away.” He stared out at the city. “I don’t think she knew what she was doing, or if she was even in control of her actions.”

Kiros laid his hand on top of Laguna’s. “I’m going to get to the bottom of this, man. I promise you.” He extended his arms, inviting his dear friend into an embrace.

Laguna let his shoulders slump and allowed Kiros to wrap his arms around him. The two men stood on the balcony, the President sobbing for his broken family.

 

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Laguna entered the small room to find Jane dozing on the couch. She was sprawled out across its length, her short legs not long enough to touch the other end. She had used her purse as a pillow.

He tried to shut the door as quietly as he could so he wouldn’t disturb her, but she jumped anyway at the sound. Her eyes shot open and she almost fell off the sofa.

“Sorry! I tried not to wake you.” He dropped the bag that he had filled with his soiled clothes on the floor next to the chair. He offered her a cup of coffee. “It’s from the vending machine, so I can’t vouch for the quality.”

Jane swung her legs over the side of the couch and graciously accepted the steaming cup, taking a sip. She wrinkled her face and pursed her lips. “Shit, this is awful.” She looked up at him. “You changed your clothes.”

Laguna nodded, sitting next to her. “Yeah, Kiros brought me some new ones. I didn’t realize just how stained my other ones were until I got them off.” He reached into the pocket of his new pants, pulling out Squall’s wallet and phone. “Here, the doctors gave me these. I figured you should keep them with you.”

Jane set her cup down and accepted and held the items, running her fingers over the smooth leather of her fiancé’s wallet. She dropped it in her purse, keeping the phone with her a bit longer. She swiped her thumb across the screen activating the device. Her head sunk as she saw the prompt flashing at her.

“The missed call was me. I think it was after it happened.” She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. “I was going to remind him to meet me at my apartment after he was done for the day. We were going to…” She began to cry softly. “…start bringing some of my stuff over to his place.”

Laguna patted her thigh lightly. “You’ll still get to do that, Jane. You guys are going to have a wonderful life together.”

She looked up at Laguna with teary eyes. “I really want to believe that. But right now it’s hard, you know? I mean, we don’t even know if he’s okay.”

“The doctor will come by soon, I can feel it. It’s like the faeries are singin’.” He tried to put on a brave face for her. But inside, he was terrified that when the doctor came through the door he or she would tell them that Squall was gone.

He sat quietly for a moment and sipped at his horrid coffee as Jane switched off Squall’s phone, stashing it in her purse with his wallet. She then tapped his right hand, more specifically his middle finger. “You’re wearing Griever.”

Laguna looked down at his son’s blood-stained ring on his finger. “Y-yeah. The doctors took off all his jewelry. I didn’t want to lose it, so I put it on. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to keep it. Until I can give it back to him personally, that is.”

“It’s dirty. You should clean it.” She just stared at the ring on Laguna’s finger.

“Yeah, maybe.” He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out the pendant that had been around his son’s neck. “Take this. Keep it safe.”

Jane held it in her hands, running her finger lightly over the specks of blood on its polished surface. After a moment, she unclasped the catch and put the chain around her neck. She secured the clasp, letting Griever fall into her shirt collar. “I’d like to think that in a strange way, if I wear this…” She sighed heavily, closing her eyes. “…that it’ll connect us somehow. Like he’ll know that I’m here.” She chuckled softly. “Boy, if that didn’t sound like the cheesiest thing ever.”

Laguna placed his arm around her shoulder. “Hey, I like cheese. And I get it. That’s kinda how I feel by wearing his ring.”

Jane set her purse on the floor and grabbed her coffee cup. Once again, she sipped at the strong brew, wincing at the taste. “Why the hell do I keep going back for more? Take this away from me.” She handed Laguna the cup. “You know, Laguna, while you were gone and I tried to rest, my mind kept racing.”

“About what?”

She sighed. “I’ve been trying to think of ways that I could have prevented this whole mess. Like, if I would have kept him at home for ten more minutes, he would have been in a different spot in your office. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad.” She looked down at her feet. “It’s silly, I know.”

“Yes, it’s silly, but it’s okay. You’re grieving, trying to make sense of this terrible tragedy.”

Jane leaned back on the couch, prompting Laguna to do the same. He inched closer to her and placed his arm on the back of the sofa, behind Jane’s neck. “You can’t blame yourself for any of this. I don’t think it would have mattered if he was standing on the couch, or even jumping on it. The outcome would have been the same.” Laguna scratched his neck.

“Raine wasn’t ‘there’, Jane. I knew something was wrong the minute she set foot in the office. I think Squall did too.” He hesitated, knowing that he was getting into graphic territory with his memory of that morning. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to relive it just yet. But, he realized that in a strange way, Jane needed to hear it, to help her understand. “He shielded me, you know.”

Jane sat forward and turned to look at Laguna. “He did?”

“Yeah. He was ready to protect me.”

Jane smiled softly. “That’s because he loves you. Even though he doesn’t say it…he does.”

Laguna nodded. He knew Squall loved him. He couldn’t remember a time where the young man had actually said the words, but deep down in his heart, he knew it.

“I know he does.” He blew out a breath. “It was surreal, Jane. She lifted her shirt and revealed that gun and he just pushed me behind him. He didn’t show any fear. It wasn’t until he got hit that I actually saw the terror in his eyes.”

Laguna’s stomach churned at the memory of Squall’s face, his eyes. The panic that swam in those blue orbs, the pain in his expression. The way his chest heaved as the young man tried desperately to breathe. Tears began to collect in the corners of Laguna’s eyes.

“It scares me to think that he was afraid. He _never_ gets scared.” Jane wiped her eyes. “It must have hurt so bad.” Her voice trembled.

Laguna just nodded. He had been shot, sort of, once. He remembered how it felt. The pain that Squall must have experienced in the moments before he lost consciousness made Laguna shudder. He knew it had to have been excruciating.

“Did he say anything?”

Laguna sighed. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell her what he had said. That he had been scared. “He said his chest burned, and that he couldn’t breathe. It was hard to understand him; the words weren’t coming out very clearly because he couldn’t catch his breath. He was coughing up a lot of bl…” He stopped himself and wiped a stray tear from his cheek and looked away from Jane’s gaze for a moment.

“There’s more you’re not telling me, isn’t there?” Jane looked straight at him. It was obvious that she wanted more information. And she deserved to hear what had gone on. Laguna respected her enough to tell her the truth.

“He…he called me ‘Dad.’ He said, ‘Dad, I’m scared. Help me.’ Then he went out.” Laguna couldn’t hold the tears back any more, and he wept freely. Jane embraced him and they cried together. “It breaks my heart knowing that the last feeling he had was fear.”

Jane’s voice was muffled by Laguna’s shirt fabric. “I just want this to be over. I want to see him and know that he’s going to be okay.”

“Me too, sweetheart. Me too.”

The pair spent the next two hours taking turns pacing, staring at the clock and trying to find anything to take their minds off of Squall. Laguna had just read the same magazine for the third time when the door opened.

A young woman in her early thirties dressed in scrubs and a white doctor’s coat stepped over the threshold. Laguna and Jane immediately sprang from the couch and were instantly at attention.

Laguna couldn’t control his emotions and blurted out, “Please tell us that he’s okay!” He grabbed his left thigh, a cramp beginning to twist in the muscle.

The physician smiled softly. “Mister President, Miss…I’m Doctor Detsy Hildebrandt. I was Mr. Leonhart’s trauma surgeon. Let’s sit down and I can bring you up to speed and answer all of your questions.” She motioned to the couch, then seated herself in the adjacent chair.

“How’s Squ…wait a minute, did you say your name was ‘Detsy?’” Laguna cocked his head at the unusual name, effectively taking his mind off of his son for a quick moment.

“Yes, Mister President. My parents were…eccentric.” She winked and smiled slightly. “Now, I know that you’re anxious to hear about your son, but I’m afraid that only next of kin are legally allowed to hear about his medical condition.” She looked to Jane.

Laguna immediately stepped in, voice stern. “This is his fiancée. _She stays_.”

“I see. In that case, your son is out of surgery and is currently being settled in the surgical ICU.”

“That means he’s alive!” Laguna and Jane embraced, tears beginning to fall from both pairs of eyes.

“Yes, Mister President. He’s alive, but in extremely critical condition. The two bullets that entered his body caused massive damage. I had to make sure I closed off all the small nicks that were still bleeding and that everything was sealed off internally after his rather hasty…and messy splenectomy.”

Laguna winced at the memory, as Jane tightened her grip on his hand. The image of the doctor lifting an actual piece of his son out of his body still made him shudder. It probably would forever. He looked to the trembling young woman, seeing the tears welling up at the bottoms of her glasses, and comforted her with a reassuring squeeze of her hand.

“I also evacuated quite a bit of blood from the abdominal cavity. He had massive amounts of hemorrhaging. We made sure his lung was stabilized and left in the chest tube. Finally, we removed the quick central line the ER docs placed in his groin and replaced it with a proper one in the neck.” She reached into the pocket of her coat and removed a small plastic bag containing what looked like metal. Laguna cocked his head and squinted to get a better look at the piece. “Plus, I had to root around for this.”

“Is that the bullet?”

“More like one of about fifteen pieces of it. This thing was designed to fragment, and fragment it did. Someone wanted to create as much damage as possible. These suckers were everywhere.” She placed it back in her pocket. “I’d give you a little souvenir, but ballistics will want this back.”

Laguna shook his head slightly. He didn’t want it anyway. He never wanted to see another bullet as long as he lived. Laguna drew in a long breath and rubbed his hands up and down his face. “Is he going to make it?”

Doctor Hildebrandt’s face was serious. “It’s too early to say, Mister President. He sustained a lot of damage internally, and I’ll admit that I’m concerned about the blood loss he experienced. That, and the fact that his brain didn’t receive any oxygen while his heart was stopped. You did the right thing by starting chest compressions in your office right away when he stopped breathing. It bought him some time.”

Laguna wrung his hands. He didn’t even want to ask his next question. “When you say you’re worried about his brain being deprived, you mean brain damage, right?” Jane’s body shuddered with Laguna’s words, her quiet cries muffled in her hand.

“I’m not going to lie to you, Sir. It’s a possibility.” The doctor set her hands in her lap. “But for right now, it’s the least of my concerns. He’s in a medically induced coma so his body can begin the recovery process. The first milestone he needs to hit is being able to breathe on his own, coupled with keeping his blood pressure and heart rate steady without medications. After that, when—and if—he regains consciousness, we’ll be able to tell if there will be any permanent damage.”

Laguna cringed when she mentioned the possibility that he might not regain consciousness. The thought of his son in a vegetative state was almost too much for him to bear. What-if scenarios began flooding his mind, along with the real possibility of having to make the heartbreaking decision to pull the plug. He mentally slapped himself, angry at his brain for going to such a dark place.

“The next forty-eight to seventy-two hours are going to be the most critical for him. He has a lot of fighting to do, and right now the deck is stacked against him with all the blood loss. His body is in shock. It’s still very touch-and-go.”

Jane, who had been silent for the conversation, finally spoke up, her voice quiet. “When can we see him?” She wiped her eyes on her shirt sleeve.

Detsy offered the young woman a box of tissues that was next to her on a small table. “Right now they’re getting him set up in the ICU. He needs to be hooked up to the monitors and vent, then they will want to observe him for a while to make sure everything is going okay before they allow visitors. Probably another hour.”

Jane and Laguna both lowered their eyes. Laguna thought they were going to be able to see him right away.

“I’ll warn you, though. When you finally do get to go back, it’s going to be hectic and loud. He won’t look like what you’re used to. He’s still not breathing on his own, so there will be a tube in his throat attached to a pretty loud machine that will be giving him breaths. There’s going to be a lot of tubes and wires going into him. Lots of beeping and buzzing monitors, too.”

Jane sighed, and Laguna could feel her slump back against his body once more. He gently patted her hand.

“Do you have any more questions for me, Mister President? Miss?”

Laguna just shook his head, casting his eyes to the floor. He looked down to Jane, her face obscured by her hand. The trembling sobs coming from her body broke Laguna’s heart.

Doctor Hildebrandt stood, prompting Laguna to do the same. Jane just sat in her spot, frozen. “A nurse from the ICU will come down and get you when they’re ready. I’ll come back and check on your son in a few hours.”

Laguna extended his hand to the woman. “I, uhhh…can never thank you enough for everything you’ve done for Squall.”

“It’s my job to see that your son gets the finest care in Esthar. Even though I don’t know him personally, I can tell that he’s a fighter.” She leaned down and tapped Jane on the knee. The young woman sat as still as a statue, hand still covering her face. “Miss? I’m going to do everything in my power to bring your fiancé back to you. I give you my word.”

Jane finally removed her hand and looked at the doctor with tear filled eyes. Her voice was barely above a whisper. “I know you will. Thank you.”

The doctor’s lips curled into a tiny smile. She turned her attention back to the President. “It’ll be soon, Sir. Just hang tight.”

She left, leaving Laguna and Jane alone once again in the silent room. Laguna turned at the sound of Jane’s small hiccups, making her chest hitch.

“Hey, don’t cry. We’re gonna see him soon.” Laguna stood next to her and guided her up and into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his back and squeezed. “Listen, I need to step out for a minute and update Kiros. Samantha wants to make a statement soon.”

Jane let her arms fall limp at her sides. “Okay.”

“I won’t be gone long, alright? Then before we know it, the nurse will come and we can go see Squall.” He lifted her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes. “We’re gonna get through this. _He’s_ gonna get through this.”

She just nodded as she sunk back to the couch. She pushed her glasses up onto her forehead to pinch the bridge of her nose.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

The walk to the ICU was the longest of Laguna’s life. Jane stuck close, her hand encased tightly in his own. The nurse accompanying them was rattling off the rules of the unit.

“…and you need to wash your hands as soon as you get to the doors. There’s a sink outside his pod. Don’t touch anything that beeps, lights up or is connected to his body or the wall sockets.”

“Can we touch _him_?” Laguna’s eyes were hopeful.

“Of course. Just don’t touch the tube in his throat or anything that has a dressing on it. Try to keep it to exposed skin only. You could pat his leg through the sheets too, if you want.” She stopped them in the middle of the hallway. “Neither of you are sick, right? No runny nose or fever?”

They both shook their heads.

“Good. If you start to feel ill, please stay out of the ICU. The patients here are very vulnerable to infection.” They got to a set of heavy doors, which the nurse opened by pushing a large button with her fist. “Alright, we’re here.”

Laguna took a deep breath, and grasped Jane’s hand tightly.

The surgical intensive care unit was bustling. Nurses and doctors scurried around, popping in and out of the small rooms that encircled a large nurse’s station. The whole place was loud, the sound of machines, alarms and people talking.

Laguna didn’t like it.

No one so much as looked at them as they were ushered to the back of the ward. Laguna was grateful that everyone left them alone. Jane was practically attached to his hip, and she seemed even tinier than ever to Laguna, huddled next to him as they walked. The nurse stopped at a glass door, a curtain pulled across it.

“Here’s the sink. Wash up and you can go in.” She slid the door open halfway and pulled the curtain back slightly, to allow them to enter.

Not able to see around the curtain, Laguna did what he was told and scrubbed his hands harder than he had ever done before. He watched as the dried blood on his hands finally rinsed away, along with the caked bits on Griever. He held his hands up, watching as his son’s ring was restored to its former shiny glory. Jane washed and dried her hands, then turned to the nurse.

“Don’t be afraid. He’s stable right now, and that’s winning in my book.” The nurse smiled sincerely.

Laguna began to move to the door, but was held back by Jane grabbing his hand. He turned to look at her.

“I…I don’t think I can do this, Laguna.” Her face was beginning to show signs of panic, her eyes darting around and her breath coming in short gasps. “I don’t know if I can see him like this. I…feel like I’m going to puke again.”

Laguna placed his hands on her shoulders and bent his head slightly to look into her eyes. “Jane. Look at me.” She raised her eyes to meet his. “You can do this. Look, he needs us to be strong for him right now. I know that you’re scared to see him all hooked up to machines and hurt. Me too. But we need to do this. He needs us to go in there and be his cheering squad.”

Jane’s eyes were glistening with tears. “I just…”

Laguna didn’t give her time to finish. “Come on, Squall’s waiting.”

He took her shaking hand and led her through the door.

The room was small, filled with monitors and machines. The figure in the bed was motionless and pale. Tears began to well up in Laguna’s eyes as Jane gasped, buried her head in his side, and instantly began to sob.

Squall looked terrible.

He had been covered to his waist by a thin blanket, his exposed chest and head were a mass of tubes, wires and bandages. Laguna’s eyes scanned the young man up and down. The chest tube that had been placed in the ER was still there, along with the sensors to monitor his heart rate. A large gauze bandage covered the spot where the doctors had removed his spleen. Blood was beginning to seep through the fabric.

The young man’s chest rose and fell awkwardly as the ventilator forced air into his lungs. It jostled his whole body. The skin around his ribcage was beginning to bruise. Laguna figured it was from the vigorous CPR that Kiros had performed. The remnants of the iodine solution the surgeons had used to cleanse his skin before surgery were still there, staining his body with an unnatural bronze hue. Laguna could see that blood was still spattered on his hands and arms, as well as his cheeks.

As he inched closer to the bed, Jane in tow, his eyes rested on a large tube placed into the vein in Squall’s neck on the right side. He didn’t remember that being there in the ER. It was hooked up to several IV pumps surrounding the head of the bed, filled with various medications and blood.

They arrived at the foot of the bed and separated, Jane going to the right side, Laguna to the left. As he neared his son’s head, Laguna’s heart sunk. Squall’s eyes were taped shut. Of all the things to rattle him, something as small as tiny pieces of clear tape had done it. He couldn’t hold back anymore. Tears flowed freely from exhausted eyes.

The nurse stayed at the foot of the bed. “He stable for the moment. We’re watching his blood pressure closely right now; he’s had trouble keeping it steady. He’s on a medication to try and fix that. The vent is breathing for him, but hopefully he won’t need its help much longer. If either of you have any questions, I’ll gladly answer them.”

Laguna took Squall’s hand in his own. It was warm. There was no muscle tone to it, and Laguna wished Squall would just squeeze. His voice was laden with concern. “Why are his eyes taped shut?”

“They aren’t closing all the way. Sometimes that happens with comatose patients. The tape saves us from having to put eye drops in every ten minutes. There’s a bit of wet gauze underneath each lid to keep his corneas moist.”

“Oh. Okay.” Laguna rubbed his thumb over the top of his son’s hand. “When will you take it off?”

“When he’s extubated and starting to show signs of waking up. Then he’ll be able to let his eyes flutter.”

Jane still stood back from the bed, seemingly unwilling to get closer. “Is he in any pain?”

“No. He’s heavily sedated with Fentanyl in an attempt to keep him in the coma. I know it sounds odd to want him comatose, but it’s the best thing for him right now. He’s in shock from the massive blood loss and trauma of surgery and cardiac arrest. His body needs to conserve energy, and keeping him down like this allows that to happen.”

Jane had moved to Squall’s head, where she bent down and began to whisper in his ear. She lovingly stroked his forehead, moving some errant hair away.

“Hey, Leonhart. Squall?” She caressed his ear. “I don’t know if you can hear me or not, but I just want you to know that I love you more than anything in the world. You can’t leave me, you hear? You have to fight.” She closed her eyes, forcing tears from the corners and rested her head against his. She stayed like that for a long moment, Laguna watching silently as she wept. She finally rose, kissing Squall’s forehead before standing erect again. She turned to the nurse. “Do you think he heard me?”

The older woman nodded. “It’s possible. Studies have shown that some unconscious and comatose patients have remembered being talked to. It can’t hurt.” She moved next to Laguna, nudging him gently so she could get by. “I just want to peek at his vitals, then I’ll leave you for a moment to have some private time.”

She clicked her tongue on the roof of her mouth while she studied various readouts. “Looking good.” She scooted past Laguna again, placing a comforting hand on his back as she moved. “I’ll get out of your hair for a while. The other nurses and I will be in and out regularly to check on him, but I’ll try and give you some privacy. Don’t be frightened by all the alarms and beeps coming from the machines. Everything is connected to the nurse’s station, so I can monitor him from out there. If something happens, I’ll be in instantly.”

“What do you mean, ‘if something happens?’?” Laguna looked down to his son’s face, and placed a hand on his forehead.

“Forget I said anything. I’ll be right outside the door.”

The nurse left, leaving the pair alone with the wounded lion. Jane scooted a small chair close to the bedside and sat, an exhausted breath coming from her lungs.  Laguna stayed standing, gently stroking the top of Squall’s hand. He stared at his pale face, listening to the loud noise the ventilator made next to him. He watched as it forced breaths into the young man’s body. Squall’s head rocked slightly with each pump, his only movement.

Jane rested her head on Squall’s pillow, her fingers spearing through his hair. “How did this happen, Laguna? This morning was so wonderful. I left his apartment in such a good mood, knowing that I would see him in the evening. And now…” She reached her other hand up and wiped a tear from behind her glasses. “…look at us. We’re sitting here hoping that he’ll make it thought the night. How can things go so bad so quickly?”

He looked to the young woman, sensing the fear in her voice. “I wish I knew, Jane. I mean, this morning my wife kissed me goodbye and I didn’t ever stop to think that she wouldn’t be there when I got home. The world is funny…you never know what’s lurking around the next corner of life.”

She sighed, never taking her fingers from Squall’s hair. “So what do we do now?”

Laguna couldn’t take it anymore; his legs were beginning to buckle with exhaustion. He rolled a small stool to the beside and sat.

“We wait, Jane. We wait.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_A/N: Once again, thank you to Rydia Pryde for all your help. I know that you know how grateful I am for all that you have done, but I need to say it anyway. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!_

_And Lucroy and Aoki are Brewers. Gotta represent._

_Detsy…you know who you are. *snickers*_

 


	52. Phoenix:  Chapter Fifty-one

Phoenix: Chapter Fifty-one

                He stood in the minimally furnished viewing room of the police precinct, watching Raine through a two-way mirror. Kiros hated this. She was crying, her head resting in her handcuffed hands. Her whole body shook as she sobbed, tears falling in between her fingers onto the smooth metal table.

“Where’s Squall? Did I hurt him badly?” She wiped her nose on her arm. “Is Laguna with him?”

“Mrs. Loire, I need you to focus. What would possess you to shoot your own son in cold blood?”

Raine looked up at the detective, eyes puffy and red. “I told you, I don’t know! I don’t even remember how I got to the office, you have to believe me!” She looked to the man, her eyes pleading. “Please! Tell me that my son is okay! I need to know!”

The detective’s answer was harsh. “You don’t have the right to know that at the moment. Not until we get to the bottom of this.”

Kiros cringed. He hated seeing Raine treated in such a cruel way, but the fact of the matter was: she _had_ tried to kill her own son.

And she may yet succeed.

He looked down at his phone, willing Laguna to call with an update.

The detective began again. “Now, Mrs. Loire. Let’s start from the beginning… _again_. You claim that you have no recollection of what went on during your morning after ten-fifteen or so. What’s the last thing you _do_ remember _?”_

Raine sighed. “Ward knocked me down. It felt like everything was hazy. I was seeing what was going on in the office…” She paused, her face wincing as tears fell from her eyes. “…I saw Laguna and Kiros helping Squall. But…it was like I couldn’t move my body, even if I had wanted to. As the officers were pulling me away, I finally felt like I was in control again…and I realized what I had done.” She sobbed, her body trembling.

“And you don’t care to share _why_ you shot him, Mrs. Loire? Or why you said, and I quote: ‘Kill Squall Leonhart’ and ‘Payback’? Payback for what, Ma’am?” Kiros was thankful for the security cameras in Laguna’s office. It had allowed them access to a key clue in the investigation. Otherwise, the only two people to hear those words would have been Laguna and Squall. The cameras also saved Laguna from having to be interviewed by the detectives. Kiros knew that having to relive the moments over and over again would start to take a toll on the bewildered President. He didn’t know how much more Laguna could take.

Raine’s eyes flashed with anger. “I told you! I don’t know! I don’t even remember pulling the trigger.”

The detective lit a cigarette, then offered the pack to Raine. She waved him away with cuffed hands. “Alright, so what do you remember about your morning before you arrived in the President’s office?”

Raine’s voice was meek. “I woke up, Laguna and I had breakfast in bed, and he left. I took a bath, read a book and started laundry.” She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. “Lionel, an intern from the Community office brought a package to me. The last thing I remember is opening it.”

The detective took a puff on his cigarette. “What was in the box?”

“I can’t remember clearly. The very last thing I can recall is slicing into the tape with a scissors and opening the top. There was a letter inside, attached to another box. Everything after that is black.”

Kiros was intrigued. He leaned close to the detective in the viewing room with him. “Go to their apartment and find that box and letter. Look for anything else that might be evidence. Bring it to the lab immediately.”

The man nodded and left.

“What did the letter say?”

Raine’s face was frustrated. “I _told_ you, I don’t remember. The next thing I knew, Squall was lying in a pool of blood on Laguna’s floor.” Her voice trembled and it looked as if she were on the verge of a complete breakdown. “Please, I answered your questions. Tell me if my son is alright.”

He couldn’t stand this anymore. She was hurting, and even though he didn’t know what would drive her to such terrible actions, she needed to know about her child. Perhaps it would help her to cooperate more if she at least knew the basics about Squall’s condition. Kiros went to the door and opened it, stepping into the brightly lit interrogation room.

Raine began to stand, but was immediately thwarted by the detective. He looked at her sternly and made a motion with his hand for her to be still. She sat down once again, the metal cuffs clinking against the top of the table. “Kiros! Oh Hyne, is Squall okay?”

He said nothing as he walked towards the table. He motioned for the detective to leave, and the man huffed and snarled his lip, obviously annoyed that Kiros had barged in on his turf. When the officer was gone, Kiros sat at the table across from the frightened woman.

“Kiros?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

He sighed, clasping his hands together on the tabletop. “He’s alive…for the moment.”

Raine hung her head. “How bad is it?”

“You shot him twice in the chest. He’s in a coma right now.”

Raine began to sob, resting her head on the metal table. “My baby…”

Kiros sat and watched as the woman in front of him cried. She was not murderer. There wasn’t a cruel bone in her body.

“Raine?”

She lifted her head, revealing puffy, wet eyes. She looked so confused.

“This is the time to be completely honest with me. I’m here as a friend, not a detective.” He reached out and closed his fingers around Raine’s hand, her fingertips still stained with the ink they had used for fingerprinting. “I need to know that you’re telling the truth. I won’t be able to help you…or the family if you aren’t one-hundred percent truthful.” He exhaled sharply. “Now, where did you get the gun?”

“I don’t know. The last time I touched a weapon was years ago. Ash wanted me to learn in case I needed to defend myself.”  

Kiros cocked his head. “Ash?”

“Yeah. He taught me because he was worried that if anyone ever tried to break in and he was incapacitated, that I would be able to…neutralize the threat.” She cast her eyes down at her hands. Her voice was barely audible. “He told me I was a crack shot.”

Ash’s name coming up in the conversation intrigued Kiros. He needed to go back to his office and dig through the files taken from the dead doctor’s lab. There just had to be something that he overlooked, some kind of clue that could potentially tie him—even if it was posthumously—to this crime. Kiros had really never believed in fate, or the faeries like his best friend, but something was definitely tugging at his brain. With the mention of Ash’s name, it was like a light had gone off in his head.

Raine spoke again, her shoulders slumping. “Kiros, I love my son. I would never do anything to harm him.” She began to weep. “I don’t know what happened. It’s like I lost time somewhere. There’s a huge hole in my memory.”

Kiros exhaled. Nothing in her voice gave him an indication of falsehood. She really didn’t know what had happened. “Okay. I believe you. I’m going to do everything in my power to get to the bottom of this. I’m afraid you’ll have to stay in custody. After all, this is an attempted murder investigation.” He stood, letting go of her hand. “I’ll be back later. I have a lot of digging to do.”

“Kiros? Tell Laguna I love him. And that I’m sorry.”

He nodded silently and turned to leave, Raine sobbing quietly behind him.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“If you’ll all take your seats, I can begin.”

The press pool quickly obeyed the Secretary, scurrying to their chairs and taking up all the standing-room space the small area allowed for.

Samantha Jorden tapped her notecard on the lectern and cleared her throat. “So we’re clear before I start—I will not be taking any questions when I finish. Don’t bother sending any inquires to the office either, they will not be answered.” She took a long, deep breath and gazed out at the sea of reporters. “At approximately ten-forty-five this morning, SeeD Commander Squall Leonhart was shot twice within the office of the President. The suspect—who will remain unnamed pending investigation was immediately disarmed and taken into police custody. Commander Leonhart was rushed to Esthar Memorial Hospital where he is currently listed in critical condition following emergency surgery.”

The reporters immediately erupted with questions, obviously not caring about the Secretary’s previous request.

“Madame Secretary! Who shot him?”

“Where was he hit?”

“Was the President hurt?”

“Will Commander Leonhart survive?”

Samantha held her hand up. “I said no questions. I will hold another conference when new information becomes available. Do not go to the hospital. Any attempt to gain access to the building will be met with disciplinary action. Give President Loire and his family their space.” She turned on her heels and walked purposefully back into the seclusion of her office, where she promptly vomited into her trashcan.

_What a horrible day._

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Kiros Seagill raced back to his office where he immediately began tearing through the files he had brought back from the Odine Complex. He didn’t know exactly what he was looking for, but he worked with passion.

He rooted through the papers for hours, finally coming across the letter written on Laguna’s official letterhead he had found in Ash’s office.  He opened the blinds to let in more light so he could read. His eyes bulged. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

**Doctor William Ash,**

**It has come to my attention that you have been engaging in unethical experiments, including: experimentation on children, the occult and vampirism.**

**Considering the circumstances, I have no other option than to expel you from the Science Ministry and the scientific community at large, as well as the city of Esthar. I hope your banishment will be an example to others who are considering participating in such nefarious endeavors. I cannot have such a horrible blemish mar the pristine reputation of Esthar’s fine scientific community.**

**Attempting to enter the city will result in your immediate arrest. Your further penalty is to live out your days in the desert, knowing your own actions caused this outcome, and you are the only one to blame for this happening.**

**Do not reply to this message, as it will be seen by this office as a threat and you will be prosecuted.**

**President Laguna Loire**

“What the hell _is_ this?” Kiros read the letter over and over again, trying to remember when—and why-- Laguna had sent it. His friend had told him he never knew of Ash, and even though Kiros knew Laguna’s memory to be a bit sketchy at times, surely he would have recalled such a serious event.

He sat silently for a moment, staring out at the city. An idea then hit him so hard; he had to catch his breath.   Odine had banished Ash years before this letter was sent. Why would Laguna need to cast him aside a second time?

“Oh my God…Odine.” Thoughts flew around in his brain so fast he was having trouble processing them. He needed to talk to Laguna. If the president truly didn’t send this letter, Kiros had an idea about who had.

A knock at the door startled him. “Come!”

Ward entered, gloved hands carrying a cardboard box sealed in an evidence bag.

“…”

Kiros jumped up and immediately cleared off the small table in the corner. “Set it down here. Is that it?”

Ward nodded and handed him a pair of gloves. “…”

“Yeah, thanks for dealing with the police. I know they aren’t too keen on outsiders taking over their investigations and evidence. You didn’t hurt any of them, did you?”

The large man winked as he watched Kiros carefully opened the plastic and lifted the container out. “Was there anything else? Where’s the letter?”

Ward produced another clear bag, this one containing a white piece of paper. He also handed Kiros the file containing the hastily done evidence report. Kiros flipped open the folder and quickly skimmed the statement. “No fingerprints other than Raine’s. Figures.”

He handed the folder back to his friend and began investigating the box and letter. “Looks like a kid wrote the address.”

Ward tapped Kiros’ arm lightly and pointed to the box. He then made motions with his hands encouraging Kiros to open it.   Inside was a metallic container. Lifting it out to inspect it closer, he could tell it was a top-of-the-line weapon case. He lifted the lid and was immediately hit with the scent of gun oil. He could just make out the outline of a pistol on the padded interior. “Well, it looks like we know where she got the gun. Something tells me this was not sent by a child. Let me see the letter.” He placed the box on the table.

“…” Ward handed him the next piece of evidence.

Kiros removed the paper from the bag carefully. He unfolded it and nearly fainted.

**[[[WE ARE WAITING FOR THE MANAGER TO GIVE US PASSAGE]]]**

The breath Kiros had been holding finally let out as a surprised gasp. In an instant, everything snapped into place. Kiros let the paper flutter to the tabletop and grabbed Ward by the shoulders.

“I’ve seen this before! In Ash’s notes!” Kiros ran to his desk, casting various files aside until he found what he was looking for. “Here! Right there in the margin. Raine had a dream with this phrase in it. I never paid any attention to it before.” He plopped into his chair, his breathing ragged with excitement.

He sat for a long moment, letting all the information that was suddenly swirling around in his mind try and come together. Ward stared at him.

Kiros began to mutter to himself, trying to help his brain along. “Dream…she had a dream…sleep…sleep?” He sat forward in the chair. “The earpiece! How could I have been so blind?” He dug into his desk, retrieving the small box he had removed from Raine’s nightstand. His mind raced as he tried to tie everything swirling around in it together. The next thought hit him so hard; it was as if Ward had punched him in the chest.

“Ash was an expert in subliminal messaging, man!”

He paced back and forth behind his desk thinking for a moment before charging at the hulking man and practically jumping into his arms. “Ward! I think I might have something. And if I’m right…Oh Hyne…”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

The television was smoking on the floor, his shoe stuck in a gaping hole in the screen.

Ash stood in the small living room, his chest heaving with anger.

_He’s alive? He’s ALIVE!_

“You stupid bitch!” Ash flung the remote across the room, shattering a pitcher of water on the counter. The liquid flowed onto the floor, soaking the dusty floor mat. He seethed with fury, unable to breathe normally.

The only thing she needed to do was kill the bastard. One shot to the head would have done it. His brains would have been splattered all over Laguna’s office, and possibly the President himself. He knew she was capable of hitting the target, he had watched her do it countless times.

“How could you fuck this up?” He screamed, and flying into a fit of rage, he overturned the chair he had been sitting in and lifted it from the floor. He hurled it to his side, where it hit the chipping plaster wall, particles of the flaky substance falling to the floor. He could barely see the hole it had made through his foggy eyes.

“All you had to do was kill him! One shot!” Ash charged at a full-length mirror that was hanging on an open closet door. He smashed his fist into the glass, cracking it. Droplets of blood began to roll down the damaged surface and onto the floor.

He didn’t even feel the pain.

He stood there for a long moment, blood dripping from his hand. His mind raced, trying to figure out what to do next. Everything he had worked for was now lost. If Squall survived, his years of toiling would have been for nothing.

The ache in his hand released him from his thoughts and he entered the bathroom to find a towel to wrap his injury with. Standing over the sink, he carefully picked out the tiny bits of glass he could see shimmering in the light. When he was satisfied they were removed, he bound his hand tightly with a thin towel and sank to his knees.

He sat silently sat for a few minutes, trying to compose himself. Taking some cleansing breaths, he began to feel his body relax and his mind clear.

His eyes snapped open with a new thought. The Press Secretary said he was in critical condition. There might still be a chance that he would die. A sinister smirk crossed his lips as he wrung his hands together, ignoring the sting of the fresh wounds.

_Squall not being killed instantly might actually be better._

If the young man languished for a few days, it would make for more drama—more sadness when he finally expired. Laguna would be devastated. Maybe he might even commit suicide. Ash laughed out loud at the thought. He imagined the President, grief stricken and unable to cope, flinging himself off of the top of the Presidential Palace. He wondered if his body would bounce.

He returned to the living room, scowling at the sight of his smashed television. He grabbed his phone and called X.

He would need another as soon as possible.

He had a death watch to keep.


	53. Phoenix:  Chapter Fifty-two

Phoenix:  Chapter Fifty-two

                Jane stared out of the small window in the ICU.  The shimmering skyscrapers of Esthar had just begun to glow as the sun dipped below the horizon.  A large television billboard adorning a nearby building was plastered with Squall’s image, the news feed ticking below updating the city on his condition.   He looked so full of life in the picture.  Even though he was stern and unsmiling, his eyes sparkled like they always did. 

It was a far cry from the way he looked now.

She turned her attention to Squall, watching as the puffs from the vent shook his chest. His skin was extremely pale, almost gray.  Her eyes moved up and down his torso, committing the horrid sight of his battered body to memory.  On his left side, the collateral damage was all too evident.  Bruising, dried blood, stitches, bandages, tubes and wires. She watched as the medications from the various pumps bedside dripped into his veins, via the horrible looking port jammed into his neck.  The only thing that looked normal was the hand she clung to. 

 And she refused to let go.

At least there was no more spattered blood, Laguna had seen to that.  She had watched as he had lovingly taken a wet cloth and had wiped the dried substance from Squall’s hands and arms, then moving to his cheeks, mindful of the breathing tube.  He had cried silently as he worked, Jane’s heart feeling like it was ripped from her chest. 

A wave of nausea swept over her suddenly, as it had been doing all day since the police had come to her classroom.  She chalked it up to nerves, even though the doubts in her mind continued to mount.  She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply though her nostrils, wiling it pass.  The faint scent of Squall’s cologne, quickly fading in the antiseptic environment of the hospital, tickled her nose.  She leaned in close to his head and sniffed, finding the scent stronger in his hair.  It calmed her if only for a brief moment, before a wailing alarm startled her from her thoughts.  Panic enveloped her.

A nurse ran in, wiggled something on a machine, her hand then moving to Squall’s chest and pressing lightly on one of the sensors.   The klaxon stopped, and the woman smiled softly.  “Just a loose lead.  Sorry if it scared you.”  She patted Squall’s leg gently and looked to Jane.  “He’s doing well, honey.   He just needs to get stronger.”  She excused herself, leaving Jane alone once more.

She stared at Squall, willing him to give her any sort of sign that he was “there.”  Her thumb stroked his hand.  Never in her life would she have imagined someone saying that he needed to get stronger.  He was the toughest person she had ever known. To see him like this, comatose and fighting for his life, nearly killed her.

She just wanted to hear his voice again; the smooth tenor that lulled her every time it entered her ears. 

_“Go and teach my cadets.”_

The last thing he had said to her.  It tumbled over and over in her brain as she tried desperately to commit the sound of it to memory.  Her mind wandered to a place she didn’t want it to enter.  What if she never heard him speak again?  What if he didn’t survive?  She felt her throat close at the idea, her body instinctively shuddering at the thought.  She didn’t want to live without him. 

She _couldn’t_ live without him. 

Her eyes once again wandered to the skyline of Esthar.  Almost no trace of the sunlight remained and the city glowed with an eerie light.  She had been sitting in that room for hours.  Laguna had left to clean up, promising to return with some dinner for them both.  He had tried to encourage her to do the same, but Jane had refused.  She wasn’t going to leave him.

Jane sighed as tears clung to the rims of her glasses, nausea once again rising in her throat.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Laguna couldn’t believe the blood in his hair.  He hadn’t realized how much was actually there until he saw it swirling down the shower drain.  He briefly wondered how it had gotten there, but then remembered Squall’s bloody hand reaching for his face, and his hair sticking to the liquid on his cheeks as he and Kiros desperately tried to save his life. 

He stepped out of the shower, his eyes instantly resting on all of Raine’s beauty products lining the countertop.  After tying a towel around his waist, he picked up a small bottle of her facial lotion.  He tumbled it around in his palm.  Laguna wanted her to come through the door behind him, to tell him not to mess with her make-up. 

His mind wandered to his office, to the soulless look on her face as she pulled a gun on their child.  It hadn’t been the same woman he left that morning.  No trace of the Raine he knew and loved was anywhere within that shell of a woman that had shot Squall. 

He daydreamed as he used another towel to wick the moisture from his dripping hair.  Over and over he ran the day’s events in his mind, his brain trying to make some semblance out of what had happened.  He could see the emptiness in Raine’s expression, the hollow eyes that didn’t track properly.  The way she casually uttered, “payback” as she pumped their son full of bullets.

_Payback._

What the hell did that mean?  What could hurting Squall possibly be payback for?

When his hair was dry enough, he hung the towel on the rack behind him, right next to a lacy bra that Raine had left to drip-dry.  He ran his fingers along the smooth satin, deciding to leave it hanging for the moment.  Raine would have to put it away when she came home.

_When she came home._

Laguna wondered when, and if, that would actually happen.  Every fiber in his being screamed at him that she wasn’t at fault.  That _something_ had snapped in her, something had happened that was beyond her control.  He briefly wondered if she had been hypnotized, but mentally scolded himself for thinking such an absurd thought. 

Raine didn’t have a cruel bone in her body, never had any sinister thoughts or motives.  Nothing had seemed out of place the entire time she had been back, except for the circumstances of her arrival.  To hear that your dead wife had been resurrected and had been kept in the desert for decades was the biggest shock of his life.  His heart had broken for her that day, and for himself, to think that they had lived without each other because of a cruel experiment.  He re-lived that day once more, closing his eyes and seeing her in that interrogation room in his mind. She had looked so scared and unsure.   

When he had opened that door and laid eyes upon her, it was as if the faeries had given him a gift and he had to mentally pinch himself.  When he opened his arms to her embrace, she had hugged him so tight, cried on his bare arm, and professed her unwavering love for him and their family.  Everything had gone so perfectly with her transition into normal life.

Then she tried to kill their son.

He sighed as he traced the paisley pattern on the bra’s cup with his finger.  Twelve hours ago he was kissing her goodbye.  She told him not to be late because she was grilling steaks for dinner.  Now, she was in police custody and he was standing half-naked in their bathroom contemplating how the day could have gone so terribly wrong. 

As he brought his hand back from the delicate undergarment, his thoughts shifted to his son.  The image of Squall comatose in the ICU was almost too much for him.  He sat on the closed toilet seat and allowed his head to droop.  He could still hear the din of the monitors and machines, and could smell the antiseptic odor of the sterile room.  He recalled the way Jane had watched silently, tears pooling at the bottoms of her lenses, as he cleaned the dried blood from Squall’s skin.  It was strange; he had never touched Squall so much at one time before.  It had almost crushed Laguna that it took a critical injury to get that close to his son.  But, he dutifully wiped the caked blood from each of his fingers before moving up the young man’s hands and arms and eventually his face.  Laguna made sure it was all gone.  He hated the way it looked, just another awful reminder of the day’s events.

His skin prickled as the water evaporated and game him a slight chill.  Taking that as a sign he should get dressed, he walked into his bedroom and rooted through his closet for some clothes. 

He needed to get back.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

The ICU was quieter than it had been the first time Laguna had entered.  Most of the visitors had gone home for the night and the nurses were all sitting at the large desk in the middle of the ward.  Everything seemed to be calm.

For the moment.

Jane and Laguna had been given special permission to come and go as they pleased, a privilege not usually extended to visitors.  Whether it was his Presidential status, or because the nurses felt doubly sorry for the both of them, he hadn’t a clue.  But he was grateful for their generosity. 

After washing his hands at the door, he entered the small room, finding Jane dozing in a chair next to Squall.  Her hand was clasped tightly around his limp fingers.  A plastic bag in Laguna’s hand rustled, causing her eyes to open and scan around the dimly lit room.

“Hey.  Didn’t mean to startle you.”  Laguna mustered a small apologetic smile and lifted the sack.  “I brought you a turkey sandwich.  The nurse says you can’t eat it in here, though.”

“Thanks.  I’m not hungry right now, though.  Maybe later.”  Her eyes left Laguna and rested again on Squall.  She sighed. “Nothing’s changed.”

Laguna set the bag down on the side counter and approached the bed.  He stroked Squall’s foot lightly through the blankets before sitting across from Jane.  “Well, at least that means nothing bad has happened, right?”  His eyes were hopeful.

“Yeah, I guess.”  Jane released her grip on Squall’s hand and stretched her arms behind her back, eliciting a pop from her shoulders.  “What time is it?”

Laguna ran his thumb back and forth across his son’s forearm.  “About eight-thirty.  You should go home and get some rest.  I’ll stay with him.”

Jane scowled and swallowed hard.  “I don’t want to leave him, Laguna.”  Her eyes looked exhausted, and her face was drawn.

“You need to take care of yourself, honey.  Go eat something and try and get some sleep.  You can’t be a good cheerleader if your body gives out.”  He looked back to Squall. “I promise I won’t leave until you get back.  Besides, Elle will be arriving soon.  I…”  He hesitated, knowing that when the young woman arrived it would be traumatic for everyone involved.  “..I don’t think you want to be around for that.  It’s gonna be bad.”

Jane sighed.  “Promise me you’ll call if anything changes.” 

“I give you my word.  You’ll be the first to know.  Now promise me you’ll go to bed and sleep.  Come back in the morning.”  He smiled softly.

She leaned forward and touched her forehead to Squall’s.  Her eyes closed and she exhaled deeply as she whispered.  “I’m going to go for a while, Squall.  But I promise I’ll be back.”  Tears began to seep from her closed eyelids.  “I love you, Leonhart.”  She moved her face in order to kiss his forehead.

She rounded the bed and Laguna rose to embrace her.  He felt her whole body melt into his own as she sighed.  “You _promise_ you’ll call?”

Laguna squeezed her tightly.  “Of course.  I’m guessing you’ll be at his place?”  He felt her nod into his chest.  “I’ll get my driver to take you home.”

She ended their hug and wiped her eyes on her sleeve.  She raised her eyes to meet his.  “Thank you, Laguna.  I’ll be back at the crack of dawn.”

“Take all the time you need.  It’s not like he’s going anywhere.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Laguna spent the next few hours staring out the window, dozing every once and a while and being scared shitless every time a nurse or doctor entered the small room.  Even though their presence was for nothing more than replacing medication drips, changing bandages and checking vitals, it still unnerved him every time they came.  They had assured him that it was all routine monitoring.  He was grateful that they seemed to care as much about his own well-being as they did about Squall’s.  They even let him ask as many questions as he liked, no matter how stupid Laguna thought they sounded.

He had watched as a nurse came and replaced the gauze bandage covering the surgical site on Squall’s abdomen.  His stomach had turned as she removed the blood-stained fabric, exposing a neat line of staples holding the oozing skin together.  She carefully cleansed the area with a sterile solution and covered it with a new gleaming white bandage.

_“Why is his skin stapled?”_

_“It’s a big wound, Mister President.  Staples hold it together better than sutures.”_

A doctor had come to do a neurological check, removing the tape from Squall’s eyelids.  The nurse was right about them not closing all the way.  As soon as the adhesive had been removed, they cracked open slightly, allowing Laguna to see the gauze resting underneath.  After removing the wet fabric, the doctor had pried each one of Squall’s eyes open and shined a penlight back and forth.  Laguna was happy to see the blue eyes of his son, even if they were empty.   When he finished, he replaced the moistened gauze once again taped the young man’s eyes closed.

_“What are you checking for?”_

_“I’m seeing if his pupils are reacting to the light, and they are.  That’s a good sign.”_

Keeping his hand enclosed tightly around Squall’s, his attention drifted back to the Esthar skyline gleaming in the clear night air.  Movement in the sky caught his eye and as an object skimmed the horizon and came closer.  He could make out the familiar silhouette of the Ragnarok as it moved in and out behind buildings. 

Elle would be here soon.

He turned back to Squall.  “Your sister’s gonna be here in a little while.  So, you’d better be on your best behavior.  No alarms, got it?”  He wished the young man would squeeze his hand back, as a sign that he had heard.  Instead, he just laid silent and unmoving. 

A nurse came in again, patting Laguna on the shoulder as she moved behind him to check the monitors.  He noticed that she frowned at one of the readouts.

“Something wrong?”  He tried to keep the panic in his voice from rising.

“Not really.  His blood pressure still seems to be fluctuating.  The doctor will probably want to change the dosage of some medications, that’s all.  I’ll be back in a minute.”  She smiled sweetly.  “Don’t worry, Mister President.”

_‘Don’t worry’.  That’s easy for you to say.  Your kid’s not in a coma with a breathing tube shoved down his throat._

He watched as she left, tears beginning to sting his eyes.  He knew he had to compose himself.  Ellone would be arriving soon, and she would need him to be strong.  He took a cleansing breath and closed his eyes. 

_Be cool, Loire.  For Elle’s sake and yours._

Laguna sat back in his chair, trying to settle his rear into the extremely uncomfortable seat.  He shifted his hips and scowled, wishing he had that plush chair from the waiting room.  At least that thing was somewhat comfortable.  His current seat felt as if it had been crafted by blind Tonberries. 

Unable to find a reasonably comfortable position, he sighed and stood, stretching his neck upwards to work out the kinks.  He stared at the ceiling for a moment as he rolled his head back and forth.  Lowering his head, his eyes rested on Squall once more. 

The color of his skin bothered Laguna.  It was pale, the only color variations being the bruises on his ribcage.  The extra blood that slowly coursed into his veins didn’t seem to be making a difference.  Laguna sighed and moved towards the window, unable to look at the figure in the bed any more.  It was breaking his heart.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he stared out at the bustling city, as it seemed to never sleep.  Even though it was past midnight, people jammed the streets and traffic was moving at a swift pace on the outer roads encircling the metropolis.  He stood for what seemed like hours, watching the ebb and flow of motion beneath the window. 

For a split second, he hated those people down there.  They all seemed happy, carefree.  No worries, no child laying unresponsive just feet away.  Laguna wanted everything back to normal. 

He tapped his hand on the windowsill, his ring clicking against the metal.  He sighed as he lifted and turned his hand to let the band catch the light of the room.  Laguna stared at it for a long moment before closing his fingers tightly into a fist.  Anger welled up inside of him.

Anger at Raine.

He was furious with her for doing what she had done.  With two squeezes of a trigger, she had potentially shattered their family.  He wanted to scream at her, beg her for answers as to why she shot Squall.  He envisioned himself taking her by the shoulders and shaking, pleading for her to shed light on the whole situation.

Laguna mentally chastised himself for thinking such terrible thoughts about his wife.  Yes, she had shot their child.  But there had to have been a reason why.  She couldn’t have just snapped.  Where did she get the weapon?  And what was the meaning behind what she had said as she fired the pistol?

He remembered the monotone melody of her voice.  No feeling, no emotion. 

Lifeless. 

What would she need payback for, and why would it involve Squall?  Laguna’s head was beginning to spin with all the emotions running rampant within his exhausted brain.

Nothing made any sense to him.  He couldn’t understand what would make a mother want to hurt her own child.  He thought back to the morning, how Raine had looked so empty and distant.  What could have happened in those few hours in between him leaving and her arriving with the gun?

Laguna realized that there was no way she could have been aware of what she was doing.  He exhaled deeply as he once again took his vigil spot next to Squall.  He told himself that Kiros would have something for him soon.  He just had to. 

Then maybe he could find the strength to see Raine.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Ellone ran through the hospital, Ryan desperately trying to keep up with her.  She felt as if her feet were adorned with rockets and she had no control over herself.  She sprinted down the long hallway to the ICU, willing herself to wake up from what had to be a terrible nightmare. 

She got to the door and scowled when it wouldn’t open.  She pulled on the giant doors to no avail.  She was just about to pound on them when Ryan caught up and grabbed her gently by the shoulders, pulling her back.

“Sweets, the door won’t open for you.  You need to ring the call button, see?”  He pointed to a small white sign with blaring red wording as he pressed the crimson switch beside it. 

“Yes?”

Ellone fought to keep the panic in her voice from yelling into the intercom.  “My name is Ellone.  My brother…”  Before she could even finish speaking, the door automatically began to open, she and Ryan stepping back to avoid being knocked over by the swinging panels. 

She rushed into the ICU, immediately hit by the noise of machines and alarms.  She approached the desk where a nurse stood and came around the side.  “If you’ll follow me, Miss.”  She extended her hand for the two to follow.

Ellone couldn’t help but look into the small rooms that had opened curtains as she walked past.  The patients in them all looked terrible.  She willed herself to stay calm as the nurse stopped at a glass door partially open and obscured by a drape.

“Please wash your hands before going in.  Your Uncle is waiting.”  The nurse laid a comforting hand on Ellone’s back and patted as she walked back to the nurse’s station.

After drying their hands, Ryan grasped her bicep gently and guided her into the room, pushing the sliding glass door open to allow them both to pass.

Ellone’s eyes adjusted slowly to the dim light of the room, her eyes falling on the motionless figure in the bed.  She gasped and immediately began to weep.  Laguna stood and immediately rushed to her side, holding her in the tightest embrace since she was a small child. 

“Oh, Uncle Laguna!  I prayed that this was some horrible mistake.  But it isn’t, is it?”  She sobbed into his chest, unwilling to turn and look at her brother.  Something in her brain was still trying to tell her that this wasn’t real.

“I’m afraid this is all too real, Elle.”

Never releasing her grip on Laguna, she slowly turned both their bodies so she could gingerly look at Squall. 

The sight terrified her.

Her brother lay silent and unmoving on the bed, tubes and wires attached to what seemed like every available piece of exposed skin.  The breathing tube in his throat screamed at her and she watched in horror as the machine attached to it forced artificial breaths into his lungs.  Her knees suddenly began to give out, and Laguna quickly tightened his embrace on her to keep her from collapsing to the floor.  He guided her to the seat on the right side of Squall and eased her down. 

Ellone put her face in her hands and attempted to calm her breathing.  She was bordering on hyperventilation.    “Is he…going to…be okay?”

Laguna knelt in front of his niece, cupping her chin in his hand and guiding her head to look at him.  “The doctors say he’s stable right now, and that he just needs to get stronger.  But, it’s gonna be a long haul.  They’ve got him in a coma on purpose right now help him heal.”  He let go of her chin and placed his hands on both of her cheeks.  “We’ve all got to be strong for him Elle, if we want him to come back to us, alright?”

Ellone closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before nodding.  “Okay.”  She exhaled a long breath and opened her eyes again, looking to Squall.  “Can I hold his hand?”

Laguna rose. “Of course.  Just watch out for all the wires and stuff.”

Ellone gingerly extended a shaking hand and lightly touched Squall’s fingers.  She then enclosed her own around his hand and squeezed.  “Tell me what happened, please.  Kiros was very vague.”  She looked up to Laguna with wet eyes.  “Was it really Raine?”

Laguna let his head droop.  “Yes.”

Ellone sighed, unable to process why she would do such a thing.  She told herself to stay calm and listen to what Laguna had to say.  There just had to be an explanation.

“She came into the office, and it was like she was hollow.  It wasn’t her, Elle; she wasn’t like that when I left this morning.  She muttered something about ‘payback’ and shot him with a gun she had hidden in her waistband.”  He gently rubbed Squall’s calf through the thin blanket.  “The police were there in a heartbeat, and hauled her away while Kiros and I did CPR until the paramedics came.”

Ellone’s body began to shake.  “I can’t believe that she would do something so heinous.  Is she talking to the police?  I mean, something had to have happened to make her snap.”

Laguna once again knelt in front of her, laying a comforting hand on her thigh.  “Kiros is working with the police.  He’s going to figure this out, Elle.  He’s gonna exonerate her somehow, I just know it.  We all know that Raine would never in her right mind do anything to harm Squall, or any of us.”  He looked to the still figure in the bed.  “If anyone can figure this out, it’s him.”

Ellone nodded slowly, then looked towards her silent brother.  She hated this.  He looked so helpless and vulnerable.  She wanted to hear his voice, telling her, “Don’t worry, Sis.  I’m strong.”  She squeezed his limp hand, his fingertips cold. 

“Have you seen her since this morning?”

Laguna shook his head.  “No.  I knew if I went before Kiros had something for me, I might…”  He paused, a guilty look crossing his face.  “…I might lash out at her.  My emotions are haywire right now, and I don’t want to say anything rash.  I need to wait, for both our sakes.”

Ellone could hear the pain in Laguna’s voice.  It broke her heart to see him like this.  She knew how madly in love with Raine he was—he had always been, and it must have been killing him inside to be furious with her.

Laguna rose once again, bending momentarily to kiss her on the cheek.  “Look, I gotta use the little boy’s room.  I’ll leave you alone for a while so you can have some private time with him.”  He placed his hand over hers, covering both Ellone’s and Squall’s.  “I’ll be back in a little while, okay?”

She just nodded, exhaustion settling in.  Laguna left, pausing to shake Ryan’s hand on the way out.  The young man approached his fiancée, a weak, supportive smile on his face.  “Do you want me to give you a minute with him?”

Ellone raised her eyes to meet his, tears streaming down her cheeks in the process.  “Maybe for a few moments.  Is that alright?”

Ryan smiled.  “Of course.  I’ll be right outside the door.”  He tilted her head up and kissed her softly.  “You remember this, sweets:  He’s the toughest person I have ever met.  If anyone can bounce back from something like this, it’s your brother.”

He left, leaving Ellone alone with Squall.  She sat quietly for a long moment, watching the flashing lights on the various monitors.  She couldn’t help but be strangely mesmerized by the ventilator supplying breaths to Squall.  She watched as it forced air into his lungs, his chest rising abruptly before falling in a somewhat normal exhale.  She hoped he didn’t feel it.

“Squall?  I’m here now.”  She curled her fingers around his.  “I wish I could make this all go away.” 

She could feel the tears beginning again, and her chest began to shake with sobs.  “I’m so scared, Squall.  You look terrible.”  She leaned over to kiss his forehead.  “You have to stay with us.  Raine didn’t do this of her own free will.  You have to stick around to see that.  Kiros will find something, I just know it.”

She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes, willing the budding headache behind them to go away.  After a moment, she began humming a familiar tune.  She didn’t know why exactly, but it calmed her nonetheless.  A small smile graced her lips as she began to sing quietly.  She hoped somewhere; somehow her baby brother could hear her.  She hadn’t sung this lullaby to him since they were at the orphanage together, but she felt as if it would soothe them both on this horrible day.

_Whenever you feel all alone…always remember I love you…_

_Whenever you feel sad and blue…always remember I love you…_

_I may not always be there…but we can never be truly apart…_

_Whenever you miss me…always remember, I…love…you._

Ellone couldn’t control her emotions any longer, and she broke down.  Tears streamed out of her eyes and onto her jeans, and she held Squall’s hand tightly with no intention of letting go any time soon.

 


	54. Phoenix:  Chapter Fifty-three

Phoenix:   Chapter Fifty-three

                Ellone had left sometime after three in the morning, exhausted and emotionally drained.  Unable to sleep, Laguna spent the remaining hours of darkness pacing the small room and staring out the window.  He watched as the faint glow of the rising sun behind the hospital building began to glint off of the high rises surrounding him. 

The city looked so peaceful in the dawn light. 

He turned around to lay eyes on his son.  Nothing had changed during the night, the nurses kept coming in every hour or so to check vitals and change bandages.  They were still a bit concerned about his blood pressure, but didn’t seem overly jumpy about it.  Laguna took that as a win. 

Sitting down, he took Squall’s hand in his own.  It felt warmer than usual.  “Good morning, Squall.  It’s a new day.  Let’s make it a good one.”  He blew out a long breath and stared at his son’s pale face.  “Today’s the day you wake up. I can feel it.”  The young man offered no response, not that Laguna had expected him to. 

He looked at his watch.  It was almost seven.  He figured Jane would be arriving any moment.  In the stillness of the room, Laguna began to bop his body back and forth in his chair, almost as if he were dancing.  The beeping beat of the monitors, the hum of the IV pumps; it was like they were making their own music.  He released Squall’s hand and went to the window to observe the waking city.  He continued to move his body to the rhythm of the machines, completely unaware that someone had entered the room.

“What the hell are you doing, Laguna?”

He spun around to find Jane eyeing him quizzically.  He smiled sheepishly and scratched his neck.  “I, uhhh…I was dancing.” 

“Dancing?”  Jane looked around the room, eyebrows arched.  “There’s no music.”

“Sure there is!  You just have to listen for it.”  He motioned for her to come over to him.  She edged him out of the way and leaned in to greet her fiancé. 

“Mornin’ Squall. I’m back now.”  She kissed his forehead lightly.  “He’s warm this morning.”  She lifted her head to look at the slightly embarrassed President.  “So, you claim that you hear music.  Do you need a little trip to the psych ward?”

Laguna shook his head.  “Listen.  The heart monitor supplies the beat.  And the IV pumps make their own individual little melodies.”   He snapped his fingers to the sound of the machinery.

Jane just stared at him blankly for a moment.  “I think you might be going crazy, Laguna.  You…”  She stopped herself, her own body beginning to move with the sounds.  “Hey, you know what?  You’re kinda right.  It is like music.”

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they “danced” together for a long moment, staring at the young man.  Jane finally spoke.  “You realize we’ve both gone insane, right?”

Laguna chuckled lightly, the first time any hint of laughter had escaped his lips in well over a day.  “Well, if I’m going crazy, at least I have good company.”  He turned to look at her and smiled.  “Did you get any sleep last night?”

Jane shook her head and took a seat next to Squall.   She ran her fingers through his hair.  “Not really.  Everything reminded me of him.  I tried to sleep in his bed, but all I could smell was his cologne on the sheets.  I thought it would comfort me, but in the end it just made things worse.  I ended up on the couch.”

Laguna placed a comforting hand on her back.  “He’s gonna wake up soon, and be home before we both know it.  Then you can sleep at ease again.”  He patted her shoulder.  “You’ll see.”

Jane sighed.  “I’m just so stressed out.  I can’t shake the feeling that he’s not coming back to us, and I curse myself for thinking such horrible thoughts.”  She hung her head.  “I feel helpless.”

Laguna sunk down to be at her eye level.  He placed his hand on her knee.  “Hey, I’m scared outta my mind right now too.  But he’s going to need us to be strong.  We can’t be afraid anymore.”  He turned to look at his son, and could feel his cheeks flush.  “I’d like to believe that he knows we’re here.  And he can sense if we’re frightened.”

The young woman nodded.  “I know you’re right.”  She sighed and leaned back in the chair, never removing her fingers from Squall’s locks. 

Laguna stood and stretched his arms behind his back.  “You gonna be okay if I leave to take a quick nap?  I’d only be gone a few hours.”

“Yeah.  Leonhart and I will hang out.”  She mustered a small smile. 

“Great.  I’ll be back in…”

The monitors of the room began to blare, lights flashing.  A nurse was inside in a heartbeat and immediately ran to the machines.  Laguna began to panic. 

_So much for being strong._

“What’s happening?”  Laguna fought to keep his emotions in check.  He could tell Jane was just as scared as he was.  She was trembling.

“His blood pressure has dropped pretty significantly and his heart rate is elevated.”  She placed the back of her hand on Squall’s suddenly sweat drenched upper chest.  “He’s very hot, too.”  She grabbed a thermometer that had been stored bedside and stuck it in the young man’s ear.  When it beeped, she scowled.  “One hundred and four.”  She pressed a blue button on the wall, summoning more nurses.  “I need a rapid response team in here stat.  I think he’s in septic shock.”

Laguna felt as if he were going to vomit.  Here he thought things were going well because Squall hadn’t had any crises.  And now, the nurses were buzzing around again, trying to help his son. 

Laguna was terrified.

“Septic shock?  What?”  He felt Jane’s hand tighten around his own as they both moved to the foot of the bed, out of the way.

“Sepsis, Mister President.  It means an infection is shutting his body down.  It’s possibly in the IV line or from the surgery.  We’ll have to do blood work to know for sure.”  She retrieved a small tote from the side counter and wrapped a tourniquet around Squall’s right arm, scrubbing the skin thoroughly with antiseptic.  She flicked the vein to get it to swell a bit before inserting a needle.  She removed two vials full from one site and then proceeded to do the same on the other arm, inserting a new needle and filling two more test tubes worth.  After removing the needle, she taped a small square of gauze on each of the dripping puncture wounds. 

Jane stepped forward slightly.  “Why are you taking so much blood from different places?”

 “We want to make sure we don’t get any false positives.”  She dropped the vials into a small basket on the counter, while another nurse attached a bag of clear fluid to the IV pump, running it in at full tilt, along with various other medications Laguna didn't have a name for.  She pressed buttons, changing the readouts on the monitors. 

“What are you doing now?”  Laguna tightened his grasp on Jane’s tiny hand.  He could feel it shaking.

“I’m increasing the blood pressure medicine he’s on.  We need to get his pressure back to normal.  It’s the infection talking.  Plus I need to run some more fluids in rather fast so Nurse Beltran can draw blood from the central line port.”

Everything seemed to be moving very fast.  He watched as the nurse he now knew as Beltran attached another glass tube to the port in Squall’s neck.  The scarlet liquid flowed in quickly, and she swiftly replaced the full vial with another one to collect more. 

A doctor that Laguna did not recognize flew into the room, barely acknowledging the pair.  “Stats?”

The nurses both rattled off all kinds of numbers and statistics that Laguna didn’t understand. 

The doctor scowled.  “Alright, definitely sounds like sepsis.  Send those cultures to the lab and start him on Vancomycin and Zosyn.  My money’s on a line infection, probably that quick one from the ER, but since they were digging around in his stomach... add some Flagyl just to make sure. 500mg Q8.  Did you give him a fever reducer?”

“Acetaminophen is already on board, doctor.  I’ll run in the antibiotics right away.”

He cupped his chin in his hand.  “Increase the Levophed for his pressure and let’s wait twenty-four hours for the antibiotics to work.”  He moved to the left side of the bed and studied the monitors.  “Let’s call for a portable chest x-ray to rule out pneumonia.”

He left his position at the bedside and approached Laguna and Jane.  “Mister President, Miss.  I’m doctor Randon.  I’m the on-call physician today.  Let’s go outside so the nurses can work and we can have a chat.  Radiology will be coming up soon with a portable x-ray and they’ll need the space.”  He motioned for them to exit. 

Laguna felt Jane’s hand slip from his own and she quickly made her way to Squall’s bedside.  She leaned in close to his ear, Laguna barely able to make out what she was saying over the noise of the suddenly bustling room.

_“…be outside, Squall…don’t let an infection…better of you…love you…”_

Swiftly, she rejoined Laguna and the doctor and they moved out of the room.  He led them into a small room next to the nurse’s station.  He closed the door and sat across from the duo.  “Well, quite a morning, huh?”  He smiled gingerly.  Laguna just stared at him.  He wasn’t in the mood for light banter.

“I suppose you’re pretty worried right now with all of this.  I’ll be honest, alright?  Your son is showing signs of septic shock.  More than likely he developed an infection from the central line they put in downstairs in the ER.  Most of the infections I see come from that sort of scenario.  There is a possibility that it’s stemming from the surgery though, and that’s why I’ve ordered some pretty potent drugs.”

Jane sighed and slumped her shoulders.  “Sepsis is really bad, isn’t it?”

“It can be.  Hopefully we’ve caught the infection early enough.  He’s lucky he’s not allergic to any of our arsenal of antibiotics.  We can run in several at a time because of that, and that will help tremendously.  We’ll wait for the blood cultures to come back to see exactly what kind of bug we’re dealing with, and they we can adjust the meds accordingly if need be.”

Laguna clasped his hands and hung them between his legs.  “What’s with the x-ray?  You said something about pneumonia?”

“Just a precaution, Mister President.  Pneumonia can surface in patients in your son’s situation, although I’m fairly sure that’s not the cause of the infection.  I just want to rule it out.”  His pager beeped, causing him to hold a finger in the air asking for a moment.  He replaced the device to his waistband and turned his attention back to the concerned pair.

“We’ll give him a day for the meds to attack the infection and then take more blood cultures.  I’m confident that whatever is pestering him will be no match for the antibiotics.”  He smiled sincerely.  “If you’ll excuse me, I need to answer this page.  Just stay here and one of the nurses will come get you when x-ray leaves.”

He stood, Jane and Laguna following suit, and shook both their hands.  As he left, he stopped and turned.  “This is just a little setback, Mister President.  I can tell your son isn’t one to give up so easily.”

Laguna watched as he left, closing the door behind him.  He just caught a glimpse of an x-ray machine being wheeled towards Squall’s room.  Not wanting to sit again, he leaned against the wall.  “Everyone keeps saying he’s a fighter.  Let’s hope he doesn’t prove us wrong.”

Jane closed her eyes and leaned back on the sofa.  “I don’t know if I can take any more drama, Laguna.  This infection seems really serious.  What if this is what…does him in?”  She shook her head, a tear dripping down onto her lips.

He dashed to her side and sat, instantly throwing a comforting arm around her back.  He wasn’t used to seeing her unglued.  The once tough and spunky young woman was reduced to a weeping mess.  He just wanted the old Jane back.

And Squall back.

“Hey, the doctor thinks they caught it in time.  He’s gonna respond to the drugs, you’ll see.  A little bug won’t keep him down.”  He noticed that Jane looked pallid.  “You feelin’ okay, sweetheart?  You look a little pale.”

“I’m just really tired, that’s all.  And my stomach’s been kinda touchy since this all happened.  Nerves, I guess.”

Laguna was concerned.  He wanted to make sure she was taking care of herself.  “Have you been eating enough?  Do you want me to go grab you something?” 

She shook her head.  “I tried to eat a muffin this morning, but after a few bites it felt like it was going to come back up so I stopped.”  She put her head in her hands.  “I just feel so fatigued.  And I hate it.”  Laguna tightened his arm around her shoulders as she continued.  “Everyone thinks I’m so strong, that I’m tough.  Truth is, I’ve never been so scared in my life.  I’m trying to keep it together, but I’m afraid that I won’t be able too much longer.”  She looked towards the door leading back into the ward.  “Every hour that goes by that he doesn’t wake up, and now this whole infection thing…”  She turned back to Laguna, eyes teary.  She snuggled close to his body.  “…it just terrifies me more and more.  I can’t live without him, Laguna.”

Hearing the pain and fear in her voice tugged at Laguna’s heartstrings.  “You aren’t going to have to live without him.”  He patted her shoulder.  “You don’t have to keep anything in.  Scream and cry, let it out.   If you keep all those feelings bottled up inside, they’ll eat you alive.  Like grats.”

Jane chuckled slightly into his side.  “Grats?  I could kill a grat with a flyswatter.”

Laguna smiled.  “Okay, bad example.  But you get what I mean.”

 “Yeah.  Maybe a good cry would do me good.  I’m just so tired I don’t even know if I can do that anymore.”

Laguna sighed.  He knew that Jane needed to get more rest, and that she wasn’t going to be able to do it here.  And, if he didn’t get some sleep soon, he would collapse.  Even though he didn’t want to leave Squall alone, he conceded and decided to take Jane home himself.  They both needed to take better care of themselves. 

“Come on, honey.  There’s nothing we can do right now for him.  Let’s allow the nurses and doctors to work and we can go home and rest.”  He rose and extended his hand to her.  “After we both get a nap and some food, we’ll come back.”

“I don’t want to leave him alone, Laguna.  I don’t want him to be scared if he wakes up and there’s no one here.”  Her eyes glistened with tears.

He beckoned her with his fingers.  “I think it’s the best thing for all of us, Jane.  We’re both gonna fall over if we don’t get some proper rest.  And, as much as I hoped he would wake up today, I don’t think that’s going to happen.”  His eyes dropped to the ground.  “The nurses will take care of him, and they’ll call the minute anything changes.”

Her shoulders sunk.  “You’re right.  Can we at least go and say goodbye first?  I want him to know that we’re coming back.”

Laguna mustered a small smile.  “You got it, kiddo.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Relieved that he was finally able to get some sleep, Laguna arrived back at the hospital around three in the afternoon.  He had finally convinced Jane to do the same, and before he left the residences, he had checked in on her.  Using the spare keycard Squall had reluctantly given him—and sternly suggested that he never use—he had found Jane sprawled on the couch, fast asleep.  He had gently draped a light blanket over her and left her a note saying there was some soup from the central kitchen waiting for her in the fridge.  He hoped she would actually eat it.

He washed his hands at the door and slid the heavy glass panel open.  Squall hadn’t moved, not that Laguna had expected him to.  He noticed that his son’s color was beginning to return, in the form of flushed cheeks.  He figured it was from the fever.  He approached the beside and sat in the uncomfortable but increasingly familiar chair.  He quickly decided that once this was all over and Squall was home, he would liberate the chair and dispose of it in a raging bonfire.

Taking Squall’s hand in his own, he instantly noticed that it was no longer as hot as a raging inferno.  He reached out and placed the back of his hand on the young man’s chest, as the nurse had done, and was relieved when the skin was dry and much cooler than it had been that morning.  It seemed like the fever was beginning to come under control.  Laguna sighed with cautious relief and sat back in the chair. 

He sat quietly for a few hours, watching as the nurses flowed in and out, checking monitors and medications.  It didn’t faze Laguna anymore.  He just smiled at them and let them work, hardly asking any questions.  He had brought a book with him to pass the time.  His phone ringing snapped him from his adventure novel about a dragon and its master. 

It was Jane.

“Hey there, sleepyhead.  How ya feelin’?”

_“Better, thank you.  Thanks for the soup, by the way.  How is he?”_

“Still here.  The nurses said the fever went down.  The seemed pleased.”

_“That’s a relief.  I need to call my mom and update her and take a quick shower and then I’ll be back.”_

“Take your time, sweetie.  I promise I won’t leave until you get here.”

_“Thank you, Laguna.  See you soon.”_

The call ended and Laguna replaced his phone in his pants pocket.  He turned to Squall, the vent still shaking his chest.  “Jane will be here soon.  Wouldn’t it be great if you just suddenly woke up for her?”  Laguna sighed.  He knew that really wasn’t a possibility, but a president could dream.

He turned his attention back to his book and read for just a few moments when the sliding glass door make him look up.  He was surprised that it wasn’t a nurse.

It was Kiros and Ward.

The two men had not been to the hospital to visit.  Kiros immediately brought his hand to his mouth to stifle a gasp, while Ward just dropped his head.  Laguna stood and approached them, Kiros pulling him into a tight embrace.

Finally letting go, Kiros wiped his eyes with his thumbs.  “Hyne, Laguna.  He looks terrible.”

Laguna nodded.  “He actually looks a bit better than he did yesterday, if you can believe it.  He’s got some of his color back today.  It might be from the fever, though.”

“…”

“Yeah, fever.  He went into septic shock.  The doctors think it was from the IV lines in the ER.  They gave him tons of antibiotics and they seem to be working.”

Ward approached the right side of the bed and laid his entire hand on the top of Squall’s head.  It covered all of the young man’s hair and forehead.  Laguna saw a tear slip from the large man’s eye.  He moved in close to Ward and placed a hand on his forearm.  “I know you’re scared, buddy.  I am too.  But we have to be strong for him, alright?”

The hulking man turned to face his friend with a mournful expression.  He nodded slowly and turned his attention back to the fallen warrior. 

Kiros had taken his place at the opposite side, eyeing up the machines and monitors.  Laguna moved to his son’s feet, patting them through the sheets.  “All that stuff is monitoring his blood pressure and heart, plus tons of other junk that I don’t understand.”  He scratched his neck.  “Hopefully he’ll be off the vent soon.”

Kiros just sighed, taking the young commander’s hand in his own.  “I’m so sorry, Laguna.  I don’t even know what else to say.”

“…”

“It’s alright, Ward.  You don’t have to stay.  I know this is really hard to see.”  Laguna soothed his friend.

Ward removed his hand from Squall’s head and patted his hand before backing away from the bed.  He briefly stood next to the president before pulling him into a humongous embrace.  After he let go, he waved goodbye and took his leave.

Kiros exhaled deeply.  “For a big guy, he certainly is a softie.  He’s really taking this hard, Laguna.  We all are.”

“Yeah, I know.  Kiros?”  He wrung his hands.  “How’s Raine?”

Kiros pursed his lips.  “Terrified.  Actually, that’s what I came to talk to you about.  I may have figured this whole shit storm out, man.  And if I’m right, we might be able to spring her from police custody.”

Laguna was shocked.  She had just tried to murder their son and Kiros was talking about getting her released from jail.  He didn’t want to be overly optimistic until he heard what his friend had to say.  Laguna motioned for the man to sit with him next the window.  He pulled the chair from the right side of the bed around and sat.

“Already?  That’s quick, man. I mean, Squall’s only been…”  He stopped himself, then sat on the edge of his seat.  “Well, let’s hear it.”

Kiros reached into his messenger bag and pulled out a stack of papers and files.  He handed Laguna a piece of gleaming white paper.  “Look at this.”

Laguna studied the paper.  It was his official letterhead. 

“Recognize it?”

Laguna shook his head.  “No. I’ve never seen this before in my life.  Wait—I didn’t send this…or sign it.  Where’d this come from?”  He was confused.  “I think I would have remembered authorizing such a scathing letter.  I didn’t even know who Ash was until Raine came back.  Who sent this?  Why?”  He handed the letter back to Kiros.

“It came from Ash’s office.  I found it when I was digging around after the police concluded their investigation.”  He paused.  “As for who sent it, I think it was Odine.”

“Odine?  What the hell would he send a fake letter for?”

“I’ll get to that.”  He pursed his lips. “Laguna, I have a theory about what is going on.  Ash must have exploded after he received this.”  He held up the letter.

Laguna sat back in his chair, his eyes momentarily resting on his son.  “Lay it on me, Kiros.”  He hoped it was good news.  Laguna desperately wanted to see Raine, to make sure she was okay.  His anger was still fresh and very much alive, but his temper had abated somewhat to the point where he felt he would be able to confront her without lashing out.  If Kiros had evidence to help her, it would make their first meeting that much easier.

“I think that Odine sent this more than likely to rid himself of the threat of Ash returning or ratting him out once and for all.  I’m guessing that he figured this would piss him off enough to effectively focus his anger elsewhere—namely on you.”

Laguna looked pensive.  “But what does Raine have to do with this, Kiros?  And Squall?  Why hurt him?”

Kiros looked out at the city for a moment.  “I wracked my brain trying to figure that out.  I didn’t leave my office once since I got back from the interrogation.  When I was first reading Ash’s notes and files, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.  He was just a doctor trying to help his patient.  Everything he wrote in the sidelines was caring and sympathetic.  He truly wanted to help her.”  He tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair.  “But as I dug deeper, the notes started to take a dark turn.  Ash became bitter, vindictive and downright dangerous.  There was even rambling notes about ‘getting you.’  I didn’t know what it meant at the time, but I could tell that something had happened for him to change so dramatically.  The timing of the letter coincided with the change.  But I knew there had to be something else.  This letter couldn’t have been the only thing that set him off.”

“Maybe he was on drugs.  I know I’d have to do _something_ to keep myself sane out there all those years.  At least that would be semi-entertaining.  Then he took it too far and got all nutty?”

Kiros rolled his eyes.  “Come on, Laguna.   I don’t think he was using drugs.  I was trying to figure out what would make a man plot something so heinous.  And when the answer finally hit me, I almost didn’t want to believe it because it was so cliché.”

“Cliché?”

“Yes.  It was love.”

Laguna snorted.  “Then he’s got a funny way of showing it.”

Kiros sat forward.  “Think about it, man.  How many wars have been started because of a scorned lover?  Or vying for the affections of a woman?  Some of the greatest love stories end tragically.  Love is the most powerful emotion in the world.”

“I don’t know, Kiros.  I mean, just because she rejected him?  That seems a little harsh.”

“They were out there in the desert for decades, Laguna.  On top of her rejecting him, it looks like he was developing psychoses from being isolated.  His mental state probably would have deteriorated whether or not he was spurned by her.  Then that letter came and it pushed him over the edge.” 

Laguna twiddled his thumbs.  “But I still don’t understand what hurting Squall would accomplish.  I mean, I can see him wanting me dead, but my son?”

“She would be the perfect weapon to destroy you.  And the best way to hurt you both at the same time was to hurt or kill your child.  I think that’s where the phrase ‘payback’ came from.  It’s payback for stealing her love away, even after you had ‘died’, and to punish her for rejecting him.”

Laguna’s stomach churned at the thought that Raine may have been a pawn.  “Okay, if he wanted to use her, how did he make her do it?  I mean, he’s dead.  It’s not like he could have told her to do it from beyond the grave.”

Kiros removed a small box from his bag and opened it.  He took out the earpiece he had found in Raine’s nightstand and handed it to Laguna.  “He brainwashed her, man.  He was an expert in subliminal messaging.”

Laguna looked at his friend as if he were crazy.  “Have _you_ been doing drugs or something, Kiros?”

Kiros scowled.  “Listen to me, Laguna.  I’m serious.  That thing is loaded with soothing sounds.  Raine told you herself that she was having nightmares at the lab and that Ash had given her a sleep aid.  I had it analyzed.  It contains more than just calming noise and melodies.”  He handed Laguna a computer printout.

Laguna set the small device on the windowsill and read the text out loud.  “We are waiting for the manager to give us passage?  Kill?  Kill…Squall Leonhart.  Payback.”

 Laguna’s hand suddenly went limp and he dropped the paper to the ground.  His mouth hung open in disbelief.  “That son of a bitch.  What did he do to her?”  He curled his fingers into a tight fist, his nails digging small crescents into his palms.  Anger surged through his veins.  “If he wasn’t already dead, I’d kill him where he stood.  He used my beautiful wife in his sick game!”

“Every message was added at different intervals over several years. This was very well planned. I think that his original intention was to kill you, but when the news that Squall was your son came out, his objective changed.  That first phrase, about the manager?  It’s the trigger.  We found it on a letter that had been attached to a package Raine received the morning of the shooting.  It was spelled out ransom-note style with magazine clippings.  It was taped to a gun case.”

Laguna’s whole body began to quiver with anger.  The thought of his wife being brainwashed to kill her own child, just because some lunatic was jealous that he could never have her love was unthinkable.  He seethed in his chair, finally needing to get up before he pulled the armrest from the frame on a count of sheer fury. 

“There’s more, Laguna.  I’m fairly certain that William Ash is very much alive.  I think he sent her the package with the full intention of Squall being killed yesterday.”

Laguna stared at Kiros blankly.  If what he said were true, he would find the rat and break his neck on the spot.  He had never had such strong feelings of hatred for anyone in the world until that moment. 

“I think he’s hiding somewhere, waiting to hear word of Squall’s death and the implosion of your career on the heels of your likely emotional breakdown from the events.”

Laguna rounded Squall’s bed and went to the right side so he could still face Kiros.  He lovingly stroked his son’s forehead, brushing a lock of hair away.  He couldn’t let his anger surface now, while he was this close to the young man.  He didn’t want to hurt him.  It was his way of keeping his fury in check.

“But what about the body found at the lab?”

Kiros sighed.  “Not him.  I did some digging and it seems like the coroner really dropped the ball on this one.  The body had been so brutally beaten that the face was unrecognizable.  They just assumed it was him.  Lazy bastards.”

Laguna immediately vowed to fire the medical examiner.

“My investigations yielded some rather interesting information. The corpse was still in the deep freeze at the ME’s office, since Ash had no living relatives to claim it.  I asked one of the interns there to fingerprint it.  The body belonged to a Frederick Thompson, an inmate at the D-District prison.  He was executed for murder the day before Ash was ‘killed’.”   He stood up and handed a sheet of paper to Laguna over the bed.  “He was the same body type and size as Ash was.  Same hair color and everything.  I can’t prove it because no one at D-District has returned any of my calls, but I’d be willing to bet that Ash paid the Warden a pretty penny with all his dirty Odine money for that body.  That asshole always was corrupt.”

Laguna once again clenched his fist.  “Find him Kiros.  Scour the planet and drag him out of whatever hole he’s hiding in.  I want him dragged by his feet and brought to me so I can deal with him.”  His lips curled with fury.

“Don’t you worry, man.  I _will_ find him.  It may not be tomorrow, but he will be apprehended.  And when he is…well, let’s just say you’re not the only one who would like to personally introduce himself.”  Kiros smirked.

Laguna was absolutely amazed at his friend.  Only Kiros could figure something this elaborate out in such a small amount of time.  He wanted to feel happy that the man had potentially figured the situation out, but instantly he felt incredibly guilty.  “Oh Hyne, Kiros.  Squall was right all along.”  He hung his head.  “He knew something was amiss, and I completely ignored him.”

“You can’t beat yourself up over this, Laguna.  No one knew.  Not even Raine.”

Laguna cast his eyes on his motionless son.  “ _He_ knew.  How could I have been so blind?”

Kiros rounded the bed to stand next to Laguna, placing a comforting arm around his shoulders.  “No one is to blame except Ash.  Never, _ever_ , think otherwise.”

Laguna sighed.  “Does Raine know?  About your theory?”

Kiros shook his head.  “No.  Not yet.  I was planning on going after I talked with you.”

Laguna turned to look at his friend.  “Stay with him, Kiros.  I need to be the one to tell her she didn’t intentionally try to murder her son.”  He felt like some of the weight had been lifted from his shoulders.  “And I intend to bring her home.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

The police precinct was busy for early evening.  Officers acknowledged Laguna with nods or tips of their hats, but stayed silent. He felt ready to fly off the handle at any moment, and assumed his mood silenced the officers.  Laguna could feel the heat in his cheeks, the racing of his heart.

He approached the captain’s office and didn’t even bother knocking before he threw the door open.  The man instantly jumped from his desk and saluted the President. 

“I want to see my wife.  Now.”

The captain motioned for Laguna to take a seat in front of his desk.  “She’s being held in isolation right now, Mister President.  I’m afraid that’s out of the question.”

Laguna glared at the man and refused to sit, instead tossing the files Kiros had prepared on his desk.  “Take me to her now, or pack your belongings.”  He surprised himself; he’d never threatened anyone like that before.  “Look over those files from Ambassador Seagill, since your detectives and the medical examiner fucked up.  You’d think with the President’s family involved your men would have been a little more invested in solving the crime.”

The captain stared blankly at him for a moment before responding. Laguna could tell that he was terribly embarrassed by the way he began to wring his hands nervously and wipe his sweating brow.  “I’ll take you to her personally, Mister President.”

They walked down the hall to the holding cells and the captain instructed a young officer to disengage the lock on Raine’s cell.  As soon as the captain stopped at the chamber, the door unlocked with a mechanical chime and whooshed open.  The scent of Raine’s floral perfume immediately hit Laguna’s nostrils.

She was curled up on a cot in the corner, her back to the door.  When it opened, she immediately looked over her shoulder and nearly tumbled off the bed.

“Laguna!”  She began to hurry towards him, only to have the captain step in and thwart her.

“Stay back, Ma’am.”  He held up a warning hand.  “Turn around so I can cuff you.  I need to protect the President.”

Laguna grabbed his arm forcefully.  “Cuff her and you lose your job.” 

The man turned to him, concerned.  “Mister President, she’s a suspect in your son’s attempted murder.  She needs to be restrained for your safety.”

His stern expression never waning, Laguna responded firmly.  “Go back to your office and read the statement that Ambassador Seagill wrote explaining his theory.  Then you’ll understand why I don’t want my wife cuffed.”  He looked towards Raine, who was visibly shaking with tears streaming down her face.

The captain frowned and relented.  “Mister President, if anything happens to you…”

“I’ll take full responsibility.”  Laguna shooed the man away.  He didn’t even bother to watch him back away and leave the cell, the door sliding shut behind him.  His eyes were on Raine.  His terrified wife.

“Laguna?”  She took a few tentative steps towards him.  “Laguna!  I swear I didn’t mean to hurt Squall.  You have to believe me!” 

Laguna swallowed hard.  He hated seeing her this way.  He could sense the pain and suffering she undoubtedly must have been going through since being imprisoned.  Her eyes were red and puffy, her hair a tangled mess, blouse rumpled.  He could see the remnants of the fingerprinting ink on her dainty fingertips. 

“I know, honey.  And…”  He hesitated, opening his arms to allow her to embrace him.  “…Kiros thinks he knows what happened.”

She melted into his body, and he could feel her heart thundering through her chest against his own.  Her warm breath tickled his neck as she buried her head against him.  The way she shuddered make his knees feel weak.  She was a wreck. 

“Tell me that he’s okay, Laguna.  I’m so scared.” 

He nuzzled his chin into her hair, his anger melting into oblivion as he held her.  She wasn’t a murderer, a criminal.  She was his wife, the mother of their child.  And she hadn’t known what she was doing yesterday in the office.

“He’s hurt pretty bad, Raine.  He hasn’t come back to us yet.”

Her body began to quake and Laguna’s shirt became wet with her tears.  He held her close.

“I want to know what I did.  Tell me everything.  Kiros just said I shot him twice.”

Laguna didn’t want to.  She was hurting bad enough as it was.  Hearing about Squall’s condition would do nothing but harm.  “Raine, I…”

“Tell me, Laguna.  Don’t try and protect me.  I don’t deserve it.”

Laguna’s heart sunk.  To hear her speak in that manner nearly broke him.  “Don’t talk like that.  You most certainly deserve to be protected.  From everything bad in this world.”  He tightened his arms around her back. “But I know you won’t let me get away with not telling you.  He’s in a coma, Raine.  You shot him twice in the chest.”  He felt her shudder.  “He, uh…stopped breathing in my office and Kiros and I did CPR until the medics came.  They worked on him in the ER for a long time.  His heart stopped and they shocked him.”  He tensed at the memory, still fresh.  “They had to remove his spleen in the trauma room; he was bleeding from it too much.  Then they whisked him away to surgery and I didn’t get to see him until hours later.”

“What does he look like, Laguna?”

He exhaled deeply.  “Well, he’s got a breathing tube in his throat, and another tube in his chest that’s draining blood.  He looks…bad.  Real pale.  And then this morning he developed an infection.  They think they caught it early enough, but we’ll have to wait to see if the antibiotics work.”

“I don’t want to live if he doesn’t, Laguna.”

He sighed.  “Don’t say that.  He’s going to wake up.  And we can be a family again.”

Raine pushed back from Laguna, a confused look on her face.  “Be a family again?  How?  I tried to kill our son, Laguna!”  Her voice was shaking.  “I deserve to be locked up forever!”  She fell to her knees in the middle of the room, sobbing into her hands.

Laguna dropped to the ground after her and took her chin in his hand.  He forced her face up to meet his gaze.  “Listen to me, Raine Loire.  Kiros thinks he cracked the case.  You’re not going to be locked up.  I promise you.”

In that moment, the last bit of anger he had held towards her melted away.  There were no feelings of hatred or rage, only concern and love.  He wanted to make sure she was okay.  That they were all okay.  He eased her to her feet once again and led her to the small cot in the corner where they both sat.  He took her trembling hand in his.  “Raine, Kiros thinks Ash is behind this.”

“Ash?  But he’s dead.”

“Just hear me out.  Did he ever mention anything to you about a letter sent by my office?”

Raine shook her head.  “Never.  What does this have to do with me shooting Squall?”

“Everything, honey.  Ash received a letter on my official letterhead years ago, except I didn’t send it. Odine did.”  Raine gasped.  “The letter said he was banished forever by me for terrible experiments.  Ash got so pissed that he vowed revenge on me. He didn’t ever think that Odine had actually sent the letter.”

“Revenge?  But what does this have to do with _me_ Laguna?”  Her eyes were pleading.

“You told me that you thought Ash was in love with you, right?”  She nodded.  “And that you rejected his advances?  Kiros thinks the letter pushed him over the edge and he decided to use you to get back at me.”

She got a confused look on her face.  “But why would he feel threatened?  He and Odine told me you were dead, so it wasn’t like I was going to try and seek you out.”

“Kiros thinks he got to a point where he knew that no amount of wooing or pining for you was going to make a difference.  He knew he could never, ever have your heart.  Even with me…dead.  So, the only thing to do in his crazy mind was to punish you for not loving him.”

Raine sat silently, her hands trembling in Laguna’s.  “But how can you explain why I did what I did?  I don’t even remember walking into your office.”  Her tears fell, splattering on both their hands.

Laguna swallowed hard.  He didn’t know how she would react to being told she had been programmed.  “Raine, sweetheart.  He…he brainwashed you.”

She cocked her head, a mystified look on her face.  “What?  I don’t understand.”

Laguna scratched his neck.  “Remember that earpiece he gave you to help you sleep?  It wasn’t just loaded with music.  He had phrases on there that would get into your brain without you knowing.”

Raine’s breathing became erratic, and she let go of Laguna’s hand to hold her chest. “He said he made it just for me.  He…was so sincere when he gave it to me.  The box even had a bow.”  She shook her head in disbelief and her eyes began to dart around the room.  “Oh, Hyne, Laguna.  All those years I used that thing every night…”

Laguna placed his hands gently around her cheeks, holding her head to get her to focus in on his eyes.  “I know that this is hard to hear, but it’s the evidence that will clear you of this crime.”  His eyes began to water.  “I hate seeing you in so much pain, so broken.  I can’t imagine what it feels like to find out you’ve been used the way that you have.  And to know that he made you hurt our son.”

She immediately began to sob at the mention of Squall.  Laguna pulled her close and began to rub her back.  “Raine, shhhhh.  I’m sorry if I upset you.  We’re going to get through this.  All of us.”  He realized that he had neglected to share one very vital piece of information in that moment, and mentally pinched himself.  He would have to upset her yet again.

“Raine?  There’s something else.”

She pushed back from him, wiping her eyes with her fingers.  “I guess I don’t have a choice on whether or not I want to hear it, huh?”

Laguna sighed.  “Honey, Kiros thinks Ash is alive.”

Raine’s eyes slowly tracked down Laguna’s body and to her lap, where she rested her hands.  She exhaled through pursed lips and began to tremble.  Her voice was barely audible.  “How?”

“He faked his death.  Used a convict’s body, which the Medical Examiner just assumed was him because of the condition.  Raine, he planned this for years.  All that hush money that Odine paid him funded this plan.”  He bit his lower lip. 

They were both silent for a long moment, Laguna allowing his wife time to let all this new information sink in.  She finally looked to him, her eyes no longer showing sadness and fear, but anger.  “Laguna, find him.  Drag him in by his hair.  And when you do, all I need is two minutes.”  He had never seen such seething fury in her before.  “I’ll make him pay for this.  He made me hurt my son.  He tried to break our family.  Tried to force us apart.  He’s going to wish he had never been born.”

Once again, he pulled her close, letting all her anger pour out onto his sleeves as tears.  She sobbed for several minutes, hiccupping breaths shaking them both.  When she calmed slightly, she spoke.  “Does Kiros think he can convince the police to let me go?”

Laguna pushed her back, looking her deep in the eyes.  “You leave the convincin’ to me.  You’re coming home.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Three hours later, Raine and Laguna left the police precinct in the bowels of the palace and made their way up to their home.  The captain had finally agreed to let her leave on the condition that Laguna pay seven-hundred-fifty-thousand Gil in bail money and that Raine be fitted with an electronic monitoring device.  She would not be allowed to leave their residence under any circumstances.  Not even to see her son.

Even with the agreement, the captain had still been uneasy, but after reading the documents that Laguna had given him, he understood that he had some deep investigating to do within his own bureau.  The medical examiner had screwed up big time, costing a potentially innocent woman her freedom, and it seemed as if his own detectives didn’t give the case as much attention as they should have.  It was obvious that he had been very embarrassed—his face had been red the whole time Laguna talked to him and he had tried to make as little eye contact as possible.  No one ignored the fact that Raine had indeed pulled a gun on and shot her own son in cold blood, but as the evidence was piling up against Ash and away from her, feelings became more sympathetic towards the frightened woman. 

An officer escorted them to the door of their apartment, then remained as a guard when they went inside.  There would be a sentry at all times. 

Once through the door, Raine immediately went to the couch and collapsed into the soft leather, curling up into a ball.  She pulled at the bracelet on her ankle with a scowl.  It was cutting into her skin.  She felt the couch dip as Laguna sat beside her.  

“You don’t have to stay with me, Laguna.  I know you want to get back to Squall.”  She drew her knees close to her chest.  “He needs you more than I do.”  She lay silently for a moment before sighing and sitting up. “Will you do something for me though?  I want you to take a few pictures of Squall with your phone.  I need to see what I’ve done.”

“You didn’t _do_ anything, Raine!”

Anger flashed in her blue eyes.  “Yes I did!  Why can’t you see that, Laguna?  Did you just forget what happened yesterday?  No amount of evidence is going to change the fact that I tried to kill our child!”  She held her hands out in front of her, shaking them for emphasis.

Laguna frowned.  Raine could sense the turmoil within him.  His eyebrows furrowed and he looked away from her.  He finally met her gaze; his voice had a stern tone.  “I didn’t forget.  I can _never_ forget.  It haunts my dreams, Raine.  Even when I’m awake that horrible scene plays over and over again.  And the ER…” He shook his head.  “…I know what your body did.  But your mind—your soul—it’s innocent.”

Raine lowered her head.  She didn’t deserve his love, his compassion.  And she certainly didn’t deserve his forgiveness.

“Just do it, Loire.”

Laguna nodded.  “Okay, if it’s really what you want.  But it’s bad, Raine.”

“That’s why I need to see it.”  She leaned back into the couch.  “Come on, go back to the hospital.”

He patted her thigh.  “I’ll admit that I’m really torn.  I don’t want to leave you right after I finally get you home, but…”  He hesitated, scratching his neck.  “…I do need to get back.  Kiros can’t stay forever, and Jane was on her way back.”

Raine sighed at the mention of the young woman’s name.  Up until now, she really hadn’t even thought about how Jane might be affected.  It must be terrifying for her, watching as her boyfriend fought for his life.   “She must hate me right now.  I can’t believe you don’t.”

Laguna was silent for a moment.  When he finally spoke, his voice trembled.  “She’s an amazing young woman, Raine.  I know that she’ll understand once I explain everything.  And she doesn’t hate you.  She’s just as confused as everyone else is right now, and just wants to get to the bottom of this whole mess.” 

He sighed heavily.  “I was so angry at you in the beginning.  It took my breath away to think that you could do such a horrible thing.”  He cast his eyes down at the floor.  “But then I thought back to the way you looked when you came through that door.  I knew something was wrong.  You had vacant eyes, Raine.  It was like there was no life in them.”

A tear slipped down Raine’s cheek.  It ate at her to think that both Laguna and Squall were scared in that moment.  Scared for her and for themselves.

“The next thing I knew, you pulled that gun out of your pants and just shot him.  Your voice was so haunting.  No emotion.” 

Raine leaned forward, crossing her legs underneath her body.  The monitoring device caught on the bottom of her pant leg and scraped against her skin. She looked Laguna straight in the eyes.  “I hate the fact that I lost myself for those moments.  I feel so violated.”  She pursed her lips.  “It was like Ash raped me.  I feel sick to my stomach knowing that I had no control.”

Laguna took her hands in his own, stroking them with his thumbs.  “I can’t imagine what it’s like having holes in time like that. I know I would be scared out of my mind.”

“I am, Laguna.  I just keep going back to when I started to snap out of it, when Ward was holding me.  My mind was foggy, but I remember watching as you and Kiros were helping Squall.  Then the police were pushing me out the door.  And the image of Squall lying on the floor, covered in blood…”  She hung her head as her body began to quiver.  “…and the paramedics trying to save his life.  I wanted to die in that moment.  I didn’t know exactly what was happening, but the handcuffs around my wrists gave me a pretty good indication that I had done whatever horrible thing had happened.”

Laguna raised one of his hands to her cheek, wiping away a stray tear.  “We’re gonna figure this out, Raine.  Kiros’ evidence will clear you and we can all be a family again.”  He hesitated, a small smile gracing his lips.  “Speaking of our family, it got bigger last week, you know.”

Raine arched an eyebrow, eyes still moist.  “How so?”

Laguna’s smile broadened.  “Squall and Jane are getting married.”

She knew she should be happy.  This was the news every mother dreamed of hearing.  But, in that instant, her heart sunk.  All the guilt that she felt for putting bullets into her son’s chest, rendering him comatose—it all seemed to explode tenfold.  Now she had potentially ruined even more lives.  This should have been a happy time for the entire family, and instead they were holding vigil praying that Squall would just open his eyes. 

She began to sob.

“Raine?  Why are you crying?  This is happy news.”  Laguna seemed confused.

“I can’t be happy knowing that this special time in his life might be destroyed before it even has a chance to happen.”

Laguna pulled her close, pressing her body close to his own.  “It’s gonna happen, Raine.  He’ll wake up and come home and then we can all plan a wedding.”

She allowed herself to melt into his arms, finally weeping away all her grief and frustration, and feelings of betrayal and violation.  As she cried for what seemed like hours, Laguna just sat silently, holding her in his strong arms. 

She finally felt some semblance of security again, and for the first time in days:  hope.

Kiros would prove her innocence.  Squall would recover.  They could all live the life they so desperately deserved.

She just prayed her son could forgive her.


	55. Phoenix:  Chapter Fifty-four

Phoenix:  Chapter Fifty-four

The Next Morning

 

                Jane paced anxiously along the bathroom counter.  She hated the timer on her cell phone.  It was like it was laughing at her, counting down as slow as possible.

 Four minutes, thirty-six seconds to go.

She had returned late the night before, after spending most of the evening at the hospital.  At the urging of a nurse, she had relented and left to rest.  On her way she had made a stop at a local drugstore.  When she got home, she allowed herself to crumble, as Laguna had suggested she do.  He had been right.  She desperately needed a good cry. 

She ran herself a bath and sobbed amongst the bubbles, letting all her frustration, worry and fatigue melt away into the warm water.  The sight of Squall’s toiletries on the counter and in the shower had made the tears come easier.  All she wanted was for him to be home, scolding her for using his razor on her legs and grumbling when she left toothpaste globs in the sink.  She was still scared out of her mind, but it had felt good to just cry hysterically with no audience. 

As she sat in the large Jacuzzi-style tub, her mind wandered back to the hospital.  Kiros had been at Squall’s side when she arrived, not Laguna.  He had brought her up to speed on his theory.  It astonished Jane that he had come up with such an elaborate idea in an amazingly short amount of time, but in a strange way it made perfect sense to her.  Squall had been suspicious of ulterior motives since Raine’s arrival.

 Now it looked as if he had had every reason to be. 

To think that someone would have been so vindictive as to brainwash an innocent woman and lie to her for years about her family made Jane seethe.  And to fake his death to have a front-row seat to the inevitable outcome of his sinister plan?  Jane hoped she would get a crack at Ash when they finally apprehended him.

Her thoughts floated to Raine.  Even though she knew the truth, or what they all thought was the truth, she still couldn’t help but still feel angry at her.  Jane felt like an asshole for thinking that way, but the wounds were still too fresh, Squall still fighting for his life.  In time, she hoped that those feelings of ire would subside and they could all move past this.  Jane knew what a caring woman Raine was, she had seen it with her own eyes.  It saddened her to think about the emotional turmoil she must be going through.  Jane knew how the justice system worked:  they probably weren’t giving her any information about Squall. 

She sunk into the suds, the water line resting just under her lips.  She remembered how Laguna’s demeanor had changed when he finally came back to the hospital after bringing Raine home.  He had seemed less stressed, almost happy.  When she had asked about his change in mood, he smiled sincerely and told her that he had brought Raine home.  Jane didn’t know what to think about her being let out of jail.  Granted, it was a supervised and monitored release and Laguna had paid a hefty sum in bail money, but part of her still felt uneasy that Raine had been allowed to leave the jail when Squall was still in danger of losing his life.

She reminded herself, as she ran some more hot water into the cooling tub, that according to Kiros’ theory—which was fairly sound—Raine was innocent.  If he was correct in his assumptions and Ash truly had used her in his sick game of vengeance, then she deserved to be at home.  But there was still lingering feelings of intense anger, and Jane knew that it would take time for those to abate.  Even though the evidence was incriminating Ash more and more with each passing moment, Jane couldn’t get past the fact that Raine had still pointed a gun at her son and pulled the trigger.  Jane cursed herself for being angry with the woman when it really wasn’t her fault. Anger was an irrational beast sometimes, and it needed to be dealt with cautiously.  Jane was prepared to work with her own feelings and those of the family—and ultimately Squall as well—to cope with the massive amounts of emotional recovery that everyone would have to do.  She hoped time would heal all the wounds, physical and emotional. 

Jane couldn’t even fathom how it must have felt to Raine, knowing that your own child lay dying in a hospital because of a horrible plot.  To realize as abruptly as she had that the bullets in Squall’s chest came from her very own hands must have been horrendous. 

As the water cooled once more and the bubbles began to dissipate, she felt a wave of peace wash over her.  She didn’t know if it was because she was just exhausted or if her brain finally allowed itself to calm.  Whatever it was, it felt wonderful.  After her bath, crying and musings, she felt invigorated again, and told herself that she could take whatever life had to throw at her.

She slept in Squall’s bed, snuggled in a worn-out Balamb Garden sweatshirt of his that she dug out of the hamper.  It hadn’t been too dirty, and she wanted to be able to smell him on it.  She knew it was kind of kooky, but unlike the previous night when his scent had just depressed her, this time it soothed her.  It was like he was sleeping there with her, keeping her safe. 

Thankfully, her sleep was dreamless.  The night before she had been plagued with nightmares:  most bloody and traumatic.  She was thankful that she hadn’t been present in the ER with Laguna, or she believed her dreams might have been unbearable.  When she awoke this morning, she was saddened by the fact that her love wasn’t next to her, hogging the blankets.  But, she knew that she had to be optimistic and think positive thoughts. 

_He’ll be home by next week._

That thought allowed her to begin her day, even though she knew once she stepped into that bathroom, another stressful task awaited her.  She didn’t know if she was ready.

Thirty seconds.  She willed herself not to look prematurely.  Her heart was racing. 

Ten seconds.  She tapped her fingers anxiously on the countertop, biting the inside of her cheek to calm her nerves.

The phone chimed.  She closed her eyes and exhaled a deep breath.  She cast her attention to the small plastic device on the counter and picked it up.

“Well, shit.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Once again, Laguna was dancing.  Even the nurses had joined in at one time, remarking that they would probably never forget the spectacle. 

Squall had looked completely different when Laguna had arrived two hours before.   His color had returned, his skin was no longer waxy looking and pale.  Squall’s flushed red cheeks from the fever had been replaced by a normal peachy hue.  The blood work the doctors had sent to the lab confirmed that Squall indeed had a nasty bacterial infection.  As suspected, it had come from the hasty central line that had been placed in the emergency room.  The staff seemed relieved that it was not from the surgery. Laguna could only surmise that that situation would have been much worse, although he didn’t know how.  The nurses really didn’t elaborate.  The physician had assured Laguna that the antibiotics would work swiftly and the threat of the infection spreading would be a distant memory within twelve hours. 

The nurses had also given him exciting news.  The doctor had decided that since the infection seemed to be under control, they were going to begin to decrease the sedatives that were keeping him in the coma.  Little by little, every hour or so, a nurse would be coming in and changing the pump settings, allowing less and less medication to drip into his veins.  She had already done it twice, and was due again soon.

Then all Squall had to do was wake up.

Laguna sipped his coffee as he stared out the window.  Thankfully, he had remembered how awful the hospital offering had been and had brought some from home.  His night with Raine had been awkward after he came back.  She was distant and quiet, not even sleeping in their bed.  She had told him she would be in later, but when Laguna awoke this morning, she had been asleep on the couch.  He hoped it was just because she had been exhausted and fallen asleep there.  It pained him to think that she was dealing with her feelings alone.  He wanted to be able to help her, and in doing so—help himself.  He realized that he needed to give her time, and that hopefully they would all be able to come back to a normal life.

The familiar slide of the door caused him to turn, the coffee sloshing in his cup and almost spilling on his hand.

“Good morning, Jane.”

She nodded silently and went to the bedside, where she leaned in and kissed Squall’s cheek.  She stayed there for a long moment, lips pressed against his skin, eyes closed.  She finally ended the kiss and stood, straightening out the hem of her shirt.

“Hey, Laguna.”  Her face was very serious this morning.

He approached and gave her a quick hug, noting that she was very stiff with her body language.  He raised his eyebrows and dipped his head slightly to look into her eyes.  “Something wrong, honey?”

Jane sighed. “Kind of.  But it’s not important right now.”  She turned her attention to her fiancé.  “He looks way better.”

Laguna was concerned.  “Not important?  Whatever it is that’s bugging you most certainly _is_ important.  Remember what we talked about yesterday?  About not keeping your feelings bottle up?”  He smiled childishly, eyebrows raised.  “Grats, Jane.”

Jane sat and set her hand on Squall’s bicep.  She exhaled deeply and began chewing on her bottom lip.  Her feet began to fidget, and Laguna knew from being around her enough that it was her tell for when she was agitated.  She sat silently for a moment before looking up to Laguna.

“I’m pregnant.”

Laguna didn’t know what to say.  He knew his face must have looked very confused, and to be honest, he was.  He didn’t think this was something they would plan on this early, or at all.  He watched as Jane looked away from him once again, resuming her rumination on her lip.

“Pregnant?  Are you sure?”

Jane nodded.  “Yup.  Three positive tests can’t lie.”  She shook her head.  “This is probably TMI, but my cycle is like clockwork.  Like, I can time it down to the hour.  My period was supposed to come the day he was shot, and when it didn’t I chalked it up to nerves.  But when it didn’t show yesterday, I got suspicious.”  She mustered a small smile.  “I guess we know why I’ve been feeling pukey, huh?”

Laguna couldn’t believe it.  He was going to be a grandfather.  He tried to suppress his joy, as he knew this was quite a shock to Jane.  “Weren’t you guys, you know…careful?”

Jane chuckled.  “The pill isn’t one-hundred percent effective.  Plus, you son hates condoms.”

“I really didn’t need to know that.”  Laguna crossed his eyes and took a long gulp of coffee.

Jane smiled sheepishly.  “Sorry.”  She sighed.  “What am I going to do?  I mean, what if he…”  Her breath hitched.  “If he doesn’t wake up, I don’t know if I can do this by myself.” 

Laguna set his coffee down on the counter and knelt at her side.  “Listen to me, Jane.  First:  he’s going to wake up.  It might even be today.  And second, you would never, _ever_ have to do this alone.  You’ve got a family who loves you very much and would do anything for you.”  He watched as she removed her glasses and wiped them on her shirt.  “You’re going to be a great mother, and Squall a wonderful dad.  And I may not know how to change a diaper, but I’ll learn!”

Jane chuckled.  “Then it’ll be your job, _Grandpa._ ”

Laguna smiled at the word.  He liked it.

Jane looked to Squall.  “Promise me you won’t say anything to him when he wakes up.  I want to wait until he’s out of the hospital and recovering.  I wouldn’t want to stress him.”

“You got it.  Speaking of him recovering, I have cool news!”  Jane’s eyes lit up.  “The doctors are trying to take him off the sedatives.  The nurses are decreasing them little by little.  There’s a good chance that he’ll wake up today, Jane.”

The young woman’s face beamed.  Laguna hadn’t seen her smile like this in days.  “Are you shitting me, Laguna?”  Her eyes were so hopeful.

“No shit here, I promise.  The doctor came in this morning and said since the infection seemed to be under control, they would wean him off the drugs and see if he woke up.  Then more than likely they could take that tube out of his throat.”

Jane leaned in close to Squall’s ear.  “You hear that, Leonhart?  You had better not lead us on and not come out of this.  It’s time for you to get your ass back to us.”  She leaned back, closing her eyes for a moment as her face suddenly turned pale.

“Jane?  You okay?”  Laguna patted her knee.  “You look kinda green.”

The young woman blew a breath out slowly.  “Y-yeah.  Just a little wave of nausea.  Damn, I hope I’m not going to be one of those women who gets morning sickness all day.”

The door slid open suddenly, and the nurse came in.  “Good morning, Mister President, Miss.”  She eyed Jane suspiciously.  “Miss, are you feeling alright?  You’re not sick, are you?”

Laguna chuckled and sipped his coffee.  Jane just shook her head.  “No, nothing like that.”

The nurse looked as if she wasn’t buying her answer.  “I really mean it when I say we can’t have any risk of exposure to sickness in here, guys.  You promise me you’re not sick?”

Jane sighed.  “Well, if you count a tiny human burrowing itself into my body as we speak as being sick, then I guess I am.”

The nurse smiled sweetly.  “That’s wonderful news.”

“Wonderful is not quite how I would describe it yet.  More like terrifying.”  She sighed.  “Please don’t mention it to anyone. Especially him.”  She pointed to Squall.

“Your secret is safe with me, Miss.  Congratulations.”  She made her way to the IV pumps at the head of the bed and began punching in codes on the keypad.  She watched the readout for a moment before backing away from the machinery and turning to Laguna.  “”Well, this should be ‘the one.’”

Laguna was confused.  “The one?”

She smiled.  “This reduction in medication will bring him to the threshold of consciousness.  If he’s going to start to wake up, it will be soon.”

Laguna couldn’t believe it.  There was a possibility that before the day was over, he’d see Squall’s eyes open.  “How will we know when he’s coming around?  Doesn’t the tube in his throat make it hard?”

The nurse crossed her arms over her chest.  “As he comes around, he’ll more than likely start ‘bucking the vent’ as we call it.  Meaning, he’ll begin to bite on the tube or his body will start to try and breathe on its own, triggering a sensor on the ventilator.”

Laguna was cautiously hopeful.  “How long before he might do that?”

The nurse pursed her lips.  “It could be an hour, even several .  And there’s no guarantee that he’ll do it with this dose reduction.  He was heavily sedated, and may need more of the drugs out of his system before he’s able to regain even a bit of consciousness.  Coma is a hard thing to come back from right away.”

Jane spoke up.  “Will it hurt him when you take out that tube?”

The nurse shook her head.  “It shouldn’t.  It’s not comfortable, though.  He’ll cough a lot and gasp for air for a moment.  But it looks a lot worse than it really is.”

Jane just nodded.  Laguna stood at the foot of Squall’s bed, watching the vent shake his chest.  He was relieved that it might be gone by the night and Squall could breathe on his own.  

The nurse moved back to the door.  “I’ll be monitoring him from the nurse’s station.  Keep an eye on his hands, his fingers might start to twitch and move when he’s beginning to come around.  Let me know if you see that.”  She smiled.  “This is a good day, you two.  I can feel it.”

Jane stood and stretched her neck.  Laguna watched as her hands instinctively moved to her midsection.  She looked down to her belly.  “Well kid, let’s cheer Daddy on to make him come back to us.  ‘Cause I’ll be damned if I’m changing all your diapers.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Raine decided to throw herself into one of the only things that seemed to always calm her.  She stood in her kitchen, methodically chopping vegetables.  The rhythmic pulse of the blade on the cutting board soothed her emotions.   If she couldn’t leave her own house, she would at least keep herself busy. 

As she cubed potatoes for a slow-cooker soup, her mind wandered back to the previous evening.  When Laguna had returned from the hospital well after midnight, his face was solemn.  He had nervously flipped his phone over and over in his hands.  She knew that he had done what she had asked.

He had sat next to her on the couch, wordlessly activating the device and bringing up the photo gallery.  He said nothing as he handed her the phone.  Her eyes trailed down to the gadget in her hands and rested upon a truly heart-shattering sight.

Her baby looked like death.

As she studied the photos, four in all, she couldn’t keep the tears from falling from her eyes.  One splattered on the screen, obscuring her son’s pale face for just a moment before she wiped it away.  The first, taken from the foot of the bed, showed his full body length.  The first thing she had noticed was all the machinery.  Numerous wires and tubes trailing back to various devices that she could only guess were keeping him alive.  Her eyes had rested on the giant machine at the left side of his head, connected to the awful looking tube in his throat.  When she had asked Laguna about it, all he had said was that it was loud.  Laying there in that bed, her once strong son had been reduced to a nothing more than a helpless body, clinging to life. 

And all at her hands.

Laguna’s next photo was taken from the right side, where she could get a good look at the thick tubing jammed into his neck.  A central line.  Raine knew from watching medical dramas on television for years that they needed to use that to administer medications to her son because his smaller veins just wouldn’t be able to hold the amount of fluids that the physicians needed them to.  Raine could only imagine what types of drugs were streaming into his body through those lines.  Laguna had mentioned blood pressure and heart medications, sedatives and antibiotics.  It made her feel weak in the knees that her son needed all of those medicines to survive. 

Because of what she had done.

She had scrolled to the next photo, taken this time from the left side of the bed.  She could see what looked like a petite hand in the corner of the picture, a sparkling diamond just barely visible at the edge of the image.  She knew it was Jane.

The left side view of Squall nearly caused her to crumple from the couch.  Bandages from the surgery.  A chest tube.  Bruised skin from forceful CPR.  Everything looked so medieval to her, so barbaric.  She prayed that he wasn’t in any pain. 

The final image was the hardest to look at.  Laguna had taken a close up of his face.  She almost didn’t want to see it, but knew for her own sake that she had to look.  She needed it to haunt her forever, so she would never forget what she did to her own flesh and blood.

It broke her.

Squall’s once vibrant and strong face was drawn and pale, his mouth slightly open to make room for the endotracheal tube threaded down his throat.  His angular cheeks were covered with strips of tape, holding the tube in place.  More tape held his eyes shut, the long lashes peeking out from under the adhesive.  Remnants of the iodine cleansing solution used to clean his neck for the placement of the central line wisped up the right side of his face, staining his chin. 

Raine fought to keep herself from vomiting.  Her hands began to shake and before she knew it, the phone had slipped and went crashing to the floor.  The screen cracked in the lower right corner. 

The room seemed to close in on her, and her breath wasn’t being allowed from her lungs.  She sat trying to gain composure as the images of her son were singed into her memories forever.  Never to be forgotten.  Time stood still for the frightened woman, and it seemed like she was instantly alone in the world. 

Only Laguna’s hand on her shoulder brought her back to reality. 

“I did this, Laguna.”

He had pulled her close and held her tight while she wept…

A singeing pain in her hand snapped Raine from her thoughts of the previous night.  She looked down to find a line of blood beginning to form along the top of her left thumb.  She stared at the wound, watching as the crimson liquid began to form droplets that quickly rolled down her thumb and onto the cutting board. 

She watched as the small amount of blood increased and began to flow stronger, staining the potatoes underneath.  She felt the pain.  It ached and throbbed, mixing with the sharp sting of a fresh cut. 

She told herself she deserved it.  That it was a small price to pay for the unimaginable pain that Squall had felt. 

Raine, still grasping the butcher’s knife in her right hand, used her thumb to press on the cut.  The pain intensified and she closed her eyes and willed herself to feel every bit of it.  Her breath was ragged as she twisted her thumb, feeling the two halves of the damaged skin move apart underneath.  The pain was great, but suddenly not enough.

She knew what she had to do.

Raine’s grip tightened around the knife and she turned her left arm over, exposing her wrist.  She looked at the unmarred skin for a moment, noticing the plump veins underneath.  She brought the blade to her wrist and hovered it over the area.  Slowly lowering it to her body, she held it there for a moment, just barely touching her skin.

She didn’t deserve to live.

Closing her eyes, she pressed the blade gently at first, then more firm into her wrist, feeling as the sharp edge began to pierce her skin.  She opened her eyes to see tiny droplets of blood stick to the shining knife.

Just one quick slice and it would be done.

Her hand trembled, her nerves faltering.  If she did this, Laguna would be left without her—again.  Ellone would be without an aunt, Squall no mother. 

Her feelings were running rampant in her brain.  She desperately wanted to end her life, to make sure that she could never hurt anyone again.  She felt that she deserved to die for the horrible thing she had done.  And yet, in the moment of truth, she couldn’t bring herself to do it.  She needed to live to be able to apologize to her son for what she had done. 

Raine dropped the knife, a tiny nick taken out of her dainty wrist.  Only a few droplets of blood stuck to her skin.  She collapsed to the kitchen floor and curled up into a ball where she sobbed until her eyes could no longer produce tears.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“Anything yet?” 

Jane glanced up at Laguna and shook her head.  “Nope.  Not even a twitch.”  Her eyes were downcast, and she sighed heavily.  She leaned back in her chair.  “I thought the nurse said he would start to wake up soon. It’s been hours.”

The president sat across from the young lady.  “She said he _might_ wake up soon.  We have to give him time.” 

Jane nodded.  “I know.  I’m just not a very patient person.”  She leaned in close to Squall’s ear.  “Leonhart?  It’s time for you to wake up.  The nurses think you’re ready.  Don’t make them look like assholes.” 

Laguna chuckled and shook his head.  “Well, that’s one way to get him to respond.” 

They sat for another hour, the nurse coming in at her regular interval to decrease the sedative dose.  Jane had asked if the staff were starting to become worried that he wasn’t responding.  The nurse replied honestly that if he wasn’t showing signs of waking after she dialed the medications down another time, that concern for his brain function would begin to rise.  The sedatives were fairly low now, so low in fact that he would begin to feel pain.  He didn’t want his son to be hurting.  But, if it was what would rouse him, then he realized that it needed to be done. 

Forty-five minutes had come and gone, with the President succumbing to his heavy eyelids and allowing himself a small nap.  Snapped from his dozing, Laguna awoke with a start at Jane’s excitement.

“Holy shit!  Laguna, look!”  She was pointing to Squall’s left hand, where his pinky and ring finger were twitching.  Rising quickly and moving around the bed, he stared at his son’s hand, which had become motionless once again.  “You saw that, right?” 

“You bet I did.”  Laguna couldn’t contain his smile.  “C’mon, Squall.  Do it again.”  They watched the young man’s hand in anticipation of more movement.  Several seconds later, they were rewarded as his fingers jerked, then formed a loose fist before flattening out again.

“Hot damn, Squall!”  Jane jumped in place and clapped her hands.

Laguna could feel tears begin to form in the corners of his eyes.  Days of waiting and hoping seemed to be over.  Now all his son had to do was open his eyes.

His eyes.  The tape.

“Be right back!”  Laguna tapped Jane on the shoulder as he made a beeline for the door.  A quick moment later he returned, the nurse in tow. 

“So, I hear he’s moving his fingers.  That’s good!”  The nurse went to the left side of the bed, shooing Laguna and Jane around to the other side.  She studied the monitors closely.  “Have you noticed his mouth moving at all?”  The pair shook their heads.  “Because according to the readouts on the vent, he triggered it.”

“Triggered it?”  Laguna was cautiously optimistic. 

“His body is coming out of sedation, and he’s trying to breathe on his own.  There…look at his mouth.”

All eyes were on Squall.  And, as if on cue, his lips curled slightly, and it was apparent that he was biting on the tube.  The machine chirped loudly as his teeth applied pressure to the tube, then pushed two forceful breaths into his lungs rapidly, almost sounding like the pneumatic brakes on a bus.  His cardiac monitor began beeping quicker as his heat rate rose.  Thirty seconds later, the process repeated itself.

“Even though he’s not fully conscious, his body wants that thing out of there.  I’m going to drop the sedatives again and see if he won’t come back all the way.”  She changed the output on the pump.  “Give him a few minutes.  I decreased it quite a bit.”  She firmly pushed her pen into Squall’s nail bed on his left ring finger and Laguna watched as Squall’s face grimaced.  “See?  He felt that.  He’s coming around.”

The trio sat vigil and watched as Squall’s hands—both of them—began to move.  The nurse reached over and removed the tape from his eyelids, prying each one open gently and taking out the moist gauze that had been underneath.  She let them fall back into place, and Laguna was relieved when they actually closed all the way.  Now nothing stood in the way for the young man to open them.    

Not expecting anything to happen for several minutes, Laguna was shocked when his son’s eyes began to flutter open, just giving them a tiny glimpse of the blue underneath.  He moved closer to the bed, crossing in front of Jane.  He grabbed Squall’s hand.  “Son?  Can you hear me?  Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”  Laguna eagerly waited.

And Squall squeezed.

It wasn’t strong, but it was enough.  Laguna’s eyes became wet and tears rolled down his face.  “Squall?  Jane’s here.  We need you to wake up.”  He relinquished his hold on the young man’s hand so his fiancée could take over. 

Jane cupped both hands around Squall’s.  “Leonhart!  Just open your eyes.  It’s time.”

Squall’s mouth curled around the tube again and his head moved slightly to the left.  His eyes cracked open for a split second before closing into a squint. His body became rigid, and an alarm on the vent began beeping wildly, the sound much different from the soft chirp it had let out earlier.  Laguna immediately panicked.  He hated those alarms.

“What’s happening?” 

The nurse smiled, which Laguna thought was borderline inappropriate.  How could she be happy that bells and whistles were blaring?  “He’s trying to breathe.”  She laid a soothing hand on the top of his chest.  “Mister Leonhart?  You need to stay calm.  Let the vent breathe for you for the time being.”  Squall’s body relaxed and his heart rate calmed somewhat. 

 Jane applied more pressure to his hand.  Laguna could tell by the sheer excitement on her face that Squall had squeezed back. 

Laguna moved in closer.  “Squall.  I know that you can hear me and that it must be scary to have that tube in your throat.  But Jane and I are right here and everything’s going to be okay. We really need you to wake up.” 

Squall’s head came back to its original position before rolling to the right.  Laguna winced as the port of the central line became depressed by his neck. He hoped it wasn’t painful.  The young man’s eyes were moving back and forth under his closed eyelids.  Jane knelt by the bedside, bending Squall’s arm up at the elbow to rest on the mattress, her hand still tightly clasped around his.  She pressed her lips lightly to his fingers.  “Please Squall.  The sooner you wake up the sooner you can come home.”

Squall’s eyes fluttered again, and they all watched as he struggled to keep them open.  After several long, lethargic blinks, he managed to keep the lids from falling back down.  His eyes immediately began to track around the room.  His reaction time was sluggish.  His left eye wasn’t following in sync with his right.  Laguna knew the nurse had seen it too, for she immediately snapped her fingers in front of Squall’s face, trying to get his attention focused on her.  She moved her hand away from him slowly, pointer finger extended.

“Mister Leonhart?  Follow my finger.”  Laguna watched as his son tried to get his eyes to obey, then failed him and closed once again.

“Is he okay?  Why was his left eye not following as fast as his right?”  The doctor’s words about brain damage once again invaded his mind. 

The nurse pursed her lips.  “It could just be a side effect of the sedatives.  He’s been under for a really long time and his brain is probably trying to work it all out of itself.  We’ll have to wait and as the drugs are purged from his system, it will be more apparent whether or not the eye issue is neurological.” 

Laguna couldn’t keep the worry from his face.  Here they were, watching Squall finally wake up, and they were again faced with the possibility of brain damage.  He felt his cheeks flush and his stomach tighten.  Inhaling deeply, he told himself that he needed to be strong for his son’s sake, as well as Jane’s.  He couldn’t allow himself to be afraid, or Squall might sense it. 

The nurse leaned in close and spoke directly into Squall’s ear.  “Mister Leonhart, I need you to open your eyes again.”  She waited for a moment as Squall’s head lolled again, this time to the left at the sound of her voice.  His eyes, however, did not open.  The nurse bent her pointer and ring fingers together and dug her knuckles into Squall’s breastbone, moving them back and forth forcefully, eliciting a grimace and small groan from the young man.  “This should rouse him.  It hurts.”

Laguna frowned.  He didn’t like seeing his son being intentionally hurt.  Squall’s head jerked to the left side and his face wrinkled into a pained expression.  His left hand began to rise to his face.  In an instant his eyes shot open and Laguna could tell that panic had set in.  The young man began to grasp at the tube, forcing the nurse to grab his hand and hold it back.  Tears rolled down Squall’s cheeks as the klaxons on the monitors went wild.  Jane struggled to keep hold of Squall’s other hand as the strength of fight or flight set in.

Without missing a beat, the nurse, still holding Squall’s flailing wrist, opened up an adjacent drawer on one of the many carts bedside and pulled out what looked like restraints.  She matter-of-factly wrapped the soft cuff around Squall’s arm and attached it to the side of the bed.  “Hold his other hand, Miss.  Don’t let go or he’s liable to try and yank the tube.”

Laguna’s heart broke.  “Is that really necessary?  He’s scared enough.”  He unconsciously rubbed his own left wrist.

The nurse nodded.  “It’s for his own protection.  There’s a balloon at the end of the tube holding it in place in his throat.  If he pulled on it, he could potentially hurt himself very badly.  Once he calms down and can listen to directions, I’ll remove the cuff.”  She gently used her free hand to turn Squall’s head towards her.  “Mister Leonhart?  I need you to listen to me.  There’s a tube in your throat that’s helping you breathe.  Squeeze my hand if you understand.”

Laguna watched his son’s hand in the nurse’s like a hawk.  Sure enough, he saw Squall’s fingers tense around that of the nurse.

“Good.  You can’t pull on it, or you could damage your trachea.  It’s going to need to stay in for a while longer until I can test your airway.  Then I will take it out.” 

Squall’s eyes went to the right, his left eye still not tracking in unison with the other.  He stared at Jane, who wiped the tears from his cheek.  “Don’t be scared, Leonhart.  I’m right here, and so is your Dad.”  The young man blinked slowly and looked up at Laguna.

“Hey, son.  Welcome back.”  He pushed a piece of hair away from Squall’s eyes with a small smile.

Squall’s eyes closed slowly, the lids appearing heavy and unwilling to stay open.  The nurse pinched his arm, causing his eyebrows to furrow.  His eyes opened gradually as he turned his head to face the woman.

“Your body is still trying to work the sedatives out.  You might feel very loopy and tired for a while.  Try to stay awake, though.”  She turned and got a small flexible hose from the drawers, attaching it to a port in the wall.   “I’m going to clear your airway of all the gunk that has settled in your throat while you were sedated.  This might be uncomfortable, but it will also show me if you can protect your airway.”  She looked to Jane and Laguna and added quietly, “He’s not going to like this.”

“What are you going to do to him?”  Laguna removed his hand from the young man’s forehead as the nurse eased his head back to an un-turned position.

“I’m going to put a small amount of suction in the tube.  It’ll show me whether or not he will be able to breathe on his own.  If he doesn’t react, he’s not ready.”  She threaded the hose down the tube in his throat, causing him to grimace.  Squall moved his eyes to the right as far as they would go, focusing his attention on Jane.  She smiled reassuringly.  Activating the suction, the nurse then placed her thumb over a small hole in the tubing, causing the young commander to screw his eyes shut while it appeared that he was trying to cough.  Tears formed at the corners of his eyes.  The nurse kept her thumb in position and removed the suction hose from the ET tube, making a gurgling sound as it removed the mucous from his throat.  “That’s just the reaction I was hoping for.”  She patted Squall’s upper arm.  “Let’s get that thing out, hmmm?”

Squall’s entire body relaxed and he nodded his head gingerly.  The nurse busied herself with removing supplies from the various drawers and cabinets.  Laguna bent over, watching Squall’s eyes track him as he did so.  He was still worried about his left eye.  He leaned in close to his ear.  “This is all going to be over soon, kid.  You’re doing great.”

The nurse turned back to the group.  “Alright, let’s do this.”  She leaned in closer to Squall, tapping his cheek to get him to focus on her.  “I’m going to release the balloon at the end, then I’ll ask you to take a deep breath and hold it.  Do you understand?  Squeeze my hand if you do.”  Squall complied.  “Good.  When I remove it, it will be uncomfortable but the feeling should pass quickly.  You’re going to cough a lot when it comes out, but I’ll put an oxygen mask over your mouth and nose right away to help you breathe.  If you have trouble maintaining your airway, I might have to re-intubate you, alright?” 

Squall closed his eyes and nodded his acceptance.  They slowly opened and he stared at the ceiling.

“Okay, here we go.”  The nurse removed the tape holding the apparatus in place on Squall’s cheeks.  It left little white marks that almost immediately turned red where the adhesive had irritated his skin.  Pressing a few buttons on the vent, it finally went silent, signaling that she had turned it off.  After disconnecting the long hose coming from the machine to the end near Squall’s mouth, she turned her attention back to the young man lying prone.  The room had never sounded so quiet. She then attached a small syringe to another port on the apparatus and pulled the plunger back, removing the air from the balloon at the end.  The tube immediately began to wiggle.  Squall grimaced as his body instinctively swallowed.  The nurse looked to Squall.  “Ready?”

He nodded and clasped Jane’s hand tightly.

“Take a deep breath for me and hold it until you feel the tube slide out, alright?”  Squall’s chest rose as his lungs filled with air.  He tightened his eyes shut and in one fluid motion, the nurse removed the tube.  It was longer than Laguna had expected it to be.  Squall immediately began to choke as it exited his body, his legs stiffening under the sheets.  Laguna prayed it would be over quick.

A raspy cough escaped his lips, shaking his whole body.  The nurse immediately placed a flexible clear plastic mask over his mouth and nose and held it there.  “Take deep, even breaths.  Give your lungs a minute to adjust to breathing on their own again.”  The young man continued to cough as the nurse removed the soft padded restraint from his left wrist.  When his hand was free, he slowly lifted it to the mask, and he pressed it against his face, almost as if to force the oxygen in faster.

After a few moments, his breathing calmed and when he was able to take a breath without too much strain, the nurse removed the mask from his face.  “Your voice will be very hoarse for a couple of days.  The ET tubes are very irritating.”

Squall’s swallowed hard, his actions producing a wince.  Jane leaned in close and tenderly kissed his lips.  He watched as his son’s eyes closed at the contact, his left hand reaching up to gingerly caress her face before flopping back to his side.  Squall looked exhausted.

Laguna sighed with relief.  He couldn’t believe that Squall was actually conscious.  Jane released the kiss and sat up, then looked to Laguna with a hopeful smile.  The nurse busied herself with the monitors for a moment before addressing Squall.

“How are you feeling, Mister Leonhart?” 

Squall swallowed hard, his mouth curling into a grimace.  His voice was almost inaudible, a raspy whisper.  Jane and Laguna both had to lean in close to hear him.  “My chest hurts.”  His eyes closed once again and he sighed.

“Well, now that you’ve woken up, I can increase your pain meds to make you comfortable.  Once you’ve proven to me that you can keep your airway safe, say in about an hour, I’ll crank them up even more and you’ll be a very happy man.”  She winked.  “I’m going to call radiology; they’re going to need to x-ray your chest just to make sure your lungs are clear.  They’ll be up quick.”  She pressed a button on the panel behind the bed and called for the x-ray team, then increased the pain medications on the IV pump.

“Thank you.”  He mouthed the words, no sound emanating from his lips.  He turned his head back to Jane.  She smiled softly and ran her hand through Squall’s hair.  When she began to cry and tears fell onto her cheeks, Squall frowned.  “Please don’t cry.” 

Jane sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.  Laguna crossed behind her and moved to her right side, closer to the end of the bed so Squall didn’t have to crane his neck to see him.  He watched as the young man’s eyes followed him, and his left still didn’t respond as quickly as the right.  Laguna pulled a chair over from the side and sat, placing his hand on his son’s leg.

Squall’s chest rose and fell gently, a far cry from the shaking of the vent not ten minutes prior.  His eyelids drooped.  He let go of Jane’s hand and did something Laguna never expected. 

Squall actually reached for him.

Laguna let out a surprised breath as he leaned forward and took the young commander’s hand in his own.  Squall squeezed gently before relaxing his grip.  With eyes closed, he tried to speak.  “Wh-what happened?”

Laguna and Jane both exchanged quizzical glances.  Did he really not remember?  Jane’s gaze dropped to the floor and she frowned slightly.  Laguna cocked his head and bit the inside of his cheek.

“Don’t you remember, son?”

Squall shook his head slowly and swallowed.  “I…I remember looking at…blueprints in…your office.”  He sighed heavily.  “Then everything…everything went black.”  His words were slurring, his eyes beginning to roll around in their sockets as the pain meds took effect.

Laguna became worried.  Was this another side effect of the oxygen deprivation to his brain?  Would he ever remember what had happened?  “Why can’t he recall anything more?”

“Mister President, it’s probably just the pain medication talking.  His thoughts are probably pretty sluggish right now.  Give him a day or two and he’ll remember.”  She offered an encouraging smile, before quieting her voice to a whisper.  She leaned over the young man lying in the bed to talk into Laguna’s ear.  “For now it’s a good idea to drop the subject.  We don’t want to stress him unnecessarily.”

Laguna nodded, feeling Squall pull lightly on his hand.  “Why am I in the hospital?”  The young man’s face was beginning to show signs of confusion and panic.  His eyes darted around the room, and his breathing became faster.  “L-laguna?”

The president fought to keep his composure.  The sight of his son unable to recall any events and starting to lose control was causing him to feel like the walls were closing in on him.  He shut his eyes for a moment in an attempt to calm himself, with full intention of answering Squall.  Before he could, a soothing voice from his left chimed in.

“Shhh, Leonhart.  Don’t be afraid.”  Laguna opened his eyes to see Jane rubbing Squall’s bicep gently.  Her voice was like a lullaby, calming and melodic.  “You were shot.  But you’re going to be okay.  We can talk more about it later, when you’ve had some rest.”

Squall exhaled deeply, a gasp following on the heels of a rough cough.  The nurse moved forward with the oxygen mask again, but he lethargically waved her off.  “I’m…so tired.” 

Laguna looked to the nurse.  “Is he alright?  I mean, didn’t he just sleep for days?” 

“Coma isn’t sleep, Mister President.  He’s going to be exhausted for quite a while.  That, and the pain meds are making him extremely sleepy.”  Laguna turned his gaze back to his son, who was fighting a losing battle with his eyelids. 

“When will we know if the eye thing is permanent or not?”  Jane’s voice was laced with concern as she pointed to his left eye.

The nurse crossed her arms over her chest.  “Let’s let him sleep for now and when this round of medications wears off and he starts to be more lucid, the docs will test his neuro functions again.  There’s no use in getting worried over something quite yet that may resolve itself with time.”  She smiled sincerely. 

The radiology team arrived and Jane and Laguna stepped out for a moment so they could work.  They stood in the hallway; Jane snuggling into Laguna’s waiting arms.  She sighed heavily.  “I can’t believe he’s finally awake.  I think I could do a cartwheel right here in the ICU.”

Laguna laughed.  “Probably shouldn’t.  After all…”  He pushed her away and rested his gaze on her midsection.

“It’s not like I could do one before anyway.  I’d break my ass.”  She winked.  “Hyne, he’s gonna freak when he finds out.”

“He’ll be fine.  I know that if it were me in his shoes, and I just went through this whole life-altering ordeal, I’d look at things a bit differently than I had in the past.  I think it’s the best thing that could happen for the family right now.”  He smiled sincerely, small crow’s feet creasing his eyes.  “Gives us something to look forward to.  Well, that and two weddings!”

Jane chucked.  “Oh man, I’m going to be all big and pregnant at Elle’s wedding.  Just great.”

They waited for several minutes until the x-ray team had finished.  When they had left, the nurse beckoned them to come back. 

Squall’s breathing pattern had changed and it was apparent that he had fallen asleep.  Jane leaned in and kissed his lips before taking a seat bedside.  She rested a hand on her abdomen.  Laguna stood at her side, taking Squall’s hand in his own.

“The scans show that everything looks good, no pneumonia or lingering effects from intubation.  I’m going to stick around for another twenty or so minutes, just to monitor him and make sure he doesn’t need the tube put back in.  The doctor is on his way to see him and then we’ll all be out of your hair for a while, alright?”  The nurse wiggled a lead on Squall’s chest before turning her attention back to the monitors. 

Laguna and Jane both looked at each other, their expressions a mix of joy, exhaustion and cautious optimism. 

Squall was back.  Now all he had to do was get stronger.

Then they could all begin to heal.  As a family. 


	56. Phoenix:  Chapter Fifty-five

Phoenix:  Chapter Fifty-five

                _“Raine, honey?  He’s awake.”_

Raine clutched the phone so tightly in her hand that her fingers began to turn white.  A wave of relief greater than anything she had ever felt before washed over her.  Her knees buckled and she dropped down to the bedroom floor, thankful that her prayers had been answered.  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  “Laguna?  Is he alright?”

_“He’s really out of it.  The nurse took out the breathing tube and now he’s resting comfortably.”_

“Is he in any pain?” 

She heard Laguna sigh.  _“A little.  They will increase the pain medicine after a while.  They want to make sure he will keep breathing on his own first.”_

Raine hung her head.  She desperately wanted to see him, to apologize for everything she had done.  Her voice trembled.  “Does he remember anything?”

Laguna was silent for a long moment.  _“Not really.  He remembers being in my office, then waking up in the hospital.  He didn’t know he had been shot.”_

Laguna had mentioned something about brain damage from oxygen deprivation, and she instantly feared the worst.  She was glad that Squall didn’t remember what had happened—for now.  At some point he would have to be told what occurred if he didn’t remember on his own, but for now it was almost as if he was protected.

Protected from the recollection of his mother pulling a gun on him. 

But she also was scared that the impairment to his memories would be permanent.  If he were to have lasting memory issues it would break Raine’s heart.  She knew he had had experiences with memory loss before at the hands of the GF’s, but that was reversible with time after de-junctioning.  Brain damage from an injury was very different, and no amount of magical or medical help could reverse its effects.  Only time. 

And time wasn’t always a guarantee.

_“Raine?  You still there?”_

“Yes.”  She pushed herself up to her feet, then sat on the end of the bed.  “Are you going to tell him what happened?  About me?”

Raine heard her husband exhale deeply, causing distortion on the line.  _“We’re going to wait and see if he remembers anything on his own.  He’s pretty whacked out on medications right now, so he’s not ‘all there’ if you catch drift.  After he wakes up, we’ll ask him again.”_

“And what if he doesn’t remember, Laguna?  I’m sorry that I’ve put you in a position where you’re going to have to tell our son that I tried to kill him.”  Raine shuddered at the thought.  Laguna was hurting enough with everything that was going on.  To have to break the news of the incident to Squall was going to be difficult.  Laguna would be a mess. 

_“Let’s just think positively, okay?  I know that eventually—whether or not I tell him or he remembers on his own—that he’s going to know what happened.  But I’ll be right there to explain Kiros’ findings and we_ _can only pray that he understands.  We have to remember, he’s just gone through what is more than likely the most traumatic event in his entire life.  He’s probably not going to take it well in the beginning.”_ Raine heard Laguna switch the phone to his other ear.  _“He’s going to need time and a lot of support.  But in the end, he’s so smart; he’ll realize that Kiros’ logic is sound.”_

Laguna was right.  Squall was a very military-minded young man.  If anyone would find Kiros’ theory acceptable, it would be him.  After all, he had always been suspicious of ulterior motives behind Ash, and now he was proven right.

“I know.  I just want his forgiveness.”  She sighed, and muttered under her breath.  “Not that I deserve it.”

_“Raine, you listen to me.  None of this is your fault.  You were used.  Squall will see that and he’ll forgive you.  Think back to how close you two were becoming before this happened.  He loves you, Raine. He might not say it—ever—but he does.  And I know deep down in my heart that he wants you in his life.”_

He was right, of course.  About everything.  She and Squall had become closer over the last couple of weeks, and she could sense a change in him.  The way he didn’t pull back if she attempted to make physical contact with him, or when he would actually engage in conversation without it seeming to her like he was forcing himself.  And the smile.  She would never forget that beautiful smile he had gifted her with that morning by the pool. 

She hated to think that everything could be ruined by her own actions. 

“Thanks, Loire. Keep me up to date, okay?”

_“You bet.  I’ll be home later.  I…love you, Raine.”_

Raine screwed her eyes shut, a single tear dripping down her cheek.  She still didn’t feel worthy of Laguna’s love.  She just prayed that time would be kind to their family and allow them all to heal.

 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Squall’s eyelids felt as if they were weighted down with bricks.  No matter how hard he tried to crack them open, the pressure on them was just too great.  He wanted to see what was going on in the room, but he didn’t know if it was worth the effort.  He just didn’t have the energy.

Everything on him hurt.  The right side of his neck throbbed, and it felt like something foreign was invading it.  The same feeling came from the left side of his chest, along with tremendous pressure.  Every breath he took caused his ribcage to protest with a sharp pain.  Just underneath, along his abdominal muscles, the skin felt tight and resistant.  Squall’s throat felt irritated and dry, and it was as if thousands of Cactuars had unleashed their spines into his mouth. 

His brain felt muddled and slow, his consciousness not melding together to form anything coherent.  He didn’t like it.  Squall felt completely out of control, his mind wavering between terrifying hallucinations and lucid thoughts.  He tried desperately to remember anything about what had happened, but the haze within his mind was running rampant.  One moment it seemed as if thousands of Bite Bugs were closing in on him, nipping at his exposed skin, only to have them disappear and an image of Raine replace them.  The vision was cloudy; he could barely make her out.  She was holding something out in front of her, and he heard two loud bangs.

_What the hell?  Was it…?_

He found himself falling through his own brain, images flying by him at an incredible speed as his mind slowly came out of the drug-induced stupor.  Laguna’s terrified eyes.  Total panic.  Excruciating pain.  Feeling weightless as the world closed in on him and turned black. 

_Laguna was so scared.  He was crying…  He begged me to stay with him…_

Suddenly his own voice filtered through his head, the terror in his tone something he had never experienced.  He had asked Laguna to help him, told him that he was scared.  He had called him “Dad.”  In that moment, Squall realized just how urgent the situation had been, and just how close he had come to losing his life. 

He listened to the noises coming from the darkness of his semi-waking state.  Beeping, a muffled voice, a mechanical whine.  The voice sounded feminine, and he knew he should recognize it.  His disordered brain tried to put a face to the familiar sound.  Maybe if he cracked his eyes just a bit, he would be able to see who it was.

Forcing himself to lift his eyelids, Squall’s vision didn’t focus right away.  A person was sitting in a chair to his right, talking.  He was confused.  There wasn’t anyone answering.  He tried to process for a moment, finally figuring out that whoever it was had a phone in their hand.  He felt his fingers clench into a loose fist.  It felt as if he didn’t have control over his own hand as the digits twitched slightly.

“Mom, I gotta go.  He’s waking up.  I’ll call you later…I love you too.”

He felt something soft brush over the back of his hand then squeeze gently. 

“Squall?  Can you hear me?”

_Who the hell is that?  Why can’t I remember?_

More pressure on his hand, and the feeling of hair being brushed away from his forehead.  He smelled the faint scent of sandalwood and patchouli.  So incredibly familiar.  The aroma comforted him, and he felt safe. Whoever was sitting next to him moved closer, their lips nearing his right ear.

“Come on, Leonhart.  I know you’re there.  Please wake up.”

_It’s…it’s Jane._

Squall blinked slowly, his eyes beginning to clear of the film that seemed to coat them.  The most wonderful sight he had ever seen appeared in front of him as the haze lifted.  Jane sat forward in the chair, her t-shirt riding up ever so slightly to expose her bare midriff.  Her glasses were perched on her nose, just a tiny bit crooked like always.  He remembered how she hated that they never fit right, but refused to get another pair because she liked the now-discontinued design.  He felt her tiny, warm hand close around his own, her fingers threading through his.  Her eyes were hopeful, and it seemed as though she was waiting for him to say something.

He sighed as she came into clearer focus, her smile crossing her entire face.  He immediately felt at peace seeing her.  For just a second, his body ceased to hurt.  Squall realized in that moment that he had never loved anyone so much in his life.  He mustered a small smile.

“J-Jane…”  He squeezed her hand.  “I…love you.”

The young woman beamed as she leaned in and kissed his cracked lips.  “Welcome back, Leonhart.”  She sat back in her chair, never letting go of his hand.  “How do you feel?”

Squall closed his eyes for a moment.  He felt terrible.  He hadn’t been in this much pain for a long time—or maybe ever.  His eyes opened once again, his gaze falling on the petite woman in front of him.  “Everything hurts.”  A tear rolled down his cheek, surprising him. 

Jane appeared concerned.  “I’ll get the nurse.  She’ll help you.”  She tried to let go of his hand, but Squall wasn’t having it.  He didn’t want her to leave, even for a second. He tightened his grip.

“Please don’t go.”

She pressed her fingertips into his palm.  “I’ll be right back, I promise.  The nurse will bring you the good stuff.”  She quirked a smile as she pried her fingers from his hand.

 He watched her go with lazy eyes, noticing that his left didn’t quite follow his right.  He blinked a few times as rapidly as he could to see if the feeling would abate.  Squall tried to look around the room in an attempt to get his eyes to move together.  At first, they didn’t obey, making him see double.  As he scanned the room, his left eye slowly began to follow its counterpart, finally syncing up and working in unison as they should.  He began to see much clearer.  Squall brought his right hand up close to his face in order to test his centering ability and noticed that Griever was missing.

_Where’s my ring?_

He turned his head to the door as Jane and the nurse returned, the older woman coming to a stop at his left side.  She raised the head of the bed slightly.

“Good afternoon, Mister Leonhart.  Your fiancée tells me that you’re hurting.  I’ll fix that, alright?”

Squall didn’t care about the pain in that moment.  All he wanted was his ring.  “Griever.  Where’s Griever?” 

The nurse looked confused, and was about to respond when Jane touched his cheek to get his attention.  “Laguna has it, don’t worry.”  She reached into her collar and pulled out a silver chain.  “And I have your pendant.” 

Squall was relieved.  He didn’t know why he had reacted so strongly about the two pieces being missing.  Perhaps it was all the drugs mucking up his system. 

“Mister Leonhart, I need you to follow my fingers, alright?  I just want to test your eyes.” 

Squall nodded.  The nurse moved her finger back and forth slowly, and then smiled.  “Everything’s great.  The eye thing seems to have resolved itself.”

_Eye thing?  What’s wrong with my eye?_

Squall frowned.  “Is there…something wrong with my eyes?”

The nurse patted him on the shoulder.  “Nope.  There was some concern after you came to the first time because your left eye wasn’t tracking along with your right.  But everything is peachy now.” 

“You hear that, Leonhart?  Peachy.”  Jane giggled.

Squall shifted his body slightly in the bed, his stiff muscles crying out in protest.  He winced and decided to stop.

“So, tell me where it hurts.”  The nurse waited for his response.

_Everywhere._

Squall sighed.  “There isn’t anywhere that doesn’t hurt.”  The nurse asked him to elaborate.  “My neck, the left side of my chest, my stomach, my throat…”

She held up a hand to stop him.  “Worst pain of your life or tolerable?”

Squall hated feeling this weak.  He never liked to admit when he was hurting.  But, the growing, gnawing pain flowing through his entire body made his choice much easier.  “It’s…pretty bad.”

The nurse nodded.  “Well then, let’s see if we can’t change that.  I’ll be right back with something you’re really going to love.”  She smiled and winked. 

Squall watched her go, then trained his gaze on Jane.  He reached his hand out to her, which she took in her own and stroked with her thumb.  He licked his dry lips and swallowed hard.  His throat felt as if it were coated in sandpaper. 

“You want some water?”

He nodded.  Jane grabbed for a small cup at the bedside and held the straw to his lips.  He allowed the cool liquid to stream down his throat, quelling the burning instantly.  “Thank you.”  He allowed his head to roll to the side to look at her.  “How long have I been out?”

Jane replaced the cup to the side of the bed.  “Three days.”

“How bad was I injured, Jane?”

She adjusted her glasses, then took his hand in both of hers.  “You were shot twice.  The doctors had to remove your spleen in the ER because you were bleeding out from it.  The chest tube that’s there now is because you had a pneumothorax.  You know what that is, right?”

Squall moved his head to the side and bent his neck awkwardly to stare at the heavy tubing emanating from his ribcage.  He nodded.  “Yeah, I remember it from basic medical training.  Air in the chest cavity.”

“You stopped breathing in Laguna’s office.  He and Kiros did CPR until the medics came.”  She lowered eyes.  “He said he had never been so terrified in his life.”

_He’s not the only one._

Squall sighed and turned his attention back to his fiancée.  “Where is he?  And Raine?”  He watched as she frowned. 

“They’re…at home.  Laguna left to get a new change of clothes and something to eat.  Raine, uh…”  Her face grimaced as she tried to find her words.  “She’s…worried about you.”  Her voice was very quiet.

Squall sensed the caution in her tone.  His memory of that morning was still very foggy, and he didn’t know if the vision of Raine he had had while coming around had any bearing on the events.  Something in his mind was telling him that was the case, but his mental state was far from coherent at the moment and he didn’t know what to trust from his consciousness.  He didn’t want to believe that Raine had anything to do with his injuries. 

Waves of pain were flowing through his body, making him unable to form the questions he wanted to pose to Jane.  He desperately wanted to know more about what had happened:  who the suspect was, more about his injuries, but the throbbing in his core was making any rational thoughts almost impossible.  It was taking over his person, and all he could concentrate on was when that damn nurse would be back with the drugs.

He forced himself to nod gently to acknowledge that he had heard Jane, then screwed his eyes shut as the agony of waning medications began to take stronger hold of him.  His breathing became short as he tried to focus on anything that would take the discomfort away.  He cracked his eyes open and trained them on the young woman next to him, taking in every detail of her concern-laden face. 

She ran her fingers through his hair, her soothing voice floating in his brain.  “Hang on, Squall.  She’ll be back any second now with the medicine.” 

His chest and abdomen burned, especially at the surgical site where the staples were holding his skin together.   He willed himself to stay calm as wave after wave of anguish threatened to do him in.  He was almost unaware as the nurse came back and hooked a new medication to the IV pump. 

“Give it a minute to kick in.”

His fingers were trembling as he tried to maintain his grip on Jane’s hand.  He had never felt anything like this before.  Sure, he had been shot in the past, had endured several broken bones and had more scars than he would care to comment on, but this pain was new.  It was unrelenting and ferocious, seemingly unwilling to relinquish its hold on him.

Then, when he thought that he was at the threshold of losing consciousness from the pain, the most wonderful sensation began to wash over him.  Starting in his neck, the pain began to dissipate.  The almost euphoric feeling migrated down his torso, where he could no longer feel the invasion of the chest tube.  His arms felt as if they were floating off the bed and he had to look down momentarily to confirm that they weren’t.   The ecstasy of the narcotics moved down his legs and finally even to his toes. 

He exhaled deeply.  If he were a religious man, he would have thanked Hyne in that instant for sparing him from the agony that almost consumed him. 

“He’s going to be a very happy boy for the next few hours.  Probably sleepy, too.” 

Jane leaned forward and lightly tapped his cheek.  “Hey, Leonhart?  You still in there?”

Squall’s eyes rolled around in his head and he fought to keep them from closing.  He tried to speak, and he hoped he was going to make sense.  His voice sounded very strange in his muddled ears.

“Oh yeah…s-still here.  I can see how…people get addicted to this shit.”  His words were slurring.

Jane giggled.  “You’re drunk, Leonhart.” 

Squall smiled.  “This is _way better_ than being drunk.”  He felt his fingers loosen from her hand, although he was reasonably confident that he hadn’t wanted them to.  As he slipped away from the waking world, back into the void of his scrambled mind via the drugs coursing through his veins, he hoped just for a moment that when he returned he would get some answers.

To what, he hadn’t the slightest clue.  He was too busy to think about that right now.  The Moogle dancing in front of his hallucinating eyes was much too entertaining.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“Come on, guys.  I don’t have a lot of time so you all need to take your seats.”

Samantha Jorden scolded the press pool.  Sometimes she thought they acted like children.  At the sound of her stern voice, they all scurried to their seats and trained their eyes on her anxiously. 

“Commander Leonhart has regained consciousness and is breathing on his own.  He remains in the surgical ICU and is resting comfortably.  I’m hoping to have another update by tomorrow morning.”  She shifted her weight and stared out into the crowd.  “The investigation is continuing and moving swiftly.  The suspect’s name is still being withheld at this time as the police are still working.  As always, no questions about the investigation will be answered by this office or the precinct.  I will take questions this time, but only about Commander Leonhart, not pertaining to the police business, understood?”  She gave the reporters a stern warning glance.

_“Is Commander Leonhart talking?  What does he remember?”_

“His memory of the event is very foggy from the pain medications he is receiving.  He hasn’t said much.”

_“The President and First Lady must be overjoyed that he’s awake.  Have they been at the hospital this whole time?”_

She needed to choose her words carefully. “They are both relieved that their son seems to be coming out of danger.  Commander Leonhart has had a few visitors, and his family has been at his side.” 

_“Have either Ambassadors Seagill or Zabac visited?  Ambassador Seagill is usually very outspoken on palace matters.  Has he anything to say?  Is he assisting in the investigation?”_

Samantha scowled.  She had hoped she could get through this conference without having to field questions about the police.  “I thought I told you guys not to ask about the investigation.  The only thing I am at liberty to divulge about the inquiry is that it is ongoing and is utilizing a large portion of the police force.  And that includes Ambassador Seagill, who has graciously offered his services.  As for them visiting, yes they have.”

_“How is Commander Leonhart’s girlfriend holding up?  My E-Garden sources tell me that she has a substitute handling her classes.”_

“Miss Rylos is holding her own.  She and the President have been alternating their time at the Commander’s side.  Garden has been very understanding during this ordeal and has been more than willing to assist Instructor Rylos and the Loire family with anything they might need, including covering her classes until she is able to return. I ask that you refrain from trying to contact Garden for any information pertaining to her or the Commander. 

_“When will the President be back to work?  Isn’t the Trabian Ambassador returning to continue the trade talks later in the week?”_

“The Trabians have been most gracious and have postponed the talks.  They understand how important family is to President Loire, and just want the best for Commander Leonhart’s recovery.  One more question.”

_“Two part question here, Sam.  When will the Commander be released from the hospital, and is he or the President planning on giving us a statement at some time?”_

 “The Commander is still listed in guarded condition; don’t let the fact that he’s awake fool you.   While his condition is improving, he’s nowhere near out of the woods yet.  He has a long recovery ahead of him.  I don’t have any information as to when he will be sent home.  As for a statement, that is for them both to decide, and if they do, you know I’ll let you all know immediately.”  She shuffled her notecards.  “Now, I want to thank you guys for being so respectful of the family during this whole ordeal.  It makes me proud to be associated with all of you that everyone has stayed away from the hospital. Hats off to you all.”  She smiled sincerely and walked into her office.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

The new television from X lasted all of twenty-six seconds after the newscast ended. 

The remnants of the plastic housing were scattered on the carpet, hundreds of shards embedded in the filthy shag fabric.  The screen had been shattered, sending crystalline shrapnel to all corners of the room. The remains of the coffee mug that had been rocketed into it now sat on the floor in front of the TV stand.

Ash stood trembling and red-faced, not willing to believe the information that had just infiltrated his brain.  He seethed with fury, curling his fists until his knuckles turned white.

Not only was Squall Leonhart very much alive, but it seemed as though he was on his way to recovery.  Laguna wasn’t a wreck, hanging from the balconies high above the streets of Esthar while a frantic Ellone tried to talk him down.  And to add insult to injury, still nothing had been said about the shooter.  

_Goddammit, all she had to do was shoot him in the head!  He’d be buried by now and Laguna would be broken!  Raine would be in prison and the whole family would be in shambles!_

He began chew on his nails as paced the living room, his shoes kicking up dust from the aging carpet.  With the mention of Seagill’s name, his brain immediately went into overdrive.  The Ambassador was working with the police, and that could spell certain doom for Ash if he were to find anything that he left behind.  The fact that there was still no information of any kind being released about the investigation made Ash’s paranoia rise tenfold.  He was suddenly very much afraid of being found out. Ash wracked his brain, trying to go over every detail of the crime scene he had so carefully constructed back at the genetics lab, making sure that he didn’t leave anything that could incriminate him—or more importantly—make the pain-in-the-ass  Ambassador suspect he was still alive. 

If anyone would be able to figure out his plan, it would be Seagill. 

And it terrified him.

His brow was dripping with sweat, from both fury and fear.  For the first time since he left Raine, he was feeling afraid.  His eyes began to dart around the room that was suddenly closing in on him.  His breath was labored and before he knew it, he had collapsed onto his knees.  Waves of terror washed over him.

_There was nothing left behind.  You burned the tarp, and the photos of Laguna.  Your laptop was smashed to bits. The body was unrecognizable._

The body. 

Ash closed his eyes and tried to remember the features of the corpse.  The face had been obliterated.  He had dressed it in his own clothes.  There was nothing that could make them suspect that it wasn’t him, was there?  He sat back on his feet, craning his neck up to the ceiling where he focused his eyes on a disgusting stain on the plaster.  For a long moment he sat, mentally telling himself that he had nothing to worry about, other than how he was going to proceed now that the plan had been altered.  A surge of contentment passed over him and he took a deep breath.  He couldn’t think of anything that would tie him to the…

_Oh Hyne.  Fingerprints._

Ash’s body shot erect, and he promptly vomited on his shoes.  How could he have been so stupid?  The one thing that could actually prove that the body wasn’t his, and he had overlooked it.  He swiped his hand across his face, pulling the skin taught.  His whole body felt as if it were floating as he tried to catch his breath.  

Everything he had worked so hard for was now in jeopardy.  And all because of fucking fingerprints.  Kiros Seagill was an intelligent—no, brilliant—man, and he wouldn’t miss something like that.  Thought started running rampant in his brain, all melding into one incoherent mass.

_The Medical Examiner would fingerprint the body first.  They might already know that it wasn’t him.  They’d try and locate him, bother anyone that had ever known him, exhausting every avenue until they found him.  He’d go to prison.  He’d be executed._

_And Squall Leonhart would still be alive._

_Laguna Loire would be the same damn goofball he had always been, not the trembling shell of a man Ash had hoped he would become after the murder of his only child at the hands of his wife._

_They would all still be together._

_Alive._

He stood, his lungs burning with the onset of hyperventilation.  Saliva dripped from the corners of his mouth, along with the remnants of the vomit that had been spewed to the floor moments earlier.  He felt an overwhelming sense of terror wash over him, coupled with extreme anger.  He clenched his teeth against his lower lip, causing one of his incisors to puncture the thin skin and draw blood.

He wobbled into the bedroom, not really sure why he was there.  Nothing seemed real anymore.  His plan had failed and there was a good chance that the authorities would come looking for him.  With Seagill on the case and Leonhart starting to recover, that meant the young man might begin to be able to help with the investigation. 

Then there would be nothing to save him.

Leonhart was a genius, and not just in the military scene.  His intelligence was legendary and if the two men were working together it would be just a matter of time until he was brought into custody. 

Ash’s eyes darted around the room, even though he didn’t know if he was actually looking for something or not.  The area seemed to be slowly becoming enveloped in a gray fog.  Without control of his body, he made his way to the dingy wall, stained with who-knows-what.  He slammed his forehead into the moldering wooden planks.  Almost immediately he felt the sting of splinters jamming into his skin.  Again and again, he smashed, forcing the wooden pieces to break more and embed in his head.  The sensation of blood trickling down his nose and cheeks soon followed.

Ash didn’t care.  Nothing mattered.  He had failed.

Over and over again, he rammed his head into the wall, his anger, frustration and creeping paranoia getting the better of him.  He banged harder, making stars appear in front of his eyes.  With every slam, he cursed the Loire family.  Cursed Raine.  Cursed his own stupidity.

The last thing he could recall before losing consciousness from the impacts was a hazy image of Raine as she told him to go to hell that night at the lab. 

Tears stung his eyes as they fluttered shut and he fell to the floor.

Hell was where he belonged. 

He only hoped he could take the whole damn Loire clan with him.


	57. Phoenix:  Chapter Fifty-six

Phoenix:  Chapter Fifty-six

                “Alright, Mister Leonhart.  Just take a deep breath and hold it while I pull the tube out.”

Squall clenched his teeth and squeezed the small hand enclosed in his own.  This wasn’t going to feel good.  He could think of about a hundred things he would rather be doing at this very moment, including watching Zell eat.  And that was enough to make anyone want to run screaming.  But the promise of relief from the pressure in his chest kept him in the moment, and he knew it would be over soon.

“Okay, here we go.”  He felt the nurse clip the sutures holding the chest tube in place as he inhaled deeply.  And before he knew it, the tube was out, removed in one fluid movement.  Immediately, the incredible pressure in his left flank was gone.  It had been uncomfortable, and it had taken everything in his power not to scream, but he had made it through. 

The nurse held a large square of gauze over the open wound left in the tubing’s wake for a moment before moving it to inspect the area.  “Looks good.  The hole is small enough that it doesn’t require any stitches.  I’m just going to dress it and we’ll let it heal on its own.”  She smiled.

Squall sighed with relief.  Jane stood by his side, never letting go of his hand.  He hoped he hadn’t squeezed it too hard while the nurse was doing the procedure.  When the woman was done, she raised the head of the bed so the young Commander could finally sit up more.  She then retrieved a hospital gown from a drawer in the cart and eased Squall forward to help him put it on, threading the wires from the various monitors through the sleeves and collar.  Jane fluffed a pillow and carefully slid it behind him as he eased himself back.

“Your last x-ray looked great and that’s why we elected to take out the chest tube.  The techs will come back later today and re-do the scan.  If the pneumothorax starts to show its ugly head again, or you have trouble breathing, there’s a chance the tube might have to be replaced.”

Squall gingerly touched the side of his neck.  “What about this thing?”

The nurse swatted his hand away.  “Probably another day or so.  You’re still requiring quite a bit of medications to regulate your blood pressure and heart functions.  We’ll start dialing them back today and see how you do.  If you can keep your vitals steady without them, we can think about it.”

Squall saw Jane frown.  He rubbed his thumb across the top of her hand reassuringly.  “Hey, don’t worry.  I’m sure everything will be okay.”  He winked.  “I’m tough.”

The nurse finished her work and left the couple alone.  Squall closed his eyes for a moment, wincing when he inhaled too deep.  He was going to have to make an effort to remind himself to take it slow.  He opened his eyes with the soft touch of Jane’s fingertips on his cheek.

“Feel better?”  Her eyes sparkled behind her glasses.

“Mmm-hmm.”  He settled down into the bend of the bed and turned his head to stare at her.  After everything that he had been through in the past week, just her being there took his breath away.  He realized in that moment just how committed she was to him, to stay by his side through the worst time in their lives.  He never wanted her to be away from him again.  “How are you doing?  This all must have been…horrible.  I’m sorry I scared you.”

Jane exhaled slowly and lowered her head.  “I was fucking terrified, Leonhart.  I thought I was going to lose you.  And I didn’t like that idea.  Living without you is something that I never want to have to think about.”  She cocked her head and met his gaze.  “But you’re getting better by the minute and we’ll be home before you know it.”

Squall nodded and closed his eyes, closing his strong fingers around Jane’s tiny hand.  “Home sounds nice.  This bed is really uncomfortable.”  He shifted his weight, wincing at the stabbing pain in his abdomen that accompanied the movement.  He was quiet for a long moment, not sure if he wanted to ask his next question.  He was afraid of being correct.

“Jane?  Tell me what happened.  Who shot me?”  His steely eyes were trained on her as the color drained from her face.  She bit her bottom lip and looked away from him.  “What’s wrong?”

She began to bounce her knees, a sure sign that she was nervous.  She took a deep breath.  “I think it’s better if Laguna tells you.  I mean, he was there…I wasn’t.”

Squall sensed anxiety in her tone.  She definitely didn’t want to talk about the subject.  His mind wandered back to his fuzzy thoughts as he was coming out of sedation.  To the image of Raine.  The loud bangs. 

“It was her, wasn’t it?”

Jane’s lower lip began to tremble.  “I…I don’t think it’s my place to talk about it, Squall.  I’m sorry.”  She hung her head, tears falling to her jeans.  “Laguna will be back any minute.”

He turned his head away from her to stare out the window.  He didn’t want to be upset with her, but dammit he wanted to know what had happened to him.  He turned back to face her at the sound of her quiet crying.  Whatever had happened was consuming her.  He rubbed his thumb against her palm.  “Jane please don’t cry.  You don’t have to say anything.  Really.” 

As if on cue, Laguna burst through the door, huge smile on his face.  “Hey guys!  How’s the patient feelin’?”  His grin waned when he noticed Jane crying.  He laid a soothing hand on her shoulder.  “What’s goin’ on?”

Jane stood and leaned in close to Squall, kissing him lightly on the lips.  “It’s nothing, Laguna.  I’ll leave you two alone. You have a lot to talk about.  I’ll be back later, okay?”

Squall reached up and caressed her cheek.  “Okay.  I love you, Jane.”

Jane smiled affectionately.  “Right back at ya, Leonhart.”  She hugged Laguna and hurried out the door, leaving father and son alone.

Laguna sat, patting Squall’s calf through the sheets as he did so.  “It’s nice to see you sitting up.”

“It takes the pressure off of my chest.”  

Laguna twiddled his thumbs in his lap.  Squall could tell he was nervous.  He decided just to go for it.

“Laguna I want to know what’s going on.  Why won’t anyone tell me anything?  And where’s Raine?”

Laguna shifted in his seat, making sporadic eye contact with the young man.  “I, uh…man, this is hard.”  He scratched his neck, exhaling deeply.  “Raine’s at home.  She can’t…”

Squall was getting irritated.  And the gnawing throb in his side wasn’t helping his mood.  His brow furrowed and he stared Laguna down.  “I saw something in my mind when I was coming out of sedation.  I saw her.” 

Once again, Laguna looked away from him.  It looked as if the President was trying not to throw up.

 “Tell me the truth, Laguna.”  The young Commander listened to his own voice crack slightly.  “Raine shot me, didn’t she?” 

The older man hung his head, his voice meeker than Squall had ever heard it before.  “Yes.” 

Squall closed his eyes.  He didn’t want to believe that what he had seen in his visions had been true.  He desperately wanted it to have been a hallucination, some drug-induced flash of insanity.  He couldn’t wrap his foggy mind around his answer. 

_I was right to have been suspicious._

_Stop it, Leonhart.  She’s your mother.  There has to be an explanation._

_Mother._

It was the first time he could recall actually thinking of Raine in that light.  And it made the situation a thousand times worse.  If they hadn’t become as close as they had been, it would have been easier for Squall to disconnect, to look at everything analytically.  But because he actually had real feelings for her now—even though they were confusing and foreign—he didn’t know how to react. 

The two men sat silently for a long moment.  Finally, Laguna’s voice croaked through the deafening silence.  “It’s not what you think, son.”

Squall cocked an eyebrow.  “Not what I’d think?  How can you possibly know what I’m thinking?” 

Laguna blew out a long breath and stood, shoving his hands in his pockets.  He walked towards the window and stared out at the city.  “S-sorry.  I guess I don’t really know how to approach the subject.”  He turned to face Squall, his eyes wet.  “You have to believe me.  It wasn’t _her_ , son.  She was brainwashed.”

Squall had to fight the urge to laugh.  That may have been the lamest, most far-fetched explanation he had ever heard in his life.  He was just about to speak when Laguna cut him off. 

“Listen to me.  Kiros figured it out.  It was Ash.”

Confused, Squall shook his head.  “Ash?  Laguna, he’s dead.” 

Laguna sighed.  “Just hear me out, alright?  I promise it will make sense.”  He cast his eyes down.  “I hope.”

Squall settled into the bed and rested his hands on his abdomen, careful of the tender surgical site.  “Enlighten me.”

Laguna turned back to the window.  “Kiros had been looking over Ash’s files for weeks after Raine came back to us.  You know, to prove you right, I guess.”  He looked back over his shoulder with a small frown.  “Anyway, after you were shot, he started digging again. He found all sorts of stuff that he hadn’t gotten to yet.  Ash was _crazy_ , son.  I mean, like, bat-shit insane. He was ranting and raving about me and your mother, feeling sorry for himself because he couldn’t have her.”

“Raving?” 

“She didn’t reciprocate his advances and he started to resent her.  Even though she thought I was dead, her heart still belonged to me.  And he didn’t like it.  He wrote all kinds of stuff in his notes, about ‘getting me’ and that I had better watch out.”

“That still doesn’t help me understand Kiros’ theory.”

“I’m getting to that.  Your mom got a box in the mail the morning you were shot. The police found it in our apartment.”

“A box?  Is that where she got the weapon?”

“Yeah. There was a gun case inside, with a letter.  Kiros thinks it got past security because David is on leave and it looked as though a kid addressed it.”

“A letter?”

“Yeah.  It had been written ransom-style, you know, all cut-outs from magazines and stuff.”  Laguna tapped his fingertips on the windowsill.  “It said, ‘We are waiting for the manager to give us passage.’”

Squall shifted in the bed.  “What the hell does that mean?”

“Apparently, Raine had a dream decades ago and that phrase was part of it.  Kiros had noticed it in Ash’s notes the first time he looked, but didn’t think anything of it.  Until a few days ago.  He kinda took over the investigation after the damn police dropped the ball.”  Laguna chuckled nervously.

Squall frowned as his still-foggy mind tried to process all this information.  When people were brainwashed there was usually some sort of phrase to start initiate the mission that had been embedded into the psyche. “The trigger?”  He saw Laguna’s eyes light up.

“Exactly!  Kiros thinks that when Raine saw the letter, with that message on it, she…”  Laguna was obviously trying to find the right words.  He was waving his hands in the air as he thought.  “…it was like the switch got turned on, you know?”

Squall sighed.  He knew that brainwashing was an actual anomaly, but doubted the fact that it could be used so precisely.  “Alright, let’s say she really was brainwashed.  How did he do it?”

Laguna pulled up a chair and sat.  He rested his hands on his thighs.  “Your mom was having terrible nightmares at the lab.  For years.  He gave her a little ear-thingy that he told her had soothing sounds on it.  You know, to help her sleep.”  He exhaled deeply.  “Kiros had it analyzed.  It contained way more than music and birds chirping.”

“What did it say, Laguna?”

Laguna locked eyes with his son.  “It instructed her to kill you.”  His voice was almost a whisper.  “That trigger phrase was there too.”

The two men sat silently for a moment as Squall let the information sink in. 

_Of course.  Subliminal messaging was a perfect and nearly undetectable way to brainwash someone.  She never even knew what was happening._

Suddenly Squall felt very angry.  Raine had been used.  “Why would Ash do something like that?”

“He was in love with her, son.  For years.  She rejected him and Kiros thinks that it sent him on a very horrible path.”

“That doesn’t seem like a good reason to make her kill me.  If anything, you’d think he would have instructed her to take you out.”

Laguna nodded in agreement.  “This story just gets deeper and deeper, kid.  Apparently Ash received a letter years ago.  It was made to look like I had sent it, banishing him from the scientific community for unethical experiments.  But in reality, it came from Odine.”

Squall looked at the man as if Grats were coming out of his ears.  “Odine?  I thought that rat wanted to distance himself as much as possible from Ash.  Why make contact?”

“He didn’t…kinda.  Remember, he sent the letter pretending to be me.  Kiros figures it was a way for Odine to rid himself once and for all of Ash.  But he didn’t think it would have such a profound outcome.  Kiros thinks it sent Ash over the edge.  He thought I had done this, and vowed revenge on me.”  Laguna shook his head.  “Raine didn’t love him; he knew that he never had a chance with her.  He started to hate her for it and went mental.  She might not have known I was alive, but he sure as hell did.  What better way to get back at her for snubbing him than to hurt her? And me.  Killing you would have crushed us both.”

Squall leaned his head back on his pillows and stared at the ceiling.  He took a deep breath, instantly regretting it as a sharp pain tore through his chest.  He slowly exhaled, closing his eyes.  The pain subsided as his body calmed.

_Ash.  He’s lucky he’s dead.  Lionheart would have looked really great embedded in his back._

_It’s ironic how he wasn’t even able to see his plan unfold.  To work that hard only to have everything blow up in his face with Raine.  And to top it off, be killed right before he was going to send her home._

_Wait a minute…that seems too perfect.  And who sent the gun?_

_Holy shit._

“Laguna?  I don’t think Ash is dead.”

A smirk crossed the older man’s lips.  “Boy, you don’t miss anything, do you?   Not even when you’re hopped up on goofballs.” 

Squall tried to sit himself up more, groaning as his weak arm muscles protested under the weight of his body.  Laguna rose and offered his support, grabbing him gently under the arms and easing him into a more comfortable position.  “I’m guessing Kiros thinks the same thing.”

Laguna nodded.  “He doesn’t just think it, Squall.  He has proof.”

Squall raised an eyebrow.  “Proof?”

Laguna settled back into his chair.  “After Kiros figured out all the crap about the earpiece and brainwashing, he said it was like a light went off above his head. Ward said he practically jumped into his arms, he was so excited. Kiros figures that Ash had this planned for years…to watch from the shadows as our lives exploded.”

Squall arched an eyebrow.  “I think you mean ‘imploded.’” 

“Okay, imploded.  You get it though, right?”

Squall nodded slowly.  “It makes sense.  Faking his death, allowing Raine to go back to her family under the guise of renewal, only to have his plans waiting in depths of her mind…like a parasite.”  He shuddered at the thought.  “So, what’s Kiros’ proof?  I’m assuming whatever it is was enough to convince the Chief to let Raine out of custody.”

Laguna sighed heavily.  “Yeah, well that and I had to pay out my ass to have her released.  And she’s being monitored with an ankle bracelet.  That’s why she can’t come see you.”  Laguna’s eyes got back their hopeful glint.  “Kiros got suspicious that the medical examiner’s report had come out so soon and was so straightforward.  I mean, I didn’t see the body but from what he told me it was pulverized.  Like, face stew.”  He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“Thank you for the vivid description, Laguna.”

A childish grin crossed his lips.  “No problem.  Anyway, it was so bad that the asshole coroner just assumed it was him because he was wearing Ash’s clothes and glasses.  Turns out they fucked up big time.”

“No one bothered to fingerprint the body?”

Laguna shook his head.  “Nope.  Not until Kiros demanded it.  Needless to say, the Medical Examiner is no longer employed in this fine city.”  The president puffed his chest out with pride.  “Fired him myself.  And it felt damn good.”

Squall furrowed his brows.  “So who was it then?”

“Some convict from D-District.  That Warden’s as corrupt as they come.  Of course, no one will cop to anything over there, but we know it was him.”

Squall marveled at the sheer thought and planning that would have gone into such a detailed plot.  Surely he had been working on this for years.  In another circumstance, he would have actually been quite impressed at the sheer grandeur of it all. 

Laguna continued, “Kiros thinks he’s hiding somewhere.   You know, watching the news reports.  He doesn’t have a clue as to where, though.  We’re kinda stuck at this point.”

Squall suddenly found himself wanting to run from the hospital and find Ash so he could tear his arms off personally.  Rage he hadn’t felt in a long time—not since Seifer—began to well up within him.  Knowing that Ash was out there somewhere, just waiting to see their family destroyed, made him seethe.  He just hoped that when the police found the bastard, he would have the control not to kill him where he stood. 

Not at first, anyway.

Laguna sighed. “Well, aren’t you going to say it?  I know you want to.”

“Say what?”  Squall was confused by the older man’s abrupt change in mood.

“’I told you so.’”

Squall frowned.  Was that really what Laguna had expected from him?  He felt his frown deepen.  With all this new information brought into the light, being right didn’t mean anything.  Yes, she had been used.  And betrayed—they all had.  But none of it was her fault, or Laguna’s. 

“No.”

Laguna recoiled slightly with surprise.  “Why not?  I didn’t listen to you in the beginning and look where it got our whole family. I deserve it.”  He looked down at his twiddling thumbs in his lap.

Squall was silent for a moment.  “No you don’t.  None of us do.”  Squall felt the ache in his side begin to rear its head once more. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a few not-too-deep cleansing breaths to help ease the growing pain.  Laguna sat patiently.  After a few moments, Squall opened his eyes again.  He looked to his father, who seemed relieved he wasn’t being blamed by the young man.

 “What does Raine think of all this?”

Laguna’s face softened.  “She’s heartbroken.  It makes her physically ill thinking about how she was used.  Even though she believes everything about Kiros’ idea, she still can’t get her head around what she’s done.  I don’t know if she will ever be able to, really.  I mean, you’re her baby.  She loves you more than you could ever know.”  He leaned forward and clasped his hands in his lap.  “Look, kid, I know you must be furious with her right now, but you have to think rationally.  She didn’t do this.  She…”

Squall held up his hand.  “I’m not mad at her.  I know she isn’t at fault.”

Laguna sat with his mouth agape.  “R-really?”  He exhaled deeply as Squall met his gaze and nodded.  “You don’t know how relieved I am to hear that. Deep inside I knew that you would understand, but part of me was still worried that you wouldn’t react well to the news.  Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Laguna.  I know a logical theory when I see one, and Kiros’ evidence is more than enough to make a convincing case.  We just need to find Ash to end this once and for all.”  He leaned his head back into the soft pillows, trying to ignore the ache that was beginning to return to his core.  He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to calm his body in an attempt to control his pain without medications.  His thoughts drifted to Raine.  He started to imagine her all alone in their apartment, distraught over her actions.  He couldn’t even imagine what it must feel like to know that your child was injured critically at your own hands.  He cracked his eyes open to look at his father.  “She shouldn’t blame herself.  She did nothing wrong.”

Laguna lowered his head and stared at his shoes.  “She knows that.  She hates Ash as much as we all do, probably more.  But deep down I know it’s eating her alive.  And the fact that she can’t come see you and tell you herself just how sorry she is, well, it’s breaking her.”

Squall sighed.  He still wasn’t used to feeling so strongly for someone other than Jane or Ellone, and was having trouble relating to his new emotions.  He didn’t like the fact that Raine was hurting.  “Laguna.  I want you to tell her that I don’t blame her.  That I…forgive her.”

Laguna smiled softly.  “I think you should tell her that yourself.”

“I think she needs to know right away.  I’ll get the chance to speak with her personally when I get out of the hospital, but right now she needs that reassurance.  It might help her to recover.”

Laguna nodded.  “You’re right.  Listen, she’d be here if she could.  She asks me constantly all day how you are.  She…”  The President cast his eyes to the side, breaking contact with Squall’s.  “…she asked me to take some pictures of you.  You know, when you were out.”

Squall scowled.  He didn’t know if he liked the idea of having been photographed in such a terrible state.  Strangely though, he thought he might want to see the photos.  Morbid curiosity was getting the better of him.

“Pictures?  Why?”

“She wanted to see what she had done.  She said she never wanted to forget…that it needed to be seared into her brain as punishment.” 

Squall looked down at his hands in his lap, picking at the design on his ring.  “She doesn’t deserve any penance.  She’s _not_ a fault.”  He knew he was repeating himself, but it seemed like the more he said that she wasn’t to blame, the easier it would be to talk about it with her when the time came.  He needed it as much as she would.

“We both know that, Squall.  But you have to remember, she’s dealing with another whole side to this horrible mess.  Her hands are the ones that held that pistol.  Her finger pulled the trigger that put those bullets in your chest.  Even though we all believe Kiros, the fact remains that she shot you.”

The young Commander just nodded silently.  “Laguna? The photos, do you still have them?”

Laguna frowned and answered quietly.  “Yeah.  I suppose you want to see them, huh?”

Truthfully, Squall didn’t know the answer.  He knew it wouldn’t be pretty.  “Maybe.  I don’t know.”  Being indecisive wasn’t something he was used to.  He was frustrated. 

Laguna began to pull out his phone, but Squall held up a hand to stop him.  “Wait.  I…I don’t think I’m ready yet.  Maybe some other time.”  He wanted to see, but at the same time was actually scared about seeing himself so vulnerable. 

“You got it.  Whenever you’re ready, just let me know.”  Laguna flashed him a reassuring smile.  “So, how are you feeling?”

Squall sighed.  The pain was increasing.  “Tired and sore.  I just want to go home.”

Laguna patted his leg through the blanket, eliciting a scowl from the young man.  “Soon, kid.  Jane told me she was going to grill you steaks when you finally get back.  Lucky shit.”  He flashed a sly smirk.

“Is she doing okay, Laguna?  I mean, she told me she was alright, but something’s off about her.  I can’t put my finger on it.  It’s like she’s reluctant to talk to me about things.”

Laguna’s change in demeanor didn’t go unnoticed by his son.  His smile waned and his face turned serious.  “She’s just exhausted.  We’ve all been through a lot.  It will take her a while to recover…for all of us to recover.  We’ve all had the most horrible week, and we all respond differently to pressure, I guess.”

“Yeah, I guess.  It will be nice to get home and just be with her again.”  Squall hesitated on his next question, both from nerves and increasing discomfort from his surgical incision.  “Did she tell you our surprise?”

Laguna’s eyes widened.  “I saw it firsthand.  You picked out quite a rock, kid.  I’m impressed.” 

“We were going to tell you both over dinner, but I guess plans changed.” 

Laguna beamed.  “I couldn’t be happier for you two.  It’s the most wonderful news.  Now you just have to get well so you can plan a wedding and get ready for the…”  Laguna stopped himself.

Squall quirked an eyebrow.  “Get ready for the what?”

Laguna waved his hands in the air, as of to clear away his words.  “Nothing.  Just wedding plans.  Guess I was repeatin’ myself.  You know how I get when I’m excited.”

It seemed to Squall that the older man was trying to hide something, but the dull throb in his chest and abdomen was beginning to deepen.  All this talk about Kiros’ theory and Raine had mentally and physically exhausted him.  He didn’t have the energy to confront Laguna on his slip of words.  He screwed his eyes shut as a wave of pain flooded over him, intensifying tenfold in mere seconds.

“You okay?  You want me to get the nurse?”  Laguna’s voice was laced with concern.

Squall sighed, cracking his eyes open slightly to look at his father.  “N-no.  I’ll be alright.”  He inhaled a sharp breath as he shifted his weight, a white-hot pain erupting from his left flank.

“Don’t be a hero, kid.  You only get the good drugs while you’re here.”

Squall didn’t want to rely on pain medications forever.  He was trying to get his body to cope without them.  Another singeing pain from his surgical site though, and he changed his mind.  “Okay, go get her.”

Laguna smiled softly and patted Squall’s hand.  “Be right back.”

Squall lay motionless, telling himself that if he didn’t move, the pain wouldn’t come back.  He almost believed himself, until he had to take a breath.  As his lungs filled with air, his chest expanded, and a flood of pain consumed him.   He grunted as he exhaled, wishing he didn’t have to breathe.  He tightened his hands into a fist, the nails cutting into his palms, hoping to focus the pain away from his torso.  It was a technique he had learned at Garden, when they were being taught how to cope with torture.  He had only had to use it one other time, at D-District Prison when he was being interrogated by Seifer.  It worked, if only for a moment.  His brain forced him to take another breath and the anguish was back. 

“The candy lady’s here!”  Squall cracked his eyes open to see the smiling face of the nurse.  He could see a large syringe in her hand.  Her face suddenly turned into a frown.  “Ooh, you’ve got the ‘pain face.’  Let me fix that, okay sweetheart?”

All Squall could muster was a tiny nod.  Nausea started to creep up on him as the pain increased. He hoped he wouldn’t throw up.  Not only did he loathe vomiting, he was worried the force would tear stitches.  He turned his head to see the nurse inject the liquid from the hypodermic needle into a small inlet on the IV pump.

“Just a few minutes and you’ll feel much better.”  She patted his shoulder.

Laguna just stood there silently, concern in his eyes.  Squall knew he didn’t like it when he was hurting, and had scolded him many times for keeping injuries and accidents from him. 

A warm sensation began to trickle into Squall’s body, and before he knew it he was enveloped in a wonderful numbness, but somehow different from the previous medications.  His mind still felt quite clear, the pain was just gone.

“Is this something weaker?  I don’t feel like I’m going to float off the bed this time.”

The nurse nodded.  “Not weaker, just different.  It’s still potent, rest assured, but it won’t make you as loopy.”  The nurse punched in a few codes on the pump and handed Squall a small button.  “This is so you can self-administer if you need to.  But don’t get all crazy.  It’ll lock out after two bumps an hour.”

Squall’s body relaxed and he sunk back into his pillows, letting the small device from the nurse rest at his side.  “Thank you.  It really helped.”

“I’ll leave you boys alone now.  No shenanigans, got it?”  She winked playfully.

Laguna gave her the Deling Scouts salute.  “No Ma’am.  Right Squall?”

The young Commander rolled his eyes and snorted. 

Laguna took his seat once again at his son’s right side and slapped his thighs.  “Better?”

Squall just nodded, enjoying his drug-induced euphoria.  He almost didn’t notice Laguna’s face turn solemn.

“You know, I thought I was going to lose you right there in my office.”

Squall turned his head to face him.  Maybe it was the drugs talking, or maybe he had just changed since this whole incident took place, but for the first time in his life, Squall didn’t mind Laguna being emotional in front of him.  He even felt like adding to the conversation.

_What the hell’s wrong with you, Leonhart?  Are you really going to do this?_

Squall swallowed hard and reached for Laguna’s hand, which the President eagerly accepted and squeezed.  He didn’t know if it was for his own comfort or his father’s.  “The last thing I remember is being on the floor.  I knew it was bad when I saw the fear in your eyes.  You were…terrified.”

Laguna looked down at their intertwined hands.  “I was.  I thought you were going to die in my arms.” 

 “I remember struggling to breathe.  It was a horrible feeling, like I was drowning in my own lungs.”  He blew out a long breath.  “It hurt so bad.  I had never felt pain like that.  Ever.”

Laguna began to weep softly.  “I wanted so badly to switch places with you.  It was unbearable watching as you tried to breathe, feeling your blood on my hands.”  The President wiped his eyes on his shirt sleeve.  “When you called me, well…’Dad’ I felt as if my heart had been pulled from my chest.  I know you don’t like to say it a lot, but I was so scared that it was going to be the last time I ever heard it.”

“I was really scared.  I’m…”  Squall hesitated as he tried to force very foreign words from his mouth.  “…I’m glad you were there with me.  I didn’t want to die there, and certainly not in front of you.”

A choked sob escaped Laguna’s lips.  “A father should never have to watch what I watched.  To see your son suffer at your knees and know that you’re helpless to do anything; it’s unbearable.”

“But you weren’t helpless.  You gave me a fighting chance.  If you and Kiros wouldn’t have done CPR, I wouldn’t be here today.”  Squall squeezed Laguna’s hand gently. 

Laguna snorted.  “I felt like the world’s biggest coward.  Kiros had to yell at me to follow his instructions.  It’s him you should be thanking, not me.”

Squall shook his head.  “I can’t even imagine the courage it took to try and save me.  I mean, I’m not a father.”  The young Commander noticed a strange glint in Laguna’s eyes as he mentioned fatherhood.  He shrugged it off as Laguna just being emotional.  “You gave the doctors extra time, and I can never thank you enough.”

Laguna sat forward on his chair.  “Just promise me I’ll never have to do anything like that again, okay?”

Squall mustered a small smile.  “Never again, Laguna.”

Laguna’s eyes lit up.  “Hey, I have something of yours.”  He held up his right hand and slid Griever off.  Gently, he replaced the ring on Squall’s finger.  “I kept it safe.”

The young Commander lifted his hand and watched the silver ring flash in the sunlight coming through the window.  The slight haze of pain medication caused the shining metal to leave a trail of light in the air as he waved his hand back and forth.  “Thanks.  Jane told me you had it.”  He sighed and closed his eyes, pushing his head back into the pillow. 

Laguna patted his hand.  “I’ll let you get some sleep, alright?  Tell you what, I’ll try and smuggle in some of that ice cream you like later.  Whaddya say?” 

Squall cracked his eyes open, a small smile crossing his lips upon seeing the sheer delight on Laguna’s face.  He sure did like to be mischievous.  “Sure.”

Laguna squeezed his son’s fingers firmly before relinquishing his grip.  “I won’t even make you share with me.”  He rose, stretching out his back and neck by reaching his arms high above his head.

“L-Laguna?”  Squall was unsure if he wanted to continue.  “Thank you for being honest with me about what happened, and…”  He inhaled deeply, pleasantly surprised when the usual pain that accompanied such an action was absent.  “…and, well, for just being here.  I know that I don’t tell you a whole hell of a lot, but, I’m glad that you’re my father.  We might have our moments where you annoy the piss out of me, but at the end of the day, I really do…” 

Laguna was uncharacteristically silent, his eyes wet.  A small, hopeful smile made the corners of his mouth turn up.

“…love you.”  His voice was small, and Squall averted his eyes from his father, choosing to look at the seat Laguna had just vacated. 

Laguna let out a short surprised breath and brought his hand to his chest, covering his heart.  “You don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear you say that.”

Squall looked at his father once more.  “I guess it took a life-threatening incident to make me realize what my priorities are.  I’m going to try to be more forthcoming with how I feel.”  He bit his lower lip.  “It’s not going to happen overnight, though.”

Laguna smiled.  “I wouldn’t expect it to.”  He turned and headed towards the door, turning just as he was about to exit.  “Get some rest, son.  I’ll be back with your contraband later.”

The young man watched his father leave, surprised at himself for not feeling totally awkward about baring his soul.  He figured there was something about almost dying that transformed a man.

_Shit, Leonhart.  You’ve sure changed…_

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Ellone walked into the ICU, a small bag tucked into the crook of her arm.  The nurses at the desk all gave her warm smiles as she made her way to the last of the long line of rooms.  As she approached the door, she saw her brother, sleeping peacefully.  Seeing that he was resting, she turned to leave, as to not wake him.  Her arm brushed against the curtain, causing the metal loops to jingle slightly, startling the Commander.

“Elle.”

She remained at the door.  “Hey.  Sorry I woke you.”  She raised the bag.  “I brought you a present.”

Squall shifted himself in the bed and attempted to sit up.  It took him a moment, but he was finally successful.   He motioned to her to come in.  “A present?”

Ellone sat on his right side, plopping the bag on his lap.  “Just a little something for an apology.”

Squall looked at her with confusion.  “Apology?  For what?”

Ellone clasped hands in her lap as Squall opened the sack.  He pulled out the two weapons magazines she had brought, along with a package of his favorite candy.  “Because I haven’t come to visit since you were unconscious.”  She hung her head.  “It was for selfish reasons.  I didn’t want to see my baby brother like that.  I’ve really had a hard time dealing with all this.”

Squall reached out and grasped her hand, squeezing her fingers.  “Don’t be sorry, Sis.  I know this has been tough on everyone.  Truth is, I’m glad you didn’t come back after that first time.  From what Jane and Laguna have said, I looked pretty horrible.”

Ellone sighed.  “Horrible can’t even describe it.  I was terrified.”  She looked down at her shoes.

Squall hated seeing her this way.  “Elle.  Hey, Sis.  Look at me for a second.”  The young woman slowly lifted her head to meet his gaze.  “I’m going to be okay.  You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”

A tiny, relieved smile crossed her lips.  “I know that now.  Speaking of, I see the chest tube is gone.”  She pointed to his side.

“Yeah, thank goodness.  It was really uncomfortable.”  He touched the central line port in his neck.  “The nurses say this will probably come out tomorrow.”

“Any news on when you’ll be released?”

Squall shook his head.  “Nope.”

The two sat quietly for a long moment.  Something had been gnawing at Squall’s mind since he returned to the conscious world.  He had thought he had heard a song while he was unconscious, one from his childhood.  It had been very comforting, even though he didn’t know where it had been coming from of who was producing it at the time.  His drug-laden mind while comatose didn’t make any sense.  It was only when he was coming to, all his senses and thoughts beginning to come back together, that he was able to tie the tune and lyrics to a person in his mind.

“Sis?  I heard you singing, you know.”

Ellone’s eyes bulged.  “You…you _heard_ that?”

Squall nodded.  “I didn’t know what it was at first, it was only after I started to come back that I remembered it.”  He patted her knee.  “I’d like to think that it helped bring me back.”

A tear rolled down Ellone’s cheek.  “The nurses said to keep talking to you, even if it was stupid stuff like reading newspaper headlines or want ads.  I’m glad you remember my song and not Uncle Laguna.”

The young Commander quirked an eyebrow.  “Why?  What did Laguna do?”

Ellone laughed.  “What, you mean you don’t have some subconscious need to go and buy used gym equipment in the lower district?”

Squall rolled his eyes.  “Leave it to him to read me the classifieds.”  His small smile quickly faded.  “Elle?  Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

Squall set the magazines and candy aside.  “Have you been to see Raine?”

Ellone shook her head.  “No, but it’s not like I haven’t tried.  She doesn’t want any visitors.”  She sighed heavily.  “She’s really distraught.  Uncle Laguna said that she even tried to…well, she almost cut her wrist.”

Squall was shocked.  “Suicide?”  The young woman nodded slowly.  “But why?  She knows about Kiros’ theory and the proof that Ash is alive.”

“It was when we weren’t sure if you were coming back to us. I can only imagine that the heartbreak of knowing that you almost took your child’s life, even if you weren’t at fault, is…well, it must be horrible.  She had a moment of hopelessness.  Thankfully, she stopped herself before it was too late.” 

Squall couldn’t believe what had just come out of his sister’s mouth.  Even after all the evidence had been presented to Raine, she still had felt so despondent that she had contemplated taking her own life.  It made Squall feel sick to his stomach.  He also had no idea how to respond to Ellone.  Instead, he shifted uncomfortably in his bed, choosing to look out the window.  Her quiet, soothing voice comforted him.

“I think, day by day, she is getting better.  Raine knows you’re recovering, and Uncle Laguna is trying to help her as much as she’ll let him.  We just have to give her space and time.”  She patted his thigh through the thin blanket.  “And I know when she gets to finally talk with you, it’ll help.  I think you both need it—for closure.”

Squall knew she was right.  And he did want to talk to Raine, to sort everything out between them. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy and that he’d probably want to run away at some point, but in order for life to continue, they would have to face the demons. 

Squall finally spoke.  “When I’m released, I want to see her right away.  Privately.  We have a lot to talk about.”

Ellone smiled warmly.  “Everything will be alright, baby brother.” 

And Squall believed her.


	58. Phoenix:  Chapter Fifty-seven

Phoenix: Chapter Fifty-seven

**Two Days Later**

Laguna liked the regular wing of the hospital much better than the ICU.  It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate all the hard work everyone in the intensive care unit had put in to keep Squall alive all that time, but the new floor was just less hectic.  There wasn’t the constant blare of alarms or doctors rushing past the doors on their way to the next crisis.  Just quiet.  The occasional cough or laugh from one of the neighboring rooms, a nurse poking her head in every now and then.

He strolled down the hallway, smiling politely at the few people who acknowledged him.  He was very grateful that everyone in the hospital had stayed at a respectful distance during this time.  No one asked him for autographs or photos, or inquired about Squall unless he offered.  It felt nice to be able to take care of his son in peace, without any intrusions. 

Now that Squall was well on his way to recovery, he could focus on getting him out of the hospital and back home with the family.

So they could all heal together.

Laguna expected to see Squall in his bed, scowling at the lack of television variety.  Instead, he found him not only standing at the window, but free of any of the IV tubing and monitors.  Dressed casually in a tee shirt and jeans, one would have never known by looking at him that he had been at death’s door not three days ago.

“What are you doing up?  And dressed?”  Laguna strode over to his son and stood beside him, leaning in close to inspect the young man.  His skin was still pale, and he looked exhausted.

“Going home.”

Laguna looked at Squall skeptically.  “Home?  Are you ready for that?  I mean, you’re still really weak.”

Squall scowled at him and rolled his eyes.  “I’m fine.  The doctors say I can do the rest of my recovering at home.”  As he finished his sentence, he swayed and reached out to steady himself on the windowsill. 

Laguna immediately grabbed his bicep and held firm.  “You don’t seem fine.  I don’t know if I agree with the doctors.”  He guided the young man to the edge of the vacant hospital bed and eased him down.  “Maybe you should stay another day, you know, to get stronger.”

“I _told_ you, I’m fine.  I just want to go back to my own apartment and my own bed.  Jane is going to take care of me, and I know that you’ll be hanging around all the time until I’m better.”

Laguna chuckled.  “You got that right.  I plan to annoy the hell out of you.”  His smile softened and slowly disappeared.  “So, I guess this means that you’re going to want to talk to Raine, too, huh?”

Squall inhaled deeply, holding his hand to his tender left side as his lungs expanded.  He blew out the long breath slowly.  “Yes.  After I get settled today.”  He turned to look at Laguna.  “Is she allowed to leave the apartment at all?”

Laguna shook his head.  “Nope.  You’ll have to come over.”

Squall nodded.  “Whatever.” 

The two men sat in silence, staring out at the glistening city for a long moment.  Laguna cherished the time, sitting next to his son.  The fact that he was sitting up at all, and not laying comatose on life support made Laguna inwardly beam.  After all they had been through; sometimes he still couldn’t believe that Squall was alive.  He fought the urge to wrap his arm around the young man’s shoulders.

He turned his head to glance at the Squall’s stern face.  His profile was unmistakably Leonhart.  He had Raine’s nose and cheekbones.  But, as Squall had gotten older, Laguna had noticed he resembled him more and more.  His heart filled with pride as he realized that his son was a quite a handsome young man…just like his old man.

“Quit staring at me.”

Laguna quickly turned his head back to the skyline in embarrassment.  “Sorry.  Sometimes I just can’t believe that you’re actually…”

Squall sighed.  “Alive?”  Laguna nodded.  The young man shook his head gently in disbelief.  “Yeah.  Me too…”

Another silent few moments passed, this time with Squall initiating conversation.  “Any news on Ash?”  His fists clenched at the man’s mention.

Laguna shook his head.  “Nothin’.  It’s like he fell off the map.  But I guess that’s exactly what he wanted.”  He looked at Squall’s tightened hands.  “Seems like you hate him almost as much as I do.”  The President tapped his son’s fingers.

Squall pulled his hands away.  “I’m furious.  I can’t even describe the disdain I have for that piece of shit.”  He began to stand but his legs wobbled and he reluctantly allowed Laguna to guide him back.  “I’m angry at Ash—and Odine—for doing those things to…”  Squall hung his head, obviously embarrassed.  His voice quieted to almost a whisper.  “…to my mother.”

Laguna couldn’t control his emotions.  He openly wept, sobs shuddering his body.  To hear Squall finally refer to Raine as his mother, and to do it with such emotion, knowing that it must have been extremely difficult to out himself like that—was amazing to him. 

“Stop it.”

Laguna didn’t bother to wipe his eyes.  “I can’t help it.  After all this—you finally refer to her as your mother.  You truly are an exceptional man, Squall.”

Squall sighed.   “I’ve had a lot of time to ruminate on this whole—debacle.  I know she’s not at fault.  She was an unfortunate pawn in a maniac’s sick game of revenge.  To see her used like that makes me seethe.”  He tapped his fingers on his thigh.  “I’m still not one-hundred percent comfortable with having someone to actually call ‘Mom,’ but I’m ready to work on it.  I do love her, Laguna.  It’s just going to take time to let myself believe it’s really true.”

Laguna was so incredibly proud of his son.  He knew how hard it was for the young man to show any emotion at all, let alone something as deep and complex as loving a mother that he thought had been dead.  And on top of that, to accept her even though she had tried to murder him in cold blood…he believed that his son was truly becoming a stronger man.

Squall’s voice was firm with his next statement.  Laguna had never heard such fortitude in his tone before.

“Find him, Laguna.”

“Kiros is trying, kid.  But he’s got the whole planet to scour.”  He scowled at the thought. 

Squall stood slowly, this time more steady on his feet.  Laguna offered a hand but it was waved away.  “As soon as I’m recovered enough, I’m going to assist Kiros in his search.  I want to be a part of this.”

Laguna followed suit and shoved his hands in his pockets.  “I know you want to help, but your main focus should be getting better.”

The young man turned to his father, determination in his eyes.  “It’s not just about ‘wanting’ to help.  I _need_ to do this.  After all he’s done to our family; I want to be the one to drag him in by his ears.”

A clattering at the door made the two men turn.  Jane had smashed a wheelchair into the metal frame.  An embarrassed smile graced her lips.  “These fuckers are really hard to drive!” 

Father and son looked at each other in amusement.

Jane rolled the chair into the room.  “Your chariot, my prince!”  She swooped her arms in a grand bow. 

Squall scowled.  “No way.  I’m fine to walk on my own.”

Jane shook her head. “Don’t fight me on this, Leonhart.  Nurse’s orders.”  She pointed to the seat of the chair.  “Now plant your ass, _Commander._ ”

Laguna clapped Squall softly on the back.  “I’d listen to her if I were you.  After the things she vowed to do to Ash, I’m a little afraid.” 

Squall rolled his eyes and reluctantly got in the chair.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“Steaks are almost ready!”

Squall watched as Jane tapped the tongs on her right hip, her left waving in front of her face trying to dissipate some of the heat being thrown off of the grill.  Sitting in the midday sun, feeling the fresh air blow through his hair, he was truly at peace.  Not only was he grateful to be out of that damn hospital, but to be able to sit on his patio, in his own clothes, drinking his own beer—looking at his beautiful fiancée.

Even though his chest and abdomen ached and his throat was still raw from the ET tube, he felt as if nothing could ruin this perfect moment.  Jane turning around at that exact second, steaks in hand, her shirt riding up ever so slightly and exposing her petite-yet-strong abs sealed the deal.

Home had never felt so good.

“I hope you’re hungry.  These suckers are huge.” 

Truth be told, he wasn’t really that hungry.  The throbbing in his core and the pain medications had seen to that.  But, he would eat, and it would be wonderful. 

Jane unceremoniously threw the meat onto his plate, causing the dish to clatter on the tabletop as it balanced once again.  “Shovel it in, Leonhart!  You lost weight in the hospital.” 

A genuine smile touched his lips.  Hyne, he loved her.  He watched as she served herself some pasta salad, then scooped a heaping spoonful onto his plate, followed by green beans.  He had to hold his hand over the plate when she tried to drop fruit salad. 

She scolded him.  “You’ve gotta eat!  You’ll never get your strength back eating like a bird.”

He smiled softly.  “Alright, just a little fruit.”  She smiled broadly as she dumped a scoop on his already overflowing plate.

Jane began to cut her steak, only to stop midway and set her utensils down, a disgusted look on her face. She pushed her plate away and held her hand to her mouth.  Confused, Squall leaned forward gingerly, and tried to look Jane in the eyes.  “You alright?  You look like you’re going to puke.”

She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths.  Her face relaxed as she blew the last bit of air out her lungs.  “Y-yeah.  I just felt sick for a second.”  She got a nervous look on her face.  “Must be the heat from the grill getting to me.  I’m fine now.”

Squall eyed her suspiciously.  “Okay…whatever.”

She began to cut her meat again and took a bite.  “Damn, I’m good.  This is fantastic!”

Squall took a small bite of his own, agreeing with her.  “Steak has never tasted so good.  That hospital food was terrible.” 

The pair ate quietly, enjoying each other’s company.  Squall ate slowly, his stomach not used to consuming large amounts of food.  He picked around his plate, sampling everything, but not really putting a dent in the heaping portions Jane had deposited on the dish. 

He watched Jane as she decimated her entire steak, as well as all the sides she had mounded in front of her.  Squall had never seen her eat so much in one sitting.  In fact, he couldn’t ever remember a time where she had eaten more than him. 

She pushed her plate out in front of her and leaned back in her chair, lacing her hands behind her head.  “Holy shit, I can’t believe I ate all that!”

“Neither can I.”  Squall set his utensils down on his own still-full dish.  “What, are you trying to bulk up or something?”

Jane’s cheeks flushed and she waved her hands in front of her body, as if she were dismissing his statement.  “No, nothing like that.”  As she finished her sentence, her eyes bulged slightly, as if she felt she had said something wrong.  She quickly added, “Just really fucking hungry, I guess.”

Squall stood and began grabbing dishes to bring inside.  Jane slapped his hands away.  “No way, mister.  I got this.”

He frowned.  “I’m not an invalid.  I can help, you know.”

Jane put a hand on her hip, the other balancing the bowl of fruit salad.  “You have the rest of your life to help, Leonhart.  Enjoy this lazy time while you still can.”  She winked and pointed to the couch.  “Sit your ass down.”

He smirked and gave her the SeeD salute.  “Yes, Ma’am.” 

Squall obeyed and walked into the living room, listening as Jane put the leftovers away and loaded the dishwasher.  She padded over when she was finished, her bare feet hardly making any noise on the tiles.  She vaulted herself over the back of the couch, causing it to shake as she landed.  Squall winced as the vibration of her landing caused his left flank to ache.

“Sorry!  I guess I didn’t stick the landing, huh?”  She scooted over and gently wrapped her arms around him. 

Squall gingerly lifted his left arm and laid it behind her neck.  He kissed the top of her head and sighed contentedly.  “It feels so good to be home, Jane.  That hospital was really starting to get to me.”

She snuggled into the crook of his arm.  “Let’s promise each other next time we’re in the hospital, it’s for something good, alright?”

He closed his eyes.  _Something good?  What could possibly be good about anything a hospital had to offer?_ He felt Jane’s body stiffen and his eyes shot open as she abruptly sat up and lurched forward, her hand covering her mouth.

 He leaned forward and laid a comforting hand on her back, rubbing small circles on her spine.  “Are you sure you’re alright?”  This time, Squall wasn’t going to take a generic answer from her. 

Jane was silent for a moment as she breathed methodically.  She finally sat back, blowing out a long breath as she turned to face him.  She looked nervous and her knee was fidgeting.   “I guess now’s a good a time as any to tell you.  But you have to promise not to freak out.”

Squall furrowed his brow and waited for a response.  He didn’t like surprises, and especially ones that had the potential to “freak him out.”

“I didn’t want to tell you while you were in the hospital.  I mean, you were in pretty rough shape for a while and the last thing I wanted to do was stress you unnecessarily.”

Squall knew she was trying to soften whatever blow was coming, but her choice of words was actually doing more harm than good.  His blood pressure began to elevate, causing the surgical incision in his side to throb.  He just stared at her with a blank expression.

Jane smiled anxiously and bit the inside of her cheek.  She let out a nervous laugh.  “So…about being in the hospital for something good next time…”  She swallowed hard.

Squall just continued to stare.  “What about it?” 

She exhaled deeply and began to twiddle her fingers together rapidly in her lap.  She was chewing on the inside of her lip so hard, she must have bit down a little too roughly, as she winced and immediately covered the spot with her tongue.

Squall laid his hands on top of hers, in an attempt to calm her nervous twitching.  “Just tell me.  Whatever it is.”

She smiled anxiously and met his gaze.  “Alright, I guess I better stop pussy-footing around and just spill the beans.”  She took a deep breath and squeezed his hands.  “I’m pregnant.”  Her eyebrows raised and she pursed her lips together, a hopeful grin spreading across her face.

Squall didn’t respond right away.  Truthfully, he didn’t know how to.  News he didn’t expect to hear for years—or possibly ever—had just entered his ears.  He knew he should be nervous, even upset.  This was something that was obviously _not_ planned.  Thoughts started running though his mind. 

_How could this happen?_

_We were careful._

_I…_

_I’m terrified._

_I’m…_

_…happy?_

_Holy shit.  I’m happy._

Jane’s eyes were locked on to his own, looking for any type of response.  She licked her lips, her eyes optimistic.  He knew she expected him to say something.  Today. 

“Squall?”

Squall felt his cheeks warm as a small smile began to start.  The grin quickly consumed his whole face.  “A baby?”

Jane shrugged her shoulders.  Her eyes twinkled as she beamed.  “Surprise.”  She bit her lower lip.  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.  I actually found out while you were, you know…in the coma.  I feel just awful for keeping it from you.” 

He reached up and stroked her cheek.  “I completely understand your reasoning.  You were just trying to protect my recovery.”  He took a cleansing breath and exhaled deeply, his eyes never leaving hers.  “You know, after surviving such a terrible experience, I kind of have a new outlook on life.  I realized that I can’t procrastinate and avoid things anymore, just because I’m scared or feeling stubborn.  You never know when life will change—or end.  So, you need to live in the moment.”  He smiled softly.

Jane scooted herself closer to her fiancé and squinted her eyes, adjusting her glasses.  “Leonhart, are you…smiling?”

Squall turned his head away from her in embarrassment, his smile then turning into a smirk.

“You’re not mad?”

A genuine grin crossed his lips.  “Mad?  No.”  He arched an eyebrow.  “Surprised and terrified?  Yes.”  He took her tiny hand in his and ran his finger over her engagement ring.  He was quiet for a long moment.  “There’s one thing, though.”

Jane got a worried look on her face.  “What?”

“I’d like for us to be married before he or she comes.”

Jane blew out a breath in relief.  “For a minute there I thought you were going to suggest something horrible, like naming it ‘Zell.’”  She leaned forward and kissed him tenderly.  “I think that’s a wonderful idea.  Although I don’t know how much planning I’ll be able to do while battling morning sickness and fatigue.”

Squall sat back on the couch, tugging Jane along with him and gently nuzzling her into the crook of his right arm.  She gingerly wrapped her arm around his midsection, mindful of the bandages and wounds.

“Then how about a nice, quiet intimate ceremony?  The smaller the better.”

Jane craned her neck to look at him.  “Courthouse special?”  She winked.

Squall chuckled.  “Not exactly.  Just something with our families and close friends.”

Jane was quiet for a moment as she snuggled her face into his side.  “Deal, Leonhart.  I don’t have to wear a dress, do I?”

Squall laughed, causing his torso to tighten.  He winced and shifted his weight, in an attempt to alleviate the discomfort.  “Nope.”  He leaned his head back on the pillow top of the couch and closed his eyes.  “I was thinking that Ward could marry us.”

“Ward?”

“You should see it, he’s the ordained one, but Kiros does all the talking.  It’s…unique.”  He turned his body slightly, bringing his left arm over his body.  He rested his hand on Jane’s abdomen. 

“You ready for this shit, Leonhart?”

He rubbed his palm over her belly.  “Ready as I’ll ever be.  I guess we’d better start looking for a crib, huh?”

Jane placed her hand on top of his.  Her voice was quiet and sincere.  “You’re going to be a wonderful father, Squall.”

_Father._

He let the word tumble over and over in his mind.  Was he really ready to be a father?  Did he even know what to do?  He had never held a baby in his life, and really didn’t care for small children all that much.  He realized that he had nothing to compare his upcoming fatherhood to.  Sure, Laguna loved kids…hell, he practically _was_ one with the way he acted sometimes, but Squall really didn’t see him as a “father figure.”  He had grown up without the man in his life, and only had his sparse moments with Cid to make comparisons to. 

None of his friends had any children.  This would be the first grandchild for either family.  He wondered how Laguna would react.  A memory popped into his head then, faint and quick.  He remembered that Laguna had stepped around his own words in the hospital when they had been talking about their engagement.  He had stopped himself as he was mentioning getting ready for something. 

“Laguna knows, doesn’t he?”

He felt Jane’s body tense in his arms.  She sighed.  “Please don’t be mad at me for telling him before you.  It was just…well, an awful time and…I almost threw up on him, so I kinda had to spill it.”

Squall tightened his arm around her as best he could.  The ache in his side was beginning to come back.  “I’m not mad.”

“How did you figure he knew?”

Squall chuckled.  “He can’t help but spoil secrets.”

“I’m going to strangle him.  I made him promise not to tell you.” 

He shook his head.  “It’s nothing like that.  He didn’t tell me, honest.  More like he…stumbled on his words and caught himself before he really did the damage.  I just figured it out.”

Jane’s body shook lightly with faint laughter.  “He said he’d learn to change diapers just for the baby.”

Squall snorted.  “Better him than me.”

Jane pinched the top of his hand, causing him to retract it away from her belly instantaneously and shake it out.  “Bite your tongue, Leonhart.  You have no idea what’s in store for you.”

_She doesn’t know how right she is._

_I’m going to be a father._

 

 


	59. Phoenix:  Chapter 58

Phoenix:  Chapter Fifty-eight

                “I’ll get the door honey.”

Raine Loire sat on the couch, a cookbook sprawled across her lap.  She hadn’t really been looking at it—it more served as a distraction.  Ever since that morning, when Laguna had returned home with the news that Squall was now safely snuggled in his own apartment, she had been anxious.  She knew that he would come by to see her.  Laguna had told her as much.

She desperately wanted to see him; to apologize and beg for his forgiveness.  Even though Laguna had assured her that their son held no ill feelings towards her for what had happened, she couldn’t help but be nervous.  After all, she _had_ tried to murder him. 

Raine couldn’t shake the feeling that when Squall walked through that door, he would fly off the handle and blame her for everything.  She knew that it was irrational to think that way, but something deep in her gut was still gnawing at her.  Whispering into her brain that she was a horrible person, that she really was at fault, and that her son was only coming to rub it in her face.

She watched as her husband bounded towards the door, a cookie hanging out of his mouth.  He swiped his finger across the touch-sensitive pad on the wall and the door swooshed open.  Her stomach immediately jumped into her throat, the feeling of dread that had followed her wherever she went and through whatever she had done this past week threatening to overwhelm her. 

She just wanted this to be over with.

“Come on in, Squall.  You look like you got a nap.”

She heard his voice in the hallway before she saw him.  It sounded weaker than usual.  “Yeah, I slept for a little while until my chest hurting woke me up.”  She lowered her eyes to the book in her lap.

Her heart sunk.  He was in pain.  Because of her.

The sound of heavy footsteps crossing the threshold into her home brought her attention away from the book.  She looked up to see her son, very much alive and standing in the entryway.  Laguna had been right when he described his appearance that morning.  He was pale, had obviously lost weight and looked exhausted.  She noticed how he cradled his right arm close to his body; his palm resting carefully over what she surmised was his surgical site.  Laguna lightly clapped his hand on Squall’s right shoulder.

“Your Mom’s in the living room.”  Laguna motioned with a nod of his head.  “I’ll, uh…leave you two alone so you can talk.” 

Raine felt the warm wetness of tears dampen her cheeks.  She didn’t try to stop it.

Never moving his head to look, Squall merely glanced out of the corners of his eyes, Raine able to see the crystal blue clearer than she had ever before even in the low light of the room. 

She watched as he drew in a deep breath, tightening his hand on his abdomen as the air filled his lungs.  On the exhale he finally turned his head to face her.  And he did something she never thought she’d see again.

He smiled.

It wasn’t a large smile, and it didn’t last long as his lips quickly turned down into his usual stern expression again, but she had seen it.  And it melted her heart.

She wanted all the apprehension and fear of rejection to dissipate with that smile, but she knew that in order for her anxiety to dissolve even somewhat she would need to talk to Squall.

She just hoped that his smile meant he was willing to make an effort.

If Laguna was correct, she had a chance to make amends.

Her son slowly made his way to her, rounding the couch without making any more eye contact.  He wordlessly sat on the other end of the sofa, gently easing himself down as the cushions dipped under his weight.

Out of the corner of her eye, Raine saw Laguna disappear into his den, the door shutting quietly. 

They were alone.

He sat, not looking at her, instead at his hands clasped together on his knees.  She saw his eyes turn and peek at her out of the corners, then dart back to his fingers.  Raine realized she was going to have to speak first.  Now she just had to figure out what to say.  She was just about to speak when Squall started, surprising her.

“Are you okay?”

Raine was shocked.  Not only was she not expecting to have him speak first, but to have him actually inquire about her well-being?  It amazed her.  Here he was, still wounded and recovering, and he was asking her if she was alright.  She didn’t think she could love him any more in that moment.

She found herself having trouble locating her voice.  Her mouth hung open slightly as she tried to find words for him. 

“I’m…fine.”  She tentatively inched closer to him on the sofa.  Gently placing her hand on his, she cocked her head to see his face better.  “Squall, I…”  Tears streamed down her cheeks as she felt his fingers shift and squeeze her own.  “…I’m so sorry for what I’ve done.  I don’t blame you if you can never forgive me.”

He sighed deeply, causing him to wince and remove one of his hands from hers to gently hold his abdomen.  “Don’t apologize.  You did nothing wrong.”  He moved back on the couch to sit more comfortably.  “I agree one-hundred percent with Kiros’ investigation and all the evidence that exonerates you.  You had no control over your actions. 

Raine lowered her head, the tears falling on her pants.  “I don’t deserve such a wonderful son.  I almost   killed you and yet you sit here and forgive me.”

“Forgiveness should come without effort for something that really doesn’t need forgiving in the first place.”  He turned his head to lock eyes with her.  “Something horrible happened, yes…but, nothing you could have said or done would have stopped Ash’s plan.”

Raine knew he was right.  Even though it would still take time—maybe months, maybe years—she would eventually be able to forgive herself.  To move on with her family.

“Can I ask you something, though?”  Squall’s voice was quiet.

“Of course.”  She looked down at her lap.

Squall kept his hand pressed firm against his surgical incision.  “Elle told me you tried to cut your wrist.  Is that true?  Even after you knew you were innocent?”

Raine felt so ashamed.  Her moment of hopelessness was something she didn’t want him to know about.  Her voice was meek, her long hair obscuring her face and mouth as she spoke.  “In that moment, the only thing that made sense was to end my life.  I mean, you were dying…and it was because of me.  I  knew that I was ‘technically’ innocent, but the fact remained that I still pulled that trigger.  The guilt was overwhelming.  You can never imagine the heartbreak I felt knowing that I had caused all this turmoil to our family.   A mother should never have to be confronted with the prospect of her own child dying at her hands.”  She sighed deeply.  “Fortunately, I found the strength to go on.  I needed to live…if only to make amends with you.”

She waited for him to respond.  They both sat for a long moment.  Finally, he faced her again.  “I’m glad you didn’t act on your impulses.”

A small smile touched Raine’s lips.  “Me too.”

Squall, his hand still cradling his flank, turned to face her.  “When I was waking up, I had flashes of images in my mind.  They were of you.  And a gun.”

Raine’s heart broke.  He had remembered. 

“I was afraid that it wasn’t just a hallucination brought on by all the pain medications.  As time went on, and I started to remember more—and finally got the truth from Laguna—I knew that what I had seen had actually happened.”  He looked away from her for a moment, out into the living room.  “I didn’t want to believe that you could have tried to take my life.”

Raine wept quietly, her body shaking gently.

Squall continued.  “Even when I was trying to make sense of what had happened, something deep inside me told me not to blame you.  I want you to know that I knew something was wrong the moment you came into Laguna’s office.  And when I woke up, and he told me Kiros’ theory, I knew I was correct in my assumptions.  _And_ …”

Raine looked up when his intonation changed, locking her eyes with his. 

“…I’m sorry for being such an ass in the beginning.  I was suspicious and unwilling to get closer to you when I had the chance.”

“But you obviously had every reason to be apprehensive.  Look what happened.  You should be furious with me.” 

Squall scowled.  “I am furious.  But not with you.  With Ash.”  His spat the man’s name out, like venom.  “He used you.”

The mention of Ash’s name made Raine shudder.  If she didn’t want to rip his hair off his head with her bare hands so bad, she would be content with never seeing him or hearing his name ever again.  “When your father told me what had happened, and that I had been manipulated, I felt relief and incredible guilt—at the same time.”  She paused to wipe her eyes.  “I was mad at myself for all that I had done, even though I had no control over what had happened.  And the fact that—at the time—you were still critical, I felt like such a tool for feeling relieved.  It was like I didn’t deserve to be thankful that I didn’t do this horrible thing of my own free will because your life was still very much hanging by a thread.”  Her tears fell freely, splashing on her pants.

It was then that Squall did something she never expected.  He scooted closer to her and wrapped his left arm around her.  She could tell that it was painful to do so, as he hissed as he lifted his arm.  She was honored that he would willingly inflict pain upon himself to comfort her.  To feel his warmth, that tell-tale sign that he was very much alive, brought her peace.  In that moment, all the doubts in her mind about whether or not she would achieve forgiveness and once again regain his trust and love, melted away.

“Don’t cry.  You have no reason to.  We’re going to move on and recover from this.  As a family.”

Raine wiped her nose on her sleeve and steadied her breathing.  “You truly are a great man, Squall.  After everything you’ve been through—that we’ve all been through—you constantly amaze me.”

“Ash tried to tear this family apart, but he failed.  Miserably.  He only made us stronger…and pissed off.”  He smirked, causing Raine to do the same right along with him. 

_He looks just like me when I’m riled up._

He continued, “He doesn’t realize that when you mess with Leonharts, or Loires for that matter, you’re barking up the wrong tree.  Not only are we fearless and determined, but we don’t take kindly to being taken advantage of.  Laguna and I will find him, even if we have to go to the edges of the planet.”  He clenched his hand near her shoulder.  “Then we’ll deal with him in a manner befitting of the waste of life he truly is.”

Raine took a chance and snuggled closer to her son.  She was delighted when he didn’t pull away, although he did use his free hand to shield his abdomen as she moved.  “Just promise me that I’ll get a crack at him before you and your father beat him into a bloody mess, alright?”

Squall’s body shuddered as he chuckled slightly.  “Only if you promise not to kill him.  That honor needs to be mine.”

“Deal.”

They sat quietly for a long moment, Raine able to feel Squall’s strong heartbeat thumping against her own body.  She still couldn’t believe that he was actually here, sitting with her.  Nothing prepared her for what happened next.

“Mom?”

Raine’s heart skipped a beat.  He had called her “Mom.”  She had been wishing since the first moment she set foot in the palace that he would address her as such, and now, sitting in her living room as the sun set slowly, causing shadows to move across the floor and walls…the word fluttered like music out of his mouth.

Her breath hitched as she tried to answer.  “Y-yes?”

“Did Laguna tell you our news?”

Raine sighed contentedly.  “I think it’s wonderful that you and Jane are getting married.  It gives us something to look forward to when this is all resolved.”

“He didn’t mention anything else?”

Raine wracked her brain.  “…Nope.  Why?”

“You’re going to be a grandmother.”

Raine’s heart felt as if it swelled, filling her chest cavity.  She sat forward and turned to face her son.  “My baby’s having a baby?”

“Well, technically Jane’s having the baby.”  A smirk crossed his face, obviously proud of his snarky remark.

 “There’s that Leonhart humor.  You’re a smart-ass, you know that?”

His smirk grew, covering his whole face.  Raine relished the Loire-like twinkle in his sparkling blue eyes.  “I take it you’re excited.”

Raine brought her hands to her chest, across her bosom.  “You have no idea.  You know, when I was at the lab, the night that Ash told me that you and your father were alive, I daydreamed about what your lives might have been like.  One of the things I thought about was whether or not I was a grandmother yet.  Even then, as a pipe dream, it made me feel overjoyed.”  She felt her cheeks flush with pride.  “I couldn’t think of a better set of parents for this little one.  You guys are going to do great.”

Squall blew out a long breath.  “I sure hope so.  Because right now I’m scared out of my mind.”

She patted his knee.  “I was too, before you were born.  It’s too bad I never really got the chance to experience your childhood.”  Her eyes softened.  “But, I guess I’ll just have to live vicariously through you two.  I’ll even change diapers.”

Squall snorted.  “Laguna already volunteered for that duty.”

Raine’s eyes narrowed.  “That dirty rat.  He knew and didn’t tell me.  I’m going to throttle him.”  She stood, hands on her hips.  “Laguna Loire!  Come out of that den this instant!”

A very intimidated-looking President emerged from the doorway, half a donut sticking out of his mouth.  “Wuffs wif the shouting?”  Powdered sugar puffed out of his mouth as he spoke. 

“You didn’t think that our impending grandchild was important enough to tell me?”  She put on her very best irritated face and made sure her speaking tone was quite stern.  “And what did I tell you about sugary foods before dinner?”

Laguna winced and quickly finished his forbidden snack.  He wiped his mouth with his hands, the confectioner’s sugar dusting his fingers.  “Gee, I’m sorry Raine.  I wanted it to be Squall’s secret to tell you, since I already ruined the whole engagement reveal for them.”  He had a genuinely apologetic look on his face.

Raine bit the inside of her cheek, staring him down.  “You’re lucky I’m in a forgiving mood, since our son has forgiven me.”

Laguna scratched the back of his neck, before quickly reaching for his left thigh.  “You’re really mad, aren’t you?”

Squall laughed quietly behind her.

Raine couldn’t keep her composure any longer.  She burst out into a fit of laughter.  “Laguna!  I’m kidding!”

A relieved look washed over his face.  “Man, I thought you were really pissed at me!”  He hobbled over, still clutching his leg.  “You gotta believe me when I say it was the hardest secret ever to keep.  I almost ruined it a few times!”

Raine clapped him on the back.  “Oh, I believe you.  I remember the ‘secrets’ you and Ellone could never keep from me for more than ten minutes…”  She stood on her toes and kissed the tip of his nose.  “… _Grandpa_.”

Squall rose slowly, wincing at the movement.  “I’m leaving.  You guys need to get a room.”

Laguna scowled at his son, then leaned Raine backwards and planted a large wet kiss smack in the middle of her lips.  Squall just rolled his eyes in disgust.

Raine wiggled out of her husband’s embrace, giggling.  She moved alongside her son as he made his way to the door.  She gently grabbed his bicep to get his attention.

Her eyes were hopeful.  “So, does this mean we’re…okay?” 

The sweetest smile she had ever seen graced the young man’s lips.  “We’re more than okay.  And we’re going to find Ash, deal with him and move on with our lives.  I promise.”

Tears wetted Raine’s eyes as she leaned in to kiss Squall lightly on the cheek.  “I’m going to hold you to that promise.”

Squall nodded silently and slid his thumb over the keypad, opening the door.  “I’ll see you both later.”

Raine watched him leave, the closing door obscuring his form as he moved across the hall to his own home.  Laguna moved in behind her, wrapping his strong arms around her midsection.  She leaned back into his embrace, sighing with relief.

“We truly have an amazing son, Laguna.  He forgave me…for everything.”

Laguna nuzzled his chin into her hair.  “He’s got an amazing mother.  I wouldn’t have expected anything less from him.”

Raine smiled.  “It’s really happening, isn’t it Laguna?”

“What?”

“We’re healing.  As a family.”

Laguna squeezed tighter.  “You bet.  This will make us all stronger, you’ll see.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Squall laid back gently, relishing in the soft scent of the clean sheets.  He had never felt so thankful to be in his own bed. 

Ever.

He could hear Jane singing behind the closed bathroom door, a habit that he loved.  He could just picture her, singing into her finger as the music blared from the speaker on her ever-present phone.  Her choice tonight was a raucous metal song by her favorite band, The Flying Grats, complete with obscene lyrics and high-pitched screeching.  He wondered if the baby could hear it.  He wouldn’t be surprised if he or she came out swearing.

Sinking back into the pillows, he sighed as the memory-foam mattress conformed to his body—a far cry from the bed he was sure had been stuffed with rocks in the hospital.  He closed his eyes for a moment,  listening to his fiancée sing her lungs out in the other room, her voice echoing off the tiled walls.

He didn’t mean to fall asleep.

He awoke some time later to find the lights off, the only luminosity coming from the television.  Jane lay next to him, the remote control resting on her still-flat belly.  He reached over and removed it, startling her.  Her eyes shot open and she sat up quickly.

“Fuck, Leonhart!  You scared the shit out of me!”  Her arm flailed, knocking the device from his hand and sending it skittering across the floor, the television turning off from the impact. She held her hand to her chest. 

Squall eased himself over to her side, wrapping his arm around her waist.  He guided her back down to the pillows.  “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Jane lay back and snuggled against his body.  “I didn’t smack you, did I?”  She rubbed his chest through his thin shirt.

“Nah.”  He brought his hand up to her head and speared his fingers through her mussed hair.  “Sorry I fell asleep before you even came to bed.”

Jane yawned.  “That’s okay.  I know today must have been exhausting for you.  I’m just glad you’re able to sleep at all.”  She rolled onto her back and laid her hands across her abdomen.  “Quite a day, huh?  I mean, this morning you were just ‘Squall Leonhart, recovering Commander.’  Now you’re a father-to-be.”

Squall smiled slightly in the darkness of the room.  Never would he have imagined that the prospect of impending fatherhood would make him smile.  He always imagined it with vomit involved.  And possibly hyperventilation and panic. 

“Still doesn’t seem real.”

Jane snorted.  “Well, get used to it, buster.  ‘Cause before you know it, you’ll be tying my shoes and shaving my legs for me because I can’t see over my big belly.”

Squall chuckled.  “I would be honored.”  He placed his strong hand on her stomach and allowed the sleep that he desperately needed to consume him.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  XxX  

 

_A/N:  The Flying Grats belong to Roarke Q. Stratton.  It’s…an inside joke.  An insane one.  ;)  Thanks for letting me use the name, my dear!_


	60. Phoenix:  Chapter Fifty-nine

Phoenix:  Chapter Fifty-nine

                Raine could feel the warmth of the morning sunlight as it fell across her face.  Her body was calm, her thoughts at peace.  She had enjoyed a wonderful night’s sleep, the first in over a week that hadn’t been marred by vicious nightmares or insomnia.  She lay with her eyes still closed, enjoying the silence of the new morning.

Until Laguna started snoring.

Her eyes opened and she arched her brows, annoyed with her husband for interrupting such a serene awakening.  She rolled to her side and propped herself up on her elbow to watch him.  He was flat on his back, arms splayed wide: one off the side of the bed, the other above her own head on the top of her pillow.  His toes peeked out from underneath the comforter that had been tangled around his legs.  Messy brown hair was nested around his face, obscuring his eyes and puffing away from his open mouth every time he let out a breath.

_You’re lucky you’re so cute, Loire.  Or I’d smack you for waking me up._

Raine nudged him in the ribs gently.  He stirred slightly, his head rolling away from her with a garbled, “ _leemeelone_.”  Raine covered her mouth to stifle her laughter.  A mischievous grin crossing her lips, she poked him again, harder this time.  When she didn’t get any sort of response, she decided to stoop to his own well-used tactics.

She licked the tip of her finger and stuck it in his ear.

Laguna’s eyes shot open and he swatted her hand away from his face.  It took him a confused moment to shake himself awake and realize just who had invaded his space.  He rolled over, Raine giggling like a schoolgirl beside him.

“Dirty pool, Mrs. Loire.  Dirty pool.”

Raine scoffed.  “You did the same thing to me two weeks ago, _Mister President._   I’m just returning the favor.”

Laguna scooted closer to her, his fingers arching as he stretched his hands out to grab her.  “Well, I guess that means you need some ‘cuchi-cuchi treatment’ then, huh?”

Raine screeched and tried to escape, but Laguna’s strong arms caught her and pulled her on top of him.  She tried desperately to move away as he tickled her mercilessly.  Her hair was twisting around her face, getting in her mouth as she laughed harder than she had in a long time.  She finally screamed when she couldn’t take any more.

“Okay, I give!”

Laguna released her and rolled her onto her back.  “That’s what you get for the Wet Willy.”

They both lay panting, the covers still tangled but now on the floor.  Raine’s pillow had been knocked to the side where it hung precariously off the nightstand, the lamp the only thing keeping it from tumbling to the floor below. 

Raine sighed, swatting an errant strand of hair away from her eyes.  “Just like old times, isn’t it Laguna?”

“I remember many morning tickle matches like this back in Winhill.  You usually won, though.”

Raine smiled at the memory.  Countless times, ages ago, she and Laguna would greet the morning in much the same fashion.  Although when they were younger, the tickle fights almost always led to something more passionate.  “I’m glad that we’re all doing better, and we can actually have fun again.  I couldn’t even have imagined a morning like this earlier in the week.”

Laguna pulled her into his arms.  “You got that right.  After yesterday, when you and Squall talked, everything just felt _different._   Like, the world was sayin’ ‘Go ahead and start over…enjoy life again!’” 

“It just feels good to be able to enjoy life, to allow myself to be silly or happy, without feeling guilty about what happened.”

Laguna rubbed his cheek against Raine’s hair.  “I’m glad that you decided to come to bed last night instead of riding the couch again. I was gettin’ lonely.”

“It was time.  We’re starting to heal and it’s all part of the process.” 

Laguna took a deep breath.  “Well, it’s also time for me to get up before I pee my pants.”

Raine slapped his bare chest.  “You’re so disgusting, Loire.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“Commander Leonhart has been released from medical care at Esthar Memorial Hospital and is now resting comfortably at home.  He is doing remarkably well and the doctors expect him to make a full recovery.   The family has asked that in lieu of sending any flowers to please make a donation to a charity of your choice if you feel so inclined.”

Samantha Jorden had never been happier to be in the press room.  Her heart filled with joy as she read her statement, a testament to Squall’s ability to heal and the doctors who brought him back from the brink. 

_“Sam, is the Commander planning on speaking publicly at some point?”_

“Not that I know of at the moment.  He’s focusing on recovering so he can get back to his position at Garden.  As you all know, new SeeD cadet installation is less than three weeks away and Commander Leonhart intends to be present.”

_“When are we going to get more information about the investigation?  I mean, it’s been over a week.  Surely you can share something.”_

Secretary Jorden scowled.  She had reminded the reporters at the beginning of the conference that she would not be taking any questions about the police business, and yet one reporter had to push it.  She recognized him—a snarky, arrogant newsman from Galbadia. 

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.  “Maybe you didn’t hear me when I said that I wasn’t going to answer any questions about that.  This conference is specifically an update on the Commander’s condition.”

The reporter wasn’t going to back down.

_“Look, Sam.  You’re usually pretty forthcoming with information.  But this time, you’ve been really tight-lipped.  We know something’s up.  I think I speak for most of my colleagues when I say that we want something more than just ‘the investigation is ongoing.’”_

Some of the reporters present shifted in their seats, mumbling and looking around to see reactions.  Sam stood her ground.  Her job was to represent the President and his family, and abide by their wishes when it came to information dispersion.  And Laguna had made himself perfectly clear that no information about the investigation was to be allowed out.

“Mister…Adams, isn’t it?”  The reporter nodded, a sly smirk on his face.  Sam continued, “Listen closely, because I am NOT going to repeat myself again.  This office has no comment on anything to do with the investigation.  This order comes directly from the Police Chief and Ambassador Seagill.  This isn’t your ordinary attempted murder case.  The SeeD Commander’s life was almost taken last week.    The fact that he is the President’s son and the crime took place within the walls of the Palace makes this the most complicated undertaking the precinct has ever undertaken.  You can see why they are reluctant to just spew information to you guys.”  Samantha’s lips curled as she tried to suppress her growing disgust for the reporter who had started this whole mess.

“I assure you that when the police, Ambassador Seagill and most importantly the President and his family are ready, they will make the information available.  Until then, you’ll just have to be patient.  If you are unwilling to accept that, then feel free to leave my press office right now.”  She stared directly at Adams, her nostrils flaring slightly. 

The room was silent, stunned reporters sitting like ramrods in their chairs.  They all looked shocked at her newly found bravado.  It seemed as if no one was going to push her any more today.

“Any other questions?”  The press pool was silent.  Sam exhaled sharply.  “Right then.  Next update will more than likely be tomorrow, and so help me in _anyone_ asks about the investigation I’ll have them thrown out on their ass.  Got it?”

Nods and murmurs of “Yes, Ma’am” bubbled through the group of reporters. 

“I’m glad we’re all on the same page.  Have a nice day.”

Sam stormed off the podium and into her office.  She threw her notecards down on her desk and huffed.  Sitting at her desk, she removed her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose.  She was already feeling the telltale signs of a migraine coming on.  She pulled a drawer open and found a small bottle that thankfully had one more pill left inside.  She popped the tablet into her mouth and washed it down with hours-old coffee.  Wincing at the taste, but thankful that she now had the medication in her body, she picked up the phone and dialed.

“Ambassador Seagill?  We have to release a statement soon.  Please inform the President that he needs to make a decision as soon as possible.”  She sighed.  “I don’t know how much longer I can hold these jackals off.”

 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX

 

 

“Jane, you look beautiful this morning.”  Kiros extended his arms and embraced the young woman as he entered Squall’s apartment, Laguna and Ward in tow behind him.

“…”

“And Ward says you’re glowing.”

Jane blushed slightly.  “They say pregnant women glow.  Truth is, I just feel sick.  But, I’ll take a compliment when I can get one.”  She patted Ward on the arm.  “Come in, Squall’s just getting out of the shower.  You guys can go out on the patio and I’ll bring some drinks out.

The three men made their way to the sunlit balcony, Jane following a minute later toting lemonade.  “Make yourselves at home and I’ll let Squall know you’re here.”

She went back into the house, Laguna helping himself to a tall glass of the cool drink.  “So, I wonder what Squall wants to talk to us about.  He sounded pretty urgent when he called this morning.”

Kiros shrugged.  “Whatever it is, this will also be a good time to speak with him about the statement Sam wants to make.”

Laguna nodded.  He was dreading that subject.  The press secretary had been very adamant that the whole family decide—soon—what the explanation was going to be about the investigation.  They couldn’t keep the press at bay much longer, and that their story had better be a good one.  In talking to Raine, she agreed that the public had a right to know what had gone on, even though she was terrified to have the information come out.  Kiros had agreed that keeping the press at bay for a little while longer might give them a tactical advantage in apprehending Ash.  If they went public with anything, it might send him into deeper hiding.  And they needed to find him.

They had every intention of dealing with him personally.

“…”

“Ward says he feels like Ash will be taken in soon.  He just ‘knows’ it.”

The large man nodded deliberately and smiled.

“Well, I might just be able to speed that process up.”

All three men turned their attention to the open patio door.  Squall stood tall in the door, his color having returned tenfold and no longer cradling an arm against his left flank.  He held a plate of muffins in his hands.  Setting the platter down, he sat in the closest chair, still taking his time to ease into his seat. 

“Wow, you look a million times better this morning.”  Laguna smiled broadly. 

“Not sleeping on a mattress filled with stones can have that effect on a man.”  Squall reached for a glass of lemonade.  “Seriously, that hospital bed was awful.”

Laguna grabbed a pastry and began shoving it into his mouth, crumbs flying as he spoke.  “So, what’s up?  It’s not like you to invite us over for a social call.  Although I will say that I’m pleasantly surprised.”

“…”

“Ward says that you’re a pig.  Wait ‘till you’re done chewing to start talking.”  Kiros brushed the crumbs that had flown out of his friend’s mouth and across the tabletop onto the floor. 

Squall leaned back in his chair.  “I have an idea.  I’ve been thinking a lot about this since Laguna told me about the theory and I think I know where Ash is.”

Laguna gave Squall a skeptical look.  “You do?”

Ward and Kiros exchanged intrigued glances.

 “Heaven’s Hope.”

Laguna snorted.  “That slum?  Why would he hide there…and so close to the city?  That’s practically at my doorstep.”

“Think about it.  Even the police don’t go near that area.  It would be the perfect place to go unnoticed—to disappear.”

 “Well, I’ll be damned. I can’t believe I never thought of that.”  Kiros looked stunned.  “All this time, and he could have very well been under our noses.”

Squall exhaled deeply.  “He’s there, guys. I’m sure of it.  It’s just a gut feeling.  Rip that place apart until you find him and then drag that miserable wretch in by his toenails.” 

“…”

“Ward’s right.  We can’t just go bashing in there with a SWAT team.  Ash will bolt before we can even begin looking.  We need to be cautious.”

Laguna pursed his lips in thought.  “What about a stakeout?  We used to do that all the time in the army, you know, scouting locations and spying on the enemy?”

Kiros rolled his eyes.  “You mean Ward and I used to do it all the time.  If memory serves, you were usually asleep.”  He tapped his fingers on the tabletop, Laguna looking away with an embarrassed half-smile.  “But you have a very good point.  One or two men could slip in more easily than a tactical team.”

Laguna’s eyes lit up, but before he could even speak, Ward glared at him and shook his head.

“…”

“You said it, Ward.  No way, Laguna.  You’re not coming.”

The President pouted.  “I never get to do anything fun.”

Squall scowled.  “This isn’t a game, Laguna.  Even disguised, if word leaked out that you were there, the locals would have you in their grasp so fast you wouldn’t know what hit you.  It’s too risky.”  He inhaled deeply, wincing as his chest expanded.  “I’d love to offer my services but there’s no way I’m field ready.”

“Ward and I will go.”  Kiros looked to his large friend who nodded in agreement.  “We’ll slip in through some old waste access tunnels under the city.  The police still monitor them from our side, so I know they’ll have our back.”

“…”

“Of course you can sit on him when we catch him.  Who do you think’ll have to chase him down?”  Kiros patted Ward on the shoulder, eliciting a wry smile from the gentle giant.

Squall balled his fist so tight his knuckles turned white.  “When you do apprehend him, you bypass those idiots at the precinct and bring him to me.  I’m going to make him pay for hurting my mother.”

“When the time comes, he’ll have to contend with all of us in turn.”  Laguna leaned forward and looked at his son with steely determination over the rims of his sunglasses.  “Ward and Kiros _will_ find him.  And then we can make him wish he had never been born.”

Squall looked at the man with a surprised smile.  “Wow, Laguna.  I’ve never heard you sound so threatening.  I’m impressed.”

“No one threatens my family, Squall.”  He puffed out his chest.  “I may be gettin’ up there in my years, but I can still kick an ass or two if need be.”

Kiros took a long drink of his lemonade and set the glass back down.  “Ward and I will make all the arrangements this afternoon.  I’d like to be underway by midnight.”

“…”

“Your Harpoon would give you away instantly.  Sorry man, you can’t bring it.”

Ward pouted and crossed his massive arms across his chest. 

“With any luck, Ash will be in custody by the end of the week.  Then Sam can make her statement.”  Kiros sat back in chair and rested his arms on the sides.

Squall quirked an eyebrow.  “Statement, huh?  The press are getting antsy, aren’t they?”

Kiros nodded.  “And how.  They’re getting pretty ballsy with their questioning.” 

Laguna scratched the back of his neck.  “I know that none of us want to put Raine’s name out there, but we all agree that it’s time.  Even her.”  Laguna cast his eyes down to the tabletop.  “She wants to come clean.”

“…”

“Ward’s right.  If we catch him, then even though we need to name Raine as the gunman, at least we can place blame where it’s warranted—on Ash.  I’m confident that the people of Esthar won’t blame her when Ash’s plan is revealed.”

Squall chewed on the inside of his lip.  “I agree.  I’ll admit that I don’t want her to be dragged into all this, but it’s inevitable at this point.”

“Well then, we should get going.  Ward and I have a lot of planning to do in the next few hours.”  Kiros began to stand, only to be thwarted by Squall.

“Wait.  There’s one more thing.”  Kiros sat slowly back into his chair.  Squall set his attention to Ward.  “Jane and I would like to ask you if you’d marry us.  As soon as possible.” 

The hulking man smiled warmly.  He laid his large hand on top of Squall’s.

 “…”

Kiros also smiled broadly.  “Ward says of course he’ll marry you.  In fact, he’d be honored.”

Squall shook the large man’s hand.  “Thank you.  Nothing big, just the family.”

With plans in motion, for both a tactical apprehension and wedding, the four men sat on the patio and looked out at the gleaming cityscape.  Within the hour, presidential ambassadors would be finalizing stakeout details while a young mother-to-be planned her shotgun wedding.

Just a typical day in the palace.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Night fell on Esthar, the city twinkling in the darkness.  Jane sat on the balcony watching as the people moved about on the streets below.  She didn’t hear any noise from the bedroom behind her, so she figured Squall was asleep.   It was quiet, and gave her the perfect arena in which to sort out her swirling thoughts.

She couldn’t get the thoughts about Raine to go away.  No matter how hard she tried, she was still furious with the woman.

Jane knew all about Kiros’ theory.  She accepted it as truth. 

So why couldn’t she move on?  Why was she still so mad at Raine, even after knowing that she wasn’t truly at fault? 

_Man, I am a bitch._

Jane huffed in annoyance and threw her head back to look up at the sky.  The glowing lights of the metropolis made it impossible to see the stars.  She missed them.  Back in Trabia there was no light pollution, and the heavens lit up with an unbelievable glow.  As a child, the stars had always helped her calm down.

She needed them more than ever tonight.

Everything in her being was telling her to move on.  Everyone else had.  So why couldn’t she?

Squall and Laguna had both forgiven Raine.  Kiros and Ward had done the same.  The only thing she didn’t know for sure was if Raine had forgiven herself.

She wondered if she would ever be able to.

Part of Jane wanted that never to happen.

_Damn, why do I want her to suffer?  I am a horrible person._

Angry at herself for thinking such venomous thoughts, she kicked her leg out and knocked over a potted plant in frustration.  The sound must have startled Squall, because just seconds later her bounded out of the door, battle ready.

“Are you alright?  What happened?”

Jane twisted her neck back to look at him, a guilty look on her face.  “Sorry. The plant felt my wrath.”

Squall approached her and put his hands on her shoulders, massaging gently.  She could feel the warmth from his body radiating to her own.  It comforted her. 

“What did the plant ever do to you?”

Jane chuckled softly.  “Nothing.  More like ‘caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.’  Poor thing never knew what hit it.”

Squall stopped rubbing her back and took a seat next to her.  “Want to talk about it?  Something’s obviously bothering you.”

Jane sighed heavily and looked away.  “I feel like such an asshole.”

“Why?”

After being silent for a long moment, Jane finally spoke.  “I’m still so mad at Raine.  And I feel terrible because of it.”  She hung her head.

Squall patted her thigh.  His voice was very quiet.  “Jane, don’t feel bad.  Everyone is entitled to their own feelings.”  He scooted his chair closer to hers.  “Why do you think you’re still angry?  Don’t you believe Kiros’ theory?”

“Of course I do!  That’s what’s making this so difficult.  I can’t explain why I still feel the way I do…I just… _do._ ”  Jane swung her feet back and forth under the chair.  “I know she’s innocent, but it still doesn’t change the fact that she pulled the trigger.  Brainwashing or not.  And I just can’t get past it.”

“Do you think it would help if you talked to her?  Because you sound just like her right now.”

Jane turned to look at him, confusion crossing her face.  “I do?  How so?”

“She feels the same way as you do.  She knows she’s technically not at fault, but it eats at her that she still did it.  I think...”  Squall put his arm around Jane’s back.  “…that you guys should talk.  I think it would do you both good—you can air your grievances and she can give you her perspective.”

Jane exhaled deeply and leaned back into Squall’s arm.  She rested her hand on her belly.  “I guess you’re right.  Maybe after Kiros and Ward find Ash I’ll talk with her.”

Squall put his own hand on top of her own and squeezed gently.  “Don’t stress yourself.  I promise that in time, this will get easier.  No one expected this healing process to happen overnight, and I’ll admit that I really surprised myself as to how easily and quickly I was able to forgive her.  But just because I was able to so fast, doesn’t mean you will or should do the same.  Keep your own pace.  Your heart will tell you what’s right.”

Jane snorted.  “So poetic, Leonhart.  You sap.”

“Whatever.”


	61. Phoenix: Chapter Sixty

Phoenix:  Chapter Sixty

“…”

“I know these tunnels stink, just hold your breath!  We’re almost there.”

Ward crawled on his hands and knees, not an easy feat for the hulking man, through the foul sewer access tunnels that crisscrossed the bowels of Esthar.  With Kiros right on his tail, they snaked their way through what seemed like miles of never-ending passageways.  Each man hauled three bags with them, filled with various surveillance equipment, disguises and police apprehension gear, as well as water and food to last them a few days, if necessary.  Kiros was also in possession of a voice-disguising mechanism that would be camouflaged in the face wrap of his wardrobe.   Ward had a rifle slung over his back, loaded with pepper-balls, and a pistol loaded with the same type of ammo in one of his packs.  They needed to be ready for whatever Heaven’s Hope—and Ash—had to throw at them. 

Laguna and Squall had made it very clear that the sinister doctor was to be taken alive.

“If my map is accurate, when we turn at the next bend, the exit port should only be thirty or so meters off.”  Kiros wiped his brow with a filthy hand.  It was stifling in the shaft, the air thick with the stench of old sewage and festering decay.  Even though the tunnels hadn’t been used for sewer discharge in years, they still reeked. 

“…”

“I’ll owe you _two_ beers…and a cheeseburger.  But quit bitching.”

Ward turned his head as well as he could and shot Kiros a grin of acceptance to the terms. 

They continued along, rounding the bend indicated on Kiros’ map and followed the remaining tube until they reached a steel grate.  The end of the tunnel expanded, allowing room for both men to crouch side-by-side.  They both peered out from behind the end cap, looking up through the basin, taking in the sights and sounds of the semi-sleeping slum. 

The village was fairly deserted.  It was almost three in the morning.  A few people milled about near a burning barrel, while a ragged dog chewed on what appeared to be what was left of the head of a Mesmerize. 

The pair sat for a good twenty minutes, observing the residents.  Kiros thought they seemed much too quiet and well-behaved for what he knew of the place.  He expected fights, bullets flying willy-nilly through the air and general chaos.  For the most part, the people they were looking at were just hanging out, cussing and drinking next to a fire.

“…”

“Yeah.  It seems _too_ quiet.  Maybe this place isn’t as bad as everyone thinks it is.”

A few more long moments passed, and the men warming themselves on the fire went their separate ways, leaving the area deserted.  Kiros tapped Ward on the shoulder, giving his friend the signal to begin taking the grate off its moorings. 

With precision that one would never think could come from such massive hands, Ward gently—and quietly—removed each bolt from its socket, handing them to Kiros.  While his friend worked, Kiros also kept watch on the area directly in front of the exit of the tunnel, making sure they weren’t attracting any attention to themselves. 

When the anchors were removed, Ward lifted the massive grate aside and with no effort whatsoever, set it just to his right.  With the outlet recessed under street level, it would be very unlikely that anyone would notice the grate had been removed.  They both slipped out quietly, dragging their gear with them.  When they were both safely on the outside, Ward leaned the grate back up against the exit and began to quickly sonic-weld the gate back onto the frame. 

There would be no going back the way they came.  The people didn’t need to know the tunnels lead all the way to the city.

They weren’t leaving without Ash.  And they planned to make a spectacle of him.

They donned their disguises, the tattered robes of Trabian rebels, and climbed out of the trough.  Mindful that they weren’t seen, they disappeared into the night.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

 

It was well past two in the morning, and Squall couldn’t sleep.    His brain was in overdrive.  He was thinking of Kiros and Ward, making their way to Heaven’s Hope through the tunnels under the city. And another thought – one much closer to home – drove him from the bed that night. 

The one sleeping in the room behind him.

He rested his hands on the balcony railing, feeling the wind whip through his hair.  He briefly turned and looked into the darkened room, unable to see his fiancée in the low light.  A small smile crept across his lips and he thought of her—and the child she was carrying.

Even though he was at peace with impending fatherhood, he was still scared out of his mind.  He had never encountered anything like this before—and he had taken down a ruby dragon alone.  His thoughts bounced around his brain, melding into one giant mass.  He couldn’t stop them.

_What will we name it?  We have to buy a crib…and stroller…and car seat.  Holy shit, I need a car seat in my car.  Do I even know how to hold a baby?  Change a diaper?  What happens the first time it gets sick?  Or hurt?  How will I know what he or she needs when they’re crying?  Will Jane and I be good parents?_

The last thought stuck in his mind longer before being absorbed into the clump in his mind.  Of course they would be good parents.  They were intelligent, caring, no-nonsense individuals.  How hard could raising a baby be, anyway?  You feed them, change them, and rock them to sleep.  Right?

_What will we tell the baby about Raine and Laguna?  About Raine’s resurrection?  Or about…_

Squall shuddered.  He couldn’t decide, however, if it was the breeze or his line of thoughts that had made him shiver.  One never thinks they’ll have to tell their child someday that their grandmother was brought back from the dead.  Or that she tried to kill their father.

All of the events were still much too fresh in everyone’s mind. For now, it was best to leave them at bay to examine later.  There would be plenty of time to decide how and when to approach the subject.

Squall sighed and looked out over the sleeping city.  He told himself to calm down, that this stress wasn’t doing anything to help his recovery.  Everything would be fine.  They would welcome a healthy little baby into the world next year, and begin life as a new family. 

And he’d even learn to change diapers.

His body relaxed, the tightness in his side subsiding as he exhaled slowly.  He tried to decide whether or not to go back to bed and try to sleep, or just go do something else and let Jane rest undisturbed.  He knew that he was very restless lately while sleeping, and it must be disturbing her.  She needed all the rest she could get. After all, she was sleeping for two now.

He padded back into the bedroom and kissed her softly.  She swatted sleepily at him, murmuring something about Cactuars as she rolled over away from him. 

He walked into the hallway, closing the door halfway as he exited.  Maybe he’d hang out in his weapon collection for a while.  That always seemed to calm his thoughts.

Squall keyed open the locked door and was greeted by the familiar scent of old leather and metal.  He circled his weapons room, running his fingers over the dull blade of a Galbadian bayonet as he passed it by.  The sheer brutality of the piece jumped out at him like it had never done before.  To get so close to someone that you could see the fear in their eyes as you gutted them with the blade must have been horrifying.

Sure, he had killed many people over his career as a SeeD, but he was always so busy swinging, slicing and moving quickly that he never got a good look at who was in front of him.  He was always moving forward:  to the next target, the next assailant who was trying to take down the legendary SeeD Commander.  And of course, no one had ever succeeded.

Until his own mother had taken her shots.

He hadn’t planned on thinking about that morning again.  He closed his eyes and tried to will the memory out of his thoughts for the moment, but Squall couldn’t get the image out of his head.

She had stared directly at him as she pulled the trigger.  Her eyes were soulless and without life, but she had looked right at him.  Raine had never even flinched the gun discharged the ammunition. 

_Why are you thinking about this?  You forgave her.  She’s not a fault, you know that.  Move on, Leonhart.  There’s no reason to keep bringing this shit back into your life._

It wasn’t as easy to forget as he had hoped.

He didn’t remember anything about Raine after the shots, only the feeling of his body falling, the wind produced by the movement blowing past his already-flushing cheeks. 

He didn’t feel any pain right away.  Not until he was on his way to the ground did it even register that he had been shot.  Then the agony hit him full force.  The weight on his chest, the gurgling in his throat as blood began to rise, threatening to choke him with every breath. 

Squall could see Laguna rushing towards him, total panic in his eyes.  The man’s strong arms had caught him just as his head was about to hit the floor.  The feeling of being pulled into his father’s lap, the urgency in his voice as he begged Squall to hang on.

He exhaled sharply, not realizing that he had been holding his breath.  Even though more than a week had passed since that horrible day, he still couldn’t shake that lingering image of the terror on Laguna’s face.

_Why are you still thinking about this?_

Squall blew out a sharp breath, wincing as the air leaving his lungs left a lingering ache in his side.

_I guess letting go isn’t that easy._

His head was beginning to pound from all the thinking and he decided to go back to bed.  The morning, he hoped, would bring a new day, news from Kiros and Ward and another opportunity for the family to continue healing.

One pain pill and twenty minutes later, Squall found himself slipping into a drug-induced haze as Jane rolled over and sprawled across the bed, her hand brushing gently against his cheek.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“The sun’s going to be up soon.  We need to find shelter.”

Ward and Kiros darted behind yet another shack, hoping that this time it actually _would_ be abandoned.  They had been slowly making their way through the alleys of Heaven’s Hope, peering into random hovels and huts, trying to find a suitable place to set up shop. 

Several occupied dwellings and one near-miss fistfight later, it seemed as if they were finally successful.  Kiros stood on his toes, trying to angle himself for a better look into the back window.

“It’s empty, man.  Here, help me force it open.”

Ward dropped his gear and wrenched the brittle windowpane open with strong hands.  The pair was immediately hit with the unmistakable stench of rotting flesh.  A quick look around before entering confirmed that the smell was coming from the bloated corpse of a Geezard.

Kiros wrinkled his nose.  “Well, I guess now we know why it was deserted.”  He motioned to the window.  “After you, my friend.”

Ward glared at Kiros and shook his head.  “…”

“Come on, Ward.  We don’t have time for this shit.  Just plug your nose and go through the window.  It’s getting lighter by the minute and I for one don’t feel like getting caught.”

The giant sneered and punched Kiros in the arm before taking a deep breath and heading through the window.  Mere seconds later, the body came rocketing through the open portal, whizzing past Kiros’ head and hitting a pile of boxes against the wall behind them.  Kiros quickly covered it with some trash that was littering the alley.

“See?  That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Ward narrowed his eyes.

“Thanks, man.  Now come on and help me in.  We’ve got a lot of work to do before sunrise.”

“…”

“Yeah, I hope we don’t have to stick around longer than a day either.  It smells like Laguna’s gym shoes.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

The sun was blaring, the midday heat effectively cooking the rotting Geezard corpse outside their new base camp.  Ward and Kiros both sat sentry at opposite windows, peering out through the cracks in the boards that obscured them.  Ward utilized binoculars to look down the street, his vantage point allowing him to see the “town square” area of the slum.

Kiros trained his eyes down the road ahead of him, looking keenly for anyone who even remotely resembled William Ash.

“…”

“Yeah, I’m beginning to think you’ve got something there.  He wouldn’t be stupid enough to just walk around in broad daylight.”

Ward got up and stretched his huge arms back and over his head. His massive neck cracked and popped.  He thudded over to their small food ration and picked up two packets of crackers.  He stomped his foot twice, their customary way of saying, “Hey, look at me for a second,” and Kiros turned just in time to have the package whipped at his head.

“Thanks, man.”  He ripped open the snack and sighed heavily as he bit into the savory snack.  “I think one of us is going to have to go out there and do some reconnaissance.”

Ward nodded.  “…”

Kiros snorted.  “You’d be recognized in a heartbeat, disguise or no disguise.  There’s only one man I know of that’s as massive as you, my old friend.”  Ward shot Kiros a wry smile.  “Give me a minute to get my voice modulator up and running and then you can help me get ready.”

Kiros rose, working the kinks out of his own body, and removed the small mechanism from its case.  It was no bigger than a playing card, about an inch thick.  The balaclava that the Esthar Police had provided for him had been outfitted with a small pouch that rested close to his cheek for the device to be hidden.  When activated, the gadget would electronically alter the speaker’s voice to a desired setting or accent.  The inflection Kiros had chosen was that of a Trabian rebel, sternly regarded as people not easily trifled with.  He felt that with that tone to his voice—no one would want to mess with him.

Kiros handed the activated modulator to Ward, then adjusted his disguise, the normal attire of a Trabian rebel.  The heavy robes were going to be stifling in the oppressive Esthar heat.  Ward carefully slipped the small device into the sheath within the scarf, and secured it with several small snaps.  He handed the accessory back to his friend, who slipped it over his head and face and wrapped the sides around tightly.  His entire facial structure was obscured, the only thing visible were his eyes.

Kiros was unrecognizable.

“I’ll be transmitting the whole time.  You’ll be able to hear everything that goes on through your walkie.  I won’t stray too far; you’ll always be able to see me, alright?”  The voice emanating from the mask was gravelly and harsh, and a full octave below Kiros’ normal range.

Ward clapped his friend on the back roughly, then handed him a pistol loaded with pepper balls.  The concern in his expressive eyes was evident.

“Don’t worry, Ward.  I’ll be perfectly safe.  I’m just going to ask around and hopefully we’ll get this son of a bitch so we can get out of this stinking hovel and drag his ass back to Laguna.”  Kiros concealed the weapon in the folds of his garment.

“…”

“You’ll get to hurt him first, I promise.”  Kiros began to climb out of the broken back window.  “I’ll keep in contact.  Be ready for my signal.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Ash watched the two men intently through carefully drawn back drapes.  He recognized one as a local who liked to shoot at the feet of passers-by with an air rifle.  He didn’t know his name, but knew that he had a big mouth.  He couldn’t be trusted.

 The other person was a mystery.

Tall.  Hooded.  Menacing.

And that made Ash very nervous.

They conversed for a long time, the local waving his hands around in the air dismissively as the enigmatic figure towered over him.  At one point, the robed person stuck a finger in the townie’s face, accusingly.

After a few long moments of heated conversation, the mysterious figure stiffened and looked as if he pressed a finger to the side of his head.  The local backed off, shaking his head.  Ash could barely make out what his lips were saying as he moved underneath an awning. 

_“You didn’t hear shit from me, got it?”_

The hooded figure stood for a moment, their head moving ever so slightly as if they were speaking.  A minute passed, Ash watching intently.  The local that had retreated looked up as the foreboding figure addressed him again. 

A wave of terror washed over him when the local pointed directly towards his home.  The enigmatic stranger turned to look, and a moment later a lumbering figure came chugging out of a back alley, a rifle in his hand.

Ash panicked.

It was Ward Zabac.

There was only one way out of his house, and it led directly to the two men who were now barreling towards his location.  It wasn’t the best course of action, but he had to run.  If he moved now, he could get a small head start on the pursuers.

He just hoped they didn’t know the streets like he did.

Ash took a deep breath and flung the front door open.

He ran like the wind.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Kiros flung the balaclava from his face, making it ten times easier to see Ash bolt out his front door.  He sprang into a full sprint, his long legs carrying him through the crowded streets with ease.  Ditching the long robes he wore, he was instantly faster, catching up to Ash at a remarkable speed.

Ward was hot on his tail, making an exceptional dash for such a large man.  He quickly overtook Kiros’ position as Ash darted into a back alley, drawing the rifle from the holster on his back as he ran.

They both turned down the corridor, Ash frantically trying to dodge boxes and barrels that stood in his way.  He tripped over a pile of metal scraps, and crashed to the ground.  As he stood, he felt the sting of projectiles hit his back, followed by the overpowering scent of mace.  He turned and was staring down the barrel of a rifle, ejecting pepper balls at an alarming rate.  He ducked out of the way of the volley, scurrying behind a box.  He waited as the small balls hit his cover, exploding and sending a fine mist of pepper spray into the air.  A few whizzed by his head, hitting the wall next to him.  He coughed violently as the substance permeated the surrounding area, making his eyes water and his throat sting. 

The onslaught finally stopped after a long moment.  Ash peered around the side of the box and saw Ward quickly loading another magazine into his weapon.

Ash knew this was more than likely his only chance to get away from him.

He scrambled to his feet and knocked the boxes aside in an attempt to slow the man down when he inevitably gave chase.  Ash’s eyes were burning, making it difficult to see where he was going.  He ran blind down the alley, tripping over refuse on the cobblestones, falling to his knees as he ran for his life.

Ward took this to his advantage and leapt into the air, narrowly missing Ash as he rose and scooted away.  The large man stomped his feet in anger and continued pursuing his prey. 

Watching the situation unfold in front of him, Kiros stopped in his tracks and turned, electing to try and cut Ash off at the end of the alley.  He doubled back around the adjacent building, hoping that there would be access to the backstreet from the other side.

There was.

Just as Ash was about to come to the end of the passageway, Kiros rounded the corner and punched him square in the face.  Ash’s glasses were knocked from his nose and fell to the ground, one of the lenses cracking under Kiros’ boot.  The startled man stumbled back and immediately turned around to run, only to find himself face to face with the lumbering giant. 

Ward grabbed him by the shoulders and body slammed him against the wall before throwing him to the ground.  And just like Kiros promised he could, exacted his punishment.

He sat on him.

Then he punched him in the ribs for good measure.

The man underneath him groaned in protest and tried to free himself, but was unable to under the enormous pressure of Ward’s weight.

Kiros kneeled next to his friend and their prisoner and grabbed Ash’s chin, wrenching his face up to the sky so he could get a clear look at him.  Ash’s nose may have been broken, his lip bloodied from the impact of Kiros’ fist and his eyes swollen and red from the pepper balls, but there was no mistaking.

Kiros knew that they had their man.

“William Ash, by the order of President Laguna Loire, you are under arrest.”

Ash scrunched his face and spat at Kiros. 

Ward dug his knuckles forcefully into the nape of Ash’s neck, then dragged him to his feet.  Kiros was ready with handcuffs.  He snapped them into place, purposely making them just a little too tight around Ash’s wrists.

“You thought you could stay hidden?  That you would get away with manipulating an innocent woman and potentially robbing her of everything she held dear?”  Kiros grabbed Ash by the shoulders.  “You messed with the wrong family.  And now you’re going to wish you had never been born.”  Kiros spat directly into the man’s eyes, repaying him for his previous offense.

Ash never flinched.

“Let’s get this son of a bitch out of here.  He has a date with Laguna.”

Ward gave the man a hard push, then looked back at Kiros with a pout.

“…”

Kiros rolled his eyes.  “You technically _did_ hurt him first.  With the pepper balls.  I didn’t break my promise, you big baby.”

They led Ash out into the street, people already gathering around trying to see what had happened. 

_That’s Ambassador Seagill!_

_Look!  It’s really Ward Zabac!  He’s bigger than I imagined!_

_Who the fuck is that guy?_

_Yo, doing Laguna’s dirty work for him?  Too scared to come here himself, huh?  What a pussy!_

Kiros and Ward marched Ash past the growing crowd.  When they had made it about fifteen feet, Kiros stopped.  Ward yanked on Ash’s shoulders and brought him to a standstill.  Kiros looked up at his friend, who immediately lifted Ash by the collar, eliciting a choke from the man as he dangled in the air.

“Look at this man!  Remember his face!”  Kiros’ voice boomed through the street.  He walked a circle around Ward and their prisoner, pointing at Ash.  “This man thought he could hide here!  That no one would ever find him in this miserable place!”  Kiros slapped Ash on the chest.  “He was wrong.  Let this be a warning to everyone today…no one here is your friend.  Everyone has their price.  Just because this place is known as ‘forbidden’ and ‘unmentionable’ doesn’t mean you can escape judgment!”

Ash struggled in Ward’s grip.  The crowd murmured.

Kiros continued, “By this time tomorrow, the whole world will know this man’s name…and the horrible atrocities that he committed will come to light.”  Kiros motioned to Ward and the large man dropped Ash to the ground.  He crumpled into the fetal position on the street, panting as he tried to breathe unhindered once more.  Kiros kicked him in the side and Ash spat blood onto the ground.  “Don’t think for one minute that the President doesn’t care about or is afraid of this place.  He knows what goes on here.  And believe you me, now that we know that the most wanted man in Esthar has been hiding here, you can bet your ass that this place will be cleaned up and dealt with.  The days of Heaven’s Hope being a safe haven for criminals in over!  Ward, pick that miserable piece of shit up and let’s get out of here.  This place stinks.”

Ward dragged Ash to his feet and pulled him as they walked towards the main gate of the slum.

 

 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Laguna jumped out of his desk chair when he heard Kiros’ designated ringtone emanate from his phone.  He frantically dug around in his pants pocket for the device.  He connected the call and fumbled the phone to his ear with trembling hands.

“Please say you got the bastard.”

Kiros’ voice was stronger than Laguna had ever heard it before.

“Ward sat on him, man.  He’s ours.”

 


	62. Phoenix:  Chapter Sixty-one

Phoenix:  Chapter Sixty-one

                Squall padded into the kitchen, finding Jane trying desperately to reach a box of pancake mix.  The shelf it was perched on was impossibly out of her reach.  She was swatting at it with a pair of kitchen tongs, trying to grasp the edge.  She stood on her tip-toes, swearing up a storm at the offending box.

“Come on, you motherfucker!”  She managed to move the box with the utensil, and it became precariously perched on the edge.  With her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth, she gave the box one last mighty swing and the entire thing came crashing down, spilling the contents all over her. 

“Fuck you, you whore of a box!”  She kicked the empty container across the floor, leaving a trail of mix in its wake.

Squall couldn’t contain his laughter.  The sight of his fiancée, covered in dry pancake mix and cussing like there was no tomorrow make him explode.  He had to hold his side as he cackled.  The movement of his chest hurt, but he couldn’t stop.

Jane turned at the sound, narrowing her eyes at him.  Her hair was caked in the powdery substance, as was her shirt front and pajama pants.  It had even settled on the lower rims of her glasses.  “Yeah sure, laugh at your pregnant fiancée who was just trying to make _you_ breakfast.”  She flipped him the bird.  “Put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Make your own damn pancakes.”

He approached her and took the utensil from her hand.  Squall used his palm to sweep some of the mixture that had piled on her shoulders, then pulled her in for a tight hug.  “You’re even sexier when you’re pissed.”  He felt her melt into his embrace.

Her voice was muffled as she buried her face in his chest.  “You’re lucky you’re hurt, Leonhart.  Otherwise I’d smack you like the bitch you are for laughing at me.”  She pushed back, scowled and put her hands on her hips.  “Great, now I have to clean this shit up.”

Without saying a word, Squall went to the small closet in the corner and got the broom and dustpan.  He began to sweep the offending powder into a pile, then handed Jane the scoop.  “I’d rather not bend down to get that.  If you would be so kind…”

Jane moved to snatch the broom from his hands, but he retracted it just before she could make contact.  “No way, Squall.  You’re recovering.”

He furrowed his brows.  “It’s just sweeping.  Besides, I’m feeling really good this morning.”

Jane huffed and bent down to collect the dust.  “Pretty soon I won’t be able to bend over.  Remember that when I need you to put my shoes on for me.” 

With the spilled powder deposited in the trash can, Jane went back to finding something for breakfast.  “Well, that was the last of the pancake mix.  Any other ideas for breakfast?”

Squall sat at the center island, accepting the cup of coffee Jane handed him.  “You really don’t have to make anything.  We slept pretty late.”  Squall looked at his watch.  “It’s almost eleven, anyway.  I’m really not that hungry.”

Jane scowled and put her hands on her hips.  “You’re not getting out of eating, Leonhart.  You need to get your strength back.”  She narrowed her eyes.  “Now choose something before I force your mouth open and start shoveling in whatever I can find.”  She picked up an avocado from the counter and wiggled it in the air with a smirk.

Squall smiled and relented.  “Alright, you win.  How about scrambled eggs?”

“That’s more like it.  Give me a minute.”

He watched as Jane went to the fridge and retrieved the eggs.  He tried to imagine what she would look like in a few months’ time, when her stomach would start to swell as the baby grew.  Squall chuckled inwardly, for he knew that she would be pissed that none of her legendary t-shirts would fit much longer. 

Maybe he could find her a maternity version of her “Fuck Off!” shirt. 

Jane had just begun to beat the egg mixture when Squall’s phone rang. He reached across the counter and picked it up.

**_Laguna—Home_ **

Squall activated the device and answered the call.  Laguna’s excited voice was so shrill Squall had to pull the phone away from his ear.

_“They got the bastard!  Ash is in custody!”_

Jane looked at him with a huge smile.  “Go kick his head in, Squall.  Wear your steel-toed boots, too.”

 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Laguna stared at the man sitting handcuffed to the chair.  He looked different from how he had imagined.  The president almost laughed at his appearance.

“He’s a nerd!  He doesn’t look like he could hurt a fly.”

Kiros moved in closer to his friend.  “Sometimes it’s the most unassuming ones that can cause the most damage.” 

“No one ever suspects them.”  Kiros and Laguna turned at the sound of Squall’s voice.  The young man walked slowly and confidently towards the two-way mirror.  He stood silently for a moment, his fist curled into a tight ball at the windowsill. 

Laguna moved closer to his son and placed a hand on his shoulder.  “I think it’s best if I go in first.  I’d like to talk to him.  You know, man to man.”  A smirk crossed his lips.  “Then you can come in and beat him senseless.”

Squall turned to his father, a rare smile gracing his face.  “Don’t take too long.  I might be recovering from major trauma, but I’m pretty sure I can still kick his ass.”

The door lock disengaged and Laguna readied himself for the confrontation of a lifetime. 

 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

The room was cold and sterile, just like it had been the day he got Raine back.  Laguna inwardly chuckled at the irony of the situation.  Ash was sitting in the very same room that Raine had been in months ago. 

The difference was: Raine was released; Ash would never again see the light of day.

Laguna would make sure of that.

Ash never looked at him as he crossed the threshold; instead he stared at the tabletop, his reflection shining back at him from the mirror finish.  His glasses had been returned to him, although Laguna doubted he could see much.  The right lens was cracked beyond repair.  His left eye was blackened from the force of Kiros’ punch, and dried blood was caked underneath a very swollen and obviously broken nose.  He slumped somewhat in his chair.  Laguna hoped it was because he had broken ribs.

Laguna approached and pulled the vacant chair out from the table, settling into it with a sigh.  He set down a piece of paper and a frame, then folded his hands on the table and waited silently. 

Ash lifted his head and stared directly at him, but said nothing.

Laguna narrowed his eyes. 

_It begins._

“So…William Ash.  We finally get to meet.”

Ash said nothingas he continued to stare daggers at Laguna.

“Aren’t you going to say anything for yourself?”

Ash finally spoke.  “What exactly do you want me to say?  I’m here, aren’t I?  We both know why.”

Laguna licked his lips.  “Yeah, but I want to hear you say it.  That you used Raine.  That you were stupid… _that we saw right through your little ruse and caught your ass._ ”

“Now why would I go and do a thing like that?”

Laguna inhaled deeply through his nose and held the breath for a moment before letting it go.  “You’re nothing but a pitiful coward, Ash.”

The shackled man sat silently, staring Laguna down.  The president decided it was time to switch tactics.

“You know, I wanted to feel sorry for you in the beginning, I really did.”

 “Don’t patronize me, _Laguna._ ”

Laguna cocked his head.  “Only my friends get to call me that.  It’s ‘Mister President’ to you.”

Ash snorted and rolled his eyes.

Laguna shook his head.  “There was a good chance that if you would have just come forward in the beginning, the moment you knew that Raine was my wife, that I would have exonerated you for your honesty.  I hated Odine as much as the next guy, and I would have almost certainly placed all the blame on him.  You would have been a hero, man.”  He took a deep breath.  “I know that Odine did the initial experiment, and that you were just an unwilling pawn…at first.”

Ash stared ahead in silence.

“I know that Odine blackmailed you to keep quiet.  That he forced you and Raine into the desert so I would never find out.  And you know what? If you had come forward—even then—I still would have more than likely shown you mercy.”  Laguna shook his head.  “It’s a shame that you had to throw your life away just because you were afraid of Odine.  He really wasn’t that tough, you know.  All bark, very little bite.”

Ash snarled.  “Then you obviously didn’t know him like I did.”

Laguna shrugged his shoulders.  “I guess we’ll never know, huh?”  He grabbed the letterhead that he had brought with him and held it up for Ash to see.  “We found this in your office.  Wanna know a secret?”

“Oh, _do tell_ , Mister President.”

“I didn’t send this.”

Laguna saw the color drain from Ash’s face and his eyes glazed over.

“Odine did.”  Laguna’s tone was steely.  He sat silently for a moment, rubbing his thumb over the crisp paper.  He watched Ash closely, waiting for a response. 

Ash’s breathing rate increased, but he stayed silent.

Laguna sighed heavily.  “Even then…after you received this phony letter…I probably would have _still_ let you off with light punishment.  I mean, you were pushed into a corner and lied to.  I’m a nice guy…I would have more than likely seen it from your perspective and sided with you, not Odine.”

Laguna set the letter down.  “I get it, man, I really do.  You fell in love.  We all have at some point in our lives.  And let’s face it; Raine’s an easy one to fall for.”  Laguna smiled broadly for a quick moment, then let his face fall slack, a commanding tone replacing his light one.  “But to want to hurt our family just because she didn’t reciprocate your feelings or because she still loved me…even after you _lied_ to her about me being killed…”

Laguna leaned forward on the table, bringing himself within a foot of Ash.

“…That’s…not…cool.”

Ash never backed away, never so much as blinked.  Laguna sat back in his seat once again.

“So, my sympathy for you ended there.  I started to get angry.  I mean, _really_ pissed.  I’m usually a pretty mellow guy, but this sent me over the edge.”  Laguna clenched his fist.  “When I thought about how you lied to her, broke her heart and kept her marooned in the desert without knowing the truth…how you brainwashed her to do your dirty work…it’s unforgiveable. You took her life away from her for over twenty years!  You tried to make her kill her own child!”

Laguna’s nostrils flared and he fought to keep his composure.  He could feel the heat welling up in his cheeks. 

_Don’t hit him, Loire.  Let him sweat._

“You two sniveling rats hurt her—you broke her by telling her I was dead.  You toyed with her feelings and thoughts, like it was some sort of game.  She nearly ended her own life while Squall was fighting for his in that hospital.  The emotional abuse you wreaked on her is far worse than anything you could have done to her physically.  Which, by the way, if I _ever_ find out that you hurt her like that—I _will_ kill you.”  He stared directly into Ash’s cold eyes.  “That’s a promise.”

Laguna stood and rounded the table.  Ash visibly stiffened when he got close.  The president stood behind the shackled man, putting his hands on his shoulders.  He could feel Ash’s muscles tense at the unexpected contact.

“I fantasized about killing you.  About putting my hands around your neck and squeezing…”  Laguna tightened his grip on Ash’s shoulders, kneading into them with his fingers.  “…watching your eyes bulge, your face turn red, then blue as your body fought for what little oxygen was left.  I imagined you clawing at my hands, begging me to let go…”

He released his hold on Ash’s shoulders and moved to kneel beside him.  “But then I said to myself, ‘Whoa!  Get a hold of yourself, man!  That’s not the kind of guy you are!’” 

Laguna stood once again, Ash’s eyes following him as he walked around the room, hands in pockets.  “Then I thought about how fantastic it would feel to sign the order to terminate your life.”

Ash’s breathing was erratic, and it was obvious that he was nervous.  Laguna had him just where he wanted him.  He needed him to feel fear:  dread over what was going to happen to him, whether or not he would live to see the next day.  He wanted him to experience—if only by a fraction—what he and his family had been through in the last week.

Laguna purposely kept silent for a long moment, relishing in Ash’s very apparent anxiety.  He circled the table twice, never speaking, never touching Ash again.

“But then I realized that there was a much better fate that could come to you.”  Laguna stopped directly in front of Ash and stared him down.  “Everyone says how lax Esthar’s prison system is, that it’s more like a vacation than a sentence.”  Laguna sighed.  “I’ll admit that it’s not your typical incarceration, but there really aren’t a lot of criminals here in our fine city.  I pride myself on the fact that—for the most part—Esthar is a peaceful place.  Sure, there’s some violent crimes that land a guy in the slammer, but your run-of-the-mill hoodlum spends a day at most in the precinct and is out by the next sunrise.”

Laguna placed his palms flat on the table and leaned in closer to Ash.  “What the oblivious people of Esthar don’t know is that there’s another prison.”  He quieted his voice to a low growl.  “It’s a throwback from Adel’s reign, and there’s not a whole lot of inmates.  You’ve heard of D-District, right?” 

Laguna stood and slapped himself comically on the forehead with his palm.  “Of course you have, duh Mister President!”  He rolled his eyes with self-deprecation.  “That’s where you got your body!”

Ash inhaled sharply.

“Oh yeah, we know about that.  How do you think we figured out you were alive in the first place?”  Laguna clicked his tongue in a scolding manner.  “Fingerprints, dumbass.”

Ash glared at him.

“Anyway…we were talking about D-District, right?  That place sure has a bad rap, and for good reason.  You know, Ambassador Zabac used to work there back in the day and has all kinds of gross stories. Like this one time, an inmate actually…” 

Ash interrupted him.  “Get on with it, Loire.  Say whatever intimidating thing is rolling around on that stupid tongue of yours.”

Laguna, annoyed by the interruption, narrowed his eyes and steeled his tone.  “My secret prison makes it look like an amusement park.”

Laguna noticed that Ash flinched ever so slightly.  He allowed a small grin to form at the man’s discomfort.  It was fun watching him squirm.

“I’ve never been down there myself--my advisors won’t let me--but from what I’ve heard…the guards are really crabby.  Hell, I guess I’d be grumpy too if I had to spend my days around the foulest of the foul inside a relic of a prison.  They take out their frustration on the prisoners. I hear they have some caged fiends down there that are really pissy.”  He inhaled deeply.  “You’re going to suffer more than you could possibly imagine.  And nothing can save you.  You know why?”

Ash stiffened in his chair.

“Soon the people of Esthar will know the truth.  How you brainwashed my wife and kept her from her family, how you faked your death and sent an innocent woman off to murder her own son in cold blood.”  Laguna clenched his jaw.  “They’ll know that you were apprehended for your crimes and that…”

Laguna paused briefly for emphasis, leaning in once again. 

“ _…you unfortunately succumbed to injuries sustained during your capture.”_

Ash finally flinched.

Laguna smirked.  “That’s right, Ash.  You want to be dead?  You can be…no one in Esthar will know that you’re still alive.  And that will make your incarceration really fun.” 

The president sat once again, picking up the frame that he had set face-down on the table.  He turned it towards himself for a moment and smiled, not allowing Ash to see the image it held.

“I have a present for you.  Think of it as a personal gift from my heart.  This will hang in your cell for the rest of your miserable life…”

He turned the frame around, showing Ash the official portrait of him and Raine.  Laguna smiled broadly.  “Isn’t she radiant?  It’s safe to say that she is truly the most beautiful creature on the planet…and I don’t look half bad myself!”  He puffed out his chest with pride. 

Laguna stood once again and circled the table, stopping directly beside Ash.  He shoved the frame close, holding it inches from the man’s face.  “I’m giving you this so you can look at it every day as you wallow away the rest of your wretched life.  You can see what you _can’t have_ …and what you failed to destroy.”

He stood silently for a long moment, the frame still pressed into Ash’s personal space.  Laguna loved the fact that he couldn’t fight back.

“This is going to hang on your wall forever.  And don’t think you can wreck it either, so you won’t have to see it.  The moment you deface it, another will be put in its place.  It will be a constant reminder of your failure.”  Laguna leaned his face in close, almost enough to touch noses with the captive man.  His voice was a gravelly whisper.  “She never loved you, Ash.  She loves me…and me alone.  _I_ get to see her smiling face every morning.  _I_ get to hold her in my arms and make love every night.  _I_ …get to have her forever.”  Laguna narrowed his eyes.  “You lost, Ash.  You’re nothing.”

Laguna set the frame down facing Ash.  He stood straight and tugged on the bottom hem of his shirt.  The door behind him opened, producing Squall.

“Well, now that I’ve said my piece, I’m going to leave you with Squall here, and…”  Laguna bent down close to Ash’s ear one more time and curled his hand around his mouth to whisper, “…he’s kinda cranky.”

Squall stood silently for a moment, surveying the room.  His gaze settled on the lone security camera in the corner of the ceiling.  He walked over and gingerly reached up, cradling his left side as he pulled the power cord from the socket.

“Oops.”

Laguna snickered.  “Too bad, Ash.  Looks like the camera’s broken.  Not like the footage would have worked in your favor anyway…you know, with you being dead and all.”  Laguna once again gripped the man’s shoulder.  “I hope you live a long and miserable life, Ash.  I want you to think about Raine every day.  How happy she is with her new life, and how you can’t do anything to hurt her anymore.”

Laguna didn’t know if he actually wanted an answer from the man or not.  He waited for a moment before walking to the door.  He was surprised to hear Ash’s voice behind him, feeble and frightened.

“You can’t leave me in here with him.  He’ll kill me.”

Laguna turned with a wry smile on his face.  “Silly man, you can’t kill what’s already dead.”

He walked out the door, closing it behind him as Squall approached Ash, punching one fist into an open palm.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

The door closed, leaving Squall alone with his prey.  It wasn’t the kind of confrontation he was used to; after all he preferred stalking his victims before landing the ultimate blow.  SeeD had trained him well in the art of the hunt, and he enjoyed it immensely.

He figured he’d just have to make do with what he had in front of him.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.  He twirled them around his index finger, taunting Ash.  He said nothing as he approached the man and rounded the chair.  Squall stopped behind him, jingling the keys in his hands.

Ash sat stiffly in his seat, his breathing obviously anxious.  Squall loved it.

After a long moment, he reached down and unlocked Ash’s cuffs, letting them clatter to the floor in a heap.  He then backed away and went around the front of the table.  He stood, arms crossed and waited.

Ash didn’t move.  His hands were still clasped behind the chair like they had been the whole time they were shackled.  The man swallowed hard, never taking his eyes off the young Commander. 

Squall rocked his neck back and forth, loud pops echoing throughout the room.  Staring at the man in front of him the whole time, he meticulously cracked each of his knuckles before narrowing his eyes.

He finally spoke.

“You do realize that I’m going to beat you within an inch of your life, right?”

Ash recoiled slightly in his seat, but never made a move. 

“Get up.”  Squall’s tone was commanding. 

Ash just stared at him for a long moment. 

Squall clicked his tongue.  “Alright, looks like we’re going to do this the hard way then.” 

Like a flash of lightning, Squall was on Ash in a heartbeat, grabbing him by the collar and throwing him against the wall.  The chair he was seated in clattered backwards and tipped over on the floor.  Squall kneed him in the stomach upon impact.  Ash groaned and crumpled in the young man’s grip.

“You actually thought you would get away with this?”  Squall shouted, landing a fierce uppercut directly into Ash’s jaw.  “You’re going to wish you had never been born!”  He punched Ash in the stomach and was rewarded with a pained grunt.  Squall smirked.

His hands never leaving Ash’s collar, he whipped him around and tossed him onto the metal table, the back of the prisoner’s head thudding as it made contact with the tabletop.  Squall towered over his prey, landing hit after hit to Ash’s bloodied face.  “You son of a bitch!  You used my mother!”  Squall pulled him up by the head and kicked him in the ribs.  His actions produced a wave of sharp pain from his surgical site, but he wasn’t about to stop now.

He needed his revenge.

 Ash got up from the table and slowly lunged for Squall, obviously in pain because he winced as he moved.  His movements were lumbering and slow.

“What’s wrong, Ash?  Hurts too much?”  Squall quickly moved behind him and swept Ash’s legs out from underneath him, sending the man tumbling to the ground.  His head made a sickening clunk as it hit the tile floor.  Squall took Ash’s prone position to his advantage and kicked him swiftly in the ribs.  Blood spurted from Ash’s lips.

Squall’s face was crimson, his lips snarling around his teeth.  His breathing was erratic.  He had never felt this way before.  Sure, he had been in dozens of physical fights with targets, but he had never felt such personal rage during an altercation before.  He felt frenzied.

Over and over again, his boot connected with Ash’s body before he finally grabbed the man under his arms and threw him against the two-way mirror.  He grabbed Ash’s face and twisted it awkwardly so it was pressed against the glass.

“Laguna’s watching this, you know.  He sees that you’re nothing but a coward, that you won’t even fight back.”  Ash’s face contorted with pain as Squall dug his fingers into his scalp.  He pulled the man’s head back and smashed it against the window.  A streak of blood was left in its wake.

Squall pulled him back and leaned him against the window, with his back to the other room.  He wrapped his hand around Ash’s neck.  The man’s eyes bulged in terror.  Squall smirked and stared into his eyes. 

And he squeezed.

Ash’s hands immediately began to claw at Squall’s own, trying to pry his fingers away.  Squall pressed his thumb into Ash’s throat, feeling his pulse running erratically underneath.  Ash’s face began to turn red.

“What’s the matter?  Can’t breathe?”  Squall narrowed his eyes.  “This is what I felt when I was lying on my father’s office floor with bullets in my lung.”  Ash gasped as his eyes rolled back into his head.  Squall could feel his body begin to fall slack.

With an exasperated sigh, he let go and Ash slumped against the window.  “Can’t have you dying on me…yet.”

Ash grabbed his throat and coughed, sucking air into his lungs.  He pushed himself up to a standing position.  Squall cracked his knuckles and clenched his jaw, his face flushed with anger.

“Fight me like a man, you weakling!”  Squall was enraged, fury seething in his ice blue eyes.  He darted out of the way quickly as Ash, able to function again, finally struck back, trying to punch him in the face. 

“There you go!  Show me what kind of man you really are!”  Squall taunted him by faking a quick punch towards his abdomen, only to pull back and back away.  Ash charged at Squall, growling.  The commander easily avoided the clawing hands of the man, chuckling.  “That’s all you got?  Come on, Ash!  Hit me!  You wanted me dead…here’s your chance to do it with your bare hands!”

Squall stood mockingly, arms spread wide as if he were inviting the attack.  Ash hunched over, breaths heaving from his chest.  Blood dripped from his nose and mouth.

Squall was getting annoyed.  “Whatever, you asked for it, Ash.”

Seconds later, Ash had been knocked to the ground once more, Squall straddling him as he feverishly pounded the man’s face with both fists.  Ash just lay there.

“No one hurts my family!  No one hurts my mother!”  Squall’s knuckles were beginning to split.  He couldn’t tell if the blood on them was his…or Ash’s.

He was getting exhausted.  He gave one more strike directly to Ash’s already broken nose and got up, his whole body shaking with anger.  He stared down at Ash, who had rolled into the fetal position on the floor and was…

_Is he crying?_

Squall felt a smug sense of satisfaction as he watched the man weep.  “Your miserable life means nothing.  You’re trash.”  He kicked him one last time in the side of the head.  Squall’s chest was heaving with exertion.  It was hard to catch his breath.  “So long, you wretched fuck.  Burn in Hell.”

Squall turned and walked towards the door, which opened as he approached.  Ash’s gasps echoed off the walls.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_A/N:  I have a shirt just like Jane’s vulgar one.  It’s a cute little teddy bear flipping the bird saying, well…you know.  I can’t wear it anymore though—my little dude can read.  *looks innocent*  And yes, I employ the use of tongs daily to get things out of the cabinets.  Curse you, short legs!_


	63. Phoenix:  Chapter Sixty-two

Phoenix:  Chapter Sixty-two

**The Next Day**

                “Mister President, you really don’t have to do this yourself.” 

Laguna turned from the window in the Press Secretary’s office.  He smiled sincerely.  “Yes I do, Sam.  The people deserve to hear the truth directly from me.”

Secretary Jorden shook her head.  “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, Sir.  I mean, I’m trained to handle those vultures.  You’re…not.”

Laguna flicked his hand at her dismissively.  “I’ll be fine.  They don’t scare me!”  He puffed his chest out with a childish grin.

“Maybe you should listen to her, Laguna.”  Squall’s voice was strong and sure.  “They’re going to come at you with all sorts of questions.  What are you going to tell them?”

Laguna’s smile turned serious.  “The truth.  That your mother was used.”

Squall raised an eyebrow.  “The _whole_ truth?”

Laguna scowled.  “Hey, we’ve discussed what we’re going to say about Ash’s ‘unfortunate mishap.’  I know what to say.”

“I just want to make sure that you won’t get nervous and choke.  This is heavy stuff, Laguna.”

The President approached his son and lightly clapped him on the back.  “I’ve got this.  I may be goofy every once and a while, but I’ve been doin’ this President gig a long time.  I know how to talk to my people.  And they’ll believe me.”

A feminine voice chimed in.  “I want to go out there with you.”

Squall and Laguna both turned to Raine, words leaving their mouths at the exact same moment.

“Not a chance.”

The two men looked quizzically at each other before turning their attention back to Raine. 

Laguna spoke first.  “There’s no telling how the press will react to the news.  If you’re out there, they’re gonna _bombardier_ you with questions.”

Raine chucked.  “I think you mean ‘bombard.’”

Laguna rolled his eyes.  “Whatever.  This is serious, Raine.  They’ll eat you alive, honey.”  He stood close and wrapped his arms around her tiny waist.  He looked straight into her eyes.  “In time, when and if we feel like explaining ourselves more, we will.  But for now, you need to be protected.”

She melted into his embrace.  “Alright.”

The door opened and Samantha’s assistant poked his head in.  “Mister President, they’re starting to get restless out here.”

Laguna broke his embrace with Raine and turned to walk out the door.  “Wish me luck!”

Raine blew him a kiss.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

The flashbulbs stung Laguna’s eyes.  He squinted as he found his place behind the podium.  “Hey guys, watch it with the flashes!  My eyes are old!”  He figured a little light banter could possibly lighten the mood.  “You guys can sit.”

The press pool obeyed and Laguna took a deep breath.  A sincere smile crossed his lips. 

“I’m here today to update you on the investigation regarding my son, Commander Leonhart.”

The reporters murmured loudly. 

“Before I start, I just want to let you all know that I won’t be taking any questions.  So just sit and listen, okay?”  He raised his eyebrows and smiled.  “First off, I want to thank everyone in Esthar and around the world for their outpouring of support and well wishes for both Squall and our family.  This has been a horrible two weeks, and it all helped us through.”

The press pool quieted and the reports poised themselves to record their notes.

Laguna swallowed hard.  “The investigation into my son’s attack has been completed.”  He hesitated. For a moment, he wished he would have let Sam do the conference. 

But there was no going back now.  He was going to name Raine as the suspect.

“Squall was…”  He took a deep breath.  “…shot by his own mother, Raine.”

The reporters gasped in unison.

Laguna looked down at his prepared notes, then tossed them aside.  He was just going to speak from the heart.

“This is all going to make sense, guys.  I promise.  Just, listen, okay?  You all know that Raine was brought back to life.  What we didn’t tell you was that it wasn’t some privately funded science group that did it.  And I’m sorry for deceiving you like that.  Truth is…”  He looked to Sam, standing off the side.  “…it was Doctor Odine.”

More gasps from the peanut gallery. 

“At first, he didn’t know that she was my wife.  The records that came from our hometown listed her maiden name.  It wasn’t until years later that he made the connection, when she started to remember certain things about her former life.  Him and...another doctor.”

The reporters were feverishly trying to record everything he was saying.

“This man, Doctor William Ash, also knew who she was, and he along with Odine decided to hide her from me, rather than risk their careers by coming forward.  They lied to her about me being assassinated so she would never try to contact me.  They also cut her off from all media so she would never know the truth.  They knew they’d be in a world of hurt if I found out my deceased wife had been experimented on. Odine forced them out into exile on the Great Plains and washed his hands of the whole situation.”  Laguna paused to take a deep breath.

_This is going…okay._

“Doctor Ash and my wife lived a quiet life for many years, always scared of Odine and his cronies.  They didn’t bother anyone and made no attempt to contact Esthar because of threats made by Odine.”

_“Don’t say anything about the letter, Laguna.” Sam had said.  “They don’t need to know.  It’ll just make them want to dig.”_

“Doctor Ash was an unstable individual who eventually fell in love with Raine.  She rejected him, and it sent him down a dark path.”  Laguna lowered his eyes.  He hated thinking about what Raine must have gone through during her time at the lab.  “He decided to use her to hurt our family, to get back at both of us because she loved me and not him.  He began to…brainwash her…using a little ear-thingy that she thought played soothing sounds to help her sleep.  He programmed it to send messages into her brain.  Instructions to…”

Laguna closed his eyes for a moment to calm his nerves. 

“…it told her to kill Squall.”

The press were silent.

Laguna continued.  “He knew that by wounding or killing our son, he would hurt us worse than had he killed me.  Not only would Raine be haunted by the death of her son, but the guilt that she had caused the whole thing.  Ash wanted our family to be torn apart.  He used a trigger phrase in the earpiece for years while they were at their lab, and after Raine had been home for a while, he sent her a box with a gun and a letter with the message on it.  It was like, her brain switched gears, guys.  She was in a trance.  She just…walked into my office and shot him.”  His voice was meek, sad.  

Laguna looked out at the reporters with pleading eyes.  “Look, you have to understand why we kept the information from you for so long.  We were trying to figure out just why she had done it, and we were all trying to get through those first couple of days after.  You guys don’t know just how close to death my son really was.  It was bad.  He actually died for a couple of minutes.”

Laguna scrubbed his fingers over his mouth, wiping away the tiny bit of sweat that had accumulated on is upper lip.

“And then, just when we were about to give up hope, Ambassador Seagill and his genius mind figured out the whole kit and caboodle.  He worked for days, going over evidence, sifting through hundreds of files we took from Ash’s lab complex back when Raine was found.”  Laguna talked with his hands, animatedly waving them as he spoke.  “He found the trigger phrase in clinical notes, had the earpiece analyzed, and came to the conclusion that she had been made to commit the crime.  And here’s the kicker…”

Laguna smiled and shook his head, as if he were still in disbelief.

Which he sort of was.

“…he figured out that Ash wasn’t dead.”

Another gasp from the collective mouths of the crowd.

“You remember the Medical Examiner getting fired last week?  Turns out he never fingerprinted the body that came in when Ash was ‘murdered.’  If we would have, it would have been obvious from the very beginning that it wasn’t him.  It was some convict that was ill-gotten by Ash from D-District.  Be sure and swamp the Warden there with all sorts of questions.”

Laguna smirked, obviously proud of his suggestion. 

“Ash bought the body, faked his death and disappeared.  Just waiting for the chance to strike.  He waited until we were all happy again and then he sent his letter.  He figured he would sit back and watch our family crack apart.  And he thought he would get away with it.” 

Laguna got an apologetic look on his face.  “I truly am sorry for keeping information from you all.  But you have to understand that if we would have come forward, Ash would have tried to run for it.  And we needed secrecy to find him…which Ambassadors Seagill and Zabac did yesterday in Heaven’s Hope.”

Laguna straightened his posture.  “William Ash was apprehended after a long chase which ended in him sustaining very severe injuries.  Unfortunately, he died as a result of them.  I won’t lie when I say that I wish he had survived so he could have experienced a trial, or at least five minutes alone with me.”  Laguna smirked, and to his surprise, some of the reporters laughed.

“He’s gone now, and Raine is back with us where she belongs.  Squall is recovering and we’re all just trying to get back to a normal life.”

Laguna was stunned by the silence of the group in front of him.  He had expected them to erupt in a cacophony of questions, but they sat silently.  Staring at him.

Laguna scratched the back of his neck.  “Look guys, I know that this is really kooky and…that it might take some time to actually believe it.  But…it’s the honest truth.  Mrs. Loire was used in sick game.  First by Odine, then Ash.  I just hope that you can forgive us for not coming clean sooner, and that everyone will still trust me as their President after all this shit.”  Laguna’s eyes widened and he clapped his hand over his mouth, his voice muffled by his palm.  “Oops!”

The press laughed.  A young reporter stood.  “Mister President, this isn’t a question, so please hear me out.”  She looked around at her colleagues.  “I hope that I speak for the majority of us here when I say that we are loyal to you.  We believe you and still trust you with not only our country but our lives.  In a way, your family is also the family of every resident of Esthar and we all want what’s best for family. ” She held her hand over her heart.  “I for one am just glad that the First Lady is exonerated and that Commander Leonhart is alright.  This must have been terrible for your family, and to have the added burden of going through this in the public eye and knowing that you would have to come out eventually, well—that takes balls, Mister President.  No offense.”  She smiled wryly.

Laguna laughed.  “None taken.  Thanks guys…for everything.  For giving us our space when everything was going to hell, for being understanding about why we kept things from you.  But most of all, for your continuing support as we all heal.  As a family—and a nation.”

Laguna backed away from the podium as Samantha joined him.  She replaced him behind the lectern as he walked back to her office, waving at the cameras. 

As he shut the door behind him, he could hear Sam’s voice start to field the thousands of questions that were inevitably coming.

And he was okay with that.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

Raine felt relieved to have that damn monitoring bracelet off her leg.  She rubbed the raw area it left behind gently with some lotion, wincing as the irritated skin protested.  As she massaged her ankle, she couldn’t help but think about that morning’s press conference.

Even though it seemed as though the shared sentiment of the reporters—and the citizens thus far, as shown by flowers that had already been delivered to the palace—was extremely sympathetic and caring, she still couldn’t help but feel guilty about the situation.  The people had been misled, albeit for a good reason, and she hated it.  She didn’t want to give the residents of Esthar any reason to mistrust or doubt their President or his family.  And yet, they had blatantly lied about Ash still being alive.  Laguna and Sam had both reminded her that it was for the best, and she understood why.  But it ate at her knowing it was all because of what she had done.

_No, Raine.  It was because of what Ash had done.  Don’t beat yourself up any more.  He is the only one at fault._

Ash.

She knew he was in the Palace.  More than likely in the basement holding cells of the police precinct, and that it was only a matter of time before he was moved to his permanent home in the gritty underworld of Esthar’s secret prison.

Raine had told Laguna she wanted to come with when he confronted Ash.  That she wanted to lay eyes on him.  The president immediately shot the idea down.  He wanted to protect her.  They had no idea what Ash was going to do or say, and until they could get a better read on him, Laguna had not been willing to subject Raine to any unnecessary emotional turmoil.

_“Out of the question, Raine.”_

_Raine scowled, crossing her arms over her chest.  “Why the hell not, Laguna?  I have every right to see him.”  She felt her anger rising._

_Laguna moved closer and tried to put his arms around Raine, only to have her move back defiantly.  His shoulders sagged.  “I just don’t want you to get hurt.  He’s a snake, honey.  He’ll only try and rile you up.”_

_Raine stood her ground. “I’m not some fragile little butterfly.  I can take care of myself.”  She pursed her lips.  “Laguna, I need to do this.  He needs to see that he didn’t win.”_

_“But Squall and I already took care of that.  He’s going to spend the rest of his miserable life thinking about what he can’t have.”_

_Raine hung her head.  “You just don’t understand, Laguna.”_

_Laguna approached her again, this time able to embrace her.  He nuzzled his chin into her hair.  “You’re right, I don’t understand.  I don’t get why you’d want to subject yourself to him again.”  He sighed heavily and was quiet for a long moment.  “I don’t see what you think you’d gain by talking to him.”_

_Raine buried her face into his chest, muffling her voice.  “I just want some closure.  I don’t really know what I’m going to say. ”  She pushed back slightly and looked into Laguna’s eyes, a devious glint appearing.  “Who knows, I might just kick him in the nuts and be done with it.”_

_Laguna chuckled briefly, then turned serious again.  “If it’s what you really want, we can go anytime.  He won’t be moved until tomorrow.”_

_Raine looked into his eyes, a hesitant look on her face.  “I…”  She lowered her eyes.  “…I don’t want you to come with me.  This is something I need to do alone.”_

_Once again, Laguna shook his head.  “No, Raine.  There’s no telling what he’ll try and say to you if I’m not there.”_

_“Probably the same thing he’d say if you were there.  He’s not afraid of you, Laguna.”_

_Laguna scoffed.  “Well, he should be.  I plan on making his life miserable.”_

_Raine patted his chest.  “And for that I am eternally grateful.”  She stood on her toes and kissed the tip of his nose.  “So, does this mean I can do this myself?”_

_Laguna closed his eyes and sighed heavily.  “I don’t like it, Raine.  But…you know yourself better than anyone else.  If it’s what you need to do for your sanity, then I guess I can’t object.”_

_Raine smiled softly.  “Thank you, Laguna._  

Raine knew Laguna was just looking out for her emotional well-being, but she needed to confront Ash.  To hold him accountable for what he had done—and tried to do. 

He needed to see that she wasn’t afraid of him.

That he had failed.

The door chime startled her from her thoughts.  She capped the lotion bottle and set it on the table.  As she walked towards the door, she stopped briefly to check on the cooling coffee cake on the center island of the kitchen.

She opened the door to find Jane.

The young woman smiled awkwardly, peering at Raine over the rims of her glasses. 

“Jane, what a wonderful surprise!”

Jane looked down at her feet, tapping them on the crystalline floor.  She bit her lower lip as she looked up to make eye contact.  “Hello, Mrs. Loire.  I, uh…we haven’t really…”  She blew out a long exasperated breath.  “…fuck.  I really want to talk to you about, you know…all this shit.”

Raine looked at her sympathetically and extended her hand.  Jane surprised her when she placed hers in Raine’s palm and allowed herself to be led into the house.

“Smells good in here.”  Jane looked into the kitchen.  “Squall’s gonna want a piece of that, you know.”  She offered a faint smile.

“That’s why there’s another one ready to go.  I’ve learned quite a bit about him in the last few months.”  She took Jane out onto the balcony. 

The two women sat, Jane very quiet for a long moment.  She stared out at the city.  Raine decided to stay silent and let the younger woman take the reins for the conversation.  It was obvious to Raine that Jane was uncomfortable:  she was fidgeting her legs under the table, chewing on her lower lip and not making much eye contact.  Whatever it was she wanted to talk about, it was heavy.

Jane finally spoke.  “Look, I don’t know how to start this conversation, so I’ll just come out and say it.”  She looked Raine in the eyes.  “I don’t want to sound like a bitch or anything, but I’m still having a hard time coming to grips with this whole mess.  I mean, just because everyone else seems to be able to forgive you at the drop of a hat doesn’t mean I can.”  She sighed heavily.  “I…hated you so much that day.  Even after Laguna told me that he knew you weren’t yourself, I still did.  Maybe it’s my hormones talking, I don’t know.”

Raine felt as if a dagger had been driven through her heart.  Here, she thought she had earned forgiveness from every member of the family, and yet, here Jane was telling her otherwise.  Even though she knew the young woman had every right to be angry with her—to hate her—it still stung.

She knew that she had to tread carefully.  She still didn’t know Jane very well, especially when it came to emotional situations like this.  She didn’t know quite how to proceed or what to say, so—she went with her gut. 

It was time to be honest.

“I understand.  And it’s not your hormones.  You have every right to be angry with me.”

Jane looked down at the tabletop and picked at the seam of caulk holding the glass in place.  “I just wish there was a way for me to not feel like this anymore.  It’s like I can’t move past it.  Everyone else is moving on and here I am, stuck.  I feel like such an ass.  Hyne, I must sound like such a spoiled brat right now.”  She finally looked at Raine.  “All those nights, siting with Squall in the hospital—I had a lot of time to brood.  All I could think about was how the fuck you could do such a horrible thing.  And even after I knew about Kiros’ investigation and all the new evidence…I still felt that way.”

“Don’t _ever_ apologize for your feelings.  They’re yours and you have every right to feel the way you do.  But listen…”  Raine reached out and grasped Jane’s fingers.  “This awful burden is mine to bear and no one else’s.  I know what Ash did, what he made me do, and even though the truth has come out and I’ve been exonerated,  I’ll still have to live every day of the rest of my life knowing that I tried to take the life of my son.  Whether it was of my own free will or not.  Nothing will change that.”

Jane shook her head.  “But how are you going to move past it?  It’s like I can’t stop thinking about it.  It overtakes my thoughts.”

Raine smiled sympathetically.  “Jane, sweetheart, I don’t plan to move past it.  It’ll always be a part of who I am…who I became when I came back to this family.  The best we can hope for is that we can all heal in time.  None of you need to worry yourselves on the past.  It’s my guilt and I’m the only one who should have to live with it.”

“Have you, you know, seen… _him_?”

Raine shook her head.  “Not yet.  Laguna doesn’t want me to see him at all, but I’m going to need to.  For my own sanity.  I want to look him in the eyes and tell him that he’s nothing but a lowlife. I want him to see me one last time to know that he didn’t break me.”

Jane nodded.  “Well, I’m sorry if I wrecked your day by bringing this up.”  She offered a weak smile.  “Squall and I agreed that I really needed to get this off my chest with you.”

Raine squeezed Jane’s hand.  “I’m glad you came to talk.  We all deal with our feelings in different ways, but we should never bottle them up.  You especially…it’s bad for the baby.”

“Giving pregnancy advice already?”  Jane smiled and chuckled.  “I know stress isn’t good for me right now.  That’s why I’m glad I got to air my grievances.  I feel a lot better now that I’ve talked to you.  I know it’s not going to happen today and probably not tomorrow either, but in time I’ll be able to get past everything.  I just ask that you let me be angsty every once and a while, okay?”

“From what I’ve heard about angst, you’ve got a great teacher in Squall.”  Jane laughed at the comment.  “But I will most certainly let you work on this in your own time frame.  I know that there’ll be good days and bad, but in the end I’m confident that our whole family will come through this stronger than we ever were before.”

Jane agreed.  “You’re right.  Leonharts and Loires are a tough breed.  This baby’s going to keep us all on our toes.”  She held her abdomen and looked longingly out at the city.  “Speaking of, what do you think about this whole grandchild business?”

Raine grinned from ear to ear.  “I couldn’t be happier.  Our family desperately needs something for us all to look forward to and be happy about right now, and I’d say that two weddings and a grandbaby take the cake!”  She leaned in closer to Jane.  “How do you feel about all this?”

Jane sighed exasperatedly.  “Scared shitless.  I mean, this so totally was _not planned_.  But, you gotta work with what life throws you, huh?  I’m just not very maternal, so this should be…interesting.  Squall thinks the baby will come out swearing.” 

“You guys are going to be great parents.  You’re both intelligent, caring and energetic.  You’ll do great—and you’ll have lots of help from us.  If you want it, that is.”

“I’m going to hold you to that offer at three in the morning when he or she is teething and screaming.”

Raine laughed.  “I never got to experience any of this with Squall, so I don’t know how much advice I can give.  But I promise I’ll be there for you whenever you need help.  Even in the wee hours of the morning.”

Jane stood.  “I had better get going.  Thanks for, well…everything.  For letting me vent, for the advice.  I feel a lot better about the situation now.  I know that we all have healing to do, but I’m confident now that we’ll all persevere and make it through.  Now, if I could just make it through morning sickness, I’d be a happy girl.”

Raine rolled her eyes.  “Squall made me so ill; I couldn’t even keep down crackers for a month.  It’s the Leonhart blood.  Get used to it.”

Jane shook her head.  “Great.  Just great.”

Raine chuckled, embracing Jane in a tight hug.  Feeling Jane reciprocate, she felt very much at ease.

_Life’s moving on._

_Now I just have to remove Ash from my life once and for all._


	64. Phoenix:  Chapter Sixty-three

Phoenix:  Chapter Sixty-three

                The cold air of the police precinct gave Raine goose bumps, and she shivered as she walked down the sparsely inhabited halls towards the Captain’s office.  It was early Friday evening, and most of the officers had gone home for the day.  Laguna and the Captain had agreed that it would be the best time for Raine to see Ash. The only other people who knew the doctor was alive outside the family were the Captain and the guard assigned to Ash—who was a longtime friend and loyal officer to the boss.

Ash was being held in a rarely-used isolation cell.  The story circulated to anyone who cared was that there was a prisoner with meningitis inside, and that no one was allowed to go near.  With the threat of a very unpleasant communicable disease hanging over the precinct, no one dared question the Captain—or went anywhere close to the cell.

As she approached the Captain’s door, she tried to mentally go over what she was going to say to Ash.  There was so much she wanted to express, and a few things that she wanted to do.  She just hoped she had the fortitude to go through with it.  This was her only chance.  He was being moved tonight, never to be seen again.

She stopped a few feet from the office and leaned up against the wall.  Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and prepared herself.  She willed herself to stay calm and in the moment.  Everything in her being was telling her not to explode and act crazy, even though her impulsive side begged for it.  She wanted to lash out, to strike him over and over again until he was bleeding and incoherent. 

Then she remembered that he son had done just that.

And she felt instantly better.

A small smirk crossed her lips at the thought of Ash lying bloodied and broken at Squall’s feet.

She composed herself and chimed the Captain’s door.  He immediately answered, letting her in remotely from his desk.

“Come on in, Mrs. Loire.  Have a seat, the last of the stragglers should be leaving soon and we can go.”  He gestured to a dirty coffeemaker on the windowsill.  “Coffee?”

“No, thank you.”  Raine sat, folding her hands in her lap.  She looked around the office.  Framed certificates and awards hung on the walls, the shelves lined with medals and trophies.  “You certainly are a recognized man, Captain.”

 “Thank you, Ma’am.  I’ve been with this department for a long time.  I just hope after what happened…”  He averted his eyes.  “…that the President still feels that I’m fit for duty. I’m so sorry that…”

 “You don’t have to apologize.  Mistakes were made, yes, but in the end everything was resolved and is under control.  We don’t need to dwell on the past.”   Raine wanted to ream him out for his lack of manpower and time put into the case and his initial treatment of her, but like she had said—it was in the past.  No more time needed to be spent on it.

The Captain nodded.  “Thank you, Mrs. Loire.  From the bottom of my heart.”  He checked his watch and rose from his chair.  “Give me a minute to make sure the coast is clear and I’ll take you down there.”  He went to the door and turned back to her before he opened it.  “You sure you want to do this?”

 “Absolutely.”

He nodded silently and went to make his rounds.

Raine was alone in the dark office, the monitors and computer displays on the walls and desk offering the only available light.  She listened as the Captain’s footsteps echoed down the deserted hallway, and could hear the “whoosh” noise of doors being opened and closed as he checked for any more officers.

A few moments later he returned and motioned for her to come with.  “Looks like everyone is gone for the day.  The night shift guys are all camped out in the front office, so we’re clear.”

Raine stood and pulled on her blouse.  She straightened the pleats in her skirt and followed the Captain.  He poked his head out the door one more time and looked both ways down the hall before motioning for her to follow.  They went several feet down the hall and took a right, heading towards the holding cells.  His friend was on duty that night, as they had planned.

“Evening, ‘Cap, Mrs. Loire.”  The officer tipped his hat to Raine.  “Go right in.”  He disengaged the lock to the holding area.  “I’ve already moved him into the holding cell.  I’ll unlock it when I see you’re there.”  He tapped the monitor in front of him with a smile.

The pair entered wordlessly, making their way down the long hallway.  When they reached what seemed like the end, they stopped.  The wall in front of them slid upwards, exposing another—much shorter—hall.  Raine looked quizzically at the Captain, who offered a wry smile, then took her arm gently, leading her inside.  The wall slid shut behind them.

The next room was small; enough room for only three or four people to stand.  A closed door was directly in front of them.  The Captain approached a small video screen next to it and punched in a few numbers, causing an image to appear on the monitor.

Ash.

He sat at the table, cuffed hands clasped together and resting on top.  He stared ahead.

“No one’s gonna think any less of you if you back out now, Ma’am.  He doesn’t even know you’re coming.”

Raine turned to look at the Captain.  “Thank you for the offer, but I’m fine.  Please open the door.”

  
“The President told me you want to go in alone.  You sure about that?”  He looked concerned.

“Positive.  This needs to be between us.”  Raine’s voice was determined.

The Captain nodded and released the lock.  The door opened.  “Alright.  I’ll be right outside, watching on the screen.  He’s chained to the chair—which is in turn chained to the table.  He won’t be able to get up.”  He placed a hand on her shoulder.  “I’ll be in there in a heartbeat if he tries anything.”

Raine smiled sincerely, then changed to a smirk.  “Thank you.  But…will you be in if _I_ try something?  You know, just in case my fist breaks his face, or anything.”

The Captain chuckled.  “No Ma’am.  If your fist should find a mind of its own, well…so be it.”  He winked.

Raine’s eyes twinkled with mischief.  “I’ll keep that in mind.”  She took a deep breath and entered the room. 

Cracking her knuckles.  Just in case.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

 

She could feel his eyes pierce into her as soon as she stepped over the threshold.  She held eye contact as she approached the table silently and came to a stop behind the vacant chair.  She heard the door close behind her.

They were alone.

Ash was bruised and broken, his nose askew at the top, both eyes blackened.  A bulging goose-egg protruded from his forehead, centered within it an oozing cut.  Several stitches held his lower lip together.  Large, ugly bruises lined his throat.  Raine wondered which damage was the product of Kiros and Ward—and what was Squall.

She didn’t quite know how to proceed. 

He stared her down, a half smirk on his face.  He ran his tongue over the puckered line of stitches on his lower lip.  “Hello, Raine.”

Raine clenched her jaw.  “Don’t you dare say my name.  You’re not worthy of that.  Just sit there and listen.”  She balled her fist.  “You’re pathetic, Ash.  You know that?”

He sat silently, peering up at her over the rims of his broken glasses.  He never moved.

“You thought you could use me to do your dirty work, to break our family.”  She grabbed the back of the chair and leaned in over it slightly.  “But you know what?  You _failed._   You’re nothing but a worthless loser.”  She narrowed her eyes.

Ash looked at her for a long moment. 

Raine shook her head and gazed at him.  “You know, all those years that we worked together…when I thought you were trying to help me regain my life, they were good times.  I trusted you.  Yeah, I missed Laguna and was heartbroken about his death.   I wanted to have a ‘normal life’, just like anyone else.”  She swallowed hard.  “But I knew deep down that it probably wasn’t going to happen.  And you know what? I was okay with it.  We were happy little family, you and I.”

Ash continued to stare silently, showing no emotion whatsoever.

 “I really did feel bad that night I rejected your advances.  I knew how lonely I was out there on the Plains, and that it must have been just as hard for you.  I mean, I couldn’t blame you for having those feelings.”  She twirled her wedding band absently around her finger.  “But to want to hurt me and my family just because you couldn’t stand to be scorned like that-- _you’re a monster_.” 

Ash’s eyes were cold and sinister as he watched her. 

“I’ve never been a hateful person.  But you…”  Raine lowered her voice to a mere whisper.  “…you made me feel hatred like I had never experienced before.”

Raine stood straight and sighed.  Ash sat silent and unmoving, his eyes boring into her like a drill. 

“There are so many things I want to say to you.  I thought about screaming at you because you made me hurt my son, crying because I felt sorry for myself, but you know what?”  Raine smiled and a small laugh escaped her lips.  “I _just_ realized that you’re not worth it.  Nothing I can say will change the fact that you’re just an evil ogre who won’t be fazed by anything that I throw at you.”

Raine circled the table slowly and stood next to Ash, just out of arm’s reach from the man.  “I’m not even going to waste my breath.”  She balled her fist up, causing the knuckles to whiten.  “I might hit you, though.”

Ash turned to look at her and finally spoke.  His voice was loud and commanding.  “Hit me, you bitch!  I know you want to!”

Raine cocked her hand back.  Every fiber of her soul was telling her to lash out and knock what remained of his teeth out of his head.  She wanted to see him bleed.

“You’re such a cocktease, Raine.  Don’t pretend that you aren’t enjoying this.”  He leaned over and sneered at her over the rims of his glasses.  “Admit it; you wondered what it would have been like.  You dreamt about us together.  You can still have that chance.  I’m right here.”  He licked his lips.  “Bring that pretty little mouth of yours down here and show me what a naughty girl you are.”  He looked down at his groin, then back to her.

Rage welled up inside of her.  She narrowed her eyes, ready to strike.  Her fist flew as if it had a mind of its own.  But, she stopped herself just short of making contact with his already broken nose.

_No._

Raine stood there, trembling,  for a moment.  She shook her head as she whispered.  “No.  I’m not going to give you the satisfaction of thinking I hit you just because you wanted me to.”  She backed up and began moving backwards towards the door.  “You can’t control me anymore, Ash.  I’ll never be your puppet again.”

She turned her back on him and waited for the door to open.

“Don’t you walk away from me, Raine!  It was your fault!  You pulled the trigger!”  Ash’s voice echoed off the walls.  He writhed in the chair, rocking it back and forth on its legs.  “You’ll always be to blame!”

Raine closed her eyes and sighed.  Even as Ash tried his best to rile her, she was at peace.  She was contented with leaving him as the raving lunatic that he had shown himself to be.  She knew she never had to waste her time thinking about him ever again.

_Let him yell.  He can’t hurt me anymore.  Nothing was my fault._

_My son is alive._

_My son loves me._

The door slid open and Raine left.


	65. Phoenix: Epilogue

Phoenix:  Epilogue

**Seven Months Later**

                “Laguna!  Get out of here!”  Raine threw one of her shoes at the door.  “You’re not supposed to see me in my dress, it’s bad luck!”

Childish laughter echoed down the hallway as the President ran away. 

Raine turned back to the mirror.  She admired herself, the shimmering ivory gown dotted with hundreds of glittering crystals flowing as she twisted in place.  Her only problem was that she was off-balance seeing that her shoe was on the floor adjacent to the door.

“Aunt Raine?  C’mon and sit down so I can do your hair.”  Ellone beckoned her with a hairbrush. 

“Just let me get my shoe.  Your Uncle’s lucky it didn’t clock him in the face.”

Ellone chuckled.  “Either he’s getting faster or your aim’s starting to suck.” 

Raine narrowed her eyes and she retrieved her shoe, raising it in the air above her head.  “You’re next, young lady.”

Ellone ducked behind the chair.

Raine sat in front of her vanity, smoothing out her dress.  Ellone began to brush her long hair.  Raine sighed.  “It’s hard to believe last time we did this, you weren’t even four years old.” 

Ellone giggled.  “Yeah, and I sat on the floor and made my dress dirty.  I had a dusty butt the whole night.”

Raine laughed.  “Oh man, I was so upset.  That dress cost me one-hundred Gil.  That was a fortune back then, missy.”

Ellone put her hands on her hips.  “Take it out of my allowance, then.”  She carefully drew the brush through Raine’s hair, pulling back a few strands on either side of her face.  She fastened two small, diamond and emerald barrettes, assuring the hair wouldn’t fall back into Raine’s face.

Ellone stood back and admired her work.  “You look beautiful.”

Raine smiled and reached out for Ellone’s hand.  “Thank you, sweetheart.” 

They sat quietly for a moment, basking in the stillness of the room.  Winhill was beautiful in autumn, and the cool breeze coming in through the window was laced with the scent of late-blooming wildflowers.  Raine inhaled deeply, the aroma tickling her nose just as it had over twenty years prior.

The silence was broken by a tirade of expletives coming from the opening bathroom door.

“Holy shit, I look like a fucking Blobra.”  Jane stomped out of the restroom, shoes dangling from her fingers. 

Raine stood and moved over to her.  “Don’t be silly, you’re beautiful!”  She took her by the hand and led her to sit on the edge of the bed. 

Jane eased herself down, groaning as she sat.  “Well, I certainly don’t feel it.  My feet are killing me and my ankles are so swollen I can’t even bend them.”  She wiggled her puffy toes.  “I can’t even get my shoes on.”

Raine patted her on the leg.  “Well, by orders of the First Lady of Esthar on her wedding vow renewal day, I hereby declare that one Mrs. Jane Leonhart is exempt from wearing her shoes.”

Jane laughed.  “Hot damn!  I could get used to this whole ‘member of the First Family’ shit!”  She flung her shoes across the room, where they thumped against the dresser.  She reached around and massaged her back.  “Hyne, this kid’s really putting the hurt on me today.”

“Back still hurts, huh?”  Raine worked her knuckles into Jane’s lower back, just as her midwife had done so many years before.  “Does that help?”

Jane closed her eyes and let out a low growl.  “Like magic.  That’s incredible.”

“It’s an old trick my midwife used when I was pregnant.  Your husband made me quite uncomfortable near the end.”  She winked.

Jane put her hand on her bulging belly.  “I’m so sick of being pregnant.  I don’t even want to think about the fact that I still have five weeks to go…or that I actually have to get this kid _out._ ” 

Ellone sat next to them.  “It will go by super-fast, you’ll see.  We’ll all be fighting over her in no time.”

Jane sat forward and lurched off the bed.  “It better.  I’m about ready to evict this little girl.  My back really fucking hurts.”

Raine beamed at the mention of her granddaughter.  Even though Jane and Squall had insisted that her name remain a secret, Raine still couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by the impending birth.  She was so excited at the idea of this little life coming into the world, one that she could nurture and help to raise.  If you would have asked her seven months ago if any of this would be happening, she would have said “fat chance.”

Seven months ago, her life was in chaos.  Her son was fighting for his life; she and Laguna were desperately trying to make sense of the horrible event that threatened to tear their lives apart.  Nothing seemed like it would ever be okay again.

And yet, here they were.  Raine was moments away from renewing her vows with the man she loved more than life itself.  Then, in a little over a month, a new Leonhart would make her appearance into the world.  And before the next year was out, Ellone would be marrying Ryan and starting a life with him.

Ash was locked away in Laguna’s secret prison, with no mention of how he was being treated by anyone.  Raine didn’t care anyway; she never wanted to hear his name again.

“Well, Aunt Raine, we’d better get a move on! It’s bad luck to be late to your own wedding!”  Ellone took her hand and pulled her up off the bed.  She and Jane each took one side of the medium-length train trailing behind her dress. 

Raine twirled the engagement ring Laguna had given her all those months ago around her finger.   He had taken the wedding band from her that morning, claiming that he needed to put something on her finger or it wouldn’t be right.  She had laughed at him, of course, stating that they were already married and that this was just a wonderful way to celebrate their everlasting love. 

The trio of women left the bedroom, Jane waddling behind Raine as she tried to walk without discomfort. 

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“…”

“Ward says that tonight is a very special night.  We are together here as a family, to mark a new beginning.” Kiros smiled broadly, the soft glow of hundreds of candles illuminating his face.

They stood in the old pub Raine had once owned.  Laguna had purchased it from the previous owners right after the last Sorceress War, even though he never had any intention of opening it again.  When it came on the market, he jumped at the chance to get a piece of his history back.  The villagers had expressed their not-so-happy opinions on the matter, but when it came down to it, Laguna had spent an awful lot of money fixing up the building, and they were quietly grateful that it had been restored to its former glory.

Raine and Laguna had decided that the only place that was suitable to renew their vows was the place that had seen them married the first time. It was surreal to Raine as she stood there, face-to-face with her husband.  Last time they did this, Ellone was only four, Ward wasn’t present and she wasn’t even pregnant with Squall. 

She looked over at her son, his arm around his pregnant wife.  She couldn’t help but smile.

“…”

“Ward says that love is something that never grows old, and never dies.  It’s eternal.”   The giant man smiled broadly.  “Our lives have been through hell and back this year, and the fact that we’re all standing here today is a testament to that love.  We aren’t just here to celebrate the love that Raine and Laguna share, but the love that we all have for each other.  As a family.”

Laguna squeezed Raine’s hand and whispered, “Isn’t this great?  This night is perf-“

“…”

“Ward says shut up, Laguna.”  He nodded forcefully and gave the president a stern glance.

Laguna looked like a child who had been caught red-handed at the cookie jar.  “S-sorry, man.” He smiled sheepishly.

“…”

“So, moving on.  Ward says this union will only get stronger and that the love will continue to grow exponentially through the strands of time.”

“Whoa, Ward.  That’s really deep.”  Laguna was astonished.  “Are you sure that’s what he said, Kiros?  That’s pretty heavy stuff.”

Ward scowled and punched Laguna in the arm. 

“Hey, watch it, man! It was a joke!”  Laguna rubbed his aching bicep. 

Raine giggled.  “I just knew we wouldn’t be able to get through this night without some sort of physical violence.”

“You know, this would go a whole lot smoother if you guys stopped interrupting Ward.”  Squall crossed his arms over his chest. 

“…”

“Ward says Squall’s right and everybody shut the hell up.” 

Ellone snorted as she laughed.  “This is exactly how a Loire family function should be.”

“…”

“Ward says he would like to finish this before midnight.  Do you two have your vows prepared?”

Laguna looked into Raine’s eyes.  “Can I go first?” 

Ward nodded.

Laguna’s voice was smooth.  “Raine, the first moment I saw you in the precinct, it was like my life started over. I never in a million years thought that I would ever get to see your smiling face again, hold you in my arms, or introduce you to our son.”  He smiled softly.  “This year has seen some awful times, but I know that life can only get better from here on out.  I look forward to waking up to your beautiful smile every morning, and knowing that I get to have you forever. I love you more than life itself.  The faeries truly gave our family a gift when they brought you back.  But I’m gonna be selfish sometimes and hog you for myself.  ” He grinned and looked back at Squall and Jane.  “Sorry, guys, she’s mine.”

Squall shook his head and sighed.

Laguna fished the petite wedding band out of his pocket.  He grasped Raine’s hand gently as he slipped in on her finger.  “My love for you is eternal, Raine.  Just like the ring says.”  He winked.

Raine beamed.   “That was beautiful, Laguna.”  She squeezed his hand firmly.  “Now it’s my turn, huh?”  She exhaled deeply.  “When I was speeding toward Esthar the morning I came back, the only thing I could think of was how much I had missed you, and that I hoped you would still love me after all those years.  Silly, I know.  But when you came through that door and hugged me like there was no tomorrow, I knew that our lives would never be the same.  Nothing could have prepared me for how right I was.” She looked at Squall.  “Everything that means anything to me is in this room with us.  This night just isn’t about us, but about our family.  Everyone here tonight has invested in us having the life we were robbed of for so many years.  We’re going to make up for lost time.  Nothing in the world could take my happiness away from me at this moment.  Laguna, my love for you knows no bounds.  From the moment the villagers brought you to my doorstep all those years ago, I knew I loved you…even if I didn’t care to admit it at the time.”  She blushed and winked at Laguna.  “Never again will we have to be separated. Our love will bind this family together and…”

“Oh, shit!”

All eyes focused on Jane.  Her mouth was agape, a small puddle of clear liquid pooling at her feet.  

“I think my water just broke…”

“…” 

“Ward says gross.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

The screams from the upstairs bedroom were almost too much for Laguna to handle.  Nine hours prior, his vow renewal was cut short by his granddaughter, who was now, if Laguna calculated correctly, moments away from entering the world. 

That, or Jane’s swearing and yelling gave it away.

_“Fuck this shit!  Leonhart, you’re getting a vasectomy the minute we get back to Esthar!”_

Laguna sat at the bar, a cold bottle of beer cradled in his hand.  He didn’t care that it was three in the morning.  He needed something to occupy him or he’d be pacing.   Kiros and Ward sat on either side, calming the President’s nerves.  Ellone and Ryan dozed on the couch in the corner.

“Everything’ll be alright, man.  The midwife and Raine will take good care of her.”

Laguna couldn’t help but worry.  “But the baby’s early, guys.  What if she’s too little or something?”

“…”

“Ward says you worry too much.  Jane’s in really good shape, and the doctor said just last week that the baby’s healthy.”

Another scream erupted from above them, followed by a guttural moan. 

“Sounds like she’s close, man.  You’re gonna be a grandfather in no time.”

Jane had insisted that Raine come with when they went upstairs with the midwife.  She had become extremely close to her in the last several months, and Jane thought of her like a mother.  And this daughter wanted the closest thing she had to a mother in the vicinity to be with her when she gave birth.

Everyone was surprised at how quickly her labor had progressed.  Turns out, the back pain she had been experiencing for two days straight was actually back labor, and she had been closer to birth than anyone would have predicted.

_“This is bullshitttttttttttttttt!”_

The last scream was followed several seconds later by a lusty cry, strong and very loud.  Laguna’s eyes lit up and he jumped off of his barstool and ran to the foot of the staircase.  He could hear laughter and weeping coming from behind the closed door at the top of the stairs. 

“Guys!  The baby’s here!  I’m a grandfather!”  He ran to Kiros and Ward, pulling both men into a forceful embrace.  Ellone and Ryan joined the trio, and they all shared one massive family hug.

Several moments later, a bleary-eyed Squall came downstairs.  He looked exhausted, but couldn’t keep the smile from his face.  Laguna ran to him and almost knocked him down as he wrapped his arms around his chest.

“Hyne, Laguna!  Watch it!”  Squall pushed him away. 

Laguna wiped the tears from his eyes.  “Sorry, Squall!  I’m just so excited!  How’s the baby…and Jane?”

Squall smiled softly.  “Jane’s fine.  And your granddaughter can’t wait to meet you.”  He clapped Laguna on the shoulder.”

“…”

“Ward says we want details.”

“Five pounds.  Just like her Daddy, I’ve been told.  Nineteen inches long and tons of brown hair.  She won’t open her eyes much so we really can’t tell what color they are.”  Squall rubbed his neck, trying to loosen the knot that had formed.  “You’ll be able to see her in a little while. Jane’s trying to nurse her right now.  She’s having a bit of trouble, but Mom’s helping.” 

Laguna’s heart melted hearing Squall call Raine “Mom.”  Even though it had been commonplace for months, it still warmed him to the core every time he heard it.

“I’m gonna go back upstairs, but I’ll call you when it’s okay to come up.”

The group watched the proud, but dog-tired new father ascend the stairs and close the door behind him.  No one could stop smiling.

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

“Laguna, meet your new granddaughter.”  Raine took him by the hand and led him inside the room.

Jane was sitting up in the large bed, holding a tiny wriggling bundle in her arms.  They baby seemed fussy.

“Can I hold her?”  Laguna scratched the back of his neck.

Jane smiled warmly.  “Of course.  Maybe you can do something with her.  She doesn’t seem happy right now.”  As if on cue, the baby let out a pitiful cry.

Laguna took the baby in his arms, in disbelief at just how tiny she really was.  “C’mon, little lady.  Tell Grandpa what’s botherin’ you.”  He rocked her back and forth gently, and the baby calmed down instantly.  She opened her eyes and focused on Laguna.

“Oh man, little lady.  I’m in trouble.”  He gently touched the tip of her nose.  “I’m so in love with you already, how am I ever going to love you more?”

Squall sat beside Jane on the bed, his wife leaning her head on his shoulder.  “She’s already taken me under her spell, Dad.  It was just a matter of time before she got you, too.”

Laguna’s eyes moistened.  Raine wiped his tears away with her fingertips as she stood close.  “What do you think, _Grandpa_?”

Laguna shook his head in disbelief.  “She’s perfect.”

A knock at the door caused everyone to turn.  Kiros, Ward, Ellone and Ryan stood crowded in the doorframe, Ward’s giant head peeking out above all the others.  “There room for four more?” 

Jane smiled.  “Why not?  This kid’s gotta get used to crowds eventually, right?”

The foursome filtered in, Ryan and Ellone taking a position next to the open window.  Ward and Kiros stood on the side of the room, behind Laguna and Raine.

“…”

Kiros smiled.  “Ward says she’s really little.”

Laguna looked down at his granddaughter.  “She sure is.  Wanna hold her?”

Ward shook his head.  “…”

“He says no way.  Doesn’t want to break her.”

Laguna cradled the tiny baby in his arms.  “Nah, you won’t hurt her.  She’s a Leonhart.  She’s tough.”  He leaned his head in close and whispered in her ear.  “But tough girls can also be frilly.  Remember that when ‘ol Grandpa here buys you little pink dresses, okay?”

The baby yawned and snuggled into the floral-print blanket she was wrapped in.

Ellone spoke up.  “I can’t believe no one’s asked yet.”

“What?”  Raine ran her fingers through the baby’s soft hair.

“Her name?  You two have been keeping it a secret since you found out she was a girl!”

Squall lay back on the pillows, stretching his arm around Jane.  “You want to tell them or should I?”

Jane fought to keep her eyes open.  “You can.  I’m too fucking tired.”

Squall kissed her on the forehead.  “Her name’s Emily.  Emily Raine.”

Raine immediately brought her hand to her mouth and began to cry.  “Emily was my mother’s name…”

Squall nodded with a warm smile.  “I know.  I looked it up in the records here in Winhill.  We thought it would be a nice honor to you both.”

“I don’t know what to say.”  Raine rounded the bed and threw her arms around her son, then leaned in and kissed Jane’s cheek. 

“Say you’ll change diapers at three in the morning, then.” 

Raine slapped her son on the shoulder and laughed.  “Welcome to this crazy family, Emily Raine.  You don’t know what you’re in for.”

 

XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX   XxX  

 

_Author’s notes:  Well, here it is.  Fourteen months in the making.  When I first started, I never intended it to be more than twenty or so chapters.  Here we are, 64 strong!  I could have never imagined it morphing into what it has eventually become, but it’s wonderful.  I’m in shock that I actually did it._

_I want to thank everyone who has read/reviewed/followed and favorited over this past year.  All the support kept me going…especially when there were tantrums and tears.  (yes, that happened.)_

_A special thank you to my beta, QuietRaine.  This has been an incredible journey for us both, and Phoenix would never have become what it did without your tireless help.  I can never thank you enough for everything that you have done for me.  _

_Rydia Pryde, all your medical expertise made the gritty parts of this so much more intense.  I could have never in a million years made those scenes as real as I needed them to be without your help.  You put up with all my questions over those few months…you brave girl!  Thanks for letting me be annoying._

_And Ronin-ai for the beautiful cover art.  It’s exactly how I envisioned it to be.  Absolutely perfect._

_So, what now?  The world of Final Fantasy VIII is still ripe with possibilities and I intend to explore many of them.  Thank you to everyone who stayed with me on this long road and I hope I continue to entertain for a long time to come._

_All my love,_

_Bebedora_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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